MAGGIEROSEBOWL's SparkPeople Blog MAGGIEROSEBOWL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Olds Friends are GOLD Tonight was a cancer benefit dinner, that Du & I had signed up to attend a while back. You know Du thought it was important, since he gave up his first night of League Bowling to attend. I had contacted some dear old friends to join us. We have drifted apart over the years, after being close for many years when we were all young-marrieds, but I knew from her Christmas card, that she has been diagosed with and undergoing treatment for breast cancer, and sure enough, they were happy to donate t... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 00:28:32 EST It's Exciting Again! I remember when I finally bought a scale, almost four months into my weight-loss/getting healthy journey, back in March 2010, and got on it for the first time. I had been to the cardiologist for a heart check-up (my heart was fine) in January, and was a little disappointed that I was still over 300 lbs. (304 to be exact). In December when my family practice physician assistant had told me "The EKG seems to show you've already had a heart attack," I had weighed in at about 310 lbs. Later on in... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 10:47:40 EST Kindness I have been treated with much kindness throughout my life. Sure there are the stinkers in there who have been mean for no reason, and I have discovered my way to deal with this is to simply write them out of my life. If you can't be kind, I really have no use for you, it just hurts me too much. <BR> <BR> And so it goes with Spark. In over 5 years here, I have never encountered such a mean spirited comment as I did the other day from a so-called caring friend. I quickly deleted her nasty comm... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 16:16:40 EST Feeling Better I had been stuck in the 171's for over a week. Despite eating right, and walking as much as I could (for three days in a row I got over 10,000 steps--my knees hurt all night--but I DID IT!), the scale would NOT go down. I joined Chris & Heidi Powell's Diet Bet just after my previous Diet Bet had ended July 21. I barely made my 7.4 pound goal during that first Bet, but I got there! So this month started better. I was more motivated and much more self-disciplined. No Fourth of July holiday in t... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 14:11:44 EST Some Good Things in My Life, as I Try to Find Balance. First of all, I am staying strong in my commitment to lose the weight I gained over the last six months. In the last almost 60 days, I have dropped 14 of the 32 pounds I gained, and feel so good to have my weight loss/maintenance mojo back. It truly takes constant vigilance and obsession with eating right and moving more and that's where I am at once again. So that is ONE good thing in my life. <BR> <BR> My Du is responding to his cancer treatment. That is another GOOD thing in my life. His ... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 00:08:09 EST So Hard To Understand Like everyone else, today I am asking WHY? Robin Williams came to prominence when my children were young. We enjoyed Mork & Mindy, and because my oldest son is Mark, when we got our Siamese Cat in 1979, we named her Mindy, so that at our house we would have "Mark & Mindy." I even got Mark a pair of those infamous striped suspenders like Mork wore on the show. For Halloween that year, my middle son wore a "Mork" costume. <BR> <img src=""> ... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 09:03:31 EST SLOOOOOOOOOOOWLY It Comes Back Off Why does it always seem to take longer to lose weight than it does to gain it? I realize it's just a matter of perception, and probably inaccurate, but I swear it was easier to lose 178 pounds, than it has been to take off these 30 pounds I put back on. <BR> <BR> Around June 20, I joined a Diet Bet. In 30 days, I barely lost my 7.2 pounds to make the 4% loss required to get my money back. I started the next Diet Bet immediately, and so far, have lost 5.2 pounds. I need to lose another 1.8 po... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 09:09:23 EST Learning My Neighborhood Do you remember as a kid, back when we used to play outside ALL THE TIME, you knew every nook and cranny of your neighborhood. You knew the alleys, the streets, the stores, the ditches and culverts, as well as all the parks and great places to play. We moved to a new house when I was 11, and I don't think I ever learned a neighborhood that intimately after the house I lived in from ages 4-11. I remember Summer nights that went on forever, when all the neighbor kids would be out, and we would ... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 11:45:54 EST Sometimes Life Gets Hard, Very Hard I am dealing with the terminal diagnosis of my husband. He is doing well right now, other than some minor problems, and his recent scan results have been very good. The other day I posted on FB that I was busy planning our 50th Wedding Anniversary Celebration on Sept. 4, 2020. My dream is to make that milestone. When I lost weight, that was my goal, to live a good long life, well into retirement, with Du by my side. But our reality is always there, and it scares me to death and I worry about ... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 11:01:40 EST Get Over Yourself Sean over at<BR>014/08/august-1st-2014-its-living.html<BR>#comment-form <BR> wrote today about heading to the pool for a swim. He was ready to do it, even though he had some apprehension. I will be interested in what he has to say tomorrow about "baring it all" at a public pool. <BR> <BR> I have struggled with this forever, even before I was morbidly obese. While I was obese I never for one instant even considered putting on a swimming suit to wear... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 01:04:51 EST Making Salsa I made homemade salsa this morning. We had just enough tomatoes from our garden to make a batch. I can smell it simmering on the stove top. It smells delicious! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My only problem with salsa is the dilemma---WHAT to eat with it? I love chips with salsa, especially when served before your meal at a restaurant. I always try to pre-determine my chip limit, so I don't overdo. I won't say I'm always successful at stic... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 11:28:17 EST LOVING Life! I have read blogs by others who complain that life as a thin person was not what they expected. They found that people were no nicer to them, they didn't feel any different, and were no happier than before. <BR> <BR> I DISAGREE! I LOVE living in this world as a normal-sized person. Oh sure, now I'm 20 pounds too heavy, but that is nothing compared to that almost 180 extra pounds I used to carry around! Perhaps it was because I was so super morbidly obese, and that obesity affected every face... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 10:00:48 EST Four Ways to Get Your Weight-Loss MOJO Back!! All if takes for me to be tempted to eat something I shouldn't is just read about it, a blog, in a book, in the newspaper, magazine. If I see it on TV, I really want it. It doesn't take much for me to be tempted to eat "forbidden fruit." <BR> <BR> As I enter my second Diet Bet, I feel like I've got my MOJO back. There for a while, I had lost control. I would think about what I was doing, and justify it by telling myself, "I can't stop." But I know I could stop, and I have stop... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 12:37:13 EST A Cacaphony of Entertainment Choices I like food that has a wide variety of flavors. There was a movie a while back that Barbra Streisand directed, produced and starred in called, "The Mirror has Two Faces." <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I think I'm one of the few people that LOVED that movie. I also like the song from that movie (I Finally Found Someone--<BR>I), of course that's no surprise since I am a huge STREISAND FAN! To see he... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:06:07 EST Did I Look Like That??? I'm watching Brandy's episode on EWL from last Tuesday right now. Just saw her initial weigh-in. When I saw her with just a sports bra on and her enormous stomach, I thought to myself, "She must weight close to 400 lbs." But the scale said 329 lbs. My starting weight was 328 lbs. I never thought I was that fat, but then I see pictures like this and I know I was. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have my "fat" picture on the fridge for motiv... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:44:32 EST 100 Happy Days -- The Conclusion (Days 98-100) Day 98: We live just southwest of Lincoln, Nebraska, on an acreage. It is a nice place to live, we have neighbors, but they aren't close, since we all have three acres. Juno has lots of room to run, and Du loves playing farmer in the garden and yard. We both love the peace and quiet out here in the countryside. We also both know that moving off the acreage is in our future, with his cancer, he isn't going to be able to take care of this yard forever. But we are putting it off, because neither... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 09:16:49 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 97 (And ANGER at Myself!) Day 97 -- This little guy is just so adorable. At the Bowling Alley Monday night, I was feeding him, and when he was done, I remembered that when his big brother was about that age, I used to take his hands and make him clap, and he would smile, So I tried it with Noah and it worked! His smile really lights up the room, and my life. This little guy makes me so happy every single day! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was thinking about my b... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 16:09:08 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 96 (A Very Happy Day Indeed!) Yesterday in my e-mail was a note that a message was waiting for us in the Patient Portal at Du's Urologist. I was happy to see this message! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We are now 17 months into the initial treatment for advanced prostate cancer, which consists of shots to eliminate testosterone, which stops the spread of the cancer temporarily. The average time this treatment is effective is 18 months, so to hear that it is still work... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 10:19:33 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 91-95 (and FEAR rears its ugly head) Oh My Goodness--My 100 Days of Happy is almost over. I have enjoyed it--mostly. Sometimes I struggled a little to find something unique to be happy about. I always can find something to be happy about in my retirement, but I tried to find something new and different each day. I have kept a calendar by my computer, and each day list my "Happy" for the day so as not to repeat. I realize, I used my Bulldog Juno repeatedly, but she is just so darned cute and makes me so happy, it was hard not to.... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 11:38:27 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 89 and 90, Plus Staying Obsessed Someone posted something on Facebook the other day about how being obsessed leads to success. It got me to thinking about how important obsession is in the weight loss game. I slowly became more and more obsessed back when I lost 178 pounds, each day finding more methods to fuel the obsession--Sparkpeople, Weight Loss memoirs, Low-Calorie Recipe Websites, Weight Watcher Magazine, and Weight Loss Blogs. There is so much available today to help up along the way. I just wish there was more suppo... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 12:21:33 EST Reading the Fine Print Du and I went to Ruby Tuesday for lunch today. I always order the sliced sirloin Petite Lunch Plate, it comes with delicious mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli, for a grand total of 360 calories. I love it, and although the portion of steak and potatoes is quite small, it's pretty good for a lunch. I try to fill up on the broccoli, which while edible, is not my favorite veggie! <em>43</em> <BR> <BR> So today, they had a new promotional menu, and I saw they had a new appetizer called "T... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 20:11:47 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 83-88 What a busy weekend! It was such fun, and yet it's a relief that it's all over. We hosted a group of friends and family on the Fourth for our annual party. Since we took the pool down, it was necessary to find other entertainment for the kids (we had 12 children here, 11 of them were aged four and under), so Chris (youngest son) and I went out on Wed. and bought a trampoline. Du & I spent that day and the next one putting it all together. Du did the bulk of the work and instruction-interpreti... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 11:01:13 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 79-82 We finally got to see a local Oncologist yesterday. He doesn't think Du should start chemo now. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. I have done quite a bit of reading on various prostate cancer treatments and most doctors recommend delaying chemo as long as possible, due to its harshness. It was a little frustrating not to be given a chance to try the latest treatment, and yet we both went away feeling a little more optimistic about Du's cancer. <BR> <BR> The oncologist, Dr. Av... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 09:54:50 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 75-78 I've been doing pretty well this week, back on my journey. I'm eating less and moving more--the old tried and true formula for weight loss! I got my Fitbit re-synced (took some doing), and now I can access my stats on the computer dashboard that is part of the Fitbit. I also downloaded a couple of Apps for my phone: Map My Walk (which I already had signed up for evidently--just never used), and Pedometer. It's interesting to see the differences between my Fitbit, Pedometer, and Map My Walk. ... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 11:02:27 EST Off the Subject... Today I'm not doing my series of 100 Happy Days. I'm still posting a daily "Happy" to FB, and will catch up here in a few days, but there's so much going through my head right now, I had to get it down, and this is my favorite place to write about weight-loss. <BR> <BR> I wrote yesterday about joining a Diet Bet. It has motivated me more than anything else lately. I hope this determination lasts. It only costs $20, so you wouldn't think it would be that motivating, but for some reason it is.... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:30:44 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 72-74 Things are looking up around our house. Du is finally starting to feel better, a month and a half after his basically failed TURP surgery. He still uses his catheter, and I don't see him being able to get rid of it anytime in the future. But at least it makes us both feel better that the Urologist made the supra-pubic hole larger during surgery, so that it is less likely to clog. Du worked really hard around the yard this weekend. He got his third load of wood chips/mulch for our berms and la... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 15:13:29 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 68-71 I've had a good couple of days. Decided to weigh in last Friday, then wait a whole week (something I've never been able to do) and see how I did. The results weren't great. I was a little shocked last Friday because the scale read 177.4. That seemed low considering where it was the last time I had been on it. Must have been a low day. Because after a week of little snacking (and the snacks were fruit!), today I weighed 179.4. Crap. Excuse my French, as my mom used to say. I just need to move ... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:14:40 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 67 -- A Perfect Father's Day! It was a beautiful day yesterday, the weather was perfect, the yard looks good (still green, not too many weeds yet), and the family came out to celebrate Father's Day with my Du. <BR> <BR> Chris (youngest) had to go to work around noon, but went out and bought Du some bushes to replace the ones that had died in front of our porch. Then he and Du got them planted. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I had dinner done and ready to bake early in ... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 12:05:11 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 64-66 Du has been feeling better lately. His wound from where the doctor make the hole for the supra-pubic catheter larger (so it wouldn't clog) is still bleeding, but the doctor said that is sometimes the case. The first time they put in the supra-pubic cath, the hole healed right up, but that hole was much smaller. Since getting rid of the catheter isn't happening, we are hopeful this larger hole will mean less clogging! We even went for a walk down the road Friday evening at his suggestion. It w... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 15:17:32 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 60-63 I've been trying to repeat the mantra, "It's Only Food!" to get myself to stop snacking so much. Not sure why food is so important to me, why I'm so obsessed with it, why it has such a hold over me. After all, "It's only food!" It's not the be-all, end-all of existence, it should NOT be the most important thing in my life. I have so much to fulfill me, my children, my grandchildren, my wonderful Du, my pets, my home, my life is really full with love, and yet I constantly turn to food for comf... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 11:12:12 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 57-59 I have been reading lots of blogs (weight-loss), and doing a lot of commenting. I love how others make me think and re-evaluate my own methods and goals. Sean Anderson had a lot of success losing weight, wrote a memoir about it, then proceeded to regain 140 of the over 260 pounds he lost. It's easy to lose your way, but now he is back at it. He blogs daily once again, feeling that helps keep him accountable, he tweets pictures of everything he eats and also uses Facebook extensively for short... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 12:10:10 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 54-56 Okay--I'll get to the "Happy" stuff later, but it's time for another rant. I called Duane's Urologist's office on Monday, because I was so excited about the article in Monday's newspaper. It told about new clinical trial studies showing that giving men with advanced prostate cancer docetaxel, an old, cheap chemo drug RIGHT AWAY (instead of waiting until the hormone shots are no longer keeping the cancer from progressing--usually around 18 months), extends survival for close to 14 months! I le... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 09:36:05 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 50-53 We had an extremely busy weekend. My nephew came to visit with his girlfriend. He graduated from college earlier this month and his parents gave him tickets to the "Cher/Cyndi Lauper Concert which was in Lincoln Friday night. This is the nephew who started his college career living with us for 9 months, while he attended community college here in town starting in the Fall of 2009. He is a great young man, so polite, well mannered, smart and fun to be around. He transferred to a state college ... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 10:15:02 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 45-49 Yesterday was a tough day. Du has had one of his recurrent UTI's and I got him into see a PA at the Urologist's office. We never see the doctor. In the 15 months since his terminal cancer diagnosis, I bet we've actually seen the doctor less than five times, and we are at his office every month (at least) for shots. He didn't even see the doctor at his post-op appointment last week. The PA tried to go out and get the doctor's opinion on the treatment she was suggesting for Du, but he was busy ... Thu, 29 May 2014 09:56:20 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 41-44 A couple days ago I updated Adobe on my computer, in order to access a file/form I needed to fill out to renew my substitute teaching status with the local public school system. Somehow I got the PC Health virus--it was awful. I have been working for two days to delete the files from my computer, with no luck, so I just now restored my computer to a week ago. Good Grief! It seems fine now, but I'm going to continue to blame the public school for my problems! This incident definitely did NOT m... Sat, 24 May 2014 18:49:28 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 38-40 I am struggling mightily lately. As always, my meals are fine. I remember Joy Bauer's statement when she was introducing me on the Today Show. She showed all the food I snacked on, and told Kathie Lee & Hoda that I was eating enough snacks to gain "a pound a day!" Well that wasn't true of course, because over the period of 30 years that I was overweight, I pretty much maintained my 300+ pounds for quite some time. Joy went on to assure Kathie Lee that, "Pam's meals were fine!" <BR> <BR> And ... Tue, 20 May 2014 08:58:30 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 33-37 I'm not going to lie--it hasn't been all that easy to find a reason to be happy for the last several days. Du went into the hospital for surgery Wednesday and it's been a rough road for him, and because he hurts, I hurt too. It's incredibly hard to see him in so much pain and discomfort, and I can't help but think the surgery was a mistake. He was getting along before and now he is really struggling. And I also can't help thinking that this is what it'll be like as we get further along in thi... Sat, 17 May 2014 19:01:17 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 29-32 How'd I get so far behind in my 100 Happy Days? Time flew by this weekend, and it was wonderful! <BR> <BR> Day 29 -- The lilacs at my house are in full bloom. I love them and they remind me of my Mom, since they were her favorite flower. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 30 -- May 10, 196... Mon, 12 May 2014 09:30:19 EST 100 Days of Happy -- Days 26-28 Day 26: Amber got to meet her little brother, Noah, and hold him. She was just slightly elated! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 27: Du got to meet little Noah and confirmed what the rest of us knew: He's perfect! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Du wouldn't pose for me, but I caught the moment. <BR> <BR> Day 28: A evening at the park with Amber, Du & Juno. (We went last night--b... Thu, 8 May 2014 16:21:37 EST Day 24-25 - 100 Days of Happy I know I skipped a few days here--but did post my "Happy of the Day" for Days 23-25 on Facebook: Day 23: Du tilling the garden, getting it ready to plant the seeds I bought, as well as the tomato and pepper plants. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> To me, this represents hope for our future. He will be here to enjoy the fruits of his labor! <BR> <BR> Day 24: Saturday night, I invited the family out for a pre-Cinco de Mayo fiesta dinner. Pione... Tue, 6 May 2014 10:05:00 EST Day 22 - 100 Happy Days <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I found this sign at Hobby Lobby last week. It seemed to describe the attitude we need to adopt as we are on a very scary journey. I hope it will remind me to stay strong as we navigate these waters, that are stormy, unpredictable and terrifying. <BR> <BR> Katie at has challenged herself to remain sweets-free for the month of May. I noticed Spark issued a challenge to us to walk a m... Fri, 2 May 2014 12:03:57 EST Days 20 and 21 -- 100 Happy Days Day 20 - Had my second upper endoscopy yesterday. If I had not met the stop-loss on my health insurance I probably would have foregone the procedure, because since I had the first endoscopy in March and the Dr. found a large ulcer (BUT NO CANCER!) and told me to stop taking aspirin, I have felt great. No stomach aches, or cramps, no middle of the night attacks that eventually started lasting for days. I was pretty sure my ulcer had healed. Of course, I had so many tests before the first endos... Thu, 1 May 2014 11:21:24 EST Day 19 -- 100 Happy Days Today, my new little kitty is what makes me happy. She appeared at our house last Fall, and Chris immediately found a can of tuna and opened it and offered it to her out on our picnic table. Of course, she never left after that. I started buying cat food and continued to feed her on the picnic table. But as it got colder, my soft heart invited her inside my house. She has turned into the best cat I ever had, and I've owned many cats over the year. The last cats were Himalayans, <BR> <img src... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:50:25 EST Day 18--100 Happy Days As many of you know, my fourth grandchild is due late next month. My daughter-in-law has a history of delivering early, my 8-year-old grandson was born 5 weeks early, and my adorable 4-year-old granddaughter was born 2 weeks early. They always elect NOT to find out the baby's sex beforehand, as is usually done these days, so we are all surprised on D-Day, which is so much fun. My sweet daughter-in-law looks like she's about to 'pop,' so I'm thinking this baby could also come early. <BR> <img... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 11:45:16 EST Day 17 -- 100 Happy Days Yesterday afternoon after Amber went home, Du & I attended the wedding of one of his co-worker's sons. It was quite an elaborate affair, 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen! At the reception, we sat at a table with two of his other co-workers (also Pressmen) and their wives, and I enjoyed listening to them talk 'shop.' They don't usually get together socially, and it was fun to listen to and watch their interaction... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> ... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 14:35:56 EST Days 15 and 16 -- 100 Happy Days Yesterday, Chris, Juno and I took a long walk down the road. It was a glorious Spring Day, close to 70 degrees already by 10 a.m., with little wind--PERFECT and rare! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Later, I picked up DGD Amber and we spent a wonderful day and evening together. We picked flowers from all over the yard, made bouquets, built a "bonfire" in the fire pit, roasted marshmallows (the bonfire was Amber's, since it was her ide... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 14:55:31 EST Day 14 - 100 Happy Days It's amazing that I am having no problem at all coming up with something to be happy about each and every single day. I think I am basically a happy person. Du's cancer is always there in my mind, but I try not to dwell on it, and writing about a new 'happy' in my life every single day is helping with that. <BR> <BR> Thursday nights, Du and our three sons bowl in a league along with a close family friend, who is like our fourth son. We take turns picking a restaurant each week and all go to ... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 15:26:39 EST Day 13 - 100 Happy Days Yesterday I was happy for the kindness of strangers, in particular, a seller on ebay who is sending me the instructions so I can finish my baby afghan, after Juno chewed up letters T-Z. <BR> <BR> In thinking about crafts, I started noticing all the handmade items that decorate my home. Most of them are the handwork on my mother, gone now almost 24 years. I know the things she made decorate many other homes as well, and hopefully they think of her, as I do, when I look at these beautiful work... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 12:39:43 EST Day 12 -- 100 Days of Happy I wrote on Day 2 about my Juno Bulldog eating the instructions for the afghan I was making for my new grandchild (due next month)! Someone here suggested that I perhaps could find the instructions available on-line. I had bought it as a counted cross-stitch kit for around $30, and did not want to buy a whole new kit for just the instruction pattern. So last night I decided to investigate the Internet. I had tried to tape together the little tiny pieces of paper, but it's hard enough to follow... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 09:39:48 EST Easter Happiness I've been posting each day of my #100HappyDays on Facebook, but was away from my computer for a few days, as we traveled to Iowa for a Husker pre-season Volleyball Game, as well as a wonderful Easter celebration with my in-laws who live near Ames, so I didn't take the time to blog here. <BR> <BR> Saturday we traveled to Ames and enjoyed watching our Husker Ladies defeat the equally wonderful Iowa State Cyclones in all four games they played. The games were all close, but I think the Huskers ... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 10:19:13 EST