MAGGIEROSEBOWL's SparkPeople Blog MAGGIEROSEBOWL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Four Ways to Get Your Weight-Loss MOJO Back!! All if takes for me to be tempted to eat something I shouldn't is just read about it, a blog, in a book, in the newspaper, magazine. If I see it on TV, I really want it. It doesn't take much for me to be tempted to eat "forbidden fruit." <BR> <BR> As I enter my second Diet Bet, I feel like I've got my MOJO back. There for a while, I had lost control. I would think about what I was doing, and justify it by telling myself, "I can't stop." But I know I could stop, and I have stop... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 12:37:13 EST A Cacaphony of Entertainment Choices I like food that has a wide variety of flavors. There was a movie a while back that Barbra Streisand directed, produced and starred in called, "The Mirror has Two Faces." <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I think I'm one of the few people that LOVED that movie. I also like the song from that movie (I Finally Found Someone--<BR>I), of course that's no surprise since I am a huge STREISAND FAN! To see he... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:06:07 EST Did I Look Like That??? I'm watching Brandy's episode on EWL from last Tuesday right now. Just saw her initial weigh-in. When I saw her with just a sports bra on and her enormous stomach, I thought to myself, "She must weight close to 400 lbs." But the scale said 329 lbs. My starting weight was 328 lbs. I never thought I was that fat, but then I see pictures like this and I know I was. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have my "fat" picture on the fridge for motiv... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 15:44:32 EST 100 Happy Days -- The Conclusion (Days 98-100) Day 98: We live just southwest of Lincoln, Nebraska, on an acreage. It is a nice place to live, we have neighbors, but they aren't close, since we all have three acres. Juno has lots of room to run, and Du loves playing farmer in the garden and yard. We both love the peace and quiet out here in the countryside. We also both know that moving off the acreage is in our future, with his cancer, he isn't going to be able to take care of this yard forever. But we are putting it off, because neither... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 09:16:49 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 97 (And ANGER at Myself!) Day 97 -- This little guy is just so adorable. At the Bowling Alley Monday night, I was feeding him, and when he was done, I remembered that when his big brother was about that age, I used to take his hands and make him clap, and he would smile, So I tried it with Noah and it worked! His smile really lights up the room, and my life. This little guy makes me so happy every single day! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was thinking about my b... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 16:09:08 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 96 (A Very Happy Day Indeed!) Yesterday in my e-mail was a note that a message was waiting for us in the Patient Portal at Du's Urologist. I was happy to see this message! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We are now 17 months into the initial treatment for advanced prostate cancer, which consists of shots to eliminate testosterone, which stops the spread of the cancer temporarily. The average time this treatment is effective is 18 months, so to hear that it is still work... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 10:19:33 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 91-95 (and FEAR rears its ugly head) Oh My Goodness--My 100 Days of Happy is almost over. I have enjoyed it--mostly. Sometimes I struggled a little to find something unique to be happy about. I always can find something to be happy about in my retirement, but I tried to find something new and different each day. I have kept a calendar by my computer, and each day list my "Happy" for the day so as not to repeat. I realize, I used my Bulldog Juno repeatedly, but she is just so darned cute and makes me so happy, it was hard not to.... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 11:38:27 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 89 and 90, Plus Staying Obsessed Someone posted something on Facebook the other day about how being obsessed leads to success. It got me to thinking about how important obsession is in the weight loss game. I slowly became more and more obsessed back when I lost 178 pounds, each day finding more methods to fuel the obsession--Sparkpeople, Weight Loss memoirs, Low-Calorie Recipe Websites, Weight Watcher Magazine, and Weight Loss Blogs. There is so much available today to help up along the way. I just wish there was more suppo... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 12:21:33 EST Reading the Fine Print Du and I went to Ruby Tuesday for lunch today. I always order the sliced sirloin Petite Lunch Plate, it comes with delicious mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli, for a grand total of 360 calories. I love it, and although the portion of steak and potatoes is quite small, it's pretty good for a lunch. I try to fill up on the broccoli, which while edible, is not my favorite veggie! <em>43</em> <BR> <BR> So today, they had a new promotional menu, and I saw they had a new appetizer called "T... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 20:11:47 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 83-88 What a busy weekend! It was such fun, and yet it's a relief that it's all over. We hosted a group of friends and family on the Fourth for our annual party. Since we took the pool down, it was necessary to find other entertainment for the kids (we had 12 children here, 11 of them were aged four and under), so Chris (youngest son) and I went out on Wed. and bought a trampoline. Du & I spent that day and the next one putting it all together. Du did the bulk of the work and instruction-interpreti... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 11:01:13 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 79-82 We finally got to see a local Oncologist yesterday. He doesn't think Du should start chemo now. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. I have done quite a bit of reading on various prostate cancer treatments and most doctors recommend delaying chemo as long as possible, due to its harshness. It was a little frustrating not to be given a chance to try the latest treatment, and yet we both went away feeling a little more optimistic about Du's cancer. <BR> <BR> The oncologist, Dr. Av... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 09:54:50 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 75-78 I've been doing pretty well this week, back on my journey. I'm eating less and moving more--the old tried and true formula for weight loss! I got my Fitbit re-synced (took some doing), and now I can access my stats on the computer dashboard that is part of the Fitbit. I also downloaded a couple of Apps for my phone: Map My Walk (which I already had signed up for evidently--just never used), and Pedometer. It's interesting to see the differences between my Fitbit, Pedometer, and Map My Walk. ... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 11:02:27 EST Off the Subject... Today I'm not doing my series of 100 Happy Days. I'm still posting a daily "Happy" to FB, and will catch up here in a few days, but there's so much going through my head right now, I had to get it down, and this is my favorite place to write about weight-loss. <BR> <BR> I wrote yesterday about joining a Diet Bet. It has motivated me more than anything else lately. I hope this determination lasts. It only costs $20, so you wouldn't think it would be that motivating, but for some reason it is.... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:30:44 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 72-74 Things are looking up around our house. Du is finally starting to feel better, a month and a half after his basically failed TURP surgery. He still uses his catheter, and I don't see him being able to get rid of it anytime in the future. But at least it makes us both feel better that the Urologist made the supra-pubic hole larger during surgery, so that it is less likely to clog. Du worked really hard around the yard this weekend. He got his third load of wood chips/mulch for our berms and la... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 15:13:29 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 68-71 I've had a good couple of days. Decided to weigh in last Friday, then wait a whole week (something I've never been able to do) and see how I did. The results weren't great. I was a little shocked last Friday because the scale read 177.4. That seemed low considering where it was the last time I had been on it. Must have been a low day. Because after a week of little snacking (and the snacks were fruit!), today I weighed 179.4. Crap. Excuse my French, as my mom used to say. I just need to move ... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:14:40 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 67 -- A Perfect Father's Day! It was a beautiful day yesterday, the weather was perfect, the yard looks good (still green, not too many weeds yet), and the family came out to celebrate Father's Day with my Du. <BR> <BR> Chris (youngest) had to go to work around noon, but went out and bought Du some bushes to replace the ones that had died in front of our porch. Then he and Du got them planted. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I had dinner done and ready to bake early in ... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 12:05:11 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 64-66 Du has been feeling better lately. His wound from where the doctor make the hole for the supra-pubic catheter larger (so it wouldn't clog) is still bleeding, but the doctor said that is sometimes the case. The first time they put in the supra-pubic cath, the hole healed right up, but that hole was much smaller. Since getting rid of the catheter isn't happening, we are hopeful this larger hole will mean less clogging! We even went for a walk down the road Friday evening at his suggestion. It w... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 15:17:32 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 60-63 I've been trying to repeat the mantra, "It's Only Food!" to get myself to stop snacking so much. Not sure why food is so important to me, why I'm so obsessed with it, why it has such a hold over me. After all, "It's only food!" It's not the be-all, end-all of existence, it should NOT be the most important thing in my life. I have so much to fulfill me, my children, my grandchildren, my wonderful Du, my pets, my home, my life is really full with love, and yet I constantly turn to food for comf... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 11:12:12 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 57-59 I have been reading lots of blogs (weight-loss), and doing a lot of commenting. I love how others make me think and re-evaluate my own methods and goals. Sean Anderson had a lot of success losing weight, wrote a memoir about it, then proceeded to regain 140 of the over 260 pounds he lost. It's easy to lose your way, but now he is back at it. He blogs daily once again, feeling that helps keep him accountable, he tweets pictures of everything he eats and also uses Facebook extensively for short... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 12:10:10 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 54-56 Okay--I'll get to the "Happy" stuff later, but it's time for another rant. I called Duane's Urologist's office on Monday, because I was so excited about the article in Monday's newspaper. It told about new clinical trial studies showing that giving men with advanced prostate cancer docetaxel, an old, cheap chemo drug RIGHT AWAY (instead of waiting until the hormone shots are no longer keeping the cancer from progressing--usually around 18 months), extends survival for close to 14 months! I le... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 09:36:05 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 50-53 We had an extremely busy weekend. My nephew came to visit with his girlfriend. He graduated from college earlier this month and his parents gave him tickets to the "Cher/Cyndi Lauper Concert which was in Lincoln Friday night. This is the nephew who started his college career living with us for 9 months, while he attended community college here in town starting in the Fall of 2009. He is a great young man, so polite, well mannered, smart and fun to be around. He transferred to a state college ... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 10:15:02 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 45-49 Yesterday was a tough day. Du has had one of his recurrent UTI's and I got him into see a PA at the Urologist's office. We never see the doctor. In the 15 months since his terminal cancer diagnosis, I bet we've actually seen the doctor less than five times, and we are at his office every month (at least) for shots. He didn't even see the doctor at his post-op appointment last week. The PA tried to go out and get the doctor's opinion on the treatment she was suggesting for Du, but he was busy ... Thu, 29 May 2014 09:56:20 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 41-44 A couple days ago I updated Adobe on my computer, in order to access a file/form I needed to fill out to renew my substitute teaching status with the local public school system. Somehow I got the PC Health virus--it was awful. I have been working for two days to delete the files from my computer, with no luck, so I just now restored my computer to a week ago. Good Grief! It seems fine now, but I'm going to continue to blame the public school for my problems! This incident definitely did NOT m... Sat, 24 May 2014 18:49:28 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 38-40 I am struggling mightily lately. As always, my meals are fine. I remember Joy Bauer's statement when she was introducing me on the Today Show. She showed all the food I snacked on, and told Kathie Lee & Hoda that I was eating enough snacks to gain "a pound a day!" Well that wasn't true of course, because over the period of 30 years that I was overweight, I pretty much maintained my 300+ pounds for quite some time. Joy went on to assure Kathie Lee that, "Pam's meals were fine!" <BR> <BR> And ... Tue, 20 May 2014 08:58:30 EST 100 Happy Days -- Day 33-37 I'm not going to lie--it hasn't been all that easy to find a reason to be happy for the last several days. Du went into the hospital for surgery Wednesday and it's been a rough road for him, and because he hurts, I hurt too. It's incredibly hard to see him in so much pain and discomfort, and I can't help but think the surgery was a mistake. He was getting along before and now he is really struggling. And I also can't help thinking that this is what it'll be like as we get further along in thi... Sat, 17 May 2014 19:01:17 EST 100 Happy Days -- Days 29-32 How'd I get so far behind in my 100 Happy Days? Time flew by this weekend, and it was wonderful! <BR> <BR> Day 29 -- The lilacs at my house are in full bloom. I love them and they remind me of my Mom, since they were her favorite flower. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 30 -- May 10, 196... Mon, 12 May 2014 09:30:19 EST 100 Days of Happy -- Days 26-28 Day 26: Amber got to meet her little brother, Noah, and hold him. She was just slightly elated! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 27: Du got to meet little Noah and confirmed what the rest of us knew: He's perfect! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Du wouldn't pose for me, but I caught the moment. <BR> <BR> Day 28: A evening at the park with Amber, Du & Juno. (We went last night--b... Thu, 8 May 2014 16:21:37 EST Day 24-25 - 100 Days of Happy I know I skipped a few days here--but did post my "Happy of the Day" for Days 23-25 on Facebook: Day 23: Du tilling the garden, getting it ready to plant the seeds I bought, as well as the tomato and pepper plants. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> To me, this represents hope for our future. He will be here to enjoy the fruits of his labor! <BR> <BR> Day 24: Saturday night, I invited the family out for a pre-Cinco de Mayo fiesta dinner. Pione... Tue, 6 May 2014 10:05:00 EST Day 22 - 100 Happy Days <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I found this sign at Hobby Lobby last week. It seemed to describe the attitude we need to adopt as we are on a very scary journey. I hope it will remind me to stay strong as we navigate these waters, that are stormy, unpredictable and terrifying. <BR> <BR> Katie at has challenged herself to remain sweets-free for the month of May. I noticed Spark issued a challenge to us to walk a m... Fri, 2 May 2014 12:03:57 EST Days 20 and 21 -- 100 Happy Days Day 20 - Had my second upper endoscopy yesterday. If I had not met the stop-loss on my health insurance I probably would have foregone the procedure, because since I had the first endoscopy in March and the Dr. found a large ulcer (BUT NO CANCER!) and told me to stop taking aspirin, I have felt great. No stomach aches, or cramps, no middle of the night attacks that eventually started lasting for days. I was pretty sure my ulcer had healed. Of course, I had so many tests before the first endos... Thu, 1 May 2014 11:21:24 EST Day 19 -- 100 Happy Days Today, my new little kitty is what makes me happy. She appeared at our house last Fall, and Chris immediately found a can of tuna and opened it and offered it to her out on our picnic table. Of course, she never left after that. I started buying cat food and continued to feed her on the picnic table. But as it got colder, my soft heart invited her inside my house. She has turned into the best cat I ever had, and I've owned many cats over the year. The last cats were Himalayans, <BR> <img src... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:50:25 EST Day 18--100 Happy Days As many of you know, my fourth grandchild is due late next month. My daughter-in-law has a history of delivering early, my 8-year-old grandson was born 5 weeks early, and my adorable 4-year-old granddaughter was born 2 weeks early. They always elect NOT to find out the baby's sex beforehand, as is usually done these days, so we are all surprised on D-Day, which is so much fun. My sweet daughter-in-law looks like she's about to 'pop,' so I'm thinking this baby could also come early. <BR> <img... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 11:45:16 EST Day 17 -- 100 Happy Days Yesterday afternoon after Amber went home, Du & I attended the wedding of one of his co-worker's sons. It was quite an elaborate affair, 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen! At the reception, we sat at a table with two of his other co-workers (also Pressmen) and their wives, and I enjoyed listening to them talk 'shop.' They don't usually get together socially, and it was fun to listen to and watch their interaction... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> ... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 14:35:56 EST Days 15 and 16 -- 100 Happy Days Yesterday, Chris, Juno and I took a long walk down the road. It was a glorious Spring Day, close to 70 degrees already by 10 a.m., with little wind--PERFECT and rare! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Later, I picked up DGD Amber and we spent a wonderful day and evening together. We picked flowers from all over the yard, made bouquets, built a "bonfire" in the fire pit, roasted marshmallows (the bonfire was Amber's, since it was her ide... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 14:55:31 EST Day 14 - 100 Happy Days It's amazing that I am having no problem at all coming up with something to be happy about each and every single day. I think I am basically a happy person. Du's cancer is always there in my mind, but I try not to dwell on it, and writing about a new 'happy' in my life every single day is helping with that. <BR> <BR> Thursday nights, Du and our three sons bowl in a league along with a close family friend, who is like our fourth son. We take turns picking a restaurant each week and all go to ... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 15:26:39 EST Day 13 - 100 Happy Days Yesterday I was happy for the kindness of strangers, in particular, a seller on ebay who is sending me the instructions so I can finish my baby afghan, after Juno chewed up letters T-Z. <BR> <BR> In thinking about crafts, I started noticing all the handmade items that decorate my home. Most of them are the handwork on my mother, gone now almost 24 years. I know the things she made decorate many other homes as well, and hopefully they think of her, as I do, when I look at these beautiful work... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 12:39:43 EST Day 12 -- 100 Days of Happy I wrote on Day 2 about my Juno Bulldog eating the instructions for the afghan I was making for my new grandchild (due next month)! Someone here suggested that I perhaps could find the instructions available on-line. I had bought it as a counted cross-stitch kit for around $30, and did not want to buy a whole new kit for just the instruction pattern. So last night I decided to investigate the Internet. I had tried to tape together the little tiny pieces of paper, but it's hard enough to follow... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 09:39:48 EST Easter Happiness I've been posting each day of my #100HappyDays on Facebook, but was away from my computer for a few days, as we traveled to Iowa for a Husker pre-season Volleyball Game, as well as a wonderful Easter celebration with my in-laws who live near Ames, so I didn't take the time to blog here. <BR> <BR> Saturday we traveled to Ames and enjoyed watching our Husker Ladies defeat the equally wonderful Iowa State Cyclones in all four games they played. The games were all close, but I think the Huskers ... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 10:19:13 EST 100 Days of Happy - Day 8 -- Losing Weight & Regaining my Health! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Finally, on Day 8 of my 100 Days of Happiness Challenge, I get around to mentioning how happy having lost weight and getting healthy makes me each and every single day. Sometimes I forget all I have gained with this weight loss. While we were at Cancer Treatment Center (CTCA) earlier this week, I noticed the chairs everywhere were narrow and had arms. Occasionally there would be a couch, that's what I would have b... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 13:53:35 EST Days 6 and 7 -- REAL HAPPINESS On Day 6, we were at the Cancer Treatment Center (CTCA) and I took a picture in the cafeteria and posted it on Facebook, as part of my 100 Happy Days Challenge. They have a wonderful "Wholesome Bistro" as they call it, there, and they serve healthy, yet tasty food. Calorie content is listed for many of their items, and they have such a nice healthy variety to pick from. Not only that, but not only are the patients given a food allowance, so are their caregivers. We didn't pay one penny for th... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 20:59:50 EST Day 4 and Day 5 - 100 Days of Happy I did post to FB last night, we hosted sons and their families for an early Easter dinner and Egg Hunt yesterday, and that kept me pretty busy all day long, so didn't get a blog posted here. <BR> <BR> Here's what made me happy yesterday! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Chris (youngest son) made deviled eggs for our Easter dinner yesterday. I abhor them, can't even stand the smell, but everyone else loves them. I refuse to make them, so someone el... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 10:04:55 EST Day 3--100 Happy Days Du and I went out of town yesterday, to a bowling tournament, and didn't get home until almost dark. I did take time to snap a picture of the forsythia bushes that are starting to bloom in our front yard, because Spring makes me so very happy. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> With my age and weight loss, I am so much colder than I used to be. Yesterday at the bowling center, even though it was 80+ degrees outside I had my heavy winter coat on... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 08:40:38 EST 100 Days of Happy -- Day 2 Today I am pleased to bring you yet another picture of my adorable Bulldog, Juno. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> She brings me such joy each and every day. She is loveable, energetic, sweet and cuddly. She thinks she is a lapdog even though she weighs 50 pounds. More than my own joy, I love to see the happiness she brings to my Du. He adores Juno, as much as I do, and after the devastating loss of our Lola last summer, has brought the light... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 12:13:22 EST 100 Days of Happy My blogger friend, Anele, at<BR>014/04/can-you-have-100-happy-days.htm<BR>l?showComment=1397138129161#c520587877<BR>5861802407 wrote today about a campaign called 100 Happy Days! Here is their site, so you too can sign up! <BR> <BR> <BR> I see this as an opportunity to focus on all the wonderful things in my life, and there are many! I am grateful for so much, and plan to complete this challenge on my Facebook page, and hope... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 10:38:51 EST Mondays With Amber It is no secret, if you read any of my blogs, how crazy I am about my granddaughter Amber. She is the light of my life. The best part is--She feels the same way about me. At four years old, she is bright, energetic, funny and sweet. She reminds me so much of my own boys at that age, and that endears her even more to me. We were talking about her older brother Duncan (he's 8), and asked her what grade Duncan was in, she said "Second!" Then we asked her what grade she was in. She thought for a... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 12:37:40 EST Constant Fear I'm pretty sure I need counseling. I thought I might be starting to come to terms with Du's terminal cancer diagnosis by now, 14 months later, but I'm not. Last night I laid awake for hours, crying quietly to myself as listened to the quiet snoring of my wonderful Du next to me. I am so grateful for this time we have NOW, where things are seemingly normal, but never quite like they were when we didn't have this awful reality of his premature death facing us. <BR> <BR> We both have such wonde... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 10:37:28 EST Life With Cancer We spent from 4-6 a.m. yesterday in the ER, having Du's catheter replaced. It was clogged--this almost always happens in the middle of the night. I feel so badly for him, as it is super uncomfortable, needing to pee, but being unable to. We went to see his Urologist last month and he suggested Duane come in for a test to see if he could pee normally (without a catheter), so a week later, (after taking Flomax again for a week), we went in, they clamped off the catheter, and they injected water... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 13:55:41 EST The Mystery Envelope Received a mystery package in the mail yesterday. The envelope was addressed to me, and my name and address were also the return address, I assume to protect the sender's identity. Inside was another envelope with a 1975 postmark addressed to my dad at his Waverly address, as well as a Falls City Chamber of Commerce name sticker that had my mother's name on it as: Ferne (Simpson--maiden name) (Ramsey--she was married briefly to a soldier who was killed early in WWII) Chase (married name), and... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:11:54 EST Starting Over....Again! It's a good thing we are not limited in how many "start-overs" we can have. I figure you can have a start-over for however many days you live.....if you need it. Lately, I seem to need that many. <BR> <BR> I went to lunch last week with friends I used to work with. It's fun to get together, talk about our families, catch up with each others' lives, and re-connect. They all knew me when I weighed over 300 pounds and never judged me, the true sign of good friends. I went to the lunch with some... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 17:58:48 EST The Good, The Hopeful, The Fun The Good: The letter finally came from the doctor's office stating that my "biopsy showed no evidence of infection or pre-cancerous change." VERY GOOD NEWS indeed. I had not fretted too much, but when the doctor mentions it, there's always a little nagging bit of fear in your mind. The longer it took to hear, the better I felt however. I don't think they would make me wait over a week for news if it was indeed cancer. So all I have is an ulcer, caused by my aspirin OVER-use. I have not had an... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 20:22:07 EST