LYNZZIE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LYNZZIE LYNZZIE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Looking to others for validation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5156303 Today a pretty obvious theme of my adult life was pointed out to me - obvious yet I seem to be oblivious. I look for validation for almost every decision I make and I look for it in other people. My most frequent source of advice is my mother - she is a wise woman with her head on straight, her heart right with God, and enough common sense - well, I just wouldn't ask anyone else. I also have a handful of friends that I can count on for excellent advice - knowing they won't lie to me and in fa... Tue, 4 Dec 2012 19:16:58 EST Time for thinking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5135651 Well, it's been some 12 days of this virus and I'm definitely still not 100% better but it's a lot of progress in the past couple days. Still having some coughing, some wheezing, and some congestion - but it's getting better slowly but surely. <BR> <BR> I've had some time to think about my current "balance" - I've had a lot of time since any time not spent trying to get through work or clinicals is pretty much idle on the couch trying not to hack up a lung. Somehow this winter semester I ne... Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:02:49 EST Sitting on my sick-couch and thinking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5130709 Been sick for 8 days now. Started as a sore throat, aches, then sinus congestion, now cough. Triggering my asthma too. Had to postpone my midterm, cancel 3 clinical shifts, haven't made it to the gym for sure, and just generally frustrated! <BR> <BR> I started reading a new book, The Chemistry of Calm. I'm only a little into it but it seems really good. My counselor recommended it to me since I'm not interested in taking many medications for my anxiety. This psychiatrist explains the easy st... Sat, 10 Nov 2012 16:14:32 EST Health Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5120302 My stress is kinda WAY over the top right now. I've gotta find ways to keep it under better control. I may feel like I am but my body is starting to yell at me again and giving me signals it's not in a good mood! So i took a vacation day just because today - couldn't tell you the last time I did that! I've enjoyed a nice quiet morning and will now get to work on homework reading and such. <BR> <BR> I did have a quick health update - got my lab results back from my annual physical. <BR> <BR... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 12:57:42 EST For every path we take there's going to be twists, turns, and roadblocks... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5110957 It had officially been about a month of my intensive diet plan. Basically, in a nutshell, it's a power smoothie to replace one meal per day (usually an on-the-go meal, either breakfast before early work or dinner before early clinicals), then there's the spinach salad with chicken breast or hard-boiled egg, and then dinner kinda random depending on what I have but always home-made something. Snacks are greek yogurt, apples with natural peanut butter, and grapes. I thought I'd get bored with t... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 09:06:50 EST This is a way of life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5097802 Every change I've made over the past 4 weeks has paid off and paid off big time!! I have lost about 10lbs, I feel amazing, I get good solid sleep at night, my anxiety has diminished greatly, and frankly - I'm just proud of myself. <BR> <BR> I am 100% Gluten Free. Ok, not to the point of checking toothpaste and such like someone with Celiac disease but if it has wheat, it's not in my food. I am cooking 100% of my meals. There is almost zero eating out occurring. As I drove home at 1pm starvin... Sat, 13 Oct 2012 17:52:11 EST Exercise instead of meds?!? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5085668 So I saw a new therapist today - she's more of a counselor/life coach style professional. I loved her attitude and I hope and pray she can help me sort through all the "stuff" I have in my head. But what I wanted to share were these two things: <BR> 1) 30 min of aerobic exercise 3-4 times each week is equivalent to an antidepressant <BR> 2) 30 min of yoga 3-4 times each week is equivalent to an antidepressant <BR> <BR> To me this is HUGE. I am not one who does well with medications and often... Wed, 3 Oct 2012 19:54:58 EST A year has passed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5077584 I find it very interesting my last blog was about 1 year ago. I talked about my raw emotions, my desires to change, my mind/body/spirit, etc. Well, fast-forward a year and this time, well I think I really get it! <BR> I am allergic to tree nuts, sesame seeds, and gluten intolerant! Now those are some BIG diet changes from a year ago - from my whole life really. I fight crazy hormones requiring me to be diligent in my food choices and I'm finding working out too. I've only walked or worked out... Thu, 27 Sep 2012 20:38:32 EST Revelation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4439967 The other night I sat with my best girlfriend. It was pretty late, I was tired, and when this happens - I often let my guard down. She knew I'd been a bit off and she kinda tried to get it out of me - - well, I think she got more than she bargained for. <BR> <BR> I began talking about my eval at work. How I'd scored so highly yet was crushed by any negative feedback at all. We went from this to "i'm not good enough". Hmm, where did that come from. Quickly I began talking about 4th-5th grade ... Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:55:25 EST A Year of Growth http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4424572 I think back to last summer - I was in the best shape I'd been in years and at my lowest weight. I was in a relationship, I was "looking" good but not "feeling" good. My life wasn't what I wanted and it needed to change. This was my jump-start into my new life! <BR> <BR> Where am I now? What have I gone through to get here? <BR> Fall 2010 - Began my masters degree classes - nothing like going back to school! Lots of stress at the job but hanging in there. Big weight gain as I dealt with the ... Sat, 13 Aug 2011 12:37:44 EST Lessons Learned http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4051153 Last night I spent nearly 5 hours on the phone with a friend from work. She and I have known each other for 4 years - but suddenly, in the last month or so, we've become very close. It's like we've known each other forever and we're completely comfortable telling each other everything. It's like an instant best-friendship. I don't know why, but I do know that I believe God is behind providing this person in my life (and me in her's). We both need a lot of support right now and it's a blessing... Sun, 27 Feb 2011 10:03:43 EST Could've given up - but I'm back for more! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4011575 Hello Sparkpeople! Been too long and I feel the loss of not being on here, diligent about tracking and keeping myself in check (the button on my jeans feels the stress too!) But it's been rough - that's for sure! It's hard to take care of yourself when you just keep getting knocked down - how many times can I keep getting back up? <BR> <BR> About 4 weeks ago my asthma decided to rear it's ugly head. I hadn't had attacks like that in, well honestly, I'm pretty sure the initial attack was my w... Sat, 12 Feb 2011 10:20:40 EST Thinking back... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3804668 One year ago I was at my thinnest in years. I looked amazing quite frankly. I was also just recovering from mono. My life was a lot different. I was in a relationship, my family was perfect, my apartment gave me independence, my work was fulfilling, and I was so healthy inside and out. Then I got one shake up after another.... flash forward to now. <BR> <BR> It's the day before Thanksgiving. I'm struggling with being of a thankful mindset. There's so many people and things that I am blessed ... Wed, 24 Nov 2010 22:48:54 EST Beyond Frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3575998 Currently I'm beyond frustrated so I've decided to write a blog to get it out of my system. <BR> <BR> I had a sore throat for 6 days and finally on Monday I had a doc at work look and he said strep, no question. Not surprising since it seems to be the only thing we are diagnosing all these kids with lately. So I started my Pen-Vee K that night. I knew I had nursing school orientation on Thursday so I needed to be better. <BR> <BR> Well, flash forward to Thursday. I've done all my laundry t... Thu, 26 Aug 2010 08:42:55 EST Just Breathe.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3478102 The ordeals just keep on coming - just doesn't seem fair some days. I'm having a very hard time with my right knee. Started hurting about a month ago and it's gotten progressively worse in the past week. I can barely walk let alone do any sort of exercise. I had started walking a mile each day like my doctor recommended and bought some new workout dvds - but it's all on the back burner right now. The days I don't work I'm supposed to maintain complete rest.... So for now I'm waiting on lab a... Wed, 28 Jul 2010 10:46:10 EST Walk and Meditate - You don't need pills! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3438128 Well - that title about sums up my doctor's appointment yesterday. I went and saw a new doctor (I didn't like my current one and if you follow my blogs, you know I need a good doctor). She was internal medicine, had a little office within about 10 minutes from me, and was a tier 1 doctor on my insurance (means I pay the least amount to see her). I went through my medical history with her, told her my tales of illness and complaints, my ordeals with anxiety and heart pounding, and then let her... Fri, 16 Jul 2010 11:18:30 EST Thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3321682 There's about 500 things I should be doing right this moment, however I feel like I need to just get my thoughts out for a brief moment. I know the clock is ticking - but my mind is racing faster so it wins for the moment. <BR> <BR> I'm exhausted - I'm exhausted of trying to think about everything for everyone? Why do I always have to be queen of the world - fixing everyone's problems? When do I get "me" time and when do I not feel guilty about taking it? Those are some big questions. <BR> ... Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:59:17 EST Can I have another restart? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3292200 I'm wondering how many re-starts one person gets? I lived my life a certain way for 24 years and there's a HUGE learning curve to figure out these new, healthy habits. <BR> <BR> May was about partying (birthdays - including mine, showers, work parties, etc). It was a lot of fun, don't get me wrong, but I made a lot of poor choices and overate thanks to mindless eating. I was also really missing my grandfather at these events which made me so sad. <BR> <BR> So now it's the beginning of Jun... Wed, 2 Jun 2010 10:10:33 EST Alphabet Survey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3256726 Because I'm sitting here waiting for the rain to stop pouring outside so I can walk! <BR> <BR> If you've are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions and writing your own responses! Paste these instructions in the body of your blog. <BR> <BR> A - Age: 24 (for 2 more days!) <BR> <BR> B - Bed size: Queen <BR> <BR> C - Chore you hate: dishes <BR> <BR> D - Dog's name: Zero (rest in peace my friend) <BR> <BR> E - Essential start your day item: Decaf coffee or tea... Sat, 22 May 2010 12:04:48 EST Still Sick and Beyond Frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3231590 So back on May 4th I wrote about getting this throat/sinus infection right - well, guess what, I'm STILL sick! <BR> <BR> I took a Z-pack for antibiotics and that cured the whole throat/sinus thing up in 48 hours. But I got stuck with this laryngitis/bronchitis thing. It was bad - I could deal with the no voice thing for a few days but then as it came back it was super hoarse. I spent a week downing cough medicine every night because each time I laid down, I had an instant choking sensation a... Sat, 15 May 2010 07:00:29 EST Healthy even when I'm sick? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3193563 FINALLY! I finally feel like I've built up resources, strength, and power! I feel like I've got enough health inside of me to take on the world! Ok, not the world, but at least my little universe :) <BR> <BR> About a month ago, a nasty cold/sinus infection/throat thing spread like wildfire through the staff in the ER. Believe it or not, I did NOT get it! That's right - Ms. Sicky here actually avoided it! Then I spent time outdoors Friday and Saturday in crazy wind which made my allergies go ... Tue, 4 May 2010 12:26:20 EST Recap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3180075 So two months ago I posted this: <BR> <BR> "In the next month: <BR> ~ Begin implementing the G.I. diet <BR> ~ Re-start exercising regularly (at least 3 times per week) <BR> ~ Pack all my foods for work - buying nothing there! <BR> ~ Lose the weight I gained in the last 2 weeks (about 6lbs)" <BR> <BR> So how have I done? Well, the G.I. diet is still in process - this is a big learning curve cause I really do not eat in this manner. Definitely something I'm still interested in. I finally DID ... Fri, 30 Apr 2010 17:19:05 EST Dear Body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3155056 Dear Body, <BR> Let me begin by apologizing wholeheartedly for how I have treated you these past years. I began denying you the good nutrition encouraged to me by my parents so very long ago, I can't even pinpoint when it started. It began as a game, hiding and sneaking food for a source of control, not sure why I felt I needed it. Then it was binging to feed my emotions, which, as you know, never really worked. Even when all was well, I fed you poorly - choosing fat, grease, and preservative... Sat, 24 Apr 2010 08:53:47 EST Time to re-evaluate! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3130217 I can feel myself getting off track. I see it in my food choices, my energy, and my general well-being. I've been a bit off on my spark tracking and feeling lazy in general. Now I sit here, having just WAY overindulged in sugar, trying to satisfy a craving, and I have a terrible stomachache, no energy, and total guilt. Guilty about hurting myself. I deserve better! <BR> <BR> So time to check in with myself and get some goals back in motion! <BR> <BR> 1) TRACK EVERY DAY! No exceptions! <BR>... Sat, 17 Apr 2010 15:24:21 EST Healthy Survey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3095234 1. What did you eat for breakfast? <BR> ** Steel cut oats with small chopped apple and a drizzle of agave maple syrup <BR> <BR> 2. How much water do you drink a day? <BR> ** At least 8 cups <BR> <BR> 3. What is your favorite workout? <BR> ** Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, Biggest Loser Boot Camp <BR> <BR> 4. What is your favorite fruit? <BR> **Watermelon <BR> <BR> 5. What is your favorite vegetable? <BR> ** Baby carrots, asparagus, many more <BR> <BR> 6. How many calories do you burn a w... Thu, 8 Apr 2010 11:11:16 EST I fell and it hurt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3091735 The last few days I've been really off my game. Last week's work shifts (wed, thurs, and fri) left me utterly exhausted and emotionally depleted. My saving grace was the good foods I'd packed to bring to work - they kept me going. Saturday I spent the day literally sunk into my couch. I never made a meal - just snacked and snacked mindlessly. I know I could've turned to exercise as a better stress relief, but I didn't. Sunday and Monday were back to work - I did only fair on my food choices. ... Wed, 7 Apr 2010 14:19:12 EST Let's give it another try http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3057223 Oh the scale - how it drives me bonkers! I've been really good at not letting it control my feelings but the plateau I've been in has gotten to me. Right now I've got some big problems: <BR> 1) I was trying to control carbs and in the process made myself very weak and dizzy - this is NOT a good way to move the scale. <BR> 2) I'm hungry ALL the time right now. Not sure if it's still too few carbs or what but I'm seriously starving regularly! <BR> 3) My cravings are whacko - like seriously I co... Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:27:51 EST My ABCs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2990391 A is for Age: 24 <BR> <BR> B is for Body: Definitely a work in progress! <BR> <BR> C is for Career: Pediatric ER/Trauma Nurse <BR> <BR> D is for Dad's name: Jim <BR> <BR> E is for Essential items to bring to a party: Veggies or fruit and dip! <BR> <BR> F is for Favorite song or music: country or just about anything on the radio <BR> <BR> G is for Goof off thing to do: Facebook addiction, scrapbooking, photography <BR> <BR> H is for Hometown: Auburn Hills, MI <BR> <BR> I is for Instru... Fri, 12 Mar 2010 08:33:25 EST Like Really? Seriously? For Sure? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2988597 Honestly? Are you kidding me? For real? <BR> <BR> I've got strep throat. I mean COME ON - did I not just go through this a few months ago? The hell of October doesn't seem all that long ago. I mean, I guess if I really time-lined it out, I've been doing well - kinda. <BR> October-November was strep and mono recovery. <BR> December was a bad cough. <BR> January was fine. <BR> February was the random withdrawal off my asthma meds = bad wheezing, coughing, etc. <BR> March is already strep thro... Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:52:41 EST The scale finally agrees with me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2979269 I've been getting compliments left and right about my weight loss. My scrubs and clothes fit great. My energy is high. And yet the scale had been stuck for a couple weeks - even gained a few weeks back. <BR> <BR> But today it finally agreed with me! I stepped on and was thrilled to see myself back on track. 204 lbs! I cannot begin to imagine the last time I was 204. Had to be in early high school - maybe... <BR> <BR> Finally gave me a self-confidence boost I've been looking for! This week I... Tue, 9 Mar 2010 18:06:45 EST Goals, Plans, and Projects OH MY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2934948 Well, Metformin was a complete disaster - within 72 hours it had completely torn apart my digestive system. I know my body - I know when I react to something like that with such strength, I'm done. I react to so much, it's not even funny. So, I stopped it dead. I'm reassessing a lot of things right now. <BR> <BR> Why have I gained so much weight lately? <BR> Why am I feeling more sickly? <BR> Why is my energy so low? <BR> <BR> All of this started with the asthma medicine disaster about 1 1/... Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:31:28 EST Time for Another Restart http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2921682 I looked back yesterday and realized the past two weeks have flown by, a complete blur. I'm not sure what I've done over the past two weeks other than just "gone through the motions". I know my asthma medication shake-up really threw me off. The wheezing, shortness of breath, fatigue, weight gain, phone calls, insurance BS, etc really left me spinning and wanting to just collapse at the end of each day. <BR> <BR> Work's been ok, relatively uneventful, but people keep telling me I have a "fl... Wed, 24 Feb 2010 10:31:03 EST Can I have some ice cream pie? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2907784 First off, let me state it's 5:50am so this may or may not make sense - haha. I'm trying out some early shifts at work to see if I want to change from 11a-11p shift to the 7a-7p shift. The 5am part kinda sucks but being home at 8pm rocks! <BR> <BR> Anyways, so I got dressed for work this morning and literally had to tie my scrub pants almost beyond their capabilities for them to stay UP! I was so excited. They're relatively new (now that's kinda a bummer but oh well) and a size large and the... Sun, 21 Feb 2010 06:01:14 EST Frustrated but not surprised http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2883147 Yes, I've made tremendous progress over the past months - but I've slipped up. The gain I saw on the scale this morning was very disheartening. So close to my under 200 goal and now I'm backtracking. This is what happens when you begin to think you've got it "all under control". You can have a splurge once in awhile, but not every day. All of the sadness of the past month is coming through in my eating - my never ending appetite, my cravings of salt and chocolate, and my inability to really s... Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:53:12 EST General Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2877054 Oh the progress I've made - it's truly unbelievable! <BR> September: Initiation - joined Sparkpeople and began exploring the site. <BR> <BR> October: Sick with mono - spent the month learning about better nutrition. <BR> <BR> November: Recovery - began purchasing better foods, shopping the perimeter of the grocery store, and learned to cook some new foods. <BR> <BR> December: Nutrition Overhaul - completely changed the way I ate, implementing a lot of fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and... Sat, 13 Feb 2010 11:06:11 EST 50 Things About Me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2862684 If you've are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions and writing your own responses! Paste these instructions in the body of your blog. <BR> <BR> 1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:30am <BR> <BR> 2. How do you like your steak? medium well <BR> <BR> 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I can't remember <BR> <BR> 4. What is your favorite TV show? LOST <BR> <BR> 5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? wherever my fami... Tue, 9 Feb 2010 19:21:54 EST Waiting for the other shoe to drop - because it always will http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2820822 I knew it was too good to be true. A fantastic start to 2010. A time of health, happiness, and accomplishment. A time of decreased anxiety and panic. A time of hormonal control - or at least better control. Family was happy. Friends were happy. It was all-around good. <BR> <BR> This is my life - it gets good, and then it crashes. Yesterday morning my grandfather passed away. It was without warning, symptoms, or health problems. He just didn't wake up from the night's rest. I pray we could al... Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:44:59 EST Thinking twice before putting it in my mouth http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2810020 Today I watched the documentary Food Inc. What an eye opener. I don't think the majority of people realize what they are truly putting in their bodies when they eat. When I saw the way fast food is grown and processed - I will probably never eat it again. We're slowly poisoning our bodies and the bodies of children. 1 in 3 children born after 2000 will have early onset diabetes - 1 in 3!! Those numbers are HUGE! What are we doing to ourselves? <BR> <BR> So I headed over to my local Whole Foo... Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:20:29 EST I shall be anxious for nothing! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2798426 Sunday was one for the history books. If you haven't already figured this out, I'm a pediatric ER/Trauma nurse. I walked into work on Sunday all happy it was raining outside. See, the pattern is a rainy Sunday = a quiet ER Sunday! We all have our reasoning behind this - but all I know is I love a rainy Sunday. <BR> <BR> WELL - not so much this past Sunday. It was pouring cats and dogs and everyone was running to our ER! We saw almost 300 kids in one day. We had approx 10 codes over a span of... Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:01:37 EST Taking a step even though I can't see the end of the staircase... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2779062 Can you believe it's already mid-way through January?!? Weren't we just counting down to 2010? I'm finally remembering to write a "1" before the "0" when I write the date at work. This year has started so strong, I'm holding on as my life takes a turn in a very right direction! <BR> <BR> Today I took a big step out of my comfort zone and volunteered to lead a team on sparkpeople for an 8 week challenge (GO APRICOTS!). I think this could be exactly the motivation I need. I've been so grateful... Thu, 21 Jan 2010 20:45:37 EST Working through week one of 2010! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2705613 I can't tell you how happy I am to be kicking off 2010 in the best ways possible! Yea, I started the new year with a bit of a stomach bug, but things are better and so is my life. I've been focusing on nutrition a LOT this week. I researched out some new recipes with lots of flavor, went shopping, and over the past 2 days I've made 4 different meals. This has re-stocked my freezers with lots of new easy to grab foods. By placing 1 serving size in a container, I can quickly grab lunches and di... Wed, 6 Jan 2010 18:28:17 EST 2010 Resolutions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2658906 I made this list of resolutions during Christmas. I felt this sudden desire to really plan out a year of health and success. My last couple years have been full of injury and illness. Although I have learned and accomplished much - I feel I'm often slipping backwards. I'm choosing to share these goals for a couple different reasons. First that I might inspire another person - if this happens, it'll make my efforts even more worthwhile. Secondly, it's a way to be accountable to myself. For som... Sun, 27 Dec 2009 13:30:10 EST Suffering from lack of motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2641462 I really feel like this last week or so has been given up to cravings, temptations, and mindless eating. My activity level plummeted after such a poor outcome with my first round of exercise. I was so horribly sore and my spleen hurt so badly. I'm also dealing with a lot of fatigue left over from the mono - I'm often so tired I'm having a hard time just staying awake let alone accomplishing things. <BR> My PMS this month had me craving salt and chocolate so badly - it was an unquenchable crav... Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:47:18 EST This sore throat better be weather related! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2614102 I honestly cannot believe I woke up with a sore throat this morning!!!!! I've barely been well for a couple weeks! I'm probably blowing it out of proportion but it's extremely frustrating and is aggravating me. <BR> My guess: it's too dry in my apartment and I need to crank the humidifiers into high gear. My fear: I'm getting sick again. <BR> <BR> When you get shot down with set back after set back - it's so scary to have the silliest little thing go wrong. You become hyper aware of everyth... Sun, 6 Dec 2009 12:27:54 EST Making a Plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2607772 It's day 2 of working out - may not seem like much but to me, that's huge. I went so sedentary for so long - it feels great to be up and moving again. I've noticed in other people's blogs that making out a plan can help. So here we go: <BR> <BR> Goals: <BR> 1) Get to ideal weight of 160 pounds! <BR> 2) Look fabulous in my best friends wedding June 2010 - can you say strapless bridesmaid dress? <BR> 3) Be able to run without asthma flares or pain in my knees and ankles. <BR> 4) Look and feel ... Thu, 3 Dec 2009 15:24:57 EST Survived and Succeeded! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2600581 I can't believe today's the last shift of this 4 day stretch. This was the stretch I'd been so worried about. Not sure if I could do it. Letting my anxiety wander off into the "what if" zones I so try to avoid. Nervous my skills wouldn't be up to par. <BR> <BR> And now it's already shift 4. Sure, I've only been working 8 hour shifts instead of 12 because of restrictions from my mono, but it's still getting up, getting dressed, getting out, and being on my feet for 8 hours. I spent 7 weeks o... Tue, 1 Dec 2009 08:32:33 EST Thankfulness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2590315 I'm taking a moment out of my preparations for the day to be thankful. <BR> <BR> I'm thankful for life. As often as I whine, complain, and am frustrated - I have a beating heart and air in my lungs. I have a brain that's wide awake and a mind that's open to new opportunities. <BR> <BR> I'm thankful for work. I may make remarks about "having" to go to work - but I am so very grateful to have a job. Not only do I have just a job, but I have a job that allows me to help save the lives of child... Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:51:30 EST There's not much that feels better. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2584129 Today I ventured out in the afternoon in preparation for sling-shotting back into work tomorrow. My Mom recommended malling as a way not to spend money necessarily but to be exposed to tons of people, noises, music, smells, temperature changes, etc. Try to help my under-stimulated mind get back into things. <BR> When I left work 7 weeks ago, I was so very sick. My heart would pound all shift and I'd shake. I could barely eat and felt weak all the time. I'd drink 8-12 apple juices a shift just... Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:42:19 EST Getting ready to get back to life! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2580847 Today's about getting my head in the game. I've got a lot to wrap my head around before I'm ready to head back to work on Tuesday. Because it's not just Tuesday - it's a big step in a good direction! It's about going back with a good head on my shoulders, nutrition in my body, and toxins and negative thoughts behind me. It's about starting back with a clean and excellent environment to come home to, about not letting the little things hurt me or bother me, and it's about doing what I do best ... Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:13:23 EST Quick Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2574244 I'm about to get moving and getting my day in full swing but wanted to put an update up for those who were interested. <BR> <BR> At the doctor's yesterday I got some real answers into what may be causing my severe hormonal and anxiety reactions during my PMS times. <BR> <BR> 1) Polycyctic Ovarian Syndrome combined with high testosterone levels = these two together explain my frequent ovarian pain, my difficulties with losing weight, my feelings of blood sugar dropping despite not being diab... Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:56:36 EST