LYNNARDB72's SparkPeople Blog LYNNARDB72's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Alkaline Water Not The Cure! <BR> This week has been draining. Emotionally, physically and mentally. I mean whew work wiped me out. Early long days, light workouts. But its done and now I can enjoy the weekend and my family. <BR> <BR> My blood pressure has been high all week. Here's what happened... <BR> I was drinking my Alkaline Kangan Water. (PH 9.5 for those smarty pants that get this stuff). Anyhow I was drinking it faithfully about a full 2 quarts + a day. Drinking my water that is supposed to be super hea... Sat, 19 Apr 2014 11:28:39 EST Easier said that done? Well being on task is so much easier than done! I am doing better however. I am tracking my food even when it's not the healthiest choices. I'm drinking my special Kagan water that my PT wants me to drink. I'm exercising (not yesterday though because I had a massage teee he he) <BR> <BR> The weight, has not dropped at all! I'm actually up from last Thursday. Hey no worries though... Ask me if I'm discouraged? NOPE! I feel healthier and my jeans are fitting better and the sun is out s... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 09:13:38 EST Down time is over Down time is done.... Oh my I hate to say it I just loved having time to myself. I miss my kid-o but darn I loved time to myself! I'm prepping because my kid is going to come home and there is going to be so much love one won't be able handle it! <BR> <BR> I'm working pretty well on keeping on task. I'm going to make a huge effort because I am so stiff from yesterdays workout that I can hardly breathe. Whew! Why goof that kind of physical fitness up with bad food. Tue, 8 Apr 2014 16:30:21 EST Down time Everyday and every weekend I beg and plead for time to myself. <BR> <BR> Well I have it! I am so enjoying not having a schedule. Not answering to anyone,not having any noise around the house, having it quiet and being a lone for a bit is really great. I'm going to focus on drinking some water, doing some laundry and taking care of me for 2 more days. Then my kid-o will be home and life will return to normal. <BR> <BR> My husband is about the sweetest man that has walked the face of the ... Sun, 6 Apr 2014 12:24:01 EST Positive Saturday Right on track.... <BR> Thats where I'm at right this minute! Yeee Haw, <BR> <BR> I chose rest over workout yesterday to too keep the piece with everyone in my house. I took my rest, we went out and I ate a LOT of food not healthy but I ate it and loved every bite. Today I will eat better. <BR> <BR> I am also drinking my magic water the PT gave me. Lets see what this does. My husband is dead set on going someplace now.... ACK Does he not get it that we are exhausted and don't want ... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 14:48:03 EST Buzzed... Let's start by asking a question... <BR> <BR> Have you ever worked out so hard that you don't think you can go one more step but then all of a sudden get a high and it seems like you can breath easier and you just keep going with it? After the extreme fatigue you just smile and think to your "yea Baby! That's what I'm talking about". <BR> <BR> Ah, that hard of a work out is exactly what I've been doing for the past 4 days. Whoa, I'm feeling it today the fatigue has set in but I think I'm... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 10:10:42 EST Called Out.... How embarassing Well, I've survived my huge emotional breakdown yesterday. <BR> <BR> Oh yea, after having an awful day at work I went on to do my workout. It was one of the most meaningful workouts I've had in years. Meaningful not in the ways of exercise but emotionally. It's something when I'm talking & working out then BOOM I breakdown and start crying. All I could think was toughen up... get your self together.... Knock it off! It was brief but it was full blown depressed tears. I got them out and... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 15:28:17 EST Wavering - I'm here aren't I? <BR> As things spiral out of control on a personal level I continue to struggle to lose/keep weight off but damn it I'm here, I've worked out..... Do I really "got this?" ugh.... <BR> <BR> It's Saturday and I'm probably bitter like I normally am on Saturday mornings. LOL This too shall pass...... <BR> <BR> Being bitter and knowing it is part of the real battle right? <BR> <BR> There that's all my positives and silver lining for the day. Sat, 22 Feb 2014 09:39:18 EST Oopsie Oopsie, that's really all I can say. I have to do some back tracking food tracking... I've taken leave from my senses this week. But it's Saturday and I'm all pumped up for the new up coming week. I have my cook books out and my husband back! <BR> <BR> It's funny he has no idea how much I really like having him around even though it's not like he's a mover and a shaker when it comes to home chores but just having him around is so nice. <BR> <BR> So where I failed this week.... <BR> Hig... Sat, 8 Feb 2014 10:36:10 EST Monday Montra..... I must I must I must <BR> <BR> I got this. (I hope) <BR> <BR> Getting ready to log my food for the day but I'm not sure that I've stayed in my calorie count but I am highly positive I am satisfied and happy. <BR> <BR> I am going to talk myself into this if nothing else. <BR> <BR> I'm writing, I'm tracking, writing, trying.... trying trying I got this. <BR> <BR> No OT today, healthy hearty dinner. What more could I really ask for right? <BR> Tomorrow morning my first goal of the day wil... Mon, 27 Jan 2014 21:43:59 EST Pattern... break the pattern Pattern... work... eat... work... eat... grumpy pants... work... work.... grumpy pants.... eat... miserable! <BR> <BR> Okay that was last week. I worked 14.5 hours of overtime which is huge for me since I have a labor intensive job at times. This week is going to go a little something like this... "oh, 8 hrs done and I've taken break and lunch, time to go!" <BR> <BR> Today is Sunday and looking back to last Saturday I had resentment. I had the same resentment this Saturday that I had las... Sun, 26 Jan 2014 15:15:03 EST Seahawk Sunday!!!! Sunday - The first day of the week for me! I have decided if I start my week on Sunday I start and end my week with a day off! Nice huh? <BR> <BR> Right side of the bed, that's where I woke up today. Oh man it feels good too! I woke feeling refreshed and happy. I had 4 hours to myself last night and I'll tell you I felt a little weird about it! I felt a little lost but I recovered just fine. <BR> <BR> I woke up at the 5am alarm and hit the gym. I hit the gym and I hit it hard! Whe... Sun, 19 Jan 2014 10:34:13 EST Built up resentment Saturday - Huh.... I think I'm agitated this morning. I am in no way shape or form in the best mood possible. Let me vent it out so I can move on with a happy pleasant day. <BR> <BR> 1. I woke up at 4 and thought I should head to the gym, ended up going back to sleep and waking up a little later than I should. <BR> <BR> 2. Got a late start at the gym. But did strenght training and 10 min of cardio. I got a text saying "I had to go." That means my work out had to be cut short because o... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 13:27:16 EST Guess what I bought Big sigh of reliefe. The work week is all done! Bring on the weekend! <BR> <BR> Before I give you a typical rant and rave for the day I have BIG news!!! Are you ready? <BR> <BR> I bought a scale. Not a food scale but a person scale! Can you believe I've never had a scale at home through my whole journey? I think it's finally time so I broke down and bought one. I got a really nice one at Costco that was on sale for $14. Well I suppose it's not that nice because it had the right weigh... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 01:01:40 EST Thirsty Thursday Finally.... I get to go out tonight! Woo Whoo... <BR> <BR> I am trying to prepare myself for a controlled amount of nachos and water. OH man not sure if I can do it successfully but I sure am going to try. This is going to be super hard. HA HA joke is I'm going to order lettuce and water. My sister says then I will have to talk about working out. LOL That will kill people, or me cuz they'll kill me! HA HAHA <BR> <BR> Today I want to talk about my delicious lunch. <BR> I had a portabel... Thu, 16 Jan 2014 15:21:30 EST Where is the magic? I'm thinking I am going to magically drop weight like a rock in the near future. I have been doing good???? but apparently not, because dang if I haven't shed even 1 pound this week. We are half way through the week and I haven't removed anything. You know how hard it's going to be to reach my 20lb March 1 goal? UGH! Must concentrate. <BR> <BR> Now as I concentrate on my goal I have to really pull it together. I had an invite from my friends to go out tomorrow night. I was so excited ... Wed, 15 Jan 2014 19:21:41 EST How could it go so wrong? Imagine this.... I wake up to my most favorite song in the whole world. (I want it played at my funeral, it's Duran Duran) Then I lay there and think I could get up and get cardio done or I can go into work early to get my billling done then leave early and be able to make dinner without any rush since I have workout. <BR> <BR> I choose work.... Go to work, hop on the scale thinking about how good I did by working out this weekend and how I actually tracked my food and how proud I was of it... Mon, 13 Jan 2014 18:21:23 EST My house makes me hungry As I finish out my Friday work day I come home and realize I am immediately hungry. Why is that? <BR> <BR> Can a house make you hungry I'm guessing yes....ha ha ha Because it can't be all in my head can it? Nooooo ha ha <BR> <BR> Well besides having a big snack when I got home today it's gone pretty well. I made it through work without any snags. <BR> <BR> NO worries then right? <BR> <BR> Negatives for today as of 3:30pm <BR> I didn't get up and work out today before work <BR> I ate t... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 18:40:14 EST I see the light at the end of the week Okay almost to the end of the week. Thank god! <BR> <BR> Today, was successful. I ate well and I exercised hard... Tomorrow I'll probably be hungry and tired. I'm sure that equals bitchy. ha ha <BR> <BR> Today I was frozen at work. I know it was chilly in the shop but my only hope was that I was losing weight. HA Sometimes I tell myself when I get cold it's because I am burning calories... burn baby burn. I also had to remind myself that it's okay to be hungry. I have a feeling that I'... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 23:13:02 EST Hump Day Do you know what day it is??? Come on??? What day is it???? I'll tell you it's HUMP DAY!!! Middle of the week and Right on track. You read that right, I am currently right on track. <BR> <BR> So far we've eaten at home as I had requested. I've made pretty healthy dinners so I'm pleased with it. I've even drank my water daily. OVER my required 8 cups... I've been drinking like a camel. <BR> <BR> So I did pretty well on my "snacks" today. cutting everything down little at a time. ... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 22:50:14 EST Perspective.... Quiet time.... <BR> All I really want is an hour to myself. Can I just have that? <BR> <BR> Back to my mom.... If she sees my light on she's immediately in my living room wanting to visit. ACK! Not what I so choose to have happen. I just want some space sometimes. <BR> <BR> I thought I did good yesterday but once I added up my day I didn't do so great. Scary thing is I've eaten a lot less that I have been before so that's a good thing. <BR> <BR> My supportive husband is on board with ... Sat, 4 Jan 2014 10:23:12 EST Here it is in a nut shell - Rememeber to re-read daily I had a fantastic day yesterday. <BR> <BR> I was rested and spent the day with my family. We had a super time that's for sure! <BR> We went and did the pottery painting. Great fun come to find out for the whole family. Right up until the lady working asked us to leave cuz she was puking and had the flu. <BR> After that I went to workout and stubbed my broken toe. Thought I was going to die! <BR> <BR> From there I came home and the root to a lot of my stress was sitting in my kitchen. ... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 13:06:42 EST Pro vs Con.... Pros win Let's talk. <BR> <BR> Negative: <BR> I ate over my calories <BR> I did not drink my water <BR> <BR> <BR> Positives <BR> I worked out for 30 minutes <BR> I ate a little more healthy than I have over the last couple months <BR> I did drink a little water <BR> I had a nice quiet time today <BR> I had a great day with my family! <BR> <BR> Looks like the positives out weigh the negatives so it's a win for the day. Wed, 1 Jan 2014 22:18:41 EST Day 1 - at the end of 2013 Sad day when you have to re-lose the weight!! <BR> <BR> Downward spiral needs to stop today. Here's how it happens.... <BR> May... 5k run foot got infected with staff and took me out of working out for a month. <BR> June - July - Lazy <BR> August - to much work <BR> September - Sick <BR> October - VACATION - Sick <BR> November - Sick <BR> December - Broken toe!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Today - No excuse I did my cardio this morning so that's good. Now today I'm going to log my stuff even though I k... Fri, 27 Dec 2013 10:54:53 EST checking in! Every excuse in the book is what I had this afternoon after work on why not to workout. Which one did I pick to to listen to???? NONE! Whoo who!!! I did it. Thought I was going to die again but I did it! <BR> <BR> I did over eat when I was cooking dinner but oops one thing at a time right? At least I worked out and my over snacking was healthier food than it has been for the past couple of months. I snacked on chicken. Not to bad. <BR> <BR> I tried on my pants for Friday night...WAY t... Wed, 13 Nov 2013 22:50:53 EST Good news... Bad news... Okay today... Today I am heavier than I have been in YEARS! ACK! WTF is wrong with me. <BR> <BR> Today I reminded myself I can only control myself and my own actions. <BR> Today I'm not going to eat my emotions. If I do I'm only going to create more emotion. <BR> <BR> Today I have drank water....Lots and lots of water. <BR> Today I have worked out... thought I was going to die <BR> Today I have planned and cooked dinner for my family. <BR> Today I made a sensible breakfast for tomorrow. <... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 18:36:53 EST On the mend??? On the mend? I'm actually feeling a tad bit better today. I can't believe it, I feel like I might be able to make it. Worked out today, feel rejuvenated, I actually have a goal today. My goal is I am going to wash my lettuce, go grocery shopping, and eat an apple today. Talk about small pathetic steps. lol <BR> <BR> I had to tweet How did I catch my holiday pudge before the holidays? <BR> <BR> ACK!!!!! Mon, 11 Nov 2013 11:23:52 EST Cold & Flu Okay seriously the cold and flu season hasn't even really started yet it's bringing me down. This cold is about to kill me. It's interupting my workout, my mental state and everything I stand for. <BR> <BR> ACK! it's been a month already! <BR> Staying positive. I'm going to try and work the cold right out of myself! :-) <BR> Wed, 30 Oct 2013 13:44:38 EST Disaster! What do you do when you are fat and need motivation? You cook at home all week, then you go see your trainer. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I think I tracked all my food. I believe some almonds slipped through my mouth without getting tracked. <BR> <BR> Today I was grazing in front of the fridge before I knew it I know I had eaten a good 600 calories. DISASTER. <BR> I started cooking dinner.... Then got dressed and am getting ready to head to my trainer for an ass kicking! Oh how I am going to ... Thu, 24 Oct 2013 18:26:38 EST Crack the excuse Okay so reading the book didn't help. <BR> Honestly, you've got to want it... AndI think I want it again. <BR> <BR> Let's crack this excuse: <BR> 1. Sick... still coughing and sick. <BR> <BR> So get some rest, do a little something. Something is always better than nothing. <BR> Toughen up already! <BR> The cold will go away if you get moving. <BR> Check back tomorrow. Tue, 22 Oct 2013 18:38:55 EST refreshing ideas Refreshing what I already know.... <BR> <BR> Write it down. LOG LOG LOG.... <BR> Reading Jillian Micheals book. Refreshing what I already know... <BR> <BR> Mon, 9 Sep 2013 16:59:56 EST Breif! Ah.... Here is where I will find my sanity and bring it back together for me.... <BR> <BR> No need to write, we all know what I would say. Just give me some time and I'll get it together. Wed, 21 Aug 2013 23:43:10 EST Is it will? Determination? or Dedication today? Have you ever looked in the mirror and said "I look FANTASTIC!" and meant it? - yea me neither. I almost did today! <BR> <BR> Today I did see my all time lowest weight ever on the scale. OMG! Am I celebrating? NO, because I've been in a very controlled atmosphere and the weekend is fast approaching so I'm afraid I'll go nuts. You know the little saying "Oh this won't hurt". <BR> <BR> I have a deal with my trainer this week... This week we are supposed to eat what she calls "Lean" for 3... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 15:03:20 EST Reality bites! When you hear devastating news, well okay not devastating but bothersome what do you do? I wanted to eat THANK GOD there were people around and I couldn't. I did use my depressed state this morning for an excuse to not workout. But I was still super sore from yesterday's work out so I figured it's a wash. <BR> <BR> Back to bad news.... Bad news... had me really down. Put me in a bad place mentally. Here is the only way I felt I could describe it."Someone has just put a noose around my ... Wed, 10 Jul 2013 19:14:24 EST Coddeling my excueses Embracing my excuses. I have hugged and coddled each excuse I can think of for the past couple of weeks. I have thought about it and here's my top 3 .... <BR> 1. I am depressed my best friend of 30 years is in a phase where I'm not even a blip of importance on her radar. <BR> 2. I am mad... I am mad at my mom for being older, over weight, out of shape and acting like she can't do a thing for herself while recovering from foot surgery. <BR> 3. I am even more mad that my sister has done N... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 00:39:33 EST raising questions Why is it that when a person has a weight problem we know what we need to do, we know what we should be doing but yet I'mvery busy doing all the things I shouldn't do. <BR> <BR> raising questions in my mind... <BR> 1. Is it I don't want to succeed? <BR> 2. Am I afraid to succeed? <BR> 3. Have my friends defeated me? <BR> 4. Why would I choose now to give up? <BR> <BR> I think these are the things I need to consider and move past. Easier said than done!!! Sun, 7 Jul 2013 11:00:27 EST Repeat Offender! Guess what? Yep I'm up in weight again! So of course here I am pleading to myself to get my stuff back on track and actually follow my plans and healthy choice beliefs! Is that so hard to do? AHHHHHH yea it is! <BR> <BR> Okay so July 1.... <BR> today's goal <BR> Show up emotionally and physically! <BR> log my food for 1 day. Get the reality slap of how much Im really eating, going to be embarrassing so get ready! <BR> <BR> I leaving this blog entry so I can log my food....My awful food... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 18:24:56 EST Spam then workout? It's wrong! Saturday, great day for a long workout. <BR> However I've been remembering the saying I read "Lose weight in the kitchen, get fit in the gym." Hmmm I'm fit as a fiddle! LOL <BR> <BR> So today I hit the gym, I lifted weights, I biked, then I came home and snuggled played dolls, had 1 slice of spam then did my 30 day shred. ACK! It's wrong that I had a slice of spam before my workout but I couldn't resist. <BR> <BR> Here's my thought for the day "If I workout this morning I will have much ... Sat, 11 May 2013 11:29:39 EST Just checkin in Hi! <BR> Little update. I have hit the magic number of 41. <BR> Yep 41 years old loving life. <BR> Feeling good, having good days and fat days but dealing. <BR> <BR> Now, I've finished my 12 week challenge and put myself on a new one. Yea kind of silly but I'm on a roll so why not right? <BR> <BR> I have a goal list... Laminated in fact! :-) I have a meal plan I'm trying to follow at least 3 times a week and it's laminated also. <BR> <BR> I'm living with my reality stick that I've be... Sat, 4 May 2013 11:39:28 EST Weight Loss Fibs! Let me start with this... I call BS on the saying "I don't eat enough calories." <BR> <BR> I have (on my own come up with this) "If your not eating enough calories you'd be really really skinny eventually." <BR> <BR> I have a friend here at work that is starting to watch her weight and she claims she can not get to her 1200 calories a day. THEN when she sychncs her pedometer to her calorie program she has even more calories she should have eaten because she's moved around so much. WTH??... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:29:07 EST Good Stuff happening. Good Stuff happening.... <BR> <BR> Started some good stuff this weekend. I started a 30 day shred DVD of Jillian Micheals. LOVIN IT! It goes so dang fast. It's only 20 minutes long and wow I can do anything for 20 minutes. I am adding it in with my other workouts. I figure I'm getting this fat off, somehow! <BR> <BR> My big challenge that I was in is ending in a big disappointment! HUGE disappointment but in a good way. I am now going to move forward on this 30 day shred challenge. ... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:09:53 EST Maximized my life! Thanks Jillian!!! I Matter.... I can be the most AWESOME me there ever could be and it's okay! It's okay for me to succeed. <BR> <BR> This is what I learned. <BR> <BR> Thank You Jillian Micheals! She ROCKS! Her show Maximize your Life is an amazing show and could really be life changing. <BR> <BR> I don't know that I've ever had someone tell me I matter, I am awesome and it's okay for me to succeed. Very powerful if you ask me. I'm taking this with me today. :-) <BR> <BR> Next on the list of educatio... Fri, 12 Apr 2013 09:35:54 EST Are you kidding me? Looking back at last entry I have to say... "Hey Big guy, REALLY are you kidding me?" <BR> <BR> So the fantastic cardiologist is truly fantastic, however she limited my exercise for over a month now... I have switched BP pills around but I have been required to slow down my workouts. LOL ALL during my big challenge. ha ha ha Figures huh? Challenge is going nowhere! ;-( <BR> <BR> Last week I did great on my calories this weekend over the holiday/birthday/fun with my sis.... NOT good! It'... Wed, 3 Apr 2013 10:15:06 EST Finally an answer! Monday... I made it! I have stayed in my calorie counts as long as I can get to bed without eating anything I am about at half of my calories. VERY proud! <BR> <BR> Today I got answers. I went to a cardiologist for my high blood pressure or shall I say over medicated pressure that almost makes it to low. I got answers and validated by the doctor. I was so happy. It seemed as though a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. This doctor is going to help me get past my tiredness, numb fa... Mon, 11 Feb 2013 23:16:02 EST Sunday Sunday,,, Making it through the weekend. I'm getting there! <BR> <BR> I went to a a party and fessed up to joining my challenge yesterday to my friends. Do you ever feel like you have friends but yet very alone? I feel alone. I feel as though my best friend from the past 30 years is my biggest sabaoure. I feel as though she's so pitted against me losing weight. I feel like she's like Yea what ever. it felt like when one friend set me down and said "you know all your weight is coming back." T... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 12:45:13 EST 12 week challenge support group Side note on this 12 week body challenge. <BR> <BR> I am scared to death to do it but I'm going to try. <BR> I don't know that I ever want to see my before/after pictures <BR> I didn't want to tell anyone but my husband & sister <BR> <BR> I was trying to talk my friend into doing it because it is just her type of thing. But instead I was so disguested with myself on Monday after Super Bowl I signed myself up for the challenge. <BR> <BR> I wasn't going to tell my friends because I don't wa... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 12:13:08 EST Roller Coaster Week Hard week. Emotional week. Discovery week. <BR> <BR> So Monday was the day I signed up for my 12 week body challenge. Read next entry about nerves on it. <BR> <BR> Tuesday was the day I really regretted it and felt sad and scared then better. <BR> <BR> Wednesday was the mortifing day where I had to go get before pictures. It was AWFUL! It felt terrible and I hated every second of it. I can't lie here where no one knows me. It felt so unnatural to pose with my gut out and all my chub... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 12:04:16 EST Done deal Done deal...Signed Sealed and almost delivered. <BR> <BR> I showed up early to my trainer & got measured. Wednesday I go in for my pictures. Now I've done these before and it's not fun but it's a necessary evil. Ack! <BR> <BR> I confided in my husband and sister that I joined this crazy challenge. My husband was very intrigued that I was willing to do this. He knows how I don't do well at these things but he seems very supportive. My trainer was THRILLED I decided to commit. Tomorrow ... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 00:10:08 EST Confronting Demons Scaredy Cat... That's what I feel like. I actually feel anxiety today, like nautious anxiety. Not sure what happened but I feel it, well I know what happened. <BR> <BR> I woke up today, the day after Super Bowl with a major food belly, Bloated, out of breath, feeling gross... Everything I hate about being over weight. I got to work and felt just as bad if not worse. It wasn't fading away like it normally does. It was hanging on. <BR> <BR> While I was working I was re-capping my conve... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 15:21:15 EST Effort is where it's at. Effort. It is a rare art form for me these days. I think I'm trying but then poof Ive over indulged and there's no turning back. Once it's in you it's too late right? <BR> <BR> I am so trying my very best this week. I have learned some things this week so far and it's only Tuesday.... If you don't take the first bite you won't have any problems. That is going to be my motto tomorrow. If I don't take the first bite I won't have a problem. No problems...No first out of control bite. <BR>... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:24:46 EST