LUNATIFF's SparkPeople Blog LUNATIFF's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community It's been a while According to my page I haven't made a blog entry since 2011. That's when things started to fall apart. First the pain started, then the motivation was lost, the water and eating went back to the way they'd always been and I ultimately ended up gaining back all the weight I'd lost and then some landing me at 178. I've hidden in the background of this site for all this time; collecting points, occasionally checking into my teams, and liking friend's posts. I was embarrassed by all I had lost, e... Mon, 3 Mar 2014 17:08:17 EST Motivation Lost It's been a long time since I made a blog post. I'd love to give an update on my amazing weight loss and success but really I've been hiding from the disappointment and sense of failure I have. Many months ago I developed a pain in the arch of my foot when I ran or when I walked or really anytime. Being unable to go to the doctor I did all I could to heal and get back into it. Unfortunately my foot took longer to heal than I had hoped and I started to lose my progress and slowly the weight st... Mon, 26 Sep 2011 09:47:15 EST Pain, worry, and looking on the bright side A few weeks ago during my run I had some pain and discomfort in my right foot. Right on the side below my ankle bone was hurting. It was the kind of pain that only really bothers you during exercise and isn't constant. I tried to focus on my form, posture, and stride. I did everything I could think of to alleviate the discomfort. I can't even really call it pain just irritating and definitely noticeable while running. So anyway I took some time off to make sure I didn't really injure myself a... Sun, 24 Apr 2011 18:30:05 EST Alternative to my morning run Normally I go out and run on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but today was different. Today I had to change some things up in order to get in my exercise and still take care of my responsibilities. Today I decided to try something new. Down the street (about a mile away) is a very nice city park. There is a playground, bathroom facilities, baseball field, swimming pool, and even a splash park. A nice typical park with one added feature and that is a walking trail complete with a couple good ... Wed, 20 Apr 2011 16:16:11 EST Life without running and my progress (with pics I hope) Last Monday along with the fear and stress of my daughter being in the hospital I realized I was having some discomfort during my run. On the inside of my right foot from the instep up to the ankle (there's a little meaty part that sticks out) I was having some pain. Well it wasn't pain so much as discomfort. I could keep running (and I did) but it never let up and got steadily worse. I wasn't able to run on Wednesday because I was with my daughter and watching my granddaughter but when I ran... Mon, 4 Apr 2011 23:45:58 EST Update on my little girl My baby girl came home on Wednesday and its been good having her back. She has a long road to recovery but thankfully should be okay. In order to keep the infection from returning the wound has to be left open so she has a gaping hole in her upper right arm. She has been fitted with a wound vac which basically sucks out any fluids that start to build in the wound. We call it her leech but basically it's a vacuum that is attached to the wound itself and can be quite painful for her. I'm so hap... Fri, 1 Apr 2011 23:22:48 EST My Poor Baby Okay so its been a while since I've blogged because this month has been stressful and I didn't want to complain. A lot of things out of my control have been going on but this weekend is the worse. My daughter had a swollen red area on her upper arm and I kept telling her to go to the doctor. She's 19 and thinks that she is fine no matter what and unfortunately I can't make her do anything anymore. But as the week has gone on the area has gotten larger and was warm to the touch, she couldn't m... Sat, 26 Mar 2011 22:29:13 EST Lunatiff's A-Z A to Z SURVEY <BR> <BR> A. Age: 35 <BR> <BR> B. Bed size: Queen (I think might be a full for all I know) <BR> <BR> C. Chore you dislike: cooking <BR> <BR> D. Dogs: I like medium or big dogs. I used to have an Australian Shepard and would be more than happy to have one again. <BR> <BR> E. Essential start to your day: Breakfast and a Dt. Dr. Pepper <BR> <BR> F. Favorite color: Blue <BR> <BR> G. Gold or silver: Gold <BR> <BR> H. Height: 5’ 5" (and a 1/2 ;) ) <BR> <BR> I. Instruments y... Sat, 5 Mar 2011 17:08:08 EST Mind Games Running is a mind game. One where if you believe you can then you will but if there is any doubt you'll fail miserably. Failure hmm well that's a strong word. More like not being able to live up to your full potential or even accomplish what's been done before. This is the category I've been in for weeks. I thought after making it through my 5K I'd be able to get past this mental issue I've been having. I think I did wonderfully in the race but before and even after I haven't been able to per... Fri, 4 Mar 2011 21:14:31 EST Race with Advocare! My first 5K!! November 20th I made the sudden decision to quit smoking. I had smoked for 23 years and had never really wanted to quit but for some reason I went to my mom and asked her to buy me the patch. When my dad went to the store I sat outside and smoked my last cigarette. Two weeks later on December 6 I started the C25K program. I had never had a desire to run or really do any exercising. It was strange like I had been snatched by some aliens or something. But as I walked out of the house for my fir... Sun, 27 Feb 2011 23:04:43 EST Feeling Good Well I have to admit quitting was the best thing I've ever done. I quit trying to push myself too hard and have gone back to enjoying my runs. I still have goals of course and today was to run week 6 day 1 twice. Well it's interval training so its not all running but still counts. I left the house pretty confident although a little worried about it being too hot (got up to the 80s here in Austin today) so I drank plenty of water before I left. Hmm not exactly the best idea. I got down the str... Tue, 22 Feb 2011 00:20:27 EST I quit! That's it I can't take it anymore. I'm so tired of pretending to be something that I'm not. I'm tired of forcing myself to reach impossible goals. I'm done with this. I just can't do it anymore and I quit!!! One of my friends says to be positive and to make that a goal well I'm positive that this is it I am done. I quit!! <BR> <BR> I quit beating myself up for not being perfect. I quit putting myself down anytime I don't reach a goal. That's it I'm done trying to force myself to be a robot w... Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:21:09 EST Acceptance So far this week has not been a good one. I got in a big fight with my mom on Monday and have had a headache ever since. I'm not sleeping well and I am in a bad mood. So today I figured the best therapy for this foul mood and headache would be to run my W8D2. I failed. I knew I was feeling bad with the headache and part of my mood is feeling like a failure. There are many things in my life that have made me feel like a failure and I won't take all night boring you with the details but not mak... Wed, 16 Feb 2011 23:37:54 EST Spreading the Spark and Running Thoughts So its no secret that I'm single and actually quite happy about it but I still had a Valentine. My sister called me Saturday evening and asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her on Sunday and be her Valentine. I said sure and so we went to Red Lobster on Sunday. I was quite excited for the broiled lobster tail and I always love their broccoli. Anyway my sister decided to order the wood grilled shrimp bruchetta. I know from past experience this is delicious but I was pretty sure it wasn't goo... Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:59:23 EST Laugh or Cry Today was one of those days where I could either let things get to me or just look at the bright side and enjoy. It was one of those laugh or cry days. First let me tell you I am NOT a morning person. Well my son had a therapy appointment at 8 so I had to leave the house no later than 7:30 to get over to another city where his appointment was. I left the house and all the windows were covered in ice. Needless to say I had to wait to be able to see out of my windows before I could drive. Okay ... Sat, 12 Feb 2011 01:05:59 EST I feel guilty Not because I have cheated on my diet or because I haven't exercised as much as I want or should not even for taking a couple days off to rest while sick. I feel guilty for all the years I have spent eating junk in front of my children. Now mind you my children are not anywhere near overweight. In fact, two are at a perfect weight for their heights and the other well lets say he could stand to gain a few pounds. He's always been small though. In fact my tiny little son is the main source of m... Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:43:08 EST Body needs rest but mind is ready It is always difficult when your mind and body can't agree. Fighting this cold totally sucks. I've hung out in bed all day emptying out my DVR and playing on my laptop. All the while I listen to the wind picking up and thinking about how if the weather turns bad there's no way I'll get my run in tomorrow. My mind is clear and eager to get up and move but my head gets dizzy and my body is weak. I want to run, I want to exercise but I need to rest so here I sit under the covers watching Wipeout... Tue, 8 Feb 2011 19:58:02 EST Ugh Just a quick update on W7D1. I woke up feeling pretty good today and figured I must have done a good job taking medicine and getting to bed early last night. I had a slight cough but nothing I couldn't handle. I took some Dayquil to continue staving off the coming cold and went ahead to do my daily workout. My head felt a little stuffy while doing my warm up but I figured I'd just go out and run and see how it went. I warmed up and went out. It was nice and in the mid 40's so I just had my ru... Mon, 7 Feb 2011 22:13:49 EST Year of the Rabbit Today my family and I went to Austin's China Town to ring in the Chinese New Year and the Year of the Rabbit. We had a late start but I figured it'd be okay but they were already started by the time we got there. There was a major crowd and we couldn't see anything. I was disappointed mostly because my 3 year old couldn't see the dragon dancers. You see his favorite show is Ni Hao Kai-Lan on Nick Jr. For those of you not familiar with preschooler programming this is a show about a little Chin... Sun, 6 Feb 2011 22:20:22 EST Facing the Real World I can be easy to hide in the house and eat things labeled low fat and low cal. Its easy to buy cookbooks and find recipes online to prepare that will meet your goals. But this is not reality. You can't stay in the house forever and eat the same things day in and day out. I for one could never keep that up. That kind of "diet" causes resentment and its impossible to keep up. Eventually an event will come up that involves food whether its a birthday party, wedding, family outing, or even a spor... Sat, 5 Feb 2011 23:51:42 EST Failing on Food For the past month I've been so good eating low fat, low cal, good protein, and not sacrificing. Well I didn't think I was sacrficing. I still had McDonald's occassionally although I haven't had a quarter pounder or mushroom swiss angus burger and I still have my chai tea latter (non fat of course) I have even found a way to keep pizza in my meal plans (thanks to Hungry Girl). For some reason this week I've struggled. I have not gone over or under but it seems to be getting harder. I don't wa... Sat, 5 Feb 2011 00:08:58 EST Reflections for my first month... I started with Spark on the 3rd of January and here it is the 2nd of February so officially 31 days. In this last 31 days I have drank at least 8 glasses of water each day which is up from maybe 8 glasses a year and I only have a few Diet Dr. Peppers a day rather than a few 1 liters a day. I have been 99% perfect on my nutritional goals however, on one day I was under by 3 carbs and few days ago I was over 3 carbs so I guess it all balanced out in the end. For the most part I think I have be... Thu, 3 Feb 2011 00:04:46 EST Motivated? Well Kind Of... My last two runs were amazingly awesome. I made it through W5D3 and a 20 minute straight run and on Monday was great since I was able to start working on my different paces. I have also officially signed up for my first 5K. It is on the 27th so I will have just finished the program but I'm not worried about it I'm sure I can do it even if I don't get a great time. Finishing is what's important. I'm totally excited about it and can't wait. <BR> <BR> So why am I only kind of motivated? The we... Tue, 1 Feb 2011 21:59:24 EST My Life...Complaining or Bragging? The last thing I want to do is irritate people with my constant complaining and negative attitude. I've been told my entire life that I have a defeatist attitude even when I felt particularly positive. I'm not sure why this is or if I come across as complaining even when I don't think I am. I guess I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to say and what I am not. I try to live by the the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" motto but then I get accused of keeping my... Sun, 30 Jan 2011 21:18:24 EST W5D3 (I DID IT!!!) The dreaded 20 minute run. The impossible day without any walking intervals. The day I have dreaded and allowed to throw me out of whack for two weeks. Today was that day. I had a long talk with my sister (she introduced me to C25K) about this dreaded day and through her encouragement (which came in the form of "you're not going to die so you better try") and that of my many Spark Friends I woke up with somewhat of a confident nature today. I was still intimidated but I finally realized "so w... Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:22:43 EST Overexercising? Today was a lot like yesterday except yesterday I actually did some sort of workout. Yesterday was a run day and since I won't miss out on my runs I went and I struggled through it. Unlike my usual run days I did not come home and burn another 100 to 200 kickboxing with the Kinect in fact I didn't do anything else when I got home. I figured "well I did my workout and that's what counts I'm tired and I don't want to do anymore so I'm not." However, I did feel guilty and kept thinking about it ... Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:48:13 EST Ugh What's Wrong with Me? For the past couple of days I have felt sort of out of sorts. I am having mysterious aches (not real pains by any means), irritating cravings, have been exhausted, and just don't feel like moving. It started yesterday during my customary non-cardio day cardio workout. I like to work out each day on the Kinect and I usually do Kickboxing. Yesterday I decided to try and something new and I was just not feeling it. I didn't have the energy or really the desire to go all the way through. So I fig... Wed, 26 Jan 2011 20:08:20 EST If the road ahead looks too long When I was little I used to have to walk home from school. Now let me tell you I was a complainer and hated walking home from school. One day as I was walking home and it was hot and I was complaining I stopped and looked back at the way I came and I thought "well it could be worse I could be back at the school". From that day forward I realized that when the road ahead seems really long that if I turn and look behind me and see how far I've come. <BR> <BR> Now of course I'm an adult now an... Tue, 25 Jan 2011 21:51:19 EST I did it!! (W5D1) Well first for those of you who read my previous blogs, I did end up taking some times off this weekend. I did strength training on Saturday but no cardio all weekend. It was hard and kind of boring but I survived it and I think I was better off for it. I ended up doing my official weigh in today as many of my teams weigh in on Mondays and also because the scale is in my mom's room and she doesn't get up until late on Sundays and I've usually eaten before I can weigh on Sundays. Anyway my off... Mon, 24 Jan 2011 22:04:15 EST I survived Okay well today wasn't near as bad as I though it would be. I thought when I go up to weigh today that I would be back where I started or worse weight wise. But I am glad to say the official weight loss is nothing but so is the official weight gain. Whatever was or is going on with me this week wasn't so bad. I wonder if everyone was right and I just needed to rest. I did my strength training yesterday but no cardio and today I have done nothing. I accepted my bodies need to rest and the advi... Sun, 23 Jan 2011 18:56:16 EST Acceptance Okay I started this journey with the goal of losing weight. I wanted to be healthy and thin and of course look good. Well it's looking like one of my goals is just not going to be a reality. I know I shouldn't weigh everyday but I have and all week my weight has been going up. Well at first it went down to 154 which is was great I thought well maybe I'll even catch up and lose another pound but then the next day it went back to 155 well okay that's where I started so that's fine. Then it was ... Sat, 22 Jan 2011 23:36:39 EST Accomplishments and Understandings So today I accomplished a wonderful thing. I completed week 4 of the C25K. Now week 4 is not too far but for me it was a mental and physical accomplishment. After having quit before due to knee pain at week 3 this week was a bit intimidating for me. Not only was it new territory I had a worry that I would starting hurting again and not be able to make it through. So as I set out on Monday I was half afraid I wouldn't make and half determined to succeed no matter what. Thankfully the determine... Sat, 22 Jan 2011 00:12:11 EST Lazy Day or Maybe a Little Down I don't know what's wrong with me today. I don't want to move, I don't want to do anything really. I know I need to do my strength training and to get in some cardio. I know that I didn't need to eat as much as I did for lunch and that two glasses of water when its 2:30 is not good enough. I don't know what it is. I wanted to go back to bed this morning even though I knew I wasn't tired. I just didn't want to be up. I thought about getting dressed but I couldn't decide what to wear. I weighed... Thu, 20 Jan 2011 15:44:09 EST My Theme I was reading a blog on today and the author was talking about her theme for the year. The one word that would describe her attitude, goals, beliefs, etc for 2011. She chose 3 words but it did get me thinking about if I was going to have one thing to describe what I want to get out of this year what would it be? <BR> <BR> Well after much thought about all the issues in my life and things I want to change or have happen this year I settled on determination. I've never had a p... Wed, 19 Jan 2011 21:55:38 EST I think my Metabolism is changing. I noticed some more things today as I went out in search of Vitatops. 1) I no longer crave junk food, 2) I was massively hungry today, and 3) Vitatops are hard to find. <BR> <BR> Okay so as I searched two different stores for the elusive treat that Hungry Girl swears by. I had to go down many aisles. I passed by all my old favorites. Popcorn, chips, cookies, pastries, junk food in general. That's when it dawned on me I didn't want them or desire them in anyway. I did look at a box of 100 ca... Tue, 18 Jan 2011 22:52:23 EST Two Week Recap (My Amazing New Life) As I enter into week three of my journey I can't help but to reflect back on the last two weeks. I know that two weeks isn't that long but when you're changing your life a lot can happen in two weeks. First I've drank a minimum of 120 glasses of water or 960 ounces. This compared to drinking at least 48 ounces of diet Dr. Pepper and no water. As my sister pointed out the other day I was the one who took a 1 liter soda to a fitness class. So as you can see that is a major change. <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 17 Jan 2011 23:14:09 EST Afraid of Burning Out I tried my hardest to take a rest day. Well okay that's not entirely true I had all intentions of exercising but on and easier level. I joined the exercise for 10 minutes a day challenge and am on a team challenge to use the Kinect for 20 minutes per day. So I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone by using the Kinect Your Shape Fitness Evolved for 20 minutes. Well that turned into 30 minutes and 100 calories burned. I could have stuck with playing the gym games or even doing the Zen class... Sun, 16 Jan 2011 23:57:16 EST Jello Legs and Spreading the Spark Today I must say was an awesome day. My little guy slept in which gave me some much needed rest. I woke up in a wonderful mood and was inspired to make the most of the day. So I decided to spread the spark today. Well my mom who is 51 is unhappy with her weight. She has told me that she's finally come to terms with being bigger (we were all naturally underweight when we were younger) but I know she is not okay with it. Well the other day I told her I was worried that she would be very unhappy... Sat, 15 Jan 2011 22:24:39 EST Hmm Thoughts for the Day Today I had some interesting thoughts go on. Well you may not find them interesting but I do which is good because they're my thoughts and I can't seem to escape them. Anyway this morning I went out for my run and completed week 3 day 3 of the C25K. I was happy to again make it through my run pain free although I was a little slow warming up today. I figured since it was above 30 I didn't need to warm up with aerobics before my run but I've decided that even if it isn't that cold outside I r... Fri, 14 Jan 2011 22:03:50 EST Day 11 Wow I realized today as I was writing in my journal that I have been doing this for 11 days. That's 11 days of drinking all my water, of working out (haven't wanted a rest day), and of eating right. 11 days straight of working to change my life. I'm a quite pleased and impressed but I worry that I am going to start slacking off. As I've said before I'm an extremist and right now I'm obsessed with doing this. I have an extremely addictive personality in fact I used to be an addict but when I quit ... Thu, 13 Jan 2011 23:02:59 EST Decisions, Decisions Today was a difficult day in the food department. You see its my baby brother's 18th birthday and in my family you get whatever you want for dinner on your birthday. Well my brother chose to have a cookie cake from Nestle Cafe. In case you don't know a cookie cake is basically a giant cookie with frosting. Well let me tell you that he chose white chocolate macadamia nut cookie which happens to be my favorite. Well one piece of about 112 grams (don't know how big that really is) is over 600 ca... Wed, 12 Jan 2011 22:39:08 EST My Obsession I have come to realize I need to find balance. I am on day 9 of my journey to a healthier me and have realized that it has become all or nothing with me. Well I already knew I was well am an extremist. I tend to become consumed with things to go beyond giving it my all. When I was in school I would spend hours on end editing my papers and rewriting them to make them perfect. Many times I would have to turn in work that I thought was awful due to an approaching deadline and then be floored w... Tue, 11 Jan 2011 23:06:13 EST Yoga I've heard amazing things about Yoga. About how it makes you stronger and stretchier, and have better breathing and posture. Really I've just heard amazing things about Yoga all the way around. In fact I'm not sure I've ever heard anything bad about it. Well I got two Yoga DVDs and decided to try out the AM/PM one. Last night I did the PM one and it was nice, easy, and relaxing. There was a point where I was just laying on the ground breathing. It felt really good. Today I did my aerobic work... Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:36:47 EST TaDa!! Today was my first official weigh-in. I was sure I was going to be disappointed and/or frustrated but no I feel great! I did only lose one pound but for some reason I don't care. I can't say that I don't want to lose weight but I can say that I feel awesome. I am totally enjoying working out and can feel the exercises becoming easier. I had originally planned on only working out six days per week but I just couldn't bring myself to sit around doing nothing today. I've also decided to start do... Sun, 9 Jan 2011 23:02:20 EST The Moment of Truth So tomorrow is Sunday meaning it will be the end of my first week being active here at SparkPeople. Tomorrow I will see if anything has changed from this week of eating right, exercising, and drinking water. I don't think I've ever drank so much water in all of my 35 years not to mention the exercise. I haven't moved this much since I was a child. I'm not feeling very confident because it just so happened to be my time of the month this week. I am proud that I have been drinking so much water... Sat, 8 Jan 2011 22:42:59 EST Frustration I hate to sound like a complainer as I feel that's all I've been doing this week but I'm totally frustrated with this whole nutrition thing. I can't afford to follow the diet set out by Spark so I have just been living off the same foods every meal every day. This is getting very boring. I swear if I never eat another wrap again it'll be too soon. Well so today I tried something new. I had a bagel with cream cheese. Not too bad but when I added that to my Caltrate, V8, and banana my breakfast... Fri, 7 Jan 2011 23:52:08 EST Keeping on Track I've realized the secret to keeping me motivated is to have a strict schedule I stick to. By having a schedule and being able to mark off each day's accomplishments I know that I'm doing well and that I should keep it up. That's one of the things I really like about this site is that it helps me keep track of everything I am doing and the areas I need to work harder on. The recommended 30 minutes 3 times a week is just not enough for me. I need more not because I'm trying to lose weight faste... Thu, 6 Jan 2011 21:31:28 EST Attitudes of a Former Anorexic As I enter day 3 I find myself questioning if this can actually work. I don't feel like I'm doing anything special or sacrificing and because of that I think I can't possibly lose weight. You see when I was in my early teens I was anorexic. It wasn't so much that I weighed so little that I was in danger health wise but it may have gotten to that point had I not been forced to change my ways. Anyway my tiny body weighed 95 pounds at 5'5 but the main thing was that what I saw when I looked in t... Wed, 5 Jan 2011 21:07:30 EST Got Up and Went As I come to the end of day two I can't help but to feel proud. I've never been one to give up on things that were important but I've also never been able to find myself and my health important. So far I've stuck with not smoking and with working the C25K program. With the start of the new year I decided I would lose weight that I would make myself something important enough to not give up on. For the last two days I've done well with my water and I'm actually starting to enjoy it a bit. It a... Tue, 4 Jan 2011 21:12:37 EST Get up and Go Okay so mentally I'm ready to get this year started off right. Yesterday I was within all of my daily food recommendations and actually drank more than the daily recommendation of water, which believe me was a miracle. I was 1 minute short of my 30 minute a day goal for cardio but that is because my interval training routine for yesterday, or Week 2 day 1 of the C25K was only 29 minutes long. Okay so why am I sitting here on the computer blogging? I should be checking out my new fitness game ... Tue, 4 Jan 2011 11:07:53 EST