LOYAL_HEART's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LOYAL%5FHEART LOYAL_HEART's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ January 26th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6080012 Well, my brain is consistently on fire. More specifically my face oscillates between being numb/tingling and pain/heat sensation. For over a month I've kept a "headache" journal for the sole purpose of sussing out what could possibly 1) cause these headaches and 2) keep them going on for so damn long. What I figure the route cause is light and sound in ample enough intensity to trigger what must be a persistent complicated migraine. The sound of someone talking in a small space is actually re... Tue, 26 Jan 2016 19:59:45 EST Well, ring in the new year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6060474 In my life two major changes are currently in motion and will set ablaze any best laid plans. My boyfriend is planning to move to New Jersey for graduate school. I only wanted the opportunity to love him everyday. Now there is a real possibility our relationship will end as soon as he moves. It's like my love isn't enough. I am not enough. I learned today, to my utter dismay, my department will completely restructure. Someone who is an emotional liability will be my equal and improving the pl... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 21:05:12 EST November 14th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6032284 My right facial nerve leading to my mouth and cheek became inflamed from a dental infection underneath the remnant wisdom tooth. The result? The worst photophobia and misophonia in a long time. Walking around in sunglasses, indoors and out. At night it gets worse and after working (sort of) on a computer all day, I come home and sit in the dark for a few hours until my face returns to normal. Weight loss program really not an option at the moment until this problem gets resolved. I'll need or... Sat, 14 Nov 2015 23:15:17 EST F$&*ing Mental Location http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6024191 "Mental location." I read that in a post from a fellow a Done Girl and it rings true to the separation from my dream world to the real world. I drove around looking for a coffee shop to study quietly discounting each one in my car. "That one's too loud." "It's too cold in there." "Groups meetup there and talk to much." Then a single thought cut through my consciousness. "It's a *&^#*&^$ coffee shop, not a library! People are going to talk, be loud, and the whole place will be cold because hip... Sat, 31 Oct 2015 12:30:33 EST Balanced Life Challenge - Day 11 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5994815 Day 11 - Create a Complaint Free Zone: NO Complaining all day long, including the occasional venting. <BR> <BR> Seems rather apropos this challenge fell on today. I took the day off and am making plans for the rest of 2015 as well as general ideas about 2016 whilst work is being completed on my home. In all reality over the past several weeks I've created a very elaborate but realistic study plan to start Sept 20th and began creating an exercise plan with an index. Sitting down and clearly ... Thu, 10 Sep 2015 12:55:51 EST Balanced Life Challenge - Day 3-8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5992791 Way over due activities and check in, never the less I am caught up as of this morning: <BR> <BR> Day 3 - Work out at home: I already work out at home with two yoga DVDs and a set of 5lbs dumbbells. However it didn't hurt to pick up a third yoga DVD that's centered on basic movements to help with the other two. If I didn't do yoga at home, my cartoonish performances would end up on YouTube or FailBlog. <BR> <BR> Day 4 - "Be a bookworm" Read for Fun: Just picked up the Oracle Bones for the... Mon, 7 Sep 2015 14:46:23 EST Balanced Life Challenge - Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5988230 Write down why you feel unbalanced: <BR> <BR> 1. I don't take care of myself very well. For the most part I've stopped learning to cook and working out regularly. <BR> 2. I let the unending stress of my job dictate my life. <BR> 3. I'm not making the most out of everyday. I fiddle with grand ideas of accomplishment but rarely come close to achieving anything. <BR> 4. I've stopped socializing, purely from a delusional idea that I need to focus on one thing and one thing only. That idea tu... Mon, 31 Aug 2015 16:53:38 EST Spoken dreams http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968268 People always have trouble acting out their spoken morals. That's rather true isn't it? We all struggle with acting out our spoken beliefs, our spoken ideals, and most importantly our spoken dreams. It's this fantasy we all play from time to time. "I am going to lose weight." I am going to get another job." "I am going to buy house." Funny enough so often that's where the progress stops, but the anger for not completing the task lingers. It's like announcing a phenomenal life altering event a... Tue, 28 Jul 2015 22:23:17 EST 7 1/2weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963339 Well I am seven weeks away from my test date. Still officially am in the dark about most of the content since my life has been up and down with the added weight of depression. Yet, I learned a long time ago a healthy life develops as a whole, not in one piece. If I could tackle another area simultaneously, with little effort and no real effect on my study time, then satisfaction from progress gained would boost my whole perspective. Even if that boost lasted for a short time its something. Si... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 18:12:46 EST It's been a rough week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5947463 Where do I start. I came home fuming from the today's events. It's the first time in four days I haven't just cried for a few hours. On Sunday I broke up with someone in a joke of a on/off relationship for 2 years. I really love him but it's just too painful to never get my needs fulfilled. Broke my heart saying goodbye. Yesterday my boss spoke with me about not being professional with the administrators. Apparently a gaggle of these women went to the head of our institution pressing for my ... Thu, 18 Jun 2015 22:20:48 EST I am really struggling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5942512 It's now 13 weeks until the MCAT and I've barely studied since registering over a month ago. I realize now it's because I am depressed. Activities that reduced stress or alleviated it altogether are not regular occurrences in my life. Without such even getting out of bed in the morning is getting very difficult. Depression is a life long battle for me. I've learned over the years how to overcome through various mechanisms to power through debilitating fatigue and sadness. The problem is it's ... Tue, 9 Jun 2015 19:25:17 EST 16 1/2 weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928294 Looking back at it I've strayed away from a developing a healthy lifestyle for over a year and a half now. I luckily kept most of the weight off (hell ya) and managed to accomplish manage personal changes such as paying off my first two student loans, blazed through physiology (suck it med students), and my first apartment to myself (even if the people above me reenact the Cretaceous period). I'm actually dating for the first time in years because I genuinely am accepting of who I am as I am.... Thu, 14 May 2015 21:27:42 EST Missed one day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5511573 For 390 days I walked a mile every day outside and then I missed a day. Basically my horrible work life caught up to me, I went out with friends and came home to tired to walk. I literally completely forgot to do the one thing in my life that is my constant just because of a stupid bad day. That's not really true. Actually everything is terrible right now. As of now I am failing my physiology course simply because I am either working or too tired to study. My weight loss and personal goals cr... Sat, 12 Oct 2013 13:46:42 EST Shame on you physiology, shame.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5496403 Well really it's me who deserves a bit of the shaming. Water challenge and cleaning challenge still in tact but I broke my streak on drawing everyday due to studying for physiology. I am not completely heart broken over it. It's just there is so much I am trying to accomplish in a short amount of time that my "slow and steady wins the race" attitude might not lend to success in the limited time frame I have to excel. For instance my next physiology exam is in about a week and half. To most st... Wed, 25 Sep 2013 23:21:20 EST Easing into it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5493201 If I know anything about me it's that I don't do hard and fast, as evident by my inability to really kick start a solid weight loss routine over the past year. On my walk tonight though I realized the rest of 2013 may be spent easing into a healthier lifestyle. One little change every week. That's it. No drastically sophisticated, overly structured plan detailed down to every minutia. Just small adjustments I already know should exist in my daily or weekly routine. For instance I managed to k... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 21:53:00 EST Celebrating a new year with family, friends and new challenges! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5488307 Yesterday marked the start of a new year to commit to my walking challenge. Unfortunately I started with failing my physiology test (ruined my mood for a good part of the day, oh and this is after I stayed up till 2am studying for the damn thing) but managed to celebrate with style the rest of the day. First off I got a pedicure for my rough (and I mean really rough) feet! Second I bought new walking shoes! My current shoes took me so far but needed to seriously be replaced. Thirdly I finally... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 13:15:23 EST Day 365! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5486043 Today is the final day in my one year challenge, DAY 365! After I take my walk to today I will have completed one solid year of walking outside for one mile every day. It's a proud moment because in the past year my life changed dramatically for the better since I took the time for self improvement every day. In celebration I am going to take stock in my major accomplishments: <BR> <BR> 1. I got promoted to administrator of my department <BR> 2. I lost 25 pounds. <BR> 3. I started school ... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 09:49:34 EST Almost One Solid Year of Committing to my Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5470381 When I passed 300 days of walking my mother took me for a massage. Up until then I never had a massage and I am grateful to her for celebrating my success. Now it's coming up on September 16th. On September 16th I will have walked outside for at least a mile every day for an entire year straight. That's right: I walked through two blizzards, rain, ice and now this horrific heat to keep a promise to myself. No missed days. Fought through the times I didn't want to do it. I absolutely will make... Thu, 29 Aug 2013 22:53:26 EST I passed 200 days! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5313051 Oh wow. Today is 202 in my daily walking challenge. I finally celebrated myself with two very loving and supportive friends. On 200 my longtime, wise, delightful confidant took me out for a drink and raised a glass to the small meaningful changes in my life. It was good to catch up with her. The next day, 201, my lovely accomplishment driven inspiration took me to dinner since she missed my celebration the night before. Both mini parties at wall side restaurant tables shall sustain me for som... Fri, 5 Apr 2013 21:24:39 EST Almost 200 days! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5296617 In a week and a half I will complete 200 days solid of walking one mile daily. It's a small accomplishment. I just wish I could reach a little higher. Start eating healthier for starters and really stick with it. I want to report in six months from now huge strides, not just little ones. I am just not sure how to get there. . . . Fri, 22 Mar 2013 21:21:11 EST Day 165 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5266167 Two blizzards later, I managed to maintain my walking challenge to hit Day 165! A friend once told me about a man she saw speak once who eloquently put into words why I keep up my challenge. In his speech about his struggles with sobriety he mentioned the number of days he'd gone without a drink. Even through the tough days "the fear of the zero" kept him from drinking. I wish I knew that man's name so I could credit him with such a profound statement about goal setting. "The fear of the zero... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 15:20:07 EST It's my birthday! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5235980 Only nine more days before reaching my 150 day walking challenge! That's the best gift I can give myself. Now I just need to add in something else to really lose the weight and better the person for next year. Sun, 3 Feb 2013 16:57:12 EST Day 132 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5223585 Today marks 132 days of my daily walking challenge! Day 132! I am so excited to just think in about two and half weeks I will celebrate 150 days of my walking challenge. It's something to smile about despite all the other crap going on right now. Gives me hope to strive for more. Fri, 25 Jan 2013 20:27:58 EST Over 100 Days of Walking! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5178707 Through the weather, holidays and getting my wisdom teeth pulled I DID IT! Today marks 105 days of walking a mile straight despite all the insane life challenges. <BR> <BR> 23Dec12 - Day 100!: I celebrated by taking my dog, Cami, to the plaza with her festive Christmas collar. We walked around the entire perimeter of the plaza to get my mile in and I let people stop us to admire my cute, dressed up catahoula. Just as an early Christmas treat we stopped at a dog bakery for a special on the s... Fri, 28 Dec 2012 11:22:49 EST Day 94! And 10 pounds lost! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5170401 Ok it took me 94 days to lose 10 pounds. After all the crap endured over the past couple of months I am reaching over my shoulder and patting my back. I couldn't care less if I am five pounds off from my goal weight on the My Weight full report. GO ME. <BR> <BR> <em>9</em> ! Tue, 18 Dec 2012 19:20:21 EST Christmas gift of 101 Fitness Days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5164867 It's Day 89! I just finished my walk with my Catahoula, Cami, and realized Christmas Eve will be Day 101 of my daily walking challenge. I effectively gave myself for Christmas 101 days of fitness :). <BR> <BR> Now I'd hoped to lose at least 20 lbs before my birthday. I've only lost 8 thusfar. My goal for the next 10 weeks is to lose the final 12 lbs. My birthday is in roughly 8 weeks so I might be able to squeeze out my goal, but I am willing to just go for the next 10 weeks to get back on t... Wed, 12 Dec 2012 22:15:19 EST Competitiveness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5153557 As a young person most people described me as incredibly competitive. Indeed as a child if I did not surpass all my peers in anything and everything then I saw my efforts as abysmal failures. As an older person though I am trying to learn personal competitiveness with the primary focus of being the best me. Silly as it might seem, my greatest failure in life remains the complete inability to just be me and concern myself with being the best me. I am really trying to make huge strides in my li... Sun, 2 Dec 2012 12:48:31 EST Ah life: promotion... weigh in with the doctor... chinese? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5148958 Well as I live and breathe my boss handed me an expected promotion with unexpected twists today. I am really apprehensive about taking over the good once my friend moves on to a better opportunity but at least my financial woes will settle down. He's giving me a sizable raise which I sorely need to make other opportunities open up in my life. I just wonder if this is the right step towards medical school. I just wonder if this is the right step for me all the way around. It's obvious my curre... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:15:13 EST DAY 70! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5145191 I am about to go on my walk and I realized today makes my streak of walking one mile daily 70 days! I am extremely pleased with myself at the moment. I managed to really stick to my guns on at least one thing for 70 days straight! Go me. Sat, 24 Nov 2012 15:06:04 EST Over did it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5141955 I just ate my way through my emotions. Damnit. My fellow manager quit today as expected and my boss is about to ask me to take over her responsibilities as expected. For some reason it just feels like hell. Like there is no end to this roller coaster of a mess. I am truly stumped on how to get around all this nonsense. <BR> <BR> Well that's not entirely true. One thing I will be working on over the holiday is my resume. If there is another opportunity I am better suited for, it's definitely ... Tue, 20 Nov 2012 21:57:29 EST Gained weight instead of lost :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5140652 Damnit! I gained three pounds! It's really my fault since I've been eating poorly lately. Just letting myself enjoy food as a comfort for all the crap going on in my life. Now I am really pissed at myself. I need to lose weight before my next doctor's appointment and now I'll be lucky just to make it back to the weight I was at last month. Again, damnit! Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:08:39 EST Saturday morning and my big cup of tea http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5138387 Yesterday my co-worker broke the new of her departure at the end of the year. I am not shocked but more or less disappointed. She really added sanity to a very stressful situation. I will certainly miss the relief of talking to her and just venting all my issues to an understanding ear. Another thing is I am in line to take her job and get another raise. If I do 1) I will royally piss off another one of my counterparts who, if he has half a brain will quit, 2) take me farther away from my pre... Sat, 17 Nov 2012 12:33:35 EST Day 60! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5135730 It's officially sixty days since I started walking one mile every evening. Through all the rough spells of late, at least I am going strong walking every day. If I get my calorie intake under control and water consumption increased I might actually lose weight before I see the doctor again on Dec. 7th. New goal: Lose five pounds before Dec. 7th. Yikes! Wed, 14 Nov 2012 22:08:46 EST It's that time of the year and probably the reason for my funk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5132679 Little known fact is most serious relationships end after two years and typically around the holidays or in the first few months of the new year. It's a time when everyone takes stock of their situation in life: family, friends, career, relationship, health, etc. Every year I go through the same mind numbing experience of chewing over my life right before the holidays until my birthday in early February. I eat myself up, spit it all out and then blame the cook for the unsavory meal. Mostly be... Mon, 12 Nov 2012 12:01:44 EST So need some help http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5127777 I really am struggling and I don't know why. I just am fighting myself so hard to get back into shape. I am still walking every day and have been since Sept 16th, but everything else is just going by the wayside. I am not really sure what the hell is going on. Wed, 7 Nov 2012 21:16:36 EST Where does emotional energy come from? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5122478 My job drains all the energy out of my bones by the end of the day and I come home with nothing for myself. I take abuse from others in my organization because my job entails culture change in a very large institution. I am just so frustrated. Those of you who've read my past blogs heard this song and dance from me before, but this time I am thinking about exploring new career opportunities. I want my life to matter. What I do currently and why I am doing it is extremely important. But my lif... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 12:35:29 EST Seven pounds gone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5117133 I went to the doctor today and weighted in seven pounds lighter! I am thrilled! Lately my weight loss journey took a couple wrong turns but I must be doing something right. He pleased with my progress even with the low doses of prescribed weight loss medications (before the comment section explodes with gripes about losing weight without medicine, please remember this is a personal decision made between myself and my physician. Refrain from harping on my Sparkpage) and all my reported activit... Mon, 29 Oct 2012 18:50:06 EST WHY CAN'T I GET BACK ON TRACK?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5114868 I am so frustrated with myself. First off I haven't tracked my food in five days! Ridiculous. I use to come home and religiously track everything I ate. Now I constantly forget. What's worse is I am starting to fall back into old eating habits because I am not carefully monitoring my food intake. Argh! Second, I am getting slower! I use to walk a mile in 16 minutes. Now it's about 17-17.5 minutes before I make it home. I am slipping away from my weight loss journey and am really struggling to... Sat, 27 Oct 2012 17:10:36 EST Still struggling to get back on track http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5107310 Alrighty my job is really getting me off track in a very distracting way. It so bad that I am not sleeping at night thinking about problems coming on Monday morning. I am really struggling to get my thoughts headed back in the right direction on ME and what I NEED to accomplish. Does anyone face similar problems? Any tips on getting back on track? <BR> <BR> Well on a happy note.. i got my replacement pedometer! At least I can start counting my steps again. Still walking too! On Day 36! Sun, 21 Oct 2012 17:07:41 EST Argh, been out of the saddle for a few days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5101762 Well the past few days are not the brightest moments of my weight loss journey. It's not that I overate significantly or didn't walk my daily route (Day 31 of my streak :) ). I just didn't keep myself in mind. I didn't track my food. I wasn't mindful of what I ate. I am definitely not drinking enough water and consequently not sleeping enough. It's not my proudest moment because I didn't put me first and fell back into old, unhealthy patterns. <BR> <BR> My job is pushing an enormous project... Tue, 16 Oct 2012 20:25:51 EST Lost my pedometer :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5094494 I am really disappointed. I took my daily walk and my pedometer went missing somewhere along the way. I retraced my steps but someone must have picked it up or something. Argh. I was starting to do really well tracking my steps. <BR> <BR> On a happy note I lost another two pounds :). That make four total since the end of September. Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:43:15 EST I'm getting faster :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5087183 I started walking everyday about two and half weeks ago. It's made a significant difference in my weight loss journey AND I am getting faster each week. When I started I could only walk a mile in 19 to 20 minutes. Yesterday I made it in 16.5 minutes. Since my ankle/feet injuries make running out of the question I will need to expand my route to keep my fitness minutes up and to continually challenge my body. Plus my pedometer came in the mail today so I can start tracking my steps. Very excit... Thu, 4 Oct 2012 22:25:13 EST I finally watched the scale move! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5082795 It's official. I've actually lost two pounds. I started walking about two weeks ago in addition to keeping a food journal and the scale actually gave "weight" this time around. I am very content right now. That warm type of content that starts with a coy smile and a deep breath before feeling relaxed all the way through. There still a long long journey ahead full of pitfalls, bad days, rough times and weak moments. At least I have this feeling to remember and I can't stop smiling. <BR> <BR>... Mon, 1 Oct 2012 20:18:14 EST Walking everyday is really paying off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5074923 My legs are stronger. I breathe easier. And I just walk for an hour with a friend around the park without losing a step! I am going in the right direction this time and I am really excited about it! Tue, 25 Sep 2012 20:39:08 EST I actually completed my fitness goal for the week! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5070894 Hot Damn! Granted my goal for the week was to simply take a 10 minute walk everyday but i did it. I stayed committed throughout this heinous week. I normally fall off the wagon when disaster strikes, except this time! It's probably silly to smile about it.... yet I am really pleased with myself. <BR> <BR> Well I am really excited to recommit to this goal for next week. Seven days of at least 20 minute walks. Other goals will eventually pile on but for now slow and steady wins the race. One t... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 22:25:52 EST Day 5 and all hell broke loose in my life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5068484 Thus far 96 walking minutes since Sunday logged. Only two more days and I will complete my challenge. Honestly if it weren't for the cheering on of anonymous SparkPeople I would have stopped. See, I always get discouraged when other parts of my life are stressed. In this case my work turned into a total nightmare on yesterday. All hell broke loose and I got blamed for not working with the predefined culture of the medical center. A miscommunication (rather no communication) mistake ran all th... Thu, 20 Sep 2012 22:46:46 EST Day 3 of the daily 10 min walking challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5065591 Well thus far Day 1 turned from walking into raking challenge and Day 2 I got soaked. On Sunday I got twitch to just start raking and it turned into my exercise for the day. Yesterday I started walking and got caught mid route in a rain storm. Walked the rest of the way home in a torrent, soaked to the bone. Today I took a very leisurely walk around the block ..... my goal is to start a habit and not run a marathon. As of now I logged 58 fitness minutes in three days. That's probably more act... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 22:46:19 EST Alright, I can do a daily 10min walking challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5061468 Exercise is really difficult for me because of recurring injuries in my feet and ankles. I am usually anemic as well so my muscles tire rather easily during exercise. Despite those issues I am going to try walking 10 minutes everyday for a week, starting today. I am hoping starting a simple walking challenge will segue into a full blown exercise plan in the future. Grant me fortitude and fortune fate to contradict popular belief. Sun, 16 Sep 2012 11:38:24 EST Angry at myself for getting so heavy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5058312 I logically know why I got heavy in the first place. Poor understanding of nutrition, a crippling abusive relationship, major financial loss, chronic health issues and poor living circumstances created a huge crater in my life. By the way, I'm only 27. Today brought on the realization that I am not just fighting weight loss, I need to fight everything else leading to my unhealthy life. I just am so frustrated I didn't see this train wreck coming. Why did I have lose so much? Why must all less... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 22:14:01 EST How the hell do people plan?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5055024 For some reason my protein intake is always sub par. Never fails. Not only that but I am missing other important nutrients like potassium and magnesium in my diet. My sporadic, ill conceived eating habits are really catching up to me. After starting a food journal again I am noticing how random everything is in my life. Cleaning, done whenever I remember. Mandarin lessons, happened sometime a couple weeks ago. Exercise, problematic. Nothing seems to stick like it should. It's not that I don't... Tue, 11 Sep 2012 20:21:24 EST