LOVINMY30S's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LOVINMY30S LOVINMY30S's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Living out loud in the next 14 weeks. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5979760 I rarely ever make my presence known on this site. I am usually here looking for inspiration but never saying much. I have been too ashamed. I started this journey over 4 years ago, maybe even longer. And since then, my weight has gone up and hardly ever down. I have been through a divorce, loss of a home, finding my voice and my purpose and numerous other changes. And the only time my weight was down was in my highest moments of stress. <BR> Now I'm sitting roundly at 179.6! I can't say I h... Mon, 17 Aug 2015 18:06:32 EST The Spark http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5312061 *Please note keyboard issues cause this post to have some grammatical errors while others are intentional-enjoy <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> Ive done it! By golly Ive gone and done it! And now I am all agog with pleasure or dismay I am still unsure. But it is done and i am forever changed. Now for the hard part, telling you what it is...sure ive written a book im afraid to reread, worrying it might be trash. And I suffer massive guilt at wanting so badly to be more than my wonderful life already... Thu, 4 Apr 2013 23:44:19 EST I believe my pursuit of peace and tranquility is stressing me out! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5308024 Now I don't know how some people do it, they always seem so zen, so completely in control of their thoughts and emotions. While I'm here barely able to get through the day without a couple spastic episodes. And before you think I am exaggerating for comedic effect check this out: I am a type A personality, control freak worry wart who is a mother. If that does not qualify my previous description I don't know what will. <BR> So knowing myself and hearing my docs threaten to place me on the al... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 20:35:56 EST Divinity stolen with permission http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5302242 I wasn't sure what to call this entry today, as my mind is all over the place. So here is an attempt to bring it back to one spot and focus. I am currently working on opening a small take out restaurant with my mother and daughter in law and hubby along with setting up my future to accomplish my goals and dreams and desires. As I work late into the nights and wake up tired these days, I find it is up to me to ensure I am maintaining balance and a clear vision along with a real positive perspe... Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:18:00 EST Sunshiny Day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5286693 I love the days when things seem to fall into place and one does not have to struggle just to get the day off the ground. When I wake up smiling and happily anticipating my future, when I eat well-mostly it is when I juice, when I do a bit of yoga and meditation and somehow my hygiene takes top priority. I love when it feels like because there is sunshine inside me, mother nature decides to reward me with the sunshine on the outside. When I feel so peaceful and powerful and all I desire is ri... Thu, 14 Mar 2013 15:19:04 EST I am(alpha and omega) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5277793 Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had emotionally in a long time. It was as if the residents of my mind took a vote and decided to eliminate all the positives, and promote all the negatives. Well those negative emotions started a wild party inside my head and all I could hear was you are broke, you are fat, you are an impatient mother and a bitchy wife, you are stuck and on and on... <BR> So last night when my head just about split open from all this unsavoury cyclical strong hold, I... Thu, 7 Mar 2013 18:11:36 EST Almost just doesn't count http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5274666 Lately I find myself humming "Almost Doesn't Count," by R&B artist Brandy. I know what it refers to in my life, and I have been working at it, to clean it up and I was close, but life as usual got in the way. I do believe I am one of those people who just has so much potential but may be afraid of success! I write this and cringe because it's a harsh truth to face. Looking at my life I see an overachiever who has always been too eager to help, worked too hard to gain too little and just have ... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 17:34:51 EST And funny fact: sitting on your butt-working a stressful job doesn't do anything good.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4883481 I had a great trek in the last 2 and a half months, doing p90x with my husband and being home with the kids(last year this time I was in school full time and pregnant!) and now I am also working from home-by the hr----for $! This is exciting because as a SAHM my first priority is family and therefore money takes a back seat. So finding a way to make money in the time I have left is great- and who doesn't want $:) <BR> Doing this job means my *butt* will be doing this job. Lots of sitting, s... Wed, 16 May 2012 00:16:58 EST Exercise does a body, mind and spirit good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4762363 I don't always feel like exercising, though I must admit there are nights when I get excited by the idea that tomorrow I get to wake up and do some new workout video or something. However when my body's sore from being beaten to a pulp the day before, I tend to want to curl up in bed and just sleep. But when those days hit, like today, and I feel like I...just...can't,I wake up and put my workout clothes on none the less. And even if it's at the end of the day, and I'm covered in spit up from... Tue, 28 Feb 2012 21:52:31 EST Real 1 eh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4757114 So weight loss has been an issue with me since I was 19, and suffice it to say I am well past that age now, but it continues to be an issue. I've heard it said that each child you have you gain 10 lbs and after my four children I can say I am far from 130 lbs I used to be. So what makes it different this time I ask myself as I head toward the treadmill or I push myself away from a pile of fried foods? Why will this time be different? Well I could quote a number of different reasons that I ha... Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:31:23 EST Routine rocks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4751984 I recommitted to my weightless journey this January 2012. I had given birth to my fourth child, a beautiful little miracle and I was walking around at my heaviest 186 lbs. I remember praying that throughout the pregnancy I wouldn't hit 200 lbs because to me that would have been more than I could bear. I ended my pregnancy at 196 lbs just under the horrid (in my mind) 200 lbs. Once I rejoined spark people I was so excited to see all my spark friends that I had desserted welcome me with open ar... Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:51:06 EST same old chicken...really? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3912329 I made chicken the other day, and I was not impressed as I coated the skinless pieces in herb spices and dumped them in the oven. The vinegar would give it the tang, the herbs would add spice and the rest would be up to nature and heat, blah, blah, blah... <BR> But that night my mom was in search of a sandwich,peanut butter no less!!! So horrified as I was by the audacity of the substance labelled "food", I offered her an altenative. Having just cooked a number of meals, I had a choice of... Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:14:09 EST Inspiration and motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3841381 I spent the last 3 months of my life in various learning situations. Not only have I been in school for a formal education, but it's the informal learning that has struck me as inspired.When I was younger, I considered myself a scholar, a professional student even; learning things because I could. Now as I'm older and my time is exponentially more valuable, I've learned to value the lessons from those pockets of teachable moments. Starting school this time around took loads of motivation, I ... Mon, 13 Dec 2010 12:18:21 EST Humility and spirituality http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3056252 "The human ego is a wonderful tool, but can also leave us in a wonderful mess. It is very common for those studying spiritual philosophy to feel that their intellectual understanding is a spiritual truth, but this is a particularly dangerous trap! <BR> Everything understood must also be realised"adopted from the http://meditation.org.au/class14.asp. <BR> I have mentally understood the existence of God, it has helped me to be able to walk in others shoes-humility, but I have not been as one wi... Mon, 29 Mar 2010 11:49:13 EST No More-mark my words!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3041699 So I have been stuck in an anger, resentment, guilt cycle for a number of months, a very diseased state of mind. My family triggers these feelings in me, continuously and I let them affect my wellbeing continuously. Never stopping to check the validity of these feelings or how they are affecting my life and mission. So many takers, so little givers but everyone talks about love,it is a very toxic place to be. The root of it is, and has always been selfishness-plain and simple, but the most s... Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:33:06 EST Dree-ee-eam, dream, dream, dream... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2575817 I realized the importance of dreams the other day, in a very real way. <BR> I had just come home from the gym, (something that's really hard to do when I have equipment at home, where I work.) Lest I digress, I was tired, irritable and very unhappy as I thought of the jelly fish craft I had to go prep and the clutter of dishes I still needed to clear. So I decided I wanted an escape and Idid it. I let myself dream! I wandered into my mind and dusted off some of the old dreams and I loaded ... Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:44:17 EST Day by Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2555557 I have seen joy and it is beautiful. The calm gentle breezes that waft through a home in the early morning, when it's warm and slow going and spirits are high. I have seen the sunset and heard the birds sing a chorus of praise. And in moments like that I have beheld what it is to be at total and complete peace. <BR> I now see chaos, I hear the concert of voices in my home like a gathering of rockers, and I am no longer aware of when the sun rises or sets, too busy just trying to get by witho... Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:59:44 EST Presence http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2538426 In primary,( or I guess you would say elementary) school in Jamaica, our teachers would take attendance and we would respond: "present,"sometimes eager to be there, or sometimes just coming out of a daydream. Either way we would look up at our teachers, chime our response and then go on about our business. Later on in high school as the attendance was taken we had some how changed our response to: "here," and we wouldn't even give it a second thought. It was just a learned response. So life w... Thu, 5 Nov 2009 22:51:16 EST Dynamic Woman http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2499345 Way back in the day I used to do spoken word and last night my dh said something that inspired me to write this. I am going share it something I haven't done before but as I learn not to take myself so seriously I step out in confidence. Here you go dynamic women. <BR> <BR> Dynamic woman <BR> I can be the one who cooks and sweeps <BR> my eyes sparkle early in the morning <BR> my heart is sweet, <BR> I like who I am becoming inspite of y'all <BR> I am smart,kind and beau-ti-ful. <BR> A... Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:16:23 EST Lessons from the tub http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2490157 I have the dingiest bath tub in the world. And as someone who needs alot of relaxation aids in my life not having a tub is a disadvantage. We were duped when we bought the house, the tub was spray painted and so it appeared to be lovely until I went for a soak and emerged with paint all over my body-not so pleasant. <BR> So as I was vigourously scrubbing at the inefficiencies and inadequacies apparent in the tub, when a thought occured to me. It went something like: why kill yourself trying t... Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:19:52 EST I'm Back! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2404150 I like to imagine myself sitting at beautiful desk with plants and space and many inspiring pieces I collected while traveling the world to tell the story of my life. But in reality I sit at the edge of my unfinished plywood bed, rifling through my son's scribble pad for an empty page to capture inspiration. <BR> But I digress, I alluded to being away in my title, and this was not a physical abscence as more a spiritual and emotional disconnect. I have been on this journey, where some thing... Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:19:01 EST Beyond Knowing is faith. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2315655 Lately I've been somewhat frustrated with the spiritual part of my journey. And as such, I have refrained from doing things that keep me current, grounded and even more peaceful in life. But at the same time there are things that are rooted into my personality, that I do without a second thought, things like praying and being grateful to God for pleasant daily surprises and blessings. <BR> And as one who likes to be logical and to know, I have wondered often about the things I do not know to ... Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:42:49 EST Discipline http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2286540 Lately my children have been lacking discipline and forgetting their manners, while this is irritating it is not detrimental to their health. However not getting in the right amount of exercise and rest are both things that can be detrimental to one's health and should be scheduled and followed. For the month of July I started working out at a gym. And while I was very disciplined about showing up and putting in the work,I was not as disciplined about getting enough rest. So I crashed. My im... Tue, 4 Aug 2009 11:35:24 EST Finding quiet time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2273749 There are only 24 hours in the day and when you have, as my 7 year old son would say "50 million and 1" things to do, so the last thing you want to think about is sitting still doing nothing. As a mom I know this all too well. However research shows that stress is not only a major contributor to health issues in our new and advanced society, but that it's also quite deadly. <BR> So how does a busy person chill? <BR> Well this is the hard part. One has to just make time. No, I am not referr... Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:12:22 EST Freedom to live http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2269239 Lately it's been on my mind alot how much the right attitude and mindset can affect ourlives. I have borne witness to a few different situations in which people are either dying or dealing with death or just plain dying for a change. And the main lesson I've learned from interacting with them is attitude is everything. <BR> A while ago I felt trapped in my life, I was unhappy and unforgiving. I did not like others and I certainly didn't like myself. I had a nasty attitude towards anything and... Wed, 29 Jul 2009 10:31:42 EST maximum effort(Month 2) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2262917 AUgust is approaching and it's time to refocus. I want to focus on being more focused. I am finally at the halfway point and I am motivated to get to the goal. I have the last 21 pounds to go and I'm happy about that. I am now going to put a plan in action to maximize the effort so I can get maximum effect. <BR> And now it should take me less time to do it as I have a personal trainer some help from a nutritionist and a brand new point of view. I want to be an athlete. First a runner, then a ... Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:44:41 EST Healing (Days 37 and 38) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2253442 'Sick as a dog' is the expression that comes to mind when I think of how I've been feeling the last few days. Having changed my schedule to include working out at the gym 3-4 times per week and not getting enough rest, has left my immune system weak and suseptible to illness. <BR> A simple cold now has me feverish and weak, dragging around and too tired to drag myself to do my daily routine. Who knew that trying to take care of yourself could end up making you sick? <BR> I see now that a majo... Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:31:15 EST Finding ourselves(Day 35 and 36) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2246756 Sometimes we get lost. It's really easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, and the projects we undertake. I know the more emersed I get into a project,the less time I have for other things like my spiritual life and my relationship with my family members and friends. And I know better than most how much I need these connections. Life without connections to the people and practices that make me happy is pointless. So my projects may end up feeling like empty labor and essentially I end... Tue, 21 Jul 2009 10:21:18 EST Oh so tired(Days 33 and 34) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2236597 Today I am tired, barely able to keep awake. It was like that since yesterday, and then I went to the gym for cardio. Wow on days like this I can't even see straight. So if I can I will be headed to the treadmill for a run and then later maybe some belly dancing. <BR> Here's to finding motivation when you're too tired to think straight. <BR> Have a good one, Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:15:33 EST Slow and steady ( Day 32) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2230605 Slowly, slowly, that's the mantra of a two year old boy going down the stairs by himself for the first few times. He knows the secret to true success, take your time. I am sometimes rather impatient and just want to get it done right away. In my haste I sometimes forget to stop and smell the roses, or just appreciate the fact that I am in the middle of changing my life and quite possibly the people around me also. how amazing it is to be able to change something as important as the course of ... Wed, 15 Jul 2009 10:21:28 EST Day 31(consistency comes slowly) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2227994 I started this blog with the hope that I will learn how to be consistent, it seems like only a few days ago, but it's already a month. I have learned a lot of good things about myself in the past 3 -4 years and it's these things that I'm building on. I have learned that I like things in order(I like having things neatly planned out) and I like to create an environment that encourages growth and joy. I enjoy pursuing peace(but that makes me the exception not the rule). I am confident in who I... Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:48:32 EST When enough is more than enough(Day 30) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2225795 "I have had enough!" Ever find yourself saying this? And what does it mean? Does it mean you are tired, quitting, fed up? I know when I say I've had enough it's usually a combination of many things, but it's mostly because I refuse to continue in the same patterns I have been going in. I have a choice to make my life peaceful, happy and stressfree and by choice I will live that way. I will be healthy and athletiic,fun and successful and downright happy. I will no longer allow the misery of ot... Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:47:30 EST Knowing when to ask for help(Day 29) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2218203 When I started my weight loss journey, I knew I wanted to change alot of things in my life. I knew that the weight was just a symptom of the deeper problem-me not loving myself. I purposed in my heart to lose weight and gain some self respect and love. And as I'd attempted to do it so many times and failed, I decided I would do it at home, on my own, with no drugs, and no outside help. After 7 months I have lost only 16 pounds and put back on 3 of those pounds. So I celebrated all I could do ... Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:18:49 EST Motivation(Day 28) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2214985 Wow it's almost a month already since I started this blog and it seems like I'm not moving weight wise, even though I'm doing alot of things right. Yesterday I had no motivation whatsoever to exercise,I just couldn't find the drive. I read through some pages on spark and then went and did almost an hr bellydancing and then walked around in the mall for 2hrs. Now I know that most people don't think about mall walking as exercise, but if it causes my legs to burn, and my body to feel some pres... Thu, 9 Jul 2009 10:06:24 EST Dilligence(Days 26 and 27) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2212184 I wonder if diligence had a face what kind of face it would be. Would it be happily skipping along,knowing one day it would get to it's ultimate goal. Or would it be a scrunched up face,set in steely determination, so set upon it's task that no matter what came in the way, it would get brushed aside to get dilligence to it's goal? <BR> My face is often set in steely determination as I try to Plan my future, Organize my present circumstance, Scale back on certain areas, clean up all the areas... Wed, 8 Jul 2009 10:13:23 EST Sometimes we go alone(Day 25) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2207307 Ever have one of those days when you just know you are alone on a project or a task? <BR> Everyone seems to need you for something or to be somewhere and no matter how much you say it, no one seems to listen to the fact that you have something else to do that is equally as important as what they want you to do. Those days are so frustrating and almost a little sad. We want our spouses, friends and relatives to be a source of support, but sometimes they want your support and "forget" to return... Mon, 6 Jul 2009 17:07:24 EST Sink or swim(days 23 and 24) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2204501 I finally began swimming classes. That in itself was a big deal,as I have always been somewhat apprehensive, okay, honestly extremely afraid of water. On my last vacation to the Dominican Republic, my hubby showed me I was not really afraid of the water, just untrusting because it's so vast.(yah think!!) So I signed up to face one of my fears. In preparation for this I went and colored my hair flaming red,as I needed something to look at and feel the bravery I know I posses to face the things... Sun, 5 Jul 2009 18:00:16 EST Preparation process(Day 22) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2199974 Today would have been the eve of my business exam but I have chosen to wait a few more days, until I feel ready. I am the type of person who needs to feel prepared, almost to the point of being neurotic(or just plain neurotic if you ask my husband LOL). But the truth is I am a strong believer in success being equal parts preparation and opportunity and I know I don't control the opportunity part so I work the preparation angle fully. <BR> Now don't get me wrong,one can use this process of pr... Fri, 3 Jul 2009 09:34:11 EST Spontaneous celebrations(Day 21) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2197678 There are those days in your life when you are just drawn to do something out of the ordinary; like make up a couple batches of fresh tomato sauce or play video games till late in the night, or even choose to have a grand Italian feast. And at these times all your worries seem to dissipate, all your to dos get to be null and void and you just plain celebrate. <BR> You celebrate the healthy choices you have been making in your life, the growth and responsibility you've shown. And you celebra... Thu, 2 Jul 2009 10:35:26 EST Time for clearer focus(Day 20) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2191747 I never know when these things are going to hit but it's always with just enough discomfort so I'll want to do something and do it now. I have been trying to organize my home so it runs like I would a business outside of the home, always keeping in mind that I homeschool,run a daycare, go to school and am still trying to eat healthy and exercise and balance all that in a christian way. <BR> So lately when the condition of my home:things needing to be repaired, updated,organized, and all the... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:36:47 EST Jump start(Day 19) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2188932 Like all other months, July is rushing towards me but this time I'm set in my stance waiting for it. There are alot of changes taking place in this month as I aim to jump start my brand new but somewhat familiar life. I have a few long term goals and will continue to list my short term goals for the month daily. <BR> As it stands right now my goals are : <BR> Long term: <BR> <BR> - Consistency in: Enjoying(seeing the positive), planning(having long term and short term goals),Organizing, and... Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:08:19 EST A little testy are we? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2184149 I have sometimes been "testy" when someone asks me this question; afterall I have every reason to be. I am wife, homemaker, entrepreneur and educator -why wouldn't I be? And then I realize that I have the choice to be the best person I can be. Now. <BR> And I start looking for my best attributes and accentuating them. And by realizing who I am, and that I am meant to be more than I ever dreamt of-I become... Grateful. Aware of all the times I have been protected, directed and now I have goa... Sat, 27 Jun 2009 01:18:34 EST Flowing(Day 17) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2178641 What a day today was;working hard, playing hard and tying to keep on top of things-it's been so crazy. I did have every intention of cleaning my house and organizing my documents and all those grand ideas, but in reality I got only a portion of that done. <BR> And the truth is by going with the flow I got alot more done than I anticipated. I exercised for over 2 hours burning over 800 calories and I still intend to clean at least my bathroom. <BR> I also made healthy meals all day and stayed... Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:17:39 EST Recovery(Day 16) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2171747 Unlike my previous blog, I did not have everything under control, my SIL came over and the day was wrecked(foodwise) and even though I did run 4 miles on Friday, I ate like I had run 4 miles everyday fo the past week. I did do well at a birthday party, but that was probably the only place I did do well at. I made alot of good choices such as not snacking in the nights, eating healthier meals oon the weekend(except for the burger on Saturday) and moving alot during the weekend. However I did n... Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:13:21 EST Angry energy, exercise-ability(Day 15) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2161780 So here I am angry and nervous because of a fight I had. A fight that had always been brewing but just now spilled over and once again I didn't say the things I wanted or fight back how I wanted to. So now I'm stuck with this anger and a need to workout.I guess that's a good thng that that's how I feel instead of wanting to eat. I guess also the best thing I can see in this is that even though I am feeling emotional right now, I'm still mindful of the things that I need to change and I'm work... Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:48:03 EST Day 14(slipping here) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2159291 It seems like there is something in me that causes me to want to fail at things. The very moment I pick up momentum I seem to start falling back all in the same time frame. I have struggled since yesterday to get my butt moving and have struggled with healthy eating and drinking choices. I always reach certain thresholds and then just flat out stop-WHY!? <BR> Let me analyze myself a little: I want to lose weight,I want to be successful in my day everyday,I want to quit doing some things that ... Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:00:25 EST Days 12 & 13(recovery phase) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2153881 This month I will pray and meditate daily,I will eat well and exercise, I will lose weight and gain self esteem,respect and gratitude to God for helping me become. I will do 1 thing that brings me joy daily be it hang with my family or just saying no to something I really don't want to do and saying yes to balance and peace. This month I am consistent, I am balanced, I am healthy and happy." <BR> <BR> I did do well at the party, I danced for hours,ate well and didn't over indulge,but the ne... Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:40:42 EST Day 11(Trials a plenty) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2147458 "This month I will pray and meditate daily,I will eat well and exercise, I will lose weight and gain self esteem,respect and gratitude to God for helping me become. I will do 1 thing that brings me joy daily be it hang with my family or just saying no to something I really don't want to do and saying yes to balance and peace. This month I am consistent, I am balanced, I am healthy and happy." <BR> <BR> Yesterday was awesome, I did my strength training and bellydancing, stayed below my calor... Sat, 13 Jun 2009 11:27:07 EST Day 10(Blissful marriage of mind and muscle) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2145016 "This month I will pray and meditate daily,I will eat well and exercise, I will lose weight and gain self esteem,respect and gratitude to God for helping me become. I will do 1 thing that brings me joy daily be it hang with my family or just saying no to something I really don't want to do and saying yes to balance and peace. This month I am consistent, I am balanced, I am healthy and happy." <BR> <BR> This morning as I'm teaching the kids about loving their neighbours and fulfilling their ... Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:21:23 EST day 9 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2141835 "This month I will pray and meditate daily,I will eat well and exercise, I will lose weight and gain self esteem,respect and gratitude to God for helping me become. I will do 1 thing that brings me joy daily be it hang with my family or just saying no to something I really don't want to do and saying yes to balance and peace. This month I am consistent, I am balanced, I am healthy and happy." <BR> <BR> Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your... Thu, 11 Jun 2009 07:45:28 EST