LOVINGMYSELF101's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LOVINGMYSELF101 LOVINGMYSELF101's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Realizations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548176 I am the same weight as I was the last time I checked in, at least I didn't gain right? <BR> <BR> Still working on it. <BR> <BR> Never giving up. Sat, 23 Nov 2013 04:41:07 EST Saturday Blog, tired... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5245648 checking in... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 21:41:16 EST NEW COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5220655 FINALLY! Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:04:00 EST Update on dead laptop http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5214469 Sorry I have been so 'quiet' lately. I am down about 55 lbs, and been sick with the flu for weeks which has turned into a respiratory infection. I am trying to shake this, but my cough lingers. I also have pain in both ears off and on. Not sure what is going on, some days I feel better, and some days I feel beat up. Weight loss is slow, but going. <BR> <BR> Okay, they sent me the $$$ for a new computer since I had the laptop insured against stupidity, and I got a much, MUCH faster tower desk... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 15:29:31 EST Still No Laptop :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5192035 Well, still no laptop, just checking in real quick. Have been losing weight slooowly, but steady, which is good. Had the flu off and on for weeks now, hard to eat, crackers go down well, but do NOT help with weight loss! Flylady helping for the last few days, progress not perfection. I am chipping away at all my 'hot spots', and it is making a difference. <BR> <BR> I was looking for a book on daily affirmations, or daily motivations.. couldn't really find any! So I took some note cards and w... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 19:02:29 EST Killed My Laptop http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5168927 Howdy. It was the middle of the night, 2 am to be exact. I knocked over a glass of water.... right onto my laptop. I have a warranty, but need to send it in. SIGH, always something! I am so angry that I did something so stupid! The thing is, when I knocked over the glass, I got it right away and felt how much spilt, it was still half full, so I didn't bother turning on the light thinking it didn't spill too much. Unfortunately, the next morning when I opened the laptop, I could see moisture n... Mon, 17 Dec 2012 09:47:08 EST Down over 50 lbs! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5159148 Little update.. got my Apple Bottom jeans! they fit PERFECT!!!!!!!! So amazing to put on clothes that were tight, and now fit... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 10:06:34 EST Down 50, Vent Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5152617 Argggh!!! While I uploaded this, I sent the 11 year old over to check on his mom. She had just come back from town... never called or stopped to even ASK if her kids were ok, and sent them back with an extra kid! <BR> <BR> Do I have 'sucker' stamped on my forehead?? Sat, 1 Dec 2012 13:10:44 EST November Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5137333 Checkin in! Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:36:10 EST 97% Fat Loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5129329 I went to the Dr. yesterday... <BR> <BR> They did a bodyfat analysis. Of the total I lost, 97% was pure fat, only a 3% muscle loss!! They were VERY impressed and said that not many have that ratio, some lose up to 50% fat and 50% muscle loss. For me to have that number shows that I have been exercising. <BR> <BR> I am quite proud. She pointed out that since I am building/maintaining muscle, I may have had an exchange of pounds and muscle which would explain my plateau. <BR> <BR> Of course ... Fri, 9 Nov 2012 08:58:30 EST Giving Yourself a kick in the pants http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5122405 ps, the blue band on my forefinger says "eat better" Sat, 3 Nov 2012 11:10:20 EST Organized http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5121455 How does one become organized? When your house needs SOOO much attention, and there is a mountain of laundry, and your kid has an earache and cough, and (fill in the blanks!) blah blah blah! Excuse excuse excuse! <BR> <BR> How do you get started? Where do you start? I feel guilty sitting here typing when there is so much to do! I feel... no... I know I have fallen so short of the life I want. <BR> <BR> If I was the kind of mom that I dreamed of... I would get up in the mornings. Get showere... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 12:21:24 EST Plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5111139 It was inevitable. I have hit a plateau. Losing and gaining the same 3-4 lbs, not going down on the scale. Not gaining either, just those same 3-4 lbs! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1384403747.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The name of this plateau is "Cascading Plateau"... how fitting. I know that when you lose weight, a natural process it so hit a plateau now and then. I am down aprox. 40 lbs. So my body is adjusting to this new weight. I am exercising more, and weight li... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:29:42 EST Fall in Ozarks MO http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5106422 Here are a few photos I took of the leaves changing. They are more breathtaking than any firework display, more gorgeous than any topaz, rubies or emeralds I have ever seen... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1158075182.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1016779572.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1403638562.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l482071373.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople... Sat, 20 Oct 2012 21:02:16 EST Riding the little rides http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5105498 Well, this week was full of surprises. I am sick, start off with that! But I still did my treadmill, bike at home, went and joined the Community Center a half hour away, and did the weights, elliptical, and swam this week! WOO HOO! <BR> <BR> I fit into my size 22 jeans. <BR> <BR> I did not eat any ice cream, chocolate fudge, truffles or funnel cake at Silver Dollar City. <BR> <BR> I DID ride the little ride with my daughter. I protested to my husband when he suggested that I could fit on t... Fri, 19 Oct 2012 22:52:24 EST Down 41, new milestone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5096621 I'm down 41 pounds, I started at 320 and am today 279. I stared in silence at the scale this morning, convinced that it was somehow a mistake. But it is true, I am consistently going down the scale. WOO HOO! <BR> <BR> I am still tired, exhausted, and recently have sinus issues. I want to feel energetic, and am wondering when I will feel 'normal' again. It has been a month since my surgery, and I am wanting to return to my regular activities. I just feel so drained. I don't really feel any di... Fri, 12 Oct 2012 15:07:02 EST Monday Morning New Starts (AGAIN?? LOL!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5091075 I'm up...and almost awake too! <BR> <BR> <BR> <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3NzlLKMYuQ&<BR>feature=g-upl </link> Mon, 8 Oct 2012 10:06:30 EST Down 35 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5090541 Coping... <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=reKhkjaP1S0 </link> Sun, 7 Oct 2012 21:39:38 EST Down 30 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5080600 still i learn... Sun, 30 Sep 2012 13:09:15 EST FOOD! CRAVINGS! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5072689 Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it. -Bill Phillips, EAS Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:10:53 EST Gastric Sleeve Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5062311 Checking In and doing better Sun, 16 Sep 2012 22:24:27 EST Back Home http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5054894 Surgery went without a hitch, perfectly content. Pain bearable, have been walking every hour when awake to keep blood clots from forming. Resting now, love to all and thanks for your prayers. Will post more later. <BR> <BR> (((HUGS))) -Rose <em>214</em> Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:32:50 EST Surgery Tomorrow! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5050835 My video on youtube, posted here for my friends. Love you and thanks for all the support. (((HUGS))) -Rose Sun, 9 Sep 2012 10:44:06 EST Day 4 Liquid Diet Pre-Op Gastric Sleeve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5037372 Just chugging along, wanted to say hi to all of my friends! Thu, 30 Aug 2012 11:44:26 EST Pre Surgery Diet & Thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5032856 It cannot help but come to mind that today is the heaviest I will ever be, for the rest of my life. After years of dieting, most of my life actually, I am on the pinnacle of a whole new life. Starting today, my weight will gradually go down. <BR> <BR> The surgery is definitely a strong tool, but I am not solely relying on it for success. I know that I must do the work. Sparks has taught me some very important things, and surgery is not a sell out on those ideals. I need to be consistent with... Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:28:27 EST Reminder to My Future Self (pre-op) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5032022 Hey future self! Don't forget how far you have come and WHY you did this!!! Sun, 26 Aug 2012 17:57:14 EST Caffeine Withdrawal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5028956 SO, now that I know I am definitely getting the surgery, I am cutting out all caffeine. Let's face it, I love soda, I do. Pepsi Max, Diet Mountain Dew, and Coke Zero are my all time favorites. I have a beverage by me all the time. I have quit several times before, but you know how it is... Soda is sooo good! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l166661465.jpg"> <BR> <BR> However, now I am having raging headaches. Debilitating, knock you to your knees headaches. Now, ... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 08:32:59 EST SURGERY DATE WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5025333 SEPT. 10, 2012 MY LIFE CHANGES FOREVER Tue, 21 Aug 2012 19:15:09 EST Tired Of Waiting (Gastric Sleeve) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5018193 Sigh, just venting... Thu, 16 Aug 2012 14:08:29 EST Desire of The Eyes. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5010847 She looked at the sales dresses, longingly...and saw that they were something to be desired, and so she shopped. <BR> <BR> Ahhhh.... the desire of the eyes is dangerous! My husband told me to WAIT till next week, but... <BR> <BR> The sale ended Monday. <BR> <BR> My coupon was to expire... <BR> <BR> The dresses I found on clearance were going fast, many were 'Hurry! Only one left!' <BR> <BR> Free shipping for $100 or more! Hurry while offer lasts! <BR> <BR> Oh Boy! <BR> <BR> So, here is... Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:19:59 EST Clothes Chat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5009565 Dreamin' of a new me... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 10:56:35 EST Buying Clothes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5009115 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/7/l972245697.jpg"> <BR> (standard issue fat lady muu muu, no thanks!) <BR> <BR> I want new clothes so bad right now. <BR> <BR> I have to keep reminding myself that buying clothes now is fruitless... I shop online and find such pretty clothes, but there is no sense in my buying clothes that I will outgrow (shrink out of??) in a few months. I have clothes enough to last me for this short period of time. <BR> <BR> I think what it is, is that I ... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 01:33:17 EST Gastric Sleeve Tools, Pre Op http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5006684 Learning to eat in new ways, tools you can use. If you think of anything else or different, please offer suggestions! I would love to hear them! Wed, 8 Aug 2012 13:05:16 EST Official Before Surgery Photos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5006652 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/3/l638888277.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l397403360.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/8/l98971994.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/4/l542106377.jpg"> <BR> <BR> These are my absolute LAST before photos I am going to take. I have taken so many, and never had any after photos. Check out my Sparkpage, look up photos, and you will see at least 3 different attempts at weight loss p... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 12:46:57 EST Tuesday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5005086 Today I am watching four kids, two six year old girls, a 3 year old boy, and a 3 month old. Needless to say, they are NOT on the same page with games, entertainment, snacks or naps! <BR> <BR> I have been watching several videos on YouTube about the surgery that I have decided to get, the gastric sleeve. The stories are amazing. I am starting to actually get excited at the reality of this finally happening. <BR> <BR> Up till now, it has been a roller-coaster ride emotionally. First FIL offer... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 13:05:15 EST Focus! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5003178 I will also take a before video/pics Mon, 6 Aug 2012 09:55:25 EST Quick Update (aka my little life, lol!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4968526 I am sticking to my goals. <BR> <BR> My mom is leaving my father and coming here. Too many details to list here, but for those that know me know that he almost died about 4 times last year. He spent months in the hospital, tubes down his throat, congestive heart failure, renal failure, on a breathing machine, pneumonia, the doctors told us on two different occasions to make arrangements with the funeral home. He was in ICU for six weeks. <BR> <BR> He survived. <BR> <BR> Got off of dialysis... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 10:43:16 EST Tired of starting over? Stop giving up!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4965774 Story of my life. <BR> <BR> I will not spout here about my new goals or how fired up I am. <BR> <BR> I am going to let my actions speak for themselves. <BR> <BR> I got up and exercised (before my brain knew what I was doing, no excuses) <BR> <BR> I drank my water. <BR> <BR> I took my supplements. <BR> <BR> I had a salad with turkey, egg, and one slice of diced bacon (mmm) <BR> <BR> I kept a log of my food. <BR> <BR> I cleaned what I had planned to clean. <BR> <BR> I am doing it. <BR>... Wed, 11 Jul 2012 15:49:29 EST Seminar (WLS) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4964367 I was amazed at some of the people at this seminar. They seemed so un-aware of all that this surgery entails. They did not have a simple understanding of many of the aspects of what you will need to change BEFORE getting the surgery. They seemed to think that the surgery is a cure-all... and it isn't. <BR> <BR> Weight loss surgery is a huge step, a life-changing decision, not to be taken lightly. If you want success with this very powerful tool, you must do the research, speak with your doct... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 18:57:57 EST Scarlet died http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4954986 A renter we have here was asked to vacate after harassing other guests. Within 48 hours, my cat and dog died, the same way pretty much. Convulsions, spasms, foaming at mouth, couldn't walk. We suspect he poisioned them both since he knew they were ours, and they were outside small animals that used to go to everyone, very friendly. <BR> <BR> Scarlet had as a pup been rescued from a guy that was getting rid of his dogs puppies by shooting them. Scarlet had a bullet hit her square on the top o... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 11:26:05 EST Pepper died http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4949595 In my arms. Today.... don't know why. He wouldn't eat or drink. Hid under the bed. I thought he might be dehydrated. Or maybe he got bit by a snake. Maybe someone fed him poison. I don't know. All I know is this, my little girl and I lost another family member, granted it's a pet, but he meant a lot to us. A sister found him as a kitten, stuck in a wall, he was blind, malnourished, I had to hand feed him. He had cried so long in that wall, his vocal cords were damaged, so he had a very distin... Sat, 30 Jun 2012 23:10:42 EST coping http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4948114 Well, things are somewhat more settled. My next appt. is on the ninth of July. <BR> <BR> I have been thinking more about my next steps in my journey to weight loss surgery. The death of my FIL has de-railed me, but I am now ready to continue. <BR> <BR> Emotionally, I am very out of sorts. I know what I need to do, it is doing it that seems much tougher! I am tired of planning, reading, wondering, I just want to do it. <BR> <BR> I have to remember that this is a process, and that there is ... Fri, 29 Jun 2012 19:25:10 EST Funeral http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4938712 Well, it went quietly, peaceful. Glad it's over. Father in law is cremated, and we are left with everything. Much to take care of. <BR> <BR> I ate little yesterday, and threw up anyway. <BR> <BR> I held it together till my little girl started sobbing at the services. I rocked her, and cried with her. <BR> <BR> Thank Jehovah for the sisters. They were of GREAT comfort to me, and two of them actually work at the funeral home (go figure) they helped me set up and took care of everything for ... Sat, 23 Jun 2012 09:58:52 EST had a bad day... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4908126 pop tarts. corn dog. chicken wrap. I must be honest. <BR> <BR> Went to doctor's appt with father in law this morning. He is dying. They have given him weeks. He is going downhill fast. Last nite he didn't make it to the bathroom, and there was much to clean up. <BR> <BR> We do not complain. We watch. We worry. We fret. We pray. <BR> <BR> We know he misses his wife that he lost last August. <BR> <BR> He will not be far behind. <BR> <BR> May he go peacefully, and awaken in Paradise. <BR> ... Fri, 1 Jun 2012 22:34:57 EST Head Hunger and Crunches http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4906205 I had head hunger, I was NOT hungry, yet I wanted to snack, preferably something salty and crunchy. So I traded something crunchy, for crunches! <BR> <BR> I am stressed, feel overwhelmed, and food has been my friend for so long. <BR> <BR> I decided to get out of the house, I took my journal. I played with the dog, journaled, and then came in and lifted weights. Then I did crunches, I am pleased to say I can still do 100 after all this time. <BR> <BR> What I am facing now is that since my s... Thu, 31 May 2012 17:19:23 EST Count down to Surgery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4902599 Well, almost. LOL! <BR> <BR> I have two weeks till my next appointment with the nutritionist, and a few days after that, the exercise therapist. Then if all is well, I meet with the surgeon to get a date. <BR> <BR> I am nervous, and determined to make every day till that appt. count. I need to be committed, no more sneaking a fry, or a taco. I must be on track and show that I am committed to this new way of life. <BR> <BR> I have struggled with this all of my life, which is why I have dec... Tue, 29 May 2012 11:32:59 EST Meeting With Surgeon (gastric sleeve, pre-op) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4896583 Well, today I met with Dr. Christopher Edwards. It went VERY well. I also met with the nurse coordinator, and they figure I should have the surgery in a few weeks (no set date as of today). <BR> <BR> I cannot help but think how MUCH Sparks has helped me! The nurse coordinator, Mary is a strong advocate for Sparkspeople, and encouraged me to keep tracking and recording! I am ahead of the game because of all the tools here, amazing. <BR> <BR> So, after waiting and planning since December, I a... Thu, 24 May 2012 19:04:24 EST Paper and Fire http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4883187 She had a dream <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/5/l351105994.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And boy it was a good one <BR> So she chased after her dream <BR> With much desire <BR> But when she got too close <BR> To her expectations <BR> Well the dream burned up <BR> Like paper in fire <BR> <BR> -John Mellencamp <BR> <BR> <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=myo9wXrNUP4 </link> <BR> <BR> Why is it when I get close to my dreams, achieving success, I crash and burn. I think ... Tue, 15 May 2012 20:56:48 EST New Habits Feel Weird http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4880733 Today, I decided instead of staying in bed and immediately getting on the internet to check my e-mail, e-bay, facebook, etc. etc. - and got up, dressed, cleaned the kitchen, made pancakes and bacon for husband and daughter (with stewed spiced pears), and a protein shake for me. <BR> <BR> I feel accomplished, instead of in a rut. I wish I could be so busy in the mornings all the time, why was today different? <BR> <BR> I woke up before everybody. I rolled over and curled around a pillow and... Mon, 14 May 2012 11:22:14 EST Telling Myself NO! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4880017 Here is how the child inside feels when I tell myself NO! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/4/l643253959.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have been telling myself NO. Why? Because it has been my experience with ME that I examined, and felt I lacked discipline. I read where learning to tell yourself no, at first, is rough. I am definitely used to giving in to my every whim, every craving, with little or no resistance. I ate, without a second thought or prick from my conscience. <B... Sun, 13 May 2012 22:38:17 EST