LOVINGMYSELF101's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LOVINGMYSELF101 LOVINGMYSELF101's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ What a Difference 24 Hours Can Make http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6282078 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/d21cdc43-e814-463f-972c-dd41491781bf.jpg"> More energy. Optimistic. Just...happier. How? I have realized, even at my age (47 in 2 weeks) that it is not too late. I have wasted time, convinced that this is my life now, overweight, depressed, and sad. I gave up on myself, I admit. I lost sight of my own self-worth. Forgot my hopes and dreams... laid down, and in an emotional way, died... I let my eyes close, exhausted from fighting, struggling, o... Sat, 17 Dec 2016 11:32:23 EST Never give up... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6281899 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/630c4d5c-8af4-439c-a0d8-91807cdc1510.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f58781e0-c911-4398-ba8c-8d503c112215.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/8594eb1f-25d2-46e1-80ab-3cd4354083e6.jpg"> It is never too late, to become what you might have been. The pain of discipline, far outweighs the pain of regret. I am worth fighting for. Life knocked me to the ground, and I chose to stay there. No pointing finge... Fri, 16 Dec 2016 23:54:28 EST Rocky Wisdom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6281846 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/def05cb8-7851-4740-bad2-f2c1f5e90cd3.jpg"> <BR> Read this.... daily. Fri, 16 Dec 2016 20:28:15 EST I have been lost, broken at heart... now I am ready to heal. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6281838 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f61f9fce-3c97-406b-8919-e24440512a84.jpg"> <BR> 2016 was not a good year. It was filled with my fathers death, depression, failed dreams, disappointments, liars, and worse. I will not relive it here. Only know, I am not in the ground, and although I have been through the inferno of emotions, I have also, somehow, found a spark to pick myself up. I rely on my faith. I cannot stop fighting, this is my life. I will not beat myself up, open old wou... Fri, 16 Dec 2016 20:11:42 EST Low-Carb & Walking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5891328 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1018163892.jpg"> <BR> <BR> So exhausted. Woke up at 5:30am and worked all day, crashed onto the bed and wanted to take a nap. I actually laid down, took off my glasses, and was drifting off. When this little voice whispered... <BR> <BR> You can take this time to make a real change, to show you are serious about this. Only you can get yourself out of this big fat mess you got yourself into. Are you going to just dream of success, or are you... Wed, 11 Mar 2015 20:28:51 EST Why Hate Yourself?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5869718 So much of my life has been spent hating myself. My body, my hair, my everything. <BR> <BR> I always seemed to accept others opinions of me growing up, that I didn't fit into regular society. Clothes only went up to a 14, if you were even lucky to find it. Nothing fit. There were no plus size stores or fashions. <BR> <BR> In school, made fun of to the point of tears and suicidal thoughts. Home was no better, my parents never accepted us or loved us unconditionally because of our size (my ... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 23:16:54 EST Juicing With DH http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5865931 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1428528289.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Just watched the second movie to "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". I realized that (once again) the importance of incorporating raw foods into my diet can help with so many things that I am having right now, headaches, lethargy, joint aches, and others. I also know that I have not been taking my supplements regularly, or drinking enough water. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/9/l295924438.jp... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 12:47:58 EST God help me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5844349 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2119961088.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I turned 45... I am still overweight, depressed, and tired. I wonder if I have it in me to do this again? <BR> <BR> I look around, and see all my failures, I feel so much like a failure. <BR> <BR> I am trying to dig deep within me to find a glimmer of hope that I can change my circumstances, one tiny...baby...step at a time. <BR> <BR> I must, must exercise patience. I must allow myself to NOT be perfect. I need... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 23:41:12 EST Amazing... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828630 I must thank Jehovah for all that He has given me. I am feeling so productive now, cleaning, eating right, I feel renewed, energetic. I am taking my supplements, am active, cleaning, and I feel better. Better than I have in a long, long. long time. <BR> <BR> I am feeling that with God's help, I can do this. <BR> <BR> Never give up. Start where you are. One foot in front of the other. <BR> <BR> ~~~~ <BR> <BR> I am renewing my gym membership so I can start my workouts again. Going to the gy... Sat, 6 Dec 2014 13:41:16 EST Better day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828331 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1308101158.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I am feeling optimistic today. I kept to all my convictions, kept my goals in front of me. I do see how if I don't put food away, it tends to be popped into my mouth. <BR> <BR> Seeing an open bag of chips, or cookies (which I have now thrown out) makes for temptation. <BR> <BR> I went to the store and got some favorites. Oranges, apples, bananas, greek yogurt, and other things to keep me on track. I added hot t... Fri, 5 Dec 2014 21:56:21 EST SO Tired... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5827890 I know that all of us feel worn down, tired, listless. I have also suffered the flu, poison ivy, and a stomach bug all in a row. Not making excuses, but, life happens. <BR> <BR> I am still here, finally feeling like a human again, just some days I am so, so tired. <BR> <BR> The news has also contributed to my state of mind. So much hate, violence, and mis-information fueling an already volatile world. <BR> <BR> I know this is Satan's system, and that it will come crashing down. It is jus... Fri, 5 Dec 2014 02:00:58 EST New Gym In Town http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5797676 In a town so small, we only have one gas station and no traffic lights, getting a 24 hour gym was a true blessing. She took a lot longer than she originally thought to get it open. We have all been wondering and hoping it was going to be earlier this summer, but alas, it didn't open till recently. <BR> <BR> It was worth the wait! <BR> <BR> She put so much money into this building that was empty for so long. All the equipment is BRAND NEW, treadmills, ellipticals, weights, stairs, so much! I... Mon, 13 Oct 2014 21:11:42 EST Wednesday and still going! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5790347 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1326346918.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I know it will be difficult some days... <BR> <BR> I don't want to get up. <BR> <BR> I have a headache... <BR> <BR> I'm sore.... <BR> <BR> But... <BR> <BR> I am worth it. <BR> <BR> I drank my water. <BR> <BR> I took my supplements. <BR> <BR> I prayed, and found the strength to take courage, and just do it. <BR> <BR> Happy Wednesday, there is much to be grateful for... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-a... Wed, 1 Oct 2014 10:49:11 EST Never Too Late... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5789141 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/1/l611861447.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have been working on improving myself lately. <BR> <BR> After I had the surgery, I went through a period of not really caring anymore. Eating became a game of what I could get away with. I know that this is not pretty, or what many would like to imagine, but this is the reality. <BR> <BR> The bitter truth is better than the sweetest lie. <BR> <BR> I am still the same weight for over a year now. I did not gain... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 14:31:42 EST Realizations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548176 I am the same weight as I was the last time I checked in, at least I didn't gain right? <BR> <BR> Still working on it. <BR> <BR> Never giving up. Sat, 23 Nov 2013 04:41:07 EST Saturday Blog, tired... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5245648 checking in... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 21:41:16 EST NEW COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5220655 FINALLY! Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:04:00 EST Update on dead laptop http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5214469 Sorry I have been so 'quiet' lately. I am down about 55 lbs, and been sick with the flu for weeks which has turned into a respiratory infection. I am trying to shake this, but my cough lingers. I also have pain in both ears off and on. Not sure what is going on, some days I feel better, and some days I feel beat up. Weight loss is slow, but going. <BR> <BR> Okay, they sent me the $$$ for a new computer since I had the laptop insured against stupidity, and I got a much, MUCH faster tower desk... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 15:29:31 EST Still No Laptop :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5192035 Well, still no laptop, just checking in real quick. Have been losing weight slooowly, but steady, which is good. Had the flu off and on for weeks now, hard to eat, crackers go down well, but do NOT help with weight loss! Flylady helping for the last few days, progress not perfection. I am chipping away at all my 'hot spots', and it is making a difference. <BR> <BR> I was looking for a book on daily affirmations, or daily motivations.. couldn't really find any! So I took some note cards and w... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 19:02:29 EST Killed My Laptop http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5168927 Howdy. It was the middle of the night, 2 am to be exact. I knocked over a glass of water.... right onto my laptop. I have a warranty, but need to send it in. SIGH, always something! I am so angry that I did something so stupid! The thing is, when I knocked over the glass, I got it right away and felt how much spilt, it was still half full, so I didn't bother turning on the light thinking it didn't spill too much. Unfortunately, the next morning when I opened the laptop, I could see moisture n... Mon, 17 Dec 2012 09:47:08 EST Down over 50 lbs! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5159148 Little update.. got my Apple Bottom jeans! they fit PERFECT!!!!!!!! So amazing to put on clothes that were tight, and now fit... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 10:06:34 EST Down 50, Vent Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5152617 Argggh!!! While I uploaded this, I sent the 11 year old over to check on his mom. She had just come back from town... never called or stopped to even ASK if her kids were ok, and sent them back with an extra kid! <BR> <BR> Do I have 'sucker' stamped on my forehead?? Sat, 1 Dec 2012 13:10:44 EST November Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5137333 Checkin in! Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:36:10 EST 97% Fat Loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5129329 I went to the Dr. yesterday... <BR> <BR> They did a bodyfat analysis. Of the total I lost, 97% was pure fat, only a 3% muscle loss!! They were VERY impressed and said that not many have that ratio, some lose up to 50% fat and 50% muscle loss. For me to have that number shows that I have been exercising. <BR> <BR> I am quite proud. She pointed out that since I am building/maintaining muscle, I may have had an exchange of pounds and muscle which would explain my plateau. <BR> <BR> Of course ... Fri, 9 Nov 2012 08:58:30 EST Giving Yourself a kick in the pants http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5122405 ps, the blue band on my forefinger says "eat better" Sat, 3 Nov 2012 11:10:20 EST Organized http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5121455 How does one become organized? When your house needs SOOO much attention, and there is a mountain of laundry, and your kid has an earache and cough, and (fill in the blanks!) blah blah blah! Excuse excuse excuse! <BR> <BR> How do you get started? Where do you start? I feel guilty sitting here typing when there is so much to do! I feel... no... I know I have fallen so short of the life I want. <BR> <BR> If I was the kind of mom that I dreamed of... I would get up in the mornings. Get showere... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 12:21:24 EST Plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5111139 It was inevitable. I have hit a plateau. Losing and gaining the same 3-4 lbs, not going down on the scale. Not gaining either, just those same 3-4 lbs! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1384403747.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The name of this plateau is "Cascading Plateau"... how fitting. I know that when you lose weight, a natural process it so hit a plateau now and then. I am down aprox. 40 lbs. So my body is adjusting to this new weight. I am exercising more, and weight li... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:29:42 EST Fall in Ozarks MO http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5106422 Here are a few photos I took of the leaves changing. They are more breathtaking than any firework display, more gorgeous than any topaz, rubies or emeralds I have ever seen... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1158075182.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1016779572.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1403638562.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l482071373.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople... Sat, 20 Oct 2012 21:02:16 EST Riding the little rides http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5105498 Well, this week was full of surprises. I am sick, start off with that! But I still did my treadmill, bike at home, went and joined the Community Center a half hour away, and did the weights, elliptical, and swam this week! WOO HOO! <BR> <BR> I fit into my size 22 jeans. <BR> <BR> I did not eat any ice cream, chocolate fudge, truffles or funnel cake at Silver Dollar City. <BR> <BR> I DID ride the little ride with my daughter. I protested to my husband when he suggested that I could fit on t... Fri, 19 Oct 2012 22:52:24 EST Down 41, new milestone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5096621 I'm down 41 pounds, I started at 320 and am today 279. I stared in silence at the scale this morning, convinced that it was somehow a mistake. But it is true, I am consistently going down the scale. WOO HOO! <BR> <BR> I am still tired, exhausted, and recently have sinus issues. I want to feel energetic, and am wondering when I will feel 'normal' again. It has been a month since my surgery, and I am wanting to return to my regular activities. I just feel so drained. I don't really feel any di... Fri, 12 Oct 2012 15:07:02 EST Monday Morning New Starts (AGAIN?? LOL!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5091075 I'm up...and almost awake too! <BR> <BR> <BR> <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3NzlLKMYuQ&<BR>feature=g-upl </link> Mon, 8 Oct 2012 10:06:30 EST Down 35 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5090541 Coping... <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=reKhkjaP1S0 </link> Sun, 7 Oct 2012 21:39:38 EST Down 30 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5080600 still i learn... Sun, 30 Sep 2012 13:09:15 EST FOOD! CRAVINGS! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5072689 Half of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it. -Bill Phillips, EAS Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:10:53 EST Gastric Sleeve Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5062311 Checking In and doing better Sun, 16 Sep 2012 22:24:27 EST Back Home http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5054894 Surgery went without a hitch, perfectly content. Pain bearable, have been walking every hour when awake to keep blood clots from forming. Resting now, love to all and thanks for your prayers. Will post more later. <BR> <BR> (((HUGS))) -Rose <em>214</em> Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:32:50 EST Surgery Tomorrow! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5050835 My video on youtube, posted here for my friends. Love you and thanks for all the support. (((HUGS))) -Rose Sun, 9 Sep 2012 10:44:06 EST Day 4 Liquid Diet Pre-Op Gastric Sleeve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5037372 Just chugging along, wanted to say hi to all of my friends! Thu, 30 Aug 2012 11:44:26 EST Pre Surgery Diet & Thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5032856 It cannot help but come to mind that today is the heaviest I will ever be, for the rest of my life. After years of dieting, most of my life actually, I am on the pinnacle of a whole new life. Starting today, my weight will gradually go down. <BR> <BR> The surgery is definitely a strong tool, but I am not solely relying on it for success. I know that I must do the work. Sparks has taught me some very important things, and surgery is not a sell out on those ideals. I need to be consistent with... Mon, 27 Aug 2012 09:28:27 EST Reminder to My Future Self (pre-op) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5032022 Hey future self! Don't forget how far you have come and WHY you did this!!! Sun, 26 Aug 2012 17:57:14 EST Caffeine Withdrawal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5028956 SO, now that I know I am definitely getting the surgery, I am cutting out all caffeine. Let's face it, I love soda, I do. Pepsi Max, Diet Mountain Dew, and Coke Zero are my all time favorites. I have a beverage by me all the time. I have quit several times before, but you know how it is... Soda is sooo good! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l166661465.jpg"> <BR> <BR> However, now I am having raging headaches. Debilitating, knock you to your knees headaches. Now, ... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 08:32:59 EST SURGERY DATE WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5025333 SEPT. 10, 2012 MY LIFE CHANGES FOREVER Tue, 21 Aug 2012 19:15:09 EST Tired Of Waiting (Gastric Sleeve) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5018193 Sigh, just venting... Thu, 16 Aug 2012 14:08:29 EST Desire of The Eyes. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5010847 She looked at the sales dresses, longingly...and saw that they were something to be desired, and so she shopped. <BR> <BR> Ahhhh.... the desire of the eyes is dangerous! My husband told me to WAIT till next week, but... <BR> <BR> The sale ended Monday. <BR> <BR> My coupon was to expire... <BR> <BR> The dresses I found on clearance were going fast, many were 'Hurry! Only one left!' <BR> <BR> Free shipping for $100 or more! Hurry while offer lasts! <BR> <BR> Oh Boy! <BR> <BR> So, here is... Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:19:59 EST Clothes Chat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5009565 Dreamin' of a new me... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 10:56:35 EST Buying Clothes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5009115 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/7/l972245697.jpg"> <BR> (standard issue fat lady muu muu, no thanks!) <BR> <BR> I want new clothes so bad right now. <BR> <BR> I have to keep reminding myself that buying clothes now is fruitless... I shop online and find such pretty clothes, but there is no sense in my buying clothes that I will outgrow (shrink out of??) in a few months. I have clothes enough to last me for this short period of time. <BR> <BR> I think what it is, is that I ... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 01:33:17 EST Gastric Sleeve Tools, Pre Op http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5006684 Learning to eat in new ways, tools you can use. If you think of anything else or different, please offer suggestions! I would love to hear them! Wed, 8 Aug 2012 13:05:16 EST Official Before Surgery Photos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5006652 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/3/l638888277.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l397403360.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/8/l98971994.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/4/l542106377.jpg"> <BR> <BR> These are my absolute LAST before photos I am going to take. I have taken so many, and never had any after photos. Check out my Sparkpage, look up photos, and you will see at least 3 different attempts at weight loss p... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 12:46:57 EST Tuesday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5005086 Today I am watching four kids, two six year old girls, a 3 year old boy, and a 3 month old. Needless to say, they are NOT on the same page with games, entertainment, snacks or naps! <BR> <BR> I have been watching several videos on YouTube about the surgery that I have decided to get, the gastric sleeve. The stories are amazing. I am starting to actually get excited at the reality of this finally happening. <BR> <BR> Up till now, it has been a roller-coaster ride emotionally. First FIL offer... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 13:05:15 EST Focus! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5003178 I will also take a before video/pics Mon, 6 Aug 2012 09:55:25 EST