LOVE_LIANE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LOVE%5FLIANE LOVE_LIANE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Coasting, coasting, slight veer off track, and I'm back in it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5088856 I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted a blog, holy moly. <BR> <BR> A lot has changed since then, I suppose. I've started working at the restaurant where I worked in high school, and as of two weeks ago, I also work the front desk at my gym. It SOUNDS great (and it is, actually) but it sucks my time away like you wouldn't believe. Up til now, I was doing my New Rule of LIfting for Women routine 3x/week and doing Zumba/Kickboxing/Spinning 6x/week. I lovedddd that - mostly because... Sat, 6 Oct 2012 10:33:42 EST My Saturday Circuits http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5000767 So I said that I'd blog soon about how I'm staying at home and not going back to China. Well, I don't really feel like writing out a big explanation right now, and maybe I will later, but the short version is, since my dad had a stroke a few weeks ago, I feel more comfortable staying home for the next few months to help my family adjust. <BR> <BR> ANYWAY, one of the many many things that staying home means is that I can work out at a gym. I'm planning to start working with a trainer in a few... Sat, 4 Aug 2012 13:27:14 EST a long, frustrated blog in the aftermath of my dad's stroke. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4983071 I think my earliest memory of any kind of nutritional lesson is from like 4th grade. We had this little session on the Food Guide Pyramid and why it was important to eat a balanced diet. I didn't know what "grains" or "carbs" meant, and I was bummed that sweets were on top of the pyramid, which meant I shouldn't have a lot. <BR> <BR> They taught us about the importance of eating healthy; after all, you 9-year-olds don't want high blood pressure, do you? You don't want to have a heart attack... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 11:13:34 EST Results from my training session! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4980584 Met with the trainer, finally, after lots of rescheduling madness. <BR> <BR> We did some assessments and found: <BR> - body fat percentage at approx. 19% <BR> - my ‘body age’ is 19, which is great because I’m actually 23 <BR> - my flexibility needs some work <BR> - strength is ‘excellent’ <BR> - nutrition is right between ‘good’ and ‘excellent’ <BR> <BR> This all kind of means that my UGW of 120 might not be very realistic. That would put me at 15% BF assuming I didn’t lose muscle. That’s a... Sat, 21 Jul 2012 14:10:34 EST moderation is more fun. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4972526 Here's how I know I'm in a good place with my diet and fitness mentality: I don't feel any pressure to be 100% perfect right now. And you know, I'm finding I'm having a LOT more fun without that pressure. So if that means I don't reach my goal of getting down to 120 by the end of the summer, well then...that's fine! I'm healthy, I'm fit, I look pretty good, I'm still maintaining a healthy diet/exercise plan, so while I DO eventually want to take care of these last 10 lbs, "eventually" is the... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 09:47:31 EST My American Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4966903 So I'm back in the states. I've been back for a couple of weeks now. Jetlag is done. Reverse culture shock is...eh, not as bad as I expected, but it still takes me by surprise sometimes. And of course, coming back home has had a lot of consequences for health and fitness stuff - which is fine, I mean, life gets in the way. I can't be perfect ALL the time. <BR> <BR> So between traveling home, sleeping off jetlag, visiting friends in the Midwest for a week, celebrating my birthday, celebrating... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 09:59:54 EST anti-ED mindset rant http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4938761 welp, it's been a bad body confidence night, but don't worry - I've already moved on from my little pity party and now I'm just mad. I'm not mad AT anyone...just this asinine disordered eating mindset that won't seem to leave me alone. I'll have days, weeks, and even months where I'm on the ball. I'm living healthy, I'm taking care of myself, I'm not obsessing, I'm using health self-talk, and everything's bright and cheery and wonderful. <BR> <BR> and then BAM, I eat too much at dinner toni... Sat, 23 Jun 2012 10:35:37 EST a few more days in Beijing, and then I'm HOME. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4937391 I finished teaching. I said my goodbyes. I packed my things. I moved most of my stuff to my new school. I got on an airplane, and now I'm hanging out in Beijing for just a few more days. Late Tuesday night, I'll arrive at Dulles International Airport jetlagged and culture-shocked, but thrilled to be home. <BR> <BR> A few days ago I went back and read my blogs from the beginning of my China experience. I was so scared about gaining weight here - which most women in my program do. When we land... Fri, 22 Jun 2012 09:33:35 EST Dirty Dozen Circuit Workout http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4930970 Found this workout on fitvillains.tumblr.com and I just tried it for the first time. LOVE IT. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l212635715.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Goal: Do as many rounds as possible in 30 minutes <BR> <BR> 12 Squat Jumps <BR> 12 Air Jacks <BR> 12 Pushups <BR> 12 Lie-down, stand-ups <BR> 12 Plank Jacks <BR> 12 Lunges <BR> 12 Reverse lunges <BR> 12 Cobra to Plank <BR> 12 In & Out V-crunches <BR> 12 Split Squat Jumps <BR> 12 Squat Kicks <BR> 12 Tricep Dips ... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 04:05:19 EST curvy vs. fat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4906489 I dunno, maybe I'm a little too harsh on myself, but I always used to kind of think I could just say I was curvy as a euphemism for fat. I'd always just be like "oh you can't expect me to get back into the 120s, I'm curvy!" or "No way I could ever fit into a size 4, I'm too curvy." <BR> <BR> But now that I AM back in the 120's and I AM a size 4, I look at my body and guess what? Yup. Curvy. Not fat (though I mean, I DO still have some extra flub to lose) but legitimately curvy. shapely. Pear... Thu, 31 May 2012 21:17:04 EST crunch time & unexpected craziness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4885542 I'm still going strong on my routine. My eating is still decent. I'm working on incorporating more protein in my diet. But right now, stuff here is more than a little complicated. <BR> <BR> 1 week ago, one of my teammates went to cook her lunch. She turned on her gas stove - which, here, is connected with a janky plastic tubing - and boom, out of nowhere it like straight up exploded. She has second degree burns all down her legs and feet, her stomach and arms are burned, and she's just in ex... Thu, 17 May 2012 10:56:06 EST It really, truly IS a lifestyle, isn't it? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4877860 I can't tell you how many times I've been on and off Spark. A look through my blog history will reveal more "I'm back!" posts than I'm proud of, and when I look at my weight chart over time, it bears a pretty good resemblance to a child's drawing of the Rocky Mountains. <BR> <BR> Since joining SP in 2007, I've yo-yoed. a lot a lot a lot. I've read all the articles about how this is a lifestyle change. I took all these SP quizzes, posted on the message boards, and spelled out my journey on my... Sat, 12 May 2012 02:49:21 EST Stuff my students say http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4873687 It’s probably just because hotter weather = me wearing less clothes, but I’ve had a lot of students comment on my body this week… and I mean normally, that makes me feel way awkward and weird because I have no idea how to respond, but it's also kind of precious because of their limited English and matter-of-fact delivery. In China, it's much more socially acceptable to comment publicly on someone's body, for the better or worse...and comment, they do. So I thought I'd put together some of my... Wed, 9 May 2012 09:55:56 EST Feeling a little better :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4854308 First of all, THANK YOU all so much for the encouragement, thoughts, and prayers. It's really, really appreciated. <BR> <BR> My grandma passed away around 11:45 a.m. on Wednesday - which was my 11:45 pm that night. I got the call at 1:30 on Thursday morning. <BR> <BR> Today has been a much better day than I've had all week. I actually ate a full meal last night (first time since Monday) got a full night of sleep last night (first time since Sunday night) and it's made a world of difference.... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 05:02:50 EST Not so good lately http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4851003 I haven't been doing so great lately. Normally it takes a little bit of processing it out and introspection before I can really understand what's wrong. This time it's pretty clear what's messing me up. <BR> <BR> My grandmother is dying. I got a call on Sunday saying she wouldn't make it through the week. I got a call yesterday that she wouldn't make it through the night. She did - but it's not going to be long. Honestly, I've had to kind of treat it as if she's already gone. I'm in China. S... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 04:05:59 EST Keep on keepin' on (progress pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4844634 It's been a pretty uneventful week, health and fitness wise. I did get a physical at a Chinese hospital yesterday, and THAT was an adventure, but besides that, everything's been pretty normal. I've been sticking with my P90X/Insanity hybrid and that's been great. I'm hoping for big results by the end of this, but looking in the mirror day-to-day, I'm not really seeing them. Then again, I still have 6 or 7 more weeks left on the program - LOTS of time to get some good results. <BR> <BR> Eith... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 21:25:06 EST "Skinny Fat," Fitspo, and well-intended triggers (pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4834162 I understand that "skinny fat" is a real thing - a possible health risk factor, even. I realize that when people warn others against too much cardio/not enough ST, or a super-restrictive diet, they're offering good, solid advice. I realize that most of those blog posts and fitness articles that tell us how to avoid a Skinny Fat fate are genuinely trying to be helpful and supportive. <BR> <BR> However, I've found in my experience that nothing, NOTHING is as triggering as articles and posts ab... Fri, 13 Apr 2012 23:34:18 EST Re-committing to results http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4823079 I think I realize now why I've been so unmotivated and lax with my workouts and nutrition and all that... it's because I haven't been seeing any results. I haven't been looking for results, either. I've been in a maintenance mindset, and so far, I've done pretty decent - I've stayed within a 5-ish pound range of my lowest weight so far. Not too shabby. <BR> <BR> But man, I miss those little non-scale victories - looser pants, losing a couple centimeters around the waist, compliments, progres... Fri, 6 Apr 2012 10:05:45 EST Reminder(s) to self: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4818532 things I need to remember today: <BR> - Between my bone structure, my muscle, and other genetic factors, I will never have the same body type as my students. It is completely unrealistic for me to expect otherwise. <BR> <BR> - Calling someone fat or skinny in China is kind of like calling someone tall or short back home. It’s not meant to be insulting; it’s just considered a matter of fact. <BR> <BR> - When my students advise me to lose more weight, they are genuinely trying to be helpful ... Tue, 3 Apr 2012 12:32:15 EST Not dead! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4811663 I'm not dead! <BR> But I won’t pretend everything is awesome. <BR> <BR> For the past two weeks or so, I’ve been struggling with this sense of depression. I’m not really sure what’s triggered it. My friend thinks the stolen money thing, but it’s not like it’s hard for me to get out of bed or go to class just because there’s no money in my bank. It feels like much more than that, but I can’t identify it. <BR> <BR> I haven’t worked out in a week or so. Which, actually, I don’t feel really bad ... Fri, 30 Mar 2012 02:36:26 EST Yeahhhh, I'm gonna need to re-evaluate my nutrition goals. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4786905 So I've decided to do a hybrid of P90X and Insanity, instead of just P90X classic. Yayyyy me! I'm gonna get back into great shape and nip all this "cheating" in the bud. Woo-hoo! <BR> <BR> So I go check out beachbody.com. I don't have the P90X or Insanity nutrition plan, but I see on their website they have a caloric needs calculator which gives info based on which specific program you're doing. Great! <BR> <BR> I input everything : <BR> Goal - "Lose the last few pounds" <BR> Program- P90X ... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 08:58:43 EST Finally got my head back on straight! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4774886 Whew. That was a turbulent few weeks - gripping for control over every single bite and calorie and kilogram, experimenting with "normal" life, a few binges, a few decimated jars of peanut butter, and a little stomach flu, buuuut I think I've finally got my head back in the game. <BR> <BR> I started P90X Classic (last time I did lean) and this time, I'm using the resistance bands I bought myself for Christmas. <BR> <BR> Oh. my. gosh. <BR> <BR> Today was Day 3 - Shoulders and Arms - and it ... Wed, 7 Mar 2012 02:46:01 EST Owning up to emotional eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4764829 It's been a bad month, guys. <BR> <BR> I feel ashamed for the way I've been treating my body, and it makes me sad that I've shifted my view of food from something that can fuel and sustain me to instead something that can cure my problems. <BR> <BR> It can't. <BR> <BR> It's been a good month, too. I've started classes again. I've been way more organized and on top of things related to school. I've been having a lot of really meaningful interactions with my students, and it's been encouragi... Thu, 1 Mar 2012 08:51:03 EST At what cost? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4747213 Let me start by saying that I absolutely, positively, 100% believe every adult should prioritize proper nutrition and adequate exercise in order to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle. I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe that, and I don't think anything I'm about to say in the rest of this blog takes away from or diminishes that. Not at all. <BR> <BR> However - we all know that this part of life is time consuming and sometimes costly. In addition, health and fitness can also become ... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 08:35:00 EST lessons learned this week: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4742785 - In addition to peanut butter, I'm putting Blue Diamond almonds on the list of foods I can't keep in the apartment <BR> - Based on that list, it appears I only ever crave fats, hah <BR> - My students love to bring me food from their hometowns. Sometimes it's delicious, sometimes it's bizarre, and if it's from Hainan, I'm adding it to the list of things I can't keep in the house. <BR> - I could eat a day's worth of calories in coconut coffee candy, if I wanted to. Which is unfortunate, consi... Fri, 17 Feb 2012 02:12:54 EST Finally, honest-to-goodness, for real this time, READY to get rid of my scale http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4733644 I've tried to quit the scale before. Most of the time, though, that would result in one of two things - the out of sight, out of mind thing, where I'd end up pretending just because I didn't have to look at a number every morning, my diet didn't matter - OR - I'd just end up sneaking a peek (or two...or three) even when I knew I shouldn't. <BR> <BR> But really, I think I'm finally READY to give it up this time. What's different this time? <BR> <BR> Well, for starters, I'm happy with my body... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:16:48 EST The "little black dress" & other thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4731762 First of all...here's a picture of that little black dress I bought in Shanghai! I still can't believe I can wear a form-fitting size 4 dress and NOT look like a beached whale. Wearing that dress to the banquet last week felt sort of like a coming out event for my new body. THIS is the body I want, and it's the one I have. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/0/l80650839.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Anyway, I want to follow up a little on my last blog. About a week ago I had some ... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:08:14 EST fears and freedom. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4724492 Like anyone else, ive had good days and bad days on this journey. But for me, this time, the bad days have looked like justifying 900 calorie intake or 3-a-day workouts. It's not surprising that as I've traveled and felt no control over my situation, and as ive considered what todo next year, I started gripping the reigns on my diet really tight. On the plane to Thailand, I actually made a pro/con list about whether I'd eat a banana. <BR> <BR> Not ok. 2 days ago, I TRIED to eat an ice-cream... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 03:25:48 EST I shouldn't have http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4711234 I had a bunch of really fantastic reasons to not weigh myself until I got back home in Nanchang. And I thought that'd be easy enough to abide by, cause really, where am I gonna weigh myself on vacation? <BR> <BR> Well, I accidentally noticed the pharmacy next to my hotel had a medical scale, just sitting there, beckoning me to come and test how good I've really been on vacation. <BR> <BR> So I went, knowing it was probably unwise, expecting to see a higher-than-normal number. <BR> <BR> 5... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 22:47:34 EST The death of 'all or nothing' http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4706376 It's taken the better part of five years, but I think I've finally overcome the 'all or nothing' diet-driven mentality. I know that's a big claim to make and I know the all-or-nothing mindset IS still present in certain areas of my life, but this vacation has been a major victory for me. <BR> <BR> Every other time I've tried to lose weight, I've done really well - up to a point. I've done weight watchers and sparkpeople and struggled with various ED behaviors, and I've seen varying 'success... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:38:18 EST One of THOSE people http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4694210 Growing up near DC, I've always seen - and envied - THOSE people. The ones who run at the mall around all these beautiful landmarks, in front of hundreds of people, with no shame or fear or embarrassment. I've always been jealous of them, wishing I could be that athletic or that confident. So when we got to our hostel last night and saw how close it was to the Bund, and how well lit and safe and not crowded it was, I was thrilled. We traveled for 12 hours yesterday and I was exhausted, but wh... Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:12:00 EST Travel time! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4685956 Welp Sparkfriends, in just a few days I'll be headed out for an Asian adventure! Traveling with a friend to Shanghai for a few days, then Nanjing for a few more, and then beautiful, sunny, WARM Chiang Mai, Thailand. I'll be back on February 8 or so, and I'll be sure to take lots of pictures and blog about my experience when I get back. <BR> <BR> Thinking about what diet/nutrition is gonna look like on this trip is a little scary, but I think it'll be totally manageable. FIRST, it will give m... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 03:30:33 EST Friday the 13th lived up to its fame, haha http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4678087 Oh man, I've had to deal with all kinds of ish today, it's not even cute. I won't bore you with the details because it was all really, really minor stuff, but you know those days where all that minor stuff just adds up, and you're tired, and you're hungry, and absolutely nothing is going right? <BR> <BR> Yep, that was today. And with all those little minor frustrations and some unfortunate um...hormonal fluctuations that completely explain my 1 kg weight gain...I made a couple choices I shou... Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:51:34 EST Ohhhhhh sweet potato. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4677499 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l158775831.jpg"> <BR> <BR> this is my new favorite thing about China. yeah, it’s a sweet potato. I never liked sweet potatoes at home. <BR> <BR> In the winter months, street vendors roast sweet potatoes in these giant iron drums. no sugar, no salt - just sweet potatoes. you walk up to the vendor, choose one, and 2.5 kuai later (approx. 40 cents), they hand you a potato and a plastic spoon in a little to-go bag. <BR> <BR> it is the PERFECT ... Fri, 13 Jan 2012 01:02:57 EST The scale is stuck. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4675351 and I’m trying not to stress too much about it. I weighed in the other day and saw 60 kg — which would be a 1 kg gain. And I thought, “oh, no big deal, I KNOW I didn’t eat enough calories to warrant a true gain. It’s probably just water weight, it’ll be gone tomorrow.” <BR> <BR> Nope. For the past 5 days, 60 kg. Yeah, I've been weighing daily the past week - but only in the hopes of seeing it drop back down to 59! <BR> <BR> I’ve been eating around 1400-1600 cals/day and I’ve been keeping up... Thu, 12 Jan 2012 04:17:05 EST My mental dialogue, and learning to shut my feelings up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4668145 Logic: Hey look, you ate within your recommended calorie range for today! The fat content was a little high, but that's only cause you had a little more peanut butter. Great job! <BR> Feelings: Yeah, WAY more peanut butter than you should have had - and don't forget that handful of Sour Patch Kids. You know what this means, right? <BR> Logic: It means today was a little off and tomorrow will be better. That's what it means. <BR> Feelings: Or you could go run a few miles. It's only 10 pm, you ... Mon, 9 Jan 2012 09:34:24 EST Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle - and goals for incorporating what's practical for me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4663825 Oh man, CJ was right. Tom Venuto's "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" is a really, really fantastic book that's giving me a lot to think about and helping me find ways to optimize my health and fitness. <BR> <BR> But in my situation, not all of the advice is practical, so I really have to adapt it. Right now I'm on the chapter on frequent eating. I'm totally seeing the reasoning behind it, and honestly I think it would make me feel much, much better to eat 5 smaller meals in a day, but it's gon... Sat, 7 Jan 2012 11:06:50 EST Projecting my "fat feelings" on others http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4659251 Yikes, I've slipped into a dangerous place mentally - and somehow I'm only just realizing it. I guess that's what having absolutely NO responsibility and tons of time on your hands will do to you, right? <BR> <BR> Anyway, during this whole weight loss journey thing, I've been pretty proud of myself for the way I've improved my self-talk from last year. I don't use negative motivation anymore (if you don't go to the gym today, you're going to be fat forever). I don't call myself names (fat, b... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 10:50:34 EST Xin Nian Kuai Le! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4650571 Or, in English, Happy New Year! <BR> <BR> I hope everyone had a really fantastic holiday season! And as fun as they are, I'm really glad most of the special events are over for a while. I was pretty strong for Thanksgiving, not very good for Christmas, and by New Year's Eve, I was definitely in the mindset of "It's a holiday! I totally deserve 4 slices of pizza, 5 cookies, and half a bag of sweet potato chips!" <BR> <BR> .... yeah. However, all the choices I made on NYE were conscious and ... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 08:57:11 EST Yikes, where's the re-set button? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4637644 First of all... Merry Christmas, spark friends! i hope everyone is having a happy and healthy holiday! <BR> <BR> But of course with Christmas comes a lot of temptation - and what with it being the end of the semester, I'm feeling really worn out. That's a dannnnngerous combination, friends. Skipping 1 day of exercise has since turned into skipping 3 days, and my diet has been all over the place since Thursday. I've been walking more the past few days, but that's nothing compared to my usual ... Sun, 25 Dec 2011 04:05:28 EST New Year, new focus http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4635751 Only a week and a day left in 2011!!! And wow, has the year been full of change. <BR> <BR> I (re) started my weight loss journey at the very very end of 2010, buying a 3-month subscription to Weight Watchers with the Christmas money my cousin sent me. I lost about 25 lbs during my last semester of college. I graduated, went home, and in only a few months, regained almost all of it due to the stress of preparing for China. <BR> <BR> August 1, 2011, I got on a plane for Beijing. I found out ... Fri, 23 Dec 2011 00:30:05 EST Not SEEING the results I want http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4625987 Okay, so in place of the scale, I rely a lot on progress pictures to keep me motivated and proud of my accomplishments. I made incredible progress from September - October. And then from October - November, I did a great job and definitely saw some noticeable difference. <BR> <BR> But from November 15 - today, I'm seeing nothing. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/5/l751164462.jpg"> <BR> November 15, 2011 <BR> <BR> annnnnnd... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.spark... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:21:07 EST Online shopping & new sizes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4623638 My no-scale experiment has certainly been enlightening so far. I've found that yes, I CAN and I DO still make good choices even when I'm not weighing myself every day - so there goes the "it keeps me honest" excuse. Maybe that's true for others, and that's great, but I'm finding I don't NEED the scale to keep me honest right now. That in itself is a victory. <BR> <BR> So yeah, I'm finally used to the idea of not seeing immediate progress. On the other hand, though, I am still reverting to wh... Tue, 13 Dec 2011 05:55:32 EST Winter weight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4618940 Ohhhh boy. This winter is gonna be tough. It took a long time to get here (2 weeks ago the weather was in the 70s!), but winter is finally here - and the cold is absolutely inescapable. It's not yet gotten below freezing, but when you live and work in concrete buildings with no heat... yeah. it's always cold. Like, today I wore 2 pairs of long underwear, my work pants, a tank top, long thermal t-shirt, a sweater, a cardigan, another cardigan over that, and my peacoat - and I was still shaking... Fri, 9 Dec 2011 10:37:23 EST Complete Honesty http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4612821 Ok, so obviously in the past few days I've been pretty stoked about reaching 132 and being only 2 lbs away from my goal weight. And I absolutely SHOULD be proud, because I've made incredible progress. <BR> <BR> HOWEVER, I'm quickly realizing, as I get closer and closer to my "deadline," that the whole "reach _____ by ______ day" is just straight up playing with fire for those of us who have struggled with EDs. Seriously, it's mentally and emotionally irresponsible of me. <BR> <BR> I should ... Mon, 5 Dec 2011 07:18:55 EST Progress!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4611333 Only a few more weeks in December, and I'm down to 60 kg/132 lbs. My goal by NYE is 59 kg/130 lbs. So close! The scale moves slowly, but my progress is undeniable and I'm feeling really proud today. I've been sick for the past week or so. I've modified and skipped workouts. And today was supposed to be Plyo X - the hardest, meanest, baddest P90X workout. <BR> <BR> And I did it anyway. A few times I felt like I was gonna faint, but I paused, regrouped, and kept going. <BR> <BR> <img src="ht... Sun, 4 Dec 2011 01:08:24 EST Catching up to 132 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4608338 This morning, my scale told me I weigh 60 kg. <BR> <BR> Put that in the little converter thingy, and my weight is 132.2 lbs -- and I can't believe it. Not in a "oh my gosh I'm so proud of myself I did something great!" kind of way. It's more like I SEE the number 132, but my mind says that's impossible - I still FEEL 145 or 150. <BR> <BR> I haven't been 132 since I was 16 or 17 years old, and now that I'm back to it, I'm kind of puzzled, like, how did this happen? Even more, how did I let... Thu, 1 Dec 2011 19:04:14 EST Setting an ultimate goal weight? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4592112 I see a lot of blogs and stuff where people post their stats, like, "Well I'm 5'5" and 200 lbs and my ultimate goal weight is 130." And I've always done that, too. And I've always stopped way before I even got close, so what I'm experiencing now is a litte different. <BR> <BR> My next MAJOR goal weight is 130 -- less than 5 lbs away. When I get to 130, that will mean I've lost 40 lbs since last Christmas. It's also probably what, back in August, I would have considered my ultimate goal weigh... Sun, 20 Nov 2011 07:45:12 EST woo-hoo, Wuhan! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4591167 awjefljafgaogjwpk;falmknj I'm so tired from today, but I just finished a workout, so now I'm not tired (well, mentally). So a recap of today's events: <BR> <BR> Woke up at 630, left the apartment at 7, on the bullet train at like 745 en route to Wuhan, the capital of Hubei province. Wuhan is a bigger and more modern city than Nanchang, and we were hoping to hit Starbucks and H&M. <BR> <BR> Arrived in Wuhan, got lunch at a Western (ish..) restaurant called "Grandma's Kitchen," then went to ... Sat, 19 Nov 2011 10:40:30 EST Am I crazy, or are those (almost) abs? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4586813 I still have a long long way to go before I'm at my ideal, whatever that is. But damnnnn I think I'm starting to finally see some abs! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/6/l461102719.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The scale isn't moving like I want it to, but my progress pics are keeping me happy! Wed, 16 Nov 2011 09:54:41 EST