LOVEAZ's SparkPeople Blog LOVEAZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Small victories Today's small victories: <BR> <BR> *Accepting myself and being grateful for it. <BR> *Putting down the aspartame-laden garbage and drinking water. <BR> <BR> I can't cease to keep making better choices. Still in this healthy thing to be alive in a few years. <BR> <BR> Small victories. Tell me your own. <BR> <BR> PS: 24 pounds gone. Can't complain. Thu, 14 Nov 2013 14:34:38 EST Be joyous. Celebrate humanity. Show kindness. Today I choose to be joyous and celebrate my fellow human beings. Tomorrow, I choose the same. <BR> <BR> Tell me how you have shown or are going to show a spark of kindness to your fellow human beings. Yesterday I made more healthy lunch than I needed and brought the leftovers to work for coworkers. (I'm no celebrity chef, but anyone can mix three or four ingredients and come up with something edible!) <BR> <BR> Wed, 23 Oct 2013 23:14:39 EST A Space for Non-Scale Victories (add your own!) 1. I can fit in pants that are a size 22 now. No more going to stores, trying on the biggest pair of pants I can find in the store, and walking out in disgust because the biggest pair of pants I can find is too small. <BR> <BR> 2. I'm officially the lowest weight I've been since 2004. I'll simply take this as a victory, thanks. <BR> <BR> 3. I really don't care what anyone says, I'm going to lose weight. Period. Full stop. <BR> <BR> (space reserved for future victories) <BR> <... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 00:27:03 EST Big, audacious, amazing goals! I've hit my one big goal: to get past thirty days without giving up. That's the goal that I needed to achieve to even think about other goals. And now it's done. 31. <BR> <BR> So without further ado, a few audacious (but SMART) goals: <BR> <BR> *Walk 10 miles. (Did 6.25 miles on some trails this morning, so that's not unreasonable.) <BR> *Do an overnight hiking trip. <BR> *Lose 10 pounds per month for the next six months. <BR> *Run a 5k distance. (Again. This is not my first go... Sat, 5 Oct 2013 16:28:25 EST Day 26: Forward Progress Day 26 and usually by now I have thrown in the towel, screamed bloody murder a time or ten, and decided that weight loss is so not worth it. I'm not feeling it this time. I've had some bad days. I've tried to throw it all down the drain more than once. I've definitely gone a lot more slowly than I could go, because there have been more than a few days where I eat from the frustration of how slow weight loss happens. I've had days when I got stressed from whatever the stressor of the day ... Mon, 30 Sep 2013 09:34:48 EST Willpower: MIA I think my willpower headed north for the summer. It appears that any emotion, no matter what, will trigger some form of emotional eating. Even having food available will trigger eating. Happiness, sadness, desolation, confusion, they all lead to eating poorly. <BR> <BR> Remind me that if I don't get this weight off, I'm not going to live to see forty, and I'm well into my thirties already. <BR> <BR> Fri, 20 Sep 2013 23:09:26 EST Day 12: My emotional eating nemeses Ever see those quizzes about emotional eating, where they try to find if you suffer from portion distortion, mindless munching, carb craving, or fat loving (or similar categories)? I'd like to state that I fall in the category of yes. Yes, I suffer from all of the above disordered eating habits. I eat way too much. I have to finish everything on my plate (starving children in Africa, don'tyaknow). I eat mindlessly at night. Carbs are delicious! So is fat! I absorb the eating habits of... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 01:24:49 EST Week 1 Complete: I have found my nemesis. Week one done, and so far no major disasters. This is good. I have found my nemesis though. This is not as good. My nemesis is the evil of going out to lunch. At work, there's no place to eat. If I try to eat at my desk and carve out a few minutes of time to myself, I get interrupted with requests or comments. If I try to eat in the lunch room, it gets randomly taken over by higher level management. The only way to escape is to go out to eat somewhere. I look to make smarter choices ... Wed, 11 Sep 2013 21:55:35 EST So. Looking for hiking pals. (Major beginner! Arizona!) I need a hiking pal or three. People who want to go a bit past walking on flat land, but not someone who can scale a thousand feet in an hour. I'm really just starting out on this, but I'm nervous about going out on something a little more challenging without knowing that I'm not the only one. I'm starting out with 2-3 mile easy loops around mountains where you might gain 300-500 feet elevation and can finish in two hours or less. <BR> <BR> Let me know, I'm dying to branch off as it get... Mon, 9 Sep 2013 22:08:21 EST Day 4: I'm not a reality TV star. I'm also terrified of Monday. I have spent the past week obsessively watching reality TV weight loss shows. Guess what? I'm not a TV star. I dream of losing weight at a pace rapid enough to see progress, but I don't have a trainer. I don't have the luxury of taking a week off to go to boot camp, or free healthy food for a year. None of this is an excuse, but I'm just going to have to go more slowly, and keep waiting to get healthier. My instant gratification desires are not amused. <BR> <BR> Now comes Monday. My... Sun, 8 Sep 2013 21:56:48 EST Beating myself up for bad choices...and it's fantastic! I've heard over and over how you shouldn't beat yourself up for a bad choice that happens once. At some point, that stuck - but not in a good way. I'd make a bad choice and say, "Oh well. Bad choice. No problem." I forgave myself to morbid obesity. I made excuses to the point where I can barely move. I held myself up to no standard at all, and my life goals are almost impossible. <BR> <BR> So today. Awful choices. I'm beating myself up miserably - and it's fantastic. I need to fe... Thu, 5 Sep 2013 00:27:57 EST Tracking the Non-Scale Victories I've had so many lately I think I'll forget if I don't write them down! <BR> <BR> *Stared at birthday cake twice without even thinking about eating a piece. <BR> *Worked out at least every other day for 10 days. <BR> *Found Zumba a whole lot easier the second time. <BR> *I can alllllllmost reach my foot with my same arm in back of me. Just a leeeeeetle bit less fat, yo. <BR> *Stayed within calorie ranges 5 days of 7 so far. Here's to 6 next week. <BR> <BR> That's just scratching t... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 22:32:09 EST It takes four days to create a habit. Or thirteen, or twenty two, or whatever the experts say. Frankly, I don't care. If I do something over and over again, it becomes a habit. <BR> <BR> It's right now day three of my commitment to new health. I'm feeling all the emotions I did on every other day three in my past. Commitment, perspiration, anxiety, all that. <BR> <BR> Girl, just keep on moving. It's called bringing sexy back! Tue, 10 Apr 2012 23:26:23 EST Running again for the first time In high school, I enjoyed running, even if I was never very fast. Scratch that - I was interminably slow. I was fat (or so I thought back then) and had short legs. That doesn't do much for being a runner. <BR> <BR> Now I want to try running again. The sounds only of your feet on the ground and your breath echoing around you is mesmerizing, perhaps even a form of meditation. It was beautiful. <BR> <BR> It just doesn't feel the same anymore. I know why. I'm out of shape, I'm fifteen... Sun, 8 Apr 2012 20:48:58 EST Maintaining when it all seems like a chore? Exercise is a chore. Eating right is a chore. I don't like doing my chores. So what do you do to keep going when doing the right thing for your health is about as appealing as doing laundry or doing dishes? I need some inspiration right about now. Fri, 8 Apr 2011 01:35:03 EST Spiritual well-being: talking about God Today while browsing a bookstore as an excuse to avoid exercise, I stumbled upon a vast trove of books about Christianity. It was the standard collection of books about the Bible, spiritual growth, how to be a better Christian mom in five days or less, that stuff. It dawned on me all of a sudden that there were so many people I knew who talked openly and consistently about their faith. They always have the perfect Bible verse on hand. God's presence is everything in their lives. <BR> <... Sat, 2 Apr 2011 22:33:43 EST Making a better me - the whole picture I need to improve my nutrition and exercise more consistently. This I know. Few people I know have it down to a totally consistent life of eating and exercising with perfect balance and regularity. Nevertheless, there's so much more to a healthy life than just nutrition and exercise. <BR> <BR> Relationships - don't forget about the important people in your life. If you don't nurture the important and valuable people in your life, it makes for a lonely and solitary life. Never forget to... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:25:41 EST Spark Buddies! Since I never know just what to say, I'll say little. Met the fabulously awesome Sara72121 on Sunday and we had a lovely time browsing an arts festival and meandering around town on the terribly exotic light rail. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, here's a thousand words: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Tue, 29 Mar 2011 22:53:27 EST Almost three weeks... And I have just taken two days off exercise. I'm emotionally eating again because I feel like a drama queen. <BR> <BR> Discipline. That's what I need. I don't know what else to say either, I'm still so emotionally unfocused that it's nearly impossible to form a coherent thought so I try to exercise it off. Tue, 29 Mar 2011 00:54:52 EST Take a Hike While the weather is beautiful. It may be a few more months for many of you, but it's fantastic right now in Arizona. <BR> <BR> I decided to go out by Bartlett Lake on a trail billed as a fairly easy 2.6 miles with a bit of up and down, but nothing much. Yeah. Right. I've gone on trails billed as moderate to difficult that were easier than this. I was looking forward to a walk in the park, not two hours of cardio. On the plus side, I'm sure it was fantastic for my waistline. <BR> ... Sat, 26 Mar 2011 22:44:28 EST Confessions of a post-teenage drama queen This year, I have fallen off the wagon and gotten back on more times than Carter's has little liver pills*. I have worked out more and watched food intake more than I have in any 12 month period for years before. And yet, I'm right where I started. <BR> <BR> So why did I get back on the wagon this time? I'd like to be all inspirational and give some good reason. There is no good reason. I was thinking a bit constantly about a certain gentleman I'd love to know a bit better who's movin... Fri, 25 Mar 2011 01:46:01 EST Do I want to live or die? That's the choice I make with each movement I make, and with each bite I put into my mouth. I spent thirty years choosing mostly to die. Now I have to spend the rest of my life choosing to live. No cake tastes as good as another few years of life. No cookie is as delicious as being able to move. <BR> <BR> The question is not whether I'd like another cookie or whether I'd like to skip going to the gym. It's whether I'd like to live or whether I'd like to die. My life isn't anywhere ne... Tue, 22 Mar 2011 21:41:46 EST I'm eating poison But it's so delicious. I have no willpower once I have paid money for it. I keep nibbling. The garbage would be better. What will win? <BR> <BR> PS: It's Diet Coke. I know the artificial sweeteners aren't so great, but I'm not ready to let go of my Diet Coke. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Sat, 19 Mar 2011 17:28:35 EST The eleventh day of my new life That would be today. I notice that the less I make a major event of starting a new life, the more likely I am to stick with it. <BR> <BR> I'm four pounds down from my start. I'd like to think it's all healthy eating and exercise, but mostly it's probably monthly fluctuations. I'm not picky though. <BR> <BR> I'll keep up with you all from time to time, on day 11 and 45 and 103 and 392 and 3987. Off to enjoy the beautiful day! Sat, 19 Mar 2011 10:53:56 EST The next chapter... the same as the one before. Major life upheaval, meet new people, enjoy new friends, repeat cycle. <BR> <BR> Each cycle (which all seem to last maybe a few months or a year anymore) teaches a few lessons. At least lately I have distracted myself with exercise and religious practice. <BR> <BR> But yet, each time, the cycle of friends ends and I have to start all over. I'm more reluctant to even bother each time. Tue, 15 Mar 2011 23:55:05 EST Fitness lessons from the best athlete ever <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Not Michael Jordan. Not Tiger Woods. Well who is it? <BR> <BR> Me. <BR> <BR> A few years ago, I was a runner. In high school I ran track two years and cross country three years. I was also amazingly slow. I never won a race, or even came close. I once finished 340th out of 340 people, behind a lady with a leg cramp and a sprained ankle. I don't recall ever finishing any better than fourth from last, and... Sat, 15 Jan 2011 01:35:11 EST Embarrassing Reasons to Lose Weight #582039 I work in an office that is the epitome of makeshift. It's a gutted 70s mobile home that is stuffed to the gills with files and desks and random office stuff. The worst part? It's small. The walkways are tiny. And I have to navigate sideways through the place, as if I were on an airplane. <BR> <BR> Whenever anyone wants to pass in our narrow walkways, I apologize and tell them I'm getting smaller. <BR> <BR> I can't keep apologizing for taking up more space than I should take up. Thu, 6 Jan 2011 01:03:39 EST Mini goal achieved! More fitness minutes in January 2011 than in all of December 2010 already! <BR> <BR> To do this week: <BR> *Rewrite 2011 goals to be more specific and concrete. <BR> *Put positive messages on sticky notes and leave them around my house. <BR> *Share healthy goals with others. It scares me to try to talk about weight loss with people who have ten or fifteen pounds to lose. I don't get how the journey is even the same, although it is. For some reason, I'm a bit scared about this and I do... Wed, 5 Jan 2011 01:23:45 EST Specific and positive resolutions Healthier choices: <BR> <BR> Each day I will make a choice that involves doing something healthier as opposed to something less healthy. And each day I will write it down. <BR> <BR> 1/3: Today I did back extensions as soon as I got home from work. <BR> <BR> Go to Mass: <BR> <BR> I will go to Mass each week. Pretty cut and dried. <BR> <BR> 1/2: Went to Mass. Thinking I need to find another Mass time. I don't like morning Mass. <BR> It is much more formal than my personality. ... Mon, 3 Jan 2011 20:48:57 EST Resolved. Each new year, like the one before, signals a new beginning and a new time to commit to better choices. So here’s to better choices in 2010. May 2011 be an even better year than the one before, though that’s going to be a lofty goal! <BR> <BR> I resolve: <BR> <BR> * To make healthier choices. Each moment I eat something, I’m contributing to a healthier, longer life, or conversely to an unhealthy, shorter life. I have to remind myself each second that I want to live and want to move ... Sat, 1 Jan 2011 16:18:45 EST Blessed beyond measure This year I have been blessed beyond measure. <BR> <BR> I spent months pursuing an upwardly mobile career only to find myself nearly jobless by forces I had no control over. I ended up evicted and living in seedy motels and counting every speck I ate to save a buck or two. <BR> <BR> I got a new job. Just a way to make it, making much less than I would have been on a career path, but I figured out how to survive. I learned that people are people, and everyone can be a friend. I found ... Wed, 22 Dec 2010 20:35:33 EST Healthier choices for the holidays It's the holidays again, that time of year where families gather, children laugh, and I get depressed. It's a cycle of life, like the moon waxing and waning. <BR> <BR> Things are different. I am determined that I will find reasons to live, to make healthier choices, and to survive a few years longer. I have spoken with friends lately who remind me of what happens when one leaves diabetes and obesity unchecked. It's terrifying. I was shielded from it in my youth, although diabetes and ... Tue, 21 Dec 2010 22:26:35 EST In the arms of two men. Named Ben. And Jerry. I'm sure I'm not the first one to use that cheesy line. <BR> <BR> I'm here only for a few moments, just to say that I'm working on being more accountable. Just grilled up some tofu. That will probably give me a taste for ice cream. Those two guys are evil. <BR> <BR> I'm joyous and optimistic lately, with a bit of cautiousness but for now I'm having fun. <BR> <BR> Cheers! Fri, 26 Nov 2010 21:57:25 EST Better living through chemistry? Not more than three weeks ago, I met a new friend. I wish this were a heartwarming tale of a new puppy or kitten, but this one's human - well, insofar as all the people I have met on the internet so far have been human. Human friends are good too. <BR> <BR> I am also a worrywart. It comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I have a very nervous and anxious demeanor. So when I meet my friend and we speak of some of our struggles, I begin to worry mightily. I tried prayer. I kn... Mon, 20 Sep 2010 00:10:42 EST Evidence of my errors, in living color. I meant to say something a lot more profound, and I will, but I was just taken aback by this evidence of my recent poor eating habits. I only wish it were just a little bit more poignant. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 15 Sep 2010 15:03:40 EST Lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks! I'm sure we've all seen the headlines like the above. They are splattered like roadkill all over our society full of size 0 models and photoshopped bikini babes. <BR> <BR> So when I say I'm losing weight, the above is what comes to mind for most people. They expect that I'll be losing huge amounts of weight. I've been at this since about July 1. They say most people lose 1-2 pounds a week, but at my size I can lose more. So by now I should be down a good 25-40 pounds, right? Nope. I... Wed, 8 Sep 2010 14:05:45 EST Call the whaaaaambulance for me. I don't want to eat healthy. I don't feel like going to the gym. The stupid excuses and justifications are taking over my life. <BR> <BR> Call the whaaaambulance for me. Give me some cheese to go with this post. I know what I need to do, and I have the willpower to do it. <BR> <BR> The end. Short one today. Mon, 6 Sep 2010 20:47:13 EST My most awesomest emotional eating story (with pics!) One of the things I've learned here about emotional eating is that being aware of one's emotional eating triggers is an important step towards decreasing emotional eating. However, when I hear about this, it sounds like people seem to be able to easily identify the emotional eating triggers, but find it difficult to control them. <BR> <BR> Me, I have had to back up another step. I've been stuffing every single emotion I have with food. Bored, stressed, happy, sad, ecstatic, overjoyed, d... Thu, 2 Sep 2010 18:58:47 EST What am I doing this for anyway? There comes a time in every loser's life when they have to sit down and ask the big question. Why in the world am I doing this? Why am I depriving myself, sweating, and being all body-obsessed? As I lay in bed last night reading The Spark, I figured out why I'm doing this. I'll need to remind myself of this often. <BR> <BR> ****************************************<BR>***** <BR> 1. I don't want to be dead by fifty. <BR> <BR> I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the age of 28. Bot... Sat, 28 Aug 2010 00:08:24 EST The scale is finally moving. I think I can say the scale is finally moving in the right direction. I may have weighed myself at 279 lbs around early July with clothes on and maybe 270 is naked, but my clothes don't weigh 9 pounds. I think what this is is progress. <BR> <BR> I'm exercising more and eating less (except for my latest cookie binges). Now all I need to do is find that tape measure! Wed, 25 Aug 2010 13:11:12 EST A tale of my gym quests Inspired by a blog entry asking for input about joining a gym, I wrote a response about some of the gyms I have either been to a few times or joined over the past few years. Most of them were thanks to a year of great corporate wellness benefits that allowed me to see many gyms without paying extra. (Then I got laid off....grrr.) Here were some of my impressions about a few of the gyms I visited. <BR> <BR> ****************************************<BR>************ <BR> <BR> Gym A <BR> <... Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:20:17 EST A tale of my gym quests Inspired by a blog entry asking for input about joining a gym, I wrote a response about some of the gyms I have either been to a few times or joined over the past few years. Most of them were thanks to a year of great corporate wellness benefits that allowed me to see many gyms without paying extra. (Then I got laid off....grrr.) Here were some of my impressions about a few of the gyms I visited. <BR> <BR> ****************************************<BR>************ <BR> <BR> Gym A <BR> <... Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:20:16 EST Falling off the wagon It's not a bad fall. It's more like stumbling, or maybe tripping on the wagon. But here I am, three days of eating so much I gain weight, and then I skip cardio one scheduled day, and I feel like I'm gaining weight again. <BR> <BR> It's well past time to do vision statements and look at my goals. I just hate writing them down. It makes me commit. I hate commitment, it limits options. That's probably why I'm still single at thirty. ;) <BR> <BR> I think I need serious help in making ... Sun, 15 Aug 2010 01:27:04 EST Celebrating small victories I don't have to hit my ultimate goal to celebrate small victories. <BR> <BR> I just put on a shirt I haven't worn in a month. It was tight a month ago. Fits perfectly now. My weight has stagnated, but if I look better, I'll take that! <BR> <BR> Small victories. One small step at a time. Tue, 3 Aug 2010 00:12:05 EST This is not my body The other day, I looked down and for some reason touched my legs. They're different. Then I tried my arms. They're different too. I looked at the mirror. Everything is different. <BR> <BR> While I still have loads and loads of flab to shed, the muscles underneath are starting to gain some tone. My body looks different. My skin seems better (until the saggy bit starts to happen). <BR> <BR> This is the body of someone else. I'll take it though. Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:44:05 EST Curbing cravings Exercising more is fairly easy. It's the demons of eating healthy and eating less with limited money and resources that slay me. But even with practically nothing to start with, I'm finding options that work. <BR> <BR> Today I am craving pancakes and sausage. But since I have no stove or freezer, I don't have that around. So instead I grabbed a banana. Suddenly bananas seem like a much better idea. <BR> <BR> I'm still kind of hungry fifteen minutes later. A second banana will do. Fri, 23 Jul 2010 09:52:39 EST How do I set goals? There are so many different goals a person can set when it comes to being healthier and losing weight. I just don't know which goals I need to set, or how to set them. I frequently get overwhelmed by options and end up doing none of what I need to do because the options overwhelm me. <BR> <BR> Maybe I should start with a simple weight goal, broken down into increments. <BR> <BR> High Weight: 297 (eeeeeeek) <BR> Starting Weight: 281 <BR> Current Weight: 275 <BR> Goals: <BR> 250 - 10... Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:39:20 EST It's becoming a lifestyle. I'm feeling better. I'm starting to feel good after working out. I don't have to live in the gym to reap benefits, and I'm at peace with my decision not to worry about working out as long as I do 30 minutes of cardio three times a week. I can feel myself becoming stronger and healthier. <BR> <BR> Now all I have to do is conquer the emotional eating beast and I'll become the incredible shrinking one! Wed, 21 Jul 2010 00:08:53 EST Gaining weight I'm now at 281 lbs. I started 16 days ago at 276 lbs. <BR> <BR> I can't afford to gain weight. I will give this 30 days, but if the scale keeps going in the wrong direction, I will have to start sitting on my duff and eating bon-bons again in order to keep from gaining more weight. <BR> <BR> I don't want to have to give up. But if I'm getting adverse results, why continue? Any help out there? Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:22:34 EST Day 15: still going in the wrong direction I am flustered. <BR> <BR> I am more tired and sleeping more fitfully than before I began trying to exercise and eat at least a little healthier. I'm getting headaches and am cranky. The scale hates me. <BR> <BR> I'm going back to the gym today, because I have to do this for my life or I'll be dead by fifty, but I'd like to feel good about it, not miserable. <BR> <BR> Excuse me while I gorge on more M&M's. Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:46:04 EST