Almost Finished With THIS Step

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:02:14 EST

To clarify to myself what dates of what:

~ Wednesday May 16th: Chuck and I met with loan officer (for the 2nd time.)

~ Thursday May 17th: Chuck and I were to start cleaning out and organizing the garage at 4:30 pm, but we got into a whopping fight that almost came to blows between us. We finally got started about 5:30, when we were able to settle down. Then we did do good work.

~ Friday May 18th: We were to start work at 4:30 pm but we got into a whopping figh...

Good-By Garbage!

Sat, 18 May 2013 10:55:34 EST

I spent a good hour crying yesterday. Unless I am in a depression it takes a whole lot to make me cry. But the stress lately has (almost) brought me to my knees. I feel like crying again today cause Chuck woke me up early with banging, when I hadn’t even yet gotton 6 hours sleep. And, I have to work my butt off today on that little sleep.

Yesterday Chuck and I were to start working on the house about 4:30 pm, but first we got into another whopping fight. At least this one didn’t al...

Fisticuffs, Handcuffs, Heart Attack, or 6 Feet Under? Or Surviving...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:38:08 EST

It's really bad here. Yesterday it almost got physical between Chuck and I. My nerves are a wreck. My resting pulse is running 90-103.

Today I went uptown and was harassed by a pervert. Had other stressors at the hospital. The stress is so bad lately I feel like I will soon be in the hospital or 6 feet under.

We have 3 days (Friday evening, Saterday, & Sunday) for Chuck and I to get the house ready for appraising at a high enough value to get the loan. So lots and lots ...

Past & Current Stats: Like’n The Progress

Wed, 15 May 2013 16:49:43 EST

Weight at Re-Start of Journey: April 7, 2013 @ 189.0 Pounds @ 45.4% Body Fat
After ONE Day Dieting: April 8, 2013: 187.2 lb @ 45.2% Body Fat

Starting Measurements: April 8, 2013:
~ Neck: 13.5”
~ Waist: 40.5”
~ Hips: 44”
~ Upper Arm: 15.25”
~ Upper Thigh: 25.75”
~ Rt. Calf: 17.5”
~ Waist to Hip Ratio: 0.91

Recent Measurements
~ Neck: 13.25” ……………..……. (- .25”)
~ Waist: 39.5” ………..……..……. (- 1.0”)
~ Hips: 43.5” ...

What's On Your Brain? - Enjoy The Pics!

Tue, 14 May 2013 22:04:01 EST

Here's Some Interesting Pictures:

Are you eating right for your brain health?

Neat Pic: Brain of Hands

Neat Pic: Head of Hands

Brain Sections

Sorting Out ‘Fasting’ Issues. Will The ‘Anger/Rage’ Reaction Go Away?

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:48:40 EST

I have ‘fasted’ 6 separate days.
~ Sunday April 20. A good fast day. Minor anger issues.
~ Tuesday April 23. A good fast day. Minor anger issues.
~ Friday April 26. Window installers here all day: hammering, sawing, dogs barking madly. MAJOR STRESS DAY! Major anger issues.
~ Sunday April 28. A good fast day. Minor anger issues.
~ ~ ~ Started as a ‘Fast’ day, but with all day shopping in the city I couldn’t follow through.
~ Tuesday May 7. A--C Siding Company her...

I Am SO Furious Right Now!

Mon, 13 May 2013 16:43:30 EST

Last week I got an estimate for siding from several contractors. A--C was here for 2 1/2 hours, even though I told him several times, “We have to wrap this up.” With all the stress I have been under, to have ONE contactor sit here for 2 1/2 hours just ‘burned me’. AND, while he was here he for some danged reason decided to tell a dirty joke.

Well, last week I called and set an appointment for today at 4 pm. I need him to come back and do an estimate for replacing the big picture w...

New Shrink --- Mini Vacation. Ahhhh…

Sun, 12 May 2013 22:18:13 EST

Thursday I went to the city for my first appointment with my new therapist/psychiatrist. I expected about 1 1/2 hours for the ‘intake appointment‘, but it was still going after 3 hours, so I put a stop to it as the bus I had taken to the city was definitely waiting for me by then.

My old psychiatrist, when I told her I had an appointment with this one, rather ‘poisoned the well’ by saying, “I have never recommended anyone go to her.” So, I really didn’t think I’d like her, but I re...

OMG! Drowning In Decisions. Which Siding? What Qualities? What Cost?

Tue, 7 May 2013 23:28:36 EST

Well, I just spent 2 1/2 hours with another siding guy. omg!

I have gone over just about every product; the pros, the cons, and the costs thereof. It takes a WHALE of an effort to get down to the nitty-gritty of each product.

I had interviewed a few siding guys and really got no real answers to the qualities of their products. One company (I‘ll call him ‘company A‘), when I asked him what the mill d...

Today: I Have Too Much To Do For The Energy I’ve Got

Tue, 7 May 2013 14:34:45 EST

Today is my ‘FAST’ day. I ate a can of tuna, a huge salad with a tsp of olive oil and my vitamins for breakfast. I’m hungerrry!

Today I have a ton of stuff that I have to do.

Today I have a ton of calls that need made. I hate doing calls, cause someone always says “they’ll call you back” and then they only do so WHEN you give up waiting for them and get on the phone to call someone else.

Today I have a couple of orders I need to do, and a couple more that I su...

Walking The Dogs (Enjoy the Pics!)

Mon, 6 May 2013 22:27:38 EST

Yesterday I walked the two dogs for 20 minutes. Getting out the door was the hard part, cause as soon as I got my ‘walking belt’ (belt holding various needed items) on they went nuts.

Tonight we walked 48 minutes. I would have been a tiny bit longer but stopped and visited with a neighbor.
20

Yesterday was 70 degrees and total calm, as was today. Absolutely perfect weather. We ar...

Hurry REALLY Fast. Then WAIT 2, or 3 Months…

Mon, 6 May 2013 19:16:48 EST

I went with Chuck to the appointment with the loan officers for the home repairs. He is to hurry as fast as he can and get ALL KINDS of papers to them: from all the various estimates from the main contractor, to plumbing, to the windows he just installed, air conditioning, to electrical; and then 2 years back tax filings, social security card and license, etc. They want this BEFORE they will even do the application. Then they have to send the appraiser out, and depending on his estimate of th...

Bruised, NOT Broken. I WILL Stay Strong.

Sun, 5 May 2013 16:36:37 EST

The last couple of days of having to have quite a lot of contact with Chuck once again made me wonder how I survived (at all) 16 years of actual living with him - at a time that the abuse was MUCH, MUCH MORE INTENSE.

The last 2 days have been intensely stressful. He knows he can no longer punch me, get in my face, etc. so most of his abuse now is very passive aggressive: turning every little thing into an emotional torture, scaring me with his driving, telling me, “I’m sorry. I won...

Really Discouraged Right Now - 5 Hours Sleep

Thu, 2 May 2013 16:40:30 EST

Mocha had gotton so that the nights I had him (when Chuck was going to have to go into work early the next day), that Mocha slept well in his crate. But, last night he tossed and turned, and flipped, and made lots of noise like he used to. I think this is because Chuck went against my wishes, and has no longer been having him crated at night; I think this has been going on the last week or two. And so once again Mo...

A H#ll of A Night - & Another Harried Day --- He Only Made It 30 Hours

Wed, 1 May 2013 23:58:15 EST

First off: it has been 7 days since I dyed my hair and it turned out ‘Carrot Top Red’. The first few days it didn’t really fade but the last couple it’s fading more, and is now down to a rather darker dull red. The red is dulled down by the natural ashy blonde color of my hair. Still though, it looks nice on me, and still fits my complexion well. It probably actually fits my color better than if I had the hair color I actually wanted, which would be a very much lighter color, like ‘Strawberry...

A Harried Day --- Finishing Touches On ‘My Plan’ --- Weigh-In

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:17:51 EST

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:.:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:.:~*~:. .:~*~:

:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:.:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:.:~*~:. .:~*~:

I spent the day dealing with contractors, either on the phone or at the house, to get bids for the siding issue.

First I got an ‘opinion’ for what would need done from someone who has mostly retired from the business, ...

Was Having Severe Problems With My Page Today

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:46:43 EST

I don't know if Sparks was having problems, or if the problem is due to the local connection problems that were going on, but after I had my page up and loaded, it suddenly disappeared. I thought I was losing my page forever. Then all connections to Spark People locked up. I tried repeatedly to get into Sparks but it kept locking up - if it even loaded at all. I finally got my page back open, but couldn't open anything on it.

I spent a couple of hours with local internet service, a...

The Good, and The Evil. Hurt Again. - To Fork Over $$$ Or Not?

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 19:55:46 EST

Well, I’ll speak about the good first. Today is my ‘fast’ day. I had to get out and drive on the highway this morning, so I was a bit concerned about driving with my usual ‘fast’ day breakfast (usually fish & greens). So, to insure I could drive safely, I started my day with fish, almost 3/4 cup of fresh baked sweet potato, a tsp of olive oil, my ribose, and vitamins. Total calories for breakfast = 375.

Then I ran over to the next town to take care of business, and then business in...

After The Happy, Comes the Fall. But, I Know What I Have To Change…

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 20:04:54 EST

Last night I was really sick all night from the sweets and gluten I ate yesterday (especially the gluten). My nasal turbinates swell badly, my muscles become weak, I can hardly lift my weight up, my bladder becomes weak too (waaaa!), and the worst of all is that the gluten puts my bowels in very painful knots, and when the knots start letting go, lots of gas. And, lots of reflux too. So, I had a very rough night. I finally got to sleep, but woke up 2 1/2 hours later, was awake in misery for 1...

Pinch Me! I Think I’m Dreaming.

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 00:25:59 EST

Since I’ve have been started doing fasts it seems my life has just transformed.

I know this is NOT just from the fasting. I started getting back on plan with my ‘healthy food plan’, and getting off gluten and dairy on April 7th. I know those changes alone make a huge difference in my functioning and mood. But I have also changed the T.V. programs I watch, and am watching much fewer heavy programs; I’m ...

I Forgot to Post My Stats

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:52:32 EST

What with all the stress from all the noise with all new windows being installed, the dogs barking for 4 hours during the first part of the day, and Mocha busting my lip open when he jumped too vigorously into my arms, with only 4 hours of very poor quality sleep last night, and then fasting today... well, I forgot to post my stats. By the way I will be very thankful when this day is over, as I am hungry, exhausted, and my mood has sucked today with all of this going on!

There is a...

Changes? Success? Failure? How Bad Do I Want It?

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 14:46:29 EST

Yesterday I had that party that I went to. To begin with I did really good, though I did ‘partake’ of the sweets. I have been having sweets on my non-fast days, and have had no problem in controlling my intake. But yesterday my old “All-Or-Nothing” thinking kicked back in, and I acted like the WHOLE day was a party! And, so I went and bought a jelly filled donut, and then I had another 12 oz Pepsi, and then I had (a) handful of chocolate kisses, a couple of mini salted nut rolls, and a couple...

SO Much To Say. Like When Don’t I? LOL

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:13:50 EST

The day started out with snow, but then turned into a howling wind that is still going on. It’s a dreary, nasty day out there. Times like this I am SO glad I don’t have to go out.

My fast yesterday was fantastic! Much easier to deal with than the first time (last Saterday), but even the first time wasn’t that bad. Yesterday I was actually LATE getting my second meal in, and so it was so close to bed I was concerned about eating that late at night. Well, I didn’t have to worry, beca...

Fasting Day, With ‘Hinderance’

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:07:41 EST

I made the mistake of telling Chuck I was going to be ‘fasting’ again today. Well, he just cannot stand for me to be doing well, feeling well, and accomplishing! So, he made sure he made a whole lotta noise this morning and woke me up after only 3 3/4 hours sleep!

As it was I hadn’t been able to go to sleep at a reasonable ti...

5:2 Brought Dramatic Changes In Energy & Mood!

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:20:36 EST

Yesterday I couldn’t believe my energy. My energy yesterday was the highest I have had in (I don’t even remember the last time it was that high). I was able to brush, then bathe, and then clip both dogs (hours of work!). And Mocha is no simple job; he actually gets STYLED! To make him look pretty as a Chinese Crested can look when they are all decked out. And he does know he is pretty!

Surprisingly last evening Shatzi followed Mocha’s example and took really well to his grooming. ...

Started Fasting Doing The 5:2 Diet --- Weights & Sleep

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 17:55:44 EST

I was planning to start the 5:2 diet anyway, as I had already ordered the book. But then Thursday, April 18, and Friday, April 19, I ended up bingeing so bad that I was thoroughly and totally upset with myself. I didn’t think I could stop my sugar binge by ‘just stopping’ so I figured the way to ‘get off that wagon’ was to go on a ‘FAS...

Sick Today With Sugar ‘Hangover’

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:18:18 EST

Last night when I went to bed I went into tachycardia from all the sugar I had eaten during the day, and from dehydration from not hardly drinking much in the way of water yesterday. Thankfully it only lasted a short time, but still today my heart is pretty ‘fluttery’.

Last night when I went to bed I got just a twinge of what was to come; I got just a twinge of a headache. Then 5 1/2 hours after I went to bed I woke up plainly in a migraine. I took a couple of Tylonol to twart it a...

Apparently Today Is ‘Binge' Day --- Weights. & Sleep

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 16:45:24 EST

Today I went to the food pantry for a few supplies, and of course when I go there I get sweets that I wouldn’t otherwise have in the house. So today seems to be a binge day. Then I will freeze the rest and ration it out over the next month. Cause I (am) going to succeed in losing weight!!!

I was having a bit of energy and feeling like doing some work, but after eating a boatload of sugar my energy totally tanked. I guess I could say “that this day is a perfect reminder of why I wan...

Fantastic Day - Introspective Musing - Weight Losses - Sleep Amounts

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 00:03:30 EST

I’m short on time because I got on here late.

I had an absolutely beautiful day.

Got out and about, got my hair cut in a new style, spent a couple of hours at the local coffee shop reading, got my mail and in it are a couple of new books I ordered to study about my thyroid and adrenal issues ($25. & $40. a pop!)

My low albumin levels have been weighing on me. And then today I read that after ...

I Love Shoveling Snow!

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:25:58 EST

(IF) I get any energy, it is always late in the evening (part of severe adrenal fatique). So, last night at 9 pm I had about all the stress I could stand from the dogs, and felt driven to get away from the dogs, and to go out and shovel the snow that was still blocking me from getting the car out.

Chuck had used a big snow remover in the afternoon to remove the 34 inches height of snow blocking the garage door, but for some odd reason he quit when the job was about 2/3 done. He ha...

More and More I Wish…

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:39:56 EST

Today promised to be a beautiful day. The snow brightened things up beautifully (gone were the dreary browns). I took lots of snow pictures. Shocking pics! This is the worst storm we had this year; actually the worst snow we‘ve had in several years. The hood of the car was covered, drifts everywhere, and when the snow slid off our metal roof in a huge avalanche, it put the snow in front of the garage doors literally 34 inches deep (yep, I measured it). I couldn’t go anywhere if I wanted to, b...

Lost 4.2 Pounds This Week - Analysis of ‘Fat Behavior’

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:24:05 EST

Well, I lost 4.2 pounds this week, but still am at exactly the same percentage of body fat. That ‘feels’ frustrating UNTIL I calculate out the figures.

Last Sunday I weighed in at 189.0# @ 45.4% body fat = 85.8# fat & 103.2# lean (lean is muscle, bone, & fluids).

Now I am at 184.8# @ 45.4% body fat = 83.9# fat & 100.9# lean.

This tells me that I lost:
~~ 1.9# fat
~~ 2.3# lean.
That ‘lean’ loss is almost surely mostly WATER WEIGHT!
The poi...

2 Months Since Diagnosed With Low Albumin Levels. That Is What Is Prompting My Change!

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 17:52:40 EST

Today I (comfortably) did 30 minutes on the treadmill (up from 25), and was able to slightly increase my speed. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. My weight is decreasing nicely, and my body fat percentage is going down. Yeah!

About yesterdays blog… I really shouldn’t complain that much; things ARE going better this time than usual when I am ‘on plan’. For one thing I only had the CHILLS that one afternoon. In general my energy and mood has been better than other times I was 'on plan'. (...

Dr. Oz Talks About The Reasons for RAGE

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:09:16 EST

I went on my diet late Sunday afternoon April 7th (really just changed from eating junk to eating healthy, but not counting calories). I did good at sticking to it and felt better physically by being off the junk foods, and Tuesday April 9th, my morning blood sugar had (in only 2 days) dropped to 83. That was really nice, but then my (usual) ‘dieting problem‘ hit me in the afternoon; the CHILLS. Thankfully they passed quickly (unlike the usual when I diet, and they just get worse and worse)....

Adult Colic

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:15:51 EST

I haven’t accomplished much of anything (yet) today. I had a mild meltdown early in my day when I couldn’t find a couple hundred dollars of my stuff, but then ‘remembered’ where I had moved it. That’s why I absolutely hate rearranging my stuff, because then I won’t have a clue where something is. Cause when I move something I still habitually go back to where it (used) to be.
24

I did go out and pay a couple of bills and stopped for lunch (gluten free). Oh by th...

It’s Starting Already

Tue, 9 Apr 2013 22:45:05 EST

Sunday evening I got back ‘on plan’ after a week of intense bingeing.

~~ Last night; 2 1/2 hours before bedtime I had a plate of greens, a small dish of fresh blackberries, and a spoonful of fish oil. This morning my blood sugar was DOWN TO 83 (after ONLY 2 full days on plan)! So, yes, when you feed the body right it wastes no time starting to rectify the issues in your body. Course it takes a lot longer than a couple of days to ‘set things right’, but already changes have started...

Holy Moly! 3.2 Pound Weight GAIN This Past Week!!!

Mon, 8 Apr 2013 15:04:51 EST

Well, I had a long time to get chillin’ last night. It took me until 2 am to get to sleep, but once I went to sleep I slept well. I’m not yet fully ‘chilled out’ today, but doing better. I think… My mood still rather sucks though.

I think I have the ‘almost spring’ drearies. I am itching to get outdoors, yet the weather is still cold and dreary and not inviting to do anything outdoors. I hate this time of spring. The snow has been gone, but the weather is dreary and overcast, and t...

A Busy Week (for me…) (Watch Out! A Rant.) NOW I Gotta Get ‘On Plan’!

Sun, 7 Apr 2013 22:25:23 EST

This is what I'm doing, but really "packing on the pounds"!

My so-called marriage makes me want to eat, eat, eat. Cake.
{{Course 'I' am responsible for dealing with my feelings. Just that right now I am 'not' dealing too well with them.}}

And, I'm eat...

God Can Use You (poem)

Thu, 4 Apr 2013 13:19:59 EST

God Can Use You

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David...

Pomegranate Juice to Help Break Sugar Addiction - 'Just Black Cherry' As A 'Sleep Tonic'

Wed, 3 Apr 2013 19:18:54 EST

I have been HEAVY into the sugar again for quite some time now. If you read my previous blog today you will see what my plans are.

Yesterday I bought a bottle of unsweetened Pomegranate Juice.

I am using about 2.5 ounces of Pomegranate Juice on ice and about 3.5 ounces of Club Soda. This is to help me break my addiction to sugar in a way that is feasable to me.

Shutting Off THE Brain

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 21:57:00 EST

You know how it is; a thousand (or more) negative thoughts go through our brain in the course of a day. Often we don’t even realize it is happening because it is just SO ‘normal’ to us, and because thoughts flit in and out so fast it often doesn’t even dawn on us what was just in our mind.

These thoughts ruin our minutes, hour...

Today…

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 20:08:25 EST

It’s been a good day, though I have accomplished absolutely nothing today except weighing in and re-doing my page (that took a LOT of time).

My weigh-in was better than I expected it to be. I expected to gain my usual (as per the past 3 weeks) of 1.25 #, but instead I remained the same weight and just went up in body fat percentage. That’s not good but I could have gained the pound and a quarter AND gone up much more in body fat percent. It is what it is. But, I gotta start doing b...

A Moment In Time That All That Is Unclear Becomes Crystal Clear

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 18:25:59 EST

I believe that each of us knows instinctively what we need and what is right for us - if we listen to our gut instincts. The problem is that there are many things in our life complicating our ‘listening’ ability, and so we get mixed up as to what ‘message’ to follow or listen to because there is so much ‘noise’ in our life and in our he...

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