LILBLKDRESS09's SparkPeople Blog LILBLKDRESS09's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Day 4-5 (Remainig positive) It has only been a few days since I have started to try take responsibility for my weight. But it hasn't been easy. I suffer from depression. I have never sought out help for it except for one time when I was 15 and I begged my father to let me talk to someone. I was diagnosed with chronic depression but once the doctor recommended that I get on medications to control my depression my father stopped taking me. <BR> Some days I find it hard to wake up and I don't have energy to do anything... Fri, 9 Jun 2017 18:30:45 EST Day 3 (changing plans) Last night I didn't sleep so well, My son kept me up again and I didn't wake up in time to walk of blog. But I instead of beating myself up I changed my plans and walked after dinner and am now blogging before bed. <BR> Life sometimes gets in the way of our goals. We need to just pick up the pieces and move on. Thu, 8 Jun 2017 01:55:46 EST Day 2( Setting things into motion) Yesterday was a good day I logged all my food and I walked for 30 min, right now the plan is to blog on spark people and to log everything else with my fit bit charge 2. <BR> My son kept me up all night with his tummy ache and when my alarm went off I just wanted to hit snooze, but I realized that if I don't keep up with my plans of walking 30 min the morning I wont be able to work myself up to running my 5k in October. So I got up and I walked I feel better! I also plan on blogging ever... Tue, 6 Jun 2017 10:07:35 EST Day 1(Again and for the last time) I am starting over yet again and this time I am dedicating myself for one whole year. I don't know what may come in this next year all I know is that I am 20 pounds heavier then I was this time last year and if I continue to ignore my health I will end up diabetic or with even worse health problems. <BR> It has taken me a long time to learn to love and accept myself as I am. And I do I really do I love myself. The many times before on here were attempts to lose weight so that I could feel b... Mon, 5 Jun 2017 10:44:22 EST Day 1: All about me Every year I let my goals fall to the back burner because I care about what people want and think. No more! This year is all about me. I will and can do this. One day at a time. Let's make this a good year everyone. Sun, 1 Jan 2017 14:03:53 EST This sucks! I promised myself, but this year, this year was the year that I was going to lose all the way! But all I've done this year is hover over the same five pounds that I keep losing and regaining over and over again. I am so over it! I will lose the 30 pounds that I want to lose before my 30th birthday in February. I can do this! Wed, 9 Nov 2016 11:54:20 EST Running I have had a cold for the last few days, so this morning was my first run in about 3 days. I ran for 35 minutes straight! It felt so good. I can't wait to run tomorrow morning and see how much faster I am getting. Never give up on your dreams even if they seem impossible. I am going to run the half marathon in may even if I have to walk some of it. Have a great Sunday everyone and remember you are the maker of your own dream. Sun, 9 Oct 2016 13:08:11 EST Day 144: finally done! We moved this week and we are finally done! I am so excited for my run today, I have missed running these last 3 days but now I can begin a normal daily regiment. My goal for this month is to be able to run a 5k without stopping. Happy First day of October everyone. Sat, 1 Oct 2016 07:54:25 EST Day 148: three days This is day three of running a mile and it feels great! Why did I ever stop running? Tue, 27 Sep 2016 10:03:15 EST Day 150: Running first mile in over 6 months This morning I ran my first mile on the treadmill in over 6 months and I ran the whole thing without stopping!!! I am sooo excited about this. I for the first time am excited about turning 30, I know that 30 doesn't seem like a big deal for most people, but for me it is a major turning point in my life. I have always put myself on the back burner. But I am ready to start taking care of myself.. as silly as it sounds ( or dramatic) I am at the half way point of my life and as I am looking aro... Sun, 25 Sep 2016 11:49:30 EST Day 175 Today I thought about everything that I do for my family, everything that I sacrifice so that they have what they want and need. I get up at 2:00 am every morning to make my husband's coffee and pack his lunch. Then I take a nap and then wake up to get my kids ready for school and feed them pack their lunched and then drop them off. Then I work for 8 hours come home cook clean and usually stay up finishing things around the house. I always put myself last. Then to make it worse I reward myse... Tue, 30 Aug 2016 01:15:44 EST Day 176 I have been sick with a cold for the last two days, I feel like crap. I am just trying to stay hydrated for now. Weigh in is on Wednesday. I hope that I have a loss. Sun, 28 Aug 2016 18:24:45 EST Day 178 To say that I over ate today is an understatement, but I tracked everything that I ate. It amazes me how much I end up eating on a daily basis. I can't say that it's because I am hungry, I honestly think that I am eating to fill a void. But this void that I am trying to fill is just leaving me more empty then I have ever felt. I get angry with myself because I know what I have to do, but yet can't find the daily motivation that I need to power through the struggles. Tomorrow is another day,... Thu, 25 Aug 2016 23:44:15 EST Day 179 Damn you little Debbie and your cakes! I ate one too many of her treats this morning, but I won't let it derail the rest of my day. I can still have the cake and stay on track. Happy hump day everyone. Wed, 24 Aug 2016 11:46:00 EST Day 180 It's officially 6 months until my big 30th birthday. I have managed to stay on track for the past three days, I am excited to see the end of these next 180 days. Tue, 23 Aug 2016 19:24:27 EST Day 181 Today is officially 181 days until my 30th birthday. I have always set a goal of losing x amount of weight before a certain date, but I never achieved it. I always told myself that it was okay, because at least I wasn't 30 yet and I still had time. Well my time is running out and I refuse to be over weight for the next 30 years of my life. I am taking charge! I am going to be more active on sparkpeople and create a post everyday. I need to start being accountable for my choices so I will also... Mon, 22 Aug 2016 09:16:40 EST Out of your control There are many things that are sometimes out of your control. Recently I have had to learn to let things go and learn to allow them to run their course. Learn to appreciate the small things and live your life to the fullest. <BR> <BR> I am so done with stressing out and allowing the stress to consume my life. I am letting go and washing my hands of al the things that I can not control. Wed, 4 May 2016 17:55:57 EST Just go with it I am taking each day as it comes... Nothing will keep me down. I am on a good path right now and I am plan on keep on keeping. I am going to see 200 by my son's 4th birthday! Just believe in yourself. That is all that matters! Tue, 3 May 2016 19:24:24 EST Day 1: Starting over Sometimes in life you just have to start over. This doesn't mean that you are a failure or that you are less then worth it. It just means that life happens and you just have to get back up and try again.! Thu, 31 Mar 2016 11:47:44 EST Day 60: life happens February proved to be a difficult month for me. I didn't eat or workout the way that I would have wanted. But with starting the spring semester at school and having not only my birthday but my husbands birthday we also celebrated our wedding anniversary. So I decided to not take a month off, but more or less not stress the process of losing weight for the sake of focusing on other things, I haven't weighed in, in about 2 weeks. I will have my first weigh in this Friday 03/04/2016. I am hoping... Mon, 29 Feb 2016 13:33:24 EST Day 40: Don't give up Some weeks will show progress and others wont. Just keep going. Don't stop eventually the scale will catch up with you. Tue, 9 Feb 2016 11:31:42 EST Day: 34 Stress This last week has been hard for me. With starting school and having month end at work I have found myself wanting to do nothing but sleep. All of last week I had a huge headache with prevented me from sticking in my running schedule and I feel like I have been failing. But I am back at it today. I will not fall back into my old habits.. I think maybe my body just needed a small break. <BR> <BR> Happy Wednesday Everyone! Wed, 3 Feb 2016 12:51:17 EST Day 29: Keep pushing This weeks weigh in only showed a loss of .2lbs but before I allowed myself to get upset. I told myself. It is progress, I didn't gain. <BR> <BR> A loss is still a loss no matter how small. <BR> <BR> Happy Friday! Fri, 29 Jan 2016 11:58:39 EST Day 25: First day of school I am looking forward to this semester. It is the first semester that I have enrolled into more then one class. I am nervous but excited as well. <BR> <BR> Happy Monday Everyone! Mon, 25 Jan 2016 12:53:08 EST Day 20: Month One is almost over The first month of 2016 is almost over. I have 2 more weigh in's before we are officially in February. I can't believe how far that I have come. At this point I am now just dreaming about getting under 200 lbs. I don't want to lose motivation and I don't want to lose momentum. I am taking it day by day and trying to focus on changes that I know I can manage. <BR> As I am approaching my 30's ( Next year will be the big year) I am no longer interested in having a perfect body, I am more int... Wed, 20 Jan 2016 19:24:09 EST Day 19: This is not about Perfection ( MS has changed how I view life) So many times before when I would start to try and change my lifestyle (because that is what this is, this is not a diet) I would go in with the all or nothing mentality. But this time it is different, I have different things motivating me this time. My families health is on the top of my list. Since my husbands diagnoses of MS it has been hard to swallow. It made me realize that I was stressed over things that were out of my control. I hate that my husband getting sick finally made the light... Tue, 19 Jan 2016 12:26:57 EST Day 12: Believe in yourself No Matter what believe in what you are capable of doing. No one has the right to make you feel like you can't achieve something. You are your only hurtle. <BR> <BR> Happy Friday Everyone! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> * Don't know where I found this? But I love it! Fri, 15 Jan 2016 14:09:18 EST Day 11: Plan Your biggest weapon is to plan, plan and plan. Plan your meals, plan your sleep, and plan your workouts. <BR> <BR> It sounds silly to have to plan sleep, but the truth is that most of us don't get enough sleep. <BR> <BR> Don't get discouraged, just keep pushing towards your goals. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> ( Not sure where I found this) <BR> <BR> Happy Monday Everyone! Mon, 11 Jan 2016 11:45:44 EST Day 9: push yourself <img src=""> <BR> Today I ran for 24 min on the treadmill and 1.25 miles so much further than I have in a long time. Sat, 9 Jan 2016 20:17:59 EST Day:7 do it anyway <img src=""> <BR> I didn't feel like working out today, but I decided to anyway. Sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other and fake it until you make it. Fri, 8 Jan 2016 02:39:36 EST Day 6: Small steps It is only the first week into 2016 but I am proud of myself for not eating out and for keeping up with the workouts. I can't wait to be writing about how 6 months into 2016 I am still doing keeping up with it. <BR> <BR> In order to succeed you have to envision. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I don't remember where I found this. But it is so true. <BR> <BR> Happy Hump Day everyone! Wed, 6 Jan 2016 17:21:34 EST Day 5: Standing naked I read an article on yahoo today that talked about boosting your self-esteem <BR> here it is: <BR><BR>-you-should-do-1332515371655222.html <BR> <BR> It basically talked about giving yourself time to admire your naked body in front of the mirror after you shower. Admire your beauties and your flaws. I have to say that I started doing this about a year ago. I started to actually stare at myself in the mirror, at first it was hard. But I no longer shy ... Tue, 5 Jan 2016 17:26:57 EST Day 4: This girl is not lost This past week I managed to lose 1.4 lbs and it was not hard at all. I am done going into this with the all or nothing mentality. I am going to do this right this time. I turn 30 in 14 months and I refuse to turn 30 obese. <BR> <BR> This is when I was my happiest with my body <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am still her. I have not gone anywhere. The number on the scale will no longer determine how much I love mys... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 11:42:10 EST Day 3: still running <img src=""> <BR> I began my mile a day on the treadmill on 12/31, so today was day number 4 and my legs were stiff. I need to hydrate more threw out the day, and stretch. I am going to start adding a minute a day to my work out on the treadmill. Right now I am currently doing 20 min. Today I added 1 minute. Sun, 3 Jan 2016 22:28:03 EST Day 2 <img src=""> <BR> I ran on the treadmill this morning even though I was very tired and had zero motivation. But I fought through it. After wards I spent an hour cleaning my house. I am going to take a nap and then go shopping with my oldest daughter, we are having a girls day. Happy Saturday everyone. Sat, 2 Jan 2016 16:26:08 EST Day 1: the new year <img src=""> <BR> My husband actually took a picture with me for the new year. That in itself is a great way to start the new year. I ran on my treadmill this morning, day one is already a success! Happy new year everyone. Fri, 1 Jan 2016 14:22:00 EST One resolution for 2016 is to write about something good that happens everyday with maybe a picture? I will start tomorrow! <BR> <BR> Happy New Year Everyone! <BR> <BR> Here is a complete list of my goals for 2016 <BR> <BR> 1. Lose .5-1.0 lb a week. <BR> 2. at least 20 min on treadmill everyday/ <BR> 3. put $100.00 in savings every month. <BR> 4. Pay 2 credit cards off. <BR> 5. Finish all of my pre-reg's for the Nursing Program. <BR> 6. Take more pictures of my children ( They are growing too fast) <BR> 7. Spend... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 15:03:10 EST It is never too late Just keep going, and never give up. Mon, 28 Dec 2015 14:40:36 EST Forgiving yourself I don't always eat the right foods and there are days that I don't plan as well as others. I used to dwell on my slip ups and then allow the slip ups to become bigger than they needed to be. The slip up would go from one meal to a month or even a year. <BR> <BR> I used to look in the mirror and only focus on my flaws or the things that I wanted to change. But I am starting to realize that I am so much more then what my body looks like. <BR> <BR> I am forgiving myself and accepting myself ... Thu, 17 Dec 2015 11:31:22 EST Accept Yourself no matter what I think a mistake that we often make is wanting things to happen over night or for things to happen with little to no effort. <BR> <BR> I can drive myself crazy if I think about all the weight that I want to lose or how much longer I have to finish nursing school. If I think about these things too much then I could easily fall into a depression and not try at all. <BR> <BR> But I am choosing to enjoy the journey and to take my time. Before I know it time would have passed by so fast and I ... Tue, 15 Dec 2015 11:48:54 EST I am counting down I will be 30 in about 14 months. I have goals that I want to accomplish by then. <BR> <BR> I am not waiting for the New Year to start working on my goals. I am starting now. Mon, 14 Dec 2015 18:59:32 EST Too Many Things I have way too many things on my plate right now. And I am starting to fixate on the scale again, which does me more harm then good. I have decided to run a 10k at the end of April . I feel like I can accomplish this. I miss running and I am tired of waiting for the right time to get back into it. <BR> <BR> I am going to try and break my daily weigh in habit. I am hoping that I can stay off of it until 01/01/16. I tend to self sabotage if I don't see the results that I want. I am going to s... Wed, 25 Nov 2015 11:40:03 EST Under a lot of stress I am just trying to remain positive and not let my life get to me right now. Mon, 23 Nov 2015 11:50:21 EST Whole 30 Here is my third attempt this year. I will make it.. I don't have control over the other things in my life but I will have control over this! <BR> <BR> Happy Friday Everyone! <BR> <BR> The goal for this whole 30 is to keep it simple. Fri, 20 Nov 2015 12:18:33 EST I will see Onderland Someday I will. I will never give up. Tue, 17 Nov 2015 12:33:50 EST Another week I am excited to get this week started and over with because next week is Thanksgiving! I am so excited for the holidays because I love to see my kids faces light up. <BR> <BR> <BR> Happy Monday Everyone! <BR> Mon, 16 Nov 2015 17:05:09 EST YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DON'T EVER FORGET IT! <BR> <BR> * JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Fri, 13 Nov 2015 11:41:26 EST The scale doesn't tell the whole story I am starting to fit into clothes that were too tight before... all this without the scale moving too much. Sometimes your progress is not measured by the scale. <BR> <BR> Happy Thursday Everyone! Thu, 12 Nov 2015 14:21:20 EST Reality The reality of it all is that I am not going to lose the 70 plus pounds that I need to l lose over night. I am trying to find the balance that I need in my own life to make this a lifetime commitment and not just a phase. <BR> <BR> I am ok with not losing some weeks and sometimes seeing a gain. <BR> <BR> My clothes fit better and I have a lot more energy. I am also sleeping better. <BR> <BR> I am ok with how things are going right now. I am enjoying the process and I am focused on health ... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 11:33:16 EST Snow It snowed last night, and I have to say that I am extremely excited for this years holidays. <BR> Happy Tuesday Everyone! Tue, 10 Nov 2015 14:40:40 EST