LAYERS_OF_ME's SparkPeople Blog LAYERS_OF_ME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Power Power is a very idyllic concept. Those who possess it can be presented with some hard choices. Some become corrupted by it. Some fear it. I think I fall into the latter category, although I am not certain why that is. It was suggested that I might be afraid of abusing power if I had it, but I'm not sure that's the case. I think it's more that I fear the gravity of it. The responsibility. Who am I to have power over anyone else, their choices or their decisions? And now the truth surf... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 01:37:05 EST Vision and Mission Based on the Sparkpeople featured article on Facebook <link><BR>ion_articles.asp?id=1849 </link> , I have decided to document answers to the questions presented. <BR> <BR> What will be different and better? <BR> <BR> I will be able to buy clothes in any clothing store I choose, as opposed to being limited to specialty stores that carry my size. I will have balance in my life where eating is concerned. I will be able to indulge in rich, decadent foods i... Sun, 20 Oct 2013 21:38:41 EST Seattle Rock n' Roll Half Marathon This was a bloody HUGE race! I thought Portland was big. This was more than double the size. In Portland there were 23 pace corrals. In Seattle, there were (at least) 47. When I found the start line, about 5 minutes after the initial gun at 7:00AM, they were lining up pace corral 8 with the line going back as far as the next block and stretching around the corner. I figured it would have been an hour before they got to my pace corral, and I noticed people from other corrals starting to ... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 18:41:05 EST Beating Soreness After a long workout yesterday that left me physically spent, and confident that I had done something right as a result, I woke up today quite sore. My legs and lower back were sore, as well as my pectorals and biceps (likely delayed from Monday's weight training). I had grand plans for repeating my efforts today, but instead found myself sleeping until noon and being lazy for much of the afternoon. I decided around 6:00PM that I would head to the gym for Yoga, in the hopes that stretching... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:58:20 EST Summer Experiment I have 10 weeks in front of me to focus on my nutrition and fitness. I am hoping to bust through a plateau, experiment in the kitchen with meals I can prepare ahead of time for easy access throughout the work week, and start a container garden with non-GMO, non-hybrid, organic seeds. I am also going to try out a bunch of different group fitness classes to change up my routine. So far: <BR> <BR> Yoga is love. <BR> Spin bike seats are built by sadists. <BR> Swimming with proper form is effi... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 19:59:30 EST Emotions Run High Today marks the end of a weekend that saw all three of my daughters graduate. My youngest graduated 6th grade, my middle daughter from high school (as senior speaker no less), and my eldest from college with her AA degree. All three graduated with honors and I couldn't be more proud. <BR> <BR> Now here comes the flood. I have been trying very, very hard to stymie the pain of their fragmented family. Times like these are so awkward anyway, but throw in the fact that it was my ex husband's... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 02:20:08 EST Vegetables Done Right I just bought a book titled Eating on the Wild Side. The premise of the book is that as humans have evolved, so has the food we eat. Well, duh. More specifically, it discusses how our diet took a huge dip in nutritional bang for the buck when we transitioned from hunters and gatherers to farmers roughly 10,000 years ago. We as a society decided we should only grow the foods that tasted the best, and were easiest to get to. Whereas before, we might work very hard to peel the ancestor of the... Sun, 9 Jun 2013 02:39:44 EST Race Report: NODM The Good: <BR> <BR> The course was absolutely beautiful. It was run almost entirely on the paved North Olympic Discovery Trail, which is a rails-to-trails project. For the most part it was flat and fast, but there were two killer hills. One was when we took a steep dip over a tenth of a mile to go under an overpass. What goes down, must also come up, so it sucked on the other side. The second similar experience was when we took a steep switchback down to a bridge over a creek... and b... Tue, 4 Jun 2013 01:05:33 EST Mindfulness Living mindfully has always been an elusive concept for me. I have always seen happiness as something on my horizon, just out of my reach until some prerequisites allow it to happen. My list of prerequisites include, but are not limited to: <BR> <BR> As soon as I buy my own house... <BR> When I find love... <BR> If I won the lottery... <BR> Once I reach my goal weight... <BR> <BR> I have a hard time showing gratitude. I have a friend who makes a habit of writing a gratitude entry every n... Thu, 30 May 2013 03:00:36 EST Portland Rock n' Roll! This was by far the most well-organized event I have participated in to date. Not that the others weren't great, but this was a pocket of excellence. The expo was truly incredible. The sponsors offered a plethora of swag, and I was pleasantly surprised by Brooks offering anyone a free video-recorded gait analysis on two treadmills. I got confirmation for myself that I am in the right shoe, and ideas for models to look at when I max out the mileage on my current pair. Other awesomeness in... Tue, 21 May 2013 21:20:08 EST BMO Vancouver Half Marathon Thanks THEFIRESPIRAL for the stylistic suggestion that follows. <BR> <BR> Things I want to remember from the weekend and the race. <BR> <BR> Canada is a different country. I am reminded every time I go. <BR> Don't look for the Interstate in a country full of provinces. <BR> Those lights in the distance aren't UFOs. They're the ski lifts at Grouse Mountain. BC'ers ski at night as a force of habit. <BR> Don't wash your jeans with a Canadian $20 bill in your pocket. The plastic melts and... Fri, 10 May 2013 01:43:34 EST So far, so good... I did manage the 10 miles yesterday. I started to get sore and tired at mile 8. That makes sense because that was where my training stopped last time. Each time I go a little further, the wall moves back. I wasn't worried about being able to do it physically, but money might still be an issue. <BR> <BR> I started a math exercise with my class. I gave them an opportunity to guess my finish time, and whichever student comes the closest without going over will win some cool swag I pick u... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:15:32 EST Hmmmm... My training plan calls for 9 miles this weekend, then 10, 11-12, 6-8 and then the Portland Half marathon on May 19th. I am thinking of altering my training slightly to accommodate another race in there. I would like to also run the BMO Vancouver Half on May 5th. If I do that, I will need an extra C-note, and I'll have to run 10 this weekend, 6-8 the following weekend, then the Vancouver. I think I can do it physically, just not sure about financially. I'll keep you posted. Fri, 19 Apr 2013 01:36:49 EST Headspace a Future-Tripping In my head, I go to this place: "Once I reach my goal weight, I will be happy." <BR> <BR> Just so you know, that's a load of crap. <BR> <BR> I speak from experience, because I lost 60 pounds in 2006, but *I* was still there. I with my issues, fears, and depression. I thought, erroneously, that with the 60 pounds gone, I would magically be happy. I wasn't. As a matter of fact, my lack of happiness at the end of that journey contributed to the demise of my marriage in 2007-2009. Don't... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:00:05 EST Accomplished I didn't want to work out today. I had to work late, had a late appointment, I was hungry, sore from Monday's workout and tired. I had pretty much already talked myself out of it until my daughter informed me that we *had* to go to the Y because she failed her "pacer" test in PE today. I don't know what passing looked like, but she was pretty sure that 10 laps up and down the basketball court wasn't enough. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have gone in tonight. As it was, we didn't get ho... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 01:35:24 EST Got my Night Brace <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I felt good upon waking this morning. I did an hour of cardio last night and stretched well. As the day wore on, so did the pain. I was very grateful to see this brace on my doorstep when I got home. So far, so good. It seems to be doing a good job holding my foot in a flexed position, and is adjustable. Now lets see what I feel like in the morning. Tue, 12 Feb 2013 00:08:35 EST Down but Not Out I still can't run. The plantar fasciitis has been really bothering me since I tried to run that stupid mile and a half two weeks ago. I have been hobbling everywhere, and the pain is excruciating when I first wake up or when I walk in bare feet. I have been wearing my old running shoes everywhere with arch support inserts and that has been helping. Cross training has also been helping. Today I woke up with just a sight twinge. Not even pain really. Last time this happened, I decided to try ru... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 17:48:49 EST Blast it all! I just tried an easy 1.5 miles tonight and felt great... until I sat down for dinner. Getting up again was excruciating. Looks like another go with the icing, stretching and cross training for awhile. I can't imagine I'll be doing a half before summer. Craptastic! Sun, 27 Jan 2013 23:53:07 EST Foot Fury I have not been running at all. Instead, I've been cross training at the Y using the elliptical, recumbent bike, rowing machine and arm ergometer for cardio. I have been doing some weight training, but not consistently. I meet with my 12 week jumpstart trainer on Monday. It's the YMCA jumpstart program available to all new members. I'm beyond a jumpstart, but seeing a trainer for free to get ideas is always a good thing. <BR> <BR> I bought a brace for my foot from Walgreens that was s... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 13:33:45 EST Running Wish List and Foot Owies Headed to the Y tonight for my Sunday run on the indoor track. It's like 29F here, so I thought I'd run there. I was a really good girl and stretched my hammy's, quads soleus muscles and calves really good before starting on the track. Eight laps make a mile. I started out walking, and made it 2 laps when the bottom of my right foot started to stab slightly. I am so grateful to CSTREAM for her post on Rookie Runners, which I read on my iPhone before heading to the Y. Because of her, I decided... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:48:52 EST Peeling Back in 2013: Episode 3 Shot January 4, 2013 at 267.1 pounds. Sat, 12 Jan 2013 15:02:11 EST Hey, Fat Girl! <link><BR>t-girl.html </link> Sun, 3 Jun 2012 16:16:57 EST Race Wish List (addendum) So my goal of running a race a month fell by the wayside after my birthday half. I let the boogyman get in my head and tell me bad things like, "you're too slow", and "you were dead last to finish your birthday race", and "you're still too fat to run". But I took care of that today by registering for another half. I'm going to run the Rock n' Roll Seattle, and I'm not going to apologize for a 3:45 half. I also won't come in last because, first of all, it's a huge race. There will be tons... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:15:56 EST Week ending 4/28 I exercised 5 days, stayed within my points every day and only missed out on drinking all my water on one day. I should have shown a loss this week. Instead, I showed a 2 pound gain. It's very frustrating, however, two things are working against me. Those two things are my medication and my period. I went through all last week on the reduced dosage for the meds, but as hard as I tried to convince her not to, mother nature decided to visit. I always show a gain at that time of the month.... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 13:41:16 EST Three Star Day I stayed within my points, drank my water and exercised with my eldest daughter at the gym. Three stars. Go me! <BR> <BR> I am trying to continue some of the hard workouts my trainer was putting me through. After going 20 minutes on the elliptical, I did 3 sets of assisted push ups, recline rows and bench squats, followed my 3 sets of stability ball crunches, 10lb medicine ball slams and 12" step ups. I did this same workout on Saturday, and I could barely get through it. Tonight, it wa... Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:38:11 EST Larger than Life Hey there, Sylvester McMonkey McBean, here's my star machine! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It's HUGE! I decided to add stars for pounds lost. I like me some big motivators. I could only fit 7 starts to a row, so I had to make it 16 rows long. It goes from ceiling to floor, and will be let out a little at a time as I add stars for pounds lost. Each star has my current weight written on it to the nearest pound. Right now I weight 275.... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:45:57 EST Motivating Myself I'm really starting to love my calendar. I think it's because I am adding more stars each day. I officially started it on Tuesday, and had to backtrack and add stars for the prior days in the month. But as the week has progressed, I have added more stars. I don't know if I am doing well because of the stars, or I do well to get more stars, but whatever it is, it's working. I have silver stars as well, and I am trying to figure out what I can use them for. I want them to be meaningful th... Sat, 21 Apr 2012 21:26:00 EST Peeling Back: Episode 2 An update on progress since episode 1, struggles, fears and hopes for the future. Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:36:37 EST Making the Decision If it is to be, it is up to me. <BR> <BR> I think that's a quote from someone famous. Not sure. The internet seems to be crediting three different authors. It's a timely quote, nonetheless. 11SPROUTS posted a comment in my blog this morning that was a nice kick in the pants, reminding me that no one can choose this for me. I have to decide for myself when I have had enough. I choose. No one else does. <BR> <BR> So in this spirit, I spent some time reviewing my food and exercise journ... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 00:56:24 EST Living in the Past I am very stuck on what I used to be able to do. I used to be able to run a half marathon in 2:53. I used to be able to run an 11 minute mile. I used to look good in photographs. I know a lot of people hold on to old successes in the midst of current failures, like the former captain of the high school football team, or the star wrestler in college. The concept is nothing new. I wonder, though, if I have a really hard time letting go of it because if wasn't that long ago for me. I was ... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 22:20:45 EST Oh no you don't! I took my daughter to Lincoln Park in West Seattle today and we walked/jogged along the waterfront. I got to my 6th jogging interval and felt my left inner gastroc threatening to pop. It's this tightening feeling I get when I flex my foot. I know that if I were to push it, it would pop and I'd be out of commission for three weeks minimum. I decided to bag my last two jogging intervals and walked the rest of the way. It keeps threatening, especially when I walk upstairs or uphill. I need... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 20:49:54 EST Moving Along I worked out with my trainer two days this week and ran one day. I should have been more consistent, but I need to stay away from the "shoulda's". I showed a gain at WW putting me back up to 279.6. I stayed within my points, but I either didn't exercise enough, or retained water from working my muscles so hard. I'm not drinking enough water, so my body could be hanging onto whatever water it can get. <BR> <BR> I have decided to double up on food tracking. I am recording points at WW o... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 04:31:27 EST A Lesson in Geometry One dot rolls. This can cause one to become 2 (making a line) which doesn't roll, but can be pushed end over end to make move. It's hard, but it can be done. Three dots make a triangle, which becomes easier to push along. Four dots (a square) gets even easier to push, and a pentagon is even easier still. Each day I add a workout, it feeds my momentum. <BR> <BR> Today I am pushing the triangle. I have worked out three consecutive days. I figure the more consecutive days I work out, th... Tue, 10 Apr 2012 01:03:31 EST Anchors Away I went to the gym this morning, and then stopped by Weight Watchers to weigh in. I lost the same three pounds I have been gaining and losing for 4 weeks. I am on a down week though, which makes me more determined to lose more by next week. <BR> <BR> My trainer had me do assisted push-ups, recline rows and squats. I could tell I've atrophied a bit, but my body is also not too forgetful of the progress I made. I think muscle memory will kick in soon enough, and I'll be fine. Diet is wha... Sat, 7 Apr 2012 22:32:49 EST How's Life? Well, life has been challenging. After my half marathon, I sort of fell off the wagon. Then I got ran over by it. I have not lost any weight in over a month. No scratch that. Since I started. I still weigh what I did last summer, roughly. <BR> <BR> I also stopped running. I'm mostly disappointed in that, since my plan was to continue running halves this year. I'm trying to figure out why I quit, and all I can come up with is that I was disappointed. I'll start with this... <BR> <BR... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 01:43:56 EST Race Report: Birthday Half Marathon Well, it wasn't Disney, that's for sure. What can I say about Richland, WA. It's a town, in the middle of nowhere. It's flat, arid, and on my birthday weekend, cold and windy. The temperature on my phone kept registering in the low 40's, but with the wind chill, it felt like it was below freezing. <BR> <BR> I woke up early on my birthday with a throbbing head, realizing I'd forgotten my meds, so I ended up taking a 4:00AM trip to the 24 Hour Walgreens in Kennewick to get an emergency sup... Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:42:47 EST A Confession and a Plan I have spent the last week being depressed about my hip. I haven't really cross trained, except meeting with my trainer twice to do some upper body weight training. I have also been eating like crap. I put on 4 pounds since last week. I also think I'm getting a cold. <BR> <BR> I have a new plan of action today, though. I am back on point with my diet (so far) and I am going to hit the gym today for some cardio cross training on the elliptical and anything else that sounds good. Maybe... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:43:44 EST Hip Update Saw an Orthopedic/Sports Medicine doc today. He said not only do I not have a stress fracture, but it's not a joint problem either. Not bursitis, but a muscle strain. Whew! I am so relieved! He did say to stay off of it for awhile and let it heal, but then I told him I have a half marathon in ten days. He smirked at me and said, "why?". I said, "Because it's my 40th birthday and I have to run it!" He said, "Fine, run it, if you need to prove something psychologically. You're not harmi... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:38:56 EST A Potential Setback I was supposed to run 12 miles yesterday, but I was stopped short with hip pain in mile 5 and walked another excruciating mile back to my car. I went to the urgent care clinic to get an xray, but their machine was down, so I decided to go to the ER. The doctor ordered an MRI, looking for a stress fracture. It was not that, thank goodness. But I do have bursitis and have to take it easy. They referred me to an orthopedist. I need to get in to see him soon, because after doing some reading... Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:59:20 EST My Aching Hip My hip is still hurting today, which is scaring me a little. It doesn't seem to be the piriformis because it's dead center on my hip. I do better when I move around. If I sit down, it tightens up and I get stiff trying to stand again with pain upon stepping. It also hurts to climb stairs. The good news is that my trainer kicked my butt tonight and not a single thing he did hurt my hip at all. That made me a little frustrated because I wanted to isolate the pain, so that I could work it o... Tue, 7 Feb 2012 00:39:32 EST My 10'er. I ran 10 miles along the Green River Trail this afternoon. I parked in Tukwila and thought I was running toward Auburn, but I ended up running toward home. It was ironic. I was worried I'd run out of trail before hitting my halfway point, but I didn't. There was still plenty of trail ahead of me. My trainer told me to keep running 90 second intervals, but cut my recovery time by 30 seconds, so I ran 1:1 intervals at 90 seconds. I was on pace to finish in 2:30 when suddenly at mile 8.6 ... Sun, 5 Feb 2012 22:52:23 EST Awesome Run!!! Last night I went to the gym and met with my trainer, but I was dog tired through the whole workout. He had me doing incline push-ups and recline rows on the machine that has a barbell on a track and you add weights to it for squats, or bench presses or whatever. Basically, I held onto the bar and did my exercises. We also spent some time beforehand rolling out my piriformis, IT bands and quads. He could tell that I was exhausted when I first walked in. I was sleepy exhausted, and he kep... Fri, 3 Feb 2012 00:32:23 EST Running for Jasmine I learned recently that my half marathon has teamed up with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. When I learned this, I was excited because this cause hits close to home for me. It comes even closer to my dear friend Monica, whose daughter died from complications stemming from the disease at the age of 10. We are long-time friends, were pregnant at the same time and our daughters were only 6 months apart. This Valentine's Day marks the 8th anniversary of her death, and she would have been 18. ... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:50:29 EST Peeling Back: Episode 1 A raw look at where I am on 1/29/2012. Oh, and when I say my projected finish time, it's actually 3:23 and change (not 2:23). I misspoke. Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:40:49 EST 9 Mile Run I ran 9 miles along the Interurban Trail yesterday. I was hoping for no hip pain, but it started in mile 3. By mile 4, I was considering quitting and calling Scott for a ride back to my car, but I kept going, and by mile 5 it was gone. I managed to finish in roughly the same amount of time it took me to run 8 miles last week. Well, 4 minutes longer. I ran 90 seconds to 2 minutes walking for the entire run, cutting out my intermediate walk breaks between podcasts. My heartrate felt stead... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 15:11:37 EST Sparkiversary and Stuff Yesterday was my Sparkpeople six year anniversary. I forgot about it until I looked at the date today. Kinda crazy I've been on this site for six years. Wish I could instantly be the weight I was 6 years ago today. Heh. <BR> <BR> The weather is supposed to be very wet on Sunday and I have 9 miles to run. Everyone is predicting a nice day tomorrow, so I am tempted to skip my 5K tonight so I can do my long run tomorrow. Then I'll do a 5K Monday, Wed and Fri next week. I don't think it'l... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:31:13 EST You're fired! Ran a 5K tonight and increased my running intervals to 3 minutes. I started to spaz a bit on the treadmill and ended up backing off to 90 second run intervals again. If I were running outside and had only the audio cues to depend on, rather than a clock starting me straight in the face, I'd be much better off. That will be the plan for Friday. <BR> <BR> I know, I know. I should throw a towel over the display. Seems easy enough, except that I also have the same damn scenery to stare at... Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:45:19 EST Sweet Success! Wow! I just ran 8.4 miles in the rain with negative splits. I feel so accomplished right now. I love this feeling. I might just actually finish this half marathon with a decent time. I'd like to do it in under 4 hours, which is not a great time, but after today I think I could actually do it in 3:15-3:30. Today I ran 60 second running intervals (90 second walking) for the first half of the distance, then I ran 90 second intervals (2 minutes walking) in the second half. I was ready to pu... Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:59:00 EST Peeking out over the snow The snow is finally melting around here, but I am home for my 4th consecutive snow day. I'll be teaching until July at this rate. I've been trying to keep working out using the xbox, but I've only been able to use 20 minute trial versions of workout programs. Something is better than nothing, I guess, but I'm completely stir crazy from being snowed in. I hope to get out today and get a run in. The weird thing is that I have lost a few pounds and am managing to keep them off. I'm a littl... Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:49:58 EST Birthday Race Plans I got an email from my ex earlier about getting the girls on my birthday. He was cool with it, but it turns out that my 16 year old has a solo ensemble to play at school on the Saturday before my race. I found out that packet pickup is between 11:00AM and 5:00PM on that day. It's a 3.5 hour drive from my house and my girls are an hour ferry ride further away than that. There's no way she's going to be able to go. I even tried seeing if my older daughter could bring her later in the day. ... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:32:34 EST