LAURALE8's SparkPeople Blog LAURALE8's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Reflections Gosh I don't even know where to start! I am surrounded by illness it seems. My hubby is very sick with a tumor, my colleague (and friend) has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My dad needs a gallbladder operation ( if a surgeon can be found to do it). <BR> <BR> Illness brings about a whole new set of stressors - the importance of a budget for one. I am now the sole income earner for the household and have no idea how I am going to pay for everything. I could get a second job but I am not su... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 10:22:16 EST Half way through BLC Well halfway through the challenge and I have gained 2 pounds! How frustrating is that. Food wise I seem to do OK most of the time. I am choosing better foods, not snacking and drinking lots of water. <BR> Where I am not doing well is with movement. I think I need to schedule it in so I start doing it. I have been telling myself this for awhile - but have not done it. I know it will help my stress level, and I know it is key for me to lose. But still I procrastinate.... I really need to make ... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 08:46:26 EST Stress Eating I am mindful of myself most of the time - so when I started to mindlessly eat - I was able to talk myself out of it. Yes I did eat 10 donut holes before I stopped - but I stopped. <BR> I keep wondering if it is worth it to do my Masters. I am stressed to the max all the time and the classes are the only thing I can get rid of. Ageing parents are keepers, kids are keepers, rescue dogs are keepers, job is a necessity what does that leave - classes. I need to really consider this as an option in... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 19:49:55 EST What will be different When I lose my excess pounds I will feel better about myself. I want to feel good about who I am - not so self conscious. I love fashion, dressing up wearing heels etc. But at my current weight I cannot do this. <BR> I am tired of people saying - 'she has such a pretty face". I am tired of my boss blabbing about her weight loss everyday she comments on what size she is wearing and how wonderful she looks!!! i don't think I am jealous - more like discouraged. <BR> I am frustrated with my body... Mon, 28 Jan 2013 12:18:46 EST WORK ON THIS be S.M.A.R.T. <BR> Specific <BR> Measurable <BR> Achievable <BR> Relevant <BR> Time bound. <BR> SPECIFIC <BR> Which people <BR> How much weight <BR> What kind of job <BR> <BR> MEASURABLE <BR> At the end of your time table you should be able to answer with alacrity... <BR> Is the person gone? <BR> How much weight did you lose? <BR> Do you have a new job? <BR> <BR> ACHIEVABLE <BR> You're the toxic person (In that case work on your personality)...or that toxic person is someone who depends on ... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:36:46 EST 2013 Plan I had to really think about this as I want to succeed with this weight loss. I am going to try the low carb route again as it seems to work for me the best. I need to get a handle on these illnesses that are wreaking havoc in my body. Gallbladder pain is really special and seems to come out of nowhere. The tumor on my kidney is creating fluid retention. I know diet can really help this - it is to figure out what I need and dont need. <BR> Exercise is key for me - but it is hard to fit it in.... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 10:37:42 EST Holiday Plan Well I was at a Christmas party on the weekend, it was wonderful - lots of food, laughs and drinks. How did I stay on track - I knew I was having 1 glass of wine so ate only veggies and passed on desserts. I stayed within my calorie range so now have a plan for success at buffet style gatherings. <BR> The sit down to order ones will be a bit more challenging I think - but salad is always an option. I rarely drink so don't have to watch that much. <BR> I really need to get back into exercise m... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 09:52:22 EST Wednesday This is how I have been feeling lately... <BR> I’ve been hiding from exercise: I’m in the fitness protection program. <BR> I need to get back on track - just not sure how? Yesterday was a long day - came home sick to my stomach again. Spent a large portion of the evening throwing up again!!! I just don't understand why I am not recovering. I did not go to hospital as all they do is give me a shot and send me home. <BR> I am the same weight as last week - which is Ok as I know I am holding flu... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 07:46:42 EST My Plan How to make it through the holidays..... I started last October with a vision of being healthier, looking better and feeling better about my weight. I have lost 50 pounds since then, but have been stalled for several weeks. I am hopeful it is health issues that once resolved will allow me to get back on track. <BR> Food wise I do alright - always under my calorie range. My tastes have changed and I no longer eat much sugar or salt. I do not drink to excess so won't have liquid cals to worry a... Sun, 25 Nov 2012 08:50:08 EST Friday Well the last weekend of the challenge is here. I am grateful that I participated in this one. A number of things have become clearer for me as a result. I am disappointed with my weight but that is not new for me. I am disappointed healthwise that I am no closer to the answer of why I have gall/kidney stones. Why is there a growth on my kidney? And am not sure if the complicated UTI is gone. I do see my Dr. in December though so that may help. <BR> Life continues to race along and like alway... Fri, 23 Nov 2012 07:29:13 EST Lost my fire???? he challenge is almost over and I am heavier than I was when I started???? I am hopeful it is fluid attributed to fluid build up - but I just don't know. I was doing well - not major losses but consistent - then the rug came out from under my feet. <BR> I am not sure if I am having a bad week or what - food choices are ok low carb, low protein and low cal.... water consumption is good - but I am feeling really terrible mentally. <BR> Do I have the energy to continue? Do I say to heck with it ... Thu, 22 Nov 2012 07:36:26 EST Half way Point I started this challenge with an achievable goal of 20 pounds. I am definitely not going to make it. I have been extremely ill for 2 weeks and can do no exercise for another 4 minimum. If ever the infection and the stones clear up - I can find out about the tumor on my right kidney. My weight continues to fluctuate and I am having a difficult time eating anything, as everything seems to trigger my gallbladder right now. As a result I am eating toast and that is about it. My fluid intake is gr... Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:44:36 EST The last 3 things Ok 3 more things I like about myself - I am always optimistic I am definitely the glass is half full type. <BR> generally I am cheerful - happy even. I do get down on myself - but as a rule I am happy. <BR> I am very loyal to family and friends. Mon, 15 Oct 2012 16:15:11 EST Weekend Challenge Day 3 3 things I like about myself.....I have great hair! It is reddish brown almost the color of a chestnut horse. When I was younger and it was long (cut it off at 40) people were always commenting on it. Now it is short and I do color it every few months, but people still comment on the color. It has more red than brown in it. I would post pics but SP won't post them. I continually get error on page. <BR> My freckles have faded to almost nothing except on legs and arms - but they have faded from... Sun, 14 Oct 2012 11:05:39 EST Weekend Challenge Day 2 Ok 3 things I like about myself....I am open minded - I like to learn new things, meet new people and do not adopt the mindset of I know best. Each of us lives our own lives best - I may not always agree with lifestyle choices but will do what I can to understand it and not criticize. <BR> I have a genuine desire to learn all that I can about all that I can. My curiosity has been with me since I was a child. <BR> I recognize how fortunate I am - in relationships, career, family - not that any... Sat, 13 Oct 2012 08:28:51 EST Weekend Challenge Hmmmm... 3 things I like about myself....... <BR> I like the fact that I am a compassionate person often able to find empathy for those who are hostile and aggressive. when people are suffering they want others to suffer with them I keep this thought in the forefront of my mind, so I am able to gently get where we need to go. <BR> I have a very soft spot for animals, they have not got the choices people do. I am fortunate to be at a point in my life to do rescue work and reap the rewards that... Fri, 12 Oct 2012 10:32:36 EST Monday I would like to say that I am ticketeeboo but that is not the case. I had a restless, painful night every time I moved I woke up. On a positive note my temp remained stable. I am falling behind all over the place because I am not to bend, lift anything over 2 pounds,stretch or walk up or downstairs unless I have to. Thankfully these restrictions are in place for only 2 weeks - but it does make normal day to day things a challenge. My Dr. is not wanting the stones to block my urinary tract as ... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 11:52:20 EST Thanksgiving Weekend I am home from the hospital now with a plan of action to get healthy again. I am glad to be home as I missed being here but was very grateful for being in hospital as well. I am still not great but a few days at home should help. I will keep a close watch on my temperature as per Dr. instructions and if it goes up to 38.5 C I will return to hospital. Also need to pass gallstones and kidney stones - but if this becomes too much return I shall. It will take 3-6 weeks to see the Urologist hopefu... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 09:41:41 EST Menu Planning Not as easy as it sounds! This week I promise myself to do better - today breakfast was a cereal bar and likely will keep this for the week. I usually have a protein shake - but it will be good to mix it up a bit. <BR> Lunch is usually raw veggies - will keep this as it is easy and convenient for eating at my desk. Also clinics where either a restaurant or my car and veggies work well with the car. <BR> Suppers - a little more challenging. I am marinating chicken breast to make souvlaki and m... Mon, 1 Oct 2012 15:38:50 EST Dreaded Weigh In Yep - up 5 pounds instead of 10 dam it! I don't understand this at all. I am frustrated and upset about it - but crying is not going to help. I decided when I made this commitment to myself that no matter what I would stick with it. Now a little talk with myself will make that happen. I can and I will do this - gold lame or not I need to take control of my own life, my own health, my own body. No one else is living in this skin. I have not fallen off the wagon so to speak and I refuse to all... Wed, 26 Sep 2012 19:22:46 EST Tuesday I am really pleased with 155 minutes of fitness time. I am a bit concerned about the 10 pound gain this morning - at this rate I will never get the gold lame dress! My thyroid has been changing again - maybe it is slowing down - am not sure. For such a little gland it certainly plays havoc in my life! <BR> Tomorrow is WI - I guess if the extra 10 pounds is gone and I stay the samew good for me - but really it doesn't feel good. As I began this journey desperate to lose weight, angry at myself... Tue, 25 Sep 2012 21:04:03 EST Weekend Wow Saturday Night already.... my week is a blur! food choices not bad - exercise not great - I know 15 minutes is not enough but knowing and doing are not connecting. <BR> I worry about the pace I am keeping - just to many things going on. I am soon going to be running on empty. I will need to find time for what is important and soon. I keep feeling that I am running behind. Need to focus on the \gold lame........... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 22:34:16 EST Tuesday Wow a long day today. Food choices were ok - not great but OK. Still have to fit some exercise in though. <BR> I spent the day talking with women about how to HONOR themselves as women, how to CELEBRATE themselves and how to ACCEPT themselves. Very timely for me as I have not been honoring myself much for awhile. I get so hung up on the scale that I forget I am not a number. I am a person with joys and sorrows and my weight loss journey is a part of that. <BR> As I struggle to make sense of m... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 22:17:29 EST Bah Monday I am glad that my Monday workday is over!!!! I work with a woman who is constantly telling everyone how bloody great she is. She is the smartest, sexiest, hardest working, best wife, mother, daughter in law, friend etc on the planet. Honestly I know I should not let it get to me but it really gets annoying. Incidentally she is my boss so tough to say much. <BR> I try to have compassion as really she must be very insecure to always have to pat her own back - but it gets old quickly. <BR> Weigh... Mon, 17 Sep 2012 19:32:38 EST 12 Week challenge I am a member of the Ivory Falcons. I both heard about and got to join this team because of my friend Donna. I am at a plateau with my weight - when I measured for the boards it was an eyeopener as I have not lost any inches since February. <BR> I am beginning to understand that I can do this - not quickly - not easily - but I can do it. <BR> My goals are to lose 1.5 - 2 pounds per week. This is attainable. I am very cautious about what I eat already. I don't think I should cut my calories an... Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:23:28 EST