LAURAJS2's SparkPeople Blog LAURAJS2's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Good start I had my TOPS weigh in last night. It was the first weigh in of the year and the way the records are kept -- red records gains and black records staying the same or losses -- everyone starts the year off in the black with no regard to whether you gain or lose. It's a fresh start, clean slate and a good feeling for someone that hasn't been using the accountability of the TOPS meeting and scales (like me last year). <BR> Even though it was a "free week", I have been already motivated to be acco... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 10:22:06 EST Gonna have a good day I'm back to work today and being honest I kind of wish I had another day off. I'm determined to have a good day though and have my Heathy Choice lunch and carrot stick and apple ready to make lunch go smoothly. <BR> I'm proud of finding a 2 mile walk video on YouTube because the 30 minutes a day will keep me moving regardless of whether I am able to make it the the guys or not! no excuses! Getting exercise has more effect on keeping me motivated than anything else. I feel real positive today... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 06:44:04 EST Happy New Year! Just a short entry to say happy new year to all my Spark friends and to wish you all the best in making your dreams a reality this year. I am trying not to be too ambitious with resolutions. Of course in redetermining to make use of Spark and achieve my weight loss and fitness goals this year, I am being optimistic and determined. My only actual resolution, per se, is to look for something every day that I am grateful for. I tried this throughout the month of November leading up to Thanksgivi... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 17:09:22 EST Hearing a negative voice This is a petty thing. This is not a true thing, but this is a thing that is going around in my head. I have a nice boss. She is a small, petite person and she is very concious of her appearance. She is a former cheerleader. She confided to me that her mother put an enormous amount of value on appearance and that before many people had ever heard of anorexia, she believes that she almost or indeed did have it at one point in her life. <BR> <BR> That aside, she knows that I had been at my goa... Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:54:51 EST Suggest some rewards I'm setting up a goal of losing 50 lbs this year and I want to give myself incremental rewards. I know that I had seen some of you that have done this and I would like to be pointed in the direction of your goals so that I can see if any of your suggestions are motivating for me. <BR> I think at 5o I would like to give myself a trip to Mac cosmetics and have a makeover and at some point I would like a trip to a day spa but I would like some other suggestions from you all. <BR> Please chime i... Thu, 27 Dec 2012 09:21:50 EST Why do numbers make so much difference? Last week I was highly motivated. I started vigilantly logging in and accumulating the Spark points and tracking my food. I made good choices and I said to myself "Take One Day at a Time" so I wouldn't be overwhelmed by the discipline of it all since I am not a naturally disciplined person. <BR> And I thought "I can't wait to see what the scale will say at my meeting." <BR> Well, the scale said I weighed .2 pounds more than I had the week before. <BR> And I am trying this morning to overcome ... Fri, 8 Jun 2012 08:01:49 EST Wednesday is hump day and Wednesday is also the day before my weigh in. I also go to work at 9 a.m which gives me a little time to reflect and have a cup of coffee this morning. <BR> I'm feeling good about my week. I 've done a good job of tracking and. Being accountable. If the weather had cooperated a little better I would have done my walking around stone mountain with my friends on Monday (my off day) and during lunch walks were affected as wel, but overall I'm very happy with myself. I'm hopeful about seeing res... Wed, 6 Jun 2012 06:59:16 EST Daily Challenges There is a program online where you receive a Daily Challenge and you can make a pact with friends to do whatever the assignment is. You receive a daily email with the challenge and you check off done when you have completed it. I have had a couple of weeks of pacting with a woman from my neighborhood and this is the second one. During the first something happened so that we were marked "failed." I think one of the two of us didn't get the email and didn't post having done the assignment. It ... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 11:14:46 EST Please don't judge I feel like I need to say that to the people that had been supporting me when I was doing well at staying on track of my weight loss in the fall. The truth is I need to say it to myself. I am probably my worst critic. I never during the time that I was at my goal and maintaining it well thought I would be in this fix again. <BR> Here I am. <BR> The truth is I have a girl friend that at the time that I was sustaining my good outlook and was looking fine would meet with me and she would alway... Wed, 30 May 2012 13:54:46 EST I got lost Somehow between September and May, I got lost. I didn't post anything. I didn't track anything. I did do some stabs at exercise but nothing consistent and I had more binging than I have probably had in the last ten years. <BR> I have gone about as far as I intend with backsliding and decided to be consistently signed in to Spark People to keep track of my diet plan. Since I am at a desk the majority of the week, I have no excuse for not making a habit of it. <BR> Looking back on my photos fr... Tue, 29 May 2012 13:07:52 EST Feeling Up Today is the day after my weigh in and I feel very uplifted that I lost again this week. I have spent a lot of energy cleaning my oven (an antique that I bought when my house was being renovated). I am so proud. It came out very nicely. The enamel is just sparkling. My fingers are a little prune-y but I love the results. I feel as though I am happy, feeling proud and that is what energized me. It was not a high loss just a pound, but I feel that momentum is gaining. <BR> This is the 25th day... Fri, 9 Sep 2011 17:00:31 EST Do I need to be emotionally soothed? I believe -- yes. Therein lies the mightiest of my challenges with food. <BR> <BR> Today I am reading the excerpt from "100 Days of Weight Loss" and the suggestion is to incorporate satisfaction with the food you are eating -- savoring it, slowing down and actually tasting and enjoying the food for what it is. Not gulping down one thing after another, looking for what you have decided must be what you are looking for. <BR> <BR> I really related, not through my behavior as of the last two o... Wed, 7 Sep 2011 14:19:46 EST Labor day as a day off -- almost I missed blogging yesterday...and tracking. I'm somewhat thrown off and this evening not feeling all that great. But I did read from "100 Days of Weight Loss" on both days and I sat down and tracked my foods this evening as well as I can remember and I don't think that today I was that far off course. Mainly the urge to not be accountable was there though. <BR> The blog makes me feel accountable, makes me sit and think about what losing this weight means to me and keeps me focused on continui... Mon, 5 Sep 2011 21:30:56 EST Making myself do it! Both making myself read my chapter in "100 Days of Weight Loss" and posting in my blog were tough today. I found myself busy having fun (the company of my oldest son) and getting some work done around the house. <BR> Matthew has a habit of putting away his clothes, which is good. But his habit has an aside which is to return all clothes to their original place of origin. This means he hangs up his dirty clothes and he puts his dirty clothes neatly folded back into his drawers. It is somethin... Sat, 3 Sep 2011 20:54:23 EST Day 20 of "100 Days" First of all, last night was my weekly weigh in and I eecked out a .25 lb loss. I'll TAKE it...but i couldn't help but get on the scale this morning and I was down a pound more. I think I have to much attachment to the SCALES (something to work on). <BR> <BR> Today's entry in "100 Days" is about halving the portions we have become used to, particularly the portions in restaurants. The suggestion -- take what you ordinarily would think of as a serving and eat only half that much. Your sandwic... Fri, 2 Sep 2011 09:49:14 EST I'm having to use my mantra "Just for today" is my mantra this morning. Tonight is the night for my weekly weigh in and I sneaked in a look at the scales here and it appears that I've stayed the same. I have been working at controlling my diet...maybe I will lose and maybe not, but I have to say I'm a little disappointed and it threw me off for a minute. <BR> I'm going to tell myself "just for today" I'll do my best and not let myself be side tracked if there isn't a loss this week. I have had good meals and I have been... Thu, 1 Sep 2011 12:28:20 EST Afternoon Evaluating I'm later getting started with blogging today and frankly have almost skipped it after getting frustrated about not finding where I had left my reader glasses. I finally found them after I straightened some clothes that I had folded at the end of my bed after they came out of the dryer. I need to hang them this afternoon anyway and the glasses were not the ones that I was looking for, but they will do. <BR> I was able to read my motivational chapter from "100 Days" and blog on the subject mat... Wed, 31 Aug 2011 14:54:42 EST New commitment today Today's entry in "100 Days of Weight Loss" was about something I had blogged about a couple of days ago--wasting food. I can't stand the thought of it. The chapter in the book states, "Every time you eat food your body doesn't need, you are wasting it!" <BR> Today I am committing to not wasting food by putting it in my body when I don't need it. This is a mental shift. Cleaning up other people's "wasted" food is not my responsibility and perhaps they had all they needed. I won't encourage Ma... Tue, 30 Aug 2011 09:19:18 EST Rewards and Nurturing I finished up the weekend with a little wane in will power. I was up to no good looking in the refrigerator too often and thinking about food a lot. I also tried a new side dish recipe that we will have this week -- a Spark recipe for cabbage casserole that has two cheeses and just couldn't resist tasting a little before putting it up for today. All in all though -- I did log foods and I didn't completely go wild. I did think about "am I fueling or feeding." It did happen though. Wish it didn... Mon, 29 Aug 2011 10:14:57 EST Two bites? "100 Days of Weight Loss" reading today was about the pleasure of tasting and savoring flavor in foods. I never realized that after the first two bites, which are the most flavorful and enjoyable, there is not more that we get out of it other than fueling and feeding. If we are really hungry and need fuel that is okay, but after two bites unless we need the fuel we could stop and have enjoyed all the pleasure we could have gotten out of the foods. <BR> I am compulsive about finishing food. R... Sun, 28 Aug 2011 09:53:46 EST Making positive changes I have a great feeling today! I know myself a bit more. That doesn't mean I won't have the same challenges...that I won't naturally want to use the same coping mechanisms. It just means that I know myself a little better. <BR> I'm a procrastinator. I stop doing things socially, put off things for a time when everything is going to be optimal. <BR> For too long I've been putting off going back to a weekly dance that I have enjoyed in the past, because I had put on some weight. I keep waiting f... Sat, 27 Aug 2011 09:30:54 EST Weigh in day success Last night was the second week that I have been tracking my food and nutrition and getting regular exercise. I lost 2.5 pounds! Yeah. I feel very inspired to keep doing what is making me feel so good about myself. <BR> Still...I wish there was a magic way to have it tomorrow. That is my bad self, spoiled inner child speaking. <BR> I'm very happy with the loss and motivated. <BR> My reading in "100 Days of Weight Loss" is about eating breakfast. I've heard people say that when they eat break... Fri, 26 Aug 2011 10:13:36 EST Backslide, but not too bad This morning was hectic in a way that was not activity-packed just off-schedule. Matt dawdled getting dressed and we were at the breakfast table when his bus came early. Therefore, half his breakfast was left at the table.... <BR> I hate to throw away good food. Oh NO. Oh yes, I had his portions too. I have logged the damage and it wasn't terrible, but I don't feel good about it and I shouldn't have indulged myself that way. <BR> My chapter in 100 Days of Weight Loss is about not skipping me... Thu, 25 Aug 2011 10:23:49 EST It's easier than it seems I saw this little piece of encouragement on someone's blog yesterday and it ran through my head for the rest of the evening. "It's easier than it seems if you just take it one day at a time." It might seem cliche. We've all heard it before. It did seem to be a good mantra for keeping momentum to me though. <BR> Presently, I am highly motivated. I've just begun to make good choices and get myself motivated to lose this weight and put energy into developing healthier habits. My goal now is bas... Wed, 24 Aug 2011 12:27:17 EST Why am I eating? This morning's reading from "One Hundred Days of Weight Loss" gave me a challenge that I am incorporating into my new healthy relationship with food plan. The chapter was titled "Two purposes for food." There are two healthy reasons for eating. 1. to FUEL the body and 2. To APPRECIATE flavors. I am challenged to ask myself whenever I am eating whether I am eating for one of the two reasons. I believe that having this question in mind will be helpful to keep me from mindless or emotional eatin... Tue, 23 Aug 2011 09:36:00 EST A busy day isn't an excuse I've made up my mind and have been vigilant about sitting down to go over how my day went. The mere effort of posting daily has some positive influence on me. It gives me extra accountability. <BR> Today was busy. I had an interview workshop scheduled through the unemployment office and it was at 9 which meant I had to get up earlier than usual to get myself ready, deliver Matt to school without waiting on the bus because it arrives too late and myself back over to their office. Whew.... I ma... Mon, 22 Aug 2011 20:14:26 EST Grocery Day and Checking in on Various Aspects of my Life I am sitting down after having walked a mile with our dog, Clifford with my son. Matthew stayed out of my care for almost 2 years because our house flooded and was being rebuilt. I had thought it might be best for him to transition into adulthood by living away from home. However, I found it frustrating that he picked up so much weight while away and since getting back into our family home I've decided that since he has a day program to go to and in home support it is probably best for him to... Sun, 21 Aug 2011 11:30:42 EST Momentum The weekend begins...I have been up for a while and have the majority of the day to myself. <BR> I've done my daily reading in the 100 Days of Weight Loss, eaten a quick breakfast, logged my food intake and am drinking my water and ruminating on what I should do today to keep momentum. <BR> The dog needs to be walked and my son is off on a weekend outing with his caregiver. I'm making a quick entry to keep myself on track with the blog. <BR> Today's chapter in 100 Days of Weight Loss was ... Sat, 20 Aug 2011 10:28:21 EST Promise to Myself -- You Can Do It. Throughout the past years, although I haven't stayed completely on course with my weight, the one thread of continuity I didn't let go of was my T.O.P.S. meeting. I've learned about myself concerning my weight and eating habits that it is imperative for me to keep some semblance of accountability. Having a weigh in and support group helps me to feel that accountability and to not convince myself to procrastinate about taking a look at what is happening with my weight. From week-to-week tends ... Fri, 19 Aug 2011 09:06:09 EST Not just yet This morning I logged onto the Spark website and followed a thread where people were discussing saboteurs to their weight loss. Some had spouses and partners that weren't supportive and some downright sabotaged their efforts. Luckily, I am not in that position for right now, because I live with my son Matt that has a disability and he depends on me. Lonely sometimes, yes, but I am lucky in this one area. <BR> After reading along a few of these comments, I picked up my daily reading from 100 ... Thu, 18 Aug 2011 09:26:34 EST A Beautiful Morning -- A Positive Mood My mood this morning is so positive. I've been logging in for 3 days straight now on the blog and feel as if it is helping me to put myself out there for all the world to see where I am at. This morning is lovely on the deck and I've gotten my son off on his bus and have time to relax and access my feelings. <BR> The past days after having written down my menu before shopping have left me more motivated. I tried a Spark recipe for dinner yesterday and had leftover chicken to make homemade chi... Wed, 17 Aug 2011 09:56:11 EST On the path Today's entry in the 100 Days of Weight Loss concerned dieter's way of thinking all or nothing. It was titled "Boundaries, not diets" and encouraged readers to think in terms of setting boundaries for themselves but not to be so rigid that when something came up that made them have to make adjustments that they gave up and were self defeating by saying "well I blew it" and just gave up on their program. <BR> I see myself on those pages. I even found the last plan I went on that was all juic... Tue, 16 Aug 2011 09:54:04 EST I am committed! Today I read the third entry in 100 Days of Weight Loss. It strikes a chord for sure. The title is DO IT ANYWAY! So many times I procrastinate thinking that tomorrow I will feel more like it. Now, to be sure, today I have poison ivy broken out and that is a good excuse for not exercising, but if I go ahead and take it easy I should be okay to at least do a little moving. I will do 10 - 15 minutes of WII exercise today and twice take the dog for a 1 mile walk. <BR> I can't sit and wait until ... Mon, 15 Aug 2011 09:47:27 EST Try try again I have been on Spark for a long time. Unfortunately, like a lot of other times I have been less than vigilant. When I first joined I had only gained back about 10 to 15 pounds from the weight I had set as my goal and had felt so good maintaining for a couple of years. <BR> Then due to some emotional events in my life, I lost it and put on another 10 or 15. My current weight is 164.5. I still attend TOPS and have some sense of accountability but also have a lot of disappointment in myself. <B... Sun, 14 Aug 2011 14:30:15 EST