LALEONESSA's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=LALEONESSA LALEONESSA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Its time to be a big girl and big girls dont cry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=681294 It’s my birthday today… For the first time in my life there is a cloudy weather outside. The sky is full of clouds. It feels like the sky is gonna start crying. They are just waiting for my command. The wind is fighting with clouds. Its trying to take them away from me. Im not sure which one will give in firstly. <BR> <BR> Im 23 today… The first day of a new age… How does it feel? Im not so sure… I am just trying to figure out where my previous 22 years are… 22 years… from a baby to a woman... Wed, 1 Aug 2007 11:47:47 EST exercises on target to shred lower bodyfat? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=628809 Shoulder workout DONE <BR> Some core exercises DONE <BR> Some abs exercises DONE <BR> Cardio on threadmill for 20 mins DONE <BR> <BR> All of these things lasted only a lil bit more than 1 hour! Good girl! <BR> <BR> Diet is going pretty good. Eating really clean these days! I wore my workout clothes which I used to wear last summer today in the gym. I liked myself in those clothes=) My little black nike training shorts and black top.. I fit well in the shorts but I didnt like my thighs in s... Fri, 29 Jun 2007 06:25:22 EST fiber boost! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=622343 Lets start today's blog with nice things that happened today. I found 100% natural stevia powder in a market! stevia with prebiotic fiber! YAY! it was a bit overpriced but I had to buy it! Thus I can cut down on amount of aspartame I consume. I had been looking for stevia for such a long time! Havent tried it yet though. I'll.. soon.. <BR> <BR> Second nice thing! Found another new stuff in the same supermarket! Its a mixture of wheat bran, apple fiber, niacin and B complex and unfortunately ... Mon, 25 Jun 2007 10:19:53 EST Sore quads ouch http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=620700 I woke up at 7am! For the first time since final exam time. I got bored and I didnt know what to do so I went out jogging. I didnt want to miss the chance to do morning cardio since I can not wake up early these days. It was already hot, it seems like it will another boiling day. It sucks when ur not sunbathing on the beach. My legs, in fact my quadriceps were sore when I woke up and they sore even more after jogging . I must have pushed myself hard this week. Im not sure, I didnt feel like ... Sun, 24 Jun 2007 04:15:14 EST up and down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=619811 Great! I had been waiting for my bro and my father to come over to visit me and at 2 pm my bro called me and told me he doesnt feel well and has a headache so lets meet next weekend! Grrrreeeaaattt! I knew that would happen. I dont care!!! <BR> <BR> Its another bloody hot day. Feeling sticky all over my body. Grrr! Yesterday I had an amazing workout though! Jogging on the beach in the morning, well it was almost noon though. Then weight lifting in the gym. Did quadriceps. Squats, leg extensi... Sat, 23 Jun 2007 11:04:59 EST I'm loving it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=618046 I couldnt wake up at 6 am because my alarm clock didnt ring or I didnt hear it ringing.. I woke up at 10 am, I was upset that the sun was above but I had a great urge to do some running so I put on my red cap and went out to do my jogging. People were sunbathing on the beach, I was running, they were looking at me as if Im an alien. " Who is this mad who's running under the sunshine??!!" they must have said. Do I care? NO! I feel good! Tomorrow I'll be doing my run again. It just keeps me san... Fri, 22 Jun 2007 05:28:40 EST 21st june... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=617175 Completed my workout for today.. In an hour, did only 15 mins of cycling, the gym was crowded and there were also some jerks there that I dont like so I didnt want to stay longer. I am supposed to feel happy and good, I dont know why but Im just down.. I feel unhappy, I know how this feeling can go away, jogging tomorrow on the beach! I do promise myself to wake up at 6 or so and do a nice run on the beach. At the weekend my bro and my father are coming to see me. Next week I'll have learnt ... Thu, 21 Jun 2007 14:25:11 EST Peanut butter story... a long one.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=609298 I love to feel the way I feel right now.. I look at the mirror and say wow Im hot=) Somedays I feel absolutely shitty, I dont even feel like going out, I wanna lock myself in my room and I dont want anyone to see me. Those days I just hate myself, because if I dont have to go to somewhere ( like I have an exam or something) I just lock myself in my room and turn off my phone in case some friend asks me out. I was feeling this way till today's workout. It was so damn hot outside, I was just h... Sat, 16 Jun 2007 15:30:09 EST trying to keep stress in control http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=608249 HIIT on threadmill for 25 mins-done <BR> Clean eating-done <BR> Shoulder and triceps workout-done <BR> <BR> Im proud of myself =) Good girl <BR> <BR> Tomorrow Im planning on jogging on the beach if its not too hot when I wake up and I need to study for my last final exam... <BR> <BR> Still stressed over things but Im trying to keep me calm.. Stress does nothing but destroy me! I'll not give in! <BR> Fri, 15 Jun 2007 16:35:40 EST goals till july http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=606723 I'm back to the lifestyle I love.. Clean eating, workout done even if I didnt feel like doing it. <BR> <BR> Goals till July (I'll set new goals on July) <BR> <BR> -Workouts will be done.. I'll not skip even one single workout! No matter there is a jerk in the gym that pisses me off. I'm almost done with the exams so I've enough time to do my workouts and get enough rest. <BR> -Clean and moderate eating, no binge, no cheat meals till July. <BR> -My calories mostly will come from protein <BR... Thu, 14 Jun 2007 16:24:23 EST from tomorrow on... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=599656 I hadnt written on here for a while. I thought I could control my diet, eating habits and workouts without logging in on here but I just could not.. Final exam stress, sleepless nights, staying at friends, emotional hunger ( lack of my boyfriend) caused nothing but binge. I feel fatter than ever. I am just angry with myself. Today Im back home, final exams didnt end though. I do promise myself to take the control of my life again from tomorrow on! No workout will be skipped, no starchy foods ... Sun, 10 Jun 2007 15:33:51 EST God keep me sane! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=582373 Back to my room, not home, its just a room that I live in… I spent one sleepless night and one night with little sleep. It was harsh but I managed to eat clean, healthy and consume high protein, it was eggwhites and cottage cheese though. I had to skip yesterday’s workout but well I’ll make it up today. Back and abs! Its too darn hot here these days, giving me headaches. I feel a bit down today, Im questioning myself about the reason. I know what it is… Its final exam stress, having run out ... Wed, 30 May 2007 10:15:07 EST why did I do it again!? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=571433 Why did I do it again? I had promised myself not to do it again.. I dont want things to get control over me. I want to be in control of things. I ate clean all day long, I was so tired when I was back from school, I took a nap, woke up in sweats and I suddenly binged on high sugar crap. I dont know why! I ate and I ate and I went to the supermarket to get more, cookies, icecream.. I am supposed to study tonight, I didnt feel like studying. I told myself to go to the gym, I did, did my back wo... Tue, 22 May 2007 15:23:59 EST Girl, leave me alone!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=568970 It will be a tiring week, two exams, two projects will be done. Im just frightened. Im frightened of having enough time for my workouts and studying. I'll work it out some way! I know none of them will be perfect but at least they will be done of course if something or someone doesnt distract me such as that girl from the gym. God, I know her for a short time. She is 30, divorced, comes to the gym with her bro. We became friends and she invited me to dinner, I went to her place. She cooked on... Mon, 21 May 2007 09:28:00 EST cantilever retaining wall argh! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=566460 I did quadriceps workout yesterday. It lasted 1.5 hours to do only 4 exercises! It killed me so badly. I dont want to get bigger thighs but I hate to know that I can lift heavier if Im not lifting heavy enough.Its such a love and hate relationship thats between me and my leg workouts. Today hamstrings will be done. I didnt do any cardio yesterday, especially because I didnt want to overtrain my legs, also because I was hungry and wanted to come back home to eat. I didnt go out jogging also to... Sat, 19 May 2007 04:29:15 EST HORRIBILE! The day after a cheat/binge day!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=563691 I overslept, was late for the classes, whats better is that I was really supposed to go to the university to do a project with a friend. Here is the scenerio after a cheat/binge day. I wake up. Oh my God, Im late for the classes. Shit, I was supposed to go the university. I'll do a project with a friend. Look at the mirror, oh my God, my tummy is still so biggggg, cant even pull it inside.. Im pinching myself, yuk, fat all over my body, I can feel it. My cheeks.. Oh my God, they are just like... Thu, 17 May 2007 07:42:56 EST 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.. AND BINGE! bravo! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=562322 I am too stressful because of the classes and Im having the worst junk food cravings. I ate too much clean food to curb those cravings but absolutely doesnt work.. Im just trying to be strong, not to give in.. I must not give in! I must not give in! I dont want to give in, if I give in, I will binge and tomorrow I'Ll feel nasty! Taking deep breaths.1,2,3,4,5... <BR> <BR> Gave in.. Ate crap..with a huge appetite, want more, oh God, who the hell produces these craps???? They must be illegal! t... Wed, 16 May 2007 10:27:04 EST hungry wolves http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=558980 I dont know why, I have been having cravings for unhealthy processed foods for some days. I went to shopping for food today, got veggies, fruit and eggs. I could hardly stop myself not to buy crap. I dont know why I have such cravings for them lately. Maybe because my room mate always keeps them in sight in the room. Hell, I hate that. I also cant understand how people open a box, get a lil bit of the thing in it and leave the box. I have never been like this, when a box is opened, I automat... Mon, 14 May 2007 10:56:18 EST A nice sunday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=557536 I couldnt have a better start for a sunday morning. I went to bed at 1,30 am.. set my alarm clock to be up at 5 am, set off at 6 am with closed eyes, went to the airport to say goodbye to a french friend of mine.It was great to see him! Although I looked messy and sleepy, Im so glad to have sacrificed my sleep to see him for half an hour! I have done something to make me proud of myself! I'll do something/s that will make me proud of myself everyday! <BR> <BR> Today is my off day, no workout... Sun, 13 May 2007 08:06:05 EST junk cravings! I wont give in.. I can not give in! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=556569 I woke up at 7 am because of my room mate, she was getting ready to go to work. Well, i was ok with that since I was planning on going jogging. I wasnt feeling hungry but I felt like I wont have energy to jog so I ate an apple and drank 1 serving of protein shake. <BR> <BR> Well cardio done for about 40 mins, I felt great when I was back, I would love to go jogging again now but Im afraid of overdoing cardio because Im afraid of breaking down muscles. Maybe tomorrow in the morning I will go ... Sat, 12 May 2007 08:47:55 EST the beach is all mine tomorrow=) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=555159 Its so hot again, I cant imagine what it will be like in summer if its so hot in may, global warming.. We stupid human beings did everything to destroy the earth, the environment we live in.. Its a result/cost of our "modern" socities and living standarts. Anyway.. <BR> <BR> Back to my day: has been ok so far. Back from the university, did shopping, bought two big cabbage, they were on bargain, yay! I was so glad! But my strawberries spoiled, which pissed me off, I hate it when my food spoil... Fri, 11 May 2007 08:04:00 EST headaches, I cant stand... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=553848 Its 5.26 pm. Back from the university. Last night incredibly I had a good sleep, when I woke up, the sun had already risen! Hadnt had such a uninterrupted sleep for such a long time! It was nice to see the sun instead of darkness when woke up! I had a nice day till an incredible headache hit me. It happened also yesterday, I had never had such strong headaches before. I dont know the reason of them but my head is like its gonna crack into pieces although I took a painkiller. Maybe I need a na... Thu, 10 May 2007 10:37:12 EST Great article about toxic people! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=551864 Found a great article about toxic people! I love this term! <BR> <BR> Here it is a summary: <BR> <BR> A toxic person is basically anyone who holds you back, cuts you down, makes you experience any number of negative emotions on a regular basis, and generally causes you to feel like a piece of toilet paper, and not that nice triple-quilted stuff either. A toxic person can be a friend, a co-worker, a family member, and even a girlfriend or spouse. <BR> <BR> So why do they do it? Well, they ... Wed, 9 May 2007 08:30:13 EST morning relief... goal: never give up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=551682 Classes have been cancelled for this morning since there is a coctail or something like that at the university, will have to go to the afternoon classes though. I'm still pissed off at the idiots and the owner of the gym. ARGH! I should not care about them. There are lazy jealous people everywhere but it was my fault that I was taking to that guy with a loud voice and it probabily pissed off the owner so he bitched me about that 20 min thing for the threadmill. I hate these people! They just ... Wed, 9 May 2007 02:52:43 EST low carb thing is not working for me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=549967 I didnt go to morning classes today coz I had a terribile sleep last night, woke up 3 times, nightmares and stuff, plus I binged on almonds. I have acnes all over my face overnight. Its my fault, I was reading so many articles lately and they just affected me and I wanted to go on a low carb/high fat/high protein day and boom the result... Acnes, a terribile sleep and fatigue and craving for carbs. I'll never read silly articles again which tells me about low carb/high fat diets. They suck. I... Tue, 8 May 2007 02:32:24 EST I'm the role model of a 14 year old=) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=549321 Did a nice cardio on threadmill for 30 mins, slowly increasing the intensity till 9.5km/h and then decreased it slowly again till I cooled down. I am not sore anywhere! This is great, but I dont feel like I pushed myself hard enough, which is bad.. Well, dunno.. <BR> <BR> Since I started to do cardio again, I feel much more athletic,much more energetic and lean. I'm hooked on cardio but I know I must not exaggrate it since it may eat up lean muscle mass, so I dont overdo it and much protein,... Mon, 7 May 2007 17:22:36 EST a bad start for a sunday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=546901 I did 30-40mins jogging in the morning yesterday and worked out on hamstrings at the gym in the evening, I dont know why but I felt overtrained, I collapsed onto the bed thinking that I'll have a deep sleep but it wasnt like this, woke up constantly and ate everytime I woke up.. God, I can sometimes control it, sometimes can not or dont want to, I dont know... I sometimes find myself telling me " ok u didnt eat enough today, go eat" or " competition isnt so soon, u can eat" or " no no u ate t... Sun, 6 May 2007 05:01:50 EST This is why I avoid eating with people! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=545355 Had a tough week, got most of my workouts done though although I had to stay up late to study and I was worn out. Today when I was coming back from school, I was telling myself "finally its rest time, its weekend" I bumped into a friend. She was off work today and she invited me to dinner, I tried to find excuses but she insisted and insisted so I had to accept. Well, I ate stuff before going there, I'ld say " I have already eaten" so I'ld pick healthy foods in moderation but she put everythi... Fri, 4 May 2007 16:21:41 EST one step backward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=541057 ARGH! Im going to bed so late these days that I always feel hungry just before bed. Last night I had some cottage cheese before bed and at 5.30 am I woke up and binged on everything in reach! And went back to sleep. Overslept and woke up at 10 am! I do hate myself when I do it! Consequences of night binging: <BR> -oversleep ( its especially if I have classes or something to do early in the morning) <BR> -feeling bloated( I hate this feeling) <BR> -no appetite for breakfast ( I wanna eat my oa... Wed, 2 May 2007 05:05:00 EST worn out because of the university and pissed off because of a dumba** http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=540188 I had an awful day. I was not getting enough sleep (only a few hours a night) since sunday night and I had a project deliver today at 9 am. I had to leave home at 8 am to go to the university. I went to the gym yesterday evening, when I came back ate,studied but didnt take a shower since I was exhausted I went to bed late. I would wake up at 6 am, but when I opened my eyes, it was 7.55am!!! I dont remember how fast I got dressed and went out but I was at the university at 9 am and delivered ... Tue, 1 May 2007 14:41:20 EST Some more new decisions! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=536040 - HIIT will be done for 20 mins on monday and Tuesday and Thursday after lifting <BR> -Low intensity cardio will be done for a bit longer approxi. 40 mins on wednesays <BR> -No cardio on fridays and light cardio on saturdays if possibile since they are leg days <BR> -Rest sunday! <BR> <BR> Updated in the afternoon! <BR> <BR> I took today off since my legs sore and I couldnt even walk on the threadmill yesterday. My body is screaming for a rest! I am just pissed off because it is supposed to... Sun, 29 Apr 2007 03:00:33 EST Another sad night eating story... When will I stop it?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=534986 Feeling a bit upset since I woke up to eat again last night. Whats wrong with me? why doing it? why cant I tell myself to f.ck off back to bed and directly open the fridge to get some food as I open my eyes in the middle of the night? I eat way more than I do during the day and feel bloated in the mornings. I would punish myself and go for a run this morning but my legs are killing me since I worked out on hams yesterday. Im doing something wrong but what? I eat enough during the day, take vi... Sat, 28 Apr 2007 04:02:49 EST I had to stand the consequences! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=533528 I woke up miserable in the morning because of the high amount of chicken breast and cottage cheese that I had eaten last night. I was bloated, feeling weak, sleepy. I hated it, I woke up in sweats. I was supposed to go to classes,but I didnt feel like... I was feeling totally terribile. I saw the sun shining outside, it was 7.30 am, I think. Put on my clothes and went to the seaside. I ran and I ran telling myself I am punished because I broke my mp3 player that my dad gifted me only 1 week a... Fri, 27 Apr 2007 03:04:26 EST no title http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=532927 As I entered the gym, I dropped my mp3 player and it doesnt work anymore. I got so upset that I didnt have energy and concentration to work out. Did triceps and shoulder but doesnt mean sh.t. I did them just to have done them and skipped cardio coz I felt so miserable. It was my father's 1 week old gift and i loved it. Its "nazar" or what? Idiot Petek! IDIOT! IDIOT! I dont feel like studying, taking a bath. I feel so unhappy! Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:30:25 EST feeling weak and sleepy this morning. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=530292 Yesterday was not a good day.. I was terribily stressed because of exams,projects,classes that will be waiting for me next week. Plus work. The transation company sent me stuff to translate, I worked on it all night long. Tried to get enough sleep but my mind was so full that I woke up 2-3 times very unhappily,not hungry or with the need to go to bathroom as usual. I woke up unhappily. I had hit the gym, did weighttraining and cardio but some silly, worthless people and my ex instructor pisse... Wed, 25 Apr 2007 01:12:26 EST God is over there, watching us... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=526019 I did my workout today as I promised myself. Deadlifts, lunges,calves,inner and outer legs,abs and cardio! Silly me I have been ignoring stretching, thats why my legs sore so much after cardio. I'll not skip it again. <BR> <BR> Diet clean. <BR> <BR> Got 2 bags of oatmeal today. I guess I'll eat them in 2 weeks but I just wonder how to keep oatmeal...I wish someone could tell it to me. <BR> <BR> I wanna buy new pretty workout clothes but I can not since I dont have much money left, I'm not ... Sun, 22 Apr 2007 13:40:28 EST going to meet a national bodybuilding champion http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=524505 Keeping the promised that I made to myself and I am going to keep them. Todays daily goals: <BR> -To eat clean, to eat my flaxseed, to eat 1 cup of oatmeal before workout, to eat my veggies (yummmm) I love them. <BR> -To do my 20 mins high intensity cardio <BR> -To work out on gluteus,calves,inner and outer legs, abs <BR> -I must buy eggs, diet cola, h2O and if possibile veggies, oatmeal <BR> <BR> I'll leave soon to go to see a national bodybuilding champion whose gym I attended for a few ... Sat, 21 Apr 2007 06:27:49 EST still trying to improve me and my habits with new decisions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=523974 I cant understand whats wrong with my stomach this evening, I'm having cramps. Yes I'm on my period but its not this kind of cramps. Its something else, maybe I caught cold.. I will keep my body warm and get a good sleep tonight ( I hope to get a good sleep tonight) <BR> <BR> Quads and hams workout done as I planned. Good! Tomorrow calves, gluteus and inner and outer legs.. Cardio done on bicycle for 30 mins. I didnt want to run today coz it would overtrain my legs. Took l-glutamine before w... Fri, 20 Apr 2007 17:05:26 EST Its none of their business but they love to put their nose http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=520896 I took today off school, didnt go to classes, got my computer fixed, did shopping for veggies and protein sources, ate and rested. In the evening my dad sent me my mp3 player and new converse shoes! I'm so happy! I installed songs in my mp3 player and hit the gym with a small top on. On the way to gym I saw 2 of those 3 dumbass haters, they were leaving. I just hate one of them sooooo much. Nasty woman! Zitella! She waved her hand in a very insincere way, yuk! Anyway all the men in the gym w... Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:25:50 EST I love my food sooo much http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=516530 God, its never been so fun to be on a diet.. I absolutely love my food. I never want to change my eating habits all my life long, except the fact that I wake up to eat (grrr) I love my oatmeal, my tuna fish, my cottage cheese, my veggies, breast meats, my eggwhites, my fruits, my cocoa powder everything everything I eat. If others saw me eating raw eggplant, tuna fish out of a can, my oatmeal with sweetener and cocoa, they would call me nuts since Turkish people are not used to eating these ... Mon, 16 Apr 2007 10:41:09 EST Stupid stupid me!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=514759 Stupid stupid me!! I'M A DUMBA**. What did I do?? At 8 am my ex called me and wanted to see me, hell, why couldnt I just say no? I took a shower, got prepared in such a rush and dried my hair ( whats worst I burnt my hair while blowdrying it. A pinch of hair fell down!!!) and I went 40 mins to see him. He took me his home and he was such a dumbass. He didnt talk much, he didnt care about me, he just critized and critized me, my life, my boyfriend, my physique and everything and he kicked me o... Sun, 15 Apr 2007 08:08:41 EST Thank you my dear body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=511477 Never felt soooo good for such a long time!!! Classes in the morning, came back and ate my tuna fish and spinach leaves, then after 3 hours ate a cup of oatmeal and hit the gym. Did my cardio!!! My lungs were about to go out of my chest but i didnt stop, I ran and I ran and I ran!!! for 20 mins!! And I won! It was such a victory for me! Then had my leg workout. Cardio before weight training sucks! I'll do it only on my leg workout days since my leg workout kills me and I have no energy to mov... Thu, 12 Apr 2007 17:40:02 EST I'm building my very first and greatest work of art! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=510521 The saying is true that "You are what you eat" — and it isn’t just about food but alcohol and drugs too. Everything that you take into your mouth is like construction material for your body and mind. Some people build their bodies with whatever is handy, which is like slapping together a house with cardboard and masking tape. Others stir and bake bricks and cement to put together a sturdier structure that can withstand storms. <BR> <BR> Take home desicion: As a good civil engineer that can ... Thu, 12 Apr 2007 08:41:45 EST I swear not to let anyone/anything ruin my day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=508957 It's really enough! I blame myself of being very pessimistic and its obvious that I mess up my mind because of silly people/silly things they do/they say. Today I had steel structures first visa. It was good, I hope I did today. Well I can never be sure if I did well or not since a small calculation mistake that you do because of hurry or lack of attention screws the solution. Anyway... <BR> <BR> I am listening to the CD that one of guys from the university made for me. Its cool, I like it. ... Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:51:17 EST gotta go, dad is here http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=502668 Dad will be here to visit me soon. I feel awful because of the last night's binge. feeling full, having cramps,nausea,bloated,fat and ugly! I dislike myself. I need to stop it! STOP IT! today! I feel like crying! Im stupid or what?!! I feel like .. dad is here.. I'll write more later <BR> <BR> I'm back.. feeling better.. Ok girl, dont depress yourself. Its just prementstruation period and your body craves for sugar and carbs. Dont give in, it will go away in a few days and you'll be lack of ... Sat, 7 Apr 2007 06:06:50 EST Read this when u feel like binging! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=501943 I write this blog to remember how I feel physically and mentally afterwards a binge! <BR> <BR> I went to the classes, I had sugar cravings since last night but well, I managed to curb them with fruits. Today after school, I went to the supermarket to get some ricecakes, there were no rice cakes so I started to look at the selves. Chocolates, biscuits,jellies.. I grabbed some crap and left the market. When I came back, I had no appetite, I ate them anyway, then I craved for more, went to buy ... Fri, 6 Apr 2007 14:01:33 EST Cramps cramps! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=500531 I had a good leg and back workout at the gym today. Didnt do any cardio though because my legs hurt so bad. Well,its ok, I can do my cardio tomorrow. Take it easy. I came back and had dinner, lots of boiled spinach with low fat yoghurt and garlic powder, chicken breast and yoghurt mixed with sweetener and cocoa and milk powder as desert. I feel so full! But I feel deprived! Craving for bread and white flour so bad!!! Its the first time that this is happening to me. I can not control it.. yet!... Thu, 5 Apr 2007 15:42:25 EST Everytime I dont give in, I get stronger! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=499668 This is my new point of view! Yesterday I had a great workout.While I was on the treadmill, told myself "Everytime I dont give in, I get stonger, dont give up, dont give up, you'll be stronger at the end of 20 mins on the threadmill. And it worked very well! I woke up starving a few times last night, told myself "everytime you dont give in, you'll get stronger" It was a lil bit difficult, I felt a bit miserable but i managed to fall back asleep. In the morning as soon as I opened my eyes, I ... Thu, 5 Apr 2007 07:37:59 EST argh!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=497738 Couldnt wake up this morning. Late for the morning class. I just hate myself. Guess the reason? I woke up twice last night to eat! Ate lots of chicken breast, some honey ( luckily only 1 or 2 tbsp left. I couldnt wake up in the morning. How could I with a full stomach like this? I just hate myself. There is no one else who screws all day long well going diet like me! Loser! Feeling bloated! I'll never be fit again. I am puffy and bloated and yuk! I wasted hours in the gym! <BR> <BR> What ne... Wed, 4 Apr 2007 03:55:54 EST hooked on yoghurt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=497114 Diet is going well, at least since yesterday. Hooked on spinach, mixed with yogurt and salty garlic powder. But I love it. I ate too much yoghurt today. Yogurt mixed with spinach, yogurt mixed with cocoa and sweetener... <BR> <BR> My routine in the gym has been changed by the istructor today. Higher reps ( 10-8-6-10), normally less weight. Let's see if it's gonna take me to where I wanna be.. I know diet is the key though. I just hate it I think nothing but eating when I am alone. Do I have ... Tue, 3 Apr 2007 17:19:39 EST