LADY_RAVENROSE's SparkPeople Blog LADY_RAVENROSE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community complaints I went shopping with s.i.l. yesterday. All she did was whine how fat she is at a whopping 135 lbs. I love her to death and I know she doesn't realize it but it makes me feel horrible. Then today I went looking for shorts or a skirt. Everytime I looked in the mirror I felt like a fat cow. I didn't realize how much I hate my own body. I bought shorts last year before vacation and none of them fit. My husband and I have had sex in over a year. I can't help but think that it's because of my weig... Sat, 27 Jun 2009 13:33:03 EST I've been busy!!! Well I haven't been here for awhile. I have been helping with my daughter's play. Working the mics, getting people on stage when needed, fixing makeup you name it I did it!! I have posted some pictures here but most are on my flicker account. Here's the link <BR> <BR> <link><BR>ets/72157606793687923/ </link> Sun, 17 Aug 2008 19:22:21 EST what should I do?? I have been watching my weight for almost 3 mths now. I have been using this site for 2 or 3 weeks. (could be more I lose track of time) I haven't changed my weight in 3 mths. I weigh the same as I did when I was eating crap and not watching as I do know when I make sure that I stay within my calorie reccomendations. My husband is making sure I don't binge more than once a week. Should I talk to a doctor? I had my thyroid a couple of years back it everything came back fine. I just find it fru... Sat, 9 Aug 2008 02:06:47 EST Tropic Thunder I'm sure most of you have heard about the new movie coming out with Jack Black, Robert Downy Jr, & Ben Stiller. Well E! did an episode of True Hollywood Story like it wasn't a movie but actual people. Not as Jack Black but whatever character he played in the movie. (There is one guy called Alpo Chino) It was pretty funny. I can't sleep so here I am watching crappy tv and blogging here. I need to think of some of the songs that I had on my other ipod. My husband is going to put them on for m... Sat, 9 Aug 2008 01:29:34 EST My sweet hubby It was so sweet of my husband. I lost my ipod (I think it fell out at my sons soccer practice) So even though our anniversary isn't until Wednesday he gave me my gifts this week. he got me a new mp3 player and the last session of the X-Files. I don't know what to get him!!! He says he doesn't need anything but I want to give him something he always thinks of me. Fri, 8 Aug 2008 20:38:21 EST my head hurts! :( & other thoughts I have had a headache since about 8 this morning. I have drank a caffeine, taken Excedrin, laid down in the quite nothing seems to help. I have even kept my time on line limited so I wasn't straining my eyes on the screen. <BR> <BR> I have heard back from The Coven of the Raven. Which is good. I can't wait to hear from them and start becoming involved. <BR> <BR> I was watching best & worst beach bods on E! Beyonce drank a cayenne pepper & syrup drink to lose weight for "Dream Girls" Maybe ... Thu, 7 Aug 2008 17:59:00 EST lookin for a coven OK I have just spent about an hour looking for a coven that is close to where I live. I finally find one that sounds like what I am looking for. I try and register a name to be called when the coven gets together but everything I type in I'm told that it's taken. I have tried at LEAST 5 names. None of them worked. arrrggghhh <BR> <BR> Wed, 6 Aug 2008 21:09:07 EST slipping I know that I am not following the recommendations as far as food goes here. It's worse because I can see myself slipping but I can't stop myself. This morning, I made pancakes, reduced calorie, but I eat more than a serving. I knew it at the time but I did it anyway. <BR> <BR> Now I just asked my husband to clean up after himself. What does he do, ROLLS HIS EYES AT ME!!!! I'm like what the hell?? I am just asking you to put things away that you got out. Don't give me attitude. I'll give it... Wed, 6 Aug 2008 16:41:08 EST sunshine on another site???? I was just looking at a site to use solar energy and get help from the goverment to pay for it. I know sounds to good to be true but I was just looking. Anyways I saw they have the same photo on their site as we do here for the sunshine goodie! I just thought that was a liitle odd. Where did these sites get that picture? <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Tue, 5 Aug 2008 11:10:55 EST Nervous Well, I have just about everything to get my soap store up and running. I am so nervous and afraid. I hate failing. I have never been good at anything, other than swimming, so I just don't do it. Like video games. I get realy frustrated if I am playing with someone watching, even family, and I do worse than them. I just quite and won't play again. I know it silly, dum, everyone is afraid of failure blah blah blah. I always think of the worst case possible, it used to be so I wouldn't be surpr... Tue, 5 Aug 2008 03:11:31 EST poor Corey Haim I'm sitting here watching The two Corey's on A&E. It is so awful to sit here and watch someone that at one time had the world laid out at his feet self destruct. In my opinion he is surrounding himself with "yes men/women" and his true friends are just to afraid to tell him the truth. He needs someone to tell him the straight truth. <BR> <BR> For me though I have had a good day. I know this sounds just so corny and contrite but once I become a High Priestess, I plan on getting ordained, on... Sun, 3 Aug 2008 22:22:01 EST store's almost ready to open!!!! I am starting my own buisness. I make home made soaps and bath salts/bubbles. I am getting my online store already. I just have a few more things to post. Photos, new scents I got, that sort of thing. After that I have bags to make. I am taking around gift bags in my neighborhood with samples and a flyer with my web address and scents. I hope to get a few sales from that. <BR> <BR> If you guys could help me out it would be great. I am not asking anyone to buy anything. To be honest, I'm not ... Sat, 2 Aug 2008 21:44:02 EST thank you everyone I just wanted to thank everyone that has written, given goodies, or just sent positive thoughts my way. Emotionally I feel better today than last night (or at 2 am). Physically I am still in pain but there's not much that can be done about that. My mom gave me some of her pain pills but they make me itch. Haven't decided if I will take one. Fri, 1 Aug 2008 12:25:30 EST I hate this OK I know when I have hit my limit for walking. A small voice in the back of my head told me to get a wheelchair when we got to the zoo today. But I wanted to get my excersie in, so I walked. I took my cane and and was ready to burn off the calories!! (we walk around the zoo in a circle from right to left.) Yea by the time I got to the back right corner of the zoo I was in pain. By the time we got to the far left I was in LOTS of pain. So we made it towards the exit and I was walking super su... Fri, 1 Aug 2008 01:02:04 EST Hostess puts beef fat in cupcakes!!!!!! I just thought I would let you know you should be ready the back of boxes. The 100 calorie packs of Hostess cupcakes have beef fat in them. As a vegitarian I find that un acceptable. (Not to mention gross) If you feel the same way here is a link to their site to email them and tell them how you feel. <BR> <BR><BR>?formtype=Hostess%20contact%20form Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:38:25 EST that's damn funny Watching Eureka on SciFi channel. Jack the sherrif was told there were bodies moving in the morgue, when no one was supposed to be there, he said "if this turns in to a zombie attack I swear to god I'm quitting." I just thought that was pretty damn funny. Maybe it was just the solitude. <BR> <BR> <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> "Never bet against a Swed when death is on the line" similar to Princess Bride Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:30:48 EST helllllooooooo That was supposed to be an echo. All alone tonight. Kind of nice not to have to yell at the kids to stop fighting or jumping or the hundred's of other things they think I don't hear up stairs. But to sit here alone all night is a little too quite. (Unless you count the voices in my head <em>20</em> ) Oh well maybe I'll give myself a manicure or pedicure. Maybe I'll even shave my legs tonight!!Now if only I could get someone to give me a massage, I'll have me a spa day! <em>100</em> Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:06:58 EST bored Well Matt is starting his midnight shift tonight. So now for the next month, I will be home alone for most of it. That is when I noticed I eat more and less on time table. No kids to whine that they want lunch or dinner, I eat at all kinds of weird times. I guess I'll be leaning on my friends here more. <BR> <BR> Plus I get rather lonely and bored here all by myself. I really don't have any friends, that aren't on line anyways. There was a woman I hit it off with, but after we hooked up o... Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:06:17 EST nothing to do w/here Ok not really related but I am rather ticked off here/ Christian Bale was arrested this week for assaulting his mother. Now if you don't look any you think was a jerk to do something like that much less to his mom. I know I wasn't there and I don't know the truth however if you do any reading you find out that that he was arrested for VERBAL assault. His mom was saying some bad things about Bale's wife/girlfriend. (I know he was married in 2000 but I don't know if he still is.) Anyways, he a... Sat, 26 Jul 2008 16:36:14 EST frustrated OK Matt works out lifting weights 4-5 days a week. Don't get me wrong I love it. To me he looks super hot and I love it. I know he supports me losing weight but when I want to do some sort of exserise he dosen't want to help. Yesterday I wanted to go for a walk and take my dogs. The need the walk too, right? Well he whined how he didn't want to go if the dogs went. Well their pugs, less than 50 lbs togther. And I am the one that holds both leashes. I just don't know what his problem is. <BR>... Sat, 26 Jul 2008 10:19:42 EST am I a bad person OK I normally think I am kind thoughtful and all around a pretty decent person. However, recently something came up that bothers me. Long story short I don't get along with my folks. After my back injury I was in constant pain and was very limited what I could do. My mom took this opportunity to start calling me a druggie in front of my kids (I was on a lot of meds but I took them as directed or less) say I was ignoring my kids and that there was nothing physically wrong with me. If I ever di... Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:27:36 EST pretty good day My mom watches my niece while my sister and her husband work. She was taking Olivia to the park and wanted to know if I wanted to join. It was nice. I don't get to see her often so when I get to take her places it's extra special. Plus chasing after her got my excises in for the day!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>30</em> Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:25:10 EST I WANT SEX!!!! I'm not lying, but I can't remember the last time my husband and I had sex. I want to have sex but he never does. I know he has "issues" with "standing at attention" but there are other things we can do. My god he doesn't even kiss me anymore except when he leaves to go somewhere or it's bed time. No passion in them NOTHING. I talked to him about it a couple of times and he says it's not my weight but I don't know. I know I have gained weight since the wedding. RRRRRGGGHHH Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:45:00 EST scared to death Ok I was looking at some of the things they want you to do setting goals, collages that kind of stuff. I was thinking of having my husband take a photo of me. Not only to show the changes but to encourage me to keep going. The thing is, just the thought of it puts my stomach in knots. It scares the crap out of me and I don't know why. I am the one that takes the photos, not the one that is in them. I think the last time I took good pictures was at my wedding. I had a corset on, proffectional ... Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:57:33 EST staying on track even with temptation Well I live about 1 block from Tim Horton's. I can see it from my living room!!! I wanted to go there and get some doughnuts today sooooo bad today. I am the only one home and that is when I am the weakest. However I was able to resist and have my organic flax 'n oats oatmeal this morning. I am however having a hard time with the soy milk. My god does it taste awful!!! <em>234</em> I have read several articles however that say it's better for you then cow milk. But it taste so icky. Hop... Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:46:11 EST I splurged a bit today. I only eat 45 calories more than my max recommended. So it's not too bad. Uncluttered my treadmill. Because of my back I can't do a lot of walking so for right now my goal is only 5 min. I know that that is not long enough to do anything but for me that is where I need to start. I told my husband he needs to make sure that I do walk everyday. I told him if he has to take the remote from me if need be. He said he didn't want to get himself killed. <BR> <BR> <em>231</em> Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:35:21 EST I hate tv!!! I can't sleep so I came downstairs to watch tv. There are so many commercials for food. I am starting to get hungry. Any ideas on how to stave off hunger? Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:44:33 EST the first step is the hardest OK I have known I am over weight for a long time. I don't know why but when I recently went on vacation, the c;lothes that fit me then are now to small. I watched what I ate got more excersie than normal. I hope that here I need to log in everything I eat I can see what I am taking in. I try not to eat a lot of junk. I am just so frustrated!!!!!!!!!! <em>249</em> Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:26:11 EST