LADYIRISH317's SparkPeople Blog LADYIRISH317's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Wednesday silliness <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:21:43 EST Midweek weirdness <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 22 Mar 2017 14:30:15 EST It's Tuesday, and... I was awakened around 5:30 this morning (lab techs are evil). The rain was absolutely pouring down. I love rain more than most people, but even I want a break. Some people in San Jose south of me have been flooded out of their homes, and the Oroville dam still isn't stabilized. The drought is officially over in both Northern and Southern California, thank God, so I think we can afford a bit of a break. But they're saying it's going to storm off and on all week, <BR> <BR> Two different nurses... Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:33:28 EST Does it have to be Monday? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I've been retired for almost two years now, but for some reason Monday still bums me out. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I reported the morning CNA. Yes, I'm old and crabby, but I think taking a private call on your cell phone while cleaning up a patient strikes me as unprofessional at the very best. <BR> <BR> It occurred to me yesterday that with few exceptions, meals here are just a necessity and n... Mon, 20 Mar 2017 14:05:35 EST Cloudy Sunday The last couple of mornings, I've wakened shivering like it's twenty below (it isn't). The room is more than adequately heated and I do have blankets. They take my temperature twice a day, so I know I haven't had a fever since I've been in here. I don't know what's causing it but I hope it stops, because it's miserable. <BR> <BR> This morning the CNA looked at the shawl I'm knitting (picture in yesterday's blog). When I said $500, she squawked loudly. I pointed out to her that it's hours an... Sun, 19 Mar 2017 12:16:56 EST Not-so-random stuff I was stalled out on a complex lace shawl and several times I thought I'd have to give up. But with the help of the wonderful folks on Ravelry I got it figured out (move the marker over -- who knew?). So not only is this beautiful design going to be finished, but I'm so proud of it I'm going to knit it again in the pastel lavender shown in the picture: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The version I'm currently kn... Sat, 18 Mar 2017 13:55:16 EST Wednesday laughs <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 15 Mar 2017 12:44:21 EST Insanity Today I met with the new case manager Janice and the new social worker Valerie. I told them I'm tired of withering in this bed. I have only been in a wheelchair twice since June. I can't remember the last shower I had. I told them I need to start getting up at least four times a week, if not every day. <BR> <BR> So the maintenance man told them and me that the medical supply company was sending a new wheelchair and new bed (my bed is broken) by noon today. You guessed it, a few minutes later... Fri, 10 Mar 2017 16:42:19 EST Midweek laughs <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 8 Mar 2017 00:03:19 EST Tuesday fog Not the weather, my brain. I'm actually a bundle of nerves today. Everything irritates the stuffing out of me. How hot my room is. My roommate. Three-quarters of the ads on TV. The food and coffee here. I've got a bad case of the cranky-crabbies today. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So today I bought myself a couple of gifts that -- sit down for this -- are NOT yarn. Food & Wine magazine had a special, with thr... Tue, 7 Mar 2017 18:43:49 EST Monday, sort of I think the staff here is getting a little confused. Last night's dinner was supposed to be beef stroganoff. Mine had one entire little cube of beef in it (I guess it's a good thing I like noodles and gravy). Then the evening nurse put my night pills in applesauce, even though I have no difficulty swallowing. When I pointed it out, she said, "well, it'll at least taste good." Uh, no. The moisture in the applesauce started the pills dissolving, and the taste was horrible. <BR> <BR> I talked t... Mon, 6 Mar 2017 11:52:05 EST Well... My best friend Sacha came on Friday night bringing dinner for my birthday. Get ready for this -- she brought steak and lobster from Red Lobster! She even brought fine china dinner plates from her home. I was just floored. At one point she asked me what I'm currently knitting. I had to dance and hedge quite a bit because I'm knitting her birthday shawl! She knows me better than just about anybody, so I'm guessing she has a suspicion. <BR> <BR> The weather here is seriously weird today. Sun, ... Sun, 5 Mar 2017 17:36:19 EST Wednesday funnies I think I'll make this a tradition. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeopl... Wed, 1 Mar 2017 09:42:45 EST Is it naptime yet? They these rooms hot. Add that to a poor night's sleep and I'm kind of drowsy. Nap is out of the question right now so I'm watching Food Network and trying to relax. <BR> <BR> I should have known I couldn't keep myself to just one. I'm also going to knit this blankie for my loved one: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I'm making the background bright grass green so it'll be good for boys or girls. Besides, the ye... Mon, 27 Feb 2017 14:51:47 EST Sunday afternoon Today I retired my sister's picture as my profile image. I'm torn between wanting it there forever and knowing for a fact that she'd tell me it was time after two and a half years. <BR> <BR> My best friend came for a visit yesterday bringing the care package my Facebook friend sent. Oh my goodness, what WASN'T in it! Pirate's Booty (that didn't survive today), a bag of tortilla chips, several kinds of popcorn and pretzels, dark chocolate-almond bark, instant coffee packets -- I will be eatin... Sun, 26 Feb 2017 19:35:31 EST And then there's that Yesterday I was a mess. I was shaky, I was so tense. I even freaked out when I downloaded Microsoft Office to my laptop and saw Excel (bad flashback to last job). Deep breath, I know it's only software. I'll even use it at some point, but not right now. <BR> <BR> However, in Publisher there's actually a template for creating a cookbook! Lucky coincidence or sign from above? Who cares? I'm starting to put my scraps of recipes into it, to be completed as I'm able to test and refine them. Once ... Sat, 25 Feb 2017 14:53:30 EST Now I know I'm cracking up They tested my cognition this week, and it would appear I still have whatever marbles I came in here with. <BR> <BR> However, I'm not sure about emotionally. I don't cry any more (and that scares me in itself). But lately I'm obsessively trying to create recipes, even in my sleep. I have no way to test them yet. But they keep coming. Turkey-Hominy Chili. Peanut Butter-Banana Bread Pudding. Green Chili-Corn Chowder. Banana-Chocolate Chip Bread Pudding (for some reason, bread pudding, which I ... Fri, 24 Feb 2017 11:57:57 EST Midweek funnies I figure we could use a laugh or two. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeo... Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:18:55 EST Random Tuesday stuff I think the cough may be letting up. I've still got it, but I don't think it's as frequent. Still annoying, though. <BR> <BR> At least Food Network has a day-long Chopped marathon today, so I'm going to enjoy that (Ted...sigh...) and knit. I'm getting close to finishing my best friend's birthday shawl and then -- gulp! -- I start my first-ever pair of socks. By the time I'm through the yarn I have now, I'm going to have perhaps two dozen shawls and at least three dozen pairs of socks. But yo... Tue, 21 Feb 2017 12:44:15 EST This may be long I'm struggling. Last week I came down with a very bad cold. Most of the symptoms are gone except the cough, but I'm still barking like a harbor seal at feeding time. Between cough and roommate, I'm not getting nearly enough sleep. I tried to nap this afternoon, but she had a visitor and neither of them talked quietly. <BR> <BR> I've been away from here so long, I'm actually ashamed to go back to my teams. I feel like a failure. <BR> <BR> I have GOT to get out of this hospital! As soon as th... Sat, 18 Feb 2017 21:25:24 EST Valentine's Day (such as it is) How I'm feeling today: <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I've got a bad cold and I get very little sleep, for reasons I've detailed before (loud-spoken roommate with flimsy bladder, meet lifelong insomniac). I'm kind of fuzz-brained. <BR> <BR> The other day the activities director said to us, "I hope you ladies have dates for Valentine's Day." It's been 26 years but hey, thanks for reminding me. <BR> <BR> ... Tue, 14 Feb 2017 16:59:31 EST Tired. I'm drained. Yesterday was my baby's birthday. She'd have been 35. I would love to think she'd have grown into a feisty Nasty Woman like me. <BR> <BR> My roommate has some sort of cognitive issue. She asks people over and over, am I doing all right? Does (person) like me? It's my fault I fell, isn't it? And she bursts into hysterical sobs over EVERYTHING. I try to be understanding but it wears me out. <BR> <BR> Friday night I sloshed coffee on the shawl I was knitting. I'm going to ask a fr... Sun, 5 Feb 2017 17:13:28 EST Losing my humanity I feel like I'm losing my heart and my compassion. My roommate bursts into tears several times a day over trivial things, and instead of sympathy I just feel intense irritation. This morning I wanted to shout at her because I'd just seen a photo of a six-year-old in handcuffs, and she was crying and whining over her damned toothbrush! I was never like this before. I don't like myself when I'm this way. <BR> <BR> I bought myself a laptop and a bunch of sock yarn (odd combo, I know). My ex is... Tue, 31 Jan 2017 17:44:13 EST Rainy day randomness The weather here has been nuts. We've had such strong winds and heavy rain that we had a six-hour blackout here on Sunday. The power crashed fifteen minutes before the start of the 49ers game and boy, did the fans howl! They kept shouting at the nurses to get the power working again NOW! Meantime, my bed was stuck a few inches above the floor because I could raise the head and foot but not the frame. I was in that position for several hours. Nothing I could do but wind yarn for a new project ... Tue, 10 Jan 2017 21:11:21 EST It's been a long, crazy time I know I've been away a long time, and I apologize. My focus lately is terrible. They recently started me on Tamiflu, and it's messing with me (I don't have the flu but my last roommate did). <BR> <BR> Just before Thanksgiving they moved a new roommate in with me. She almost drove me to the hospital! She's 89, and I'm pretty sure she has dementia. She is also pushy and demanding. I'd ask to have the curtains or the window opened and she'd say "don't do that! It's too cold, the light's too br... Sat, 7 Jan 2017 18:42:40 EST Whine and roses They moved a new roommate in with me. She brought so much stuff with her, we can barely move. She wants the window shut tight because she's always cold. I asked the CNA to close the door at night but she says no because "it's too dark," which was exactly my idea. She's even put in a nightlight! I was a nightmare-prone kid, but I outgrew the nightlight before I hit ten years old. I had to dig the sleep mask and earplugs. The other day she told me I don't get enough sleep and I should ask for "... Tue, 22 Nov 2016 19:43:00 EST It's been crazy I know I've been away for awhile. Things have been crazy, even before the elevtion. <BR> <BR> Two weeks ago the staff here suggested I move to another room. They told me it's a lot quieter in that part of the building, so I agreed. Not only was it not quieter, but I found out that my previous roommate had told the staff that she wanted a private room and was willing to pay a lot more for it. I hated the change immediately. On top of all else, I gained a loud and demanding roommate. I would a... Thu, 10 Nov 2016 11:17:04 EST Crabby Yesterday they asked me if I'd like to transfer to another room. They told me it's a much quieter part of the building, and that the CNA I can't stand doesn't work in this area. I no sooner get here than I find out that it's even noisier and that this room is right in the middle of that CNA's regular assignment. And on top of that, my new roommate here gets very agitated and loud if she doesn't get her way. I asked the evening CNA to close the door on the way out and she said she couldn't bec... Thu, 27 Oct 2016 03:24:50 EST The rambling wreck The rain has stopped for the moment, but I sure hope we get more. California needs all the rain it can get. I also would enjoy a good thunderstorm, too. <BR> <BR> I got a new roommate yesterday. So far she seems nice, but she's a bit of an insomniac. I wonder if I'm becoming antisocial. I got mildly annoyed when they brought her in. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I did so much knitting that my hands and forearms hurt a little. However, I'm progressing rapidly on the green shawl. Hmmm, which to do next... Wed, 26 Oct 2016 14:26:28 EST Tuesday trifles The roommate who constantly complained went home, but the CNA who usually takes care of me on the day shift fills the gap. She constantly gripes that she's overworked. She complains about her coworkers (I don't think she likes any of them). She's displeased with the election, traffic, her cable company, you name it. She even gossips about the other patients (pretty sure she's not supposed to do that). I hate to sound mean, but I'm almost relieved when she's off. <BR> <BR> Last night I dreame... Tue, 25 Oct 2016 14:48:58 EST Through the Looking Glass I feel like this place is some alternate universe I've fallen into. The CNA who usually takes care of me in the morning complains constantly about how overworked she is and how little help she gets from other staffers. This morning I told her I had been thoroughly cleaned at six A.M. and didn't need a full bed bath this morning. She became angry and said, "you just never mind. I know what I have to do." Oh-KAY... <BR> <BR> Then this morning I watched an adorable video of President Obama cudd... Mon, 17 Oct 2016 14:12:36 EST How and why Some people have asked how I got here. It's a long story. <BR> <BR> A year ago April I had a mental and emotional breakdown. This resulted in my losing my job in July and my apartment in August. I've been homeless ever since. In April of this year I developed cellulitis in my right calf. After five weeks in the hospital I was sent to this rehab facility I'm in now. A month later MediCal refused to pay for my physical therapy, saying I wasn't progressing fast enough. This was four months ago ... Sun, 16 Oct 2016 21:06:35 EST Saturday Today is National I Love Yarn Day. Just saying... <BR> <BR> I'm going to finish the current shawl today or tomorrow. Next one -- hmmm -- the complicated black one or the simple hunter green? Or maybe the tailored lavender one? <BR> <BR> This morning I woke up to the sound of a loud argument among the CNAs about who would be assigned to which patient. The CNA I can't stand said if he was assigned a certain patient he'd walk out and quit. LET HIM!!! <BR> <BR> The cranky roommate may go home ... Sat, 15 Oct 2016 13:40:05 EST Rainy Friday Heavy rain, coffee and my knitting. It would be an enjoyable morning if my roommate wasn't in full complaint mode since six A.M. She doesn't like ANYTHING. <BR> <BR> In my defense, the yarn was on sale. I was ambushed by deep discounts. I bought a new shawl/scarf kit that was half price. The shawl is a tailored style but with a lace edging, and I'm making it in bright royal blue. Also, Knitpicks (one of my favorite yarn sources) had sale prices on some of their "value packs." I got one pack ... Fri, 14 Oct 2016 14:24:03 EST Drifting along I finished the sea green shawl and I'm knitting a new one in a multi-color yarn in jewel tones of blue and purple. I've wondered if I really need so many shawls and socks. But given how many women have multiple pairs of shoes and/or purses, I figure that if I have many handmade shawls and pairs of socks, that's my fashion "thing." <BR> <BR> I'm working progressively more difficult patterns, learning things like reading a lace chart (many patterns have charts instead of written directions) an... Tue, 11 Oct 2016 18:15:13 EST This, that and the other thing I'm trying to figure out why they pureed the "roast beef" at lunch today. Most of us still have teeth. <BR> <BR> Today the ombudsman came around. I discussed with him the problems I've had with some of the CNAs here. Most of them are great, but I've gotten some seriously rude treatment from a couple of them. Hopefully the bad apples will be kept away. <BR> <BR> I'm about to finish the current project, a sea-green lace shawl in a positively sinful wool/alpaca/silk blend. I've got a lot of pe... Wed, 5 Oct 2016 18:38:23 EST I'm okay, just sad Thanks for all the help and support. I'm not in a position to hurt myself, but I wouldn't even if I could. <BR> <BR> Maybe I'm just tired of living here. I'm grateful I'm at least not in the shelter or the street, butI just want some semblance of a real life. I want to cook, to entertain friends,to have my bookcases, easy chair and yarn stash. Maybe I'm whining. Mon, 3 Oct 2016 17:54:03 EST Feeling low I don't tell anyone, but I feel like I have a lump of lead inside. I can't even cry any more. It feels like I'm disappearing. <BR> <BR> Fri, 30 Sep 2016 14:23:29 EST Thoughts and stuff Friday night my dear friend Sacha came to visit (and brought fish & chips for dinner -- yum!). During dinner as we talked, I told her something I've never shared with anyone. I worked in insurance for many years. I worked hard and fought to advance, but found myself permanently blocked into the typing pool. I wanted to be successful in the business world -- as I told her, I wanted to be " one of the people with the briefcase and the power suit." It's always saddened me that I never succeeded.... Sun, 25 Sep 2016 14:13:43 EST This and that I just sent a thank you message to the designer of the shawl I'm knitting. With her help I was able to get past the obstacle and now the shawl is progressing well. It's an exquisite design, and I can't wait to complete and wear it. (I'm probably going to end up owning more socks and shawls than the law allows, but hey...). <BR> <BR> Sometime this month or early next a friend is helping me buy a laptop. That way I'll be able to upload photos, download patterns and recipes, etc.. Of course, I ... Fri, 23 Sep 2016 12:11:51 EST And then there's that I was able to get my yarn, and I got three different ones so that I'll be set for awhile. I restarted a shawl I had a lot of trouble with before. Luckily for me, the designer is a member of Ravelry like I am. I contacted her, and she gave me help. She also said that if I still have trouble, to contact her and "we'll figure it out together." Fantastic, because it's a gorgeous design I'm eager to complete. <BR> <BR> Also on Ravelry, I found a pattern for socks whose cables become little owls w... Thu, 22 Sep 2016 13:48:25 EST Wednesday At least I was able to get some decent sleep last night. <BR> <BR> This morning I finished the blue cotton shawl. I'm pleased with how it turned out. Now I just have to wait until someone has a free moment, because my yarns are in a drawer across the room from me. I'll have him/her bring me about three projects' worth at once. (And yes, it drives me a little nuts that I can't even walk across the room right now.) <BR> <BR> They're short-staffed here, and the morning CNA always tells me how ... Wed, 21 Sep 2016 16:31:59 EST Discouraged I'm a mess today. Last night my roommate had insomnia, so of course I did too. And we're voting opposite sides this election, and she loves to watch videos of her candidate -- loudly. <BR> <BR> But mostly I'm just feeling kind of defeated. There's been no progress getting me physical therapy. I'm beginning to think I'm never getting out of here. I want a home and a kitchen again! I want to feel bread dough in my hands, to fill my crock pot with one of the soup recipes I've dreamed up (litera... Tue, 20 Sep 2016 16:32:26 EST Afternoon I'm having a cup of after-lunch coffee and watching tv while I surf the web. I'm also nearing the finish of the blue shawl I'm knitting. <BR> <BR> Awhile ago I had to put aside the shawl I was doing because of a discrepancy in the stitch count. I even counted the stitches on the chart and it didn't tally. But in reviewing the pattern this morning I found out that the designer is a member of Ravelry (a web community for knitters and crocheters). I'm also a member, so I was able to send her a ... Sun, 18 Sep 2016 15:57:40 EST Thoughts If I ever have my own home again, I'm going to USE my belongings. I have new-looking cookware that's a couple of years old, shelves of pristine cookbooks, beautiful dresses untouched in my closet. I've always treated possessions as museum pieces to be preserved rather than things to enhance my life. No more. <BR> <BR> I don't know why I always feel so tired and/or sleepy all the time. I don't go anywhere or do anything but knit or surf Facebook all day. <BR> <BR> Yesterday the speech therap... Sat, 17 Sep 2016 11:57:54 EST La Triviata I'm convinced that hospital lab people are vampires. Not only do they take your blood, but you never see them after dawn. <BR> <BR> This morning the lab needed blood at 4 AM. Then the CNA woke me just before six to clean me up. Then the kitchen messed up my breakfast request (like just about every other day). Then the staff is very short handed and I was assigned to a CNA trainee who keeps asking me, "how do I do this? I am seriously hiding out today. <BR> <BR> I have to brag. My gorgeous m... Wed, 14 Sep 2016 17:18:24 EST Fluff and nonsense The cough is abating, though not fast enough (of course). This morning the RN brought my medicine, and she was coughing and sniffling. I said, "Shoo! I don't need another cold!". <BR> <BR> I've almost finished my white shawl, and a baby blue one will be next. One of the black ones I'm going to do has the option to bead it as it's knitted. I'm debating whether to bead it or not (though I probably will). <BR> <BR> Yesterday I got a call from one of the low-income apartments I applied to last ... Tue, 13 Sep 2016 18:45:55 EST Afternoon This miserable cough has kept me awake the last couple of nights. They're giving me Robitussin for it but it isn't doing a lot. <BR> <BR> The other day the morning RN told me her husband is buying a pedigreed bulldog puppy from a breeder in Kansas (eve though we're in California). She also told me she's terrified of all dogs, and that bulldogs are prone to skin and lung problems. I hope I'm wrong, but I can't see this ending happily for this poor puppy. I asked her why they didn't rescue a s... Sun, 11 Sep 2016 16:15:42 EST Here we go again I have my second cold and sore throat in less than a month. Phooey... <BR> <BR> I'm tired and grumpy today. It gets noisy in the hall at night so I started having my door shut at night, which I never used to do. Unfortunately, since the building is a square with an open patio in the middle, I can still clearly hear loud noises from elsewhere in the building. One poor man here is prone to screaming nightmares. I feel bad for him since I'm prone to nightmares myself, and I feel guilty when I w... Tue, 6 Sep 2016 14:52:47 EST Some kind of Sunday During the night I heard water trickling but didn't pay much attention because there are all kinds of sounds around here. We woke up this morning to be told that the plumbing is messed up! The kitchen and laundry room flooded, sending water into the hall and flooding out the gym. On top of that, half the bathrooms don't work. I never thought I'd be glad for being temporarily in "briefs," but at least I don't have to worry about when the plumbing is going to be fixed. <BR> <BR> Today my dear ... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 13:06:07 EST