LADYIRISH317's SparkPeople Blog LADYIRISH317's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Whine and roses They moved a new roommate in with me. She brought so much stuff with her, we can barely move. She wants the window shut tight because she's always cold. I asked the CNA to close the door at night but she says no because "it's too dark," which was exactly my idea. She's even put in a nightlight! I was a nightmare-prone kid, but I outgrew the nightlight before I hit ten years old. I had to dig the sleep mask and earplugs. The other day she told me I don't get enough sleep and I should ask for "... Tue, 22 Nov 2016 19:43:00 EST It's been crazy I know I've been away for awhile. Things have been crazy, even before the elevtion. <BR> <BR> Two weeks ago the staff here suggested I move to another room. They told me it's a lot quieter in that part of the building, so I agreed. Not only was it not quieter, but I found out that my previous roommate had told the staff that she wanted a private room and was willing to pay a lot more for it. I hated the change immediately. On top of all else, I gained a loud and demanding roommate. I would a... Thu, 10 Nov 2016 11:17:04 EST Crabby Yesterday they asked me if I'd like to transfer to another room. They told me it's a much quieter part of the building, and that the CNA I can't stand doesn't work in this area. I no sooner get here than I find out that it's even noisier and that this room is right in the middle of that CNA's regular assignment. And on top of that, my new roommate here gets very agitated and loud if she doesn't get her way. I asked the evening CNA to close the door on the way out and she said she couldn't bec... Thu, 27 Oct 2016 03:24:50 EST The rambling wreck The rain has stopped for the moment, but I sure hope we get more. California needs all the rain it can get. I also would enjoy a good thunderstorm, too. <BR> <BR> I got a new roommate yesterday. So far she seems nice, but she's a bit of an insomniac. I wonder if I'm becoming antisocial. I got mildly annoyed when they brought her in. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I did so much knitting that my hands and forearms hurt a little. However, I'm progressing rapidly on the green shawl. Hmmm, which to do next... Wed, 26 Oct 2016 14:26:28 EST Tuesday trifles The roommate who constantly complained went home, but the CNA who usually takes care of me on the day shift fills the gap. She constantly gripes that she's overworked. She complains about her coworkers (I don't think she likes any of them). She's displeased with the election, traffic, her cable company, you name it. She even gossips about the other patients (pretty sure she's not supposed to do that). I hate to sound mean, but I'm almost relieved when she's off. <BR> <BR> Last night I dreame... Tue, 25 Oct 2016 14:48:58 EST Through the Looking Glass I feel like this place is some alternate universe I've fallen into. The CNA who usually takes care of me in the morning complains constantly about how overworked she is and how little help she gets from other staffers. This morning I told her I had been thoroughly cleaned at six A.M. and didn't need a full bed bath this morning. She became angry and said, "you just never mind. I know what I have to do." Oh-KAY... <BR> <BR> Then this morning I watched an adorable video of President Obama cudd... Mon, 17 Oct 2016 14:12:36 EST How and why Some people have asked how I got here. It's a long story. <BR> <BR> A year ago April I had a mental and emotional breakdown. This resulted in my losing my job in July and my apartment in August. I've been homeless ever since. In April of this year I developed cellulitis in my right calf. After five weeks in the hospital I was sent to this rehab facility I'm in now. A month later MediCal refused to pay for my physical therapy, saying I wasn't progressing fast enough. This was four months ago ... Sun, 16 Oct 2016 21:06:35 EST Saturday Today is National I Love Yarn Day. Just saying... <BR> <BR> I'm going to finish the current shawl today or tomorrow. Next one -- hmmm -- the complicated black one or the simple hunter green? Or maybe the tailored lavender one? <BR> <BR> This morning I woke up to the sound of a loud argument among the CNAs about who would be assigned to which patient. The CNA I can't stand said if he was assigned a certain patient he'd walk out and quit. LET HIM!!! <BR> <BR> The cranky roommate may go home ... Sat, 15 Oct 2016 13:40:05 EST Rainy Friday Heavy rain, coffee and my knitting. It would be an enjoyable morning if my roommate wasn't in full complaint mode since six A.M. She doesn't like ANYTHING. <BR> <BR> In my defense, the yarn was on sale. I was ambushed by deep discounts. I bought a new shawl/scarf kit that was half price. The shawl is a tailored style but with a lace edging, and I'm making it in bright royal blue. Also, Knitpicks (one of my favorite yarn sources) had sale prices on some of their "value packs." I got one pack ... Fri, 14 Oct 2016 14:24:03 EST Drifting along I finished the sea green shawl and I'm knitting a new one in a multi-color yarn in jewel tones of blue and purple. I've wondered if I really need so many shawls and socks. But given how many women have multiple pairs of shoes and/or purses, I figure that if I have many handmade shawls and pairs of socks, that's my fashion "thing." <BR> <BR> I'm working progressively more difficult patterns, learning things like reading a lace chart (many patterns have charts instead of written directions) an... Tue, 11 Oct 2016 18:15:13 EST This, that and the other thing I'm trying to figure out why they pureed the "roast beef" at lunch today. Most of us still have teeth. <BR> <BR> Today the ombudsman came around. I discussed with him the problems I've had with some of the CNAs here. Most of them are great, but I've gotten some seriously rude treatment from a couple of them. Hopefully the bad apples will be kept away. <BR> <BR> I'm about to finish the current project, a sea-green lace shawl in a positively sinful wool/alpaca/silk blend. I've got a lot of pe... Wed, 5 Oct 2016 18:38:23 EST I'm okay, just sad Thanks for all the help and support. I'm not in a position to hurt myself, but I wouldn't even if I could. <BR> <BR> Maybe I'm just tired of living here. I'm grateful I'm at least not in the shelter or the street, butI just want some semblance of a real life. I want to cook, to entertain friends,to have my bookcases, easy chair and yarn stash. Maybe I'm whining. Mon, 3 Oct 2016 17:54:03 EST Feeling low I don't tell anyone, but I feel like I have a lump of lead inside. I can't even cry any more. It feels like I'm disappearing. <BR> <BR> Fri, 30 Sep 2016 14:23:29 EST Thoughts and stuff Friday night my dear friend Sacha came to visit (and brought fish & chips for dinner -- yum!). During dinner as we talked, I told her something I've never shared with anyone. I worked in insurance for many years. I worked hard and fought to advance, but found myself permanently blocked into the typing pool. I wanted to be successful in the business world -- as I told her, I wanted to be " one of the people with the briefcase and the power suit." It's always saddened me that I never succeeded.... Sun, 25 Sep 2016 14:13:43 EST This and that I just sent a thank you message to the designer of the shawl I'm knitting. With her help I was able to get past the obstacle and now the shawl is progressing well. It's an exquisite design, and I can't wait to complete and wear it. (I'm probably going to end up owning more socks and shawls than the law allows, but hey...). <BR> <BR> Sometime this month or early next a friend is helping me buy a laptop. That way I'll be able to upload photos, download patterns and recipes, etc.. Of course, I ... Fri, 23 Sep 2016 12:11:51 EST And then there's that I was able to get my yarn, and I got three different ones so that I'll be set for awhile. I restarted a shawl I had a lot of trouble with before. Luckily for me, the designer is a member of Ravelry like I am. I contacted her, and she gave me help. She also said that if I still have trouble, to contact her and "we'll figure it out together." Fantastic, because it's a gorgeous design I'm eager to complete. <BR> <BR> Also on Ravelry, I found a pattern for socks whose cables become little owls w... Thu, 22 Sep 2016 13:48:25 EST Wednesday At least I was able to get some decent sleep last night. <BR> <BR> This morning I finished the blue cotton shawl. I'm pleased with how it turned out. Now I just have to wait until someone has a free moment, because my yarns are in a drawer across the room from me. I'll have him/her bring me about three projects' worth at once. (And yes, it drives me a little nuts that I can't even walk across the room right now.) <BR> <BR> They're short-staffed here, and the morning CNA always tells me how ... Wed, 21 Sep 2016 16:31:59 EST Discouraged I'm a mess today. Last night my roommate had insomnia, so of course I did too. And we're voting opposite sides this election, and she loves to watch videos of her candidate -- loudly. <BR> <BR> But mostly I'm just feeling kind of defeated. There's been no progress getting me physical therapy. I'm beginning to think I'm never getting out of here. I want a home and a kitchen again! I want to feel bread dough in my hands, to fill my crock pot with one of the soup recipes I've dreamed up (litera... Tue, 20 Sep 2016 16:32:26 EST Afternoon I'm having a cup of after-lunch coffee and watching tv while I surf the web. I'm also nearing the finish of the blue shawl I'm knitting. <BR> <BR> Awhile ago I had to put aside the shawl I was doing because of a discrepancy in the stitch count. I even counted the stitches on the chart and it didn't tally. But in reviewing the pattern this morning I found out that the designer is a member of Ravelry (a web community for knitters and crocheters). I'm also a member, so I was able to send her a ... Sun, 18 Sep 2016 15:57:40 EST Thoughts If I ever have my own home again, I'm going to USE my belongings. I have new-looking cookware that's a couple of years old, shelves of pristine cookbooks, beautiful dresses untouched in my closet. I've always treated possessions as museum pieces to be preserved rather than things to enhance my life. No more. <BR> <BR> I don't know why I always feel so tired and/or sleepy all the time. I don't go anywhere or do anything but knit or surf Facebook all day. <BR> <BR> Yesterday the speech therap... Sat, 17 Sep 2016 11:57:54 EST La Triviata I'm convinced that hospital lab people are vampires. Not only do they take your blood, but you never see them after dawn. <BR> <BR> This morning the lab needed blood at 4 AM. Then the CNA woke me just before six to clean me up. Then the kitchen messed up my breakfast request (like just about every other day). Then the staff is very short handed and I was assigned to a CNA trainee who keeps asking me, "how do I do this? I am seriously hiding out today. <BR> <BR> I have to brag. My gorgeous m... Wed, 14 Sep 2016 17:18:24 EST Fluff and nonsense The cough is abating, though not fast enough (of course). This morning the RN brought my medicine, and she was coughing and sniffling. I said, "Shoo! I don't need another cold!". <BR> <BR> I've almost finished my white shawl, and a baby blue one will be next. One of the black ones I'm going to do has the option to bead it as it's knitted. I'm debating whether to bead it or not (though I probably will). <BR> <BR> Yesterday I got a call from one of the low-income apartments I applied to last ... Tue, 13 Sep 2016 18:45:55 EST Afternoon This miserable cough has kept me awake the last couple of nights. They're giving me Robitussin for it but it isn't doing a lot. <BR> <BR> The other day the morning RN told me her husband is buying a pedigreed bulldog puppy from a breeder in Kansas (eve though we're in California). She also told me she's terrified of all dogs, and that bulldogs are prone to skin and lung problems. I hope I'm wrong, but I can't see this ending happily for this poor puppy. I asked her why they didn't rescue a s... Sun, 11 Sep 2016 16:15:42 EST Here we go again I have my second cold and sore throat in less than a month. Phooey... <BR> <BR> I'm tired and grumpy today. It gets noisy in the hall at night so I started having my door shut at night, which I never used to do. Unfortunately, since the building is a square with an open patio in the middle, I can still clearly hear loud noises from elsewhere in the building. One poor man here is prone to screaming nightmares. I feel bad for him since I'm prone to nightmares myself, and I feel guilty when I w... Tue, 6 Sep 2016 14:52:47 EST Some kind of Sunday During the night I heard water trickling but didn't pay much attention because there are all kinds of sounds around here. We woke up this morning to be told that the plumbing is messed up! The kitchen and laundry room flooded, sending water into the hall and flooding out the gym. On top of that, half the bathrooms don't work. I never thought I'd be glad for being temporarily in "briefs," but at least I don't have to worry about when the plumbing is going to be fixed. <BR> <BR> Today my dear ... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 13:06:07 EST Randomness Yesterday I caved and ordered three kits for pairs of socks. I tried to resist, but they were substantially marked down. But now I have projects lined up for several months and besides, right now there's really nothing else I can do for myself. <BR> <BR> (Please forgive some self-indulgence here.) I obviously have a lot of time to think while I've been in here. One thing I've given a lot of thought to is how to prevent having another breakdown like last year. One thing right off is that, as ... Sat, 3 Sep 2016 16:54:51 EST Bad/sad day Two years ago today my best friend and unofficially adopted sister Lynda passed away (my profile picture). Not a day goes by I don't miss her and fervently wish she was still here. <BR> <BR> Today the CNA I posted about before came into my room and said, "Next Friday I'm bringing some yarn. This is for me, if you want to." Grrr... I told him I don't knit for hire any more. Luckily he's not the one I'm assigned to. <BR> <BR> I was kind of sick last night. Headache and upset stomach. I barely... Fri, 2 Sep 2016 13:26:42 EST Okay, well... Recently I started a light blue shawl but this morning I put it aside. At a certain point in the pattern, despite a dozen tries, I kept coming up two stitches short on the left side. Eventually I'll pick it up again and try to figure out if I'm messing it up or if there's an error in the pattern. If it turns out to be a problem in the pattern, I'll repurpose the yarn. Tue, 30 Aug 2016 17:40:41 EST Bad mood I'm in a terrible mood today, although the knee has quit hurting. <BR> <BR> There's a CNA here who is seriously bugging me. Last week he came to my room and said that the next day he planned to bring yarn and needles so I could teach him to knit! Leaving aside the glaring absence of the word "please," isn't he supposed to WORK when he's at work? Then today he asked what I would charge to knit a sweater for his daughter. You guessed it, he groused that my price is too high and spent several m... Sat, 27 Aug 2016 17:06:21 EST Friday thoughts My left knee is giving me grief today. I've had trouble with it for years but since yesterday it's hurt worse than usual I've asked for pain medicine twice. Not a pattern I want to get into, but it was the only way I could sleep. <BR> <BR> I finished my navy blue shawl and now I'm working on a light blue one with a more elaborate lace pattern inspired by fish and Dolphins. As per usual I had to restart several times, used some bad language and wondered if I really know how to knit or not! Bu... Fri, 26 Aug 2016 16:37:20 EST Stuff and (some) nonsense As much as the last year has generally sucked, it occurs to me that I'm probably better off without my old landlord (overbearing and overpriced). And I'm definitely better off without my old employer (no comment). <BR> <BR> I found out that while I'm in here MediCal will pay for a haircut for me every six weeks. So I was able to get my hair cut super short on Monday. My hair had been long, hot and ratty. Now it's cool, tidy and comfortable. <BR> <BR> It's been a year since I've cooked anyth... Wed, 24 Aug 2016 17:12:00 EST Still here I'm still in the rehab center, pretty much stuck in bed. The TV here hasn't gotten Food Network for a week and a half. And I've had a beastly cold for over a week. Mostly I occupy myself with this borrowed iPad and my knitting. I've nearly finished my first shawl. I've found that with some of them, the yarn provided will leave enough over for socks! <BR> <BR> Yesterday I finally told my ex that I can't give him any more money. Since February I've given him almost $6,000. If he refuses to do... Mon, 15 Aug 2016 13:58:40 EST And on and on Yesterday they used a lift to put me into a wheelchair so I was able to leave my room for only the second time in almost three months. Unfortunately, I had "stomach issues" this morning and didn't want to risk any problems in public. <BR> <BR> I re entry bought kits for six shawls and/or scarves (I have to see how big some of them are to make a determination). Yes, it was crazy for me to buy them all at once. But besides the good feelings I get from knitting (which I need all of I can get), ... Wed, 3 Aug 2016 21:24:15 EST So... There seems to be some movement regarding therapy. The social worker met with me to discuss my activity levels before I got sick. He's composing a letter for the doctor to sign asking for one week of therapy (to start). If I can show them solid progress in that week, it's more likely they'll approve more therapy. <BR> , <BR> In the meantime, I did something seriously crazy. A company called Craftsy had a big sale , so I bought kits for one triangular scarf and four large lace shawls, either ... Sat, 16 Jul 2016 16:11:41 EST Saturday So far so good with the new roommate. <BR> <BR> Last night my best friend Sacha brought Indian food for dinner. OMG...tandoori chicken, naan, taste buds are still in Heaven. <BR> <BR> Meantime I'm watching Food Network and waiting as before. Sat, 2 Jul 2016 14:48:26 EST In a holding pattern Still waiting for Medicaid to loosen up and start paying for physical therapy so I can get walking again. <BR> <BR> Meantime, the roommate from (Hades) has returned, but she's in the room next to mine . I'll probably hear her screeching tonight. I'm getting a new roommate this afternoon. Hopefully she'll have a (relatively) sunny disposition. <BR> <BR> And so it goes... Fri, 1 Jul 2016 15:17:42 EST Sigh of relief... In the middle of the night last night my roommate demanded yet again to be taken to the hospital, so the ambulance came for her. I can't fully relax yet because they're saying they don't know if she's coming back or not, although given that she insulted the entire staff and threatened to sue several times I doubt it. However, for the moment I'm just enjoying not being peppered with intrusive personal questions, having insults screamed at me, or having to listen to nonstop, unfiltered bigotry... Sun, 26 Jun 2016 13:56:36 EST Okay, well... My Medicaid is still stalling, but it occurs to me there may be an up-side. The social worker here is looking for housing possibilities for me. The delay may give him more time. <BR> <BR> I've barely slept in a week thanks to my roommate. Last night she screamed insults at me. Today she's acting like nothing happened. She says she's leaving Monday, but I'm not waiting. I've asked for a different room. We'll see what happens. <BR> <BR> So right now I have headphones on, watching Kids BBQ Coo... Sat, 25 Jun 2016 13:43:14 EST Roadblocked My physical therapy is on hold again. Last time it was for a week due to a problem with my Medicaid. Nobody's telling me what's going on despite repeated requests. I don't know how I'm supposed to progress without therapy. Meantime, I have a new roommate. She hates Mexicans, Chinese and Irish (!). She also. Constantly wants to talk on and on, even in the middle of the night whe I've told her I'm trying to sleep. Maybe I'm bad, but I'm praying she decides she hates me and asks for a different ... Sun, 19 Jun 2016 16:12:04 EST Oh, phooey... (Side note: thanks to my social worker Eric for helping me with this IPad!) <BR> <BR> Now the "phooey" part: I just found out that my favorite show, Chopped, recently filmed in Napa, not far from me And just to frost the proverbial cake, my heart-throb, Chef Marc Murphy, was one of the judges. <BR> <BR> No that I could get there, but DRAT anyway!!! Fri, 17 Jun 2016 16:26:44 EST I haven't died I haven't had access to a computer since February. I was hospitalized the first week in April for cellulitis in my right leg. I was there for five weeks, and now I'm in a rehab facility learning to walk again. Before the hospital I stayed at my ex's apartment briefly. But he's a hoarder, and conditions there are too dangerous for me. There's a social worker here I'm working with, and apparently there are a lot of options I didn't know about. I don't know what happens next, but at least I don'... Fri, 17 Jun 2016 13:19:40 EST Quickly... Just a quick update. I move to my friend's place Friday morning. Monday I meet with a legal services office for the disabled in Santa Rosa who may be able to help me get a voucher to help pay my rent (when I have rent to pay). And this morning the owners of the Cloverdale apartment called ME to schedule a face-to-face appeal for Wednesday morning! So things are moving. I just hope they keep moving in the right direction. <BR> Wed, 17 Feb 2016 15:18:07 EST Finally some good news Okay, lots to report. I have to leave the shelter on Friday morning since I've been there for six months. A friend is allowing me to stay with him until I find an apartment. This is a huge relief, because the alternative was giving at least a grand a half to a crime-ridden, fleabag motel. AND I'll have access to a TV and a kitchen again, as well as morning coffee every day! Oh, and I'll be moving my computer to my friend's house, so I'll be able to return to Spark full-time again! <BR> <BR> ... Sun, 14 Feb 2016 17:44:43 EST And on it goes Trying to gather all the necessary documentation for my transitional housing application. Geeze, I wish I'd known at the time that all those "you're on the waiting list" letters would be needed for documentation! And some time this coming week I'm talking to someone in the Fair Housing office about possible discrimination issues. Unless, of course, my number comes up at the courthouse (jury duty roulette). I'm tired. I feel like I'm frozen in molasses and unable to move. <BR> <BR> <BR> The ... Sat, 23 Jan 2016 17:38:52 EST And still more The craziness continues. My old landlord is down to one one-bedroom apartment and wants $1,700 a month for it. Yeah, THAT'S gonna happen. I'm not even going to bother talking to them. <BR> <BR> <BR> Transitional housing is terminating at the end of the year (HUD is taking it over to be veterans-only housing), but I'm going to apply anyway. It'll at least buy me some time. I'm getting more scared by the minute. <BR> <BR> Dusty asked me a few questions. Do I get Section 8? I've applied for i... Sat, 16 Jan 2016 16:14:43 EST Good grief... <BR> As the protagonist on the TV show Fringe once said, "Isn't there a point where it just can't get any weirder?" <BR> <BR> I am so tired and beaten down, I can barely move. Next week I'm going to go crawling to my old complex and beg them to take me back. They're hard up for tenants, so it's a possibility. Nothing else has worked. If that doesn't work, I'm up the proverbial creek. I have only five weeks left at the shelter with nothing else in sight. <BR> <BR> At the end of December I w... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 15:34:01 EST Post-holiday update I hope everyone had a terrific Christmas. <BR> <BR> Mine was -- well, you know. I had so hoped to have a new home by now. Tomorrow I'm driving to Sacramento again to talk to two more apartment buildings. I'm beginning to wonder if ANYBODY is going to rent to me. <BR> <BR> There's one woman in the shelter with me who wants me to be one of her roommates. You read that right. First she asked me to share a one-bedroom apartment with her, one other woman and a German Shepherd! She said I could h... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 15:24:11 EST Not ideal, but... Okay, a couple of possible options. I could be placed in "transitional housing" if nothing shakes loose in a few weeks. Basically, I'd have a room in a shared house. Not ideal, but I'd be out of the shelter, and I'd have my computer, TV and access to a kitchen (Four months since I've cooked anything -- believe it or not, that makes me cry). <BR> <BR> The other option? The Powerball lottery jackpot is $164m, and the Mega Millions jackpot is $66 million. Yes, I bought tickets (hey, somebody's ... Fri, 11 Dec 2015 18:49:47 EST So now I'm untouchable It turns out that I have an eviction on my record, even though I left before the Sheriff could lock me out. So now NOBODY wants to rent to me, even though I tell them I will gladly pay an extra large deposit. I am not exaggerating, there are people in the shelter with prison records who are having an easier time than I am. At the Monday morning meeting, one man said, "I've been homeless for ten years." I just froze solid at that. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I looked at an apartment in Sacramento. It... Wed, 9 Dec 2015 15:35:01 EST Still stuck I'm still at the shelter, still looking for a home. Saturday morning we were hauled out of bed literally at dawn and told that we all had 24 hours to drug test and that if we didn't, we'd be marked as a failed test and suspended (read: sleep in the street for a few days). Boy, nothing I love more than being greeted in the morning with threats and ultimatums. (BTW, I passed. If they'd tested for coffee I would have been in trouble.) <BR> <BR> Apartment hunting is a lot crazier than it used t... Mon, 23 Nov 2015 14:47:58 EST