KYLAR_STERN's SparkPeople Blog KYLAR_STERN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Window of opportunity during a bad month So, for some reason I'm feeling in a good mood now. First time in about 3 weeks I haven't felt honestly depressed so I figure I should use this little two hour window to write something up. <BR> <BR> I know what started the downhill spiral, had some revelations about how I just never seen to make close friends. I'm always looking forward to the next thing in life, because the present always sucks for me relationship wise. Realized I'd been fooling myself with a false optimization for the pas... Thu, 8 Aug 2013 20:37:48 EST Easy weekend. Scale agrees. Now what? So I had a recent backslide with binging. Then last weekend I fought down the urge and didn't binge at all. Then this weekend, I was never even tempted to. It was awesome. I'm feeling great, mentally at the right place with my eating, and the scale all of a sudden decided to be super nice. Shed 4 pounds out of nowhere, and didn't put them back on even when I decided to get an actual, greasy hamburger after our fun trip to the waterpark (skipped the fries) I'm curious what it'll say tomorrow m... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 12:23:33 EST Survived a tough weekend So after two bad weekends with both overeating in social settings and closet binging, I finally got my eating monster wrestled back in its cage. This weekend was frustrating for other reasons than normal little weekend vacations, it wasn't an overabundance of food avaible that was the problem, it's that there wasn't any available and what was, wasn't healthy. <BR> <BR> I visited my friends back in college for a fun 4th of July weekend and if I had to sum up their eating habits it would be: s... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 11:14:21 EST Back to Back bad weekends I don't mind making mistakes. I really don't. It's when I don't learn from these mistakes that I get frustrated with myself. I went home for the weekend to see a friend who had a week of leave from the Marines and had one night that was eerily similar to my monster binges (just smaller), a day of all around overeating, and then a last of I just don't care anymore. <BR> <BR> If it's not an amount I'd be comfortable eating over a 2 week stretch, why do I suddenly think it's ok to eat that amou... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 10:09:21 EST Lost a battle- Emotional binge I lost a battle this weekend. That’s how I’m gonna have to think of this to keep myself from getting discouraged. I had been doing so well, as good as could be hoped while staying sane and enjoying a lot social events with friends which involved food, plus traveling for work. Then I go and mess up big time. <BR> <BR> Here’s what my weight has looked like since my horrible bout of 3 weeks of binging. I weigh myself every morning I can and ignore the little fluctuations. Then at the end of the... Mon, 24 Jun 2013 11:07:59 EST Day 8- No more energy I got up to work out again this morning which I’m really proud of. 4:30 am is freaking early after a 13.5 hr work shift and then pizza with friends afterwards. Only had the fitness center to go to, biggest weights they had were 50lb dumbbells. Dumbbell press with that light of weight is rather interesting. Had to do 3x25 to work myself and it felt more like a glorified pushup than benching. This low weight, high volume stuff isn’t ideal, but it’s better than nothing and perhaps mixing my rout... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 07:09:00 EST Day 7- Preperation for nothing Today’s whole mindset involved me making room for meeting up with a group of friends this evening who love baking treats for get-togethers. I think every time we’ve done something it’s involved cupcakes, cookies, cheese balls, ect. <BR> <BR> With that in mind and thankfully with my high protein snacks now, it was pretty easy to get through the day. At the hotel breakfast bar they had what they called the ‘healthy start’ breakfast sandwich. Egg white with melted spinach, tomato, and mozzarell... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 08:50:15 EST Day 6- Oops... Mexican So I don’t know if many people read these at all. They’re definitely not the most entertaining blogs, but writing some thoughts down at the end of the day is nice to keep me conscious of my decisions, and also to not overly freak out about what I’m eat because I’m 80% sure I figured out that my monster binging trigger is me being frustrated with my eating. Talk about a double edged sword. <BR> <BR> Anyway, today started awesome and ended awesome. I got up at 4:45am to get a light lift in wit... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:53:34 EST Day 5- second trip So my second business trip started today as my plane took off at 6am. Oofdah. I tried some overnight oats (.5 cup greek yogurt, .25 cup oats and milk, bunch of chopped fruit) It was absolutely delicious and easy to grab and be out the door since I made it the night before. Weird thing was, I was craving something after eating it as I gathered up my last few things and wasn't able to stop myself from grabbing a cheese stick to satisfy it. Aw well, maybe I just wanted some fat I thought. <BR> ... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:52:38 EST Fishing this weekend, I've earned it Going on a fishing trip this weekend. I feel I've earned the burgers, beers, and snacks on the boat. <BR> <BR> This week, I got 3 good lifts in at 5:30 am before work Mon, Wed, and Fri. I also ran on Sunday, did 3 hours of combined striking and Brazilian jiu jitsu Tuesday, then an hour of Bjj on Thursday followed by a very fun sand volleyball game. <BR> <BR> Lot of work, and I ate right through it all. For me that also means relaxing about what I'm eating and I was able to do that. My body... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:32:08 EST Traveling review and looking forward So I got back from my first business trip and while the pressure was on with continuing to eat right, I feel I did very good. Best of all, I learned that it really wouldn't be that hard to enjoy good food and stick in my calorie ranges. The only real threat to this would be the alcohol, or caving in on a big breakfast since I love those. <BR> <BR> I've got a trip coming up again next week and eating wise it'll be more of the same. I'm traveling to the facility I worked at last year so it'll ... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:50:35 EST Day 4- Flight home Just left the office early because I got up at 3:30 this morning to catch my flight back. I think this whole trip really went well and most importantly, I learned that this is going to be very doable, even with a few mistakes in there. I’m curious what the scale will say tomorrow morning. Probably a pound or two higher because of bloat from less “clean” food, but I don’t think I actually gained a pound. In my trackers I averaged about 1900 calories each day and 130g protein. Not bad, but I di... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 14:59:23 EST Day 3- got a workout in Sorry the last one was so hectic. I didn’t have my thoughts in order the following day and rushed it. Plus I was still just upset at the crappy meal and how my wine glass kept getting refilled on me. Being my first trip, I wasn’t comfortable saying anything and just wanted to go along with it all to make a good impression with the team. I do think nightly blogging like this will help me stay conscious of my decisions, while more importantly keeping me from freaking out when I can’t eat how I ... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 23:27:40 EST Day 2- Buisness traveling role model So I'm typing this up the next day because we got back to the hotel late after dinner. The day was going so phenominal, until dinner. Not the worst thing that could happen there, but I really didn't enjoy it. <BR> <BR> First things first tho, I began to suspect it the day before and it was confirmed yesterday. The Electrical Engineer I'm with has found a nice balance between eating healthy and enjoying the going out to eat aspect. <BR> <BR> The Mechanical Engineer (know as ME from now on) i... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 09:10:36 EST First daytraveling for work So with my summer co-op, it seems I'll have the opportunity to travel on business trips quite a bit. This seems awesome to me as it presents opportunists to learn a lot of different aspects of engineering, make good overtime money, and also eat good on the corporate card :) <BR> <BR> Problem is, I'd like to lose the dreaded last five pounds again since I put them back on. I am looking forward to this challenge, and think blogging each night will both be a good way to keep conscious of my de... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 22:16:41 EST Home part 1 So far so good. I mean really good. I posted the last blog about how I went from 152 to 161 during finals week. After bloat came off it was 157. After the first few days of eating at home I was able to get down to 155.6 while still able to relax and enjoy my time home. <BR> <BR> Last weekend I went with my mom to help move my little sister back from college so we were eating out the entire time. This morning I weighed in at 155 so I was still able to lose :) glad my mom is all into eating he... Sat, 11 May 2013 10:41:19 EST Finals = eating like crap, but good grades? I weighed in at 153 before finals week started. I weighed 162 this morning, and that's giving it an extra day for the bloat to wear down. I figure 1 more pound of water, but that still means I gained a solid 8 pounds of fat in about 7 days. <BR> <BR> Yes, I belive that number is accurate. 3500 calories per pound. That is how much I ate. <BR> <BR> It was utterly stupid, but it was keeping me happy or something and I was doing a good job studying. Like, every 2 hours I was eating a small meal... Sun, 5 May 2013 17:24:50 EST First binge in a while Hoping to keep this brief. Just letting everyone know that I uber binged for the first time in over a month, and gonna try to sort through why it started. It was nothing but lack of will power (and maybe venting stress from schoolwork) that kept it going to the insane 4,000 calories I consumed in under 2 hours. <BR> <BR> It started with an uncomfortable stomche feeling and wanting more food after supper. I think it may have been too much fiber, and not enough fat on the day. My breakfast was... Thu, 18 Apr 2013 13:29:32 EST Upcoming spring break to Orlando! Yep, flying out to go to Universal Studios with the family on Sunday :) Gonna be so much fun, and with this new mentality I have, I'm going to be able to relax about food and enjoy myself easily. <BR> <BR> I've put my binging behind me for good finally. I don't feel like I have to deprive myself when looking at a cookie. I know that I won't enjoy just eating one cookie, and that I won't enjoy myself later if I eat a dozen. Ergo I don't enjoy eating cookies. Except once in a while when one lo... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 13:07:22 EST Lessons learned from a 4 day binge Yeah, you read that title right.And I think because of that, there may be a few more people who clicked on this who aren't familiar with me so I'll give a little background in a second. To those of you I know from around this site, I just want to thank you all again. The connections I've made on Spark have helped me both get healthier, and also retain my sanity. <BR> <BR> Anyway, at my college we have this big 4 day party where we even get classes canceled Thurs and Fri. Now as you can expec... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 14:47:18 EST I need a new plan... Mad at myself today. I binged on carbs again last night. This time, I wasn't even drunk. I was hoping that my monster would go back into its little cage and only rear it's head once a month like he used too long ago now that I'm no longer surrounded by Christmas goodies and not eating at a deficit anymore. <BR> <BR> Not the case, I've had to fight down urges about 3 times a week, and it was only a matter of time before one got the better of me. It was like nothing in the world would make me ... Sat, 2 Feb 2013 18:19:33 EST My Christmas rules This week at work has been full of temptations. Donuts, Christmas cookies left by the coffee pot, work potluck and going out for lunch. This has actually been good. It's like the pre-game to the big season that will start next week when I go home for 3 weeks around my family's typical midwest cooking (loads of carby sides, little protein) and my mom's wonderful Christmas baking. <BR> <BR> I have put together a list of rules I plan on following that will help me not stress so much about what ... Wed, 12 Dec 2012 07:10:40 EST Main reason I binge So I did absolutely horrible over thanksgiving. I loved being home and the great times with friends and family, but I overate by so much. It wasn't the meals that got me, that wouldn't have been a problem, it was the grazing and after dinner snacking that did me in. If nothing else, I think I finally fully reaslized something about myself that leads to the endless munching and why I feel I am unable to stop. <BR> <BR> My body hates coming down from being completely full. <BR> <BR> I've come... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 12:30:46 EST Binging, Cutting, and Fighting Hey there all. First off, I hope you did better over Thanksgiving than I did. I'm really not sure how you could have done worse. I had intentions of allowing myself to eat a wonderful thanksgiving meal, but I completely failed on even being responsible with the desserts and other holiday treats. Lowlights of my sugar binging included an entire 7 oz bag of pecan pralines, 4 slices of pie after thanksgiving dinner, about 6 cookies worth of dough while making them with my sister, and about 6 mor... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 07:43:42 EST To those of you planning on "dieting" over Thanksgiving Stop it. Stop it right now. Don't deprive yourself on turkey day. Eat like you used to with no shame or guilt. If I can do anything beyond lay on a couch and watch football after the meal, I will consider it a failure. You like eating 3 helpings of mashed potatoes covered in gravy? Have them. Can't decide between your mom's pecan pie, and your aunt's pumpkin cookies? Don't, then go ahead and return to the egg nog bowl multiple times. Let yourself have that Thursday to just relax and let all t... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 14:00:33 EST Bench Max 245 :) So with thanksgiving coming up soon and me feeling good now, I decided to test myself and see where I was in the gym yesterday. Managed to one rep max 245 pounds at bench. That felt good. I weigh under 155 lbs and have a max of 245. I'll take that at the moment. Big me was 215 lbs and maxed 295 at bench for comparison. Not as strong as I used to be still, but much stronger pound for pound, especially when you consider things like bone and organ weight that stayed constant as the fat, and some... Fri, 9 Nov 2012 07:17:20 EST Cheat meals, not days, and weight lifting So yesterday, a friend of mine was traveling for his company and ended up in my city. I haven't seen any of my college friends since May so this was great. Even better: he had a company card so we went out to eat to a very nice Jappanese steakhouse and sushi bar for dinner. <BR> <BR> It was delicious. So much fried rice, and the chef cooked everything right in front of us (He used so much oil and butter!) We even got a sushi appetizer before the meal and I discovered that I really liked it. ... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 07:13:14 EST Stupid heel injury Little rant and complaining here, you probably want to stop reading now. <BR> <BR> I don't even know what I did. Its not my achilies tendon that hurts, but a point right on my heel that is just enough to be a nuisance whenever I'm walking. Just enough to notice it. If I pull on the top of my foot (seated, like to stretch the hamstrings) it explodes in pain. I tried to do a calf exercises in the weight room before I thought I'd injured it, and once the weight was all the way back it just kill... Thu, 4 Oct 2012 07:38:56 EST Sick of eating out There, I said it. I'm sick of how everyone's go to idea of something to do is going out to eat. Seriously, can't you come up with something better to do with friends than paying a ton of money to eat a greasy and carby meal? <BR> <BR> Today isn't neccesarily related to that, but we're going out for lunch today. We got some new co-ops for the fall so this actually makes sense to take them out for lunch and meet them. Problem is, we're going to a BBQ buffet that everyone really likes cause it ... Wed, 22 Aug 2012 07:41:09 EST Curving cravings with rewards So last night was one of the few nights where I'm home for an hour to relax after dinner. Usually I'm so busy with training I get home, shower, eat, and then my head hits the pillows. That's probably a good thing as it doesn't give me a chance for late night cravings to kick in. <BR> <BR> Last night, instead of my body thanking me for giving it a slight break (only did my core lifts, not the assistance work) it wanted ice cream... jerk. I bought a couple single size servings of ice cream wit... Fri, 17 Aug 2012 07:40:04 EST Taming the monster So my last blog was all sorts of random thoughts jotted down. This one may be a little more focused (I hope) <BR> <BR> So after the tournament, I had always been telling myself I'd give myself a break for a week. First night I got jappanese grill take out on the way home from the tounrey with the guys. I ate the whole freaking thing. It was awesome. Must have been 4 servings at least. Then on my way back to my apartment, I spontaneously stopped at the McDonald's drive through and got an ice ... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 08:27:00 EST New Breed Ultimate Challenge So for those of you who know me, I had my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament this Saturday. I'll do my best to keep this a moderate length and more pertaining to Spark stuff rather than all about jiu jitsu. <BR> <BR> First off, I've only been training for two months and this was my first time competing in any sort of combat sport. Oh, and for those of you who don't know, Bjj is basically a submission grappling martial art. Think wrestling, but instead of trying to put your opponent on his back, ... Mon, 6 Aug 2012 10:29:45 EST Week of my fight and eating out So I've got a big Brazilian jiu jitsu tournament this coming Saturday. I planned out all my meals in advance for the week. Oh so clean and healthy, and the best part, nothing new. Everything is something my body knows how to handle. I'm sticking to my base of mostly chicken, with a little pork thrown in there. Cereal/oatmeal for breakfast half the days and eggs the others. I figure since I don't have to cut any weight, just make sure my body is humming and operating at its best level. <BR> ... Wed, 1 Aug 2012 08:14:35 EST Happy (Belated) 4th of July! Happt 4th of July everyone. I just want to take a second to give my thanks and prayers to our troops who keep this great country safe for the rest of us. <BR> <BR> So yesterday me and the other co-ops had the day off due to the holiday. I had a productive morning (good breakfast, did some much needed laundry and worked out abs) then went over to one of the guys' houses and we sat out by his pool and enjoyed the nice day. I knew there was going to be a grill out, but that got moved to dinner.... Thu, 5 Jul 2012 08:10:10 EST I love rolling I really do. Me finding Brazilian jiu jitsu has been awesome in so many ways. I get to go 100% in a combat sport with out getting punched in the face. I'm learning a viable self defence method. It brings back the competitive feeling I've been missing since high school sports. No matter how stressed I am going into the gym, I leave all that on the mat and walk out feeling calm. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a good day rolling. Monday, I was just kinda in a funk. I don't know if it was the sunburnt ... Thu, 28 Jun 2012 11:27:29 EST I beat the weekend So as I figure it, the scores are as follows <BR> <BR> Me 2 vs. Food 1 <BR> <BR> Me 3 vs. Alcohol 0! <BR> <BR> Me 1 vs. Laziness 1 <BR> <BR> Me 0 vs. Sun 5 <BR> <BR> We ate out for literally every meal Friday afternoon through Sunday until dinner. I did good for the most part. We left Friday and stopped at an all you can eat BBQ house. Oh no. I did ok, new I couldn't limit to one plate, so I grabbed about half as much and filled with the green beans twice. about 6 oz of pulled pork with... Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:50:13 EST Fighting Weight Hey there, so I found some extra motivation to make sure I get my weight down. No, I found my main motivation. International Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Federation (IBJJF) is holding an open championship in my town come mid september. I just started training Brazilian jiu jitsu about a month ago so I'm just a white belt, but with a few more months of training I'd love to compete against other white belts. And I mean would LOVE to compete at this event. <BR> <BR> Right now I say I'm weighing 170, but... Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:47:57 EST Boredom is my enemy So recently I had an old enemy rear its ugly head. Snacking <BR> <BR> And not the grab an apple or handful of almonds that I plan into my day, but the "raid the pantry for anything and everything I can eat without having to prepare it." <BR> <BR> I had one horrible night of this, and one that I kept under semi-control. Likely becuase I had already eaten everything else the first night. The common denominator? I was bored on the couch and watching tv. <BR> <BR> I need to find a way to igno... Tue, 12 Jun 2012 11:24:39 EST Working my ass off So according to Spark, I have burned 5,584 calories this week. <BR> <BR> wow <BR> <BR> I feel Spark over estimates calories burned, but this is still the hardest I've worked. Ever. And that even goes back to two-a-day football practices in high school. <BR> <BR> The main motivation I've gotten is from deciding to take Brazilian jiu jitsu seriously. The school here has such a knowledgeable professor and many brown/purple belts that are more than willing to help out us lowly white belts. I'... Sat, 9 Jun 2012 13:18:13 EST Week recap 6/1/12 Ow wow. So I just got done moving down to Georgia without doing too much damage. I took some time off spark cause I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on eating right, and really I didn't want to. Gave myself a week and a half of eating whatever I wanted. Think I gained about 4 pounds haha but I'm back to eating right again. A pound under from where I started my second week down here so I'd call that move a sucess. <BR> <BR> I ate great this week. Possibly the best 4 day span I've ever put tog... Fri, 1 Jun 2012 09:49:56 EST Thinking about starting to blog here... Hey there! So I've never done this whole blog thing before, but I'm thinking putting my weekly thoughts down will help me stay focused. I guess this being my first I should give some background about myself and far I've come so far. <BR> <BR> Let's see... I've always been a bigger guy. I'm only 5'8" and in highschool I played offensive guard and middle linebacker. I was about 200 pounds then but was strong enough to make it work. Unfortunately I carried around extra pounds all my life but wo... Tue, 8 May 2012 12:20:11 EST