KJELLYBEAN15's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=KJELLYBEAN15 KJELLYBEAN15's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ New Year! Hopefully new me? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5584250 I have been terrible. No, not just terrible - horrible. And not just that. Worse. I can't wrap my mind around what makes me do this. Why do I work my butt off and then tempt fate and give in to only give up? Why do I rebel against myself? <BR> <BR> Is this is? Is this the aha moment? Is this just another start to failure? I stopped logging in because I really felt like I was letting my friends down and I didn't want to disappoint them with my failures. But looking at it now, I thin... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 12:05:24 EST Apologies. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5386699 Well, to start I would like to apologize. I haven't been very active here lately. I feel like I am not being honest to anyone, especially myself when I am not remaining active. Why? Well, the less active I am here, the less active I have also been physically. And, to top it off, the less active I have been physically, the less active I have been in eating right, taking care of myself, or even caring. <BR> <BR> We have a LOT of stuff going on at work. You would think it would be a good ... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 09:06:32 EST Happy Birthday - I love you. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5328833 First of all, let me start this by saying I'm sorry. This is not an easy post for me. But I have to get this out there. I can't keep it in. Hit the back arrow on your browser now so not to get sucked into my sadness. <BR> <BR> 21 years ago today should have been one of the happiest days of my life. But it wasn't. 21 years ago today actually ended up being the saddest day I have known in my life. You see, 21 years ago today my daughter, Clarissa Skye was born. I don't have a birth cer... Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:07:48 EST Hey y'all. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5325052 Good morning, <BR> <BR> Just wanted to update y'all. I am still here. I have been super busy covering for a vacationing co-worker. <BR> <BR> My kids had softball tournaments running Friday night and all day Saturday. Sundays games were rained out so we will resume them Thursday night. <BR> <BR> The A/C in my car has been acting up the last few weeks. It finally decided to stop cooling permanently on Saturday in the midst of the days heat. Hubby tried looking at it Sunday, changed ... Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:39:35 EST Happy Hump-Day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5318124 Good morning to all of my fellow Sparkers. I hope today finds you well. And Sparkly. <BR> <BR> I don't have too much to report on. I am feeling soooo much better. Looking forward to a workout this morning. Hoping to get back to pre-sickness strength soon. But I will be happy with surviving a workout regardless of how long I go. <BR> <BR> Work is rather busy this week. One of my co-workers is out and I am covering her work along with mine. I am so not complaing though as things hav... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 09:31:05 EST Daughter's Update. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5312338 Morning, <BR> <BR> I just wanted to start this by thanking everyone for their support yesterday. <BR> <BR> My daughters appointment went alright. The Dr believes it's just inflammation due to irregular hormone surges as it is that time of the month. The Dr just wants us to keep a diary of when her cycles begin and what changes she notices in her breast(s) throughout the month for the next 4-6 months before deciding to do any further testing. <BR> <BR> If during this time the lump does... Fri, 5 Apr 2013 08:45:16 EST My daughter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5311229 Good morning, <BR> <BR> I have an early day today. I am taking my daughter to the Dr this afternoon. I haven't wanted to put words into this, because I feel completely confident that this is totally normal and everything is going to be just fine. But I don't want to discuss this with the hubby, or daughter, or anyone else just yet. <BR> <BR> She called me on Tuesday with a concern she had. I had her show me that evening after I got home from work. She has a fairly good sized mass in... Thu, 4 Apr 2013 10:07:21 EST Just like a fat kid http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5304420 I just love how supportive everyone is here. I am feeling so much better today. <BR> <BR> I really do think because of being sick, the weather, and me not being able to get my evening workouts in has really put me in the dumps. But this IS going to change. I will make it change. One way or another. I dare anyone get in this woman's way. No, seriously. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1121840559.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Got a workout in today. Did an hour on the tread... Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:50:14 EST Bored! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5303282 Come on already. I know this is so overdue, but I just can't seem to get my rear end moving. I think I am losing focus. Well, maybe not losing focus. More like needing to re-focus a little I guess. I am still here. I am still (trying) at getting under my calories and I am still hitting the gym. But my steps have been low. And I haven't been doing as much working out in the evenings. <BR> <BR> But I am not detered in anyway. Just don't feel that incredibly magical enthusiasm as I h... Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:35:49 EST Good Grief Charlie Brown! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5293499 Wow! I actually just sat here and typed up an entry to have it disappear. Oh well, I guess I am going to go with a condensed version. <BR> <BR> I am back from my camping trip. Wish I can say it ran smoothly but it didn't. I crashed my bike. Walked away with bruising and scraped up knee but it hurt pretty good. <BR> <BR> We had issues with the camper we rented from base. The oven didn't work so we were stuck with bbq, microwave, and burners. Not bad but I did have a few things I w... Wed, 20 Mar 2013 10:04:19 EST Ramblings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5283873 I'm still here. Been having issues making it through the weekends again. Something I really need to focus on. The problem is that I don't have a certain schedule that must be followed so I eat based on when I get up, then do what needs to be done, go where we need to go, etc..... <BR> <BR> Saturday we spent all day at the ball fields. We were smart and packed cut up oranges, granola bars, apples, and water. We also brought sunflower seeds for the stressful snacking I tend to do watchin... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:50:26 EST A new day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5279057 Yes, today is a new day. Things are a lot better. Am 100% and completely motivated to staying that way. <BR> <BR> My father in law was actually released yesterday, even though his blood pressure is still very low. But the CT scan and lab results showed no reason for the passing out and no damage from hitting his head afterwards. Nothing new yet on my sister in law. Hoping to hear something more tonight. <BR> <BR> Good golly I ate terribly yesterday. Even though I over ate, I am stil... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 15:17:40 EST Selfish Emotions With a Side of Chocolate http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5277547 I've never been an emotional eater. At least not that I have ever noticed. When I am having a bad or sad or heartbreaking day I usually don't eat. I have a hard time making myself eat. At least this is what I have thought. <BR> <BR> This morning my DH calls to tell me his father passed out and hit his head at work and was being taken by ambulance to the ER. We've been waiting to get results from CAT scan. He lives about 8-10 hours away so we can't be there right now. <BR> <BR> While... Thu, 7 Mar 2013 14:17:01 EST To a Long Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5275706 Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. "Mrs. Brown''; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly. 'Mrs. Brown", that is very unusual. How old are you?' 'Ninety-eight.' she replied. 'Oh, Mrs. Brown, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person c... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 10:14:53 EST Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5274227 Today I am to focus on doing just one thing to help me get closer to my goal. Only one thing? Really? That sounds totally reasonable. Not difficult at all. Not like a list of things. How hard could this really be? <BR> <BR> I can't think of just one thing. Sure there are a lot. But one thing? How do I pinpoint just one? I think this is what throws me off. I think way too much. So Im going to try and back off here and do the whole eeny meeny miny moe thing. <BR> <BR> So I am go... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 11:36:13 EST Day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5272731 Man, I love starting the month off all gung-ho and ready to kick major butt. And then the weekend comes and grr. Saturday was great. I got my steps. No major exercise but I did get them. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was another story. I ate anything and everything in sight. It seems like the only things I craved were sugar filled junk. Yikes. And the sunflower seeds Friday night and Saturday morning have me swollen. <BR> <BR> But my objective is to picture myself paging through a flipbo... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 13:04:30 EST March 1 - Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5268338 Okay, I have to get serious. I really need to re-focus my attention into doing better with my fitness and especially my nutrition. I pre-purchased the new book and am restarting my SparkCoach. <BR> <BR> Today's Program has me visualizing myself standing in front of a powerful waterfall in a beautiful place. I am to harness that energy and power to help me stay strong all day long. <BR> <BR> This waterfall is from Yosemite National Park in California. I grew up in SoCal and have been t... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 10:12:12 EST I have a zoo!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5263479 Had a great weekend. Hosted my daughter's Sweet 16 Birthday party Saturday. We had nearly 30 people at our house. But we had a blast. When all was said and done we had 10 large pizzas left over as well as pasta salad, green salad, macaroni salad and garlic bread. We took off on an adventure to downtown Pensacola and distributed to the local regular homeless there. <BR> <BR> We then babysat two foster puppies that were going to a pet adoption Sunday. One of which I had a serious crush... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:54:27 EST Run, jellybean, run!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5260110 Feeling a bit more optomistic today. I mean, afterall, it is what it is. <BR> <BR> So on to better things. I had a bad case of bronchitis back in October that threw me for a loop that is still affecting me. First thing was that I couldn't breath. At all. So I got that taken care of. But the prednisone made me baloon up and gained about 10 pounds. The antibiotics made me sicker than anything. And the inhaler caused my bp to soar. <BR> <BR> Well I didnt let that rerail me. It sure s... Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:04:32 EST Sad pathetic servants. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5258965 Well I am a bit uncertain about a few things. Some of you know that I work for good ole' Uncle Sam. And well, if you watch the news or surf the web I am certain that you know we are facing a furlough coming April 1st. That is 1 day a week for 22 weeks. This is going to be a HUGE cut for me alone. And not just me. Hubby also works for Uncle Sam. We will both be hit hard by these cuts. <BR> <BR> I am really trying to remain positive and find something good of this even if it happens:... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 15:55:17 EST Your "happy" pill for the day. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5256257 Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1581508122.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2066022019.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/6/l760774336.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1447814688.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1620115096.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/n... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 13:32:30 EST Valentine? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5247738 I don't know if it's because I am stuck in this pit. Or if it's 17 something years of being together. Or what. But seriously, I have no idea or shall I say desire to exhange valentines with my hubby. <BR> <BR> Dont get me wrong. I love this man more than anything. I would do anything for him. But let's face it, it has been over 17 something years that we have been together. That magical spark of lust or whatever you call it has grown old. Older. I don't know. <BR> <BR> Valentin... Tue, 12 Feb 2013 12:20:57 EST Wild Rants. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5242864 Well I am really bad about not doing this more often. Most of the time I really don't know what to say or don't even have anything to say. <BR> <BR> Even though things have been slow and there were some gains around the holidays I have managed to lose 9 pounds since Dec 28th. For that I am grateful. <BR> I am a bit dissapointed in the fact that I keep challenging myself to do certain things that I either can't do or don't end up following through with. The list goes something like this: ... Fri, 8 Feb 2013 12:53:01 EST Celebrating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5239012 I am so happy! My daughter just called. Her husband (is in the Air Force) just found out that he was accepted into a new position. They don't have any dates yet but sometime between the next 4 weeks and this summer he will be leaving for training. <BR> <BR> They currently live in Montana. His training will be in Texas. I am in Florida. Well while he is training she, along with my grandpuppies will be staying with us. We have no idea how long training will be and we don't know where ... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 16:25:20 EST Got Jiggle? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5231630 Okay, not sure how I really feel about this. <BR> <BR> Last night I was on the treadmill doing my walk/jog. Under the (loud) music I could hear my husband, which was totally interupting me. Now let me take you back. Since the colder weather has kicked in I haven't been taking the dogs for their walks. The rott is getting really jealous of the treadmill and will bring me toys. She will literally place such toy(s) on the treadmill. Everyone says she is being nice to me. But deep down I... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:44:15 EST Dusty Underwear http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5221834 Just got a good giggle on thanks to one of my friends on Fitbit and thought you might enjoy. <BR> <BR> <BR> Dusty underwear <BR> <BR> One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!" <BR> <BR> His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. <BR> <BR> The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out ... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 15:16:33 EST Struggling - just my own personal rant. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5218294 I guess I would say I am struggling. It seem like everything is a battle right now. <BR> <BR> It started last week when I had to have a tooth extracted. I have been in a bit of pain since. I have noticed the tooth in front is giving me pain I didn't have previously. I have a follow up tonight and hope there isn't any problems with the healing of the socket. I have heard the treatment for a dry socket can be worse than anything else. Grrr. <BR> <BR> I have been instructed to refrain ... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 09:38:30 EST H2O http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5208323 I know this can't be happening but this is two days in a row where I am posting. Hmmm. Strange. <BR> <BR> You know when you are trying to make changes in your lifestyle and there are things you need to do differently but it just doesn't come so easily? So you focus on doing just that over and over until it becomes naturally for you to be doing it right? Well that's been going on with me the past several months or so. I have really been focusing on my fruits and veggies because I never g... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:12:20 EST Frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5206284 I know I don't post a lot. I really don't ever know what to say, if I even have anything worth saying. <BR> <BR> I'm thinking that maybe I need to do. Maybe it'll help me with some accountability. I know what I am doing. I am motivated. I get up and bust my butt at the gym. I get my steps in. Okay, well except for yesterday. Sundays are hard because I am in Church, teaching Sunday School, and usually reconnecting with the family. It's my down day. <BR> <BR> I have been very particu... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 08:50:11 EST I'm jumping on the bandwagon too. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5191187 Copy and Paste into your own blog, change the answers to suit you <BR> and help your SparkFriends get to know you. <BR> <BR> Where is my cell phone? <BR> On the table next to me <BR> <BR> Spouse? <BR> Yes <BR> <BR> Your hair? <BR> A wee bit past my shoulders now. Seeing if I can grow it out this year. <BR> <BR> Your mother? <BR> 66 <BR> <BR> Your father? <BR> Passed away <BR> <BR> Your favorite thing? <BR> Books and ice cream <BR> <BR> Your dream last night? <BR> I don't remem... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 08:35:18 EST Grr. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5176481 Well, here it is...... I wasn't perfect. As a matter of fact - I was outright awful. <BR> <BR> I started off on the right path. I had a couple of amazing workouts Friday, Saturday, and Monday. Even took up a great game of racquet ball with my daughter on Monday. I was very active while on leave. <BR> <BR> We also planned for fairly healthy meals and chose not to have deserts in the house. No pies. No Fudge. No baking. We even chose not to put any edible items in the stockings ... Wed, 26 Dec 2012 09:41:10 EST Anti social or just plain weak? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5171913 Forgive me, but this is mainly just a rant. <BR> <BR> I’m not sure if it’s just that time of the year or just plain life but it seems like every time I turn around I am having to turn down invitation after invitation to some sort of social event or another. It wouldn’t be so bad if they all didn’t revolve around eating, snacking, etc. Each Sunday of this month groups from the church come in early and make breakfast for the congregation before Sunday school starts. I haven’t attended one... Thu, 20 Dec 2012 10:15:35 EST Bless the innocent http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5166493 Dear God, <BR> <BR> I am watching the news right now about the elementary school shooting. My heart is breaking to hear of those poor innocent children and teachers as well. I cannot understand what makes people become evil. Fri, 14 Dec 2012 12:58:40 EST Looks like I finally caught the elusive forty! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5166270 I must admit that I had become a bit frustrated that it teased me for as long as it did. When I was a mere .8 lbs from meeting her, she’d laugh at me and run the other way. She’d run so long and hard that I don’t think she even realized just how far she’d go. Maybe she was only playing. Maybe she wanted me to get up off my fat arse and come running after her. But I haven’t played hide and seek since I was a child and I just wanted to lasso her butt to the digital scale. <BR> <BR> I have... Fri, 14 Dec 2012 09:09:14 EST Kharma http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5164477 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/4/l742784705.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Just couldn't help but share a little piece of the news. Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:38:30 EST The Fast Fading $50 Jeans! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5151744 So, about a week or so, while I was doing some Christmas shopping, I came across a really cute pair of jeans. Out of curiosity I decided to try them on in two sizes smaller than the ones I have been wearing. They did not button. I almost cried. I was so thrilled. I am only like ½ and inch away from them fitting. I was really looking forward to going back and getting them when they fit. <BR> <BR> Well, because they were so amazingly cute, I decided to try on the next size up (a size s... Fri, 30 Nov 2012 14:20:28 EST Today......November 19th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5140246 Today…. <BR> Is a good day to “get it right”. <BR> Is a good day to burn some extra calories. <BR> Is a good day to figure out what in the heck is going on. <BR> <BR> <BR> My weight loss chart looks more like an EKG. It’s all over the place. I linger within a pound or two most days. I tend to lose about 4 pounds the week I start my cycle. Then it slowly goes back up the following week. Then I spend the next two weeks correcting that gain and praying that I lose something more. I h... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 10:15:54 EST Here goes nothing. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5135378 Well I have been here a little while and being that I really don't like writing, I have chosen not to participate in creating an entry. I guess this is something I am going to have to overcome if I intend on having some sort of written record of my evolution. <BR> <BR> So tonight is a big stressor for me. I love my church family. However, everyone likes to eat. We are always having some sort of function that involves food. And tonight we are having our Thanksgiving potluck feast. <BR>... Wed, 14 Nov 2012 16:19:24 EST