KIMBERLY0916's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=KIMBERLY0916 KIMBERLY0916's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 08/26/2015 photos + creativity + connection + community http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985114 in August 2013 I was accepted into the Athens Photographic Project after having to wait a few years to get in. I was THRILLED. Then out of nowhere I got accepted to resume my digital design degree at The Art Institute in Cincinnati and had to withdraw from APP. I was BUMMED. yes, really. LOL. <BR> <BR> Well yesterday I happily went to the first session of APP for this 2015-2016 year. I'm beyond giddy about it. And from the looks of random photos some of my class members have already taken an... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 11:29:43 EST 08/23/2015 better living through chemistry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983253 Oh the irony... A long time ago we used to be friends... Oops I did it again... Hahah just kidding; I got lots of song lyrics rolling.. down the river.. Through my head. Anyways, I've previously written about how I tried living through chemistry.. Whether it was prescription meds, recreational drugs, alcohol, body chemistry, etc.. And awhile back I had to try something different... More natural. So it's hilariously ironic that I now have to put those chemistry skills to use in figuring o... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 15:24:18 EST 08/22/2015 OCD & Anxiety (and I add in ADD) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982625 Here's some great insight!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> Except for some of the steps counting.. Add in clean off the counter because germs and throw aWay the banana peel because bugs... Take away the smoking.. And add oh crap the door is open, the air feels nice, ahhh breathe I can be calm, focus on calm, was that a bug, damm!t that was a bug, I need to shut the door and go find the bug before it lays eggs, pooh eggs, did I eat breakfast, eggs sound good, eggs, eggs, bugs lay eggs, OH sh!t gotta find t... Sat, 22 Aug 2015 12:04:58 EST 07/21/2015 be kind to yourself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964228 so after a super stressful and emotional (both good and bad) weekend & reception & life, I was really NOT looking forward to going to group yesterday and potentially hear BS excuses about why people didn't come to the reception Sat night. Well, I knew I'd have to face reality sooner or later. And I certainly didn't want to sit at home and look at all the stuff that needs cleaned, needs hung up, needs put away, needs returned, etc... <BR> <BR> well Kimberly Odds strikes again! Of all the DBT ... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 08:55:52 EST 07/07/2015 seems obvious now...this could be a REAL breakthrough!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5956842 there are many updates with me lately that I haven't been able to write up but i wanted to share a really important one <BR> <BR> i still have quite a bit of research to do and i'll talk with my doctor on Friday about all this. <BR> <BR> a close friend of mine just had surgery to help her with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and she's noticed a lot of similar symptoms in me. She has suggested I get some things checked out and so I will mention this to the doc. <BR> <BR> However, the bigge... Tue, 7 Jul 2015 09:40:10 EST 07/02/2015 i need a me .. a healthy me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5954540 i need a me to take over filing, scheduling, paperwork, follow-ups, phone calls, making sure laundry is done, trash is taken out, dishes washed, everyone is fed, etc... <BR> <BR> I haven't been able to lately and it's killing me to be so dysfunctional and unhealthy. I'm trying to remind myself that being unhealthy and sick is the very reason I am dysfunctional and unable to take care of even basic needs. Thu, 2 Jul 2015 17:23:03 EST 06/21/2015 a year in perspective ... measure in love http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5948711 in no particular order, here are some tidbits I've been thinking about and some I've shared on Facebook (pics at the end) <BR> <BR> <link>http://mashable.com/2015/06/09/60-ye<BR>ar-old-uptown-funk </link> <BR> GOALS .. it's good to have them!!! .. now if only I could get out of bed (sad reality of possible kidney infection) .. but really I can't even get through a whole zumba routine ..but this looks like FUN <BR> <BR> I love this punk ‪#‎SLCPunk‬ ‪#‎PunksDead‬ — feeling lov... Sun, 21 Jun 2015 15:20:52 EST 06/16/2015 recognize the moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5946091 so many things to update y'all on but i'll try to keep this brief (i know i tell myself encouraging (cough lies cough) all the time bc it helps) <BR> <BR> someone i know posted a goofy mirror selfie on FB (her caption on pic: Oh em gawd mirror thelfie what of it) .. my reply to her post: <BR> <BR> it's good to document progress and (especially) in times of rejoicing or weakness to look back and recognize your own strength and courage and realize all you've overcome and achieved!! <BR> <BR>... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 12:03:32 EST 06/03/2015 this is scary to go thru...even scarier to talk about http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5939062 i know some of you visit my page & blog to get some insight and ideas and reassurance you're not alone in your own struggles with health .. whether that be nutrition, weight loss, medication, diagnoses, dealing doctors, maintaining relationships... <BR> <BR> i'm not really sure it's safe for me to share the true raw details of what happened with me yesterday. i certainly don't know what caused it or how to prevent it from ever happening again. i know quite a few people who will be scared wit... Wed, 3 Jun 2015 12:22:19 EST 05/19/2015 DUH! finally illuminated a light bulb http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5930954 for as much as I think & expound upon ideas & use logic i have these super DUH moments that you would think would be super obvious .. here's the latest one <BR> <BR> all morning I've tried to feel guilty/bad for drinking wine & eating some junk food last night. I don't want to share the specifics of the situation.. just know it was a super emotional upheaval/anxious/worried and more for myself and a couple other people I'm really close with. so we and walked to the store and got a bottle of ... Tue, 19 May 2015 18:40:29 EST 05/17/2015 mindful eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5929796 one of the groups i'm in recently had someone start a topic about mindful eating and asked for tips and tricks on how to do so... this was my quick response .. i'm sure there are a bunch more ideas floating around .. what's yours? <BR> <BR> through DBT a lot of success comes from being in the moment .. realizing what you are doing NOW .. not worrying about the future or struggling with past issues <BR> <BR> the same would be true for eating <BR> <BR> try a new recipe * measure everything... Sun, 17 May 2015 20:20:02 EST 05/15/2015 upside down day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928864 today was an upside down day. meaning i had a easy day and lots of other people had some misery and probably couldn't explain why. i only get these precious no hurt / everything seems to go right for me days like once a year. if i'm lucky. <BR> <BR> this probably isn't even all the good things that happened .. but definitely more than a couple <BR> <BR> i pooped EASILY yesterday AND this morning! <BR> <BR> i woke up not quite refreshed but had mild dreams. <BR> <BR> EASILY got up with no ... Fri, 15 May 2015 22:36:23 EST 05/14/2015 it's the little things http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928364 so the past couple of days i've been in a LOT of fibro fog and crippling pain. how a lot of people who work out tend to dread "Leg Day" and can't move very well afterwards. I wake up like that EVERY day regardless of what I did or didn't do the day before. Yes there's some burning in my shoulders and back from hanging up a new shower curtain. But it's the hot burning ache in my entire body that is the worst. <BR> <BR> you know the hot coals that people walk over barefoot? they aren't on fire... Fri, 15 May 2015 00:04:38 EST 05/09/2015 relationships http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5925132 I've had a lot of stability and great role models in my life. My mom's parents were married for over 50 years. My parents have been married 48 years. One of mom's sister's has been married for 41 years. I don't know much info about her other siblings because they don't come around much. same goes for dad's siblings. and i'm bad with historical info like names, ages, birthdays, anniversaries, locations, family tree, etc <BR> <BR> Even my all-time favorite band's front man and his wife are cel... Sat, 9 May 2015 01:48:47 EST 05/06/2015 the pain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923540 my FB status 5a: Can't fall asleep, can't stay asleep, everything hurts except my thoughts at least so far.. I cannot maintain this <BR> <BR> friend L: i had a death plague for a week myself...finally getting over it. <BR> <BR> me: I'd almost welcome that bc then there be an identifiable cause and solution. As is my symptoms are many and excruciating and little to no solution. So I lay here alternating freezing and boiling which really just indicates my blood pressure is all over the place ... Wed, 6 May 2015 08:25:35 EST 05/05/2015 emotions are healthy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923079 Some of my friends and loved ones are going through serious and trying times. <BR> <BR> I tell them for each of their circumstances <BR> <BR> numb is terribly normal. scared is normal. excited is normal. uncertain future is normal. <BR> <BR> EMOTIONS ARE NORMAL <BR> <BR> EMOTIONS ARE HEALTHY <BR> <BR> emotions are not to be ignored or trivialized <BR> <BR> it's what we do with the emotions that is important <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l219061466.jpg"> <... Tue, 5 May 2015 12:50:10 EST 05/03/2015 Spring Forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5921846 i enjoy sharing my experiences. It helps me to help others. The best compliment I love hearing is that I inspired someone; that they understand what I'm saying or going through. <BR> <BR> yesterday was a scary mix of friendship, organization, letting go of the past, looking forward to the future <BR> <BR> i say scary because it wasn't without plenty of mishaps and accidents which is the focus of this blog. <BR> <BR> * i hit my forehead on a kitchen cabinet <BR> * i kicked a microwave on th... Sun, 3 May 2015 14:47:22 EST 05/02/2015 appreciation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5921533 I am taking the time to stop and fully appreciate how blessed I am right now. <BR> <BR> I've always known that on occasion I crave social interaction, but ultimately I need a few close friends. And I haven't had that level of relationship in over 20 years. I basically grew up kind of isolated because my sister is 8 years older than me, we lived in the country where nearest neighbors were over a mile away, my place was the hangout/pizza/movie spot, etc... <BR> <BR> But then we all scattered ... Sat, 2 May 2015 22:35:42 EST 04/23/2015 re/starting out? start small? just start! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5916709 try out different things to figure out what works for you <BR> <BR> a lot of people go super gung-ho in the beginning and try to do/change WAY TOO MUCH all at once ...you're better off ADDING a new food or ADDING a new step to your current routine that you can fit in daily or hourly <BR> <BR> i don't just mean add a new food ... i mean add a trip around the block when you park the car before heading in... or add a walk to the nearest park/store and back .. or add a flight of stairs at wor... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 00:56:48 EST 04/13/2015 refocus on the positive http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5910704 in DBT a theme we keep going is to purposefully notice the positives throughout the day <BR> <BR> .. without darkness there would exist no light <BR> <BR> .. without rain there would be no rainbows <BR> <BR> .. without down there isn't up <BR> <BR> .. without sad how would you know you're happy <BR> <BR> .. without black would you recognize white <BR> <BR> .. without absence do you appreciate inclusion <BR> <BR> .. heartache means there was once love <BR> <BR> .. you are not alone if ... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 17:45:28 EST 04/12/2015 color update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5909846 not totally done yet but apparently blond hair + teal dye = royal blue on me (weird) <BR> <BR> a quick color lesson in case you forgot you once played with paint or a ziploc bag ... yes Yellow & Blue make Green .. but usually goes IN THAT ORDER <BR> <BR> *hehe* KIMBERLY ODDS <BR> <BR> -- <BR> there's been SOOO MUCH going on and eventually i'll try to update. but right now i feel motivated and somewhat mostly functional so i need to get to unpacking while i can <BR> <BR> * people not wanti... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 10:11:15 EST 04/09/2015 when did i get old? or am I? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5908471 it's been a weird day .. a weird week/end <BR> <BR> definitely being reminded of my mortality .. but not from death <BR> <BR> so my parents today have been married 48 years. happily. for better and worse for sure. it's been a crazy ride. i never thought i'd ever have a relationship like theirs. never figured i'd want one or that one would be possible in this modern age. in some ways chris and i are stronger bc we've been through some crap and know how to love and cherish one another (yes, g... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 19:38:46 EST 04/04/2015 world's best? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5905116 i'm beginning to think i'm the world's best procrastin ... i'm thirsty need a beverage . .pet the cat .. check email ..get a soda ... wasn't i packing something? oh yea that's it .. procrastinating Sat, 4 Apr 2015 03:06:41 EST 04/02/2015 why can't i do things the easy way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5904319 i hope your morning going better than mine. <BR> <BR> as briefly mentioned here and there, I've been immobile with strained back/neck/shoulder since Mon night .. it'd been tender and sore for over a week but i pulled something when i got out of bed Mon. <BR> <BR> I was almost feeling better. like almost being able to physically function to pack up the apartment. we're starting the move this weekend & i dont really have anything packed. i moved a few things around and was peckish so i ate tw... Thu, 2 Apr 2015 16:18:13 EST 03/26/2015 weighty 'ships http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5900126 i actually looked over the Weight Over Time report and noticed that i was on a steady decline of weight .. well below my goal line ... until i found my soul mate then a definitely noticeable increase and venture above the goal line <BR> <BR> well .. i have to find humor in everything so i blame being comfortable and appreciated as I am no matter the weight <BR> <BR> LOL <BR> <BR> of course no i don't blame anyone or anything. it is most certainly a heavy-handed combination of stress, medic... Thu, 26 Mar 2015 14:21:02 EST 03/22/2015 emotional http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897801 it's so hard to admit that i feel weirdly guilty for being happy <BR> <BR> i never thought i'd meet someone .. never thought i'd be happy .. never thought i deserved to be happy .. never comfortable being happy <BR> <BR> b/c it usually is fleeting <BR> <BR> like a cruel twist of fate .. a sick joke .. a fragile mirage <BR> <BR> i'm trying too much .. but yet not enough ... i need to take better care of myself: mentally, physically, emotionally, financially <BR> <BR> i'm actually reconnec... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 22:24:16 EST 03/22/2015 if i didn't know better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897675 if i didn't know better I'd say I got really drunk last night ... this isn't the first time I've felt like this <BR> <BR> exhausted ... fuzzy brained ... headache ... can't stay awake ... stiff .. sore ... discovering i said things, had conversations, made plans all while not really remembering I did any of it ... feeling like i behaved wildly and need to ask what I did or said ... and laugh at whatever shenanigans i got into <BR> <BR> a lot of that was commonplace after a night of drinkin... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 18:37:09 EST 03/21/2015 deep thoughts today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896861 Been in the grip of sugar sweet tooth. Its out of control. <BR> <BR> Instead of regular green Monster Energy I switched to the purple can which is 0 sugar 0 calories so I can feel less guilty about drinking it. But then I ask ... why keep drinking it if I have any guilt at all. <BR> <BR> Many of us don't like to take pictures of our fat looking selves ... well I think I'm going to look at my old pics .. the few there are ... so I can remind myself .. and amp up motivation to want to not be... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 07:36:39 EST 03/14/2015 simply irrational (I need to enjoy some &#960;) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5892903 I've been making all these awful puns and quips over on Facebook that it carried over to here. LOL. check 'em out <link>http://www.facebook/com/kimberly0916 </link> <BR> <BR> as hours tick away today b/c of the crappy weather and my inability to focus and self-discovery distractions ... i can't even say instead of focusing on the things i need to get done ... i am .. i'm just doing too much and too easily allowing myself to be distracted .. including writing this blog. <BR> <BR> BUT some ... Sat, 14 Mar 2015 15:56:00 EST 02/25/2015 well whaddya know ... miracles can happen http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882574 so normally I'd laugh hysterically at anyone who got a call that goes something like .. verify your current contact info, verify approx amount student loans .. yes you may qualify, give us soc sec num and we'll look up info .. yes you qualify and could potentially save thousands or more... just pay us $166 for 3 months then it'll be whatever per month you qualify for, and at the end of 10 years balance is forgive... uhm... yeah right <BR> <BR> but what I left out is that information got ente... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 15:17:51 EST 02/22/2015 yes yes yes (could be more positive though) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5880714 hi all. snow snow and more snow but there was sunshine today .. for a little while anyways ... which will probably mean flooding and mud and muck ... woohoo (ok not really exciting but you would think it as much attention everyone gives to something that regularly happens EVERY YEAR) <BR> <BR> I am trying to not over analyze my physical and mental and financial issues <BR> ... yes I've been more sedentary than I like <BR> ... yes my food choices could be even healthier <BR> ... yes I cou... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 19:26:28 EST 02/22/2015 merely scratched the surface http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5880637 And I'll never get back that hour or so spent winding down the rabbit hole ... that started so innocently <BR> <BR> I was looking up a definition for S.T.G. which led me to Urban dictionary and Wikipedia <BR> ... and several different meanings (some hilarious others mean: stupid teenage girl, sexually transmitted Glitter / Guilt, spot the gay, Star Trek Generations, smash the granny) <BR> <BR> ... in this instance it meant Security Threat Group <BR> ... that linked to a Wiki of prison gan... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 16:49:55 EST 02/20/2015 MOVE closer to YOUR dreams and goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879682 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1171789613.jpg"> <BR> <BR> as i'm sitting here working on a debt payoff plan I saw an incoming email about going back to school online. i thought hey, yeah, i HAVE been a little more stable lately so perhaps that really IS something i could do in the near future. and pick a major that excites me and not one just bc i'm great at it. <BR> <BR> and wouldn't ya know it .. BEFORE I even finished the positive thought i was already chiming in wit... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:11:07 EST 02/20/2015 it happened ... frozen over http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879342 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1119526063.jpg"> <BR> <BR> everyone is familiar with the phrase <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/2/l221255514.jpg"> add Ohio to the list of H-LL on Earth <BR> <BR> you suppose we should keep an eye on the skies to spot flying pigs? <BR> <BR> i didn't sleep well and didn't want to leave the warm bed (that wasn't nearly as comfy as I'd like) but alas I can't stand lying around in bed (LOL yes accidental pun but it fits!) <BR... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 11:11:48 EST 02/18/2015 worry is a misuse of imagination http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5878200 i am noticing a lot of people, myself included, lately worrying ... about the weather, finances, food, loved ones <BR> <BR> so i am taking this moment to breathe. to pay attention to my mind and body. to not push myself too hard but still continue to push <BR> <BR> whether the pain is physical or emotional .. it's temporary <BR> <BR> we are all familiar with Carpe diem! (seize the day) but how about Carpe modo! (seize the NOW) <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/... Wed, 18 Feb 2015 14:55:13 EST 02/17/2015 celebrate ... you deserve it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5877677 every little step is part of larger journey <BR> <BR> ... a lot of things may be out of your control so focus on things you CAN control <BR> <BR> TODAY I CHOOSE HAPPINESS <BR> <BR> ENGAGE your senses all the time as NOW is the only time we have <BR> <BR> * park far away from the entry door <BR> * make multiple trips to carry items (i.e. groceries, laundry, food prep) <BR> * take the stairs <BR> * walk around the house or the block <BR> <BR> * play (with pets, children, games) <BR> * jum... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:44:14 EST 02/01/2015 Super Bowl? more like super mindless eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5867155 so on this day of sports celebration .. or commercials .. or half time .. or extended coffee break .. whatever floats ones proverbial boat <BR> <BR> a lot of us mindlessly eat <BR> <BR> and while yes I consider this Super game day to be a terrific excuse to eat some unhealthier foods and relax restrictions <BR> <BR> i just inadvertently ate an entire box of Triscuits while binge-watching The Blacklist <BR> <BR> so yes not only have I been sedentary watching show after show with no commerc... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 12:57:27 EST 01/28/2015 went crazy and found my soulmate http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5866296 ... so uhm ... life is full of curve balls and unexpected chances ... at 2p Chris and I were married in a brief ceremony in my apartment with my mom and one of Chris' neighbors/friends .. who happens to be the current wife of someone I went to high school with (indeed a small world). <BR> <BR> 1 love joined 2 crazy punks for infinity on 1/28/2015 and now we would like to share the moment with our friends and family. <BR> <BR> I'm sitting here watching Say Yes to the Dress and realizing that... Sat, 31 Jan 2015 02:15:13 EST 01/20/2015 zodiac summary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859007 i felt like looking up my zodiac summary .. it's pretty accurate for when i'm healthy <BR> <BR> more reasons i feel things are just a reaction (see prior blog) <BR> <BR> <link>http://www.astrology.com.au/astrolog<BR>y/12-signs-of-the-zodiac/virgo.html </link> <BR> <BR> some excerpts: <BR> <BR> You belong to a group of people known for their perfectionism and highly analytical minds. There's a bit of a joke about how precise and demanding Virgos are but when you think about it, what's w... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 20:24:20 EST 01/19/2015 "the treatment becomes a curse" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5858103 I was browsing Facebook as part of my just-got-up routine. and one of my friends had liked this article. the caption about feeling normal for the first time caught my eye <BR> <BR> <link>http://www.vice.com/en_us/read/i-use<BR>d-ketamine-to-treat-my-depression-122?<BR>utm_source=vicefbus </link> <BR> <BR> this is quite likely the truest thing (for me) I have ever read: "The treatment becomes a curse." ... a recent psych eval doc heard my way-too-long list of medications tried and agreed t... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 17:17:46 EST 01/18/2015 go after what you want http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5857271 i'm still sorting out my brain fog and confusion. I get so easily distracted and disoriented .. I lose track of what I'm saying or doing WHILE I'm saying or doing it... very frustrating <BR> <BR> it's days like this i have to remember it's temporary ... and I don't have to stay this way ... i can make choices to get different results <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1258910377.jpg"> Sun, 18 Jan 2015 16:43:51 EST 01/17/2015 change perspective http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856461 the other day in counseling I heard myself being incredibly negative. yes i was detoxing from the Cymbalta and was a wild and crazy set of emotions ... but I didn't like myself. I don't like not being in control of my emotions or life. <BR> <BR> To everything I was commenting I can't do this ... there's a limit to that .. .i can't afford such and such <BR> <BR> it made me sick <BR> <BR> i have always prided myself on being an optimist and a realist. Yes those two really can go together. If... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 13:22:46 EST 01/16/2015 don't give up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5855867 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l144378461.jpg"> <BR> <BR> even if that someone is yourself .. or some version of yourself <BR> <BR> fight <BR> <BR> get stronger <BR> <BR> you are stronger than you realize <BR> <BR> fight <BR> <BR> don't give up <BR> <BR> don't give anyone OR anything the power to take away your choice .. your life <BR> <BR> you choose how to live your life <BR> <BR> do what is best for you Fri, 16 Jan 2015 15:00:48 EST 01/16/2015 aftermath and news http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5855847 so after yesterday's self induced mania b/c i was sick of being sick <BR> <BR> i am pretty sore and sickly today but I'm trying to stretch and just keep going <BR> <BR> i don't know that I'd call it sleep but I was in bed for 7 hours with crazy dreams. <BR> <BR> i still need to finish putting away misc stuff in my room (i.e. hair and makeup stuff and clothes) <BR> <BR> I got good news that JFS is reinstating my disability assistance ... but at the moment they don't know where electronical... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 14:21:12 EST 01/15/2015 I don't want to be in this moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5855095 So often I'm taught to be in the moment. . Focus on now. . A lot of the pain are just thoughts. .. don't dwell on the past. . Don't worry about the future .. etc <BR> <BR> Well right now I want a different moment <BR> <BR> I slept uncomfortably <BR> I had annoying dreams <BR> I'm not rested <BR> I woke up irritated <BR> I am in a ton of pain <BR> I'm stiff and sore <BR> I have a headache <BR> I'm still sick <BR> My mood is all over the place <BR> I am ready to cry <BR> I am ready to b-tech ... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 13:53:01 EST 01/13/2015 wow the dreams are back .. sigh (and medical update)(YAY) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5853598 here's an update .. <BR> <BR> sickness/flu crap almost gone (YAY) ... sat night was the worst!! i couldn't breathe and my irritability definitely took over .. i've gotten some sleep last night and the night before but very dream packed (which i'll get to in a min) <BR> <BR> last week doc said to start up the 60mg Cymbalta again so I did. but was having confusion, dizzy, hives, etc ... so middle of last week dropped down to 30mg ... got the flu thing Wed night and treatment for it Thur .. b... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 14:45:24 EST 01/05/2015 keep a spark going ... uh ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5846945 so in one of my groups someone told me .. Kimberly...thank you for being such an amazing example of truth & honesty & transparency. Some of us can be all of those things to a point & some people for various reasons can not. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. You inspire me!!! <BR> <BR> I replied: thanks :-) <BR> <BR> so many times I get told I'm making stuff up and really i'm just being honest ... mostly I minimize stuff so when I'm sounding the most wild or fanatical is when I'm most... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 19:17:23 EST 01/04/2015 how much of my life is just a reaction? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845793 I often wonder how much of my life is just a reaction <BR> <BR> a reaction to : <BR> month of conception <BR> month of birth <BR> gender <BR> left-handed versus right-handed <BR> height <BR> weight <BR> hair color <BR> eye color <BR> heredity <BR> family <BR> environment <BR> geography <BR> money <BR> food <BR> medical <BR> <BR> .. and that's all before I'm aware of my choices and freedoms of life <BR> <BR> so then you start to get into things like <BR> <BR> education <BR> athleticism <... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 16:20:42 EST 01/03/2015 hair and weight update 1 year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845008 it's kind of painful for me to reflect back on last year. The second half of December 2013 was emotionally heavy and had a drastic impact on my health... i don't want to recount that right now. <BR> <BR> Instead ... here are the comparison pics of my hair I started "training" in Dec 2013 and first shaved the sides in January 2014. oh and i decided to not do the liberty hawk (into points like the Statue of Liberty) bc it's easier and a lot of people do it ... go big or go home sometimes works... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 18:45:38 EST 01/02/2015 fatigued? headache? pain? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5843802 10 Signs of an Under-Active Thyroid: <BR> <BR> 1. Fatigue after sleeping 8 to 10 hours a night or needing to take a nap daily. <BR> <BR> 2. Weight gain or the inability to lose weight. <BR> <BR> 3. Mood issues such as mood swings, anxiety or depression. <BR> <BR> 4. Hormone imbalances such as PMS, irregular periods, infertility and low sex drive. <BR> <BR> 5. Muscle pain, joint pain, carpal tunnel syndrome, or tendonitis. <BR> <BR> 6. Cold hands and feet, feeling cold when others are no... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 11:33:02 EST