KIMBERLY0916's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=KIMBERLY0916 KIMBERLY0916's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 04/10/2016 major medical update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6139107 life update .. of course tons more details i'm leaving out <BR> <BR> not even sure where to begin so i'll just dive in <BR> <BR> * my entire medical team got disbanded for various reasons in the span of 2 hours in Feb. That sort of thing would previously have sent me reeling. but this time it seemed ok. natural. needed. <BR> <BR> * i got started up with a new company in my town so no more out of town appointments. <BR> * new caseworker and new counselor and new psych nurse who all are supe... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 12:22:16 EST 01/20/2016 my gratitude attitude http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6074190 ... instead of complaining about the bitter cold temps ... <BR> <BR> .. i am grateful I have been able to walk more <BR> .. that I can play around with Max (adorable 1 year old shih tzu) <BR> .. that i can actually appreciate Max' exuberance and excitement for the snow <BR> .. that i have really noticed the bright twinkling stars <BR> .. I've seen more constellations this week (yes even in the city) than i have for years <BR> .. i find beauty and calm in the quiet 2am doggy walks <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 20 Jan 2016 00:57:38 EST 01/17/2016 all kinds of health crap keeping me guessing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6072269 As if I don't have all these symptoms all the damn time anyways... Here's one option for all the crap that seems to have gotten worse recently. <BR> <BR> I thought the body odor thing was bc I got the wrong deodorant at time bc of a sale. <BR> <BR> Thought the fingernails thing was bc I'd worn nail polish and not properly removed it. <BR> <BR> thought the hair loss (eyebrows and eyelashes) was bc of pain meds and back injections. <BR> <BR> figured the sweating and fatigue was partially du... Sun, 17 Jan 2016 23:44:28 EST 01/01/2016 worst thing ever http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6058538 Some offer advice about the hardest thing to do is this or that I now know the most impossible thing I've ever dealt with is watching, living, experiencing someone destroy everything you've worked so tirelessly to build, gain, grow, succeed, and enjoy. Sun, 3 Jan 2016 00:23:03 EST 12/18/2015 I miss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6049460 There's so many things I miss doing... Thinking things are pretty, liking my hair, feeling comfortable in my own skin, relaxing in my own home, taking pictures, thinking creatively, not fighting, bowling, listening to music, watching TV has how's, keeping up with paperwork, being organized, time with my cat, enjoying life, not being miserable, being a friend, being hopeful Too much if it has been ripped apart by too many things and I can't seem to figure out how to eliminate things driving m... Fri, 18 Dec 2015 17:08:28 EST 12/14/2015 i'm tired of being broken http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6047132 i am sick of feeling sick. sick of being fatigued, of crazy sweating, of intense pain, of disgusting sweating, of confusion, of dizziness, of feeling dead inside, of crying all the time, of being uncaring, <BR> <BR> i don't even know what i enjoy or love right now. <BR> <BR> i'm broken in so many ways and there's no cure. i can only hope to build courage and strength within myself to keep trying.to keep trying to find something that helps me <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeopl... Mon, 14 Dec 2015 01:33:20 EST 11/30/2015 others see in me what i thought I lost http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6039995 just yesterday i was admiring some photos a friend of mine had taken while working as a cruise ship photographer a couple of years ago. at some point I would not have picked it for myself because it would seem too risky. but these days i do actually feel some regret for never having pursued travel or photography all those years ago. <BR> <BR> and so i ask myself why? where did it get me? a computer science degree specialized in database systems sounds fancy (and it is), however, at the cost ... Mon, 30 Nov 2015 11:12:23 EST 11/29/2015 i slipped and no one laughed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6039497 so i can't really believe that the beginning of December is just a couple of days away. i don't just mean the usual "daylight savings time" screwed with me. and i don't even mean the weather is way warmer than usual. I am DEFINITELY NOT complaining about that by any means!! i was one of those who loved the balmy temps in Cali instead of "change of seasons" and bitter cold! <BR> <BR> i think i don't want to recognize so much has happened in this past year. last year over Thanksgiving I was co... Sun, 29 Nov 2015 13:22:30 EST 11/16/2015 progress progress progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6033067 it's been an amazing week! <BR> <BR> chris and i are getting along really well. it isn't all rainbows and cherries but we are definitely actively making headway with refraining from saying or doing stuff that triggers the other. We are trying to talk more and do more activities and chill stuff together. <BR> <BR> sat night we went to an early holiday dinner with a group of friends he knows that are closer than family. they're definitely redefining what family and holidays mean for me. there... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 11:51:07 EST 11/11/2015 effort yields reward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6030664 The past 30+ hours have been great. Situations and topics and actions that previously would have ripped us to unrecognizable shreds were handled mildly, gently, calmly, quickly, and with genuine appropriate apologies where necessary. We have laughed, smiled, shared, connected, tried new things, revisited old things, spent every minute together or talking. Earlier today I gently asked what he thought the difference had been. He had noticed it as well. I forget his exact words but he remarke... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 22:21:43 EST 11/10/2015 i miss my light http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6029847 I miss being an inspiration to others. I miss being an inspiration to myself. For various reasons my motivation, my inspiration, my conviction, my determination and more have all been diminished this year; close to extinguished. If I'd ever treated myself like he's treated me I'd have left me a long time ago. I am disgusted with myself for beginning to treat him how he treats me. I have noted many times that if we were merely dating then I wouldn't have stayed and continued to try to work thi... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 12:04:48 EST 09/19/2015 do a self-check ... it could save your life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6000314 whether you've started a new med or taken one away ... or heck even been on the same dosage for awhile ... do a self-check .. it could save your life!!! <BR> <BR> ask these questions TO yourself <BR> ... & TO someone who lives/familiar with you <BR> ... & TO someone you see often but not all the time <BR> <BR> How do I feel? How do I seem? Am I presenting myself as I would prefer? Do I like me? <BR> <BR> Have I been eating different? for the better or worse? <BR> Have I been exercising?... Sat, 19 Sep 2015 14:36:27 EST 09/15/2015 let go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5997880 i really wish i had time and mental energy to write about my recent experiences... with marriage, health, medications, dreams, nightmares, etc <BR> <BR> i am definitely feeling overwhelmed and need to learn to let go <BR> <BR> let go of <BR> ... doing everything for everyone <BR> ... doing everything i used to do <BR> ... not recognizing positive things each day <BR> ... not recognizing how much I enrich people's lives <BR> ... feeling stressed <BR> ... worrying about laundry or vacumming <... Tue, 15 Sep 2015 11:19:26 EST 08/26/2015 photos + creativity + connection + community http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985114 in August 2013 I was accepted into the Athens Photographic Project after having to wait a few years to get in. I was THRILLED. Then out of nowhere I got accepted to resume my digital design degree at The Art Institute in Cincinnati and had to withdraw from APP. I was BUMMED. yes, really. LOL. <BR> <BR> Well yesterday I happily went to the first session of APP for this 2015-2016 year. I'm beyond giddy about it. And from the looks of random photos some of my class members have already taken an... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 11:29:43 EST 08/23/2015 better living through chemistry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983253 Oh the irony... A long time ago we used to be friends... Oops I did it again... Hahah just kidding; I got lots of song lyrics rolling.. down the river.. Through my head. Anyways, I've previously written about how I tried living through chemistry.. Whether it was prescription meds, recreational drugs, alcohol, body chemistry, etc.. And awhile back I had to try something different... More natural. So it's hilariously ironic that I now have to put those chemistry skills to use in figuring o... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 15:24:18 EST 08/22/2015 OCD & Anxiety (and I add in ADD) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982625 Here's some great insight!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> Except for some of the steps counting.. Add in clean off the counter because germs and throw aWay the banana peel because bugs... Take away the smoking.. And add oh crap the door is open, the air feels nice, ahhh breathe I can be calm, focus on calm, was that a bug, damm!t that was a bug, I need to shut the door and go find the bug before it lays eggs, pooh eggs, did I eat breakfast, eggs sound good, eggs, eggs, bugs lay eggs, OH sh!t gotta find t... Sat, 22 Aug 2015 12:04:58 EST 07/21/2015 be kind to yourself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964228 so after a super stressful and emotional (both good and bad) weekend & reception & life, I was really NOT looking forward to going to group yesterday and potentially hear BS excuses about why people didn't come to the reception Sat night. Well, I knew I'd have to face reality sooner or later. And I certainly didn't want to sit at home and look at all the stuff that needs cleaned, needs hung up, needs put away, needs returned, etc... <BR> <BR> well Kimberly Odds strikes again! Of all the DBT ... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 08:55:52 EST 07/07/2015 seems obvious now...this could be a REAL breakthrough!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5956842 there are many updates with me lately that I haven't been able to write up but i wanted to share a really important one <BR> <BR> i still have quite a bit of research to do and i'll talk with my doctor on Friday about all this. <BR> <BR> a close friend of mine just had surgery to help her with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and she's noticed a lot of similar symptoms in me. She has suggested I get some things checked out and so I will mention this to the doc. <BR> <BR> However, the bigge... Tue, 7 Jul 2015 09:40:10 EST 07/02/2015 i need a me .. a healthy me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5954540 i need a me to take over filing, scheduling, paperwork, follow-ups, phone calls, making sure laundry is done, trash is taken out, dishes washed, everyone is fed, etc... <BR> <BR> I haven't been able to lately and it's killing me to be so dysfunctional and unhealthy. I'm trying to remind myself that being unhealthy and sick is the very reason I am dysfunctional and unable to take care of even basic needs. Thu, 2 Jul 2015 17:23:03 EST 06/21/2015 a year in perspective ... measure in love http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5948711 in no particular order, here are some tidbits I've been thinking about and some I've shared on Facebook (pics at the end) <BR> <BR> <link>http://mashable.com/2015/06/09/60-ye<BR>ar-old-uptown-funk </link> <BR> GOALS .. it's good to have them!!! .. now if only I could get out of bed (sad reality of possible kidney infection) .. but really I can't even get through a whole zumba routine ..but this looks like FUN <BR> <BR> I love this punk ‪#‎SLCPunk‬ ‪#‎PunksDead‬ — feeling lov... Sun, 21 Jun 2015 15:20:52 EST 06/16/2015 recognize the moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5946091 so many things to update y'all on but i'll try to keep this brief (i know i tell myself encouraging (cough lies cough) all the time bc it helps) <BR> <BR> someone i know posted a goofy mirror selfie on FB (her caption on pic: Oh em gawd mirror thelfie what of it) .. my reply to her post: <BR> <BR> it's good to document progress and (especially) in times of rejoicing or weakness to look back and recognize your own strength and courage and realize all you've overcome and achieved!! <BR> <BR>... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 12:03:32 EST 06/03/2015 this is scary to go thru...even scarier to talk about http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5939062 i know some of you visit my page & blog to get some insight and ideas and reassurance you're not alone in your own struggles with health .. whether that be nutrition, weight loss, medication, diagnoses, dealing doctors, maintaining relationships... <BR> <BR> i'm not really sure it's safe for me to share the true raw details of what happened with me yesterday. i certainly don't know what caused it or how to prevent it from ever happening again. i know quite a few people who will be scared wit... Wed, 3 Jun 2015 12:22:19 EST 05/19/2015 DUH! finally illuminated a light bulb http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5930954 for as much as I think & expound upon ideas & use logic i have these super DUH moments that you would think would be super obvious .. here's the latest one <BR> <BR> all morning I've tried to feel guilty/bad for drinking wine & eating some junk food last night. I don't want to share the specifics of the situation.. just know it was a super emotional upheaval/anxious/worried and more for myself and a couple other people I'm really close with. so we and walked to the store and got a bottle of ... Tue, 19 May 2015 18:40:29 EST 05/17/2015 mindful eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5929796 one of the groups i'm in recently had someone start a topic about mindful eating and asked for tips and tricks on how to do so... this was my quick response .. i'm sure there are a bunch more ideas floating around .. what's yours? <BR> <BR> through DBT a lot of success comes from being in the moment .. realizing what you are doing NOW .. not worrying about the future or struggling with past issues <BR> <BR> the same would be true for eating <BR> <BR> try a new recipe * measure everything... Sun, 17 May 2015 20:20:02 EST 05/15/2015 upside down day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928864 today was an upside down day. meaning i had a easy day and lots of other people had some misery and probably couldn't explain why. i only get these precious no hurt / everything seems to go right for me days like once a year. if i'm lucky. <BR> <BR> this probably isn't even all the good things that happened .. but definitely more than a couple <BR> <BR> i pooped EASILY yesterday AND this morning! <BR> <BR> i woke up not quite refreshed but had mild dreams. <BR> <BR> EASILY got up with no ... Fri, 15 May 2015 22:36:23 EST 05/14/2015 it's the little things http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928364 so the past couple of days i've been in a LOT of fibro fog and crippling pain. how a lot of people who work out tend to dread "Leg Day" and can't move very well afterwards. I wake up like that EVERY day regardless of what I did or didn't do the day before. Yes there's some burning in my shoulders and back from hanging up a new shower curtain. But it's the hot burning ache in my entire body that is the worst. <BR> <BR> you know the hot coals that people walk over barefoot? they aren't on fire... Fri, 15 May 2015 00:04:38 EST 05/09/2015 relationships http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5925132 I've had a lot of stability and great role models in my life. My mom's parents were married for over 50 years. My parents have been married 48 years. One of mom's sister's has been married for 41 years. I don't know much info about her other siblings because they don't come around much. same goes for dad's siblings. and i'm bad with historical info like names, ages, birthdays, anniversaries, locations, family tree, etc <BR> <BR> Even my all-time favorite band's front man and his wife are cel... Sat, 9 May 2015 01:48:47 EST 05/06/2015 the pain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923540 my FB status 5a: Can't fall asleep, can't stay asleep, everything hurts except my thoughts at least so far.. I cannot maintain this <BR> <BR> friend L: i had a death plague for a week myself...finally getting over it. <BR> <BR> me: I'd almost welcome that bc then there be an identifiable cause and solution. As is my symptoms are many and excruciating and little to no solution. So I lay here alternating freezing and boiling which really just indicates my blood pressure is all over the place ... Wed, 6 May 2015 08:25:35 EST 05/05/2015 emotions are healthy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923079 Some of my friends and loved ones are going through serious and trying times. <BR> <BR> I tell them for each of their circumstances <BR> <BR> numb is terribly normal. scared is normal. excited is normal. uncertain future is normal. <BR> <BR> EMOTIONS ARE NORMAL <BR> <BR> EMOTIONS ARE HEALTHY <BR> <BR> emotions are not to be ignored or trivialized <BR> <BR> it's what we do with the emotions that is important <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l219061466.jpg"> <... Tue, 5 May 2015 12:50:10 EST 05/03/2015 Spring Forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5921846 i enjoy sharing my experiences. It helps me to help others. The best compliment I love hearing is that I inspired someone; that they understand what I'm saying or going through. <BR> <BR> yesterday was a scary mix of friendship, organization, letting go of the past, looking forward to the future <BR> <BR> i say scary because it wasn't without plenty of mishaps and accidents which is the focus of this blog. <BR> <BR> * i hit my forehead on a kitchen cabinet <BR> * i kicked a microwave on th... Sun, 3 May 2015 14:47:22 EST 05/02/2015 appreciation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5921533 I am taking the time to stop and fully appreciate how blessed I am right now. <BR> <BR> I've always known that on occasion I crave social interaction, but ultimately I need a few close friends. And I haven't had that level of relationship in over 20 years. I basically grew up kind of isolated because my sister is 8 years older than me, we lived in the country where nearest neighbors were over a mile away, my place was the hangout/pizza/movie spot, etc... <BR> <BR> But then we all scattered ... Sat, 2 May 2015 22:35:42 EST 04/23/2015 re/starting out? start small? just start! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5916709 try out different things to figure out what works for you <BR> <BR> a lot of people go super gung-ho in the beginning and try to do/change WAY TOO MUCH all at once ...you're better off ADDING a new food or ADDING a new step to your current routine that you can fit in daily or hourly <BR> <BR> i don't just mean add a new food ... i mean add a trip around the block when you park the car before heading in... or add a walk to the nearest park/store and back .. or add a flight of stairs at wor... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 00:56:48 EST 04/13/2015 refocus on the positive http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5910704 in DBT a theme we keep going is to purposefully notice the positives throughout the day <BR> <BR> .. without darkness there would exist no light <BR> <BR> .. without rain there would be no rainbows <BR> <BR> .. without down there isn't up <BR> <BR> .. without sad how would you know you're happy <BR> <BR> .. without black would you recognize white <BR> <BR> .. without absence do you appreciate inclusion <BR> <BR> .. heartache means there was once love <BR> <BR> .. you are not alone if ... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 17:45:28 EST 04/12/2015 color update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5909846 not totally done yet but apparently blond hair + teal dye = royal blue on me (weird) <BR> <BR> a quick color lesson in case you forgot you once played with paint or a ziploc bag ... yes Yellow & Blue make Green .. but usually goes IN THAT ORDER <BR> <BR> *hehe* KIMBERLY ODDS <BR> <BR> -- <BR> there's been SOOO MUCH going on and eventually i'll try to update. but right now i feel motivated and somewhat mostly functional so i need to get to unpacking while i can <BR> <BR> * people not wanti... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 10:11:15 EST 04/09/2015 when did i get old? or am I? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5908471 it's been a weird day .. a weird week/end <BR> <BR> definitely being reminded of my mortality .. but not from death <BR> <BR> so my parents today have been married 48 years. happily. for better and worse for sure. it's been a crazy ride. i never thought i'd ever have a relationship like theirs. never figured i'd want one or that one would be possible in this modern age. in some ways chris and i are stronger bc we've been through some crap and know how to love and cherish one another (yes, g... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 19:38:46 EST 04/04/2015 world's best? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5905116 i'm beginning to think i'm the world's best procrastin ... i'm thirsty need a beverage . .pet the cat .. check email ..get a soda ... wasn't i packing something? oh yea that's it .. procrastinating Sat, 4 Apr 2015 03:06:41 EST 04/02/2015 why can't i do things the easy way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5904319 i hope your morning going better than mine. <BR> <BR> as briefly mentioned here and there, I've been immobile with strained back/neck/shoulder since Mon night .. it'd been tender and sore for over a week but i pulled something when i got out of bed Mon. <BR> <BR> I was almost feeling better. like almost being able to physically function to pack up the apartment. we're starting the move this weekend & i dont really have anything packed. i moved a few things around and was peckish so i ate tw... Thu, 2 Apr 2015 16:18:13 EST 03/26/2015 weighty 'ships http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5900126 i actually looked over the Weight Over Time report and noticed that i was on a steady decline of weight .. well below my goal line ... until i found my soul mate then a definitely noticeable increase and venture above the goal line <BR> <BR> well .. i have to find humor in everything so i blame being comfortable and appreciated as I am no matter the weight <BR> <BR> LOL <BR> <BR> of course no i don't blame anyone or anything. it is most certainly a heavy-handed combination of stress, medic... Thu, 26 Mar 2015 14:21:02 EST 03/22/2015 emotional http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897801 it's so hard to admit that i feel weirdly guilty for being happy <BR> <BR> i never thought i'd meet someone .. never thought i'd be happy .. never thought i deserved to be happy .. never comfortable being happy <BR> <BR> b/c it usually is fleeting <BR> <BR> like a cruel twist of fate .. a sick joke .. a fragile mirage <BR> <BR> i'm trying too much .. but yet not enough ... i need to take better care of myself: mentally, physically, emotionally, financially <BR> <BR> i'm actually reconnec... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 22:24:16 EST 03/22/2015 if i didn't know better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897675 if i didn't know better I'd say I got really drunk last night ... this isn't the first time I've felt like this <BR> <BR> exhausted ... fuzzy brained ... headache ... can't stay awake ... stiff .. sore ... discovering i said things, had conversations, made plans all while not really remembering I did any of it ... feeling like i behaved wildly and need to ask what I did or said ... and laugh at whatever shenanigans i got into <BR> <BR> a lot of that was commonplace after a night of drinkin... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 18:37:09 EST 03/21/2015 deep thoughts today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896861 Been in the grip of sugar sweet tooth. Its out of control. <BR> <BR> Instead of regular green Monster Energy I switched to the purple can which is 0 sugar 0 calories so I can feel less guilty about drinking it. But then I ask ... why keep drinking it if I have any guilt at all. <BR> <BR> Many of us don't like to take pictures of our fat looking selves ... well I think I'm going to look at my old pics .. the few there are ... so I can remind myself .. and amp up motivation to want to not be... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 07:36:39 EST 03/14/2015 simply irrational (I need to enjoy some &#960;) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5892903 I've been making all these awful puns and quips over on Facebook that it carried over to here. LOL. check 'em out <link>http://www.facebook/com/kimberly0916 </link> <BR> <BR> as hours tick away today b/c of the crappy weather and my inability to focus and self-discovery distractions ... i can't even say instead of focusing on the things i need to get done ... i am .. i'm just doing too much and too easily allowing myself to be distracted .. including writing this blog. <BR> <BR> BUT some ... Sat, 14 Mar 2015 15:56:00 EST 02/25/2015 well whaddya know ... miracles can happen http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882574 so normally I'd laugh hysterically at anyone who got a call that goes something like .. verify your current contact info, verify approx amount student loans .. yes you may qualify, give us soc sec num and we'll look up info .. yes you qualify and could potentially save thousands or more... just pay us $166 for 3 months then it'll be whatever per month you qualify for, and at the end of 10 years balance is forgive... uhm... yeah right <BR> <BR> but what I left out is that information got ente... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 15:17:51 EST 02/22/2015 yes yes yes (could be more positive though) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5880714 hi all. snow snow and more snow but there was sunshine today .. for a little while anyways ... which will probably mean flooding and mud and muck ... woohoo (ok not really exciting but you would think it as much attention everyone gives to something that regularly happens EVERY YEAR) <BR> <BR> I am trying to not over analyze my physical and mental and financial issues <BR> ... yes I've been more sedentary than I like <BR> ... yes my food choices could be even healthier <BR> ... yes I cou... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 19:26:28 EST 02/22/2015 merely scratched the surface http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5880637 And I'll never get back that hour or so spent winding down the rabbit hole ... that started so innocently <BR> <BR> I was looking up a definition for S.T.G. which led me to Urban dictionary and Wikipedia <BR> ... and several different meanings (some hilarious others mean: stupid teenage girl, sexually transmitted Glitter / Guilt, spot the gay, Star Trek Generations, smash the granny) <BR> <BR> ... in this instance it meant Security Threat Group <BR> ... that linked to a Wiki of prison gan... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 16:49:55 EST 02/20/2015 MOVE closer to YOUR dreams and goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879682 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1171789613.jpg"> <BR> <BR> as i'm sitting here working on a debt payoff plan I saw an incoming email about going back to school online. i thought hey, yeah, i HAVE been a little more stable lately so perhaps that really IS something i could do in the near future. and pick a major that excites me and not one just bc i'm great at it. <BR> <BR> and wouldn't ya know it .. BEFORE I even finished the positive thought i was already chiming in wit... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:11:07 EST 02/20/2015 it happened ... frozen over http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879342 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1119526063.jpg"> <BR> <BR> everyone is familiar with the phrase <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/2/l221255514.jpg"> add Ohio to the list of H-LL on Earth <BR> <BR> you suppose we should keep an eye on the skies to spot flying pigs? <BR> <BR> i didn't sleep well and didn't want to leave the warm bed (that wasn't nearly as comfy as I'd like) but alas I can't stand lying around in bed (LOL yes accidental pun but it fits!) <BR... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 11:11:48 EST 02/18/2015 worry is a misuse of imagination http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5878200 i am noticing a lot of people, myself included, lately worrying ... about the weather, finances, food, loved ones <BR> <BR> so i am taking this moment to breathe. to pay attention to my mind and body. to not push myself too hard but still continue to push <BR> <BR> whether the pain is physical or emotional .. it's temporary <BR> <BR> we are all familiar with Carpe diem! (seize the day) but how about Carpe modo! (seize the NOW) <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/... Wed, 18 Feb 2015 14:55:13 EST 02/17/2015 celebrate ... you deserve it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5877677 every little step is part of larger journey <BR> <BR> ... a lot of things may be out of your control so focus on things you CAN control <BR> <BR> TODAY I CHOOSE HAPPINESS <BR> <BR> ENGAGE your senses all the time as NOW is the only time we have <BR> <BR> * park far away from the entry door <BR> * make multiple trips to carry items (i.e. groceries, laundry, food prep) <BR> * take the stairs <BR> * walk around the house or the block <BR> <BR> * play (with pets, children, games) <BR> * jum... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:44:14 EST 02/01/2015 Super Bowl? more like super mindless eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5867155 so on this day of sports celebration .. or commercials .. or half time .. or extended coffee break .. whatever floats ones proverbial boat <BR> <BR> a lot of us mindlessly eat <BR> <BR> and while yes I consider this Super game day to be a terrific excuse to eat some unhealthier foods and relax restrictions <BR> <BR> i just inadvertently ate an entire box of Triscuits while binge-watching The Blacklist <BR> <BR> so yes not only have I been sedentary watching show after show with no commerc... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 12:57:27 EST