KGWINDER's SparkPeople Blog KGWINDER's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Slightly different ending So I went to the store last night to get fruit and vegetables. The first department is floral. I see the cutest little African violet. Last week my friend, came home after a trip to the hospital to remove spread tumors from her ovarian cancer. They were unable to do the surgery as she was too weak. So she has chosen hospice. She has gone home to rest. The next few days she was flooded with visitor and I stayed away as I remember right after having a baby tons of visitors and I needed r... Fri, 27 Mar 2015 23:03:37 EST Monkeys, computers and time (looking back) The best laid plans of time can be off set and wasted in the strangest of ways. I went to bed last night with the best of intentions for today. <BR> <BR> The good news, I'm not giving up. Yet, when someone that is 120 lbs (this is me 30 years ago!) looks at someone over 200 lbs and thinks (yes I remember this thought very distinctly) "I will never let myself look like that! How can someone not just get strict and just eat the right things". Oh younger self let me explain - first in genera... Thu, 26 Mar 2015 21:50:08 EST class tomorrow Taking a continuing education class tomorrow and will be trying to do the start of clean up in my "disaster room" that's the place you put something where you don't know where else to put it. I did some passive stretching, drank water and felt so lazy today as I rested my bum. Hoping tomorrow to be able to do a bit more. Thu, 26 Mar 2015 02:59:12 EST The Cold reality of weight loss So a few weeks back I was so cold. so I went on a routine to raise my body temperature and my desire to eat increased and weight loss really slowed down. <BR> <BR> So in trying to figure this out, I came across some research that being cold increases the activation of brown fat - which help you stay warm (ie burns calories) and decreases blood sugar. There were many wack sites as well claiming drinking ice water and eating cold food burns calories. Well, doesn't take much common sense to k... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 23:17:22 EST Baby Steps of Progress - Day 1 of House Clean up To get started today for the house clean up was going to the bank and then shopping for a new kitchen sink. <BR> <BR> Our kitchen sink despite multiple repairs has leaked and is just hard to turn on and off. It makes all kitchen clean up harder as ever thing you to goes via the kitchen sink. This errand took nearly the whole day. And now we are putting it in. <BR> <BR> My day can be described as snacking. I went out of the house without eating as I realized there was only 15 minutes bef... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 00:35:29 EST Neutral Day I wasn't bad but neither was I great. I tracking and slept most of the day and ironically I'm still tired. After seeing a sparkle blog I want to start my own 30-days to a more organized house. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I start with the kitchen, I hope. Sat, 21 Mar 2015 02:55:13 EST Back on the road of good intentions So was 227 and after several days of out and out free for all eating I'm now 230. Yet I'm tracking again and to curve the need to eat my first meal today was a good fat mixture of olives, capers, tuna, sun dries tomatoes, artichoke hearts and dried apricots. Figure I'd signal my brain that it got what it needed. Drinking tons of club soda and got out in the sun for an hour for some natural Vitamin D. <BR> <BR> I took a walk yesterday (which I didn't log, because food logging comes first),... Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:00:49 EST Living with my brick wall and binge So I admit the last 24 hours have been a binge. I have had the worst attitude of feeling entitled to eat what ever and when ever I want. <BR> <BR> I figure it is my brain just demanding a reward for all the stress and anticipation. So many people thanked me in so sincere words. I heard it but somehow my heart had not. I think maybe because the price this time was too high. Getting ready for the luncheon so distracted me from all my goals. My body also is more screaming in pain than nor... Sun, 15 Mar 2015 19:56:08 EST Positive Mind and Successful Luncheon There were so many things that went "wrong" but all turned out well. <BR> <BR> 1) I brought all the tapas etc but forgot MY crockpot - Thank goodness I asked one other person to bring one so we had enough <BR> 2) The day before I brought a box up to the reception area that had plates, crockpot liners and serving pieces. You think I could find it? - it had been moved and took a full 1/2 hour to find. <BR> 3) Then my dear husband (oh how he helped me today - good husband, good husband) point... Fri, 13 Mar 2015 19:58:10 EST 2 lbs off Bonus - this week I'm cooking for a big luncheon. I made the three tapas, just hours ago and all the rest is ready, but for the eggs being cracked and beaten in the morning. Had to admit I'm really proud of myself, pacing this out so it all got done AND with minimal nibbling so that I too off 2 lbs. <BR> <BR> After this is done tomorrow. Going to take my methotrexate, climb into bed and sleep. Then maybe by Saturday I can get a good walk in. To tired to write more. Less that 12 hours u... Fri, 13 Mar 2015 04:27:42 EST 3:00 pm I'm so behind, because of yesterday twice as much to do today and I'm just starting to rolling. My body is so frustrating to me. It's times like this that make me feel trying to be more active in this world is so not worth it. Why did I agree to run this luncheon? On one hand makes my brain happy to feel worth while on the otherside just reminds me of how far off my "normal" self I really am. <BR> <BR> Dare I say I'm down because of my body being a brat. Can't wait to get the Friday lu... Wed, 11 Mar 2015 18:30:48 EST Rest It was an inflammation day. Spent it mainly in bed. The joints on my thumbs are hurting, thankgoodness I started early. Also previously I've times when I had my throat lock up on me when I eat. Basically mid swallow, my throat spasms and hurts like heck and completely unable to swallow. Today was the first time this happened with water. It was so frustrating. I was thristy and literally couldn't drink. Finally just had to hold water in my mouth. So twice as much to do tomorrow, bette... Wed, 11 Mar 2015 02:32:58 EST Allergy, Sensitivity or Intolerance Journey update: <BR> So I continued to do prep for the luncheon Friday. One of the things I did was do cups with a variety of nuts and seeds. There was so much opportunity to nibble here and there. I did sample one of each just to make sure no batch was rancid, but it stopped right there. <BR> <BR> In order to balance the scales on each, I did a much higher protein dinner and lower on calories. Net overage on the weekend was about 400 calories and today I did -200. So with the bit of ex... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 01:49:29 EST back on track Good day getting back on track. Only thing missing is exercise, but due to all the prep for the luncheon and needing to be vital on my feet for 5 hours on Friday, I'm not even going to worry about it. <BR> <BR> So starting tomorrow coffee every morning and go go go. Tomorrow will be the hardest. I've copies off the menus and need to fold them. I also am packaging up the nuts in paper cones. This is the type of work that make my hands hurt. So just going to take it slow and take breaks.... Mon, 9 Mar 2015 02:47:43 EST Two days of being off track Lol so when you are doing CR (800-1000 calories for me). binging is still being low calorie. I had free pizza be delivered to my home and because for this luncheon I need the refrigerator space and because it was free - I have been eating pizza. I really thought I had completely blown it, but tracked honestly and you know what - both days within my old range of "dieting". <BR> <BR> But I really need to step back into my original plan starting tomorrow. The sodium once again in bumping up ... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 23:51:55 EST Keeping body core hot New goal - keeping body core hot <BR> <BR> It is so eye opening to learn my core temperature truly drops, and when I'm feeling cold I really am very cold. Yet, just a tiny amount (5 minutes) of muscle tightening exercise changes that all around, and lasts for about 45 minutes. <BR> <BR> So new policy is every hour on the hour I'm doing a 5 minute routine to raise my body temperature. (Downside, as my temperature increases so has my appetite - yikes have to watch that) <BR> <BR> Also have ... Thu, 5 Mar 2015 13:46:00 EST Cold, really cold Blogging puts truth in your face. I just blogged that I was having trouble staying warm and I knew I was having a metabolism issues, because as soon as I start eating above 1,000 calories I gain weight. <BR> <BR> So I decided to turn perception to science - so out comes the thermometer. I have to tell you the results were very in my face surprising. <BR> <BR> So set the stage: <BR> <BR> "While the core body temperature is usually around 37°C, the rest of the body can be 2-4°C colder on ... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 05:00:41 EST Returning to tried and true So the super food combo that got me where I am thus far is 1 can of tuna, mixed with equal parts of organic salsa and greek yogurt. It is cheap, it is quick when I do reach the hunger wall, and mainly it fills me up and gets me to all the major nutrition goals of protein, fiber and vitamins - other than potassium and calcium which I suppliment with vitamins. <BR> <BR> I really wanted to go for a little bit more variety, but after the weekend plateau I need to kick it to make sure my body un... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 21:05:07 EST LLAP The beginning of this last weekend saw the passing of Leonard Nimoy. The embodiment of all things logical. For an emotionless character Spock's departure greeting "Live long and prosper" could be the Sparkpeople cheer. <BR> <BR> So I had time with my friend and my daughter this weekend. Again I did very good choices and keep both days under 1,000 calories. I really thought I would over run more, but managed to do quite well. It is restaurant food so I always figure I may have missed som... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 01:51:16 EST My Spanish Menu I have been asked to plan and help prepare a Lenten Luncheon for 30-50 people. So I drafted a prep plan (2 weeks before, shopping lists, day before, and day of with plating and garnish) as well as this menu. So in the days coming up you are sure to see some of this come up on my nutrition logger as I sample and get it all right. <BR> <BR> Spanish Tapas and Pinchos <BR> †Empanadas Tapas – Sofrito (tomato and garlic), Cádiz región (tuna, boiled eggs, raisin and oregano), New World (chili and... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 07:39:32 EST 1/2 pound I will take it. This is another place that according to the math, it should be another pound off. Yet it was 1/2 pound. Last time the scales surprised me the next day. I'm doubting that will happen this time. Due to inflammation my hands are puffy, so guessing there is edema going on. So just staying the course and drinking water. <BR> <BR> Still for how conservative I have been on calories and dedicated to tracking all, so surprising how much a body works to remain status quo. I am ... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 23:51:02 EST Allowing some "give" to get nutrition To my focus right now is to find some other menus that allow me to continue CR but give some varuety. One thing I have been running low on is calcium (probably be wish to get some supplements), which reminds me it has been awhile since taking extra Vitamin D. <BR> <BR> So today I had to bump up to 1000 kcal to get nore calcium and the minimum level of protein. So be it. No use losing super fast just to lose bone and muscle. <BR> <BR> Took it easy today as was having a flare. This one wo... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 23:57:29 EST Anorexia vs CR vs VLCD Anorexia is very dangerous and is driven by internal feelings of hate of food and its texture, hate of self, desire to self punish and according to some literature changes in the brain that give incorrect feedback on what you mirror image is vs the reality. <BR> <BR> Anorexia can have some bad results. If you don't get enough protein your body goes after its own muscle for survival. So you get muscle wasting - the very part of your body that allows for increased calorie intake. Muscle is ... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 23:19:45 EST Expected Difference by next Dr. Appt So last doc apt was 246. I'm down to 231 and trying to get to 200 by next doc appt. <BR> Grrr I don't think I is going to be enough visual difference. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>b0-edd6-4695-98c6-2585f617d964 </link> Mon, 23 Feb 2015 19:27:22 EST Variety, Whitening and Dye So I have to admit my first 21 focused days have been very successful. <BR> <BR> I have been losing the weigh. I have been moving more. I have been able to start on track. <BR> <BR> This is the point you feel like ripping out some ice cream to celebrate! <BR> <BR> When I went shopping today I was on a mission. The success of the last three weeks has been largely based upon eating over and over again a mixture of tuna, Greek yogurt and salsa. Lean protein at its best. Eating the same t... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 03:18:20 EST Am I imagining? So my hubby has always been supporting and helpful on my health journey. He bought me as a present the Nustep machine that I used today for my exercise. <BR> <BR> I watched movies and exercised and he keep peeking in despite my asking him to let me have my time to exercise alone. There is a mode where I like to see the exercise working on a specific area of fat and my motion is washing it away. I is very satisfying. I might just be imagining it, but it was the first time I felt resistanc... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 21:23:15 EST Aftermath of Exercise with RA Still was worth it proving I could walk 4.5 miles, yet the aftermath was yesterday I started the day with a fever. I felt super sore. I got up to go to a financial seminar I had signed up for so gave me a little bit of a walk. While walking I looked like a 90+ year old woman. My right hip was so in pain and I was limping. <BR> <BR> Today I didn't wake until 3pm. I have swollen lymph nodes under my arms and generally feel like a huge weigh hit me. <BR> <BR> This is why it is so tempting... Thu, 19 Feb 2015 18:39:53 EST Did I really do that?! Pride! You have to understand a month ago it was hard to go up and down stairs. The occasional attempt to just go to the corner of the woods with my dog and husband so painful. <BR> <BR> Today I set a goal to get outside and do what I could. I got up reluctantly and got dressed. I was seriously tempted to forget about it. But then invited my hubby along to a beautiful botanical garden. I figured if I got tired at least it would be an outstanding view while I took breaks. <BR> <BR> We arrived ... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 21:59:31 EST The scale played a joke on me It was a good joke. <BR> <BR> I have not just been good about logging, but I have been better than I ever have been about not over doing it and keeping right to the standard. <BR> <BR> The standard: <BR> * getting at least 60 g of protein per day <BR> * not going over 900 kcal per day <BR> * fasting 12 hours+ per meal <BR> * tracking daily to insure vitamin etc are good and correct the following day <BR> * drinking 8-10 cups of water a day <BR> <BR> So yesterday I felt I was doing all ri... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 23:07:57 EST Numbers reality So it is really hard to face up to the face that even with the strict new CR changes that it will still take me a year to lose the weigh I need to in order to get to me ideal weight (124-132 range). <BR> <BR> You won't believe how much my brain wanted to throw in the towel when it realized the whole journey. <BR> <BR> Until 175 lbs, I can lose a pound every 4 days <BR> Until 132 lbs, I can lose a pound every 5 dtays <BR> <BR> So wake up brain the part you are missing to make this equation ... Sun, 15 Feb 2015 23:21:16 EST 1/8th the way there So I was looking at my ticker and realized that I'm 1/8th of the way on my journey. For less than a months effort, really pleased with that result. <BR> <BR> I'm even more pleased that I'm finding this much easier to keep with than I ever imagined. I can say truthfully after the first 2 weeks of CR that impulses to eat return to typical 1200 calorie restriction levels. I think because I've been trying to be aware, my cravings have been reduced. <BR> <BR> My biggest problem is curious to ... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 22:50:36 EST Respect Begins with Me Respect Begins with Me <BR> <BR> My father use to say <BR> never go to bed angry <BR> at the end of the day <BR> rather say sorry <BR> <BR> My mother use to say <BR> look both way before you cross <BR> be safe along your way <BR> don't get lost <BR> <BR> forgiveness and direction <BR> great lessons for a life <BR> to give understanding and affection <BR> and planning to avoid strife <BR> <BR> Am I this civil to myself <BR> when I start the day <BR> do I look at myself <BR> in a compliment... Fri, 13 Feb 2015 07:05:37 EST Benefits of a Moderate Break I feel happier. <BR> <BR> It was wonderful to have an enjoyable day with my mother. <BR> Funny at one point she brought up that she needed to take off some pounds and was considering cutting back on calories. So in a few weeks we may be on the same track. <BR> <BR> We ended up going to an Indian luncheon buffet. Certainly a challenge. So strategies that allowed me to survive without total damage: <BR> <BR> 1) Right from the start I made up my mind not to share that I was on any sort of ... Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:18:09 EST Planning ahead Today was not a great day - not because of diet, rather a huge headache that whipped my butt. <BR> <BR> The good news is I soldiered on and forced myself to get up and do a stretching and low impact video. I limited both to 5 minutes, so it was only 10 minutes total. Yet, I know from the past doing more in the long run will just play havoc with my body. So until it feels easy these two routines will be my daily practice. <BR> <BR> So tomorrow I will be having lunch with my mother. First... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 01:26:34 EST Survived Eating out ,doing CR In fact for calorie count and nutritional balance it was one of the very best days. <BR> <BR> First off let me step back and explain how I'm managing to go until 8 o'clock at night without eating. I am consuming along with each cup of water a soluble fiber gummy. If you leave one of these in water they swell WAY up. So in the morning I'm literally filling my stomach up. With 5 cups of volume for 25 calories. <BR> <BR> Do I feel hungry, actually not any more. The first week was super har... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 01:36:53 EST Fine Tuning H20 Consumption Back in the year I went vegan, I learned I had iron overload. Now as I'm starting (CR) calorie restriction, I've had an eye opener that I thought I was drinking my water - but I'm not. <BR> <BR> Being more extremely in a diet really exposes quickly cracks in the wall. One of the reason it is good not to do something like this rashly, rather to be very careful listening and watching what is happening. <BR> <BR> After researching whether it is necessary to drink more water during consuming ... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 20:07:53 EST Hard on the Kidneys So the first draw back of doing CR (calorie restriction) is that lovely clear pee is a thing of the past. Too much personal info to share the smell. It is like all the crude of my body is pouring out of me. You would think I'm dehydrated, but honest I've been drinking water. <BR> <BR> I'm going to have to look into if I need to increase my water consumption. I think I once read about high protein diets having this effect. New research to do. <BR> <BR> Oh, anyone reading the last few da... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 03:06:59 EST Bonus more off Weighed after eating and 3 more off. Least you think this is rash some solid proof of why it may be working for me. <BR> <link><BR>C2638732/ </link> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Basically calorie restrictions induce an anti-inflammatory metabolism in the body. <BR> I'm using water and fiber pills in the morning to keep me full until dinner which I eat late. The ideas is to bring your body just to the edge of s... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 07:00:10 EST Reward, today I got in my . "fat pants" So for all of you encouraging me to be kind to myself, trust me I get that. But I was starting to be trapped in my house as most of my clothes weren't fitting. <BR> <BR> I started this latest journey after a doctors visit surprise of 246 lbs. Previously I had reset the top number of my journey to 229 and was going down from there, so huge disaapointment starting over at a higher number. <BR> <BR> Success today. I've dug in hard and have been doing under 1000 calorie restrictions so my sc... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 22:02:10 EST One wish So I am trying. It looks pretty pathetic from an outside view, as I still am spending the majority of my day in bed. However, I am rather drastically cutting back on my calorie intake. I don't believe in fasts - too hard on the body. But I have visions of dying and being this fat barely fitting body in the box. It sickens me. <BR> <BR> My grandmother died on the operating table because the ventilator could bn't resist against the weigh of her chest. She probably was 340+ lbs. Everyo... Tue, 3 Feb 2015 21:44:12 EST Remapping my way I can't exercise like I use to, but I'm ready to try again. Just do what I can. <BR> <BR> I did 12 minutes of purposeful movement today. Just gentle range of movement for my ankles, knees, hips, back, shoulders and elbows. I tracked my food. It a start. <BR> <BR> My last doctor visit (2nd in a year), I could tell how much my hands had improved with the restart of methotrexate. The down side is my tummy is 24/7 feeling slightly edgy upset. Triggering me to eat more as I'm aware of it -... Fri, 23 Jan 2015 02:23:57 EST bout 2 pain So the last two weeks have been huge inflammation flare. Daily I wake up not with just stiff hands but ones locked into place. The tendon swelling in my wrists got so bad it itched terribly from the stretching. Can't dress myself, brushing teeth really hard, stayed upstairs one night as my leg got locked and I had to wait until a reasonable hour to call my hubby to pull it back into socket. <BR> <BR> Then yesterday I awoke with nausea and tad of a headache. Just got worst as the day pr... Thu, 16 Oct 2014 10:16:22 EST Worst abdomen pain ever What the heck happened to me last night? <BR> <BR> I got together to help a friend while her car was being fixed. I was more exhausted than usual, but pushed myself to get up early as she has been the very best at understanding and support during this period of my life. <BR> <BR> After picking her up we went out for breakfast. I choose healthy. I got 1/2 cup of strawberries, 1/2 cup of blueberries, drank a glass of water, 3 cups of coffee (I would have been too tired to drive otherwise) ... Thu, 11 Sep 2014 21:09:45 EST a doctor's trust It has been Busy BUSY since I last wrote. Out of town guests, my MIL's car breaking down so transporting her to the store, doctor etc and then her refrigerator broke so an emergency run the save the food, shop for a new old, clean out the old one. And my mom was on vacation so going to her home and watering and feeding her hummingbirds (so cute the watch at the kitchen sink window as I clean the feeder). <BR> <BR> Next part of busy is I started trying Yin hot yoga. For me just getting s... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 04:13:39 EST Not going to let this block me I have gained three pounds after doing very well on tracking and doing normal moving (I don't call that exercise just not sitting around). <BR> <BR> Frustrating not to see fab result when you know you have been doing it right. But I know what this is water and salt. I've been drinking more and Salsa and pickles have great taste for low calories 'cuz that sodium tastes great. <BR> <BR> As long as my blood pressure is normal, I'm not changing a thing. I've not been feeling super hungry so ... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 21:11:47 EST setting a direction Things I did today right: <BR> -read through voters pamphlet, voted and got it turned in <BR> -ate a good start breakfast <BR> -logged my food at the start of the day and I still have more I can eat (need to eat) <BR> -set an appointment for my dog to get vaccine updates and renewed his license <BR> -got some banana - yea fresh fruit <BR> -solved logging onto my GoodtoGo road pass <BR> -sat down with husband and drafted a goal/task priority list <BR> <BR> Things I could have improved: <BR> -... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 00:46:03 EST I hate myself, but I won't always I'm so filled with anger over the life I've been stuck with. And I can see the writing on the wall for the future. It will be me taking care of my mother and aunt during old age...basically the next 10-15 years. I'm already involved with helping both my mother and my mother in law. My husband is nearing 60 and it just hit my brain that we have been extremely luck to this point on his health. <BR> <BR> I have so many things that need to get done. My house constantly gets ahead of me. I... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 17:15:53 EST Quickie Day 2: Sore lymph nodes swollen but still tried. Tracked food, 12-min seated core workout, took Cole-dog for claw clipping, got part of my car fixed. Wanted to lay in bed but didnt, two fainting episodes, doubled water intake. Sat, 1 Feb 2014 00:27:00 EST Wearing a Tiara Symbols can seem so silly. I remember the first time I looked and Sparkgoodies and it was like - say what?! But today I got a tiara Sparkgoodie and it brought back all the sensations of being the woman that daily did stairs, mile walks and reached a weigh where even if not skinny, I was proud of my picture. <BR> <BR> So I started again today. I cleared off my old streak counter. I logged food, did a really easy starter bit of exercise (Nicole's seated 12-minute core workout), I blogged f... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 22:40:50 EST Thanks Seahawks I've always been a rather weak sports fan. Partial because my family didn't own a TV while I was growing up. However, my father and grandfather we true Yankees fans, which my dad would listen to in the garage from a maroon Bakelite radio. There was only one volume - super loud - as he was listening with a Camel in his left hand and some tool fixing Betsy; our 1956 powder blue chevy. The words never made sense. Yet, the summer of 1969 when I was ten, he took us to the open air games of th... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 06:12:16 EST