KELLYGRN's SparkPeople Blog KELLYGRN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Do you trust your belly? I have no idea when I am hungry or full. Never have that I remember. I have learned to eat on a time schedule. Makes for a boring life. No snacking or nibbles allowed. <BR> <BR> Being in a wheelchair doesn't allow much exercise so to lose weight, low intake is the only way I can see to lose. As long as I don't gain. <BR> <BR> KK <BR> Fri, 24 Oct 2014 14:25:07 EST No shortcuts to life There is no shortcut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned. <BR> --Harrison E. Salisbury <BR> <BR> Shortcuts - everyone is always looking for an easy way out. But in life as in weight loss, there is no real short cuts. We are responsible for what we put into our mouth. Each night before going to bed a plan is made for activities to be done, food to be eaten, exercise to be accomplished. <BR> <BR> Starvation is an easy thing to do but what happens the day a... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 07:32:34 EST Replenish your mood! Think in terms of depletion, not depression. . . . You can understand how a body can replenish itself, whereas it may be difficult to understand the way out of depression. <BR> --Claire Weekes <BR> <BR> When you think about depression as a depletion, it makes life easier to live. Being born depressed and not knowing it, life was always difficult. A depletion can be easily corrected. There is no fault. <BR> <BR> Today's to do list <BR> 1. Buy cereal <BR> 2. Clear off and pack craft tabl... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 11:47:43 EST Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. -Steve Jobs <BR> <BR> I am 64 years old for a few more weeks. I was raised to please everyone and have no mind of what I needed. If I did for others, God would provide for me. That worked fin... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:54:29 EST My week I was going to put together a "My Week" post to everyone I know. <BR> <BR> Still got a hacking cough. Still taking breathing treatments 4 times a day. Which makes me cough deeper. I can't breath deep because of the MS lung damage. <BR> <BR> <BR> Thursday was supposed to be my re-certification meeting with the manager but at my meeting time, the office had a sign on the door & it was locked. Apparently the day & time was changed but no one told me. It is now on the 12th. More time to ... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 17:33:23 EST Robert Frost I'd like to get away from earth awhile. And then come back to it and begin again. <BR> -- Robert Frost <BR> <BR> What would you do/be different if you left this world & came back? I guess in today's vocabulary, reinvent yourself. <BR> <BR> Someone rich & beautiful? <BR> Someone skinny, starving, looking for your next meal? <BR> <BR> Personally I would love to be out of this wheelchair - no matter what size I am. I do miss walking in the forest. Wiggling my toes in the sand at the beach.... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:20:23 EST Come backs for Food Pushers This was a great article. Things others say to you. Thing you WANT to say to them. What you should say to them. <BR> <BR><BR>ers/10-food-pushers-respond-b594692?ut<BR>m_medium=rss&utm_source=ccblog&utm_ter<BR>m=blog_594692 <BR> <BR> "But I made these treats especially for you!" <BR> <BR> What you wish you could say: "If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate cooked raisins." <BR> <BR> Try this instead: No thanks. It can be as simple as th... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 19:06:27 EST Today I am going to interaact with others Doesn't sound like it is a big deal, but it is huge. I have allowed others to take over just because. My feelings are hurt every time some one has an opinion & I am not allowed to express mine. <BR> <BR> Today might be just sitting among the crowd but my feelings will be allowed & acknowledged by me if no one else even knows I am there. Sun, 13 Jan 2013 11:29:07 EST Get Back on Track If I eat something I shouldn't have, I haven't blown it. It is not the end of the world. It's just a mistake. Get back on track this minute! Don't keep on eating! That makes no sense. It a million times better to stop now than to allow myself to eat more. <BR> <BR> Most of what I write abut here are starters from Beck Diet Solutions. This cognitive behavior therapy book has been a life saver for me in so many areas of my life. Stop and think. Ask yourself "Why am I doing this?" Wh... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 09:46:25 EST NO EXCUSES Just because I want to eat, doesn't mean I should. <BR> <BR> Eating small meals often means I am getting enough food and should be satisfied after each meal. It is only 4 hours till the next meal. Allow the food eaten to reach your stomach & be satisfied. <BR> <BR> Today is a rainy, cold day. Packing Christmas decorations & putting away groceries. <BR> <BR> Always remember - NO is a complete sentence! Sat, 5 Jan 2013 13:08:55 EST Happy is me! Don't know why but this is a happy day. It is cold even said it snowed in El Paso. <BR> <BR> Whatever is causing this happy I'm accepting & getting on with the day. Fri, 4 Jan 2013 15:40:37 EST Today I paid for lack of care yesterday Yesterday I was alone, no aide for the 2nd day in a row. No plan in place or extra food or drink. I will have a plan in place for 5 days of food & drink. <BR> <BR> So today I had an aide but ordered pizza anyway. Stress relief? <BR> <BR> I binged & I'm over it. Thu, 3 Jan 2013 20:14:13 EST Just because I want it does not mean I should have it. What a way to start the year. Thoughts of all the things I miss. Must change the way I am thinking. Food is not a reward. A good hair cut is a great reward. <BR> <BR> My resolution is to get out among other people & learn to trust & accept others. One party dwn and an invite to another. <BR> <BR> KK Wed, 2 Jan 2013 14:09:51 EST Do I Deserve to Eat? What constitutes the right to eat? Who has permission to make that decision for you? Growing up it was always see that everyone else got feed & had plenty to eat. Then if there was any left, I got to eat alone in the kitchen after I did the dishes. <BR> <BR> Along with not being able to walk because of my MS, I also have swallowing problems. Can't talk very well anymore so need to concentrate on chewing & swallowing. Most meals are alone. Or maybe with someone watching to help if I ch... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 13:57:12 EST Hunger & Cravings Aren't Emergencies I can tolerate them. They are mild compared to a burn from cooking. I'm going to eat again in 4 hours anyway. <BR> <BR> That is from Beck Diet Solution. This always reminds me of mom hiding goodies under the broiler drawer in the stove. Her just in case supply. But that was her issue not mine. <BR> <BR> I live alone. There is no one to take my food away from me. It will be there right where I left it when I want more. No one is going to touch my food. <BR> <BR> I have a food plan... Sat, 29 Dec 2012 09:40:04 EST Grandsons are gifted and gone back home It was great to see them. They getting so big & look so much a like. <BR> <BR> I did give them all but 2 cookies to take with them. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow is another day. Life is back to normal. YEAH!!! Sun, 23 Dec 2012 23:37:53 EST It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas! Presents bought & most wrapped. Only one party left & then it is gift giving for grandsons & then it is over. Not sure how that will leave me feeling but that is next week. <BR> <BR> Today is freezing outside but inside the ac is running & fans are blowing & holiday food to be cooked. Christmas music playing on tv. But I am missing Andy Williams this year. Could not tell you anyone else who died last year but Andy was a big part of my music life. <BR> <BR> Hope you all have a busy ... Sat, 22 Dec 2012 08:28:04 EST MY GOALS My Goals: <BR> I have an eating disorder. <BR> <BR> GOALS <BR> <BR> 1. learn to make a food plan <BR> <BR> 2. learn to stay on a food plan <BR> ### <BR> <BR> Yes I have an eating disorder. Some days I think I was born with it. It is so in grained in me. I start everyday with a plan. End the day too tired to stick with it. <BR> <BR> If there is anyone who reads this and can help with meal planning, please drop me a line. <BR> <BR> KK Fri, 21 Dec 2012 09:20:26 EST Acceptance Acceptance is a word that is hard for me. How do you know when it is time to use your limited energy to fight for recovering lost abilities or use your energy's to be happy about you have left. <BR> <BR> Today I am teaching myself to weave with one arm. Only 9 rows left & I can say "I can weave". <BR> <BR> <em>141</em> <BR> <BR> KK Sat, 8 Dec 2012 12:25:04 EST Acceptance Acceptance is a word that is hard for me. How do you know when it is time to use your limited energy to fight for recovering lost abilities or use your energy's to be happy about you have left. <BR> <BR> Today I am teaching myself to weave with one arm. Only 9 rows left & I can say "I can weave". <BR> <BR> <em>141</em> <BR> <BR> KK Sat, 8 Dec 2012 12:23:32 EST Nurse is coming today I feel better somewhat. MS is still a part of life. Hate being "sick". This is the new me. <BR> <BR> Food is good today. Although the half price pizza ads are driving me crazy. <BR> <BR> Happy eating yall. Wed, 5 Dec 2012 15:51:06 EST I just thought I was sick My nurse decided to come today instead of Thursday. She made it all the way to the parking lot before she up chucked all over her self. No urine testing today. <BR> <BR> But I did get my hair shampooed before I couldn't move from my wheelchair. Food was OK. Stress level way up there. <BR> <BR> KK Tue, 4 Dec 2012 21:18:01 EST Slow Down and Be Mindful When I was growing up food was like a party every meal. My grandma was a preacher so there was always a house full of people to care for. But while caring & entertaining those folks, no one paid attention to what went in their mouths. <BR> <BR> Now all these years later & many pounds packed on, and swallowing dysfunction from MS, meals are a serious thing that must be done while others watch. No talking while food is in your mouth. Hard habit to break. <BR> <BR> Consistency and texture o... Sun, 2 Dec 2012 10:36:56 EST It's OK to disappoint people - But is it OK to disappoint myself? According to Beck Diet Solution "I'm entitled to do what I have to do to lose weight, as long as I am nicely assertive". <BR> <BR> I disappoint myself each day by breaking some habit that each morning I choose not to break. I used to be so structured with my life. I learned to let go of that habit but apparently I now need to find a reason to get some of it back. How do you know when you cross that line? <BR> <BR> I am the only one who can answer that.... Fri, 23 Nov 2012 09:16:31 EST Instead of eating - When I want to eat something I shouldn't, do these things instead: <BR> <BR> 1. Write a blog entry <BR> 2. Work on needlepoint <BR> 3. Have a drink - coffee, water or tea <BR> <BR> Today these are my choices. Tomorrow they may be different. But it is OK to change them everyday if necessary. Whatever it takes to get thru the day. <BR> <BR> ********* <BR> So far today, I have no aide. Since I can't get out of bed safely, there has been no food or drink yet. Sure hope someone comes ... Sun, 18 Nov 2012 14:14:51 EST Do I smell bad or what? I'm serious. My nurse & my aide have been discussing my getting out among people. So today there was a sign up about a games party at 3:00. Forced myself to go. But when I got there, it was a book club meeting instead. The leader of the group motioned for me not to enter. I entered anyway. I have tried to find out what books they are reading but no one ever tells me. A sign? <BR> <BR> I can't hold a book but listen to audio books all the time. Any book that is in the library I can g... Fri, 16 Nov 2012 17:35:22 EST EAT MINDFULLY I need to eat slowly and mindfully while sitting down - EVERY SINGLE TIME. <BR> The Beck Diet Workshop. <BR> <BR> I really didn't need that second cereal bar but it was there. It really is OK to have food sitting around the house. I am the only one who will eat it. No reason to eat it before someone finds it. It is my house and I am in charge. <BR> <BR> On to another topic - ENEMA'S <BR> Got ideas on how to use them even if I don't have control of those muscles. Let you know what kin... Thu, 15 Nov 2012 09:42:03 EST Finished PT - YEAH!!! Not that I am any better but we finally did core exercises this last 4 weeks. I can recover when I fall over in my wheelchair. I had PT move my legs for me. That was exciting at least to know they will mover again. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a binge day. Too much time on my hands. Today the aide is coming & we are working on a food plan for at least 2 weeks. <BR> <BR> Got Social Security paper work started for them to help make payments on my drugs. I really think I qualify. Being 64 was... Thu, 8 Nov 2012 12:18:36 EST Sure hope gastro can tell me why I can't eat I planned on eating supper but there is no room to put anything in my stomach. So calorie level is low. <BR> <BR> Stumbled, but didn't hit the floor, last night. Just destroyed the living room. Aide fussed because I didn't wait till she got there. Told her I didn't trust the weekend aide. She met her today. Think she understands now. Not the smartest cookie in the box. but she can do the weekend chores. <BR> <BR> Send a urine sample to doc today. Been running fever & painful blad... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 19:30:15 EST The week from H**L Sewer backup & most of my food had to be thrown out. Only got one appliance - a can opener that everyone complained about using. Apt management says it was an "act of GOD". Think GOD would argue the point on that one. If you don't keep the sewer lines clean, it ain't GOD'S fault. <BR> <BR> Then went to the Post Office. Automatic doors still broken. It's only been 3 months. The outside boxes are cowered with a sign that say DO NOT DEPOSIT MAIL HERE. So me & my 150 lb wheelchair bust th... Sun, 8 Jul 2012 12:38:23 EST Things are looking better & better I finally have my DynaVox (speech machine) & my fancy phone that works with the DynaVox. Look out, you may receive a call from me with my computer voice! <BR> <BR> Bought a chair boxing dvd this morning. One arm is really strong the other is so-so. Maybe this will help my endurance levels. Supposed to be aerobic. <BR> <BR> Food has not been the way I want but losing anyway. <BR> <BR> KK Sun, 15 Jan 2012 08:02:52 EST Anyone on line around 5 PM Central Standard Time? I have got to find a way to stop the mindless eating. Getting out of the house doesn't help. Stores are too close. I feel deprived. I'm know I'm not but... Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:13:35 EST Not a perfect start Not a perfect start but after a piece of cake, it was time to start. So I a m now officially on the starter diet. I truly hate this disease. But I did have it for 50 years before my stomach stopped working. <BR> <BR> Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:03:07 EST Been a while since I wrote anything here! Rain finally. 3-5 inches yesterday. Only 22 inches shy of our normal. <BR> <BR> I am supposed to be on a trial diet for gastroparesis but my aides keep bringing me food. So I ate half a cupcake with my coffee. So from this moment on ... <BR> <BR> Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:35:24 EST Cold - BRRR!!! Wanted to go to grocery to get Popsicles. Have to let Rosa do it. <BR> <BR> Is it important to remember all those years that are gone? Can't you lose weight without remembering? I'm too old to dig up the past. Tue, 15 Mar 2011 10:24:05 EST Flash at the airport video My MS has taken away most of the enjoyment of my life. Usually I don't think about it. There are other things or ways to do what I like to do. <BR> <BR> Someone sent me this viral video. It was wonderful music, dancing & happiness had by all. It really got me thinking about what my life would have been like if I was allowed to have a normal life. That was yesterday. <BR> <BR> Today I am trying to remember the things I can do for me. Mon, 14 Mar 2011 13:07:31 EST I have been on this site for 5 years! Weight has made slight changes. But I am learning how to keep a journal of my food & feelings. Still have to figure out how to add more protein into my calorie base. Ensure has so many carbs but that is what Meals on Wheels brings me. <BR> <BR> Still no way to exercise so fewer calories is the only way to lose. Off to sit outside in the 55 degree weather. Sun, 28 Nov 2010 11:59:21 EST Stay inside out of trouble Isn't that pitiful! I am not a stay inside person at all. But that will solve the running out to the little grocery store. Also people will not complain because I'm not talking & have no way to communicate outside my bedroom. <BR> <BR> Another day of liquids. There has to be a way to stop my stomach from getting larger. Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:47:39 EST Think I may be back to my old self again! I fixed the medical problem. Side effect of acid reflux drug - BLOOD IN URINE. Stopped taking it & bleeding stopped. Had no infection so that should be that. <BR> <BR> I found an affirmation site today. Been to that site many years now but never thought to look for affirmations. <BR> <BR> Today's affirmation - Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. <BR> <BR> KK <BR> <em>134</em> Slow and steady wins the race. Wed, 5 May 2010 07:37:30 EST Bloating again Don't understand why. Didn't eat that much food. Lots of water tho. Just so thirsty. <BR> <BR> Still no thresh hold. And seeing how "I am always complaining" not sure it's safe to ask about if or when it will be installed. You walk down the hall & smell every poop wafting down the hall. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I am going to try to stand & weigh myself. Wish me luck! <BR> <BR> KK Wed, 21 Apr 2010 19:32:48 EST Sorry guys - Extremely smelly week Sleeping the night away when knocking on the door woke me up. Decided whoever is knocking must have something bad going on so they get me in my nightie! Apartment secretary wants to now if I have water running. Since I was sleeping I sure hope not. But floor was wet carpet in the hallway was standing in water & the smell was - well gross. I told her what happened & no one believed me. Someone upstairs had clogged the drain & the sewer backed up into my kitchen sink. <BR> <BR> 2 days ... Thu, 8 Apr 2010 17:49:51 EST Not hungry but... It is 2:30 pm & I am not hungry. I have a strange feeling, like a nervousness in my belly. I always give in to it. But today I am trying so hard to find something to take my mind off this shaky feeling. <BR> <BR> I am listening to a novel & a movie comes on in 30 minutes. While I watch the movie, & will add embroidery to the wall hanging. <BR> <BR> Might be back on here in a few hours. Sun, 4 Apr 2010 15:41:49 EST Down and out It is April. I have always had MS episodes in April & October every year as long as I can remember. Now that I have SPMS didn't think I would be getting worse in April any longer. <BR> <BR> This symptom is a worsening of an old one. I am not being understood slurring or talking loud enough. I have gotten all sorts of info on Dynavox. Applied to state & MSF for help paying for a way to communicate outside my bedroom. My desktop computer has a text to speech program on it. <BR> <BR> The most ... Thu, 1 Apr 2010 17:14:36 EST Catch up Doc appt wasn't great. But 5 days after stopping the med, I am doing so much better. Just wish I had $100 to buy the drug that works for me. <BR> <BR> Do you remember being thinner? I try to think about & get nothing in my head. Pictures are not a reality for me. Maybe I can figure out what I could look like with less stomach. <BR> <BR> I heard the other day that with gastric bypass surgery your stomach goes from the size of a football to the size of 1 cup. Been trying to remember tha... Mon, 22 Mar 2010 21:08:48 EST DOC APPT TOMORROW Doc thought to many serious things were going on. So tomorrow is my turn to tell him what's going on. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:14:14 EST Something is wrong I ran out of my Sjogren med last week. Started a new GERD med this week. Now I feel like there is food all the way from throat to bowel. I am eating small amounts of food but there seems to be no place for it to go. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I am stopping the GERD med to see if that makes a difference. <BR> <BR> KK Wed, 17 Mar 2010 20:50:46 EST Reasons to lose weight. This can go several ways. <BR> <BR> 1. Get a smaller wheelchair. <BR> 2. Fit into clothes I already own. <BR> 3. Get rid of storage where clothes are. <BR> 4. Brain will be faster? Well - maybe? <BR> <BR> I am tired of feel like a sack of cement. Heavy & stiff. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:59:26 EST Mental Health Toolkit It’s my hope you’ll create a toolkit to deal with whatever MS throws your way. <BR> <BR> Here’s what I’m going to do the next time I crash and burn: <BR> <BR> No matter how awful I feel I will call my friend who always makes me laugh and feel young again <BR> <BR> <BR> I will look through the “Feel Good” folder where I put uplifting emails all the way from those kinda corny animal emails to complimentary letters from clients, friends and family <BR> <BR> <BR> I will ask someone to go ... Wed, 17 Feb 2010 17:24:33 EST THINK MY SCALES ARE BROKE! Decided to weigh myself. YEAH ME!!! Went from 239.6 last week to 106.8 tonight. Yes I have been dieting but... <BR> <BR> This scale is not even a year old. Time to shop again. It was so hard last time. <BR> <BR> KK Tue, 9 Feb 2010 01:44:15 EST Hunger? I have never known when I was hungry or full. Calorie wise yesterday was good. I ate 2 Ensure at the same time. Was miserable all night. <BR> <BR> Small meals at 4 hour between meals. Thought by all these years I would have eating down pat. Sat, 6 Feb 2010 18:06:25 EST