KELAN5's SparkPeople Blog KELAN5's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Incline Days I have been struggling the past few weeks with staying within my calories. After an active but eat-what-I-like vacation, I returned home and ate sparingly due to a nasty cold. Shortly after, my mother arrived and I ate dinner and dessert daily. Today, on my own, I exceeded my calories by a lot (about 700 calories) and didn't track until afterwards. I am not sure what is going on. I dont feel as disciplined as I was previously (this has been going on for nearly a year) and I feel my mood... Thu, 11 Feb 2016 00:06:11 EST 44 Years (2014 in Review) Yesterday was my 44th birthday. Every year I stop to reflect on the past 12 months of my life. This has been a fantastic year. While I lost much less weight in 2014 than 2013 (approximately 40 pounds), I have more stamina than I have ever had and I have gone down 3 sizes. I am now in single digits in jeans - size 8! When I began this journey at size 24, I listed a size 8 as my goal. I hadn't been this size since I was approximately 18 years old, and I had no idea if this size was even a... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 14:20:42 EST What I Learned from Surgery On September 4th I accomplished something I was terrified I would never be able to do-- I had my first non-dental surgical procedure. In 2003 I was diagnosed with very large Uterine Fibroids (approximately the size of a five-month fetus as I have been told), and for the last 11 years I have carried them around with me, not sure what I wanted to do, scared of the procedure. This year, however, with the help of the amazing SparkPeople goal board, I committed to having it done. I put it on th... Thu, 11 Sep 2014 12:17:44 EST My Anniversary - July 5th Each July 5th is a day of reflection. Seven years ago I made a decision to take control of my life on this day. Two years ago I recommitted and took action. I have lost 126 pounds since July 5, 2012, and I have never felt more alive, capable, and excited! I give thanks for the support I have received and the strength I have gained that has made all of this possible. I am wearing a size 10 now which is the smallest I've been in many, many years (I really can't remember the last time I wor... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 22:31:20 EST No Longer Obese! Today the scale read 173.4. This is below the obese BMI. I am so grateful and excited! All week I have been working extra hard on the exercise taking walks with my husband each evening and looking for any opportunity to climb some stairs or get some extra exercise in. I also have noticed a decrease in my appetite which is such a blessing! It's making it much easier to keep my calories within range. I now need to lose only 33.4 pounds to get to a healthy weight and 38.4 pounds to get to ... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 13:34:09 EST In Awe <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Seven years ago, when I first joined Spark, I weighed 317 pounds. I had trouble breathing just walking from the parking lot to the office (a very short walk). I could not climb the stairs to the second floor without feeling faint. It was exhausting just to take a shower. <BR> <BR> It hadn't always been this way. In high school I was actually fairly slender (due, in part, to a mild eating disorder). In 200... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 14:16:00 EST Getting Closer to My Goals Today I weighed in at 185.4. To many this is still a high weight, and I see the extra fat above my knees, on my arms, and on my stomach-- I am still a work in progress to be sure-- but when I look at my weight tracker, I see my little car icon nearly all the way to the right between two small mountains. Scanning all the way to the left of the tracker I can see how far I've come from my highest weight in 2007, 317 pounds. It's very hard to believe that only 45.4 pounds remain before I reach... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 10:53:38 EST What I've Learned from Travel - Italy 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I'm back from a two-week adventure in Italy-- Rome, Florence, and Venice. My husband said I had been training for this for the past year and a half and that he was having trouble keeping up with me. This is a huge difference from our trip to London and Paris three years ago at 40 years old and 295 pounds (over 100 pounds heavier than I was this time around) and with very limited physical activity on a daily basi... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 13:35:43 EST I Survived Thanksgiving! Holidays always create a great deal of anxiety for me in terms of eating. I tend to stress eat when I am in such social situations. This time I tried something new, however. I knew the basics of what would be served, and I logged my calories ahead of time. It worked out great! I stayed within range and enjoyed the evening much more than usual (made more pleasant by the fact everyone was commenting on how beautiful I looked!). I may never feel fully in control at these gatherings, but I ... Fri, 29 Nov 2013 00:59:27 EST Cycling As usual, the scale went down for two weeks and now has climbed back up (today it was at 201). I know that this is water weight/bloating, so I am not overly concerned anymore, just trying to stay motivated and avoid the pitfalls of holiday eating (treats abounded this week in the office and at home and I wasn't as vigilant as usual). I am reminding myself once more that this is my life, not a diet, and sometimes I am going to eat a cupcake or some pretzels. However, I also know that after ... Sat, 2 Nov 2013 21:42:31 EST And just like that.... I entered the 190s ("Onederland"). It came as a big surprise to me...with none of the emotional upheaval I expected to have...the crossing of a threshold that had seemed to be an insurmountable barrier in the past. I put one foot in front of the other (on the treadmill, of course!) and now here I am! 57 more pounds to go and I will be at my goal weight. I am living proof that consistency, positivity, faithfully logging calories and making realistic goals (since this is my life, not a diet... Sun, 27 Oct 2013 15:27:59 EST My Independence Day, 2013 - Reclaiming my Body and Myself Six years ago on July 4th I made a commitment to change my life. I started exercising on a daily basis and logged my calories on Spark. I felt good about my progress and lost nearly 50 pounds going from my all-time high weight of 317 to 270. In the middle of all of this, however, I lost some of my motivation. I caught a cold and stopped exercising. I felt that I could continue to lose weight without exercise, and I tried to take the easy way out. Then the pressures of working too much (... Fri, 5 Jul 2013 15:12:05 EST Social Anxiety & Eating I am a very shy person by nature (although few people believe me when I tell them that) and I've noticed lately that this anxiety leads me to comfort foods. Eating is something you can do at social events that makes you look like you're DOING something and, therefore, helps to lessen the feeling of awkwardness. I first noticed this to the extreme when eating dinner with my husband's family and finding myself in the midst of a conflict that had nothing to do with me. I had been making excel... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 23:36:12 EST Tracing History My husband's mother asked after watching the wonderful birthday video that my husband created for my 40th, "You were so skinny. What happened?" An innocent question, but one that both hurt and has lingered in my mind for nearly two years. How did the thin little girl become the plump pre-adolescent who then became the thin teen who engaged frequently with disordered eating patterns to the overweight college student who finally transformed into an obese young woman in her mid-20s and early ... Sat, 15 Sep 2012 21:29:09 EST My Fourth Today I realized that I am in a sort of self-destruct mode. I know that I need to drink more water to take care of my body, for instance, but I have not been doing so. I view my page and see how far I've come, in some ways, from that fourth day in July of 2007 when I decided to change my life. However, the treadmill stays closed and I work myself into the ground with the goal of having a better life for Rogelio and me. However, I wonder more and more now whether, if I keep up the way I am... Tue, 7 Jul 2009 11:16:58 EST What We Carry: Dealing With Compliments and Other Matters Sooo...last week a young woman i haven't seen in some time (and who happens to be very thin and gorgeous) saw me, didn't really recognize me, and then said, "oh my god, you look sooooo beautiful, have you been working out" and then kind of snuggled in to give me a hug-- somehow it made me feel awkward and more like I wasn't this competent woman who has a master's degree but instead more like a stuffed animal. I was once a very image-conscious, attractive, thin young woman with a major eating... Sun, 25 Nov 2007 22:15:40 EST October 2007-- Where I was I am a poet, a counselor, a teacher. I've neglected my body for too long in favor of developing my mind. I put my budget on a diet in 2006 (two more years to go before fully paying off all of my credit card debt-- whew!), and now it's time to change the way I feel and look. One day earlier this year I told my partner, Rogelio, "I don't feel well." He replied, "When do you ever feel well?" From fibroid tumors (which caused 7 months of non-stop bleeding last year) to a thyroid condition to... Sun, 11 Nov 2007 15:54:54 EST Setback Goal One of my habits that has been the hardest to break is snacking on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings when I get home. When I am home by myself, I do not tend to make my own dinner. Instead, I find myself snacking on baked cheese puffs, hummus and crackers. Although these are healthier alternatives, they are definitely binge "comfort" items. I am going to make a concerted effort to eat soup or cereal with banana when I come home on those evenings from now on. Sat, 13 Oct 2007 14:26:57 EST upper thigh- success! my upper thigh now measures 30 inches-- this is five inches less than when i started to spark in july! Sat, 29 Sep 2007 11:41:16 EST measurements hips 56 <BR> neck <BR> waist 42 <BR> upper arm <BR> low stomach 55.5 <BR> bust 41 <BR> upper thigh Thu, 9 Aug 2007 10:20:33 EST Progress Today we had a staff meeting and the meal was provided by my director. It was mediterranean food and it was so delicious! I tried to exercise moderation but ended up eating one and a half plates of food. The second helping was more of a desire to fill up since I was still hungry, but it was also because it tasted so good. At any rate, I recorded my food and was conscious the whole time (I did scare myself a little by the fact I automatically went over to get another helping-- felt a tiny ... Thu, 9 Aug 2007 01:10:39 EST measurements hips 57 <BR> neck 15 <BR> waist 43 <BR> upper arm 21.5 <BR> low stomach 55.5 <BR> bust 42 <BR> upper thigh 34 <BR> <BR> I'm trying to learn to be more consistent in my measurement "spots," as the numbers are fluctuating a bit. Bottom line: I've lost 2 inches in my bust (band size calculation), 1 inch in my neck, 3 inches in my waist (woo hoo!), 1.5 inches in my hips, and 1 inch in the difficult-to-slim upper thigh. Also, upper arm .5 inches slimmer (for some of these, I have a sneaking s... Sun, 29 Jul 2007 10:35:15 EST measurements hips 57 <BR> neck 15 <BR> waist 44 <BR> upper arm 21 (can't seem to measure in the same place each time!) <BR> low stomach 57 (same type of inconsistency-- but this appears more accurate than 7/14) <BR> bust 42 <BR> thigh 35 <BR> Wed, 25 Jul 2007 10:29:33 EST measurements bust 42.75-- i'm noticing that some areas of my bra are feeling "baggy"; it appears that some of the fat roll that sits at the top of my bra on the sides is going away. yay me! Sat, 21 Jul 2007 11:11:33 EST Lunch out I prepared for the late lunch-- ate before going, etc., ate less in preparation for the pizza. Got there and didn't have a problem not eating much-- drank a glass of water, only ate three very slim slices of pizza (the serving size that came closest was 1/3 of the pizza). Went to the movies, drank water, fine-- then I became famished when we got to the car. I decided to eat "one more slice" when I got home (had taken it to go). Now, Rogelio offered to throw it away when we got to the thea... Sun, 15 Jul 2007 00:11:47 EST measurements weight 303 <BR> <BR> hips 57.5 <BR> neck 15.5 <BR> waist 44 <BR> upper arm 19.5 <BR> low stomach 54 <BR> bust 43.5 <BR> thigh 35 Sat, 14 Jul 2007 11:55:46 EST Lunch out-- Oh no! My first lunch out since starting "the change" will be tomorrow. I checked the CPK website to see if there was nutrition information-- nope! I checked The Daily Plate and they do have nutrition info for the place-- 9-11 grams of fat for 1/3 of a pizza. I can do that. I am really working on learning to control portions and make body-smart choices because this is real life. Just like with learning anything else (or taking a class), it's important to know how to do these things in order to ... Thu, 12 Jul 2007 20:23:35 EST measurements neck 16 <BR> upper arm 22 <BR> waist 46 <BR> hips 58.5 (widest point) <BR> bust 44 <BR> upper thigh 35 <BR> lower stomach 55.5 <BR> shoe size 8.5 (used to wear a 7 or 7.5) <BR> <BR> Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:46:27 EST