KDYLOSE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=KDYLOSE KDYLOSE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Oliver Sacks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5987614 Oliver Sacks was one of my favorite people in the world. He died this weekend in his 80's. If you don't know much about him, google him. He had the most amazing life. Scientist, writer, incredible humanist, still swimming a mile a day in his old age, with the kindest, most intelligent face. I always had a bit of a crush on him but just found out from his obits that he was gay. <BR> <BR> Here's a great article I just found. <BR> <BR> <link>www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking<BR>-of-scienc... Sun, 30 Aug 2015 19:58:21 EST follow-up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986706 I want to stress that the event I mentioned in my last blog, the emotional plunge I went through last Thurs, Fri and Sat, was a one-time aberration and not something I expect to ever happen again. It was a wake-up call and I think I've addressed it in a good way. <BR> <BR> I was thinking, I guess Vicki is right that maybe I underestimated the scope of all the changes I was making in my life and how long it would take to absorb. I expect myself to be this plucky, can-do type, but it doesn't c... Sat, 29 Aug 2015 07:35:05 EST identity http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986181 I was hit by a sudden bit of insight this morning about what I've been experiencing since leaving Piqua. I saw that in a way I've been shedding pieces of my identity. <BR> <BR> When I came here I left behind, by choice, my identity as a married woman with a house and daily/seasonal routines and responsibilities, as well as my identity as a member of a small town. (As much as I disdained that town in some ways, I was a member and was known by people, both from my stints on local newspapers an... Fri, 28 Aug 2015 07:55:48 EST starving in America http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985716 I just have to comment on this, and I restrained myself from doing it on the message board as I didn't want to start World War III. Somebody started a thread asking for ideas on cheap healthy foods because they're on a tight budget. They included this line about how bored they are with their current foods: <BR> <BR> "If I have to eat pork chops with green beans one more time I am just going to starve!" <BR> <BR> I just couldn't help but think of how many people, both in this country and aro... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 10:55:09 EST A plan? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984379 I'm a little under the weather today and yesterday. This seems to happen to me every year as summer starts turning to fall, which really pisses me off because I love the fall weather so much and want to get out in it, and then I get sick. But it should pass by tomorrow or next day. <BR> <BR> I suppose I could also have had a little immune-system dip from my emotional tailspin there. I was not in a good way. <BR> <BR> I googled "volunteer Columbus" yesterday and was amazed at all the links ... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 09:00:49 EST borrowed dog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983259 Amy and I were supposed to go for a hike with Benny today, but she wasn't feeling well. So there I was sitting home, needing to go out. I've done lots and lots of walking around this neighborhood by myself and it's beginning to wear thin and seem a little depressing. Thought about driving to a metropark and hiking but I just didn't feel like doing that alone either. So then I had a thought - I called Amy and asked if I could borrow Benny. We drove to the metropark and hiked all over the woods... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 15:35:36 EST junk food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983024 During my little tailspin there I had two days where I ate a lot of sugar, which I don't usually go near. It was a real eye-opener. I felt so crummy, and I have a feeling it didn't help with my mood swings either. Ate really clean yesterday and I feel better already. How did I used to live like that? <BR> <BR> My life here is making more sense this morning, looking on it as just a transitional stay, a stopover. Hopefully I'm not just delaying dealing with issues by pushing them back a couple... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 07:56:44 EST Hagerstown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982618 I talked to my sister and she's enthusiastic about my coming. She suggested I come out and stay with them for a week, take a look around. They're going on vacation the first two weeks of September, so after that I'll go out there. <BR> <BR> Looked at as a transitional step, Columbus has been a good thing. First off, it was close enough that I could just pack up my car and leave Dave on the spur of the moment, which is the only way I think I was able to extricate myself from that situation. A... Sat, 22 Aug 2015 11:55:43 EST better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982296 Thank you so much for your comments. I'm feeling calmer now. After I wrote that last blog I went to Friday evening services at temple, and during the silent prayer I just kept praying "please help me". Then the rabbi was talking in his sermon about how when we don't have hope we need to dig deep in our pockets and find some. He was also talking about our duty to bring justice to the world, which is a big theme in Reform Judaism, and it got me thinking about the suggestions I'd been given on h... Fri, 21 Aug 2015 21:29:38 EST title http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982216 I can't think of a title for this. I've been having a very rough two days, I keep bursting into tears and these thoughts keep going through my head that I have no life, nothing, no reason to keep going, that the sum total of my life after 65 years is me sitting alone in a half-empty apartment, everything stripped away and gone. That somehow I've screwed it all up. <BR> <BR> I think it's the combination of the total panic I'm feeling about not being able to find a job - starting to look over ... Fri, 21 Aug 2015 18:25:05 EST more change? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5981318 My daughter called last night to ask my thoughts about a job she's looking at in Chicago. She flies out there next week for an interview. I went over the pros and cons with her and said it was a hard decision. Then I got off the phone and cried. If she leaves, then I'm just an old lady alone in a town where I know no one, where I have no reason to be. I think if she leaves I'll probably go east to Hagerstown, Maryland where my sister lives when this lease is up. <BR> <BR> My sister and I we... Thu, 20 Aug 2015 07:20:09 EST better day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5981040 I've made some improvements that might make this a little less painful. First, I went back over my resume to see how I could simplify it. There were two instances where I had one job for two years, then another similar job for two years - because I moved, or the company was sold and I was laid off. In both of these situations, the second company is either out of business, or is not going to have a record of me because it's too long ago and the company's changed hands several times. So I combi... Wed, 19 Aug 2015 17:47:46 EST (tearing hair out) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5980354 I honestly can't believe some of these online applications. I think not needing to fit it onto paper has caused some people to take leave of their senses. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I saw an ad for a position in a local school district, I forget the exact job title but basically it's an aide who helps monitor kids at lunch etc and it paid really well. So I clicked Apply and was sent to some sort of central K-12 application website. <BR> <BR> At 65, and with a long and scattered job history, it ta... Tue, 18 Aug 2015 16:58:46 EST stuck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5979362 I don't know, this could go on for a while. Sometimes my body just settles in at a certain weight. <BR> <BR> Once about 20 years ago I joined Weight Watchers at 165 and pretty quickly got down to 150, then stayed there for a solid year. I was showing the leader what I ate and everything. I felt like a failure for my inablility to reach Goal Weight nirvana, and got so frustrated I dropped out and gained it all back plus more. That's a lesson I learned the hard way - this time I'm enjoying be... Mon, 17 Aug 2015 07:24:36 EST sleep! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5979041 I think I'm really going to like this CPAP. I slept 7 hours last night and woke up feeling more rested than usual. I did wake up twice, but fell back asleep quickly without having to open a book or turn on the tv. This model is high-tech, it reports wirelessly to a website where I can go and view my report for the night. It says I had .4 incidents of apnea per hour, as opposed to the 24 per hour I tested at. It also rates you on the mask seal and if the mask came off. It sounds like a bit of ... Sun, 16 Aug 2015 16:29:54 EST Blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5978249 If I hadn't had to buy a ticket online beforehand I probably would have chickened out and not gone, but I'm glad I did. The opening act didn't show for some reason and we went straight to the headliner, and this guy put on a fantastic show. His name is Stacy Mitchhart, apparently he's the house band for a famous blues club in Nashville. I was afraid I'd stick out like a sore thumb but I didn't, I blended in. The crowd was more 40s and 50s than 60s, but it wasn't kids and it was dark. I didn't... Sat, 15 Aug 2015 07:58:38 EST interview http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977939 It was one of those interviews where they ask you a bunch of questions and then very neutrally inform you that they're going to be interviewing other applicants for several weeks. Impossible to tell if you went in the Maybe pile or if they're blowing you off. If I had to guess, I'd say they weren't interested. Still, good to get out there and get that first interview under my belt, think about how I'm going to present myself. <BR> <BR> Apparently I blew the question where they asked me, wh... Fri, 14 Aug 2015 15:14:10 EST Well that was awful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977738 My first night with the CPAP I fell asleep around 10:30, woke up around 1 am, and stayed up for the rest of the night. Finally slept from about 7 to 8:30 this morning, getting up too late to make my exercise class. <BR> <BR> I don't think it had anything to do with the CPAP. I just get on these insomnia jags sometimes that last a week or so. Will just have to ride it out. It was awful when I was working. I have the interview at 1:15, should be okay for that. Probably need another nap to stay... Fri, 14 Aug 2015 09:13:19 EST Got a bite! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977213 I have an interview tomorrow for a toddler teacher at a childcare center that sounds kind of cool - it's not a straight preschool but a flexible center where you can drop off your kids for whatever hours, days or times you need, and it sounds like they mostly need someone to play with the kids and read to them, which I love. <BR> <BR> Not the first choice on my list, but it feels good to get a response. Their ad doesn't make clear how many hours they want you to work, so that could be a sti... Thu, 13 Aug 2015 11:06:15 EST Sushi Wednesdays! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5976782 All the supermarkets around here have little sushi kiosks with people making it fresh, but it's a little expensive so I don't buy it very often - but I just discovered one market has Sushi Wednesdays where I can get a spicy tuna/avocado roll for five bucks. They're going to be seeing a lot of me! The occasional sushi dinner just makes my everyday diet seem so much less boring. <BR> <BR> Starting to have some panic on the job front. At first glance it looks like there's so many jobs out ther... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 18:14:27 EST job hunting in cyberspace http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975935 Boy, job hunting has really changed since the last time I did it, over a decade ago. You find the job openings online, go to the website, fill out information fields, upload your resume and cover letter, and poof, your application goes off into cyberspace. Often there is no point of contact given at all. You may get an automated email from a do-not-reply address, thanking you for your submission. <BR> <BR> This week I decided to apply to temp agencies. The last time I did this you called th... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 11:30:28 EST Peanutbutter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975870 About a month ago some women from my exercise class were discussing what foods they ate/didn't eat, and the instructor said she ate a lot of nuts. I chimed in that I've found a tablespoon of peanutbutter makes a great snack when I just need a little something. Several people including her said oh no, you shouldn't eat peanutbutter, it's a legume not a nut and it has molds in it that are bad for you. <BR> <BR> I googled it, and there apparently can be traces of something in there that's not ... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 10:21:39 EST I did it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975452 Well it's done, I called my lawyer and she's filing for divorce. She said it can still be settled out of court at any time in the process, so that's something to hope for. LIke if he gets a lawyer and my lawyer convinces his lawyer it's a losing proposition. I also asked her if they could keep my address off the documents because he kind of scared me after that last conversation. He's never lifted a finger to me or even seemed like it was possible, but I think he hates me now and is going to ... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 16:57:35 EST Sense of time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975244 Do any of you have trouble estimating how many years ago something happened? Like, my doctor wanted to know how long I'd had high blood pressure and I couldn't remember if it was four years or five years or eight years. How long have I had my car? Three, four, five years? I finally looked up the title. It's easier when your kids were at home and you can remember things by how old they were. <BR> <BR> Anyway, today in exercise class this woman was talking about going on a no-wheat/low carb di... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:51:39 EST bed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975140 I haven't committed to buying a bed since I moved here, been sleeping on the Ikea futon my daughter left behind in the livingroom. It just seemed like one more overwhelming hassle I wasn't ready to deal with. What would it cost, and what would it cost to ship? How would I move it if I found a cheaper place in October? <BR> <BR> But this week I have the dog for 10 days in the livingroom and the cat in the bedroom with the door kept shut between them, and the cat's getting the raw end of the ... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 08:52:03 EST facing the facts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5974607 It's not something I'm going to dwell on, but after yesterday's phone call it's really hitting me how far from 'normal' the person I've spent the last 16 years with is, and how I've not completely faced it. <BR> <BR> Dave has many good qualities - he's kindhearted to a fault, a hard worker, reliable, good in social situations (so polite!), and mild-tempered (though I saw a little different side yesterday). But he's also a person who has real difficulty navigating day-to-day life, just normal... Sun, 9 Aug 2015 10:15:19 EST not so good news on the husband http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5974172 How was I ever married to this person? (Oh, that's right, I still am.) <BR> <BR> After two weeks went by with no word on the separation agreement I gave him July 20, I called last week to see if he'd taken any action on having a lawyer review it. He had all these excuses - my knee hurts and I'm busy going to the chiropractor, I don't know which lawyer to call, my brother's out of town, it's going to cost money, and my favorite - "well you're the one who left." So, not sure how to deal with ... Sat, 8 Aug 2015 13:01:34 EST sleep http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5973109 So I went back for the results from the sleep doctor. She says I stopped breathing 24 times an hour which is only moderate sleep apnea. She said the real concern is that my oxygen levels went down from 100 to 80 percent due to the stoppages, and she said this increases the possibility of a stroke while sleeping. So count me in, I'll wear the stupid mask. <BR> <BR> I thought it was just a machine that pumps air, but apparently there's a smart component that the doctor's office can download an... Thu, 6 Aug 2015 11:24:49 EST rough night http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5972111 I had the eye injection about 5 pm yesterday, everything was fine, took Benny for a long walk as it was starting to get dark and came home and was so sweaty I had to shower but tried to keep the water off my face. But something I did in the evening - getting water in my eyes, sitting too close to the fan - something aggravated the sore eye. It felt like there was a little piece of grit stuck in it, which is a normal after-effect and they warn you not to rub it, but the problem was it kind of ... Tue, 4 Aug 2015 16:29:58 EST not so good news on the eye http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5971615 I went back for my second eye injection today and this time the doctor was not pleased, said the macular swelling is not going down as much as he'd hoped. Looks like the three shots over three months may not do the trick. <BR> <BR> But you know what, I'm still able to read, drive, etc. My only limitation is that I'm back to wearing a patch over one side of my glasses to read, which limits me outside of home. But I think I can fake my way through a job that requires some reading. So really,... Mon, 3 Aug 2015 20:08:56 EST Thinking back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970771 It occurred to me the other day that this is what I weighed in high school, 152. Only I had less muscle and I had a major eating disorder, alternating between days when I binged till my stomach hurt and days when I starved myself. There weren't really any normal days. <BR> <BR> It was only in my mid-20's that I found myself weighing 135 and stayed there till my late 30's. And I wasn't working at it. At this time in my life it was quite simple: I was running on the highs of romance and sex, ... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 12:00:48 EST Off to the races http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969181 I applied to two jobs this morning, editing my resume and cover letter to target each one. Took a few hours to get all organized, but now it should be easy to do more. <BR> <BR> Looks like it shouldn't be that hard to get a job in Columbus, but for now I'm just applying to ones I think would be satisfying in some way. One area that I'm sure of is working with children, so I applied as a part-time receptionist at a place that does children's speech therapy and specified that they wanted a wel... Thu, 30 Jul 2015 12:03:25 EST night out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968476 Just kidding, my big night out was sleeping in a little room with electrodes attached to my head. Back from the sleep study and it was easier than I thought to fall asleep. <BR> <BR> The technician was a very nice young man, I asked him how he landed in this job where you stay up all night watching people sleep. He said he graduated college with a degree in exercise physiotherapy or something like that and couldn't find work, so he just had to take anything in the medical field to start pay... Wed, 29 Jul 2015 08:26:07 EST Yep, looks like a plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5967834 Oh well, I knew it was going to happen. Just wanted to get into the 140's first, but it looks like I'm stalled around 152, even though I've stayed consistent with exercise schedule and calorie range for the last five days. Might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride. <BR> <BR> Nothing much new going on here. I go for the sleep study tonight, see my primary doctor tomorrow and ask her about carotid artery scan, my daughter called me to go out to dinner tomorrow night (yay!) and I haven't ... Tue, 28 Jul 2015 08:02:31 EST slowing down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5966317 Well, I knew this consistent, seemingly easy weight loss wouldn't last forever. I got to 151 and was so excited about getting into the 140's, wanted to do it before I see my primary doctor next Wednesday to impress her, but this week I've been fluctuating between 152 and 153. I know I'm weighing myself too often. I did have one day of serious overeating, on Monday when I returned from the lawyer's office, and I had one evening where I just felt very caged in and frustrated and started snackin... Sat, 25 Jul 2015 08:27:00 EST sleep study http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964472 So many things done from my list! I found a good lawyer and started the divorce! It's funny, the days go by slowly because I don't really have enough to do, but when I look at all I've accomplished in two months it's quite a bit. (I actually landed in Columbus on May 7, but I'm not counting the three weeks I spent dazed and paralyzed on my daughter's couch. As far as I'm concerned I started my life here on June 1.) <BR> <BR> So one more big thing left before I can start my job hunt with 100%... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 18:15:22 EST Not so bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963879 I'm back from Dayton, and today went a lot better than I expected. My lawyer, who seemed a little dismissive of me last time, was very nice this time, very sympathetic. I think it might have been the long email I sent her a few days ago. She had asked me to send her a list of money I'd spent on Dave but it turned into more of an essay. I communicate better in writing. <BR> <BR> Anyway we had a good discussion, and she said I'd filled in the affadavits completely enough and that they will be... Mon, 20 Jul 2015 16:43:12 EST the dog ate my homework http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963394 I did a really stupid thing. When I saw the lawyer last Monday, her paralegal gave me a handful of affadavits to fill out. I ignored them all week. I just didn't feel like dealing with them, I said I'll do them on the weekend, then on Saturday I said I'll do them Sunday, then today I got busy and ended up opening them this evening, when I was tired and done for the day. (I go back to the lawyer tomorrow directly after morning exercise class.) It turns out to be a LOT of stuff to fill out, whi... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 20:09:55 EST thoughts on weight loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5962627 As I approach the 140's, where I haven't been in 27 years and never expected to be again, I'm thinking about that long stretch between late 2010, when I joined this site at 174 and dropped down to 160 in four or five months, and now. <BR> <BR> I sat at 160 for four years, with occasional dips a few pounds up or down. Sometimes I felt a little silly to be on Spark and not losing anything, but I stayed because I knew I'd do worse without it. (And because I like the people!) I was tracking, I ... Sat, 18 Jul 2015 08:00:04 EST Best birthday ever http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5961597 My daughter posted this on Facebook last night: <BR> <BR> Happy 65th (?!!) birthday to my mom. Thank you for giving birth to me, raising me, letting me dye my hair purple and put various metals in my face, and sitting through all those amateur theatre productions during that phase when I thought I'd be a Broadway star even though I can't sing or dance. I love you. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f36a2a71-2e86-4075-9e14-11e1204660be.jpg"> <BR> That is a sushi boat.... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 08:07:31 EST lawyer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5960330 I feel pretty good about the lawyer. She's a young woman but seems to know her stuff, very sharp and seems like someone who likes to win. I'm sure I could have found someone who's more of a warm, reassuring handholder, but that's not my primary need here, though it would have been nice. <BR> <BR> She looked over our assets and debts and said it looked like a very simple dissolution, for which she charges a flat fee, but I explained to her that I'm afraid Dave will get talked into making it ... Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:07:06 EST Victory at the DMV!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958640 I passed the eye exam and got my license! The young man who gave me the test was so nice, he let me try over several times with my left eye until I finally got enough of the letters. This is such a huge relief!! <BR> <BR> Made myself a celebratory salad at the Kroger salad bar. Lots of lettuce and red pepper, a small portion of some sort of coleslaw concoction that also serves as my dressing, then decorated with crumbled bacon, blue cheese, sunflower seeds and pine nuts. What I love about th... Fri, 10 Jul 2015 13:53:44 EST seeing double http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958465 This overlapping vision is very weird, but the eye doc said I should try masking my left eye less - she said the fact that I've been keeping it covered a lot at home for six months might be another reason my eyes are not working well together. So I'm going without it. I thought I'd get a headache pretty quickly, as that's the reason I began masking in the first place, but so far so good. Didn't cover the eye at all yesterday, and did a lot of reading. <BR> <BR> The big plus about reading on... Fri, 10 Jul 2015 07:48:06 EST Employment for Seniors http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958194 Well, I had my "interview" with the "counselor". It was okay, but it's not much. I had an older guy who was pleasant enough, but he wasn't a counselor, he made it clear that his only function was to show me how to use their website (which was very, very simple). They have job listings you can search on the website, but it's not, as I was hoping, jobs from employers looking for seniors. It's just job listings they've gathered from employers who have stated that they will perhaps consider hirin... Thu, 9 Jul 2015 16:50:06 EST Good news from the eye doctor http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5957669 Since about five days after my eye injection I've been having some double vision or 'ghost image' where the vision from the two eyes seems to be overlapping a little - very distracting when I'm driving. My sister urged me to call the eye doctor and I decided she was right. So they saw me again today, and the scan they took shows my bad eye actually improving some, the swollen macular layer getting thinner. So this is very good news, it means I'm responding to this medicine. The doctor said he... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 18:17:23 EST things to take care of http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5957323 Realization: more than anything in life, I need things to take care of. Animals, plants, children. A spouse to cook for was nice. A home to keep up. This morning I've got a dog, a cat, two plants and an apartment to tend to. Not so bad. My daughter's out of town, but when she stopped by yesterday evening to drop off the dog I felt a certain satisfaction in my new role in her life - I'm no longer Mom who she makes a special formal visit to, I'm Mom 15 minutes down the street who she can come b... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 05:45:32 EST Early morning thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5956754 When my sister and her husband were here this weekend, I took them around to see the sights. They were the same ones that my daughter took us to see when Dave and I would come up to Columbus to visit - the old German Village with the rambling 32-room bookstore and amazing delicatessen, the outdoor cafes on Grandview, the beautiful botanical conservatory - and as I took them through these places, I couldn't help remembering being there with Dave and what a good time he had. Traveling with Dave... Tue, 7 Jul 2015 06:05:29 EST Appointments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5956511 Okay, so I'm seeing the lawyer next Monday and I'm seeing the senior employment place this Thursday. <BR> <BR> The woman I talked to on the phone at the senior employment place sounded beleaguered and gave me the feeling I was suspected of being a loser looking for a handout until proven innocent. I certainly hope she's not the "volunteer counselor" I'm supposed to meet with. Oh well, can't hurt to go in. <BR> <BR> Our workout this morning was killer! Marta, our instructor, really pushed ... Mon, 6 Jul 2015 17:17:33 EST will http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955926 Not to be morbid, but I did have my sister and brother-in-law sign my will as witnesses while they were here, and when I see the divorce lawyer I'm also going to do a living will and power of attorney. I had never gotten around to any of these things, it all seemed so far off. This past winter, when I first was thinking about leaving, I bought the will online through LegalZoom but hadn't bothered to sign it yet. <BR> <BR> Anyway, doing this got me thinking about how alone in the world Amy w... Sun, 5 Jul 2015 17:14:37 EST visit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955577 Well, my sister and her husband just left. We had a good two days, I took them around to see a lot of the sights and we had some good discussions about a number of things. They really liked my apartment - I was afraid they might find it shabby but they didn't seem to at all - and they loved my neighborhood. I showed them the website of the lawyer I had talked to and they thought I should just go ahead and do it, and they suggested that if Dave takes the separation agreement to a lawyer and as... Sat, 4 Jul 2015 21:42:41 EST