KDYLOSE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=KDYLOSE KDYLOSE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Low fat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6039150 A while back I was at my sister's for dinner and she, who watches her weight but has never really been overweight, served this very healthy dish involving shrimp and kale and proudly told me that she'd made it low fat by leaving out the olive oil. And my immediate reaction was to think, "why would you want to do that?" Then at Thanksgiving my sister in law, who's thin, confided in me that she's trying to cook low fat. And I realized, they think because I've lost weight that we're going to sit... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 18:13:05 EST This pic says it all http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6038098 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/0ff9c762-4021-45dc-be98-6e2ab0fced6b.jpg"> Thu, 26 Nov 2015 09:07:52 EST That scary number that we can't pass http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6034635 I'd been holding around 152 since July, and it was very upsetting this week when I saw 156 on the scale - and 157 at the doctor's office later in the day. My heart just sank, I felt panicked, and a little voice in me was going "oh no, all is lost." And I realized that in my mind, 155 is that 'safe' number that I can't go above. It's like you pass that number and the alarm bells start clanging and the sirens start shrieking ABANDON SHIP ABANDON SHIP. <BR> <BR> But a nice thought hit me this m... Thu, 19 Nov 2015 08:42:46 EST Tea http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6033123 If you read the message boards, from time to time someone will complain that they just can't stop snacking at night and someone else will tell them "I just have a cup of herbal tea instead." And I think oh right lady, if it's that simple not to overeat why are you even on this site? <BR> <BR> But I have discovered an instance where it does help. When I have a lot of sinus drainage and I take a nap, I wake up with this funny feeling in my stomach, it's kind of spinning, and in my groggy post... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:25:05 EST Miracle drug? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6031368 Well, I received an injection in my eye yesterday of some new drug that my new retinal specialist thinks is going to bring down the swelling and get rid of my double vision. This shot cost in the thousands of dollars but they got it preapproved by Medicare. I'm not convinced the doc is right, since my first four injections haven't done much, but I hope he is! <BR> <BR> My sister has been publicizing my new art site to lots of people and I've gotten some interesting responses. She's so much b... Fri, 13 Nov 2015 07:15:54 EST Yikes! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6027823 Just found a big box outside my door, my daughter sent me three pints of Jeni's ice cream packed in dry ice, this special wonderful ice cream they make in Columbus, as a housewarming gift. Salty caramel, pistachio honey and dark chocolate. Thank goodness it's frozen too solid to eat. I am taking it immediately to my sister's house, where they can eat it or put it in their basement freezer to keep for Thanksgiving. Guess my kid doesn't really get how borderline I am with the whole diabetic thi... Fri, 6 Nov 2015 15:19:40 EST Nuts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6026434 I've been trying to introduce more nuts into my diet as a snack because the doc said my good cholesterol was a little low, but after several bad experiences with portion control over the past month, and another bad one yesterday, I'm admitting defeat. I can't keep nuts in the house, except for pecan baking pieces that I sprinkle on salads. Will have to stick with tablespoons of peanutbutter. <BR> <BR> With a lot of other things involved in changing states out of the way now - new car insuran... Wed, 4 Nov 2015 06:41:32 EST taking stock http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6024522 So, I've been here a little over two weeks and I think I've made a pretty good start. <BR> <BR> I've always been a Type A person, impatient and in a hurry and wired and anxious. Especially impatient with myself, this voice inside telling me I need to do more and do it faster, telling me I'm not doing it right. At work I was always pushing myself to get things done faster even when nobody was in a hurry to get them, and always berating myself over any less-than-perfect interactions with peop... Sun, 1 Nov 2015 06:58:58 EST Climbed a mountain! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6023781 I've been kind of holed up inside, noticing when I did go out that it was beautiful but thinking oh I'll do something outside tomorrow. Then some heavy rains hit and I realized if I don't get out and enjoy the trees soon it's going to be over. Plenty of time to stay inside in the winter. So I got on Google maps to look for the nearest state park in the mountains, and discovered I'm only about a 15-minute ride from the Appalachian Trail, specifically from the part of the trail that goes to Ann... Fri, 30 Oct 2015 15:42:41 EST more adventures in lawyer-land http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6021987 So, when I last spoke with my lawyer about two weeks ago, it had been almost 28 days since the court should have sent my divorce complaint by certified mail to my husband. Once the 28 days are up, they're supposed to contact my lawyer to set a preliminary hearing. I asked my lawyer on the phone, can you check with the county and make sure that he received the mail and that they received the green stub back? <BR> <BR> Not necessary, said my lawyer. The county notifies me if the complaint isn'... Tue, 27 Oct 2015 09:57:06 EST the one thing I miss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6021312 The one thing I find myself missing is my yard. My house in Piqua wasn't much, but the yard was pretty special and now that I don't have one I'm appreciating it more. It was very private. We were on the edge of the 80-acre family farm, so our backyard stretched out to a meadow and beyond that the farm fields. On either side were relatives with lots of trees around their houses. For years, the only people who could see me in my backyard were two old widowed aunts in their 80's, so I could wand... Mon, 26 Oct 2015 07:37:31 EST staying the same http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6020718 I've been all over the map lately in weight-loss efforts, and for some reason I just had to give it one more try eating only the "unlimited" Wheatbelly foods - protein, nuts, good fats and vegetables - without counting calories. Results? I'm up two pounds this morning. All these people claim to have had the weight just fall off them when they eat this way, but clearly it's not going to work for me. <BR> <BR> But I was thinking this morning - I didn't start Wheatbelly to lose weight. I starte... Sun, 25 Oct 2015 07:11:38 EST art shows http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6018598 I was already planning to enter the Washington County Arts Council show, which has a Nov. 3 deadline for entries, and now I found out the museum here is taking entries for the 2016 Cumberland Valley Artists show by Nov. 1, so I have my immediate work cut out for me - I have to frame the paintings I'm entering and get good digital photos of them to submit. (I've made very simple frames before, it doesn't have to be anything fancy.) For the county show the works have to be for sale, but for the... Wed, 21 Oct 2015 07:33:41 EST Over the mountains http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6016363 Let's see... our trip over the mountains couldn't have been more beautiful. It was the perfect, sunny, crisp fall day and the trees were magnificent. I cheered as we entered West Virginia, leaving Ohio behind forever. The loading up went smoothly, everything fit in the u-haul trailer and when we reached here at nightfall my strong young nephew came to help unload. I told him "this sure goes a lot faster when one of us is under 60." <BR> <BR> Even though I was careful to pack everything in sm... Sat, 17 Oct 2015 05:50:46 EST last day in Ohio http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6014770 I'll be taking my modem and stuff back to Time Warner today, so I'm going to be MIA from cyberspace for a few days. Don't know how long it will take to get hooked up in my new place - could be next week. <BR> <BR> It's going to be a shock being disconnected - I've been spending so much time reading things online, and my evenings have been centered around the tv. Well, I have a couple of books I've been meaning to get around to, so now's the time. <BR> <BR> Have had final appointments with... Wed, 14 Oct 2015 07:50:35 EST alternate day fast http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6013075 I did one successful day Thursday of 500 calories at midday and then nothing until the next morning. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Ate normally Friday and was going to do the fast again yesterday, but daughter was coming over and I wasn't sure if we were going out to eat, and it was one of those days where I was ravenously hungry, and I just opted out. I've decided maybe now's a little too chaotic to try anything like this, but once I get settled into my new home I might try it ... Sun, 11 Oct 2015 09:27:14 EST more musings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6012517 Twenty-four years ago, I took my 18-month-old daughter and left my home in the suburbs of Washington D.C.. I was hiding the baby from my first husband, a violent alcoholic. I moved in temporarily to an apartment in Hagerstown owned by my sister and brother-in-law. I stayed there about six months and then loaded up my car and drove out to Dayton, Ohio, where it looked like I could get work with the same defense contractor I'd been doing technical graphics for in DC, and where my aunt and uncle... Sat, 10 Oct 2015 07:27:21 EST what I've been doing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6011778 When I upload photos to Spark they get darker and yellower. Don't usually notice, but with paintings I sure do. Had to adjust these in my photo program to get them anything close to their actual colors, now they're kind of overlightened. I kind of hate the sunflowers but it's nice to see that I've completed three things. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/98417903-866c-40b0-b5dc-24bce9207ce2.jpg"> <BR> Thu, 8 Oct 2015 18:54:05 EST leaving http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6011539 Been doing a lot of musing as my five-month sojourn in Columbus draws to a close. Taking a lot of evening strolls around this lovely neighborhood, soaking in the smells and coolness and mysterious feel of autumn nights, feeling a little sad, kind of envying the people who are living their settled lives here in these cute old houses. It’s somewhere I would like to have lived, but I’m just a visitor. Still, I am glad for the visit. <BR> <BR> It’s been a place of metamorphosis for me, t... Thu, 8 Oct 2015 09:56:20 EST plateau bust fail http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6011452 Well, my nine days of extreme Wheatbelly did not bust my plateau, not even a pound. Very disappointed, though I think it did me good in terms of energy level and reining my carbs back in. I'm going to return to my normal diet, adding back in some fruit, legumes and dairy. But I need to do something radical here, because the longer I stay stuck at this weight the more I lose my motivation and the more bad days I have where I overeat. I'm getting into a cycle I don't like, feeling a loss of con... Thu, 8 Oct 2015 07:35:19 EST new day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6010841 Well thanks for slogging through that long blog. I'm having this issue on my laptop where I'm typing away and my hand is hitting some key that makes the whole window disappear. Think I probably wrote it better the first time. <BR> <BR> My lawyer just called, yay!!! I can stop checking my phone every time I leave the room!!! She said the court will be contacting her any day with a preliminary hearing date and swears she will contact me as soon as that happens. I don't have to be there for tha... Wed, 7 Oct 2015 07:38:01 EST Was I an idiot? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6010582 Was I an idiot to pick a divorce lawyer off the internet? I just wrote a long blog explaining the whole story and then my finger slipped on the wrong key and it disappeared. Arrrg let me try again. <BR> <BR> After we decided on August 10 to file for divorce, I began checking my mailbox every day for my copy of the divorce complaint. After a week and a half of nothing, I called the little 22-year-old paralegal who said "oh, I think I had the last digit of your phone number wrong, we need you ... Tue, 6 Oct 2015 20:08:05 EST painting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6009573 When I was in my sister’s and brother’s houses on my recent trip, practically every room I walked into I was confronted by one of my paintings on the wall. And I was kind of startled and taken aback by how confident my earlier work seemed, the sense of a painter who knew what she was doing and was taking great enjoyment in the application of paint to canvas. I was like, “Did I do that? I forgot.” <BR> <BR> It made me kind of sad at the time, but it has turned out to be a good thing. ... Mon, 5 Oct 2015 08:07:26 EST No more sock on my glasses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6008773 Yes, I've been using the cut-off toe of a stretchy black terrycloth sock to cover the left side of my glasses when I'm at home since last winter. It slides off and on easily, looks pretty awful but it enables me to read without the overlapping "ghost" vision I have from the distortion and swelling in my left eye. But this week I'm so happy because I've found a much, much better alternative! <BR> <BR> I was in to get my monthly eye injection on Monday and I once again asked the doctor, isn't... Sat, 3 Oct 2015 20:58:48 EST WheatBelly journal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6008021 This is just for myself, to keep track of my little temporary jumpstart diet. <BR> <BR> Week One (of possible two) of extreme starter WheatBelly. <BR> Eating only “unlimited” foods: <BR> Meat, poultry, fish, eggs, nuts, veggies, certain fats. <BR> Temporarily eliminating “limited” foods: <BR> Dairy, beans, rice, potatoes, fruit <BR> <BR> Today is Day Five. Days One and Two, had an insane craving for sweet peppers. Bought a big bag of the small mixed red, yellow and orange ones. Ate ... Fri, 2 Oct 2015 12:15:22 EST arrgh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6005391 Looks like I'm just having one of those weeks where I can't sleep. Last night woke up at 11:45, 3 am and 5:30, staying up each time. At least it didn't happen while I was visiting Hagerstown, I'm grateful for that. <BR> <BR> Since I have this defined two-and-a-half-week period of being in limbo, and since I've been stuck on a plateau for two months and am having more bad eating days as a result, I made a decision yesterday. I decided to do a temporary strict diet during this time. I went bac... Mon, 28 Sep 2015 08:22:02 EST sleep vs food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6004822 Had a really stupid day yesterday. Woke up at 5 after a restless, interrupted sleep, went to the farmer's market as soon as it opened at 9, ran some errands, then came home and was not up to par, felt like I needed to take a little nap before I was ready to be functional. But instead of doing that, I kept thinking of one more thing I needed to do first - I was making soup, fiddling with this and that, and before I knew it the whole day had gotten away from me and I hadn't taken a nap or accom... Sun, 27 Sep 2015 08:58:16 EST quiet times http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6003993 Not much to say since I got back. It's a time of laying low and waiting, and I must say I'm kind of liking it. I'm not berating myself with things I should be doing, or worrying about what comes next. I'm just enjoying the last weeks of my stay in this lovely neighborhood, soaking up the fall weather, and every day I'm going to my exercise class and trying to finish those paintings and start some new ones. Have a few doctor appointments to wind up this week and some move-out cleaning to do, a... Fri, 25 Sep 2015 16:19:51 EST meanwhile, back in Columbus http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6001687 Elliott and I arrived home this afternoon. My BIL is coming with his pickup to help me move but he's not sure when yet, either in two weeks or three. While I was in Hagerstown I found out about several local arts organizations that are having shows in December, which have November deadlines for entries, so my plan is to spend the rest of my time in Columbus trying to crank out some small still lifes to enter in shows. <BR> <BR> It was a very good week, and I'm looking forward to the move. K... Mon, 21 Sep 2015 20:57:29 EST things past http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6000066 I'm driving into Washington DC today to visit my brother and I also just feel like spending some time visiting old haunts - the part of town I used to live in, maybe even out to the suburb where I grew up. The other night my sister and I had dinner with the girl who grew up next door to us in that suburb, who I last saw when she was about 15 but who has kept up with my sister. Missy joined the Army and became a pediatrician and had four kids that she ended up raising alone, she lives in Seatt... Sat, 19 Sep 2015 05:44:05 EST Good morning from Maryland! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5999009 A crisp mountain fall morning, I'm loving it. Things are going ridiculously smoothly here. One of my sister and brother-in-law's rental apartments has opened up and they've invited me to rent it for as long or short a stay as I want. We're all going on the assumption that I'll be moving again at some point down the line once I get settled in and know the area better - it's a fine apartment for what it is and very reasonable, and BIL keeps everything in great shape, but it's kind of small and ... Thu, 17 Sep 2015 08:13:22 EST reflecting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5997039 Just sitting here this morning, waiting for the sun to rise so I can take Benny for his walk, and thinking back to how it felt only a few months ago. It was early June, Amy had just moved out and I was sitting here on this futon in an empty room, looking at the few cardboard boxes of stuff I'd brought from Piqua, and I remember thinking "this is it, this is all I have to show for my life, after all these years just me sitting here alone with these boxes," and feeling pretty awful, feeling th... Mon, 14 Sep 2015 06:37:46 EST It's done http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5996560 I've rented a car for a week. It turned out that anything over four days they were going to charge me the weekly rate anyway, so that was an easy decision. And if I feel I'm staying too long at their house, I can take a side trip to DC and visit my old haunts, something I probably wouldn't have been comfortable doing in my own car. (My sister's expecting me to stay at least a week if not more, but I can get uncomfortable as a guest.) And I can walk to this rental place so that makes it real s... Sun, 13 Sep 2015 10:56:48 EST dog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5994211 Some people moved in the overhead apartment this weekend and today there is a dog up there who has been crying continuously since I woke up at 6. It's now mid-afternoon. It's the saddest thing I've ever heard. I'm hoping maybe it's just because of the move, like suddenly he's alone in a new place and maybe he thinks he's been abandoned. <BR> <BR> Benny, on the other hand, was treated to a long excursion at a park along the river this morning. He was delighted, rolling on his back in the gra... Wed, 9 Sep 2015 14:49:16 EST vapor leak http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5993368 The nice kid at Advance Auto Parts ran the diagnostic, he said it's showing the code for vapor emission leaks but isn't specific. He said it could be vapor escaping from the gas cap "or about 20 other things." I asked him if any of those things would make my car stop running and he said absolutely not, my engine and transmission are fine, he sees no reason not to take it on a road trip. I googled this issue and other people confirm that it doesn't affect the operation of the car. Still, makes... Tue, 8 Sep 2015 11:24:18 EST Speaking of the devil... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5993258 Got in my car yesterday morning and the Check Engine light was on. Going to take it to the auto parts store today and have them run the onboard diagnostics. I know sometimes this can be something very minor. <BR> <BR> Sort of makes me feel more like renting a car. I do have AAA with the 100-mile tow, but the thought of breaking down somewhere between here and Hagerstown, over five hours away, just feels like one more thing I don't want to deal with right now. <BR> <BR> Last Sept. when we t... Tue, 8 Sep 2015 08:29:12 EST heat wave http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5992301 Nothing exciting this weekend because I'm holed up with my little window air conditioner trying to survive this ridiculous heat wave. Supposed to end Wednesday. Benny arrived today to stay for 10 days, so once it cools off we'll be taking some excursions. For now he has to settle for quick jaunts around the neighborhood. <BR> <BR> I finished one painting, halfway through another, kind of frustrated at how slow it's moving and how little energy I have for it. But at least I'm producing somet... Sun, 6 Sep 2015 20:54:47 EST paintings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5991055 I have two still lifes underway that I'm very pleased with. I also started a painting diary where I'm writing about the process. <BR> <BR> Mostly I'm writing about strategies for adjusting to the fact that I have a lower energy level now and can't just buckle down for four hours and emerge with a painting. My best work has always been done in intense, concentrated bursts, not in a slow-and-steady manner like some people I've painted with. I get in a zone and it comes out. These days I'll go ... Fri, 4 Sep 2015 17:11:26 EST Too far? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5989419 I think I crossed over a line when I shared in my blog of August 28 that on one day about a week earlier I had experienced suicidal thoughts. To me, what made this worth mentioning was how completely out of character it was for me. But you all have no way of knowing that. You've gotten to know me a little bit, but you don't really know me, you don't know just how abnormal, how completely bizarre it was for me to have those thoughts. I imagine you kind of drawing back and thinking "Hey, I join... Wed, 2 Sep 2015 08:32:00 EST Good news http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5989094 Got my results from the carotid artery ultrasound today, I have some plaque but my doctor said it's a completely normal amount and what she expects to see in people my age. So I'm going to stop worrying about having a stroke. <BR> <BR> There was a study making the rounds in the news the other day where someone determined that people who are more neurotic also tend to be more creative, or was it the other way around, anyway it got me to thinking. I started noticing how many times in a day I ... Tue, 1 Sep 2015 20:59:47 EST Kokopelli http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5988565 I started a still life with a copper Kokopelli figure that I picked up at the Goodwill a few months ago, he's playing to some of my plants under a window. Also decided I want to do one of a vase of sunflowers - I think I can do something that doesn't look derivative of the Van Gogh sunflowers that I have hanging on my wall. <BR> <BR> Went for my third eye injection yesterday and told the doctor I'm moving in October, I said I could drive to either Baltimore or Washington to continue treatme... Tue, 1 Sep 2015 06:40:50 EST Oliver Sacks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5987614 Oliver Sacks was one of my favorite people in the world. He died this weekend in his 80's. If you don't know much about him, google him. He had the most amazing life. Scientist, writer, incredible humanist, still swimming a mile a day in his old age, with the kindest, most intelligent face. I always had a bit of a crush on him but just found out from his obits that he was gay. <BR> <BR> Here's a great article I just found. <BR> <BR> <link>www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking<BR>-of-scienc... Sun, 30 Aug 2015 19:58:21 EST follow-up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986706 I want to stress that the event I mentioned in my last blog, the emotional plunge I went through last Thurs, Fri and Sat, was a one-time aberration and not something I expect to ever happen again. It was a wake-up call and I think I've addressed it in a good way. <BR> <BR> I was thinking, I guess Vicki is right that maybe I underestimated the scope of all the changes I was making in my life and how long it would take to absorb. I expect myself to be this plucky, can-do type, but it doesn't c... Sat, 29 Aug 2015 07:35:05 EST identity http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986181 I was hit by a sudden bit of insight this morning about what I've been experiencing since leaving Piqua. I saw that in a way I've been shedding pieces of my identity. <BR> <BR> When I came here I left behind, by choice, my identity as a married woman with a house and daily/seasonal routines and responsibilities, as well as my identity as a member of a small town. (As much as I disdained that town in some ways, I was a member and was known by people, both from my stints on local newspapers an... Fri, 28 Aug 2015 07:55:48 EST starving in America http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985716 I just have to comment on this, and I restrained myself from doing it on the message board as I didn't want to start World War III. Somebody started a thread asking for ideas on cheap healthy foods because they're on a tight budget. They included this line about how bored they are with their current foods: <BR> <BR> "If I have to eat pork chops with green beans one more time I am just going to starve!" <BR> <BR> I just couldn't help but think of how many people, both in this country and aro... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 10:55:09 EST A plan? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984379 I'm a little under the weather today and yesterday. This seems to happen to me every year as summer starts turning to fall, which really pisses me off because I love the fall weather so much and want to get out in it, and then I get sick. But it should pass by tomorrow or next day. <BR> <BR> I suppose I could also have had a little immune-system dip from my emotional tailspin there. I was not in a good way. <BR> <BR> I googled "volunteer Columbus" yesterday and was amazed at all the links ... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 09:00:49 EST borrowed dog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983259 Amy and I were supposed to go for a hike with Benny today, but she wasn't feeling well. So there I was sitting home, needing to go out. I've done lots and lots of walking around this neighborhood by myself and it's beginning to wear thin and seem a little depressing. Thought about driving to a metropark and hiking but I just didn't feel like doing that alone either. So then I had a thought - I called Amy and asked if I could borrow Benny. We drove to the metropark and hiked all over the woods... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 15:35:36 EST junk food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983024 During my little tailspin there I had two days where I ate a lot of sugar, which I don't usually go near. It was a real eye-opener. I felt so crummy, and I have a feeling it didn't help with my mood swings either. Ate really clean yesterday and I feel better already. How did I used to live like that? <BR> <BR> My life here is making more sense this morning, looking on it as just a transitional stay, a stopover. Hopefully I'm not just delaying dealing with issues by pushing them back a couple... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 07:56:44 EST Hagerstown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982618 I talked to my sister and she's enthusiastic about my coming. She suggested I come out and stay with them for a week, take a look around. They're going on vacation the first two weeks of September, so after that I'll go out there. <BR> <BR> Looked at as a transitional step, Columbus has been a good thing. First off, it was close enough that I could just pack up my car and leave Dave on the spur of the moment, which is the only way I think I was able to extricate myself from that situation. A... Sat, 22 Aug 2015 11:55:43 EST better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982296 Thank you so much for your comments. I'm feeling calmer now. After I wrote that last blog I went to Friday evening services at temple, and during the silent prayer I just kept praying "please help me". Then the rabbi was talking in his sermon about how when we don't have hope we need to dig deep in our pockets and find some. He was also talking about our duty to bring justice to the world, which is a big theme in Reform Judaism, and it got me thinking about the suggestions I'd been given on h... Fri, 21 Aug 2015 21:29:38 EST