KBEERY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=KBEERY KBEERY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Life goes on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3140789 So much has happened in the past months and I haven't had the time to even think about blogging, but here I am and I want to pour out my heart to see what is going on with me. <BR> <BR> So I had a great job and was a temp to hire, but they laid me off. I'm still on Cobra Insurance and I don't have enough money to be paying my regular bills. I'm on food stamps again, and luckily my boyfriend has always been willing to take care of me when I need it, but it makes me feel like crap not being ... Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:36:18 EST So life is experiencing dramatic changes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2851811 So besides the fact that my kitty has FIV my boyfriend is moving to Houston TX for a job promotion. With my MS I don't know if I can handle the heat and the job that I just got is wonderful and I am doing my best at trying to adjust my financial situation so that I am more stable. <BR> <BR> HIm moving means that I will have to find a new place to live that will allow cats. For 3 days all I did was cry. . . .We will still be together, just long distance. I don't really like the idea but I... Sun, 7 Feb 2010 11:37:10 EST So my kitty bear Blackie was taken to the vet, . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2832190 essentially becaue he has worms. He got a full check up and the vet told me he has FIV. Feline Immundeficency Virus, pretty much what they call Kitty AIDS. I was so shocked that I started crying in the waiting room. <BR> <BR> This cat brings so much comfort and joy to my life and he is sick. He and I are at both ends of the spectrum. :( I love him so much and I guess that is all that I can do for him is love him. Tue, 2 Feb 2010 18:58:08 EST Have been gone for way too long! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2788435 After getting a full-time job, the things that I love so much have faded to the background except my boyfriend and kitty. Lost track of how long I'd been gone from sparkpeople and had to sadly step down from co-facilitating my MS support group :( I really miss the friends I made there. <BR> <BR> So I'm here awake way to early this sunday morning and decided to spend some time back on. These are my goals: <BR> <BR> 1. get at least 30 mins of cardio 4 times a week <BR> 2. get at least 30 mi... Sun, 24 Jan 2010 08:22:33 EST lovin my job! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2548451 so I finally got a job and it is so perfect for my condition and what I can do with my degree in the future. HOORAY! Mon, 9 Nov 2009 21:14:17 EST um, can i get back on the wagon please! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2543915 So I fell off my healthy routine wagon. For the past days that I have not come to SP daily I've been eating way too much crappy food. Not exercising, nor drinking enough water. I don't know what caused this surge but it has happened and am not proud of it. <BR> <BR> However, my food stamp card gets money on it today and so I'm doing an intensive healthy food stock up in my kitchen. I think that b/c I haven't had any money to do any of that shopping was why I was eating too many carbs a... Sun, 8 Nov 2009 11:00:45 EST Dieing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2520224 So last night my mother informed me that our Aunt Elsie had passed away and her funeral is this morning. She had cancer from smoking, . . . I remember vaguely being around her when I was younger but thats really all. <BR> <BR> Its so sad that people pass through this life and on to the next, but as it said in my grandma and grandpa's funeral programs "You can Miss me but let me go". This is profoundly awakening to me. I know that all of my family members who have passed are in a better ... Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:44:07 EST Feelin better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2517501 After having a talk with my dad and needing to get a motivational kick in the pants, I'm feeling much better and back on my positive optimistic POV! Yay, I don't ever like being a downer. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:10:41 EST Balloon popped! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2515423 So last night I had a emotional break down, . . . I feel so lost in my place in this world. I don't have a job (and I've been applying for 5-10 jobs a day), my grandparents passed away, I'm stuck in a plateau, No income right now (so boyfriend is kind enough to support me), I have multiple sclerosis, and I am trying to rekindle my apparel design passion. <BR> <BR> I tend to internalize a lot of the feelings regarding problems going on in my life and last night my emotional balloon popped! A... Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:31:31 EST Hooray! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2512548 So after losing my job in Sept I finally got a phone interview at one of the old places I worked at for 3 years. I don't really want to go back but I need the income to survive. So I'm suckin it up and trying to get back in! <BR> <BR> Wish me luck! Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:05:31 EST okay so feeling weird http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2509358 So my ex-boyfriend just told me that he has found the one for him and is planning on proposing to his girlfriend. . . . I don't want to be with him but it does make me feel a little weird. <BR> <BR> All in all though I am happy for him <em>30</em> Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:07:50 EST I think, . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2505384 that I just over think things to the point of exhaustion. Sat, 24 Oct 2009 21:29:38 EST Strange dreams, . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2502305 So lately I have been having strange dreams. I can not remember all of them but the one that I had this morning was so weird. It all started with myself and a family in a hotel and majority of them were watching, . . . "something" on TV and I was sitting off in the back on one of the beds moping about something. <BR> <BR> Then there was this strange feeling that something bad was going to happen and it did, . . . . but I'm not sure of what it was. All I remember is that we had to evacuate... Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:50:01 EST Going to try, . . . (continuation to blog post HOORAY!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2499619 to do a little jogging. This used to not be a problem for me, but ever since the MS diagnosis I've been afraid of overdoing it. However, since my success at an 8 mile hike I think I'll go ahead and try the jog. <BR> <BR> With the encouragement and support of my loving boyfriend, last year I did a 5K and an 8K. My goal is to be able to do those again. So wish me luck and I'm sure I'll post a blog with the results of doing to jog. Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:41:21 EST Hooray! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2490968 So ever since I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and well even before that b/c of relapses, I was very hesitant to do any exercise other than just walking to the grocery store. So when my boyfriend asked me yesterday if I wanted to go on a hike that should be fairly easy I was happy to respond with a "YES". <BR> <BR> Now I am normally a very active person and although all the doctors say "stay active" but "limit your activity so as to not exacerbate your legions". Now this is sort ... Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:35:27 EST Reading http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2484468 Whilst sitting at my receptionist job I was happy to get the chance to get in some reading. I am happy to say that I finally finished "The Wind-up Bird Chronicles" which has taken me forever to finish b/c of lack of time and energy, and am able to also pick back up from where I've read into the 4 other books beckoning me. <BR> <BR> To take a break from "Einstein's Dreams" today, I picked up the Women's Health magazine at the office. I read some very interesting articles about the fruits an... Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:24:05 EST Infusion http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2463739 Had another steroid infusion at the hospital infusion center. It wasn't too bad but was way too long to get stuck by a needle. I guess I was being inpatient in my mind and probably showed through but was trying to just breath and remember that I didn't have anywhere else that I had to be so , . . . . just relax and be compassionate. People are people and they all have their own personal issues or work issues going on so my mantra was "remember that we are all in the same boat and don't let... Thu, 8 Oct 2009 17:17:27 EST The long way to today, . . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2460369 first I was going through "relapses" when I didn't even know, then was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerorsis, then there was issues with my MS specialist, therefore I was finding a new one, then there was adverse side affects from my Interferon Rebif medication and steroid treatment, my grandma passed away, then more crap at work, then my grandpa passed away, filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy, had to move into a more MS friendly apartment, then fired from work, . . . . . <BR> <BR> The list seems ... Wed, 7 Oct 2009 13:59:09 EST Feeling like I'm losing it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2330652 So I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past 10 days ever since my interferon dosage increase from 8.8 mcg to 22 mcg. I am bursting in emotional crying spells, feeling numb, feeling angry, feeling lost, feeling like it'd be better to just be dead. . . . <BR> <BR> and I know that it has to be the treatment that I am on for my MS but it's just so darn frustrating!!! To top it all off, I got a written warning at work today for not meeting one of the 4 metric expectations. I am ... Thu, 20 Aug 2009 03:34:12 EST On thing at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2322722 So I have this really long list of things that I need to do. I am all about follow through but sometimes don't take the time to slow down. This is a goal for me, . . . take it one day at a time and one thing at a time with my to do list. <BR> <BR> Mon, 17 Aug 2009 12:52:11 EST Home again, . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2320196 So camping was great! If you've never been to Lake Billy Chinook in Oregon I suggest going, its beautiful! <BR> <BR> Went inner-tubing and definitely feeling the soreness in every part of my body. Was worth it though <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> So yesterday I got stuck in an elevator that stopped working in between the 1st floor and 2nd floor. Was not fun at all! Definitely made a fun last couple of days not so fun. There were 9 of us in the elevator with very little space to move around. ... Sun, 16 Aug 2009 15:04:37 EST Going camping for 3 days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2311487 I am so excited to finally be able to go camping this week for three days. I grew up camping all the time and being outdoors. This will be a nice treat and fun for my boyfriend and I. <em>41</em> Thu, 13 Aug 2009 02:51:52 EST Rebif http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2280913 So two days ago I administered my first shot of Rebif. I did not have any bad reactions but the symptoms of Rebif definitely started kicking in later that evening around 11pm or so. <BR> <BR> Sore muscles, migraine, nausea, fatigue, etc. So today am feeling a bit better however have to give myself the shot again tomorrow. Hope everything goes okay in my very hot apt. The warm temperature has been causing me to have more spasticity than normal, but I guess that is all part of multiple s... Sun, 2 Aug 2009 17:00:09 EST Hot Hot Hot! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2271593 So it has been way to hot for me to handle in Portland Oregon. Especially with my MS. My apt is on the 3rd floor of an old historical house and even though we have an air conditioner unit it seems to just be blowing hot air around. I really miss the rain and 62 degree weather that Portland is well known for. <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> Thu, 30 Jul 2009 02:52:57 EST Kitty-sitting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2255695 So I love animals, and unfortunately my boyfriend and I do not have a large enough place to have even a kitty. We live in a studio; so we jump at every chance to vicariously live though our friends who have pets, and go to the Pet Smart quite a bit to visit the animals up for adoption. <BR> <BR> Anyhow this weekend we will be kitty-sitting and I am very excited! The kitty's names are Stinky and Zeplin. :D <BR> Fri, 24 Jul 2009 10:07:39 EST conversations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2230017 it has been absolutely wonderful meeting people who can have an intellectual and intriguing conversation about religion, politics, health, culture and not have anyone push their ideals/opinions on you. Its good to have the variety in our world, that's what makes each of us unique. Wed, 15 Jul 2009 03:14:12 EST Bad day bear, . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2222406 So yesterday at one point I had an emotional crash of sorts, then felt angry, then sad, then my love bear Stephen cheer'd me up. Its amazing how he is the only one that can do that. I am just so worried about the possible mood swings and I'm not normally that way and don't want to hurt anyone with my crazy upswings and downswings in mood. Sun, 12 Jul 2009 12:50:56 EST Lord Save Us From Your Followers, . . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2215235 So yesterday I decided to pick up this book called "Lord Save Us From Your Followers". It is written by Dan Merchant and can be located in the Christianity section at book stores. <BR> <BR> I was first introduced to this man's book by hearing him speak on NPR. So far it has been truly interesting. It looks at "culture wars" and why they are occurring and dividing people, rather than bringing people to understanding, compassion and love. <BR> <BR> Dan Merchant is a Christian and I tru... Thu, 9 Jul 2009 11:30:36 EST One day at a time,. . . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2206715 Is how life is going to be approached from now on. Its just sort of sad that it took a diagnosis of a life long disease that doesn't have a cure to show me the light. Therefore I have re prioritized my life and and learning to not sweat the small stuff. Mon, 6 Jul 2009 13:31:41 EST