JUSTYNA7's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JUSTYNA7 JUSTYNA7's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I Matter List came to the rescue http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6331684 I am so thankful for my "I Matter" list on my fridge. I woke up in such a terrible state that I went back to bed and refused to get out. DH was saying all the right things but I still was "stuck". Until I managed to get out of bed and find my list. It had gotten moved to the side of the fridge so I put it out front ... and then one by one started doing the things on the list and say to myself out loud "because I Matter.... I am taking my meds on time" which meant going to my room and organizi... Sun, 12 Mar 2017 08:16:10 EST Planning a day.... mindfully http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6330229 1. Failing to plan is planning to fail. <BR> Food: Thankful Thursday focus on colour and gratefulness for where the food comes from <BR> egg with feta and spinach in a whole wheat wrap, coffee <BR> grapes and broccoli salad <BR> pea snap snacks <BR> vegan Shepard's pie and sweet kale salad <BR> <BR> Exercise: 15 minute walk around the block, 15 minutes of laps in the pool, 15 minutes of yoga stretches <BR> <BR> 2. Me time. Well, it is pretty much a me day today. I started the day wi... Thu, 9 Mar 2017 10:26:27 EST To be alone... or be around others.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6323914 Interesting meditation theme this morning. When you are sad or in a bad mood do you isolate yourself? The reading talked about when we are vulnerable we tend to hide away, sit by ourselves and .... for me, I eat. The challenge was to see it differently. If we think that people won't love us as much when we are sad or want to be quiet perhaps that is not true. They probably will love us just as much. Maybe the "trick" is being able to say it and feel it and be allowed to feel those feeli... Thu, 2 Mar 2017 11:29:47 EST Enough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6322824 We have weird things happening... like the river is already flooding, there are geese overhead, DH actually went up on the roof to fix a hold and realized those dratted racoons have figured out how to get in around the one way door. Argh! It is amazing that DH was on the roof though. I had my heart in my mouth watching him slither past some icy patches but for the most part it was dry and safe. I expect we will need a new roof this year. I won't think about it right now or until we know ... Tue, 28 Feb 2017 11:22:11 EST Do it my way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6318449 Update: my pain is finally gone... or at least I have been pain free since I went off the old meds that I suspected might be causing it! Of course it could be that the new meds are already working but the pamphlet says they take a while to really start working. Anyways, I have nausea and am sleeping but as well as no pain, also my appetite is curbed. That is a first. I only want to eat when I'm hungry. Hmm. Could be the reaction to not having pain... or sitting for an hour in the sun l... Sun, 19 Feb 2017 17:31:25 EST A ranting vent and some hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6316520 It is very hard for me to talk to doctors. I try and prepare ahead but I see things globally/holistically and see how one thing can affect another thing. These days doctors want you to go in with tunnel vision and describe one symptom only. Sigh. So I try but my mind turns the symptoms around in my head looking for connections. I have had pain under my ribs for some time now. It is not consistently in one place... sometimes on one side and sometimes on the other and sometimes higher or ... Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:59:02 EST Vegan eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6315968 I am doing the 30 SP Fiber challenge which has been great... and now have a guest here for a month who is vegan... so I have been finding new recipes. <BR> <BR> First, a powerhouse chia doughnut made from oat flour and chia seeds and coconut milk- more like a muffin than a doughnut but tasty. <BR> Then a new super bread made again from oat flour and chia seeds with savory spices, pumpkin and sunflower seeds. Super easy to make and a chewy delicious flavour. <BR> I made hummus from scrat... Tue, 14 Feb 2017 11:26:41 EST Walk ONE mile! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6314403 Morning all! <BR> <BR> I was up early to walk the grand puppy who is staying the weekend with us and decided despite it being -17 to walk the mile to the train tracks and back. <BR> <BR> A few years ago I was on a challenge and the very first thing it asked us to do was walk one mile. It was before I had a spark tracker and honestly I had no idea how far a mile was. So... I opened my spark page to the on line maps and played around until I found a "marker" I could walk to and back and k... Sat, 11 Feb 2017 10:44:30 EST Fund Raising Idea that encourages being fit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6313389 I laughed, smiled and giggled seeing all the "Yeah Justyna's" yesterday in response to my blog. Ah... life is good. <BR> <BR> I so love my kids and DH. I mentioned yesterday that I have decided to do a fund raiser here in May, at the B&B, to raise money for a later event I want to do for the 2018 Richmond Village Anniversary. I had a thought and within a half hour my DD and DH had helped me bang out the details to something that we hope will be fun and profitable. <BR> <BR> A 24 hour s... Thu, 9 Feb 2017 11:00:15 EST "Yeah me!" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6312896 We started a "thing" in our household when we either do something we did not want to but did it anyways... or we succeeded at something that was difficult... or we did something that we just wanted appreciation for: You say "I made you a Valentine" and he says "Yeah Mom!" Or he says, "I got my taxes done" and you say "Yeah Son!" It should be said with a lot of enthusiasm. I started it when I became a stay at home Mom and no longer had people telling me I was great or admiring my work. So one ... Wed, 8 Feb 2017 13:57:00 EST Day 3 of the Fiber challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6312384 Fibre. Hmm. It takes some practice to learn what to eat but honestly I had forgotten how much it helps relieve depression. It is day 3 and I feel so "happy" it's crazy. A spark friend asked me about fiber so this is my understanding of it: <BR> <BR> When you look at a food label or recipe and you see "carbohydrates". That is what is supposed to guide you when you are diabetic or when you are on a low carb diet. You need a certain number but not too many. The "magic" of fiber is that whateve... Tue, 7 Feb 2017 14:42:50 EST Hunger.... and wanting to be normal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6310810 Sometimes someone will post something and while I am responding I will, with a shock, realize I had forgotten a very basic concept that help me in the beginning. <BR> <BR> Hunger. The poster asked if anyone had tips for more filling meals. Here is what I wrote. <BR> <BR> First... knowing that your stomach takes 6 weeks to shrink down to normal size after overeating. <BR> Second... water water water. If we are dehydrated at all then our bodies usually say hungry before thirst... thirs... Sat, 4 Feb 2017 17:19:12 EST Trying to remember! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6308479 I was surprised to see someone had commented on a blog from last summer so I went back to look at it. Are you ever surprised and amazed at the wisdom inside you? There were so many good points about the way I used to use my food tracker. It prompted me to go back and look at my spark success story which now has nearly 28,500 views. I swear, it was not all me! lol. But again... trying to do that interview I was so focused on what might help people from what I had learned. And reading it... Tue, 31 Jan 2017 12:48:22 EST About the dragon http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6307811 This morning I woke up with a song in my head... one I wrote and used to sing to the kids when they were little. It startled me. I have talked about my food dragon many times on this site. In AA they slay the dragon but in Overeater's Anonymous we have to walk the dragon three times a day. It never occurred to me that the song I wrote could have anything to with my life. The mind is an amazing thing! Years later I am seeing it differently. <BR> <BR> <em>276</em> <BR> "Well, gather... Mon, 30 Jan 2017 10:53:41 EST Rambling... and kind of content http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6307416 We have a lot of birds at the feeder. Not sure what KIND of nuthatches we have. One actually crawled into the suet frame and I was not even sure he was in there until he wiggled out. Lots of finches and a few cardinals to brighten up the white and black. I have not seen any blue jays of late. A small red squirrel, a large grey squirrel and an even bigger black squirrel keep circling each other trying to get the suet or feed and try catching any fallen bird seed. I was sitting doing medi... Sun, 29 Jan 2017 18:38:47 EST A thinking blog.... and some stream of consciousness writing... hehehehe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6306198 Big words in that title. Basically I am dancing the two step. Forward and backward. Hmm. I am doing so well and then go back to an old not so healthy behaviour then to the new healthier behaviour. <BR> <BR> My friend is a recovering alcoholic and this morning she shared how she almost... had a drink, without even thinking about it. Not thinking. <BR> <BR> Our question today was "how do you stay mindful and keep thinking about what you want to accomplish and how you intend to do that... Fri, 27 Jan 2017 11:48:51 EST Stopping the Sabatoge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6299122 A good friend on SP blogged a while ago (I only read it today) about starting the days out with great intentions then as evening comes, throwing caution to the wind and getting caught up in the food again. She asked why? Here is my response: <BR> <BR> Oh, oh, oh, pick me, pick me! OK, I don't know the answer for sure but it is so funny you blogged this because I was talking to my meditation buddy this morning. <BR> <BR> She said "drinking happens for her at night because she is faced w... Mon, 16 Jan 2017 09:15:08 EST Great great day and great week ahead! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6298793 I am going to call today a success. The week is finally over. And I have a lot to think about. <BR> <BR> The B&B hosted a large group last night. 5 massage tables set up rotating people every 15 minutes and I never saw a table empty. Tables piled with food. A fantastic ice breaker. Water volleyball and always a full hot tub and sauna. The reviews on line have been fantastic from the club that came here... of our place and our hosting and they have booked 3 more events for later in the... Sun, 15 Jan 2017 19:59:33 EST Thinking ahead http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6295952 Yesterday's experiment turned out OK. The baked vegan donuts... certainly not donuts.. more like a donut shaped muffin that is very seedy because of the high concentrate of chia seeds! Hubby and DD middlest who are Gluten free liked them enough despite how healthy they are. I will make them for my next vegan guests though and see what she thinks. <BR> <BR> One of my "aims" before Christmas was to clean out the freezer. I did that, defrosting it and making it spotless and made an inven... Wed, 11 Jan 2017 10:39:05 EST Gentle pushes forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6295294 It is certainly the time of year to discuss weather. More snow coming today. 5-10 cm. It has been -30 but is going up to -2 and there might be freezing rain... groan. .. I managed to get out snow shoeing/geocaching on the weekend and was so thankful because once the biting wind passed the sun was out and it was lovely with fox and rabbit tracks and some kind of "playing" on the river evidenced by the rolling and prance prints. I have been swimming a couple of times, doing 10 laps only bu... Tue, 10 Jan 2017 11:53:41 EST Traditions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6284513 Traditions are what we make them. I remember one year when my kids were little. We had no family around and after spending many years traveling to be with one family or the other we were looking at "another" holiday by ourselves because we could not afford to go. My daughter came home from school with the assignment to write about our traditions. I had a moment of feeling sad that my kids were missing out... and then reality hit. Traditions are made. I had moved so many times as a kid t... Fri, 23 Dec 2016 11:09:46 EST Committment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6283452 I've shared this before: <BR> <BR> "There's a difference between interest and commitment. <BR> When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit." <BR> <BR> I love this because it is true about me. I WANT to be committed to my eating and exercise plans but I fade away especially when I'm tired or busy. But it took on new meaning today when I read this one: <BR> <BR> "When you make a commitment you build hope. <BR> When you keep it you build trust."... Tue, 20 Dec 2016 17:41:52 EST Sunday - winter wonderland outside and inside we will be baking up a storm! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6282370 As often happens this started as a thread on a spark team: <BR> <BR> We did our Christmas tree hunt yesterday. Yay! A foot of snow plus the drifts. -4 F so it was nippy. Had a ball. 2 trees and since we wanted a white pine and DD youngest wanted a scotch pine we did a lot of walking in the drifts. The puppy had so much fun bounding through the snow. Lost 2 booties but they got found. I forgot my snow shoes but it was pretty light stuff. The farm had a tractor to pull the double wagons which ... Sun, 18 Dec 2016 07:19:59 EST Thirsty Thursday and Gratefulness today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6281258 I started this on a thread and figured I would cut and paste and keep going: <BR> <BR> -27 today and snowy. I had to go to the doctor. Subconjuctival hemorage... ie a bloody eye. My doctor said it is my diabetes and high blood pressure. He took my blood pressure in the office and yes it is high. I am so... mad, frustrated, worried. I never had high blood pressure before. It was always white coat syndrome and went away the moment I left his office. Last time he insisted I start on the... Thu, 15 Dec 2016 10:18:26 EST Food Addiction is Real http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6280454 I just read this new sparkpeople article about food addiction. <BR> <BR> http://www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp<BR>?post=food_addiction_is_real_and_6_way<BR>s_to_deal <BR> <BR> You would not think, after all my experience and all my blogs as a compulsive eater that I would have any doubts- yet I found the article very comforting. I ride this food addiction roller coaster doing well for a while then struggling. Sometimes it can be ages until I feel the downward spiral but it is just as d... Tue, 13 Dec 2016 14:42:54 EST A wall of glass... my choice! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6276589 I sent a spark mail to a friend and thought I could post some of it here. I had a great meditation this morning. My neighbour is a recovering alcoholic and we have a lot in common yet sometimes we don't "get" each other's issues. She was telling me she is eating sugar like crazy and I repeated back to her the things she has been doing the past week to see if she could make the connection herself that sometimes we change addictions. It is not my call to say maybe she has a sugar problem. ... Mon, 5 Dec 2016 08:59:31 EST Grateful wishes for you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6275738 I am so very grateful today. I was doing a remember when when sending a spark mail. I used to carry so much emotion around with me. A huge suitcase of baggage. That reminds me of a story told by a minister at a wedding I went to. He said that the bride was so excited because she finally would have someone to carry her bags for her. And when she lugged them up to the alter she was dismayed to find the groom had twice as much baggage as she did. I wonder how much I made DH carry for me. ... Sat, 3 Dec 2016 11:17:30 EST The strength to do your bidding http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6273745 Morning friends! Ah the world is spinning quickly today. My painter has the flu so I need to juggle things to see when he can fit in between guests. Some of it is a second coat, some of it is a flat roof, but some of it is removing old textured ceiling and painting which is BIG. I was delighted to have figured out how to bring my computer out to the pool area, open the meditation CD that my neighbour brought over for us but the speakers made the sound terrible. The aquafit this afternoon ... Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:54:15 EST Return to an old routine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6273189 Today is "Mix it up" Monday and the challenge is to find exercises to do in every room of the house. I have a big house so this is going to be fun. I am putting up post it notes as reminders and with them a message to myself to remind me about my journey.. motivational quotes. 17 to make up this morning over coffee. <BR> <BR> Last week was about paying it forward. I'm not sure why. It might have been a meditation, I don't recall. But I found myself letting people in when driving in tra... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 08:35:58 EST Rambling blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6272716 I have been painting the headboard for the new guest room. I saw one I really liked on Kijiji. It was from the Chateau Laurier which in Ottawa is a very old and gracious hotel right by Parliament buildings. But I have spent a LOT of money and about to pay the bills. No, have to make do. <BR> <BR> I'm happy with the new driveway and happier that I got a snow plowing contract this year for the first time. They have done it three times already and each time I have only had to do the walk... Sun, 27 Nov 2016 09:08:44 EST Fair vs Need http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6270193 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/e4b665e3-68fa-439e-98e3-4829eba07d9e.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/69326815-bd00-475b-9352-338fccbc81ad.jpg"> Here is the cat... at her largest with my large mini schnauzer. She was 22 pounds! <BR> <BR> My spark friend Chris asked me if 400 calories for each meal and then healthy snacks in between sounded about right. I've heard that too. And then... I know that as we age we need fewer calories. I guess it depends ... Mon, 21 Nov 2016 09:19:35 EST The cat and I http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6269905 Thank God my challenge today is no sugar. I have been stressed and my mind has gone to many sugary treats... but I have none in the house. I actually asked my SIL to bring chocolate on Thursday when they come for dinner, lol. Her son works at Lindt. Sabatoge in the making. Talk to me Thursday and see how I decide to deal with that. But no sugar it has been. <BR> <BR> Now here is my other thought... one I have had before. The cat was overweight for years. We tried many things and I ... Sun, 20 Nov 2016 17:42:33 EST The Freezer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6269428 There is supposed to be a high of 14 today (5.5 right now and it is already after 2:00 so is this true?) so I decided it was now or never to clean out the garage freezer and do an inventory. Snow is meant to come on Monday and soon any temperatures above freezing will be more likely in spring. <BR> <BR> At the peak of my eating disorder I think every pantry and freezer inch was crammed full and yet I would use my enabler family members to get us to eat out frequently or I would have no ide... Sat, 19 Nov 2016 14:26:37 EST I'm trying to repost my success story... had problems sharing it with a spark friend today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6268465 <link>www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po<BR>st=justyna_lost_65_pounds_with_a_littl<BR>e_help_from_her_sparkfriends </link> Thu, 17 Nov 2016 13:14:15 EST Sponsor family and my plan to regulate my blood sugars http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6266058 Yesterday was crazy busy. It was the "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" fundraiser that I have been helping organize and I provided gluten free bread and dessert for the buffet, had auction items to organize and was answering phone calls. Hubby also decided it was the right day to stain the deck and given that he arrived home with the staid mid afternoon and the days are short I ended up out there with him. Fortunately he was the one getting between the boards and I only had to use a long handled... Sun, 13 Nov 2016 08:09:51 EST Do I wish I did not have to "work" at being thin all the time? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6265604 Do I wish I did not have to "work" at being thin all the time? This was a question one my good spark friends asked. Sometimes. My journey seems to be telling me that being broken made me who I am. The struggle is part of who I am. I think I no longer have a problem with being fat. No. I was at a party in costume but people recognized me by my shape and I was OK with that. In fact, when I saw that my husband who no one recognized in costume was being ignored I was pretty happy to be k... Sat, 12 Nov 2016 09:06:48 EST PLAN FOR NANOWRIMO http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6265349 Friday already???!!! And more distressing is it is November 11th which is 11 days into Nanowrimo and I have not started writing yet. BUT I still have time. I have taken time off work and have the next 3 weeks available to have a routine, look after me because I Matter, and write 50,000 words. How? I am off to a good start with my new spark buddy who has given me some challenges. I tweaked them so that I can succeed. I also printed them so they can go on my fridge... I have such a bad m... Fri, 11 Nov 2016 16:40:35 EST To my American friends to cheer you up! A message from Canadians http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6264912 http://youtu.be/stGhjokq57U <BR> <BR> Darn the link does not seem to be working... but cut and paste this and watch it. I hope it makes you smile. We know that you as a Nation are doing the best that you can and sometimes that is pretty awesome. We do love you and all the greatness that you are! <BR> <BR> <link>youtu.be/stGhjokq57U </link> <BR> <BR> p.s. thanks Bonnie for your help figuring out the link! Thu, 10 Nov 2016 18:17:39 EST Choices and walls http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6264547 Today was a good day. In my meditation I read about making choices. I can stay focused on my needs and how they often conflict with each other but I can CHOOSE to do A or B and respect the needs I am trying to meet in doing so. I always have a choice and the knowledge helps me stay positive, and have self compassion. I choose to believe that the US election will bring something positive to the world. I choose to believe that I can and will be the best I can be. I choose to be grateful f... Wed, 9 Nov 2016 22:17:16 EST Waking up - Self Respect http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6255005 I'm reading another Brene Brown book (Rising Strong) and also doing a daily "meditation.. but more like a learning moment" using Non Violent Communication. They are really doing a number on my thinking. In fact I think I "woke up" today. <BR> <BR> The first thought or realization is that feelings, which like many people I strongly avoid, might be layered. One of the feelings that is the hardest to feel might be "hurt" and according to the book we will do anything we can to avoid actuall... Fri, 21 Oct 2016 13:46:25 EST What is Beauty? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6246105 Yesterday morning I was sitting beside my Sister in law who I admire sooo much and she made a comment that shocked me. It was to the effect that she has never been beautiful. Not that she never FELT beautiful... but never was a beauty. I woke up this morning wondering about that. The first time I met my sister in law was the days before her wedding where I was her brother's "plus one". She was quite stunning. First of all, tall and slender. Confident. Funny. Her whole being was one o... Tue, 4 Oct 2016 07:22:33 EST Tarts and Vickers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6243721 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/6d7bc866-3615-4fd6-95e8-2e18b727d2c2.jpeg"> <BR> <BR> As promised... my costume. I'm the tart, lol. I think 75% of the people were dressed like some type of clergy... from nuns, priests, cardinals, and monks to Jehova's witnesses. Lots of dancing and so much food. One man had dressed up in drag and that surprised me. I had zero sugar and drank only water. I was very proud of myself. I had brought a cheese and meat platter and had fruit ... Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:47:44 EST Bobble head Justyna http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6237363 Apparently I have a bobble head. My physio thinks all my symptoms of pain and weakness relate to my neck problems. The X-ray showed a lot of degeneration, nerve impingement in the foramen (spaces for the nerves) and bony spurs that stop mobility. It does not look good but she was most concerned about the looseness of my neck compared to the tightness of other muscles that I use to compensate. She has a plan. Good, because I am so frustrated with "rest". My chiropractor has done wonders f... Sat, 17 Sep 2016 11:27:45 EST Courage http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6229979 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/53aaafc9-f1ea-4155-a4eb-1f082ff36616.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I am reading a book "Gifts of Imperfection" and the first thing it talks about is courage. Doing things because we have to but don't want to.. takes courage. Change takes courage. I have been imagining that button I have that allows me to push through hard stuff and using that for the little things lately. I AM a courageous person. I just have not ever seen it in myself. <BR> <BR> <i... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 11:37:10 EST Update on the Justy-moments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6221354 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/02315909-f5c2-4d00-aa2d-207ba2a0c42e.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Justy-moments seemed to work yesterday... grouping my "self care" "I Matter" activities. eg. water and meds and crunches/core exrcises.... or water and meds and nails (I play harp) and skin care.... or water and go outside and meditation (That vs. a list that I seemed to skip things regularly on. It seemed to revolve around putting a group of things in one room or space. I'll try again t... Sat, 20 Aug 2016 10:12:19 EST Justy-moments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6220759 Listen. That was the message today that I woke up with. I have been thinking a lot and I guess it is time to take a break from that. <BR> <BR> I shared that with my walking meditation buddy this morning and it was amazing how many things kind of fell into place. <BR> <BR> One, I shared that my chiropractor asked me if I have been taking my daily salmon oil supplements to which my mind thought... where ARE those? Then he asked if I have been doing my 3x/week exercises. I wondered when ... Fri, 19 Aug 2016 07:58:53 EST Embracing Imperfection http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6220213 Bare with me... I know I am hovering over this theme. Nice image actually... like a hummingbird sipping out sweet nectar from a flower. Perhaps that is exactly what I am doing. <BR> <BR> Imperfection. It was funny how I reacted to the new Ikea catalogue. At first I was shocked. I don't know if you have seen it but it features a lot of pictures of real life going on in the photos. Like kitchens with dirty dishes piled up in the sink and mismatched ... well, everything. I love the Ike... Thu, 18 Aug 2016 09:18:43 EST I AM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6218552 I am finished my book "The Gifts of Imperfection" and have spent time between chores typing out a summary. I am hoping that a friend or two will want to discuss it chapter by chapter and I want to be able to refer to parts as well as reread some while I absorb the words. I'm sometimes slow doing that.... reading a word, a phrase or paragraph and letting it slosh about in my brain until it gets osmosed where it is supposed to. I am not sure if it is age... or just that important things take... Mon, 15 Aug 2016 18:04:20 EST A,E,I,O,U,Y http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6217823 A = have I been "A" abstinent today? (However you define that - staying away from self numbing behaviours like alcohol, food, work, computer) <BR> E = have I "E" exercised today? <BR> I = what have "I" I done for myself today? <BR> O = what have I done for "O" others today? <BR> U = am I holding on to "U" unexpressed emotions today? <BR> Y = "Y" Yeah! What is something good that has happened today? <BR> <BR> I'm reading a book called "The gifts of Imperfection": Let Go of Who You Think... Sun, 14 Aug 2016 13:58:57 EST Learning to kick shame out of my head! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6215991 BonnieMargay hit the nail on the head yesterday... relaxing can be really hard! My day of rest yesterday was probably the best thing I could have done for myself. It allowed me to "hear" what I needed to. <BR> <BR> I was given a book and will share more when I have finished it, but it described me and my symptoms of feeling shame perfectly. <BR> <BR> 1. I am all excited about something and then I get scared. I worry I will be judged, not fit in, that things won't go well. My exciteme... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 07:57:01 EST