JUSTYNA7's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JUSTYNA7 JUSTYNA7's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Espionage and the Food Dragon http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5763574 Writing this morning I talked to myself about my food and exercising which is not new... but I sketched out a chart of things I wanted to be able to track and was surprised. I wanted to track the number of Dragon attacks. <BR> <BR> My food dragon, as I have shared before is cunning and baffling and sneaky. It prepares for ambush when I am tired, hungry, lonely, tired or in pain. It likes the nights when I am sitting in my comfy chair in front of the TV. It lures me into forgetting my go... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 12:07:45 EST Starting the Writing Diet again... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762948 I've been accepted as team leader for the Wiring Diet spark page and am pretty excited. I really found this book useful. Last time I committed to trying the Writing Diet for 100 days. I'm not sure I will do a countdown again... but right now I need to organize my thoughts. <BR> <BR> So this week is about reviewing the 7 tools of the book. <BR> 1. Morning pages <BR> 2. Journal <BR> 3. Walking <BR> 4. The 4 questions <BR> 5. The culinary artist's date <BR> 6. HALT <BR> 7. The body b... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 14:02:53 EST Memories of food and looking for creative outlets http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760811 I have FINISHED making 20 meals for my daughter and it is now arrived at her place. All healthy and all things she can eat on her limited diet. My 2 daughters at home have to cook once a week so they opted to go to "Supperworks" yesterday and in 2 hours and ten minutes put together 18 meals. On my credit card... but a good experience in batch cooking. It even allowed them to make gluten free substitutions. We are all curious how they will taste. It is all in the freezer and an easy cho... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 10:56:26 EST Ending the day with gratitudes! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5759956 PHew! I am amazed at all the food I have cooked... tweaks and changes. DD is now quite sick so chicken stew-p became a priority (is is stew or is it soup... who can tell?). However LOTS of food she can eat and hopefully a bit more tomorrow. <BR> <BR> I have had 2 days of getting more than 10,000 steps! 2 days of .... I can't say pain free but certainly manageable pain in my knee and with all the standing at the stove it is amazing to me. Either it is all the prayer in the pool or mama... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 23:09:48 EST A Whirlwind of a Wednesday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758799 <em>244</em> For so many good choices yesterday. Exercise, food, and some good planning. I have been getting excited... which is a sure sign the depression is on the way out. I have some new recipes planned to send to DD this weekend while she moves and helped her problem solve some major issues so her stress is less. I got 10,000 steps and 5 miles yesterday!!!! And today my knee feels pretty good. I think the prayer has really helped! <BR> <BR> OK, so on the serious side, the scale... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 08:59:21 EST An insight to an ended relationship with my father http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758216 I know I have already blogged today but while I was walking and praying I felt a crack open in my vaneer. I felt like I was ready for something. Then when I was reading a blog I read this line" <BR> <BR> "We could not give each other what we did not have. We did not know how to love each other without the past tearing open the old wounds." <BR> <BR> I have ended my relationship with my father because he has the mistaken belief that just because I am family he has the right to direct his o... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 11:16:14 EST Making choices for a good today to keep fighting the dragons http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758090 The dragons are lurking. My food dragon is calling for foods to sedate my fears and worries. The depression dragon is trying to get me to not care, give up, be slothenly and lazy and spend all my day on the computer or watching TV. Ha! I know better! <BR> <BR> <em>244</em> Yesterday I got a bunch of woo hoo's! I did some gardening which is good for my soul. I drank a pitcher of sassy water with mint, ginger and lemons from my garden. I did some research for my writing. I played... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 08:30:33 EST Shaking it up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5757176 I have been fighting depression. The combination of my knee injury and pain with not being able to do what I WANT to do has been hammering away at my good moods. So yesterday I worked at gardening. It helped but not enough and I called out for help. Today DH and went to church. The first part was just what I needed with a big focus on change and time that had me writing notes. But... then the second half was kind of a downer. So... when we got home DH and I decided to go kayaking. Put... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 22:19:29 EST Patch Adams and attitude http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5755579 My girlfriend is going to the Guzundeit institute to do a clowning workshop with Patch Adams in West Virginia. I am very envious! <BR> <BR> It is a lovely drive from here and I enjoy road trips. <BR> Clowning is something very precious. I know some people do not like clowns... a few too many creeppy shows have given them a dark side.... but it is a wonderful gift to make people laugh especially when life is scary, tough or overwhelming. <BR> Patch Adams is my youngest daughter's hero. ... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 08:08:00 EST Keep it simple and move forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5754985 Water. I have my water bottle filled and made a jug of sassy water for the fridge (lemon, mint, ginger and cucumber) <BR> <BR> Exercise. I started the morning with 100 situ ups/crunches on the ball and am going in the pool today. Also will have a sauna and do some stretches, especially my calves and feet. <BR> <BR> Food. An egg and fiber bread for breakfast with strawberries. I have cucumber and tomatoes and herb cream cheese and will make a wrap for lunch. Dinner will be butter chick... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 09:39:40 EST Balance from a new perspective... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5753569 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1396486050.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/7/l877890107.jpg"> <BR> We went to a rock balancing festival. Intrigued? <BR> <BR> It is quite something. <BR> <BR> Along the Ottawa River are rock plateaus and a few years back an "artist" began making piles of rocks, some precariously balanced. He started inviting guest artists from worldwide to come. I spoke to him yesterday and he was disappointed with the turnout. I gu... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 11:09:28 EST What teams to be on? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752217 Over the years I have been on many teams, some more active than others. It's a wonderful community and I've met some amazing people. I would like to decide what teams to be part of for September that will help me meet my goals. <BR> <BR> 1. Inspiring blogs and threads. <BR> 2. Team members should be active. <BR> 3. I should relate. <BR> 4. They encourage me. <BR> 5. They push me outside my comfort zone towards meeting goals. <BR> 6. They help me make goals and find ways to meet th... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 11:56:03 EST The choice to eat well http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751615 Never fails... I start commenting on peoples' blogs and hear what I need to hear. <BR> <BR> Today it is about the choice. <BR> <BR> I can choose to eat sugar and crap and whatever. The benefit is that I dull my emotions. I don't have to feel so much and when my world is stressful it is appealing. It's a drug for me so it will crate more cravings and become important in my life, call me and motivate me, and then when my body gets used to it I need more and more and finally it does not g... Sat, 2 Aug 2014 10:51:35 EST ST goal for this week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5750762 The BLC this week is to get in 150-200 minutes of ST so that's my goal. Been a while since I felt like I should work hard at an exercise goal. The cardio was easier last week because I just had to walk or "bike" and although it was slow I was still putting in the minutes. I want to focus on a different body part every day but do some legs, arms and core every day too. I love the feeling of a "burn" and the rush it gives me. <BR> <BR> I have to say part of today I was thrilled. I walke... Fri, 1 Aug 2014 00:22:52 EST God and exercising and getting outside http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5750261 I was talking with my daughter about the magical thing that happens when you walk or spend time outside..... you feel better. <BR> <BR> So often when "we" have been depressed or in a funk we have looked outside and thought "I should but I don't want to". It is easier to stay indoors and play computer games or watch TV or sleep. Do nothing. <BR> <BR> When I started SP and the 10 minute exercise streak I didn't really think it would make a dent in my weight. What I didn't realize was h... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:37:29 EST Back and heading back into http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5749185 My holiday in northern BC was great in many ways. Multiple celebrations, visiting, nothing went wrong. .... <BR> <BR> However I got way off track with food. Buffets and leftovers and desserts all over and then I carried that home when I was trying to impress our guests this week (the bride and groom for their honeymoon here with us). They are now gone and I thought that was the end... but DH and I just had a picnic at Rideau Hall which is the governer general of Canada's residence and gr... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 20:13:48 EST See you next Tuesday! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741173 It has been a very satisfying week. I got down to 200 lb. and got a lot on my list done that HAD to get done. Hurray for lists and planning and accountability. <BR> <BR> But now I need a few ZZZ's before our flights and drive to northern BC. DD is all set with her plans to have the place to herself (and friends) and will look after the pets. The fridge is stocked for her with healthy foods... which gave me a lot of joy because I did not shop with her, just loaded the foods into the clean... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 01:04:08 EST Tuesday' progress on the week's goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5739288 It is so worth while putting things in writing. I then know what I have to do, I get ideas about how to do it either through getting organized or my spark friends come to the rescue! <BR> <BR> Yesterday was very successful. <BR> <BR> I have not finished the list but took "bites" of each item. <BR> <BR> 1. Cleaning out my freezer, fridge and pantry. I went through my deep freeze and pulled out the buns and perogies and things we are not eating any longer and took them to my brother's ... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 11:01:49 EST Monday, Monday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5738442 I used to always want to make a fresh start on Monday. I would set myself up with ... no impossible goals but certainly not easy, not realistic, and often high risk. Like the gambler who is willing to bet the house. I'll just deprive myself and super exercise and focus... and presto I will meet my goal. It is not that it never worked. I am thinking back to when I was a teen and used to fast. Could that what ended up triggering my binging later? Or compulsive exercising. Certainly it w... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 09:03:07 EST Has my future self put a spell on my food dragon??? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5737327 My blog from yesterday I noted that I asked my future self what I should do... and today when I discovered some candy leftover from DH's birthday and the food dragon was saying "wouldn't that be nice to munch on while everyone is out of the house?" my future self jumped in and asked me if I had eaten my veggies and drunk my water. I had not. So I closed the cupboard door and walked away. It was that easy. <BR> <BR> I made salad and came here to do a blog because I realized that most of... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 13:09:23 EST Making a good start http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5736545 Woo hoo, I am down a pound and I managed to get nearly 5,000 steps yesterday! <BR> <BR> Things are possible! My knee injury and watching the weight creep up has certainly discouraged me but someone came across my spark success story and put a comment on my page. I went back and read that story again and Wow! What a remember when to ... not just what it used to be like when things were bad, but to what things were like when I was succeeding. What really came across was the difference th... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 08:30:55 EST Choosing to sit and enjoy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5732367 Yesterday I asked myself where my favourite place is to sit and "look out". I have several. There is a cafe on the canal in Ottawa where you can sit with a glass of wine and watch the pleasure boats, ducks and geese, the joggers and bikers go by. It it just as nice in winter when there are skaters and sometimes a horse race or bathtub race, lol. I have a couple of nice places I can hike to and enjoy the waterfalls or valley views and in the fall the colours here are spectacular so anywher... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 08:49:19 EST New Day... new strategy. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726956 New Day... new strategy. <BR> <BR> Yesterday a friend who is a doctor in emerg cautioned me not to get my hopes up that my surgery will be any time this summer. She knows the hospital is shutting down all but emergency proceedures and my knee won't qualify. Hit me like a ton of bricks and my first response once she left was to bake and eat crap. <BR> <BR> This morning I decided to "take things into my own hands". I tried walking without my crutches. Why? Because my other knee, ankle... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 09:03:05 EST Grrrrrrrrrrr - so much for yesterday morning's calm resignation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5725466 Long vent coming. My goal is to stay on my crutches (I keep cheating which of course is silliy) but I want to get things DONE without asking DH. DD23 is not reliable for help and HAS to drive to appointments for DD25 and I and herself so I am hesitant to ask for more or she will retreat which she has pretty much done the past couple of days. Which leaves asking DH who is swamped with work, he had to take time to go to DD25's neurologist apt. which is far away and always a full day event.. and... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 08:58:04 EST This too shall pass http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724098 I just called the doctor and the secretarie's first words were "we have not received your referral yet..." and then while I was talking to her she said, "oh here it is attached to your Xrays from the hospital" (which they got last Monday. Grr. But I'm one step closer to getting a surgery date. The doctor will look at the Xrays today and they will call me back. <BR> <BR> I stepped on the scale today and am at the 200 line. In truth I was slightly below it but of course I didn't believe ... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 12:15:51 EST Finding strength to do this http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5723304 I was responding to a blog comment and wrote the following: <BR> <BR> "So easy to let things go... and so hard to keep it "in line" but as they say when you give an inch it wants a mile. I know we have to live our lives but part of it is learning to deal with stress without listening to the food dragon. It really helped to read this morning that you are struggling because I KNOW what to do for other people. Keep eating clean, the dragon's call will get weaker. Do things you love to dist... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 10:03:44 EST Whistle a Happy Tune http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5722823 Grateful. Today's blanket feeling. I have had Seawave here this week and she and her DH have the most positive of attitudes. They are amazing people. They understand SP and so much of what I am going through and help me see what my next steps should be. <BR> <BR> Update for my knee - well not much different. I'm still waiting for knee surgery but now the physio has said no driving and no going in the pool without someone there to rescue me if needed, and no standing for long periods ... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 13:34:51 EST Seeing my challenges through a different light http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5718390 The pain in my knee is getting less but I am being careful and always using the crutches. The hardest part is NOT doing anything and letting go. I have to wait and be patient. <BR> It is not about what I can't do.... too many of those to think about and too easy to go back to the pity party....No, it is about what I can do. I can do my best to be prepared for surgery. <BR> <BR> Successes so far <BR> -yes I can get up from the floor <BR> -yes I can walk in the pool.... brrr.. hubby had to... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 11:04:41 EST The self pity is filed away on the top shelf of a far away closet... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717849 A few tears. <BR> A lot of venting to spark friends and family. <BR> My spark friend suggested that I could indulge in self pity for a while but then file it away in a box and put it high on a shelf in a closet. So that is what I'm trying to do. <BR> <BR> Exercise: <BR> My knee is not good and I'm still waiting on the surgeon to let me know how things are going to go for the next few months. I'm thinking these 10 weeks I will have to have non step/walking goals. <BR> So goal number one... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 12:26:31 EST God is laughing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5714339 I wrote in my last blog that I was not taking enough rest days..... <BR> <BR> I was just at the doctor and other than physio I need to REST. No stairs. No walking. Grrr. BLC is about to start and tomorrow I have a day's drive to go to DD's convocation and then the next day drive home. Lots of sitting, yes but not exactly the type that is ideal. I had thought at least I would be doing lots of walking around campus and going on a picnic. I had xrays and it looks like I may have a torn... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 16:11:43 EST BLC Summer goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5709736 I was wondering about my goals for the next BLC. <BR> <BR> 1. Weight. It is wonderful to be in onederland. The last thing I want to do is sabatoge my efforts. I want to be able to cope when "life" happens. I am making slow slow progress so if it's working then why mess with it? It is still nice to have a goal. Still nice to have a number to work towards. When I started in Spark people I set my goal at 180 and then when it seemed like such an unrealistic goal I set my sites on 190 wit... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 12:27:45 EST A great start to the day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708778 I have to admit I've been having some down days. I've had to push myself to keep working at my to do list. I've had good moments and hit some all time highs... like getting 20,000 steps in one day and getting a heck of a lot done of the pool room walls and keeping up on my yard. DH has been great. But I've also had enough lows that I've added St. John's Wort to my list of meds to take every day. <BR> <BR> That said.. today has been great. I started with morning pages and a walk then m... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 09:55:09 EST Mirrors on spark people - seeing myself in your blogs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5707947 Oh my goodness. Sometimes I feel like I am a broken record... but I need to keep saying the same things until it is NORMAL for me. Yet again I woke up wondering if I should try a different way of eating. Yet again I was tempted to try reducing my food or cutting out some foods. Yet again I had my mind wonder if I could exercise MORE. <BR> <BR> I was responding to a blog today and kept thinking "I need to HEAR this" becasue I was pulling my advice from my experience, not from my emotional... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 08:51:56 EST Wow! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5704628 I think I am really going to stay in onederland. Today I made my own record of getting over 20,000 steps on the tracker. Between aquafit with the new neighbour and mowing lawn and gardening ... oh I did not track my heavy house cleaning, hehehe. Anyways I am done, literally, and just hope that tomorrow I can MOVE! Did grocery shopping. A few sweets jumped in the shopping basket so have to be wary. Tue, 27 May 2014 20:02:56 EST Doing everything right - the numbers prove it. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5701051 I've been reading the blogs of spark people who are gaining weight or not losing. It's so frustrating/scary/baffling to be doing everything right and still see the weight packing on. Same with not being able to take it off. <BR> <BR> I was at my family cottage and my Mom and Dad and sister were commenting on how I am looking so good. Summer clothes with lots of skin showing. And I do, compared to what I usecd to look like. But I kind of bristled because I have not seen a big change in ... Thu, 22 May 2014 21:30:22 EST Time for a quick blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5697004 I am very grateful today.... <BR> DD25 is feeling better (she has been quite depressed) <BR> We have been getting things done for spring cleanup of the yard <BR> DH is home for the long weekend so can help work on projects <BR> I wrote a note of thanks to our retiring doctor for all she has helped us with <BR> We have nearly finished our first of 11 windows in the pool area... should be done ONE today and hopefully having figured things out the rest will go more smoothly (very complicated pro... Sat, 17 May 2014 11:52:11 EST Rest Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5694038 A rest day is a tool for losing weight. Our bodies need to recooperate. Stress and lack of sleep can make us hold onto those pounds. <BR> <BR> So today is my rest day. I am also going to make it a good food day starting with green tea instead of coffee with breakfast. <BR> <BR> I am on track and on the train when I: <BR> FOOD <BR> -grapefruit <BR> -cottage cheese and yogurt <BR> -roast beef sandwhich on high fiber bread <BR> -greek salad <BR> -salmon on spinach salad <BR> green tea a... Tue, 13 May 2014 09:44:06 EST Anti bullying video http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5693823 I watched this and cried. Such wisdom in these kids. <BR> <BR> http://www.reshareworthy.com/bars-and-me<BR>lody-on-bgt/#s7PD6TvTIuYZ2HuP.03 <BR> Tue, 13 May 2014 00:35:28 EST Smiling today! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5693272 <em>67</em> It's a great start to the day. I just became a level 19 sparker <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> I remember when I started on SP and go my first little spark icon for signing up and making a spark page and how ridiculously happy I was when Chris Downy added me as a friend. I am a grown woman with a ton of responsibilities and especially then I was craving even small signs that I was succeeding... and so when I got enough points to buy myself a goodie... I did. And I got a welcome ... Mon, 12 May 2014 10:13:19 EST Happy Mother's Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5692525 Yesterday's eating was excellent! <BR> <BR> I was active all day! <BR> <BR> I feel great, the weather is lovely and we are inching along on the pool repairs! <BR> <BR> I am also about to change levels on spark people which is a great NSV. <BR> <BR> My fridge is pretty much empty but I don't want to shop today. I might clean out the fridge ready for fresh fruit and veggies tomorrow. I know it will not be the healthiest of days but that's OK. I'm still getting fiber, fruits and some ve... Sun, 11 May 2014 10:02:01 EST Running blog of my day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5692118 Today was busy and because I asked my kids have been very helpful. DH and I started working on the dreaded pool area and found some mould. Got it all cleaned out and discussed potential ways to fix our problems and then took a trailer load of brush to the dump and while there filled up with a trailer load of compost. DD25 is starting a patio garden. We have a half acre but she hates outdoors so the patio garden is a good compromise. We picked up some bright blue and turquoise pots for he... Sat, 10 May 2014 17:51:12 EST Planning to pace myself with this weekend's project http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5691447 Last week... wow. Between moving my Daughter back to University, major house cleaning, gardening and doing a strength training challenge... my body is kind of sore. This week SHOULD be house repairs and specifically scraping old paint off walls, filling drywall, painting on waterproof rubber and topcoating with paint. Sounds straight forward but it's not. It is the walls of the indoor pool in our bed and breakfast. The system that ventilates and takes the humidity out and puts it back in... Fri, 9 May 2014 17:02:25 EST Changes - in slow motion? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690745 Today I tried doing a sample of grout work on spare tiles I have. DH and I put up the replacement tiles the other day and said we would wait until the current B&B guests are gone before trying the next step... grouting. I decided to do a test. It amazes me that we can do these things ourselves. OK, that I can do them myself. But I admit I either jump in with two feet and do a slap dab job or I am ever so cautious and slow. In this case it is slow. I'm afraid to make decisions and do th... Thu, 8 May 2014 18:07:20 EST What I need for mother's day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5689671 I am down to 198 this morning. <em>244</em> This morning that does not feel like a scary number. It feels... right. So my goal is to not sabatoge, just do what I have to do today. Guests are coming. I started the morning with DH sitting on the deck having breakfast and we talked about what we "need" to do for work and what we "need" to do to feel safe. For me that means getting some repairs done in the pool area. It is so easy to get overwhelmed. When DD25 and I were out yesterday... Wed, 7 May 2014 10:28:26 EST Can pride be used as a tool? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5687968 Good morning SP! <BR> <BR> Our house was Italian built with love and there is tile everywhere. In the 2 main bathrooms and kitchen some of the tiles are out dated but there are only scattered decorative ones so I'm hoping replacing those with more modern "stone" look will suffice to be an update. It took me a few days and yesterday some help from DH but we have now smashed out the 6 decorated ones in our ensuite without damaging the surrounding ones. We are doing it in baby steps. Th... Mon, 5 May 2014 11:20:58 EST A rattled blog.... got thrown off the train... and am climbing back on... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5687286 My first thought when I woke up this morning was "I should only eat vegetables and protein". Ha! That is the thought of a person with an eating disorder. The reaction to a stressful few days where I turned to carbs. Fortunately I went back to bed this morning after feeding the animals and thought about what "normal" is on waking up the second time. <BR> <BR> DD and I were hit by a car while driving her back to University Friday. It swerved into our lane on the highway and I saw it com... Sun, 4 May 2014 15:22:49 EST Two day blog - computer lost half the first time trying to post it, hehehe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5683774 MostMom1 did a great vlog that really made me think. It is all about Spring Cleaning Spark Style. <BR> <BR> 1. Why do I want to lose weight? <BR> <BR> When I started this journey that was such a simple, silly, obvious question and the answer was "I can't lose weight". I NEEDED to lose weight and I had tried and failed countless times. Diabetes, lack of mobility, afraid of breaking chairs, no clothes that fit, the loss of so many activities that I loved to do.... If it were as simple a... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 08:28:39 EST Another quick blog! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5681873 I spent today feeding guests and gardening and am wiped! Have some things still to do tonight so I can only say "hello, I'm here!" I feel like a Who that Horton hears. I am on track today for my food and have been on the go all day so no problem with exercise... just have to NOT eat when I stop moving! I'm sure I will have some pain and tiredness can be a trigger. I am grateful today for DH who has worked hard by my side. For DD's boyfriend who is cooking tonight and listend to my sugge... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 20:16:23 EST How important is food? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5680890 Today is day 33 in the 77 day BLC countdown! <BR> <BR> I read a spark blog (thank you 1234bites4me) that was talking about where food is in your life priorities and realizing that other things maybe should be more important. <BR> <BR> There is a process in the Passion test where you list 10 things you would do if life were perfect, then with a buddy you go through the list and of the first two decide if you could ONLY DO ONE which would you choose? Then you take the one you said "yes" ... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 11:48:15 EST Done what I need to! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5680424 Busy day, busy week, busy... seems forever! <BR> <BR> Having DD22 home has been great for me. She wants to exercise and eat healthy. Today we did some errands together after a work out in the pool. We are both feeling it though. Guests just arrived so this must be short: <BR> <BR> I am on track on the train when <BR> Food <BR> -high fiber/high protein toast and peanut butter and herbal tea <BR> -apple <BR> -salmon and salad <BR> -rice pudding <BR> -salad and... <BR> <BR> OK got to run... Fri, 25 Apr 2014 18:00:34 EST