JUSTME9898's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JUSTME9898 JUSTME9898's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6375757 I keep rewriting my goals. Trying to determine what they are. I came to the conclusion that I was being too lofty. I needed to address my basic desire. <BR> # 1 I want to live - and that is in question <BR> #2 I want to enjoy life- that means being able to do the things I want to do. I want to be able to see, to walk, and to go on trips. I cannot walk and going on trips is very hard because I cannot walk. <BR> So what do I need to do? Lose weight so that I can have surgery. <BR> How c... Fri, 16 Jun 2017 02:53:13 EST Reality - heart disease http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6311813 I had a heart attack in September and now I was hospitalized for articular fibrillation. I have to face up to the fact that my body needs help from me if I want to survive. Every decision I make has consequences in the future, but I just want to bury my head and pretend that nothing has happened. Mon, 6 Feb 2017 14:22:01 EST guilt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6297403 I have spent my adult life as a teacher. I gave more to my classroom than I did to my family. My family survived the neglect and are doing fine. Now that I am retired I feel guilty about my easy, drifting life. I want to continue to be involved, but do not want to schedule. I want to be free to do what I want when I want, but feel this constant nagging that says I should be doing more. I ran for school board and lost. I like doing nothing and yet I crave doing more. Ambivalent about m... Fri, 13 Jan 2017 13:39:21 EST Ashamed of myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6295211 I had a temper tantrum yesterday. Here on the site because I am feeling very alone at the moment. I am sorry to have taken out my frustration here. Tue, 10 Jan 2017 09:51:54 EST Looking Back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6294919 A year ago I wrote a blog about loss. I am writing again about that same subject. My cousin died. She was my last contemporary in my family. My brother is still alive. He is 10 years old than I am. All other cousins, aunts, uncles, in-law of my age, parents, have passed. The younger generation, my children and their cousins, are alive although some of them were taken early. <BR> But oddly, it is the loss of a Spark friendship that has deeply upset me at the moment. This is the place... Mon, 9 Jan 2017 21:56:39 EST Dealing with loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6185957 I feel so alone. In the last few years, I have lost so many family members. My parents are gone, My aunts and uncles are gone. My grandparents are gone. My husband, his brother, his brother's wife are all gone. All that is left of my generation is my brother, my cousin and myself. My cousin's husband is gone. My cousin has terminal cancer and has about 3-6 months to live. We live in the same town, we are best friends. She is in the hospital right now and does not want visitors. I fe... Sun, 19 Jun 2016 22:40:56 EST A new Month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6083865 I want to start each new month with as much enthusiasm as I did the new year. Today is the end of a cycle and tomorrow is a new beginning. <BR> goals for the month - I will <BR> not eat in the car, no snacks, no drive through <BR> realize that I have a lot of little successes each day - I will acknowledge my successes <BR> I will read my goals to remind myself why I am doing this <BR> I will visualize success <BR> I will not play games on the computer after 8:30 PM <BR> I will do at least 5 ... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 11:31:51 EST Random thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6082331 I can do this. It is time to engage in a little positive thinking. I will envision myself 25 pounds thinner, with better blood sugar levels and greater physical capabilities. I will see success. When the basketball team wins the game it is not one lay up standing alone. The way to the win will have mistakes, it will have missed shots, but it will also have a commitment to going back on the court with the vision of that win in sight. Each shot, each steal, every play is a building block... Fri, 29 Jan 2016 12:06:50 EST Body shaming http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983163 It has been a long time since I have entered a blog. First I want to thank all of my Spark friends for their continued support. You have helped me in so many ways, keeping me going when I was ready to give up. <BR> Body shaming - I was recently out to lunch with my cousin. It was well over 100 degrees that day. My cousin looked at me in horror for wearing a sleeveless shirt. She stated "How can you do that? I could never let people see my fat arms.? " Now, first of all she is 50 pound ... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 12:13:54 EST A new Year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842711 Yes I am making Resolutions. I am focused on making them doable and healthy. <BR> <BR> # 1. Move more, get up walk around the living room, make it a habit <BR> <BR> #2 Practice portion control - measure fats, proteins and starches <BR> <BR> #3 Do strength train at least 2 times a week <BR> <BR> #4 Take blood sugar readings at least 3 times a day <BR> <BR> #5 Journal at least 10 minutes everyday <BR> <BR> # 6 Develop a sleep routine that is pleasant and relaxing <BR> <BR> #7 Drink mor... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 11:11:31 EST Refocus http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5823324 My main concern is no longer weight loss, it is blood sugar control. When I focus on weight loss I feel as if I have suggestions for success not rules for success. When I am focused on blood sugar control I have RULES for success. I am eating low starch which is not the same thing as low carb. I am eating beans, yams, carrots, fruit, and some dried fruit (prunes, figs). I am really limiting white potatoes, wheat products and other refined products. This is making a difference in my m... Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:38:40 EST Who am I http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5820427 I am a retired teacher <BR> I am a mother <BR> I am a grandmother <BR> I am a human being with wants, desires and needs. <BR> I am a person beyond my relationships with others. I am an individual. I am unique and sometimes I am lonely in that uniqueness and sometimes I am strong in it, but I am always me. <BR> I am an optimist, who sometimes gets depressed. I usually believe that people are good and the future is filled with hope, sometimes I think that humanity is a parasite and that peop... Fri, 21 Nov 2014 01:54:21 EST I am still here http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5819646 I spent a month battling my own demons. Everyday I came to Sparkpeople. Sometimes I did not do anything but read what others had written. <BR> <BR> I had many excuses, my computer had a virus, my tracker did not work because my computer had a virus, My elliptical broke, my family was too demanding, I was helping others. In the end they were all just excuses. <BR> <BR> Coming here everyday is what gave me the determination to change what I was doing. This is my third day compliant. ... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 16:53:11 EST What a difference a night's sleep makes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5792370 I had been going to bed between midnight and 1. I wake between 5 and 6 every morning. So I was grumpy, eating the wrong things, not exercising, and in a bad place. <BR> <BR> Last night lights were out by 10. I got a good night's sleep and actually slept in until 6:30. Wow, I am energized, feel good, have motivation, ate well and exercising. <BR> <BR> I keep forgetting how important sleep is to everything!!!! Sat, 4 Oct 2014 17:47:27 EST motivaion http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5791794 I am still here, so obviously I have some motivation, but it does not feel like it. I am still logging my food so I have some motivation. I am still going to water aerobics so something is still there. <BR> <BR> I seem to have lost my focus. I do not want to do anything other than stuff my face and sit around. I need to get more sunlight. I know that is a biggy with me and I need to get more sleep. The last week I have fallen back into the bad habit of staying up past midnight. I wake... Fri, 3 Oct 2014 15:00:51 EST baby steps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5788643 I have to regain my motivation for the daily grind work that is needed for weight loss; I have really made healthy eating a habit, but I need to add more fruits and veg., I need to weight and measure everyday, I need to really look at the amount of fat I am eating, I need to follow the plans I made. <BR> I have made 3 days a week of good extended exercise a part of my routine. Now I need to really increase my daily steps on the other days. I am averaging 1000 steps a day on non - water aer... Sun, 28 Sep 2014 20:57:28 EST Generational observations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784360 Ok - I am old or at least getting old, but I do not see what many of my generation seem to see. When I look at my grandchildren I see wonderful polite children and their friends act the same. I volunteer at their elementary school again polite, well behaved children will to listen and work. <BR> My daughter is a teacher at the middle school. I remember middle school kids - they were brats. Not these ) go to the middle school and they hold the door for me, they pick up papers I drop and th... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 22:23:39 EST just how good do I want to be to myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781334 I am taking my cousin to Red Lobster for her birthday tomorrow. I will get either the grilled mixed seafood or the grilled shrimp with a double order of broccoli for my side. I know the calories on each are within my range, but now how much money do I want to spend? <BR> I have budgeted my calorie intake, but it is now time to budget my cash out flow. I know my cousin will order whatever I order, taking her cue from me as to how much I want to spend. Even if I tell her to get the more e... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 00:34:05 EST One step at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5778239 For may be the first time in my life I put myself first. My son;s problems began to effect my health. I told him my health problems and that he could not continues to depend on me for constant support. He listened and said that I was right and he needed to deal with what was going on in his life like the man he was. <BR> My daughter wanted me to give up one of my water aerobic days to babysit because it would make it easier on her not because it was a necessity. Again, she said that was ... Thu, 11 Sep 2014 23:01:45 EST Life Sucks Sometimes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768216 There is so much drama going on in my life right now. I have spent the last year at relative peace except for some money issues and now life is pressing in. I have dealt with the death of both of my parents, cancer, my husband's death and all the other things that make life stressful. My son is in the middle of a messy divorce. Now think of the meanest divorce you have heard of - that's it with two ultra emotional people. They live a block away so he is staying at my house half the time.... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 16:53:36 EST Finally weight loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5764975 I lost 5 pounds this week!!!! I feel like I am finally on the down side of the plateau. <BR> Lots of family drama at the moment, but I am on track and tracking. Fri, 22 Aug 2014 14:01:11 EST I love Mondays http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762248 I am retired and everyone goes to work on Monday, so it is my official day of rest and reflection. I have been struggling with a very slow weight loss. I am going to try a month of no red meat and see if it makes a difference. I am going to try something different each month until I find that winning combination. Once I have found it I will stick with it until it stalls. I love being retired and able to focus my energy on my health. I am making changes in my life. I will figure this we... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 15:46:59 EST two days of success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5759166 I am very proud of my actions yesterday. I worked out. I made my 6000+ steps. I weighed and measured. I ate low carb and very healthy. I went to bed on time and slept well. A successful day. One of many to come. <BR> Today I am realizing that I am confusing energy level with motivation. My energy level is low because I took Benadryl to sleep last night, but my motivation is still very high. Seems dumb, but this is the first time that I realized motivation and energy are not the same thing. E... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 20:03:20 EST Turning a page http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5757706 My motivation has been waning lately. I have been focused on family and now I have time to turn the focus back to myself. I will have to deal with some money issues, since I just had to buy new tires for my car and a new central air conditioner. I cannot complain, the car tires are 8 years old and the air conditioner is 35 years old, so both have served me well and now I need to bite the bullet, which means cutting back on my fun money for a while. <BR> I am cleaning out the freezer whic... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 17:04:09 EST need help - peanut allergy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5755905 My grandson has a peanut allergy. <BR> I have always used either peanut oil or sesame oil for Asian cooking. <BR> What do you use if you have a family member with peanut allergies? Fri, 8 Aug 2014 18:06:37 EST A New Page http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5754405 This week I am very busy with family, but starting next week I will be alone during the day for the first time in my life. When I was young I lived with my parents, then with roommates and went to school, then with my husband and worked, now with my grown children and their children. Next week my DD and DSIL will both have jobs and be out of the house and their children will be in daycare, so for the first time in 65 years I will be alone. I am looking forward to this new chapter in my lif... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 13:14:28 EST long term goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751230 Be active and healthy enough to <BR> go on vacation <BR> hike <BR> shop <BR> walk 2 miles a day <BR> ride horseback <BR> <BR> Fri, 1 Aug 2014 17:12:57 EST August resolutions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5749102 Who says you can only make resolutions at New Year's. It is a new month so I am making August Resolutions. <BR> There are two areas in my life that I need to make major changes in; the first is sleep and the second is movement. <BR> I have been trying to win the sleep battle for at least six months, every time I go to sleep on time I feel better, I lose weight, and have more energy. Why is this such a hard thing to do? The rewards are immediate and the benefits are wonderful. Resolution -... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 17:32:48 EST life style changes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745868 In recent years my life has changed in many ways. <BR> 1. I had cancer and was told I had a 20 percent change of survival <BR> 2 I went on an experimental trail <BR> These two things dramatically changed my view of life and living <BR> <BR> 3 My husband retired <BR> 4 My husband died within 6 months of retirement <BR> These two things changed my relationships in my family and my life style and many of my friends <BR> <BR> 5. My son's family moved in with me - very stressful - very different... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 18:12:17 EST my no excuses exercise pep talk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5742234 Think about why you are exercising and the results you have seen. When I started Spark people my blood sugar would be anywhere from 120 to 150 in the mornings, now it is between 100 and 120 in the mornings. When I started my cholesterol was 260. It is now 170. I need to exercise for my health. If I start skipping exercise I run the risk of kidney disease, foot amputation and blindness. I am keeping my diabetes under control with diet and exercise. I do not want to take medicine that in... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 17:32:40 EST baby steps that led to giant changes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740209 One year ago I began spark people. My goal was to get on the elliptical and use it for 30 seconds a day. I was consistent and persistent. When I started it was very painful. I would get off and limp to my chair, my knees in pain and so stiff they would barely bend. I could stand in one spot for about 3-5 minutes and that would cause intense pain. I was going to water aerobics 2 days a week. <BR> <BR> It is now a year later. I can use the elliptical for 10 minutes without intense pain.... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 15:45:16 EST Finally a little more energy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730011 I have spent the last week dragging from place to place. Finally, I have some energy today. Went to water aerobics and have stayed on target with my food. It is so hard to keep on track when you are just worn out. This is a NSV for me to really keep on track without any energy. Now that I feel better I think things will get easier. Tue, 1 Jul 2014 17:46:11 EST No longer plateaued but now into some self sabotage http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5727378 Finally broke my plateau, but now for the first time in a year I am having a hard time doing my exercise. I am making the water aerobics 3 days a week and exercising at least 10 minutes on 3 more days. But I was exercising an hour or more. I seem to be getting more sleep, but do not feel rested. I am dragging myself all the time. I am also getting sloppy about what I am eating and measuring. <BR> My blood sugar is better, I am maintaining, but I know I could be doing so much better. <BR... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 21:28:00 EST Frustration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5721811 This is one long vent. Sometimes it is really frustrating when you are doing the best you can and then you read an article that just tells you to do what you are already doing without much results <BR> Here are the 50 what to cut 100 calories and my venting about each and every one of them. <BR> This is why I get frustrated <BR> <BR> 50 ways to cut 100 calories <BR> Beverages – I drink water, unsweetened ice tea, black coffee and club soda <BR> • 1. Split a 20 oz. bottle of regular soda wit... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 02:05:54 EST travel plans http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5721450 Tomorrow I am leaving on a long weekend which means restaurant eating. I do not know the restaurants in the area so I will be going in blind. I just hope they have nutritional info on their menus. It also means I will be missing my water aerobics, I hope there is a pool I feel comfortable using. This will be a challenge, but one I think I am ready to take. Thu, 19 Jun 2014 14:04:45 EST 3 Great things I have done http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5719165 When I woke up today I got on the elliptical first thing. It makes me feel better and gives me a positive outlook for the day <BR> <BR> I spent some time really thinking about my journey and journaling about the path I am traveling <BR> <BR> I reached out to my DDL. I need to mend fences. This was a start. Mon, 16 Jun 2014 14:08:41 EST Motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717452 My motivation is like the changing of the tides. It ebbs and flows. It comes and goes. I wake up usually filled with positive energy and as the day wears on my motivation wears thin. <BR> I have done some serious thought and journaling. I have new plan. <BR> On water aerobic days I do great. My energy is better, My attitude is better. My motivation lasts. <BR> So I am aiming for somehow getting my tracker to register 10 minutes of aerobic exercise on non-water aerobic days. That sou... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 21:08:01 EST A new Beginning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5716403 Today is my first day of the Biggest Loser Challenge. I am energized. My motivation is better than it has been for a couple of weeks. <BR> I need to do some journaling to re-orient myself. So off to water aerobics. <BR> One step at a time. One day at a time Thu, 12 Jun 2014 10:20:49 EST keeping on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5711633 First - my son's Great Dane had 13 puppies <BR> Second - I felt as if I had no motivation today, but I ate correctly and did my exercise. So I must have had motivation even if I did not realize it. Thu, 5 Jun 2014 21:55:16 EST Planning for success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5710847 So Spark Coach said I need to blog my meal plan for the next few days <BR> so tomorrow <BR> breakfast - eggs, tomato, onion, jalapeno, cilantro and grapes <BR> Lunch - left over - home made chicken veg soup <BR> dinner - red bean and rice, with collard greens and peaches <BR> <BR> Friday <BR> Breakfast - poached salmon, tomato, apricots <BR> lunch - left over chicken veg soup <BR> dinner - shrimp and scallop stir fry with Asian salad and oranges <BR> <BR> Saturday <BR> breakfast - spinach ... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 22:03:12 EST Physical improvement NSV http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5709947 I still cannot walk for extended periods of time, BUT I can walk. I walked into the post office today and waited in line for about 5 minutes and walked out without pain, something that would not have happened a year ago. <BR> I actually went shopping and went to two stores without carts, walked in knew what I wanted and walked out. Again something that could not have happened a year ago. <BR> The change has been so subtle that I did not even realized it had happened. Small victories. Stea... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 18:44:18 EST Yeah Me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5707644 I made 10,000 steps again. 2 hours of water aerobics and 4 sessions on the elliptical. I am so proud of myself. I am also amazed at the improvement in my physical ability. A year ago I would have to have my inhaler at the edge of the pool and I had to go at half pace, now I have not used my inhaler for 6 months and I am setting the pace. <BR> When I started I was unlucky to get to 1000 steps, now on my long water days I am multiplying that by TEN!!! <BR> So sorry but I am just sitting her... Sat, 31 May 2014 19:18:38 EST irritation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5705937 I am really working at tracking my steps. I woke up this morning and immediately got on the elliptical withOUT my tracker. Bummer! <BR> But I did the same workout an hour later so I could see how many steps I had done. Irritating but not the end of the world. Thu, 29 May 2014 10:26:43 EST 10,000 steps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5702434 first time made it over 10,000 steps - going back tomorrow for more water aerobics - I can't wait until I can walk on land like I can walk in the water Sat, 24 May 2014 22:52:11 EST broken plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700058 FINALLY!!!! <BR> down 5 pounds after a 3 month plateau. I have been doing the Sparkcoaching for plateau busting. I think it was calorie cycling that finally worked, I tried eating at the low end with no result, then I tried 2 days low and one day at the high end and after 2 weeks it worked. <BR> I have also upped my water aerobics by a very minor tweak - between exercises I jog while everyone else stands still for the 15-30 seconds it takes for the next exercise. So between these two thi... Wed, 21 May 2014 13:41:44 EST Exercise blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698444 I had really gotten into a good place with exercise and then my children hit. <BR> I am babysitting and will be for most of the summer so that my DDIL can keep her wonderful new job. That is not sarcasm. She just got hired at what seems to be the perfect job for her, so I am more than will to step up this summer so that she can go to work without child stress. <BR> Watching the grannies is no problem, I go to their house where they have things to do and they are very good and pretty indepen... Mon, 19 May 2014 12:32:18 EST 6000 steps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5695978 Today I made 6000 steps, this is the third time this week. That is a real change from the under 1000 where I started. Thu, 15 May 2014 21:57:50 EST It's a new day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5694268 I feel strong and on track. I am not ecstatic, or joyful in my motivation, but rather steady and determined. I really feel like this is a turning point. I am ready to take this journey step by step <BR> Exercise <BR> Healthy eating <BR> Portion control <BR> Sleep <BR> Stress reduction <BR> It's a new day. Tue, 13 May 2014 15:25:37 EST changing direction http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5693508 I have not had a good week. No motivation, yet really managed to get the exercise in. I do not see exercise as having anything to do with my weight, rather as essential to my health. It controls my diabetes and it is essential to maintaining the limited mobility I have. As a result, I always exercise even when I have no motivation. BUT!!! Eating correctly - that is a different story. I have not been eating my fruits and veg. I am finding that makes me feel heavy, and unclear. <BR> So t... Mon, 12 May 2014 15:19:41 EST going to break this plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690710 went to water aerobics, then on to the elliptical, made my 6000 steps <BR> eating at the low end of my calorie range - on track today <BR> my next goal is to eat 10 fruits and vegetables in a day - read that it will detox your thyroid - can't do any harm Thu, 8 May 2014 16:56:34 EST