JUDDLL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JUDDLL JUDDLL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Got some new under garments... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6090129 Was needing underwear because I figure if I can tuck my boobs into it, it might just be a tad to big... so I went to Walmart and bought 3 packages 2 in a size 11 and 1 in a size 10 because they were just to cute to pass up. The 11's fit perfect down from a tight 13. <BR> <BR> I had a favorite bra that was just to big. I thought my other bras were fine until I wore one the other day and it kept wrinkling really badly and looked awful... Poop... wasn't ready for that expense just yet. Ha... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 14:47:57 EST Ok not so good the last few days... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6089751 This may be tmi for some people but I want to be honest about all the ups and downs of my journey. I have hemorrhoids and have for many years. Sometimes they get really painful but for the most part I can deal with them. On Thursday morning I had to use the bathroom and was once again constipated cause I was stupid and stopped taking the mirralax which has really helped the problem.. Maybe it was helping a bit to much and so I decided to see if I would be able to quit taking it and go on m... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 01:53:10 EST First 100 lbs gone... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6088638 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/ca20b179-9bb7-44eb-81de-4f7ac716d2bf.jpg"> <BR> Sporting my new bracelet! As of today I am down 100.4 lbs! Woot. Fri, 5 Feb 2016 14:37:44 EST uggg! So close and yet so far... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6086797 I didn't make the 100lbs total this week grr. I have 2.2 lbs to go... I am leaving the scale down this week cause I am wearing my bracelet that I ordered to celebrate asap! Still 3.4lbs down this week I will take it! Loving my new tool. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I made my first dinner that I really liked. Three premade turkey meatballs on a bed of thinly sliced zucchini with a little spaghetti sauce and sharp cheddar cheese. It was very good and very filling. Just the right amount. <BR> <... Wed, 3 Feb 2016 12:49:06 EST Video interveiw series... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6086003 A friend of mine who does videos on YouTube, asked me to do a series of video sessions on his channel talking about my journey, and the view of fat people in the world in general. I am very open about my struggles with obesity and what I am doing now, so I agreed. We did the first session this morning and are planning to do it every Tuesday morning till we decide not to I guess...lol. If anyone wants to check out the first one you can search for it on Mark Hidden's channel. I don't know how... Tue, 2 Feb 2016 15:48:52 EST Almost to first 100lbs gone since new start... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6085419 So I just ordered myself a couple of gifts to myself for getting that first 100lbs gone. I am hoping to reach that goal by Wednesday when I do my next weigh in. I am close. I ordered two bracelets one is a sterling silver bangle with a butterfly closure and engraved on the inside is "you are beautiful". I really love it. The other is a stainless steel cuff that has "all things are possible" engraved on it for all to see. It has some filigree cutouts and I couldn't resist both. I will no... Tue, 2 Feb 2016 00:03:41 EST Had to blog again today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6084177 Oh my this has been a banner day for NSV's. First I took a bath for the first time in a long time. I haven't done baths because they got to hard to do. I was able to get down in the tub and lean forward with no problem to turn off the running water. I was able to get up out of the tub on my own not great because my knees don't like my weight on them but fast enough that it wasn't to painful. The best thing though was there was room on either side of me...not much mind you, but room non t... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 18:55:23 EST New underwear... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6083923 I have been putting it off but when I get paid I am getting some new underwear. They are going to start falling off of me any day now. They are so loose it doesn't even feel as though I am wearing any, and I don't like that feeling... They sit up on my rib cage too and if I wanted to I could tuck my boobs in them. So new underwear hear I come... The problem is I have no idea what size to get. I hate trial and error. <BR> <BR> I had to have my son put the scale up out of my reach yesterda... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 13:23:17 EST Staying home being cozy today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6083401 I was thinking of going to the Y today but decided that I would rather take the day off and just stay home. I have been doing some projects around the house and that is nice too seeing as I usually have someone else do most of the tasks for me. I feel happy with the progress I am making. <BR> <BR> That being said I am feeling sick at the moment from my lunch which was two deviled eggs. I just don't think eggs are working for me anymore. I a bummed at this as they are a great source of pr... Sat, 30 Jan 2016 19:48:57 EST Apparently Thursday at the Y was not gonna happen... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6082771 I got in the morning yesterday and fully intended to go to the Y. Instead I struggled to poke breakfast in of one egg with american cheese then crashed hard in my recliner for three solid hours. I may have been pushing a tad to hard... <BR> <BR> After I woke up food was still a major struggle for the rest of the day. I didn't want to eat or drink anything, but I know I have to so I kept trying to poke things in. Finally around 8:30 that evening I was able to get some protein down. I kep... Fri, 29 Jan 2016 23:48:08 EST Hmmm... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6081444 I worked out again yesterday but had to go slower and it was a struggle to just reach my step goal. Not sure if it is from my other workout or just my normal struggle. I always seem to be an every other day girl. Meaning every other day my workout is good and on the other days it is a struggle. My calves are still sore from my workout that went really well. Not working out as hard I was able to eat and drink afterwards. I am on several bariatric community boards and I am not the only on... Thu, 28 Jan 2016 11:52:37 EST Another 4.4lbs gone... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6080582 Six weeks out and another 4.4lbs are gone. I look forward to getting on the scale every week. I find that I can't always wait for the following Wednesday to get here and I will get on the scale several times during the week. I think I am going to have my son put it out of reach this week so that I can't do that. I want the surprise of the loss at one time. It seems like a lot more when it is all at once as opposed to a little each day. I haven't pulled the sticky notes of my Journey Board... Wed, 27 Jan 2016 11:56:04 EST I killed it during my workout today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6079993 Today at the y not only did I double my workout time and step goal but I was able to really push during the two hours I was there! I am home waiting on my three turkey meatballs to come out of the oven, with corn and a mushroom sauce. I got to use one of my hair towels for the first time and I love it! Made the whole showering at the Y easier today. I am feeling really good. <BR> <BR> Apparently I am in what is know as the honeymoon phase after surgery. I am planning on taking full ad... Tue, 26 Jan 2016 19:34:37 EST So many things are making me happy... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6079064 Today I went to the YMCA and as I was headed into the pool to workout a lady that I didn't know but who had seen me around the pool said "Excuse me, I just had to stop you and tell you how good you look. You have lost so much weight. I just wanted to let you know." I was so happy. That lady that I don't even know made my day with those kind words. Now that is an NSV if I ever saw one! <BR> <BR> The other day my son went grocery shopping with me which he never does. So I took him out for lunc... Mon, 25 Jan 2016 19:37:47 EST Another goal reached today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6078370 I wore a shirt that I bought at least 2 years ago. I thought it looked cute and it was the first time I wore it. One of my friends said she thought it looked to big on me but I thought it was just about perfect. Then I was feeling so good about it that when I got home this evening I tried on one of my goals shirts that I bought about the same time. I fell in love with it and it was one size smaller than what I was wearing at the time. They didn't have one in my size and I had been losing... Mon, 25 Jan 2016 02:17:13 EST Day of rest... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6077500 After going at it pretty strong for the past two weeks I took a day of rest and was just lazy at home. I think I needed it. I want to get to where I go to the Y Monday thru Friday. I may go tomorrow. I haven't decided yet. My time availability is tighter on Sundays so I would have to get moving a bit earlier than my body seems to want to do. <BR> <BR> I can now put my underwear on standing up. I may have already mentioned this but I am still amazed by the fact. I also keep looking at... Sun, 24 Jan 2016 00:26:04 EST I went down the water slide.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6076727 I tried to go down the water slide before after I had lost some weight just to get up to the top of the 48 stairs and be told that the lifeguards all had the weight limits wrong. It was horrible and embarrassing. This time I was still 17lbs over the weight limit but no one looked at me twice. I trudged up the steps thinking I would be able to do them easier than I did but still I was able to get up all of them. Then I sat down at the top of the slide waited for the guard to tell me I coul... Sat, 23 Jan 2016 00:35:16 EST Solid food woo whoo... I think... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6075728 I am now allowed to start adding solid food into my diet. I had a small piece of prime rib yesterday and took the rest home. It worked out nicely last night but when I had it this morning maybe not so much. I was able to eat it just fine, but after my workout I was having trouble swallowing even water... I'm not sure why this happened but it did resolve itself after about an hour. <BR> <BR> I have worn all three of my size 26 swimsuits now and am surprised that they all fit so nicely. ... Thu, 21 Jan 2016 20:13:25 EST NSV's... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6074549 I kept seeing NSV and wondering what is that? I finally figured it out. It stands for non scale victories, and I had a big one yesterday. I have been going to the Y the last couple of weeks and yesterday I decided to pull all of my suits out of the closet that I was never able to fit. I had bought them a couple of years back when I had been losing weight and ordered them a couple of sizes smaller. I never got down low enough to wear them. Well yesterday I traded my size 30 swimsuits for... Wed, 20 Jan 2016 12:31:45 EST BUMP in the road today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6072947 So got up this morning knowing I was going to the y to workout and also knowing that it took an hour and a half for my protein to kick in so I poked my breakfast in as early as possible. Then arrange my y visit with my friend Kari who was going with me today. It was about 2 hours after I had eaten breakfast and I didn't want my protein to poop out on me mid workout, so decided to eat three of the small turkey pepperoni that I had. I figured that would pack in another 12g of protein and sho... Mon, 18 Jan 2016 17:23:21 EST Make that five days... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6071275 I was actually at four days in a row yesterday with my step goals being reached so today makes five! I headed to the y and my but was dragging. I decided to just go at a slow pace but move for at least one hour. As I was hitting my hour all of a sudden I hit a burst of energy so instead of packing it in I bumped up the intensity and went for another 30 minutes. I was happy to get in the extra time. <BR> <BR> Having had bariatric surgery I am not allowed to drink anything for 30 minutes... Sat, 16 Jan 2016 19:37:35 EST I've met my step goal three days running... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6070487 I have been going to the Y almost everyday and I am finally starting to hit my step goal. I run out of energy more quickly than I'd like, even making sure I put in a quality high protein food before I go. Not sure what happened but when I got home had a hard time eating something that goes down very good usually. I actually had a couple sips of water which I am not supposed to do but after that I was able to eat. I needed to eat my body was sapped of strength. I am thinking I am going to... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 19:49:14 EST Weigh in day... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6068582 Down another 3lbs. I am happy about the loss. I still am having trouble going to the bathroom which is frustrating. I am tired of eating mush too but a little over a week left of that and I can start adding solids. Really looking forward to that but not sure my stomach is. I think I may have given myself another hernia trying to poop. Somethings got to give there or I need to be able to take another type of laxative because nothing else is working. Oh other than I went and got a hot su... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:44:11 EST Life is changing... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6065577 So eating is more of a chore than anything else right now. It takes though in preparation of what I am going to eat and how I am going to poke 80g of protein in. Soft stuff works best right now, but some more solid soft stuff is starting to be easier to get down. I find the more solid stuff fills me up quicker and sits like a brick in my tummy. It makes me uncomfortable for a long period. While soft stuff goes in pretty easy and doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. I am a soft solid diet... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 09:26:43 EST I poo'd... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6062041 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/cd3db7ed-62ac-436d-b51a-166114041097.jpg"> <BR> Didn't think it was going to happen but it did. I feel better. Other good news I am down seven whole pounds woot! I am now in the 320'S. And down a total of 80 pounds from my most recent start and over 100 now from my highest yay. I'm glad I'm finally seeing the scale go down. I was beginning to get frustrated. I saw on another website a woman who did a goal board and so I did one myself. I got ... Wed, 6 Jan 2016 10:40:07 EST Constipation... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6061105 I hate this. I have ibs so I never have a so called normal poo, but ever since surgery it is a struggle to go at all. Third day no signs of anything happening and I have been taking fiber again and miralax, as well as ducalace. I feel terrible bloated and am having a hard time eating as I already feel stuffed. Not a happy girl. Hopefully this will change by tomorrow or I will be forced to call my doctor. <BR> <BR> On a brighter note the scale is showing a loss. I'm not sure how with m... Tue, 5 Jan 2016 12:58:11 EST First full day of food down... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6057923 So I have discovered that if I am going to get in my protein for the day I have to eat about every two hours... Ugh! That is not an easy task. Yesterday I had an egg w/ 1 tablespoon of low fat cottage cheese and 2/3rds piece of turkey lunch meat scrambled together. Came up to about 10g of protein, but left 2T behind. Then for a snack later I had a strawberry light and fit greek yogurt with 12g protein. Was able to eat the whole yogurt. For lunch I had a smoked fish snack. A bit higher ... Sat, 2 Jan 2016 11:45:48 EST Looking on the bright side... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6056886 So last year, as it is officially the new year today, I set a goal for myself in July that I wanted to have gastric bypass before the end of the year. I accomplished that goal. Not only that but before my bypass I lost 73lbs and that makes me 95lbs down from my overall high weight. Last year was a success in my weight loss journey. <BR> <BR> I had my first meal with solidish food last night. I had bought a small one egg skillet about a week ago trying to make sure I am not preparing to... Fri, 1 Jan 2016 11:44:15 EST It's official... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6056411 I am back to my pre surgery weight. Which means after two plus weeks I haven't lost anything. I am a bit frustrated. I talked to one of the nurses and she said if I had a big loss before surgery it can take a couple of weeks to kick in but I should start seeing a loss this week. I sure hope so. I did lose an additional 20lbs right before surgery so I guess I will bite my nails and hope to see the scale move downwards passed my pre surgery weight. <BR> <BR> On the better side of this, I ... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 21:54:13 EST Ok two weeks out today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6054792 Ok so I am a bit irritated. I am down about 20lbs although my official weigh in date isn't till tomorrow. That is the 20lbs put on by fluids from the hospital. I was at 335 going in and now 2 weeks later I am at 335. I am frustrated that is only 2lbs from last week and I am where I was pre surgery....poop pooop poooooop! I was thinking the first couple of weeks I would see big numbers but that doesn't seem to be the case. I didn't expect to see big numbers the whole time but the first c... Tue, 29 Dec 2015 16:04:46 EST Sleep still seems to be evading me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6051676 However I have talked to another person who has gone through the surgery also and they said that they had the same thing happen and it didn't last long. <BR> <BR> So today was my first weigh in day post surgery. They weighed me last Wednesday they day after my surgery so I have chosen to make Tuesdays photo days and Wednesday weigh days. Yesterday I had my son take photos of me and even though I didn't get photos done before I started trying to lose in July I still had some of me during the... Wed, 23 Dec 2015 12:30:55 EST Sleep... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6051284 Still having trouble with sleeping and for some reason woke up horribly nauseous this morning. I am not sure why but it was even hard to take my anti nausea pill. Still struggling with the sweet but my sister had mentioned bone broth before and a spark member mentioned it in a recent comment so I spent all day yesterday simmering some so I can have that today. As a matter of fact now that my pill has kicked in I may have some for breakfast. I really need something savory. Apparently there... Tue, 22 Dec 2015 14:54:01 EST Everthing is just so sweet... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6050760 I wish I had a protein that I could drink that wasn't so sweet. I like the flavors and see them as a definite addition to my diet for the long run, but as my meal all day everyday for this first two weeks it's killing me. Ugh. I feel better today than yesterday. I am not getting in enough of anything but I am really trying. Yesterday I got in 20oz of protein and 46oz of other stuff so I am in no fear of dehydrating but it is a force myself to swallow when it comes to the protein. I am wor... Mon, 21 Dec 2015 14:33:23 EST Little bump in the road... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6050292 Ok so more like a couple of bumps... I had soup, well bullion last night for dinner and I made 10-12 oz of it. It tasted so good I couldn't stop eating it. It still took like 30 minutes to eat and was cold by the time I finished but I ate the whole thing. Too much at once! I was so full and uncomfortable I even had trouble peeing not sure why but I did. I didn't throw up though but was horribly uncomfortable. So will make no more than half a cup at a time in the future. It made for an u... Sun, 20 Dec 2015 15:29:20 EST Amazed at how good I am feeling... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6049886 I am feeling really good. I am still sore but recovery is going pretty good. I slept well last night and am working on my fluids today. My stomach is more swollen than I originally realized but when I put my robe on today it wasn't even close to closing. Poop. I know that I am retaining a lot of fluids because my shoes don't fit so well and they were positively loose recently. I think a lot of the swelling in my stomach is gas and air. I didn't realize how much that would affect me. Dr... Sat, 19 Dec 2015 17:11:51 EST Ok first full day home... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6049410 I got home from having bariatric surgery last night. I am gassy like you wouldn't believe and it hurts a bit. I feel much better when I manage to pass some. With every sip I take I get more gassy. That's a bit frustrating. The first day after surgery you aren't allowed anything other than IV's . The second day they bring in some water and then pull out a little cup that says it holds two tablespoons and that you can have one of those every hour.... Not what I was expecting. Oh and this... Fri, 18 Dec 2015 14:51:37 EST I received a comment on my last blog... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6043818 It asked if I really needed the surgery since I was doing so well on my own? The answer is yes. Surgery is not a quick fix end all I will finally be skinny fix. I will still have to eat correctly and exercise. I have done good on my own but I have struggled. The thing that has kept me on track is knowing I have the goal of reaching surgery. Even with that in mind I had two months where I didn't eat correctly and I gained almost ten pounds over thanksgiving. <BR> <BR> What surgery wil... Mon, 7 Dec 2015 13:36:34 EST 5 days in to my 2 weeks of Adkins... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6042538 I am doing two weeks of Adkins to get the fat off of my liver before my bariatric surgery. I am five days in and going strong. The goal of my surgery finally approaching is keeping me motivated. Today I weighed in and was pleased to learn that I am 92lbs down from my all time high and 70lbs total from when I started this process in July. My goal is to get another 8lbs off before I enter the hospital. I would love to be down 100lbs from my highest weight and know that I worked hard to mak... Sat, 5 Dec 2015 00:03:41 EST Pre op appointment... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6041744 I spent all day in Seattle yesterday getting ready for surgery. I am all approved by my insurance and I have all my vitamins ready to go! Yesterday was a day filled with classes on what to expect and getting ready before and after. I am on 20 carbs or less till surgery. The day before clear liquids all day ugh... At least they set me up with a clear protein drink so I won't be to starving I hope. I got to meet 5 other people who will be having surgery the same week. We exchanged emails ... Thu, 3 Dec 2015 12:16:04 EST I have the date... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6035836 December 15th! Woot! I have a the pre opp scheduled for December 2nd and it is a 4hr appointment. I didn't expect that. Plus I have to do the Adkins diet for two weeks before the surgery to get as much fat off my liver as possible. I am down a few more pounds for a total of 63 at the moment and 85 from my highest weight of 430 when I joined this site. I am looking forward to this. I need the help and am glad I am getting it. I can't wait to see me in a year! If any of you who wander... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:08:12 EST Not doing good on the workouts yet but... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6028776 I have gotten my eating back under control again. The other day I went to the bathroom and when I was washing my hands I looked up in the mirror and noticed something... I have a dent in the right side of my face. I have a cheek bone on that side again! I can't remember the last time I had a cheek bone. I had to go out and show my son Derrick who looked at me and said holy s!@t when did that happen! To which I replied I don't know but recently! I showed Devin when he came home from wor... Sun, 8 Nov 2015 15:12:34 EST My fridge is now full of urine samples... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6022636 LOL! I was upset about my sons eating a specific for me food and I wrote about it in my last blog. One of the lovely members here suggested putting a paper bag over it and labeling it urine sample. I loved that! Thanks for making me laugh. <BR> <BR> I just got my weekly report from my fit bit this morning and was shocked to see how bad I did last week! Ugg I haven't been that low in steps for a while now. Wake up call. I am waiting on a delivery here at home today but as soon as it ... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 12:55:28 EST Still struggling since I lost my friend... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6021101 I have been eating things I shouldn't and the stuff I can eat I have been eating to much of. I am still going ahead with the weight loss surgery. I need the help and I know this is the right choice for me. This is a tool that I need. I will still have to work just as hard if not harder to lose the weight but I can do it. Right now my body is telling my I'm hungry all the time... Even after I have just eaten and am feeling physical full my body is still telling me I am hungry. I am tryin... Sun, 25 Oct 2015 20:08:34 EST No pool yet... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5993345 The Y was supposed to open up again today and it did but the pool is not! POOOOP! I am so bummed. My eating has been awful the last couple of days but for some reason I lost 3lbs. What? It seriously makes no sense... I will take it though. <BR> <BR> It is raining hear and horribly depressing outside after the unusually nice summer we have been having. I need exercise so I am going to go walk around Wal-Mart or something. Walking on dry land is way harder for me but they have a few nic... Tue, 8 Sep 2015 10:45:26 EST Thanks everyone for all the support... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5992045 This has really been a rough week. I am struggling with my eating. I haven't gained but I haven't lost either. I have eaten things I shouldn't and so today I am shooting for a clean day. I haven't made the final decision yet as to my surgery. My plan is to just continue doing what I am doing and continue with the appointments. At the point I have been approved for the surgery I will make the decision then. I still have time. <BR> <BR> Weight loss is such a personal journey for every... Sun, 6 Sep 2015 12:01:46 EST ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986963 I have fought long and hard over making the decision to have this weight loss surgery. I have met more people who have had issues with it than I have met with good results. I had finally made up my mind... and now I find out that one of the people I had met a couple of years ago, took their life yesterday. She had been struggling with a lot of pain since her surgery and had been fighting with doctors for years trying to get help. One of the last times we had talked she had had surgery tha... Sat, 29 Aug 2015 17:59:32 EST Not easy to sleep... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985756 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/9bbb492a-c9e7-447d-ad77-24ad1090d068.jpg"> <BR> <BR> One of the things I got for my birthday was my c-pap machine. It is hard to get used to. The first night I wore it for 4 hours and then gave up and took it off so I could sleep. Last night I did much better and got about 6 hours with it on and actually slept during some of that. This was not my favorite thing about my birthday, however the fact that it will help me to reach my goal makes... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:03:43 EST 44 today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984450 My birthday is today and I feel so positive about where my journey is going today. I am very happy with my progress. I am down another 6lbs for a total of 49lbs since I started losing weight again 2 months ago. My progress towards surgery is moving along. I am frustrated waiting for doctors appointments to get here but I am still being successful in my weight loss and that makes me happy. The more I lose before hand the better in shape I will be for my surgery. Tue, 25 Aug 2015 10:41:12 EST Second night of sleep study... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5978899 Don't remember if I mentioned the first night of my sleep study but they found I do have sleep apnea. I was called that same day when I got home and they scheduled me for a second study last night. I spent the night trying to find a mask that worked for me and I think we finally did. The sleep technician said I slept pretty deep and I can't go back to bed even though I have been up since around 4 am. <BR> <BR> Everything is moving right along there. I am still losing weight and am now ... Sun, 16 Aug 2015 11:35:14 EST Still going strong... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5976820 So I had my second appointment in Seattle yesterday. I had to see the nutritionist and the shrink (way easier to spell) and both appointments went well. Other than another change in my diet. I am now down to no more than 80 carbs in a day and I need to get in 100 grams of protein. Ugh. However I have lost more weight now down 40lbs! Go me! <BR> <BR> I also got to see the Dr who will be doing the surgery and I was able to question the 90lb goal. He said that would be in a perfect wor... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 19:36:35 EST