JUDDLL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JUDDLL JUDDLL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I have the date... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6035836 December 15th! Woot! I have a the pre opp scheduled for December 2nd and it is a 4hr appointment. I didn't expect that. Plus I have to do the Adkins diet for two weeks before the surgery to get as much fat off my liver as possible. I am down a few more pounds for a total of 63 at the moment and 85 from my highest weight of 430 when I joined this site. I am looking forward to this. I need the help and am glad I am getting it. I can't wait to see me in a year! If any of you who wander... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 20:08:12 EST Not doing good on the workouts yet but... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6028776 I have gotten my eating back under control again. The other day I went to the bathroom and when I was washing my hands I looked up in the mirror and noticed something... I have a dent in the right side of my face. I have a cheek bone on that side again! I can't remember the last time I had a cheek bone. I had to go out and show my son Derrick who looked at me and said holy s!@t when did that happen! To which I replied I don't know but recently! I showed Devin when he came home from wor... Sun, 8 Nov 2015 15:12:34 EST My fridge is now full of urine samples... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6022636 LOL! I was upset about my sons eating a specific for me food and I wrote about it in my last blog. One of the lovely members here suggested putting a paper bag over it and labeling it urine sample. I loved that! Thanks for making me laugh. <BR> <BR> I just got my weekly report from my fit bit this morning and was shocked to see how bad I did last week! Ugg I haven't been that low in steps for a while now. Wake up call. I am waiting on a delivery here at home today but as soon as it ... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 12:55:28 EST Still struggling since I lost my friend... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6021101 I have been eating things I shouldn't and the stuff I can eat I have been eating to much of. I am still going ahead with the weight loss surgery. I need the help and I know this is the right choice for me. This is a tool that I need. I will still have to work just as hard if not harder to lose the weight but I can do it. Right now my body is telling my I'm hungry all the time... Even after I have just eaten and am feeling physical full my body is still telling me I am hungry. I am tryin... Sun, 25 Oct 2015 20:08:34 EST No pool yet... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5993345 The Y was supposed to open up again today and it did but the pool is not! POOOOP! I am so bummed. My eating has been awful the last couple of days but for some reason I lost 3lbs. What? It seriously makes no sense... I will take it though. <BR> <BR> It is raining hear and horribly depressing outside after the unusually nice summer we have been having. I need exercise so I am going to go walk around Wal-Mart or something. Walking on dry land is way harder for me but they have a few nic... Tue, 8 Sep 2015 10:45:26 EST Thanks everyone for all the support... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5992045 This has really been a rough week. I am struggling with my eating. I haven't gained but I haven't lost either. I have eaten things I shouldn't and so today I am shooting for a clean day. I haven't made the final decision yet as to my surgery. My plan is to just continue doing what I am doing and continue with the appointments. At the point I have been approved for the surgery I will make the decision then. I still have time. <BR> <BR> Weight loss is such a personal journey for every... Sun, 6 Sep 2015 12:01:46 EST ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986963 I have fought long and hard over making the decision to have this weight loss surgery. I have met more people who have had issues with it than I have met with good results. I had finally made up my mind... and now I find out that one of the people I had met a couple of years ago, took their life yesterday. She had been struggling with a lot of pain since her surgery and had been fighting with doctors for years trying to get help. One of the last times we had talked she had had surgery tha... Sat, 29 Aug 2015 17:59:32 EST Not easy to sleep... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985756 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/9bbb492a-c9e7-447d-ad77-24ad1090d068.jpg"> <BR> <BR> One of the things I got for my birthday was my c-pap machine. It is hard to get used to. The first night I wore it for 4 hours and then gave up and took it off so I could sleep. Last night I did much better and got about 6 hours with it on and actually slept during some of that. This was not my favorite thing about my birthday, however the fact that it will help me to reach my goal makes... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 12:03:43 EST 44 today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984450 My birthday is today and I feel so positive about where my journey is going today. I am very happy with my progress. I am down another 6lbs for a total of 49lbs since I started losing weight again 2 months ago. My progress towards surgery is moving along. I am frustrated waiting for doctors appointments to get here but I am still being successful in my weight loss and that makes me happy. The more I lose before hand the better in shape I will be for my surgery. Tue, 25 Aug 2015 10:41:12 EST Second night of sleep study... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5978899 Don't remember if I mentioned the first night of my sleep study but they found I do have sleep apnea. I was called that same day when I got home and they scheduled me for a second study last night. I spent the night trying to find a mask that worked for me and I think we finally did. The sleep technician said I slept pretty deep and I can't go back to bed even though I have been up since around 4 am. <BR> <BR> Everything is moving right along there. I am still losing weight and am now ... Sun, 16 Aug 2015 11:35:14 EST Still going strong... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5976820 So I had my second appointment in Seattle yesterday. I had to see the nutritionist and the shrink (way easier to spell) and both appointments went well. Other than another change in my diet. I am now down to no more than 80 carbs in a day and I need to get in 100 grams of protein. Ugh. However I have lost more weight now down 40lbs! Go me! <BR> <BR> I also got to see the Dr who will be doing the surgery and I was able to question the 90lb goal. He said that would be in a perfect wor... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 19:36:35 EST Hmmmm... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5973821 So three weeks down and I have lost 30lbs. I had my first appointment in Seattle and it laid to rest a few things I was worried about. I learned a lot and now have a list of things I need to get done. They want me to lose another 30 to 60lbs before surgery and that worries me. They changed my diet to no more than 100 carbs in a day and anywhere from 1300 to 1500 calories. Hi protein because that is what I will have to get used to afterwords. It sounds like a toss up between the sleeve a... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 18:39:30 EST Two plus weeks in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969855 Still doing alright. Down approximately 21 lbs. Really working hard towards this goal. I have decided to set my rewards for getting to certain goals as new fun things I can do with exercise in mind. Such as the first big goal is 30lbs and when I hit that I will be taking a day trip to Victoria BC to do a walking tour of a museum and the downtown area there. Pretty vague I know. I haven't been there, but a friend of mine has and she is gonna take me around. And if I can do it by my birt... Fri, 31 Jul 2015 16:30:43 EST Wednesday was a good day... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5966048 So on Wednesday I went to Federal Way to the other weight loss surgery seminar and I got all the information I needed to make the right choice for me. I still have to sit down with the doctor and see what he has to say before I finalize anything, but I feel good about the progress I am making towards my healthier self. <BR> <BR> I went up with a couple of friends and we stopped in at my doctors office on the way there so I could weight in. Wednesday was my first full week on the diet so I ... Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:22:37 EST Seventh day on diet... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964425 Still doing very well. I have been staying under my calorie limit. I am very excited that I have found ways to stay on it even when not at the house. I am planning ahead and packing food so I know what I am eating and how many calories. Cottage cheese and fruit have been my saving grace because I just can't do two tv dinners a day. I eat fresh and have stayed away from most packaged and processed food for a couple of years now. I find when eating those it is hard to recognize that it's ... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 15:50:38 EST Went to the Y Saturday... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964103 I did end up going to the Y Saturday and overall I walked 12.5 miles! That is a huge accomplishment for me. <BR> <BR> So still doing good on the diet. I haven't cheated and I have been under my calories every day since the first! Today I went to the Y again and I worked out hard for 2 solid hours. When I left the Y this morning I was roughly 350 steps away from completing my step goal for the day of 10,000 steps. I reached my step goal for the first time since I got my fit bit around ... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 00:56:17 EST 1200 calories day 3... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5962466 So I am on the third day of my 1200 calorie diet and it is both harder in some ways and easier in some ways than what I expected. <BR> <BR> First I thought that after my morning swim the shake would not stave off the hunger created by the exercise... It actually does amazingly well. (cottage cheese also did great) <BR> <BR> Second I play poker at night and usually eat dinner at the bar which is no longer an option. I felt so hungry and grumpy the first day that I thought I don't know if... Fri, 17 Jul 2015 22:23:37 EST Wack a mole syndrome... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5961848 So I have been gone almost 2 years according to my last blog entry... It really doesn't seem that long ago. I have been checking recipes here but that's about it. There for awhile every time I got in the pool my doctor would take me out as soon as I started making progress. I was determined for awhile and kept going back but then as we all know it's hard to keep starting all over again. Then I just started making excuses and now hear I am almost two years later and I am worse off than I w... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 16:52:02 EST Back again... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5595451 Well I got back in the water again after an extended time away. I got another abscess about a week after my last post. I had to be cut open again and was not allowed to go back in the water for 6 weeks. After that I got in the water and then got a flat on my way home and ended up at Les Schwab getting my tire repaired and it took 3 hours because they were swamped. Ended up with a horrible cold that turned into bronchitis. So no pool until now. I am back though and looking forward to fe... Thu, 16 Jan 2014 04:39:59 EST Really been struggling with rollercoaster emotions lately... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5492247 I think I may be going through menopause even though I had a complete hysterectomy about four years ago. I am frustrated with the yoyo emotions. I have also been struggling with my eating and exercise, because as anyone who struggles with weight issues knows it goes hand in hand. I am now two days in on a healthier eating routine and also my workout is back on track. I haven't had both of them going good at the same time in a long time. I am happy to be going in the right direction again... Sat, 21 Sep 2013 20:55:30 EST Little irritated today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5456506 I worked out at the Y with Andi, and Kathy again today. Andi brought a new torture victim with her today also named Sue. It is always nice getting new workout buddies. Today I walked for an hour against the river and ten minutes with the river. I was then feeling rather invigorated so I decided to get back at my laps because I really enjoy those. I got in and started swimming and then the swim lessons started. This is usually not a problem you just have to go to the deep end and swim ba... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 20:02:50 EST Feeling the burn... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5445596 My workouts have been progressing steadily. Today I did approximately 120 laps against the river at the Y. This takes about one hour and forty five minutes. I think that having Andi there with me has really helped to focus my workouts. Signing up for the Out of the Darkness walk has really helped give me a goal to work towards. I find that I work better with a goal and a deadline to meet. Andi is this sweet little round thing, that can look at you with her big ole puppy dog eyes, and say... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 19:14:52 EST Whew!... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5425713 I worked out hard today. We were doing sets of five with the river and five against the river. It was very hard. All together we did 50 against the river and 60 with the river. My legs are feeling it. I think that it is building strength and working cardio. I have signed up to do the Out of the Darkness walk here. It is a walk to help families who are dealing with a death from suicide. This is a cause very close to my heart. I am walking on team Froto which is a friends team in hon... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 20:22:20 EST Got bronchits awhile back now... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5424407 And I have been struggling to get back to my workouts. I gained 5lbs and that was the incetive to get it going again. I have been working out for a couple of weeks but it has been half assed at best. Yesterday though I got in a full two hours and the second hour I really kicked it up a notch. I have started walking against the current in the river. My knees couldn't take it before. I have tried off and on with no success but yesterday I tried again. It has been a year now that I have b... Wed, 17 Jul 2013 16:36:39 EST Another week started... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5339991 So I went to the Y again today. Today I had to go later than my normal time because my sons had dental appointments. Tomorrow I get to go at my normal time but Wednesday I have to go early. <BR> <BR> My sons are graduating this year and it is coming up fast. I am such a proud mom. On Wednesday I get the privilege of going to a Mothers tea with my sons. It is something the school puts on for seniors and their moms. I am looking forward to it very much. There is supposed to be a sli... Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:05:13 EST One of my workout buddies to the rescue... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5336752 Today I made it to the Y again for the 5th day this week! Goal one accomplished. I swam a mile on Monday! Goal two accomplished. I did a two swim on Wednesday and swam 44 laps! Goal three swimming a mile on Wednesday and Goal four getting more than 40 laps in accomplished. Swam more than a mile again today. Goal five accomplished. I have swam over four miles total this week! <BR> <BR> I did have trouble today though. I was really fighting to get in my mile today. I have a friend Kathy... Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:34:07 EST Made it to the Y again today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5334377 Three days in a row. I still don't want to be doing it but I am still going. So much in my life is out of my control right now. I am trying to deal with the things I can. One of those is my workout and another is my eating. I have started logging all my food again. If I can see how much I am eating it helps. <BR> <BR> I have gone to my workout so far every day this week. I am proud of that. I worked hard every day so far and I am proud of that. Logging my food again and I proud of ... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 16:35:53 EST Thank you all... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5332068 I really appreciate all the comments left here and on my page. It helps so much when I have a new comment cheering me on or giving me a bit of info that I may not know. It helps having my spark family. I am struggling something awful right now. My depression is creeping back in and I am finding it hard to get out of the house. I am still fighting it doing my best not to let it win, but last week I only got in two workouts during the week instead of five. Last week I declared Monday's mi... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 18:18:27 EST Monday is mile day... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5324387 I have decided that every Monday I am going to swim a mile in the pool. Today was the second time I have swam a mile and I did it in one hour thirty minutes. That is ten minutes faster than the last time I did it. If that doesn't show improvement I don't know what will. LOL. I am very happy with my progress. <BR> <BR> I am surprised with how out of breath I am still getting trying to walk short distances on land. I have improved before by doing water exercises so I am not sure what is... Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:14:51 EST Ten of the 15 I gained back after surgery gone... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5319903 Woo the frick who! Finally it is official I have the scale going back down! I have lost ten just five more to go before I can start moving my tracker here! I took two more days off after my Monday mile swim. Still not feeling great but don't want to lose my momentum. I am feeling really good about the scale. I feel great that I only went back up 15 before I got it under control. For me that is really something. This makes 3 years running now that I haven't gained back all the weight ... Thu, 11 Apr 2013 16:22:38 EST Haven't slept for three days... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5318737 Insomnia has set in. So now I have a cold and insomnia. I have taken the last two days off of my workout but want to be in the water. I am just worried I will make my cold worse. I think my immune system has been off since my surgeries. I rarely ever get colds. It is frustrating that I have had this for over a month now. <BR> <BR> I discovered that for swimming in pools you need a specific kind of bathing suit so I have now gotten almost enough to last a week of swimming. I just nee... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:09:52 EST Still fighting my horrible cold... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5316207 I am getting sick again and hadn't quite finished the last one. Ugg frustrating. I did however get my work out in again this morning first. I started the river but it was to crowded so decided to just swim laps. I swam 36 laps which is just over a mile! It took me an hour 40 but it was so worth it. I am so excited to have reached 36 laps. Last month I was lucky to get past 13 before the cramping started. Yeah me! Mon, 8 Apr 2013 18:12:04 EST Day 4 and still going strong... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5311829 Didn't want to go to the Y today but one of my workout buddies was going so I went. I didn't want to workout. My but is dragging and I am so tired. I set a goal of getting to the Y and doing a solid two hour workout each day this week. If it kills me I am going to do it! So I got in the water and I worked my tired but off. <BR> <BR> First I walked the river for an hour solid no stops. Then I got in the other pool and doggy paddled non stop for another hour. The pool is a competition s... Thu, 4 Apr 2013 19:37:51 EST Day 2 of kick ass exercise... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5309149 I did another hour of walking in the river and another hour of swimming laps. I really struggled with it today. My back was really hurting. I know if I keep at it my back will quit hurting. I am making it my goal to get through my whole week getting at least an hour of each. I am having a hard time not killing my calories though. The exercise makes me more hungry than ever. <BR> <BR> I have tried to put healthy snacks in my house as well as filling. I am wanting the scale to start go... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 16:53:00 EST Kicking but with my exercising... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5307855 I went and walked the river this morning for 1hr and 20 minutes with no resting. Then I moved over to the lap pool and swam 22 laps in 1 hr. I have only been able to get about 14 laps till today because my legs would start to cramp hard and I would be forced to get out. Today I was able to a whole hour with no resting. That is better than half a mile! My back started to ache pretty bad at lap 20 but since I wasn't cramping was determined to make my whole hour. I am very proud of myself.... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 17:25:01 EST Back in the water after my cold... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5304791 I have been back in the water for three days now and I am feeling way better. I still have a bit of a cough but overall much much better. I am looking forward to a weekend away. I am going to see an old friend. Am very excited. <BR> <BR> I have been told repeatedly the last few days that I have lost weight and all though the scale has gone down a little it is not enough to be noticeable. I must be toning! Yeah me. Fri, 29 Mar 2013 22:03:58 EST Cautiously Optimistic... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5292296 I woke up this morning and my cough seems less harsh and my nose less icky. I am hoping this means I am turning the corner and starting to feel better. I worked out the first two days I didn't feel well and it was fine. I workout in a swimming pool and on the third day I had an awful cough and runny nose. Didn't think that would work. So I have stayed at home since. I am hoping to feel good enough to go back soon. I have been trying to get motivated and had finally gotten there when I ... Tue, 19 Mar 2013 11:16:21 EST Horrible head cold... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5291010 I was doing awesome last week with my goal of going to the Y everyday last week and working really hard. Then I got sick... Now I've had to skip Friday and Monday. Why is it just when I finally feel like I am getting on track again I get knocked back down. This is really getting frustrating. I want to be at the gym I can't. By the time I can again I won't want to. I am so tired of this. Mon, 18 Mar 2013 11:43:18 EST Apparently not many suits hold up in chlorinated pools... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5283039 Almost all of the cute suits that I bought have turned into evening gowns! Not so fun to swim in. The lifeguards recommended the suits they wear and also any suit that is completely made of polyester. So I have started buying new suits again in polyester. I have found a few cute ones and just got one like the lifeguards use today. The ones they get are Krinkle suits. They are rather expensive but I found one brand new on ebay for only 40 dollars. That's like half price! Very excited. I... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 20:40:03 EST I struggle... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5280292 I'm tired of the struggle. Struggle to stand, struggle to walk, struggle to move. I want to enjoy my life without thinking about every step that I have to take to get where I want to go. The only way I can get to a place where the struggle is less, is to get my health back. That in itself is a struggle. <BR> <BR> I struggle to get up in the morning, I struggle to get in my bathing suit, I struggle to get out the door. Once I get to the gym I struggle to get out of the car, into the dr... Sat, 9 Mar 2013 16:31:21 EST Stuggling to remain positive... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5279156 I am still working out and my blood pressure seams to have finally calmed down. I lost 6 lbs this week which is good, but not enough to change my weight here. I had gained about 17 lbs back and so I am happy to see it going in the right direction. I feel blah today. I have been having a hard time with that for a while now. I think it goes back to my surgeries. I am finding it hard to get my motivation back again. I have continued to go to the Y but some days even though I am moving I a... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 16:55:30 EST Fricken doctors around here... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5266376 So I shared about my blood pressure the issues the other day and it hasn't gotten any better. I ended up in the ER they gave me more medicine to bring it down and then told me to follow up with my doctor. So I leave and within an hour it is back up into scary levels. I called my Doctors office and they have yet to call me back even after I explained what was going on. WTF! This is not normal. I don't have blood pressure problems like this. Shouldn't they be trying to figure out what is... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 19:05:50 EST Blood Pressure... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5260407 Got new meds for my blood pressure and am monitoring it several times daily. I know exercise and a better diet will help with this. In the meantime though I need to get the meds to the right amount so that I am not having issues with it. <BR> <BR> I have talked to a friend of mine Andi about working on this together. She is about the same size as me but she is shorter so she weights less. We have been working out together and she is diabetic too. She also has high blood pressure. So ... Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:16:05 EST I haven't stopped but... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5259030 I am struggling every day. I have found that I break down and cry all the time again and I can feel myself slowly slipping back down into a depression. I have to go to a cheap clinic due to health insurance and they suck there. I have had to be on anti depressants once before long ago and they helped to get me out of my depression and functioning again. The last time I brought it up to my health care professional and I use that term loosely, she told me I just need to get happy. I'm sitt... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 17:02:28 EST HELP... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5256126 I am so having trouble I am overeating and struggling to get to my workout. I seem to be slipping back towards my depression and I don't know how to get out of it. I am frustrated and confused. I don't know if it is because I am getting to the date of my first major goal and I am self sabotaging or if it is just the usual struggle. Either way having trouble. Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:41:59 EST Wacfit thanks for the idea... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5250751 I mentioned in my last blog trying to get a triathlon going at the Y to keep me going. If that doesn't happen and even if it does this could work as a good strategy for me to keep me going. I like improving on my speeds and distance. I find I work harder when alone but don't want to go alone. Thu, 14 Feb 2013 19:08:28 EST Doing good on exercise but... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5249001 I have still been struggling with my eating although it is getting better. I decided that I wanted to set a goal to work towards exercise wise. I have been getting the exercise in but have had to fight myself to get to the Y. I'm not sure what is going on with that but it is making me mad. I have stopped gaining wait and have started going back down on the scale. I had gained about 15 lbs back and that has really been bothering me. <BR> <BR> So back to the exercise goal. I have always w... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 11:35:50 EST Having trouble with the hungries... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5243883 Exercise on track, but I am eating to much. I should be loosing weight but instead I have gained a few pounds. I am on track to reach my fifty pound goal but I may be sabotaging myself. I am going to continue to exercise and continue to try to get my eating under control. The struggle never stops even when the motivation is there. Sat, 9 Feb 2013 11:33:29 EST You know your motivated when... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5241887 You give up sleep to get to the gym early. I had things to do today that would have cut into my gym time or made me skip it all together, but instead I got up early and got my workout in. I am really enjoying it. Starting to see some improvements and feeling better. Thu, 7 Feb 2013 17:09:26 EST Great workout... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5237738 I got in a fantastic workout today. None of my workout buddies showed today so I concentrated on my workout. It always seems to take forever when I am in the pool on my own. Today I decided to push myself a bit and see how it would go. I walked non stop in the river today for an hour and fifteen minutes and then switched to the lap pool for 45 minutes of lap swimming. I am dog tired but feel good at the same time. I feel like I am getting my feet back under me now. I am walking more and... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 20:21:15 EST