JUDDLL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JUDDLL JUDDLL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Much needed days... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6207209 Weight loss has slowed way down but it is still moving. At times I get frustrated and then something like this happens... I went to my sisters house to show her the jeans I got from Buckle. Nsv in itself, they are the second largest size they carry but I fit in them! But that is not what got to me. My niece stopped in while I was there and said you are looking so good Aunt Lo! When you ran into Chris (the father of her children and part of our lives for a long time now) he didn't even recogni... Tue, 26 Jul 2016 19:19:27 EST Designer jeans oh yeah... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6205819 I fit into the jeans that I have been dreaming about. I am in the largest size and the capris are full length jeans on me (didn't have to wait for them to be tailored) so I did it, I bought them. Now going through a bit of buyers remorse as I am still losing weight and they were expensive. However I have never been able to wear designer anything. So I just figure I will wear them everyday till they get to big and fall off of me. That way I will get a years worth of wear in the next couple of ... Sun, 24 Jul 2016 12:01:05 EST Yesterday my sons turned 21... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6202713 I have been wanting an updated pic of me and my sons for awhile now and as yesterday was their 21st birthday I thought it was the day. So I got the picture taken. I am surprised by the differences between then and 3 years ago when they graduated from high school. Feeling blessed to have such wonderful sons. <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/87090173-e382-4ab2-b6bb-a2e946c48680.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/07283352-f66f-4ff9-abdc-5fcffef0434a.JPG"> The... Mon, 18 Jul 2016 16:57:32 EST Oh the horrors... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6198138 Ok any of you complaining about hanging skin got nothing on me...Oh the humanity of it all. So the other day I rolled over in bed to get up and I am still not quite sure how I did it but I smacked myself hard in the face with my granny wobbles. I am pretty sure I saw stars. For months I have been looking at my body thinking I look like a giant wrinkle. I had not given much thought to my backside though until I sat down after just putting on my underwear as I was deciding what to wear then sto... Sun, 10 Jul 2016 14:24:32 EST Take my boobs... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6191821 Ok my boobs are so sad... I went from a 44DD to a 40F no idea what happened there but they looked like oranges in the bottom of tube socks. Now maybe apricots in the bottom of tube socks. The worst part is when I am wearing my jammies and have no bra on...I look like a flat chested boy! You can't even tell I have boobs. Just a couple months ago it was a squish to get them in the cups of that bra...now there is plenty of room. SMH. My weight loss is funny. It keeps coming off the top part of m... Wed, 29 Jun 2016 13:24:14 EST Doing stuff on my own... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6190593 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c6a9a29f-e2c9-4a84-a263-ba6121ebc2a3.jpg"> Yesterday I went out to pirate caves in Westport. I wouldn't have done this by myself a few months ago. I have started going out and doing things on my own because I want the exercise and I don't always have somebody to go with me. So I went out and I ran into a friend of mine who I went to high school with. The first words out of her mouth were hello Miss Skinny. So excited because I'm still 244 pound... Mon, 27 Jun 2016 13:49:57 EST Feeling hopefull... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6189014 So I have been buying clothes in all sizes down to a size 18. I hadn't purchased anything under this size because I have a mental block that makes it seem impossible for me to get below a size 18. Well the other day I was able to where a pair of size 18 pants that I bought a few months ago. These run a bit bigger than most but I am comfortably fitting into a 20 and my favorite jeans are a 22 and they are starting to get a bit loose on me. I have now bought a size 16 capri jean that is ver... Fri, 24 Jun 2016 18:59:57 EST Finding exercise wherever I go... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6187028 Yesterday I had to drive a friend to pick up a car she bought and it was quite a ways away. Spent about 8 hours in the car. At one point we had to pull over on the highway so she could insure the car because she forgot to do it. My body was aching for some movement so I got out of my car and started walking circles around both vehicles while she was on the phone. I walked the entire time she was on the phone and almost hit my step goal. I didn't worry about what the drivers in all the pa... Tue, 21 Jun 2016 15:43:03 EST 5K training in full tilt... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6183557 I did the hospital hill stairs which you can see in the pic, but you can't see all of them. There are close to 100 of them plus a slopped stretch in between. I did this twice in the rain and walked down the sidewalk at the top to get a rest in between doing the stairs. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/ebd78ca2-0aa2-405f-86a6-4fe20ea3f279.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The next day I went to the Y and swam 13 laps up and back and walked in the river. I hadn't quite reached my step g... Wed, 15 Jun 2016 18:00:05 EST Doing stairs by choice... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6180277 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/a66cf48b-f58d-42a2-8528-34930cdba0b0.jpg"> <BR> Yesterday I had my six month checkup in Seattle at Swedish. I wanted to try taking the stairs up to my appointment. I didn't have a lot of faith that I would make it all the way to my appointment but wanted to see how much I could do. We tried to enter on the first floor but couldn't get into the stairwell. I was determined so we took the elevator to the second floor and was able to get in. I... Fri, 10 Jun 2016 12:08:37 EST Started training... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6176443 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/8543a99e-4ca3-4f98-bf6c-0fa95b75187f.jpg"> So started training for my insane inflatables 5k today. I am exhausted, tired, and warn out. I went to the cancer walk that is going on this weekend and walked almost two miles on the track. It was hard and it took what felt like forever. Worse part is that I was doing it at 6:30 this morning. Lol! Then I headed to the Y and just played for a bit in the water. I then had some errands to do and h... Sat, 4 Jun 2016 15:35:56 EST Insane Inflatable Fun Run... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6175186 Someone posted on Facebook awhile back about the Insane Inflatable Fun Runs. The one in my state was about seven hours away and at the beginning of last month. I really wanted to go but knew my car would never make it. Also I don't know if I am quite ready for a 5K yet even if it is an inflatable one. I figured I would have to wait till next year. Well I just got my cute little car so now I know my vehicle will make it. I got to thinking about it and decided to look up runs in Oregon to see i... Thu, 2 Jun 2016 13:42:12 EST New car pic... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6173925 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/b04cd745-aecc-41f0-8a55-bb8bbd3f7f55.jpg"> I posted about getting a new car for my 150# loss. So since today is a beautiful day I thought I'd post a pic of me with my new car. I love the little bugger. I think she needs a name. Any suggestions? Tue, 31 May 2016 17:58:52 EST Wonder of wonder's... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6171723 I went to my sister's house yesterday and she wanted to take me out to the back yard to show me her new garden. It was windy and cold and I hadn't brought my jacket in with me. She handed me a coat and said try this on...before I would never have even tried it on. I took it from her thinking that's never going to fit me. I tried it on and it fit in my first arm which I didn't think it would because my granny wobbles are huge, then put my next arm in and it was comfortable through the shoulder... Sat, 28 May 2016 04:24:44 EST Thing they are a changin'... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6170160 I'm not at my goal yet but down 155lbs. I just realized that my brain is starting to catch up with what my body looks like. I look at myself in the mirror all the time and I look down at my stomach and legs all the time. I stare at my hands and my arms and I am finally seeing the amazing changes that I am creating. I am a little over 5 months out and today was my weigh in day. This is the first week that my scale didn't show a loss. In fact it showed a 1lb gain. I didn't cheat I didn't miss o... Wed, 25 May 2016 13:03:12 EST 156lbs down and was in need of a reward... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6168157 I was thinking about a tattoo or a new pair of tennis shoes then something happened... I went out to my car to head to poker and turned the key and it wouldn't start...I'm sure you can see where this is going...anyways had a mechanic check it out and he did some work and still no starting. I have been driving a 2001 Saturn sl2. I got a good deal on it I thought as it had only 79,000 miles on it when I got it in October. Well after putting almost $1000 into over the last two months and stil... Sun, 22 May 2016 13:01:37 EST I love this site... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6163495 I read every comment that I get here. I appreciate the love and support that I am shown by so many members of this community. I have struggled all my life with my weight and it will continue to be a struggle for the rest of my life. I am on top of that struggle at the moment for the most part. I know that I have to make a permanent change to become a long term success story. I am working on making that change. For the most part I have stayed strong and left the foods that are none of my bu... Sun, 15 May 2016 15:02:50 EST It's official 150lbs gone... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6160785 I am so excited to have lost so much. I feel better and look better. I am wearing sizes I haven't been able to wear in years. I'm moving and getting around easier. I still have a long way to go but wow look how far I've come! <BR> <BR> I ordered a few clothes items online the other day and it said they were supposed to be delivered. The mail man will sometimes just drop the packages at the door without knocking which drives me crazy. It got past the time for the mail to come and I ha... Wed, 11 May 2016 11:37:21 EST Omg! Omg! My towel went all the way around me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6160201 I couldn't believe it when I got out of the shower today and was drying off. I looked up and caught my reflection in the mirror. I thought wait a minute it looks like my towel may go all the way around me...??? So I gave it a try and it did...tummy and all! I was so excited I ran into my sons room to show him. He looked at me and said wow mom, do you realize that is one of our smaller towels. What!!! Mind blown. Almost wanted to just wear the towel for the day! Then my senses came to m... Tue, 10 May 2016 14:43:18 EST Okay needing more recovery time than I thought... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6159664 I have been off since getting back from Seattle. On Friday I started running a fever. I ended up in the ER this morning as I couldn't get into my doctors office. Turns out I have a really bad UTI and it is giving me the fever but no other symptoms. When I got there though they put a gown on the bed for me and my first thought was hmm they must have gotten new gowns. I then went to put it on and realized it was a regular size gown not the jumbo size one I used to get. I was amazed that i... Mon, 9 May 2016 20:42:17 EST Wow...just wow... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6156435 I had to go to Seattle and testify in a court hearing over the last couple of days. I stayed in a hotel where the beds were just to hard. I didn't get much in the way of sleep. We drove to Mercer Island in the morning to meet up with another person and then had to bus it in from there due to traffic backups and no parking. Once off the bus we had to walk a block and a half up hill to get to the courthouse. Not a really steep slope but a slope none the less. Then after court we had to walk 4 b... Wed, 4 May 2016 18:21:48 EST Cize is on... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6150728 I have no rhythm but need an exercise program for at home. I love going to the Y but am discovering that I am so cold afterwards it is hard to warm up. So I saw some posts in my support group about this program and decided to give it a try. I ordered it online and can't wait for it to get here. Hope my knees can handle it. <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/5445d848-339e-4455-ad53-816d1d3a11e2.JPG"> Tue, 26 Apr 2016 12:03:07 EST Loving shopping for new clothes... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6147499 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/71e769ad-0402-44fd-b775-489d5f9f6fc2.jpg"> White size 22 jeans with no stretch and size 20 shirt down from 32-34 very stretchy clothes. Best part? The whole outfit cost $11.00. Not sure about white jeans but at that price I couldn't pass the up. Thu, 21 Apr 2016 20:40:55 EST Just had four month check up... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6146575 It was an eventful day. I have to travel to Seattle and that is about 2.5 hours away. I was picking up a friend but my car over heated so I had to go grab my skinny sisters car 20 minutes in the wrong direction! I got there feeling rushed grabbed her car hopped in the front seat and took off... About 5 minutes down the road I realize I didn't adjust the seat before I got in, and there was a little room between me and the wheel! Mind blown! <BR> <BR> Then I got up to the hospital and we we... Wed, 20 Apr 2016 14:52:49 EST Funny thing... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6142357 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/fce7d331-2e2d-401c-a9ea-0a32fafda59d.jpg"> <BR> I have had trouble seeing my weight loss. So I did pictures yesterday to show the difference and then I went to Walmart with a friend. I decided to get a different visual so I took a hundred and thirty-five pounds of potatoes and put them in a shopping cart. That's how much weight I've lost so far. Shows more of my spark page because it's more from my highest weight but that's a hundred and thirty... Thu, 14 Apr 2016 17:23:34 EST I needed a before and after... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6141505 <BR> 'So I have always hated my picture being taken and that hasn't changed. Lol. However I seem to have hit my first stall and needed to see how far I have come. Thanks to a friend of mine I found a ton of before pics on Facebook that I didn't even know existed. I have only lost 6lbs in the last 4 weeks but I can still see a difference. The picture of me in the turquoise top is the fist time I could really see the difference. I am thankful for my journey and all the support I have gotten. I... Wed, 13 Apr 2016 13:25:21 EST The reality of losing weight in your boobs... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6140268 Ok this has been an eventful day...First went back to the Y again and got in a full workout and met my step goal which is way lower than I would like but should bump up over the next few days. The big thing was after working out in the water at a pretty good pace for an hour I walked out of the pool and didn't feel like someone just added 400lbs to my knees! I didn't want to cry or need to slow down my pace...I was so shocked by this. <BR> <BR> Next headed to walmart to try and find a few ne... Mon, 11 Apr 2016 21:36:49 EST Looking forward to this... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6139284 I was with my sister the other day and she was wearing a really cute pair of jeans. I commented on how cute they were. She said that was the first time I ever looked at her clothes with a look that said "I'm going to get me a pair of those!" and she has been waiting for that look. She then told me about the awesome store she got them at. It's called Buckle. You go in tell them what size you are and what style you like. They then put you in a dressing room and bring you all the pairs in that s... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 17:43:51 EST Some recent NSV's... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6139141 I just realized how comfortable I was sitting in the stylists chair when I got my hair cut! It's usually quite painful. The bars used to push in on my thighs and when I got up it would hurt for days. This time in and out no problem. Also my stomach wasn't huge under the cape they put on you. <BR> <BR> I was able to do a load of laundry on my own for the first time in around six years. My sons have been doing the laundry, but have been gone at a friends house for the last week. I don't... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 13:12:54 EST I bought a few things that fit... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6138051 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/40a7629c-85c3-47e9-ad53-0bf680d854cc.jpg"> <BR> I went toSears and found a really good sale I got 3 shirts a dress and a pair of really nice dressy Capris for under $35 and I got my sister a full set of pajamas at the same time. I haven't had clothes that really fit for a few months now, and it was starting to really bother me. Everything was just swimming on me. I've done all this work and a lot of people we're noticing it in my face but not n... Fri, 8 Apr 2016 18:53:14 EST I went back to the Y... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6136406 Yesterday was my first day back at the Y and it was wonderful and awful all at the same time! It's spring break and there were a ton of kids there. I still got in my steps but it was harder as I was dodging kids the whole time and they are not so good about dodging you. It felt good to be back in the water. I bought a new suit and I tried it on but decided not to wear it at the last minute. I didn't feel it fit good enough and was worried I would have to keep pulling the bottoms up thinki... Wed, 6 Apr 2016 14:06:31 EST I nearly peed my pants... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6134913 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/bcfc739d-5605-42df-a0f7-357880f674aa.jpg"> <BR> I wore that pair of khaki capris that I got at the thrift store yesterday. They have no stretch at all to them. And they have a zipper and button. I didn't realize this would be a problem having not worn anything with a zipper or button in it for about 10 years. But after a night out with friends and drinking a ton of water I came home and really had to go to the bathroom. So I get in there and I ... Mon, 4 Apr 2016 16:57:52 EST 20 minute bike ride done! ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6134044 I just did my first bike ride of the year! I wasn't sure how my bottom would handle it after hemorrhoid surgery and it was a little painful but not bad. I wanted to ride longer but didn't want to push it on my first outing. I am happy that I was able to get some exercise in. My left knee has been acting up and it didn't like the bike ride so much either but all together it was so doable. My car is broke down at the moment so even if I can't get to the Y I can still get in some exercise! ... Sun, 3 Apr 2016 14:52:12 EST The struggle is real... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6131952 Nuts...I can no longer eat nuts. I can but I can't stop and that is the problem. I haven't lost much weight the last couple of weeks. In fact just over 1 lb each week. I was warned that around this time three months out I would likely hit a stall. I don't know if it is the stall, the lack of movement or the nuts, but either way I am going to change the two that I can. <BR> <BR> My head cold is almost gone. I was wanting to go to the Y today but my car is being worked on the next two ... Thu, 31 Mar 2016 19:06:58 EST Overall doing pretty good... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6127703 I still have some bad days after pooping but for the most part I can get out of the house everyday if I choose too. My pouch has some bad days now and again but there too, I am feeling good. <BR> <BR> I went shopping with my friend Ginger the other day and I bought a new swimsuit. I thought it was so pretty in a mint green with a crochet type overlay. I just love it. I bought it a couple sizes smaller than the suits I have been wearing but it has been a couple months since I have been ... Fri, 25 Mar 2016 23:19:32 EST Super Morbidly obese no more... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6120738 As of today I have taken the last pink sticker and a couple yellow stickers off of my goal chart. I color coded them so I would know when I went from one obesity level to the next. I was categorized as super morbidly obese and now I am just morbidly obese. Still doesn't feel all the great to be morbidly obese however I didn't even know they had a worse category than that or that I was in it, until I started this journey in the summer. I am down 129lbs since this summer. I am down a whole ... Wed, 16 Mar 2016 15:27:17 EST General update... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6119991 I had a doctors appointment today with the doctor that did my hemorrhoid surgery and I can now go back to the Y! I am so excited about that you just wouldn't believe it. However I now have a horrible head cold so I can't actually go to the Y just yet. Soon though! I wonder if any of my swimsuits are going to fit? Lol! I have been down and out for almost a month and a half over this last health issue. The recovery is hard. I'm am three weeks out from surgery and still hurting but not as... Tue, 15 Mar 2016 16:47:18 EST My clothes they are a going... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6116888 I am wearing a pair of stretch pants that used to be hard to get up and then hurt my stomach because of the band around the waist. Today they need to be pulled up and look like clown pants. Thank god I went thrift store shopping or I'd be naked soon! I hate seeing all my cute expensive clothes getting so big that I need to pass them on, but I am still glad that it is happening. <BR> <BR> Still recovering from the hemorrhoid surgery. Man this is slow going. I've had some good days and so... Fri, 11 Mar 2016 14:52:00 EST I got a pair of sparkly butt jeans... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6113788 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/8afd32a3-c2fb-4977-9f33-3c24dbb6f7b0.jpg"> <BR> Omg so excited. I got a pair of sparkly butt jeans for $1.50! I spent under $25 and came home with 13 items. I got the jeans in a 1x I can get them on and pull them up but I can't zip them up yet. I got a Speedo swimsuit for a buck! A really cute dress, a jacket, a bra, a pair of khaki capris, and the rest are tops. I can't believe how good I did! This is the dress I bought <BR> Wal-Mart the ot... Mon, 7 Mar 2016 20:43:15 EST Spending the day with my sister... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6113455 Today my sister and I are going out to lunch and then we are headed to some thrift stores to find me some clothes! I still probably have plenty but of the ones I have most of them swim on me. I have been working hard to lose this weight and I want it to show. I am finally at the point where people are noticing and complimenting me on my appearance. Yesterday I had a friend tell me I look 100% better. I didn't know weather to be flattered or insulted. Lol. I chose flattered. <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 7 Mar 2016 12:39:16 EST Finally after nearly two weeks... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6112163 I felt good enough to leave my house today. Hemorrhoid surgery sucks. I wasn't sure how well it would go so I asked a friend out to lunch at a place close to home. I had a nice shrimp salad with ranch on the side and didn't even eat half of it. Afterwards I was still feeling quite good so I continued on to Walmart to get a few groceries and other needed items. <BR> <BR> While I was there I decided to try on a few items and see what size I am in. I haven't really tried on things in awhi... Sat, 5 Mar 2016 20:50:33 EST This is hard... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6107121 Still recovering from hemorrhoid surgery and fissure repair and it's not going well. I have been nauseous the last two days and eating has been an issue. I just got in my first food a greek yogurt and it was a struggle. I have been getting in some liquids not as much as I would like, but enough that I won't dehydrate... I feel like I am blocked but talked to my bariatric surgeon today to see what he had to say and he thinks I am still doing alright. He had me add in fiber to my list of stu... Sun, 28 Feb 2016 22:05:38 EST Surgery done... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6103853 The doctor wasn't kidding when he said this would be painful. I feel that my high pain tolerance is really helping me out. I am having to take the pain meds which are making me itchy ugg, but overall I am doing alright. <BR> <BR> Without exercise and having surgery on Monday I only lost a little over a pound this week. I kind of expected that. I am happy to have lost anything at all. Next week hopefully I will get my weight loss back on track. My eating and everything is good when I c... Wed, 24 Feb 2016 14:20:36 EST Surgery tomorrow... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6101262 I am ready for this surgery tomorrow. I hope it can fix my issue. I am afraid to poop and afraid not to. I never know when I am going to be left crying for the day. After my surgery I am still going to be afraid to poop until I heal. The surgeon said this is one of the most painful surgeries you can have. I am not looking forward to that. I have a high pain tolerance and hope that will help me with this. I also heal very well. I am hoping this surgery will go as well as all my others... Sun, 21 Feb 2016 12:42:59 EST Remembering... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6099831 The last few days I have been thinking a lot about the people I have lost over the years. I saw a post on Facebook about sitting on a bench with one person and who it be. This got me thinking about who I would choose. I have lost so many. I came to the conclusion that I would probably choose my nephew Randy. It may be because the anniversary of his passing is almost here, or that I know it would help to give peace to my sister, but it would be so nice if we could have some closure. <BR> ... Fri, 19 Feb 2016 13:01:41 EST Monday can't get here soon enough... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6098223 I've never been one to look forward to surgery. But I'm in the middle of having another agonizing day of pain. The crappy thing is the worst part is the fissure and it's only a 50 50 on whether this will fix it or not. I can't do anything when this is bad. I have to practically spend the day in a hot tub. That's the only time I get any relief at all and with the fissureI don't even get it for very long in the tub. All I want to do is cry all day. I so want to be working out at the Y. This re... Wed, 17 Feb 2016 13:40:56 EST I haven't been able to hit the gym in about a week... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6097318 With all the pain I have been experiencing and the fact that cold water makes the hemorrhoid problem worse I have been stuck at home. I am feeling it too. I want to be at the gym. I did get an appointment today with the surgeon at noon. I hope we can get it taken care of. I want this issue resolved. I am on the right track with my weight loss and these set backs although not stopping me from losing weight are stopping me from getting healthy. I truly feel that without the exercise compo... Tue, 16 Feb 2016 12:22:06 EST 298.6 So that just happened... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6096313 I just got on the scale and I'm under 300lbs! I was so shocked when my weight started with a 2 that I had to get off the scale and get back on to hear how much I weighed. I haven't been under 300lbs in probably 10 years. I just hit that next big milestone. So the next big goal I have set is the 250lb mark. It is very exciting seeing the numbers go down. It isn't my official weigh in day yet, so I haven't recorded it yet but I knew I was getting close. <BR> <BR> So on a not so pleasan... Mon, 15 Feb 2016 09:27:26 EST Gotta love good friends... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6093637 Yesterday I went to play poker with a group of friends and one of the ladies was eating Bugles...I turned to my friend sitting next to me and asked "Is it wrong that I want to know her down and eat her Bugles?" The lady eating the bugles offered me some and I said no thank you they would be a slider food for me. They then went into this long conversation about how they just aren't as good as they used to be. Lol. They all know what I have been going through. I saw right through it, but it... Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:50:57 EST Ok so here they are... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6092552 Keep in mind I have not mastered the art of the selfie... <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f11bb07d-16b1-48af-8b76-546d616fd1e9.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/019ad3b3-04f5-41aa-9e43-e0ca7d44f340.jpg">. <BR> The current photo was taken before I reached the hundred pound gone mark but I was really close, and as you can see selfies are not my best skill. However no matter how bad the picture I am 100lbs lighter! <BR> <BR> Today was my weigh in day and I... Wed, 10 Feb 2016 09:17:21 EST