JPGSMOM's SparkPeople Blog JPGSMOM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The next step for me So, I have to admit, I've been wavering lately. Disgruntled is probably a better word for it. I'm 43, going through menopause according to my Doc. I've been back on SP for just shy of 50 days now. I've started back slowly. Starting to account for what I ate regardless of whether or not I went over, so I could understand how I was eating again. It did wonders for me, and gave me a serious happy boost that I needed. I've been religious about tracking my food ever since, and have been abl... Thu, 28 Jul 2016 07:39:31 EST 28 days in... Today marks my first month tracking and getting reinvolved with SP. All I can say is I am MUCH happier than I was a month ago. A month ago, I was at my breaking point with stress. I carried in in every aspect of my life, work, home, kids, hubby, friends.... I felt stress and anxiety everywhere. Most of all, stress with feeling powerless, and in a complete tailspin with my weight. I know I carry a lot of internal demons with my weight. I've struggled with it my entire life. I've been o... Tue, 5 Jul 2016 08:52:48 EST Cravings, and Emotions, and left over cake, oh my! I'm two weeks in, and today is the first really hard craving day I've had. I'm finding it so hard to resist that left over cake I made my hubby for fathers day yesterday. And that is why I'm blogging today. I don't want to overeat... especially not today... <BR> <BR> I'm making a correlation to my strong cravings today, and the pain and sadness I'm feeling because of a family issue back home that I just discovered last night. <BR> <BR> I've seen too many families torn apart because of pe... Mon, 20 Jun 2016 13:58:04 EST 10 days and counting... Today is day 11 of my re-commitment to losing weight and being healthy. I'm feeling so much more in control of everything in my life since my last blog. Roughly two weeks ago, I was so overwhelmed with everything. I think it was that brink that made me take action. <BR> <BR> The first week, I lost 3 pounds, but then gained 1 back. But to be honest, my scale is very unpredictable. I can literally stand on it multiple times consecutively, and get a different reading every time. I do need... Sat, 18 Jun 2016 10:16:50 EST Too much, and not enough me... How does a person actually find balance? Sometimes I think I have it, and other times I feel completely lost in an abyss. That’s how I feel today… Completely lost… Work is completely stressful. Too many meetings, not enough time to get real work done. I feel pulled in too many directions. I had big plans at the beginning of this year to give myself much needed breaks each day. I was going to go for small power walks, and actually scheduled time in on my work calendar to go do it. But,... Tue, 7 Jun 2016 15:09:02 EST First Goal: Accountability and Awareness This is my first blog post in almost a year. I took a break from SP after I found out I was pregnant with my second son. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was very determined to try to keep doing SP throughout. Obviously not to lose weight, but rather to manage my weight gain through the pregnancy. I put forth a noble effort, but I ultimately gave it up. I had a hard time dealing with my weight gain after working so hard to lose it. Eventhough I was pregnant, my mind had a hard time w... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 07:53:19 EST My Call Back to Reality Last Friday was an eye-opener for me. It was the first time I chose to Blog since finding out I was pregnant. By the time I was about 3 months along, my Sparking was sketchy at best. I was inconsistent with logging my food, and my will to walk on my treadmill was becoming more an more infrequent. I'd have to say, I went through a lot of emotions when I found out I was pregnant. Elated of course that I'm FINALLY having another baby, but if I'm to be completely honest here, I was also comp... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 19:22:23 EST Trying to stay positive about my body through my pregnancy. So, here I am, nearing 5 months of my pregnancy. I'm filled with every emotion you can imagine. Having this baby is what I strived for back when I first started SP. I wanted to lose weight and get healthy so that this could even be a possibility for me. I'm 40 years old, post kidney transplant, and this is my second son. My oldest is 8 now. I'm nervous about starting the baby phase all over again. It's been a long time since I've changed a diaper and was up at night. I also worry abo... Fri, 20 Sep 2013 07:40:44 EST Thankful for my Spark Friends Just a shout-out to my awesome Spark friends. You've inspired me more than you know recently, during a time when I've needed you most. Thank you!!! <BR> <em>220</em> <em>252</em> <em>386</em> <em>381</em> Tue, 9 Jul 2013 13:00:11 EST Thank goodness for this week's little blessings I don't think it was one thing alone, but likely a combination of things, but this week, I've felt more like myself in a very long time. It's the first week in I don't know how long, that I've been staying within my calorie range CONSISTENTLY, and getting my fitness focus back up to where I like to keep it. I've felt my determination coming back slowly to keep those late afternoon snack attacks under control (ok, let's call them what they are, "gorging!") I've been incorporating mindful ea... Thu, 30 May 2013 07:38:20 EST Detoxing My Body and My Mind I spent a VERY relaxing Girls weekend up North with my dear family... I look forward to this outing each year. It is a true vacation that is responsibility free. There's just one problem... I am from a family of big eaters, and I fit right in! Along with all of the lounging that comes with Girls Weekend, comes a weekend filled with stuffing my face. And that's pretty much exactly what I did. I've been wavering back and forth for months trying to get back on track, just towing the line.... Mon, 20 May 2013 21:18:06 EST Trying to be satisfied with less than 2000 again. 2000 calories... That is what I've been hanging at for awhile now. This surpasses my goal by about 350 calories. I can tell you there was a time for much of last year, where staying within my caloric goals was dare I say "easy". I was motivated, I told my cravings who was boss. But, I haven't been that same person for quite a few months now. I held on and maintained my weight for quite awhile, while I kept up with my cardio, but for the last month that has been slipping too. I've gaine... Mon, 13 May 2013 22:16:59 EST Why is convincing myself to exercise hard, when I feel so great afterwards? Ever ask yourself this question? Why is it so hard to motivate myself to just get up and move my butt, when I feel so great after I've worked out? I just got off the treadmill, and I feel great! My mood is light, I feel happy, I feel cleansed... So, why is staying motivated so darn hard sometimes? Just a question I'm asking myself today..... Sun, 7 Apr 2013 11:46:47 EST Finding Me Again For several weeks, dare I say months now... I've been floundering. Not consistently tracking, not consistently exercising... Doing bare minimum to get by... Work has been very high stress lately. I've taken on a new role that I really didn't want in the first place. I'm so saddened inside me, because I am one of those rare people who truly loved what she did for a living. Now, I'm being "groomed" into a new direction from one of my higher-ups... I absolutely hate it. I can't say that at... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 21:06:27 EST Maintaining isn't enough I continue to feel lost this last week. I've been very lax about logging in my food again this week. I tried to stay consistent only about 1/2 the time. I have been exercising, and was SOOO happy to see that I earned that 250 fitness minute award last week for the month of March. That is a success, and I am celebrating it! But, I continue to be spiraling downward with my food intake. I think part of my problem is that I haven't been doing planned grocery shopping for the last month or s... Sun, 17 Mar 2013 10:38:09 EST Feeling Lost Lately, my will power has been wavering. I haven't been logging in like I should, tracking like I should... Sigh.... Whatever is going on with me lately has me worried. My cravings are hard to resist right now. I feel like I'm falling into my old lifestyle, and it scares the heck out of me. I'm here today writing this blog for nothing more than accountability reasons. I just feel a need to admit my shortcomings right now. I just finished logging in my breakfast, and am off to my treadmi... Sat, 9 Mar 2013 11:57:13 EST A Week Without Sweets I have a HUGE sweet tooth. It is my downfall. I would pick any type of candy, cookie, cake, whatever before any salty snack you could put in front of me. I was so proud of myself to get through the holidays without gaining any weight. It was a TRUE challenge that had me stressed out for weeks at a time over the holidays. I finally decided to give in, and allow myself what I wanted to enjoy, and made up for it in exercise. Some may think I was weak to give in to the temptations, but I do... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:07:03 EST Celebrating A Year With SparkPeople This week, I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of adding SparkPeople to my life. What a difference this had made! This time last year, I remember being at the end of my rope with myself... Lots of feelings... Failure, hopelessness, anger, sadness, disappointment. I felt like I was on my way down... And why should I have felt that way? I had just been given the gift of a lifetime... A new kidney! After my transplant, I slowly realized that it wasn't my failing kidney itself that was making... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 13:27:41 EST Enjoying My New Cookbook! This year, I was so happy to receive a cookbook for Christmas that I had been wanting for quite sometime. It is called Eat What You Love by Marlene Koch. After thumbing through it for a few days marking pages of what I wanted to try first, I decided on the Skillet Chicken Parmesan for supper last night. Let me tell you... This recipe was VERY easy to make, and SO VERY tasty!!! The chicken coating really has that great "fried" taste, but doesn't pack a guilt trip! I bulked it up with stea... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 08:19:06 EST Finally!... My decision about what is realistic for me through the Holidays! So, ever since Halloween, I've been stressing about how to get through the holidays. It's been one temptation after another for the last two months! All in all, I'd like to say I've been doing well, but mentally, I think all I've bee doing is driving myself crazy! Do I aim for continuing weight loss or don't I?... What is realistic for me right now? Well after weeks and weeks of agonizing, I realize now that the decision was already made for me when I first blogged about this delimma. Ma... Thu, 20 Dec 2012 20:39:32 EST Trying to stay strong I took a brutal hit over Thanksgiving with my weight loss plans. I have nobody to blame but myself. Complete self-inflicted. Honestly though, mentally at the time, I was ok with going "all-in" for one day, but somehow I have ended up sabotaging myself. Ever since Thanksgiving, that old familiar feeling of needing to feel "full" has been setting back in. I guess it's making me think about what it really means to be "full". Because for me, I know I need to stop eating before I feel "full"... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 06:28:37 EST Is loosening up for the upcoming holidays heading me for failure? Oh my.... How I've been struggling with this for the past few weeks! It all started back around Halloween time... Everyone knows this is a hard time of year to "stay good". Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas... It's like a 2 month span of treats just waiting to hop into my mouth! So, I've been so proud of myself this year. I've been working hard, staying consistent... Sure I've had some falls along the way, but this year has been different for me, because I get up and dust myself off and ... Fri, 16 Nov 2012 10:24:53 EST What is a truly realistic goal for me to get through the holidays? Halloween is right around the corner... With that will be all the treats that come home with my son from trick or treating... I also just helped my best friend celebrate her 43rd birthday this weekend. With that, I made her favorite pie. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks too... Yes, the whole spread will be at my house. Then, there is the holiday cookie bake day that my family does together. And of course, the grand finally of it all... Christmas... So many wonderful things to look forward... Sun, 28 Oct 2012 14:38:27 EST Tears in the Dressing Room I am going on 10 months now with SparkPeople. In that time I've lost 42 pounds, which is honestly something I really never thought I could achieve. (At least 10 months ago, I couldn't!) Over the last decade, I have pretty much lived in a size 18. Sometimes, they were looser, sometimes they were pretty tight. When I started SP in January, I was at a busting point in my pants, and probably should have been wearing a size 20. But that is when I finally wrapped my mind around the idea that ... Fri, 28 Sep 2012 18:07:25 EST Personal Epiphany A funny thing happened yesterday. I was having a conversation with a close friend, and the topic turned to my weight loss. Out of nowhere, the words coming out of my mouth just got VERY real. About how unhappy I was with my appearance, how much that destroyed my self image, how much I still have to go to gain a healthy self image back. And I don't mean by losing more weight, I mean, mentally. The challenge is still there for me to believe and see that I am a healthier version of myself n... Fri, 21 Sep 2012 07:52:44 EST Too much work, not enough me This has been a very hard string of weeks. Work has been crazy, frantic, busy beyond belief. For the last year, I've been working very hard to get promoted, but I'm starting to think "at what cost?" For the last 3 weeks, work has been my entire focus, taking time away from my family, and time away from me taking care of me. I've put in only minimal workouts this week, and I'm saddened at that. Although work is work, and I NEED to do that, I decided to take this weekend for myself and my ... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:17:07 EST Looking back on my "Bouncy Scale" Challenge So last week I blogged about being "chained" to my scale. I made a pledge to myself not to weigh myself until a week's time had passed by.... I tried very hard, but I just had to take a peek come Wednesday morning. But, hey, at least I was down a pound. So, as happy as that made me, I told myself to keep going. I didn't weigh in again until this Saturday, and my weight was the same! That was cause for celebration I tell you! Ok, so I didn't quite make it the whole week, but I wasn't c... Sun, 19 Aug 2012 19:56:22 EST Discovering "PB2" I've recently discovered an extraordinary alternative to traditional peanut butter while I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law a couple of weeks ago. It's called PB2, by Bell Plantation. And IT'S AWESOME! Truly, it is a peanut butter lovers dream come true. All the peanut taste, but 85% less fat! Perhaps I'm late to this discovery, but I've been so happy with it, that I just had to share. I have been deeply in love with peanut butter since I was a young girl. But anyone who enjoy... Wed, 15 Aug 2012 09:25:10 EST My "Bouncy" Scale So this past Sunday, I challenged myself to do the 7-day bootcamp workout series. I'm on day 6, and so far, I have to say, I've really enjoyed adding the variety to my workout routines. Since I've started SP, I was mainly focused on cardio, and didn't give much thought to strength training, so this was a good intro for me. I've been adding the 10min bootcamp video workouts on top of my regular cardio, and have overall been feeling very well. I've had a very strenuous work week, and I thin... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:50:25 EST This "Stale" mode scares me. Over the last few weeks, I've been in a "stale" mode. The scale just hasn't dropped much in the last couple of months. I feel like I may be "easing" off my commitments, and that scares me. I've read quite a few motivational blogs lately that people are seeing results in their mesasurements and abilities even if the scale isn't as accepting of showing hard work. I think I am at that point in my journey. I've focused solely on the scale since I've started and haven't taken the time to do m... Sun, 5 Aug 2012 09:34:04 EST Back From Vacation Today was my first day back home after a week long vacation in Montana. I was out there visiting my brother and his family. It really was a GREAT time away. We did lots of visiting, and he took me to see YellowStone Park. It was just the best time! I haven't seen my brother in about 7 years, so it was VERY long overdue. Before my trip, my excitement and anticipation was equally matched with worry and dread. It would be my first significant time away from home since I had started SP. A... Sun, 29 Jul 2012 19:10:40 EST UGH! Why Have I Gained Weight This Week? This week seems to be a bit of a struggle for me. I have gained 4 pounds in just a matter of 3 days. Why?? Ok, rundown... what's going on with me this week??? <BR> <BR> 1) My Nephrologist has been changing around my meds. (I'm assuming this may be a large contributor, but I can't blame it all on this!) <BR> <BR> 2) I have not met my 8-glass minimum of water any day this week. <BR> <BR> 3) I HAVE been exercising routinely, and am actually having an above average week for fitness m... Sat, 14 Jul 2012 08:50:11 EST An Unexpected Compliment Today I received a compliment about my weight loss, quite unexpectedly, from a male coworker. Now before I receive any razzing, you have to understand, that I've been married for 20 years, and with being heavy for a good portion of that time, am not used to hearing things like this from a man's perspective from anyone except my husband. The comment was innocent and I took it as just plain friendly. He told me that I was doing a good job, and that it looked like I've been working hard, but ... Wed, 11 Jul 2012 18:17:39 EST Things I Like About The New Me Today, I weighed in, and realized that I am 1 lb away from the original goal of 40lbs that I set for myself back in January. I am full of pride in myself for coming this far. These are some of the things that I like about me today that wasn't possible just a few months ago... <BR> <BR> 1) I can see the bottom of my scar without having to lift my gutt up. <BR> 2) I don't have the chipmunk cheeks that I once had. <BR> 3) I can do 30+ minutes of cardio without feeling like I'm going to pas... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 13:07:21 EST Birthday Cake And A Bad String Of Days So, last week was awesome! I was totally in the groove. Kept within my nutrition limits every day of the week, and I had my best fitness week since I've started. I was totally on top of the world to see that I had lost 1 pound in less than a week. Awesome.... Ok, now let's skip to this week. I had a very busy week, working lots over time. Which is lame for a number of reasons. The biggest being time taken away from my kid, and time taken away from me for taking care of myself (a.k.a. ... Sat, 30 Jun 2012 21:48:06 EST The Battle of Good and Evil at the Local A&W It was Tuesday after work, and it already felt like I had worked the whole week. Hubby was going to be gone that evening, so it was just me and the little kidd-o for supper. I've been really craving some good old cheesy comfort food. Something that really stuck to my ribs. But, I had worked late that day, and in no way felt like cooking. So, should we go out, should I just make sandwiches, what??? Finally eating out won. We live in a small town, so our options are limited. So, my typi... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:00:29 EST Affirmation Today, I enjoyed a great visit with a friend that I haven't seen in a long time. She is the first person that I've come across that has commented right away on the change in me. I mean, she is someone who hasn't seen me day in - day out over the last several months, so she noticed my weight loss right away. It was so affirming! I felt like it was exactly what I have been waiting to hear! Don't get me wrong, I have great support from a lot of people, and their encouragement is what helps ... Thu, 14 Jun 2012 21:30:31 EST Struggling With My Water Intake I'm really noticing that I've been struggling with my water intake. I really need to bump it up. I have good intentions in the morning hours, and do well with sipping throughout the morning. But, then my work day get's hectic, and I'm forgetting about that jug sitting next to me. Right now, I have a 64oz insulated cup that I have at my desk. But I'm finding that I just don't grab it when I go off to meetings. Really, because it's too darn heavy to carry around everywhere! :-) So, I'm ... Wed, 6 Jun 2012 20:06:38 EST Dropped BMI Surprise! Today I jumped on the scale, and was very happy to see that I have dropped 2 lbs this week! Mostly because I feel that I've been back on track after the whole "pizza" incident earlier in the week. While I was changing my weight status I noticed that my BMI has dropped 5 points since I started in January! Yea me! So, I started playing with the BMI calculator, and I am only 2 lbs away from being out of the "obese" classification. Wow! I'm so excited for that! Another refreshing goal that... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 16:22:29 EST Alone With a Pizza Ok, I woke up this morning feeling that it was absolutely necessary for me to blog today. Here is why... Yesterday was a pretty decent day. I was mindfully making nutritious choices all day, until suppertime that is. I had a long day at work, and didn't get home until nearly 6:30 (I start at 6am). I decided I would stop and grab a Papa Murphys pizza on the way home. Which seems to have been our stand-in supper whenever I work late. Well, my hubby and son decided to go fishing after sch... Fri, 1 Jun 2012 07:31:22 EST Goodbye 30lbs, I won't miss you! Today is a monumental day for me! First and foremost, let me start by saying thank you to the soul that gave me their kidney last year. Friday was my one year anniversary for having my transplant, and I'm still in awe of all the blessings this has been for me! I can't thank you enough or express what this has brought to my life! I am living again! And this has meant more than you can know to me and to my family! <BR> <BR> I have another reason to celebrate.... Today, I am 30lbs lighter... Sun, 27 May 2012 10:46:01 EST Stress is an ugly enemy. It's been a hard few weeks. I've been trying to get over a cold for weeks now. Work has been crazy. Lots of overtime, and this weekend was no exception. Plus, my hubby has been out of town for the last 3 weekends in a row. I need some "girl" time, and I'm just not sure when I'm going to get it. I had plans to go out of town with the girls this last weekend, but work obligations put those plans right out the window. Just one evening for myself is all I ask for right now. One evening th... Mon, 21 May 2012 13:30:35 EST Dealing with a weekend of "Celebration" Twas a happy weekend all around. Saturday, I attended a wedding, and of course Sunday, celebrated Mother's Day. Beautiful events, but what I am stuck on is the garbage intake of foods I ultimately indulged in over the entire weekend. Let's see, there was that bag of cheese curds, the cupcake, the slice of turtle cheesecake, and of course another slice of angel food cake. Yikes, put it all together and it was a weekend disaster for my personal goals. Why oh why is it so hard to make the... Mon, 14 May 2012 13:06:18 EST Hey! I think I've lost one of my chins!!! Today I'm feeling particular happy and satisfied with myself. I went clothes shopping for the first time in a very long time yesterday, and I was surprised to see that I am fitting into size 16 pants now. I haven't been less than a size 18 in so very long. The feeling literally almost brought tears to my eyes! Yea Me!!!! <BR> <BR> Also, just a report that a couple of weeks ago, I messaged for an SOS to help get me past a plateau. With helpful and encouraging words from my Spark friends,... Sun, 6 May 2012 12:05:41 EST What Do I Do If I'm Reaching A "Plateau"? I feel like I'm starting to reach a plateau of sorts. My weight loss has slowed down considerably over the last month. I'm averaging about a 1 lb loss every 10 days. I've been working very hard at staying in my nutition range (most days I'm under my max calorie intake by 200 cals), and I've been introducing more fitness minutes each week. I've only been able to work in 20-30 minutes at a time, but it is more than I've ever done in the past. Maybe it's still not enough? If anyone is out ... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 09:14:30 EST Two More New Recipies!!! 2-Thumbs Up! Last night I tried 2 more recipes out of my new Taste of Home Comfort Food Diet Cookbook. They were awesome! One was called "Baked Tilapia" and the other one was called "Parmesan Cauliflower". I give both 2-thumbs up. VERY SCRUMPTIOUS!!!! The cauliflower recipe has a parmesan sauce that you put on it, that gives so much flavor, and gives you a feeling that you're eating something cheesy and sinful, but was under 100cals per 3/4 cup serving. That's my kind of food! The tilapia was surpr... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 07:42:24 EST My New Cook Book Yesterday I took my son to a bookfair at his school. It was a pretty good deal at buy-one-get-one-free. He had picked out two books for himself, when I spotted the Taste Of Home Comfort Food Diet Cookbook. I am an avid subscriber to the Taste Of Home magazine, and pride myself a good cook largely because of the wonderful recipes and tips that they publish. I had heard of this cookbook back before I started Spark, and have always been very tempted to order it. I LOVE comfort food, I mean,... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 19:39:17 EST My "Up and Down" Day Ok, so today started out good. I did 35 minutes on the treadmill. I was so proud of myself because it's the first time, I've done 30 continuous minutes at a stretch. I was happy when I finished because I felt like my body must be starting to change, and withstand more than I could before. For that I was proud of myself and feeling happy. I knew I had a wedding shower to go to, and of course, any family gathering has TONS of wonderful food. It's always so hard to resist. (There are so m... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 19:58:52 EST Spreading the word... Yesterday I inspired someone to check out SP. Wow, me? I motivated someone else? That's just too much! Not used to that! But, I am happy for the person who took the time to take a look at SP. I hope they find as much support as I have been! <BR> <em>220</em> Thu, 12 Apr 2012 07:28:25 EST Trying to recover from Easter I look forward to Easter every year. It's always been my husband's and my holiday to host. I look forward to the egg scavenger hunt that the "Easter Bunny" puts on for my son. And, I really do enjoy having people over for a big gathering.... And a big meal. All the sides, all the munchie snacks that everyone brings to share. The star of the show (turkey, ham, etc.) Yep, every year I look forward to all of these things. But this year, in the days leading up to Easter, along with my anti... Mon, 9 Apr 2012 13:26:25 EST