JOURNEYTOI's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JOURNEYTOI JOURNEYTOI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Yo Yo Momma! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5219555 I woke up this morning thinking about my weight journey over the years and how I've lost so much weight only to gain it back. I then started thinking about the last few days and the things that I've made a conscience decision to watch and it all started coming together, at least in my own feeble little mind. <BR> <BR> When I was wearing a size 8, I was suddenly "human" and "part of the earth". Not necessarily in the right way but people weren't avoiding me in stores or restaurants. The... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 05:04:55 EST Yo Yo Momma! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5219554 I woke up this morning thinking about my weight journey over the years and how I've lost so much weight only to gain it back. I then started thinking about the last few days and the things that I've made a conscience decision to watch and it all started coming together, at least in my own feeble little mind. <BR> <BR> When I was wearing a size 8, I was suddenly "human" and "part of the earth". Not necessarily in the right way but people weren't avoiding me in stores or restaurants. The... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 05:04:42 EST DO NOT GIVE UP! It's worth the wait. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5205021 That is my motto for today. I've actually had a good day. Yesterday was fairly good as well. I made bake spaghetti squash for my almost children and boyfriend. The BF made smoked chicken on the outdoor smoker and then we made some hash brown potatoes with some yellow peppers mixed in. Not the healthiest but it sure beat what we would normally have consumed. <BR> <BR> I've decided to try a different method in my eating patterns. I find that when I am bored, I look to food. I also do t... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 13:00:50 EST Day Three: journeytoi "Emotional Eating" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5203137 I know there are many people out there that are like me. "The Emotional Eater" I am sure that a scientist somewhere out there scoffs at this but I can easily attest to you that we exist. While I do think it is a mindset, it doesn't help knowing that. Wait, that is a lie that I keep telling myself. The truth is that many people can shut that inner voice off that says, "Go ahead and eat that cheeseburger. You did good yesterday. You're stressed today and need the grease and comfort foo... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 05:14:45 EST Day Two: journey to i "I can do it tomorrow" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5202104 Today has been, so far, a stress filled day at work. And when I get stressed, I crave foods. I won't even detail what I crave because it will make me crave it more. *laughing* So I am sitting here telling myself "Mmmmmmm, that tomato salad that you have waiting on you when you get home will be so yummy!!!" <BR> <BR> Ironically, my boyfriend just texted me "I am starving. Think I will order a cheeseburger." GOTTA LOVE IT! <BR> <BR> I will be registered for a run next month! My sister... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:12:23 EST EUREKA! Inspiration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5200678 Okay I will admit it, I have never LOVED exercise. Wait, let me think on that... nope, I have never really cared to sweat. <em>20</em> BUT to clarify that statement, I DO enjoy certain things that occupy my mind while "sneaking" in some exercise. For example, I live near The Smokey Mountains and I LOVE hiking. Why? Because I can take my camera, get some great nature photos, sweat and never realize that I was actually exercising and enjoying myself. <BR> <BR> I was reading anothe... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 14:21:58 EST Day One: journey to i http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5200415 I think I will go ahead and start my initial entry for my 180 day challenge. I'll just made "addendums" at the end of the day because I REALLY want to be accountable and not "partly participate" in something that truly belongs only to ME! This is a walk that only I can take but I have a feeling I will make some great friends along the way that will at least hold my hand and walk it with me vitually. <BR> <BR> I've been waking each morning with that "anxious - what-is-gonna-happen-today" fe... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 11:44:00 EST me, myself and i http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5200300 <em>249</em> <BR> When I began to ponder the concept of writing about my journey to self discovery, I gave much thought on what my journey should be called. I came up with some unique names but for some reason the simple word “i” came to mind. I’ve had people ask me, since I made this decision, why and it is truly simple. We all know people in our lives that use the term “me” more than they probably should. Let’s face it, we are in a “me” society and while I do believe in self promo... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 10:47:58 EST Reflections of me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5103779 I see the changes. I walk by mirrors, doors, windows and see my reflection. I know that I have gained most of my weightloss back. I know that I can't breathe good anymore and that I need to get a grip. I know that my supervisors that I work for don't see me and that the younger, skinny girls at work are judged in a different way. (Trust me, they are!) But guess what? I was that skinny girl a little over a year ago. I had that opportunity and I blew it in less than 12 months. <BR> ... Thu, 18 Oct 2012 13:02:54 EST In A MOOD? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5102395 Yessss, I am! LOL I hate it when I get in one of those "just bring it" moods and it's not a good "just bring it". I just feel like I am totally alone in this world today, even though I know that I'm not. Do you ever feel that way? Like nobody is listening? Since I've gained my weight back, I feel invisible anyway. That doesn't help. But as life changes, friends change and I find that I really don't feel I have too many people in my life that I can talk to and that will give it righ... Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:50:24 EST 7 pounds gone ... not that I am counting! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5095109 So why now? Or why now and why the times before? LOL I dunno. Sometimes I would start to work out and try to keep the weight off and then I'd just not "feel it". I can't explain the process but for anyone that has lost it and gained it back, you know what I am saying. Heck, for anyone that has lost it PERIOD or IS losing it, they understand. It's the "final motivation", the "Its time" feeling, the "no going back" motive that makes you put one step in front of the other and keep goin... Thu, 11 Oct 2012 10:31:59 EST Wednesday Rambles http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5093707 As I was driving into work today, I thought about my eating lifestyle in the last several years. I have gone from barely eating to stuffing my face for days. I decided today to join a group that supports those with eating disorders. I always hate to self diagnose anything but feel like perhaps this will offer me some insight into my past with the ebb and flow of abusing my body with food. <BR> <BR> I found out yesterday that I will be attending a company meeting in Troy Michigan in one m... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:49:23 EST Journey to i Day One http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5091463 I feel that I've started over so many times in my life that I should be the Queen of "Do Over". But I guess it says something to my determination that I am still trying and still not going to let the battle of the buldge win. <BR> <BR> A little about me ... In 2006, I lost around 75 pounds. I went thru a bad divorce, am a survivor of abuse and simply let life get in the way. I gained much of that back in 2010. By the summer of 2011, I had lost 160 pounds - over half of me! I met my w... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 15:00:31 EST