JODROX's SparkPeople Blog JODROX's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Big Life Lessons Back at work, back in the swing of things, kinda. <BR> <BR> I had another couple low days. Feeling sad & lonely. Kind of pathetic, to tell you the truth. I'm trying to sort through it without really dwelling in it too much. It's a fine line, it seems. I want to make myself busy - fill my life with people and activities. Is that to avoid thinking about some of these hard things? Or is that the exact solution to my current funk? Tough to say. In any case, I'm plowing ahead. I think I've sorte... Wed, 15 Nov 2017 07:13:47 EST I'm a Runner! Again. Yesterday I ran for the first time since surgery -- 6 weeks after surgery. I alternated running and walking, running just one minute at a time. I felt like I could've run more than I did, but I want to ease back into this, to make sure build up slowly and make sure I don’t get injured. Yey! My journey back to fitness has begun! <img src=""> Norwegian buffet... SUCH great memories of that trip! Sun, 5 Nov 2017 08:44:22 EST New Month. New Optimism. I love the start of a new month. It's a brand new opportunity to evaluate where I'm at and where I want to be. <BR> <BR> Where I'm at is…. not as bad as what I was thinking before I looked at my goals for the year. I've done A LOT! I had A LOT of goals and I've accomplished a lot of them. I feel good about that. <BR> <BR> Where I want to be is… not so different from where I am now. Just a little thinner and a little less stressed. I've identified many micro-steps to get me there, and I'm ... Wed, 1 Nov 2017 10:25:23 EST Heart People "Life goes on." I've been watching Empty Nest reruns. Love that show! <BR> <BR> Oh let's see. What's been happening here? I had another spiral into panic over divor$e issues. An attempted conversation with X. A sleepless night. Love and support from some of my dear ones. <BR> <BR> I remembered one of our lessons from the Brene Brown class I took a few years ago. We identified our "heart people" - those people we really connect with, we know they're there for us in our times of need. And no... Thu, 26 Oct 2017 09:36:46 EST So. Happy. It's. Tuesday. Food-wise, I did okay yesterday until evening, when I had a big bowl of popcorn. All that salt…. Yeah, today, I'll do better. <BR> <BR> I did go for a long walk yesterday, and a decent pace too! That felt good. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was my first day back to work (part-time, remote), and man-oh-man it was hard to focus. I got a few things done, but -- like my eating -- I need to do better today. <BR> <BR> Here's to a happier, more productive day! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkp... Tue, 24 Oct 2017 08:21:09 EST Work and Gossip and Centering Today is the day I return to work part-time, from home. I've been logging in and checking emails a few times a week since my surgery, which is good. I don’t have 1000 emails to wade through. I'm glad I can restart like this, part-time and from home. I don't think I could handle a full 8 hour day in the office! <BR> <BR> I dreamed about running last night! It was so real. It was my first time running since surgery, and I was taking it easy and pleasantly surprised that I had more stamina th... Mon, 23 Oct 2017 14:44:24 EST A Return to Normal? Two days ago, you may recall, I had a blow-up with my kids. While I feel I'm right to be able to expect more from them, I felt bad about losing my temper. I just want us to get along and be happy together -- especially as we navigate divorce and I see them only every other week. So… I thought this latest conflict is gonna hurt -- it's gonna last weeks. <BR> <BR> And then yesterday, my kids were completely normal with me. I thought they'd avoid me. But, no, instead, they were perfectly normal... Sun, 22 Oct 2017 09:12:33 EST Teenagers. ARGH! Yesterday was 90% great. My mood was much better. I took my younger son out for lunch and we went shoe shopping. We both needed shoes. He found some, I didn't. <BR> <BR> Then we got home and, long story short, I lost my temper with my kids cuz they both are almost completely unhelpful around the house - unless I ask 40 times or bribe or guilt them into it. I was feeling very taken advantage of and FED UP with having to ask these GROWN MEN to do their fair share, to step up and help with thin... Sat, 21 Oct 2017 09:25:52 EST Good News x2 Good news! Actually good news on TWO fronts! <BR> <BR> The issue I was concerned about with my friend is resolved. I had put off talking with her about something, and I was afraid she'd be upset with me and not be able to forgive me, and maybe even end our friendship over it. I needn't have worried. She was very understanding. We had a great talk, and it's a HUGE load off my conscience to have finally talked with her. (I have one more of those tough conversations ahead, with a different frie... Fri, 20 Oct 2017 08:05:57 EST 5 More Pounds Wow. Off the rails. I'm up 5 more pounds. Emergency measures needed. Gee, is it any surprise?! I've stopped blogging and tracking. It's NO frickin coincidence. I need to get my sh*t together. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was an okay day, emotionally. My kids are with me this week, but we have a deal where they visit with their off-week parent on Wednesday for dinner. Otherwise that week gets to feel too long without seeing each other. When they got back to my place, we were just gabbing about routin... Thu, 19 Oct 2017 06:53:31 EST Today You Can I rediscovered this poem today and thought it was perfectly fitting. <BR> <BR> <BR> Today You Can <BR> by Catherine Pulsifer <BR> <BR> Today you can choose to count your blessings <BR> or you can count your troubles. <BR> Today you can live each moment <BR> or you can put in time. <BR> <BR> Today you can take action towards your goals <BR> or you can procrastinate. <BR> Today you can plan for the future <BR> or you can regret the past. <BR> <BR> Today you can learn one new thi... Thu, 12 Oct 2017 07:17:38 EST Terrific Tuesday It's TUESDAY! I feel so good about everything I got done yesterday. So many phone calls! Online banking! What I spent the most time on was my Shutterfly Norway book, which is so huge that it's going to take many days to complete. I'd like to finish it before I go back to work in 2-3 weeks. I'll work on it more today. Now that I'm on a roll with it, I don't want to set it aside, lest I lose momentum, lose my place. I'm gonna geterdone! <BR> <BR> The one exercise I did was physical therapy exe... Tue, 10 Oct 2017 07:42:01 EST Ambitious Intentions Today's to-do list is loooooooooooooooooong. Over the past two weeks, I've moved various tasks from one day to the next. Again and again and again. Eventually these things do need to get done. One has a hard deadline. The others can be put off indefinitely -- well, for a long time anyway. But, considering I will be going back to work in a few weeks, I really want to get them done NOW. Phone calls, online tasks, appointments, household jobs, <BR> <BR> The key here is shutting off the TV. I'm ... Mon, 9 Oct 2017 08:19:07 EST Stepping OUT All these days of medical leave are starting to blur together, especially since I overdid it last week and started experiencing more pain again. I had to scale back and make myself be extra lazy. But seriously, there's only so much TV I can watch. I've been reading too… and coloring… and playing piano… and calling people… <BR> <BR> Today I'm going to try to get myself and my kiddos to church. We haven't gone for many weeks. Then maybe we'll go visit my mom. One way or another, I am not sitt... Sun, 8 Oct 2017 08:53:01 EST You Are a Bad Ass -- and JOYFUL too I'm reading self-help book called You Are a Bad Ass. The part I was reading last night was about how we tell ourselves stories about our lives that may or may not be true. The author gives a bunch of examples. The one that sticks in my head is a single woman who tells herself there are no decent, single men out there. Kind of a pity party. But why do we tell ourselves these stories? Because they serve some purpose for us. This woman bears no responsibility for her solo status if the cause is ... Sat, 7 Oct 2017 09:38:11 EST Credit Card Fraud, Toning, and Making Amends... and Fire! When I woke this morning, I checked my phone and saw an email from my credit card company alerting me to a suspicious charge. Sure enough, it was a fraudulent charge. So that was my first task this morning, calling my credit card company to stop the charge and get a new card. <BR> <BR> Two days ago, I did just the tiniest bit of toning exercises for lower body and upper body, specifically avoiding any ab work. Yeah, I think I probably should not have done that. I've been achy, with twinges ... Fri, 6 Oct 2017 10:47:36 EST Positive Steps <BR> The success story of the day… are you ready for this? I managed to keep my mood up up UP yesterday. Nothing at all has changed in the situation, but I managed to not sink into despair about it. That's good news. <BR> <BR> I took steps to repair a relationship that's strained. <BR> <BR> I felt annoyed by a text and chose to let it go. <BR> <BR> I called EAP to find a counselor and will set up the appointment today. <BR> <BR> I took a few minutes to get myself presentable for the ... Thu, 5 Oct 2017 08:19:17 EST Turning the Page Yesterday was rough, but I'm determined to make today a better day, so I don't want to rehash what went wrong. I'm going to focus on making things better. Making my life better. Making my relationships better. Making my attitude better. All of this is possible. I can do better. <BR> <BR> I'm not sure if I have told this story, so at the risk of repeating myself…. Here's the condensed version. <BR> <BR> About two years ago, I took a class that was built around the book The Gifts of Imperfect... Wed, 4 Oct 2017 09:21:28 EST Daily Update + Las Vegas Shooting?! Greetings Earthlings! <BR> <BR> Jeez, despite knowing what I need to do and kinda feeling like I'm doing kinda sorta okay, I am eating too damn much. These long days home alone are challenging! They're an awesome gift - this time I have available to recover and rest. But… all that sitting around… I snack! Must stop!! <BR> <BR> I have LOTS of big and little tasks on my to-do list today - various tasks that get moved from one day to the next on my calendar until I decide to geterdone OR that ... Mon, 2 Oct 2017 07:15:44 EST Eye of the Storm Recovery continues. I'm feeling really good -- better than I expected after major surgery. I really should be eating lighter than I am, considering I'm way less active. But… it's always been hard for me to not snack when I'm home a lot. All I can do is keep trying to make healthier choices and TRACK IT ALL. <BR> <BR> I am soooooooooooooooooo glad to have a break from the divorce stress. Yes, it's hanging like an ugly balloon over my head, but I don't have to DO anything about it for now. I'... Sun, 1 Oct 2017 07:51:19 EST Trying to Have a Better Day I did track food yesterday, and I did feel like I was keeping things under better control, but…. No, I was way over. I knew this BEFORE I had dinner. Then a friend brought dinner from Panera. So, yeah. More work needed. <BR> <BR> The good news is MAN I needed a good gab session. These long days on my own during recovery can get pretty lonely. Thankfully I haven't had too many of those. I've had visitors. I'm trying to stay busy with fun little projects (sorting photos online, reading, playin... Wed, 27 Sep 2017 08:57:19 EST Surgery and Divorce Howdy. I've been away for a while and thought I'd give ya an update. Lots going on. I'll try to sum up or this would be 4000 pages. <BR> <BR> 1) I had a hysterectomy last week. Recovery is going ok. I feel very appreciative of my dear friends and family who have helped take care of me, brought me meals, and sent well wishes. It means so much to know people care. <BR> <BR> 2) I'm getting divorced. It's a very good thing. I always find it amusing when I tell people this and they say "Oh, I'... Tue, 26 Sep 2017 11:39:28 EST Riding out the Storm Last night I had a bit of an emotional set-back. I think I mentioned I'm going through some stuff. Anyway, I was feeling upset and after journaling about it, I decided to go for a walk. It was supposed to rain all day, but it kept getting pushed back and the % chance decreasing, until it looked like the storm was north of us. I checked the radar. It was sprinkling when I left home and gradually started raining a bit heavier, and then a bit heavier still. In my state of mind, I was feeling I d... Fri, 7 Jul 2017 09:15:23 EST More Good Than Bad I really do feel more motivated than I've been in a while to stick to my efforts! I'm not 100% perfect about it, but I'm not letting that derail me. As usual, I'm keeping close tabs in Sparkpeople and in my lil spreadsheet. So I know where I'm succeeding and where I need to work harder. <BR> <BR> What's going well: <BR> <BR> * I'm tracking all my food again! <BR> * Cardio! I love to run, walk, hike, bike. I even counted mowing as cardio :) <BR> * I'm drinking more water! <BR> * Watching m... Thu, 6 Jul 2017 08:16:48 EST Let Freedom Ring! Hello again, Sparklers! <em>283</em> <em>232</em> <em>283</em> <em>232</em> <em>283</em> <BR> <BR> I haven't posted for ages. Life has been hectic, chaotic, messy, complicated, tumultuous, and stressful. How's that for an excuse? The dust is settling, or maybe it's a mirage. But man oh man, I do not want to gain more weight from the stress. <BR> <BR> Back when my stressstorm began, I lost my appetite and ability to sleep. I lost 10 pounds in a few weeks. Not the way to do it, b... Tue, 4 Jul 2017 09:33:57 EST Starting Over. Again. Life has been tumultuous lately and my fitness has fallen by the wayside. I'm feeling motivated again and am trying to do all those things I know I need to do. Summer means lots of biking, and I love that! Sat, 3 Jun 2017 09:18:19 EST Biggest Loser Update Here's a quick update on how Biggest Loser is going: UGH! <BR> <BR> I started the first week off GREAT and then fizzled by the end of the week. Truth is I have some personal stuff going on right now that's a bit... um.... chaotic. So it's been harder than usual to stick with an exercise routine and reasonable eating. Excuses, excuses, I know. But that's where I am. <BR> <BR> Today I'm feeling pretty good again. I went for a bike ride yesterday and kept my calories on the low end of my range... Mon, 10 Apr 2017 08:46:30 EST Day 6 of Biggest Loser Oops. I went off the rails yesterday. Overdid it, eating-wise, all day long, especially at dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I'm still full. <BR> <BR> Back on track today. Lots and lots of water. Fri, 7 Apr 2017 07:42:41 EST Day 5 of Biggest Loser Today... get ready. You are NOT gonna believe this. I ran IN THE MORNING. I am NOT a morning person. I like to run at 4 or 5 pm. But I did it. I'm still building up stamina since I had a cold. So... there was MUCH walking on this run, but hey, I did it. <BR> <BR> I also went for a walk AND a short hike. <BR> <BR> AND I'm under my calorie maximum. <BR> <BR> I just gave myself an enormous pat on the back. <BR> <BR> Life.Is.Good. Wed, 5 Apr 2017 23:15:17 EST Days 3-4 of Biggest Loser I'm doing pretty well as far as eating lighter and exercising. <BR> <BR> My biggest problems right now are..... stress and lack of sleep. I'm working on both of them! <BR> <BR> I'll share more later. Not much to say today. Tue, 4 Apr 2017 20:51:17 EST Day 2 of Biggest Loser Yesterday I ran. <BR> Today I hiked. <BR> Both days I went a bit over my own calorie goal, but not over Sparkpeople's maximum for me. Something to continue to work at. <BR> I had a Jimmy John's vegetarian sandwich today, and I found it on SP for like 600 calories. That does not seem possible. It wasn't that huge, and it was mostly vegetables, other than the bread, cheese, and sauce. I don't see how it could be 600. So... that kinda threw off my calories for the day. Oh well. <BR> Tomorrow, ... Sun, 2 Apr 2017 21:28:15 EST Biggest Loser Begins Again April 1 - April 30 I'm running a little Biggest Loser challenge with friends on Facebook. This is my all-in effort to FINALLY re-find my motivation and lose 10 pounds! I've had many stops & starts since losing 40 6 years ago. So. It begins. <BR> <BR> It's time to shed some bad habits along with the extra pounds. <BR> <BR> For starters, I canceled cable television a couple weeks ago. That was more to save money than be active, but the temptation to veg in front of the TV is GONE. However, I... Sat, 1 Apr 2017 08:13:16 EST Facing the Music Howdy! I'm doing a little better with eating and exercise -- getting back on track! Hurrah! <BR> <BR> Last night I ran for the first time since having my knee inspected by Dr. nearly 3 weeks ago. I mostly walked -- ran 1 minute for every 4 walked. But hey, it's something. It's a start. And my knee was fine. A little achy but no stabbing pains. So I'm thrilled. <BR> <BR> My sister asked if I wanted to run a race with her in April, and I said YES! I'm eager to start training for it. It'll b... Thu, 19 Jan 2017 08:52:15 EST Ice, Ice Baby Today in paradise, EVERYTHING is closed due to icy conditions. I'm hoping things melt or get cleared away by late morning so I can venture out. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I managed to eat a little better -- not quite in the 1200-1300 range I was aiming for. But better. <BR> <BR> I also managed to do just the tiniest bit of toning. Baby steps! I thought about going to the Y, but the roads were really bad, and honestly I just wasn't feeling it. <BR> <BR> Today, again, I'm going to try to get closer... Tue, 17 Jan 2017 08:18:23 EST January: Fresh Beginnings! I vanished! Like magic! <BR> <BR> No, really, I've just got a whole lot of personal stuff going on right now. I can see why losing weight worked for me a few years back. I had the time and space in my life to 100% obsess on food and exercise. Now… it's been more difficult. But I don't feel as good -- mentally or physically -- so I need to make the time and space for it before I start down the slippery slope to morbid obesity. <BR> <BR> Doctor said my knee looks "strong." She suspected the ... Mon, 16 Jan 2017 07:42:56 EST Eating and Sleeping for Health My sleeping struggle continues, but I do believe I've gotten my appetite back. <BR> <BR> A friend sent me some Advocare SleepWorks, and it worked like a charm two nights ago. Last night, not so much. I only took a half dose both nights. I'll try a full dose tonight. <BR> <BR> And food, glorious food - yep, I'm eating again! It's been a gradual thing of eating a little more each day, and now I guess I need to watch it so I don't fall back in the old habits of overeating! <BR> <BR> Down to... Fri, 9 Dec 2016 06:54:04 EST Resuming Normal Things are going a little better. I'm eating a little more, sleeping a little more, getting things sorted out a little more. #lifeisgood <BR> <BR> I was a little nervous that the weight I dropped quickly would creep back on if I started eating like a reasonable person again. But I'm actually still losing, eating on the low end of my SP calorie range. I'm not starving or stuffed. I feel good. <BR> <BR> Running, walking, hiking, toning, eating healthfully, drinking water, and sleeping. #keys... Tue, 6 Dec 2016 07:27:24 EST November: Lost TEN Pounds?!?! The first half of November, with my weight hitting an all-time high since my 40-pound loss (not highest ever), I was in a panic to get back on track. I was working on it...kinda...sorta...with no real results. <BR> <BR> And then this new thing hit -- the lack of sleep, the loss of appetite. The key to weight-loss success?! HA! Well, I have now lost 10 pounds. I'm back down under 130, and the possibility of actually getting to my goal weight before the end of the year is starting to look do-a... Thu, 1 Dec 2016 07:32:31 EST Over 1000! Yesterday I finally ate over 1000. I'm kind of nervous about gaining back the lbs I lost, but I can't eat that light forever! I came in at 1120. <BR> <BR> It was a busy day -- lots of fun, wonderful stuff, partly birthday, partly life. I got home pretty late and was hungry, so I ate. Previous days, I probably would have just gone to bed without eating. So... maybe this is the start of getting my appetite back? We'll see! <BR> <BR> It's a running day for me, so I definitely need to fuel! <... Wed, 30 Nov 2016 08:37:07 EST 9 Pounds in 13 Days When you lose your appetite and can't sleep... It's not the intentional weight-loss I've worked so hard for in the past, but I'll take it. Back under 130. <BR> <BR> Today is my birthday, and it's a milestone. I'm very blaaaaah about it. Oh yeah, it's my birthday... no big deal. My friends are taking me out for lunch, so that's nice. Then my kiddo has a band concert tonight. So.......... yeah, like I said, no big deal. <BR> <BR> <em>107</em> Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:10:46 EST 12 Days Under 1000 Greetings, Sparklers! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and nice long weekend! Mine was good -- nice to spend the day with family and relax over the long weekend. <BR> <BR> My low-cal trend continues. I'm at a point now where I really could eat more, but I'm being careful. Yesterday I logged in my supper foods before eating, and when it put me over 1000, I changed it up so I'd still be under 1000. OCD much? Yes. So that's what I ate, and it was enough. I was satisfied. <BR> <img s... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 07:58:50 EST 10 Days In I'm starting Day 10 of this crazy new sleepless/eat-less world, and thank God for a 4-day weekend. There's time to mentally sort through some stuff that might get me back to a place where I can sleep and eat again. <BR> <BR> One thing that is keeping me sane is writing. It helps me process what's happening and provides enormous clarity. <BR> <BR> Here on SP, I share the fitness/health side of things, and it's nice to hear encouragement on that front too. <BR> <BR> Surprisingly I don't fe... Fri, 25 Nov 2016 13:25:29 EST An Emotional Weight Loss I've got some emotional turmoil in my life right now. Hence the loss of appetite and lack of sleep. I'm functioning and have great things in some areas of my life, so hurrah for that. <BR> <BR> I'm happy to have lost 7 pounds in a week, even though this is absolutely NOT the way to do it. Pre-emotional turmoil, I never ever ever had an 800-calorie day. And now, 800-900 is about all I care to eat. <BR> <BR> I am hoping to be able to sleep a full night soon and to be able to eat what my bod... Wed, 23 Nov 2016 08:44:26 EST Can't Even Choke it Down I woke up hungry this morning (good sign!) and decided to make myself eggs for breakfast, since I'm always low on protein, especially now. Two eggs, one piece of bread. I got less than halfway into it and was done. I made myself have a few more bites of the eggs and threw the rest in the trash. <BR> <BR> I do not recognize this unhungry girl. <BR> <BR> It's a running day for me, so I'm gonna really try to choke down some nutrition today. Ugh, this has never been a struggle. Mon, 21 Nov 2016 11:55:46 EST Day 4 Under 1000 I'm just gonna own this. I know it's not the healthiest thing and I know that it's not going to last forever, but I still have little appetite and am not sleeping well, but I'm overall happy, and if this can kickstart some blubber loss, I'm okay with it. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I had my lil breakfast and my lil lunch, and by 4:00 p.m. I knew I needed to eat something. So I warmed up some soup. I ate half of it and was done. <BR> <BR> I met some friends at a restaurant/bar and, again, figured I ... Sun, 20 Nov 2016 09:55:17 EST Day 3 Under 1000 I'm not sure how to talk about this or feel about this cuz I KNOW it's not good, but I'm on Day 3 under 1000 calories, and I'm not sleeping well, but I'm kinda hyped up and energized and not hungry or wanting to eat more, and I've lost 6 pounds, and I feel like if my mood continues like this, I'll probably keep eating this light, and.............. would that be bad?? Yes, yes, I know that would be bad cuz I'm getting almost no protein or iron or fiber. I'm eating healthy stuff, when I do eat.... Fri, 18 Nov 2016 22:06:11 EST Another Low Cal Day <img src=""> <BR> Today, again, no appetite. I had about 850 calories. No wine this time. I'm not gonna worry about it. My body will let me know when it needs more. I went for a nice long walk. Apparently it's Take a Hike Day. Thu, 17 Nov 2016 22:54:04 EST Skipping Meals Last night, I got home around supper-time, poured myself a glass of wine and couldn't decide what to make for supper. Hubs just got home too, and he was making something, offered me some. I passed. We often don't eat the same food because I'm on-again off-again vegetarian (currently on-again) and in general we just like different things. <BR> <BR> I realized, with some surprise and pride, for lack of a better word, that I wasn't hungry, and I was just going to go with that as long as "not hu... Thu, 17 Nov 2016 07:11:49 EST I'm Back -- AGAIN! Greetings, SparkPeople! I have returned. <BR> <BR> My fitness efforts fell by the wayside. My faithful adherence to working out and eating light weakened and my weight has yoyo'ed to a place I don't want to stay very long. <BR> <BR> It's frustrating. When I hit my all-time low of 122.5 5 years ago, it was the result of OCD eating light and exercise. I remember feeling still not quite thin/toned enough but also feeling that I couldn't eat that light forever. So I let myself eat more and my ... Wed, 16 Nov 2016 09:58:05 EST Carbs vs Protein <img src=""> <BR> As a sometimes vegetarian, I'm fairly conscious of my protein intake. Most days I do okay getting very close to my Sparkpeople recommended 60 grams. Today, not so much. It's so easy to consume carbs. They're quick and convenient and something I naturally want. Want vs need... long-term health benefits..... Yup! I'll try to do better tomorrow! Tue, 24 May 2016 22:33:08 EST