JNFRDAWN's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JNFRDAWN JNFRDAWN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Summertime check in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6207532 I re-read my last post about setting smaller goals and realized I'm once again doing the same thing. I've set both weight loss goals and activity goals for the next few months, with the intent of meeting a longer-term goal by October when I get to go to a music festival in Maine. I've only been to Maine once, a lot of years ago, on my honeymoon. Now long-since divorced, I can't wait to go back to do some exploring on my own. I don't know which of the festival's events I'll want to do, so ... Wed, 27 Jul 2016 10:05:52 EST Checking In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6072457 For some reason, I thought I'd checked in here more frequently than I did this last couple months - I faithfully logged my food every day, but apparently, I didn't do the social thing here during the holidays. <BR> <BR> The DDPYoga Advent challenge was a surprising success. I felt stronger every day (except when J. and I both got the flu.) I committed at the beginning of the year to work out every day until spring break (the last week of March) when we go on vacation. A lot of mini goals ... Mon, 18 Jan 2016 08:22:23 EST Advent Challenge: Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6040651 So I joined with one of my online communities in a DDPyoga + clean eating during Advent, and this is Day 1 of 24. I'm writing this kind of as a draft of a note to my accountability partner (who isn't on sparkpeople.) <BR> <BR> This morning I did RHC for the first time in months and Diamond Dozen like it was an old friend. I had to split up the latter in pieces because two of my "kryptonite" got to me this morning: rainfall on the roof, which is an "I want to stay in bed" sound, and the sn... Tue, 1 Dec 2015 12:32:30 EST Reestablishmentarianism http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6030438 Okay, so that's probably not even a word. Unlike its counterpart disestablishmentarianism which we learned in school when learning about the arms race. Or whatever. <BR> <BR> But what this has to do with is, once again, choices. <BR> <BR> Around the new year, a local counselor advertised sessions that would serve as something as an emotional reset. "I could really use that," I thought, and called her up. She's Amy Williams Wellness, for any locals who happen to see this, and I highly re... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 12:28:57 EST Fear of Flying http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6030425 These thoughts have been mulling about in my brain for a couple days, so I'm going to try to organize them here. <BR> <BR> There's really nothing to complain about when it comes to health and fitness. This came to mind when one of my main mentors, Stacey Morris, posted a video to facebook of her doing her prepwork on the weekends, making healthy food to eat throughout the week. During my transitory, brief periods of what I would consider health and fitness "success," I do this too. And I'... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 12:11:19 EST Thank-You Notes to the Universe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964886 So where I work, I have six bosses. Six. Bossy-bosses. Each has equal authority, at any given moment, to boss me around. Sometimes it's hard figuring out who to prioritize when they each need different things. Anyway, I digress. <BR> <BR> A couple of my bosses consider themselves to be mentors to me in a variety of ways. One in particular has talked to me about weight issues -- usually, most often because I brought it up. I would find this frustrating, because although I would bring u... Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:51:04 EST Shadowing Stacey: Unexpected Deliciousness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5931345 First, I want to say that after some thinking, I totally subscribe to Mike Mullins (of Mike at 90%) theory that there are no "re-starts," "re-boots," or "Versions 2.0" or such that people say when they get off track and get back on. It's just all part of the same journey. I blasted off a significant amount of weight in my first six months doing ddpyoga, and then I didn't. There aren't any excuses. "Life got in the way?" Yeah, right. Life is just what we do. The technicalities are, I s... Wed, 20 May 2015 10:53:57 EST A Lightbulb Moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5921443 It's spring cleaning time here in the heart of Appalachia, and some of my chores just inspired this blog entry. <BR> <BR> Some time ago, I'd posted that I re-enrolled in my insurance-underwritten "weight management" program. I'd thought I would add their exercise program to mix things up and take advantage of talking with a nutritionist and behavioral coach. I was in kind of a slump having hit a plateau on what was a successful downward slope toward my weight loss goals. I wasn't doing ba... Sat, 2 May 2015 18:45:53 EST still here - mind over matter in reverse http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809134 This was originally written as a message to a friend, but I'm editing a little bit to make it make sense for this space. <BR> <BR> I haven't gone anywhere - have been entering my nutrition and exercise in the database daily as always. But I'm newly motivated, and was inspired by the friend I wrote this message to. As I mentioned in this space before, I re-enrolled in a weight management program underwritten by my insurance, that offers a discounted gym membership and sessions with a pers... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 07:35:32 EST On Methods of Accountability http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5756825 Am doing some more reflection on this year’s retreat, which was as I said before, a totally different experience for me than 2013, but awesome in its own ways. One thing that happened was that DDP himself picked me up in a golf cart and we rode around with him lecturing me on nutrition. And he was right about everything. I have been putting my time in, both at the gym and on the mat, but eating right is what hasn’t stuck with me yet, and I have a lot of habits to change. <BR> <BR> One of ... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 10:53:25 EST Shadowing Stacey - Keep Private Things Private? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5718322 I really thought when about a month ago I "came out" regarding my disordered eating, that it would be a pivotal moment in which everything I needed motivationally would culminate and I'd start being one of the super success stories you read about. For some reason, it seems to have had the opposite effect, and I've participated in some weird rebelliousness - rebelling against . . . myself? I don't know. <BR> <BR> I'd set a major goal basically for all year long, then all summer long, then... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 09:09:15 EST Shadowing Stacey - Results Not Typical http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713400 I really thought "coming out" about things such as disordered eating and depression would spearhead a new beginning or fresh start for me in my weight loss journey. As Dr. Phil says, "You can't fix what you don't acknowledge." I don't know if I've just reverted the past few weeks into my old self-sabotage patterns or what, but I do know, especially with retreat less than one month away now (for me - I don't know who else is going the first week!) it's time to make good on the promises I kee... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 11:32:56 EST Shadowing Stacey - Introduction Part II http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698546 I compulsively overeat. <BR> <BR> Again, I don't have a "story" per se that can't be summed up in that sentence. I compulsively overeat, and I did so as recently as 1:00 a.m. today. I haven't plumbed the psychological depths that Stacey recommends getting out of the way first, so maybe I have a story and just don't know it, but this qualifies me to be one of the ones she talks about in her book's dedication - although it hasn't been a lifelong cycle, it has been for a significant portion ... Mon, 19 May 2014 15:15:11 EST Shadowing Stacey -- Introduction http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5697758 This will probably be all over the place because my thoughts aren't organized yet - I'll come back and edit at some point. But if you're reading this, chances are, Stacey Morris has been a big inspiration to you. She certainly has been for me. Of course, Arthur's ubiquitous viral video was my first introduction to ddpyoga, and I watched with tears streaming down my face and thought, like probably many of you did, "if he can do it, I can do it." I bought my system, and then explored some o... Sun, 18 May 2014 16:09:23 EST determination http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5639625 So according to sparkpeople, if I stay on program and don't exceed their daily calorie recommendation, I can attain a long-term weight-loss goal by the time I go to my yoga retreat in July. So I'm gonna do this, along with the goals I already wrote about for mastering a couple yoga postures that I can't do yet. <BR> <BR> I'm just tired of the up-a-pound, down two pounds, up five pounds, down four pounds stuck place I've been for a couple months. And I have to stop being satisfied with thes... Tue, 4 Mar 2014 14:59:54 EST reporting in from aquageddon http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5603587 I just noticed that my last blog entry started, "the new year started out great!" I'm starting this one by saying this has been the weirdest start to a new year I can remember, ever. With snowstorms reaching subzero temperatures sandwiching a chemical spill into our water supply rendering our water unusable for any reason, honestly, it's been harder than ever to make healthy choices. And that's a challenge for me even on a good day. <BR> <BR> I managed to gain four (4) pounds from Thank... Thu, 23 Jan 2014 16:58:41 EST here's to fresh starts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5582781 The new year started out great. I went to Raleigh to spend time with one of my life-long friends and her husband: on New Year's Day, we started out with a yoga class, "ran" four miles, and then did a restorative yoga class. I'd never done the latter -- never had anything I guess I needed to recover from with yoga -- but it was phenomenal. We also worked on vision boards for the new year, and mine is an ongoing project still. <BR> <BR> Rather than considering "resolutions," I'm focusing o... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 09:58:15 EST 2014 is going to be awesome! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5573822 I'm excited about the upcoming year. I have a lot of travel scheduled already: trips to Houston, Savannah, Flagstaff, AZ, and a stay at the Greenbrier, and the absolute best part will be returning to Mexico for my second 'go round' at my yoga retreat. <BR> <BR> This all means goal setting, which I'm conceptualizing instead of specific New Year's Resolutions. I just re-set my weight loss goal here on sparkpeople, as well as I have some goals of postures to master before the retreat: what ... Sat, 28 Dec 2013 13:33:57 EST This Just In: Smaller Dress Size Affects Local Woman's Happiness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5544166 I always journal here about my "downer" times, so I thought it was only fair to counter it in this space with a really happy moment I had this weekend. <BR> <BR> I was going to a local concert event that I'd really been looking forward to, and I was already happy that I had to take the little black dress I wanted to wear into the tailor's last week to have it taken in in several places. So Saturday (day of event) I went to pick up the clothes I was having altered . . . and they weren't read... Mon, 18 Nov 2013 10:01:35 EST Living Life at 90% http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5539994 I got up and worked out this morning and faced this day with a resolve I didn't know I was capable of. Am taking a few moments away from work to journal about it here. <BR> <BR> Am going through some s$%^. Some of it is of my own doing, but mostly not. Earlier this year I may have blogged about my friend Sandy. Sandy's a vivacious 38 year old mother of a three year old, and she's my best friend's sister. And she's dying of cancer. J. and I went to visit her this summer, knowing it was ... Wed, 13 Nov 2013 09:53:05 EST jumping off this plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5531763 My friend Leslie and I were discussing this week how we've both been stagnant for the same amount of time (three months.) I lost four pounds on my yoga retreat but have stayed on a weight-loss plateau since, and I totally know why. Prior to the retreat, I was hard core on the clean eating plan they provided for us so that my body wouldn't go into shock from all the healthy when I got there. One of the rules was "no alcohol," and I stuck to it. <BR> <BR> Until I got back. I haven't been d... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 09:59:02 EST First 5k experience http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5498477 Baby girl and I did the Color Vibe 5k today where you run through stations getting dye packs thrown on you. It was fun, and I surprised myself a little bit. Of course I'd had all my usual concerns, not being able to run enough of it, being the last one to cross the finish line, etc. But my 7 year old punked out on the running before I did. I would have been able to run a lot more of it than we did, and that includes a lot more than I would have thought I could have - if that makes any sen... Sat, 28 Sep 2013 11:38:06 EST still here and plugging away http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5489368 Okay, not quite halfway to my goal, yet not discouraged. My weight loss has slowed somewhat because of an inexplicable lifting of my eating rules (with total realization that it's my eating that's pretty much governing this whole process.) <BR> <BR> Am doing all right. Am coming back out of my social coma after the relationship that did the number on me recently. Have dated a bit here and there and even took some friends' advice and made an online profile on a dating site, which freaks me... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 14:21:51 EST yoga retreat and catching up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5458248 I realized I hadn't updated here in a while - am still plugging away at my health and fitness efforts, having discovered that my weight dropped more rapidly when I added ddpyoga on top of the cardio I was doing, and am back in a Couch Potato to 5k plan preparing for the Sept. 28 Color Run in our town. <BR> <BR> I hadn't shared anything in this space though, about the best thing I ever did for myself, which was to go on the ddpyoga retreat in Riviera Maya, Mexico last month. It was amazing, ... Sat, 17 Aug 2013 17:19:29 EST rebuilding http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5399395 Today, I hit a weight loss goal that I had set for next Tuesday -- yay for hitting it a couple days in advance, and now to bust through it next week. My next goal is really just another 4 1/2 pounds before I leave for Mexico - easily do-able. Today's was for my weight number-wise to fall into the next "ten's column" down, which is always an amazing feeling. <BR> <BR> Thanks to those of you who read my recent blog post about having my heart slowly and painfully eviscerated. It was only mar... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 18:35:56 EST I get it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5230007 So I have this co-worker who started running and getting fit a few years before I even thought about it. He's now a serious runner, marathons, the whole bit. The one who told me about the fish oil capsules. At the time when he started, I had just had my baby and didn't yet realize that weight was going to become a problem for me, which it not-so-gradually did. My co-worker dropped 40 pounds pretty rapidly from the running - over the course of the next few years, I gained about 70 - until ... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:07:58 EST back to my senses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5224309 So I had a 4 - 5 month streak where I lost weight at a healthy pace starting last fall. I adopted great, consistent habits, felt great, and dropped more than 20 pounds at one point (I'm a little above that now, so I took my Lost 20 Pounds trophy away -- again!) <BR> <BR> Something happened around New Year's Resolution time. I have a bizarre rebellious streak that is only bizarre now because now that I'm full grown I have no one to rebel against except myself. And the only person my behavi... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 12:03:04 EST brief check in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5218224 Struggling a little with Game On this week because of a three-day weekend -- we threw my parents a 50th wedding anniversary party (hence, party foods) congregated with the party goers at a local super unhealthy breakfast joint (Tudor's for you locals) and just had three days of no purposeful exercise and unhealthy eating. <BR> <BR> And it felt terrible! I mean the party was great, but it's amazing to note now the lethargy and "ick" feeling that comes along with not taking care of your body.... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 08:53:37 EST Continuing with Goal-Setting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5209751 Finally a decent loss for a week registered on the scale. I dropped 2.5 pounds last week, following the Game On! competition-based diet / wellness plan with some friends (TOPS.) I have a goal set for the end of January, and then a goal set for the end of February after making THAT goal, and I pretty much have to keep losing at this same pace to make it. <BR> <BR> And I've just decided that anything short of that is unacceptable. Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:55:23 EST Stating Goal Publically http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5194952 I think I've finally accepted that sharing my goals allows for more accountability, instead of keeping them to myself and then being like "meh" as the deadline comes and goes and nothing happens. <BR> <BR> So I'm publically announcing the following goal <BR> <BR> <BR> Lose my next 12 pounds by the end of February. This is very do-able and I calculated that I'll need to lose, on average, 1.6 pounds per week to achieve this. That's well within my recommended pace. And this 12 pounds is ba... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 12:20:41 EST Happy Talk, keep talking Happy Talk . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5162085 Although I had a fantastic weekend (or perhaps BECAUSE I had a fantastic weekend) I'm in a piss-poor Monday mood. So I need to re-visit my Happy Chunks theory and make a list of Happy Chunks: <BR> <BR> 1. I'm not sick. I feel great. <BR> 2. This week presents a lot of opportunities for exercise, so I can feel even greater. <BR> 3. I'm ambulatory. Even though my umbrella went kaput so I had to walk here in the rain, at least I was walking. <BR> 4. More things to look forward to this ... Mon, 10 Dec 2012 11:33:15 EST Listening to Your Body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5160180 LDRICHEL wrote a blog entry on "the best laid plans" and how your plans can change with circumstances, and some of it reminded me of a valuable lesson I learned way too late in life (but am glad I have it to live by and teach my daughter now!) <BR> <BR> I was raised in total with some weird, misguided unhealthy ideas, but one of the small ones was: if you're sick (cold, flu, tummy, whatever) and you don't feel like eating . . . FORCE YOURSELF. I think the idea was well intentioned as not w... Sat, 8 Dec 2012 12:24:05 EST Energized at the Beginning of a New Month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5153598 Yay, I love turning calendar pages. I try not to associate it with my child getting (rapidly) older, but rather a mini fresh start 12 times a year. I have a fitness plan worked out for the month and have continued my slow-but-steady loss to get a head start on New Year's Resolutions. <BR> <BR> Just wanted to stop by and drop some positive energy in this space, rather than complaining or bemoaning things. <BR> <BR> My weekend has been great. Got the tree and decorations put up yesterday, ... Sun, 2 Dec 2012 13:30:48 EST late November update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5144135 It seems like I'm only inspired to post here about negative times when my fitness goals aren't being met. This is just more of a general update to keep myself on track, along with a thing or two I've figured out / learned. <BR> <BR> In the past 11 weeks, I've consistently lost about 1 - 2 pounds per week, with two weigh-in exceptions. So I've figured out the formula I've had to learn after developing a weight problem in my mid-adult life: clean eating and lots of exercise. I was wildly s... Fri, 23 Nov 2012 10:41:06 EST mindless eating in the most literal sense of the word http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5127534 So earlier I lamented about my weight loss, while remaining steady, slowing down from its dramatic pace I started out with when I started Clean Eating. I attributed the slowdown to my relaxing some of my standards and having diet sodas a couple times a week instead of zero times. <BR> <BR> Then I posted in another online fitness community, and someone commented on all the sweets she'd had since Halloween. <BR> <BR> DUH! When I was racking my brain trying to figure out what went wrong and ... Wed, 7 Nov 2012 16:30:05 EST catching up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5126583 So my recently posted 7 pound drop was, unfortunately, reported after a self-check weigh in on an unsanctioned scale (meaning not the "official" one I weigh in on with my TOPS group) and was also the result of a 48 hour stomach virus and resulting dehydration. I really only lost 2 legitimate pounds, but that's okay by me. <BR> <BR> I fell short of my end-of-October goal by 1.5 pounds. Disappointing, but my overall loss for the month was, well, better than months of not losing? Trying to... Tue, 6 Nov 2012 20:07:42 EST sparksurvey lifted from RandyZ_Journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5120431 Not as easy as you might think! Copy and Paste into your own blog, change the answers to suit you. It's really hard to only use one word answers. <BR> <BR> Where is your cell phone? <BR> purse <BR> <BR> Spouse? <BR> n/a <BR> <BR> Your hair? <BR> fake <BR> <BR> Your mother? <BR> improved <BR> <BR> Your father? <BR> quirky <BR> <BR> Your favourite thing? <BR> laughter <BR> <BR> Your dream last night? <BR> forgotten <BR> <BR> Favorite drink? <BR> peachy <BR> <BR> What room a... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 15:10:00 EST getting myself in check http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5116440 So I just glanced down, and this subject heading basically means the same thing as my last one from a week ago. A little over a week ago, I got a crushing headache at lunchtime and decided it was okay to have a diet soda with lunch to crank some caffeine into my system to try to get rid of the headache. Since then, for whatever reason I guess I'd decided my standards had relaxed and had a diet soda and even a regular soda every 2 - 3 days or so. <BR> <BR> Then Friday night during my sec... Mon, 29 Oct 2012 08:24:09 EST system reset after a disappointing setback http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5110397 Well, tonight for the first time in 8 weeks, I gained half a pound for the week. This came as kind of a shock, as I had grown accustomed to the steady pound or two losses with what I was doing. I have to system reset and figure out what I had gotten lazy about. I still worked out, although maybe one day not attacking it as hard, and I did let calories slip two days. Two days, out of seven, and that's enough to register a gain instead of the steady losses I'd been experiencing. <BR> <BR> ... Tue, 23 Oct 2012 20:29:15 EST stats http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5103464 Something I haven't really done since using sparkpeople is take any other physical measurement besides my weight. (They took measurements when I was on the insurance-underwritten program, but I didn't pay attention to the numbers, and having the personal trainer wrap the tape measure around my girth gave me great anxiety.) Anyway, with the addition of the yoga practice, it was recommended, so I did get out a tape measure and measure my body in different places. <BR> <BR> My past thirty day... Thu, 18 Oct 2012 08:27:20 EST discovering more pitfalls http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5074504 The more mindful I've been about my health since nearing and entering my 40's, the more I can pinpoint what my triggers and problem areas are. Before any such mindfulness, I would just encounter them and give into them like there was no problem. Hence creating my big weight problem. <BR> <BR> Even though I thought I had a handle on it and was prepared this time, my most recent pitfall discovery is . . . <BR> <BR> TRAVELING <BR> <BR> I was so ready. I had my MP3 player loaded with my wo... Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:58:06 EST Pitfalls http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5057698 Okay, I just learned by reading one of the motivator blogs that we can add pictures and other things in our blogs, even though there is a large orange button that says ADD PICTURE right above the blogspace. <BR> <BR> So . . . here's my first blog graphic: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/6/l562405452.jpg"> <BR> <BR> We'll see if that works. <BR> <BR> The past 24 hours, I've dealt with two of my biggest "pitfalls": one being sitting on the couch with a box of cra... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 13:53:22 EST on a lighter note: progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5057372 I lost 2 pounds last week just by being hyper vigilant about what I eat and how much I exercise, which I guess is just how I have to be now. <BR> <BR> I completed W1D1 of C25k again, and I have to go to Denver for work next week, so I'll use the hotel fitness center (or something) to complete a couple more of these. <BR> <BR> Last night, I punked out halfway through Zumba toning class. I've only left class half way one time before in the last year, and that was because I felt sick. Last n... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 10:00:09 EST from my child's perspective http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5051851 This evening, Ladybug was looking at a magazine and came across a feature on healthy eating. We were looking at the pictures and talking about what we bought at the store, when she said, "You are never going to be skinny." <BR> <BR> "I'm not trying to be skinny," I said. "I'm trying to be healthy." <BR> <BR> "Do you see how fat you are? You're dreaming." Was her reply. <BR> <BR> First, please know Ladybug is my six-year-old. She was not being nasty or intentionally negative in any way... Mon, 10 Sep 2012 00:17:18 EST keeping it very, very real http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5049684 There are no more mysteries as to why I'm overweight and what it's going to take to make me not be that way. Actually, there really never were "mysteries" to me, I just never spent the time figuring it out until spending a year on that insurance-underwritten program, and now in employing those concepts on my own. <BR> <BR> Here's my "keeping it real" as in no secrets / no wonder, by way of an edited copied e-mail I sent to a friend earlier this week: Here's why I am frustrated at myself: o... Sat, 8 Sep 2012 11:58:54 EST new motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5042286 Less than a week of "clean eating," and I don't know if it's mind over matter or what, but I'm feeling better. My friend Mike who comments here sometimes is going to feel like Cassandra from the Greek Myth because he told me about both things I'm incorporating this week a long time ago. <BR> <BR> First, the eating clean. Mike put it something like, "don't eat it if it comes out of a box," and I agreed conceptually but continued to justify certain purchases "for my kid." I'm gradually phas... Mon, 3 Sep 2012 10:48:13 EST calorie choices http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5039740 I agree with my SP friend Mike that the social aspect of this is finally reaching me. I've been a member of TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) for a long time, since long before I developed a weight problem of this magnitude, and I love the other members, but they don't quite provide the motivation I need -- we're just too different of people with too different experiences (mostly elderly women who've had entire joints replaced or who care for disabled spouses, etc.) <BR> <BR> Anyway, so I fin... Sat, 1 Sep 2012 08:59:39 EST increased effort required for even "slow and steady" loss . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5039089 I probably wrote about this before closer to when it happened, but I've had reason of late to review the Wisdom from Marty the Personal Trainer (who scares the bejeezus out of me.) <BR> <BR> Marty used tests and formulas to determine my Resting Metabolic Rate. This number is the amount of calories my body requires to stay alive at my current weight, with just regular metabolic processes operating: breathing, eyes blinking, etc. <BR> <BR> If you take this number and subtract 500 per day, a... Fri, 31 Aug 2012 17:00:07 EST social media and goal setting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5036981 My old friend from high school started a facebook group with a bunch of local women dedicated to weight loss and fitness, and I'm surprised at how an evening perusing everybody's updates was so motivational. <BR> <BR> She started a thread on goal setting, and I was also surprised at not only how frozen I was at the idea of actually posting my weight (okay this part wasn's surprising) but then I mini panic attacked over posting my "biggest goal." I didn't want to say it because it was too ov... Thu, 30 Aug 2012 07:02:27 EST "runner's" high http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5001350 This is the text of an email that I sent a friend who long-distance "coaches" me this evening. I was curious for anyone's response, really, anything I can find out about this phenomenon, and whether anyone thinks weight loss would come easier if I quit being so frustrated by it being my goal. Other benefits I know I've reaped are just, more "endurance" (?) in general in life, feeling physically better and not punking out and becoming useless at work or home, my blood panel and other doctor... Sat, 4 Aug 2012 23:07:11 EST