JMOSESRN's SparkPeople Blog JMOSESRN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Moving forward musings <img src=""> It's been a long long road. I can't remember now how long I've been with SparkPeople.... I lost over 120 pounds and even though I'm kicking myself for gaining back so much in the past 2 years I have come a huge distance. I'm still 75 pounds below my start weight. I went from LPN to RN to Assistant Director of Nursing with all of you sparkers by my side. I'm still an anxiety riddled mess some days, but... Sat, 4 Nov 2017 16:09:17 EST Day One - 2016 edition <img src=""> <BR> Today I begin again. Tracking every bite. Doing real, purposeful exercise. I will continue walking/hiking and getting my ten thousand steps. And I will move forward from here. I am not a rock star. I did not let my "fans" down. I let MYSELF down. But I did not and will not give up. Mon, 25 Jul 2016 06:25:21 EST Hiking the Appalachian Trail <img src=""> A log term goal of mine is to hike a large section if not ALL of the Appalachian Trail. Today, with my father and two youngest kids, I spent about 6 hours hiking part of the KIillington Vermont section of the trail. I'm sore, but proud. We made memories and burned a TON of calories and I renewed my excitement for the goal. All in all a good day. Sat, 5 Sep 2015 21:32:52 EST Still in the Fight <img src=""> It's been a LONG time between blog entries, but I'm still here. I slipped back over 200 pounds when I let life's pressures and financial set backs weigh me down (literally). But I'm still more than 100 pounds under my starting weight and I'm still eating SO MUCH healthier than I did before SparkPeople. I'm finally within half a pound of getting back under 200 and starting to get excited about my journe... Thu, 3 Sep 2015 00:37:39 EST Event Horizon - Healthy Shopping <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> I am so excited I am in tears. It sounds like such a small thing, but my husband just offered to plan a healthy menu with me before we go shopping. <BR> <BR> Don't get me wrong. This man is my rock, my best friend, my hero. His eating habits however.... He loves all the same fattening greasy calorie laden treats that were my downfall in the past. Having them in the house creates such a temptation for me.... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 08:23:47 EST Recovering Food Addicts Want You to Know <img src=""> <BR> Emotional eater, chronic overeater. Call it what you will. I prefer Recovering Food Addict because it implies the depth of my struggle, but that I AM fighting it. And the people who care about me play a huge part in that fight. It's not always easy to speak up to people when you know they mean well, but here is the run down of what needs to be said. <BR> <BR> 1. No it's not heroin or alcohol but it IS an addiction and... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 17:29:37 EST The New "Before" <img src=""> <BR> This is me after losing well over 100 lb. I have gained back a few pounds over the Holidays and was becoming discouraged. I was losing my momentum. This new challenge to lose 5% of my body weight over the next 8 weeks will be a swift kick in the attitude. I'm already finding myself getting excited over fitness again. <BR> Here's wishing my fellow STARFISH and I a fun and successful challenge ! <BR> P.S. a hundred plus p... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 11:53:29 EST 5k? Who would have thought ...? I can't help looking back today. Reflecting, marvelling at how far I have come... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Two years ago I avoided crossing the driveway to check the mail. If I got up the energy to walk the kids to the bus stop I had to stop and rest several times along the way. Climbing the stairs at home left my blood pounding in my ears. <BR> <BR> Yesterday... Sun, 30 Nov 2014 09:40:40 EST I Believe in Magic After 44 years of soul searching, my husband has finally decided what he wants to be when he grows up. <BR> He has delivered newspapers, made pizza, run various cash registers, sold video rentals, worked in every major fast food outlet in the area, run and set up million dollar machines in the manufacturing industry, and I can't even remember what all else. And now we finally have our answer. <BR> Mr. J. S. Moses will soon be a published author. The fantasy novels he has been writ... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 02:24:48 EST Lost My Spark I literally, on the way home from work a little over a week ago, lost my spark. My precious spark tracker fell off somewhere in the woods as I was hurrying home after a 12 hour shift. I have retraced my steps numerous times, but it just seems to have vanished, <BR> <em>39</em> <BR> This came on the heels of a couple of pounds of unexpected weight regained, and a perfect storm of stressors at work and at home. I have cried and pouted and been thoroughly thrown off my "groove". I balked... Sun, 18 May 2014 03:07:56 EST On the importance of Using I have struggled as my weight loss journey progressed with learning to take a compliment. My strategy ? Deflect. Its all thanks to my supportive family and friends. Couldn't have done it without SparkPeople. My Spark Activity tracker got me this far. These things are true. <BR> <BR> They, however are not the WHOLE truth. These deflections leave out the most important PART of the truth: the importance of using. <BR> <BR> No tracker will get me anywhere if I don't lace up my sn... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 16:48:11 EST Aaand She's Gone I weighed 122 pounds on my wedding day. I look back at the pictures now and see that I was rail thin. But my self image at the time was terrible. Years of yo-yo dieting and low self esteem had taken their toll and I felt bloated and ugly no matter what others tried to tell me. It was a beautiful day though, and for a moment; when my husband first saw me in that gown and caught his breath, I felt like a Princess. <BR> Life happened fast after that. Always in financial crisis and my bea... Sat, 22 Feb 2014 09:05:24 EST The Story So Far A look at my weight loss experience Fri, 24 Jan 2014 08:57:03 EST Distortion Dilema At 199 pounds I still have 40-50 pounds to lose before I reach my goal weight. I have no doubt that I can and will reach my goal. I have already lost well over a hundred pounds so its just a matter of putting in the time and effort. <BR> <BR> So, here's where the dilemma comes in. I don't have an accurate view of my own body. I know now that I NEVER have. When I was first married and weighed just over 120 I worried that my wedding dress would show how "fat" I was. And now, when I t... Sat, 11 Jan 2014 11:30:30 EST If We Make it Through December... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My husband likes to bring up the lyrics of that old country song that our Moms used to hum when times got tough. If we make it through December...Everything's gonna be alright.... <BR> <BR> This time of year, amidst all the celebrating can be hard for some of us. At a time when we are expected to be singing and spreading joy, many are feeling the effects of Seasonal Depression starting in as the days grow shorter... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 14:28:21 EST The Long Explore I have reaped a wonderful and unexpected benefit in my journey to fitness. Being outside walking hiking and climbing my way to a hundred pound loss has led me to a new familiarity with the nearby woods and back roads. I have been able to see and experience the beauty of the Vermont landscape and have developed a profound respect and appreciation for this little town at the base of the mountain. <BR> <BR> Glorious sunrise <BR> <img src=" Sat, 16 Nov 2013 09:19:31 EST New Heights - New Beginnings <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> November marks the start of "Phase 2" of my fitness program. <BR> <BR> I am down more than 100 pounds. I am 50 pounds from my goal weight. I have developed the habit of walking every day. The coming cold weather and snow will be a challenge, but one that I am ready to meet. I will continue to work on consuming plenty of water, and trimming back on red meat, salt, and refined sugar. And I intend to focu... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 08:06:04 EST Halloween, Goal Day <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well at 107.4 pounds lost, I came in 2.6 pounds shy of my inital weight loss goal. But I'm shaking it off and setting my sights on the coming year. 50 pounds to go. Wish me luck ! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> Thu, 31 Oct 2013 13:11:07 EST The hike home... Not much to say this morning. I'm tired and need to get to bed. I just wanted to share the beauty I encountered on my hike home from work this morning.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful day... Sun, 29 Sep 2013 09:26:48 EST One AMAZING Year <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today is a special day for me. A year ago today, I started on my weight loss journey. In one year I have lost 102 pounds. That I was able to do that was surprising enough. What was far MORE surprising was what I gained. I gained strength. I can lift, pull, push, carry so much more than I could a year ago. I gained confidence. I smile in my pictures now. I don't try and fade into the background. I gained kno... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 10:03:00 EST A Happy Milestone Even though I'm working tonight, and even though it's been a pretty terrible week. I'm smiling. I just broke the 90 pound mark. In fact, I've lost just over 91 pounds ! It feels so good to be so close to losing 100 pounds. Every ten pound milestone boasts my spirits and keeps me moving forward. Thank you SparkPeople and SparkFriends for another small victory. <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 24 Jul 2013 00:37:20 EST 9 Months of Learning <img src=""> <BR> Today marks 9 months of working towards my fitness goals. I have learned SO much along the way. <BR> <BR> - I have learned that you don't need to eat until you are full; only until you are not hungry. <BR> <BR> - I have learned to love low fat, low calorie snacks like strawberries and snap peas <BR> <BR> - I have learned that a portion size is not what McDonalds or Denny's would have you believe. <BR> <BR> - I have ... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:05:12 EST A very GOOD day My son Stephen graduated from high-school this morning. And my husband posted this picture of us on his Facebook wall.. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is one of the responses he got... <BR> <BR> "Where's your wife? Oh there she is! Jesus Christ. The great Janet Moses meltdown. FML. I wanted to congratulate your son. But Jesus look at your wife man!!! Lol" <BR> <BR> Forgive my shameless vanity, but that just made my day. <em>33... Sun, 9 Jun 2013 00:05:04 EST Eighty Baby ! As of last night's weigh in I am down 80 pounds. I'm really starting to feel like this is doable. I might actually lose this weight.... It's a damned good feeling... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And here I am getting into my old "comfy pants" <em>334</em> Wed, 29 May 2013 09:04:07 EST Weight Loss and the Lottery Recently overheard in a conversation at work: " You always talk about winning powerball, but you never even buy a ticket " <BR> <BR> <em>3</em> <BR> <BR> In the past I often talked about my fantasy of winning Powerball and being thin and healthy in the same breath. As if they carried the same odds. And at that point I suppose they did. Because although I usually remembered to buy my Power ball ticket, I never realized I could buy my weight loss ticket as well. And now that I've bough... Thu, 28 Mar 2013 18:18:52 EST Six Month Milestone <img src=""> <BR> <BR> While I created my account several years ago on SparkPeople; today marked six months of healthy living with the help of this site. I have tracked my food every day. I have cut back on fat and stayed within the recommended calorie range. I have switched from white bread to whole grain. I have switched to skim milk and healthy cereals. I now view treats as treats rather than a food group. I am drinking more water... Mon, 18 Mar 2013 23:05:46 EST Cheers ! So I had this big long depressing blog post written, and my computer ate it. Perhaps I should take a hint and try to be a tad less gloomy.... <BR> <BR> The tail end of winter gets me down the way it drags. But it's not forever. Spring will come in just a little while. And while I do need to do better with my exercise, I have improved my water intake and tracking. And I am still losing weight. I recently celebrated the milestone of reaching the halfway point to my goal. I've lost more than 5... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 03:13:20 EST January in Review So now we've arrived at the end of the month. <BR> I survived another round of Strep. <BR> My middle son was accepted to the college of his choice <BR> We've had some of the coldest weather I've ever experienced <BR> I'm continuing to track EVERYTHING I eat <BR> Both cars broke down <BR> I broke the 50lb weight loss mark ! <BR> I have not been tracking my exercise or water consistently. <BR> <BR> So the agenda for February is - meet my halfway point of 55lb. Do better with tracking ... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 01:07:07 EST A little under four months.... <img src="">. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I finally bought myself clothes that fit my changing body. I'm down two sizes ! I just need to remind myself when I feel like going back to eating the way that I used to that this IS working and it IS worth it. Sat, 12 Jan 2013 13:08:28 EST Snowed in <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I sincerely wish i felt the way my daughter does about the snow. We've been getting snow off and on since Christmas Eve. so pretty on the trees and mountains. Not so lovely on the roads and driveways. I think someday I shall be fabulously wealthy and just travel from place to place following the best weather.... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 17:48:56 EST Action Plan res·o·lu·tion  (rz-lshn) <BR> n. <BR> 1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination. <BR> 2. A resolving to do something. <BR> 3. A course of action determined or decided on. <BR> <BR> The time of year has come again for talk of New Years' Resolutions. But I have learned that resolving simply to "lose weight" isn't enough. I've resolved every year for twenty years or more to lose this weight and it climbed steadily upward each year. This year I have resolved to create and sti... Sat, 29 Dec 2012 13:16:15 EST Holiday Blur I haven't posted in a while. The last couple of weeks have been a blur of work and Holiday preperations and a few days of being very very sick. <BR> The winter weather has put a real damper on my walking. I am going to need to get very creative with my excersize these next couple of months. I lack the space and privace to do as much with the workout videos as I'd like. <BR> I have found that resistance bands are portable and challenging. I'll be relying quite a bit on them thi... Thu, 27 Dec 2012 02:33:37 EST KrisMouse Brrrrr..... Cold cold walk this evening with the kids. It's so encouraging to notice as we're walking that the hills are far less challenging than they were not so long ago. We got hot cocoa and did some caroling... even bought a cute new ornament for the tree. I'm still working on thawing out, but it was worth it. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:38:51 EST Perspective So I was sitting here getting ready to beat myself up for eating what I shouldn't. Ready to drown in guilt and self loathing over food again. Then I stopped, and simply held myself accountable by typing what I'd eaten into my food tracker... and I gained some major perspective. <BR> <BR> My big sin ? Half of a small piece of cheesecake made with fresh fruit and fat free topping and ONE chocolate chip cookie with ice-water instead of milk. So did I consume late-night calories I didn't nee... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 02:17:07 EST One Winter's Night It is a bitter-cold night out and the wind won't leave the hood of my jacket on, but the full moon is breathtaking. Here in Vermont we have just a dusting of snow. Enough to make everything festive, without compromising the footing for my moonlight walks. Working the night shift affords me the chance to enjoy moments like this that I would otherwise sleep through. My nose is red and the tops of my ears are frozen, but it's worth it... <BR> <BR> <img src=" Thu, 29 Nov 2012 02:41:50 EST Note the name change... I just changed my name on Spark people from JMosesLPN to JMosesRN. Because I passed my NCLEX !!!!!! Oh happy day ! <BR> <em>104</em> <BR> I took the test yesterday morning after being awake all night with nerves. Got home and crashed for a few hours and headed in to work for my 12hr night shift. It was weigh in night and I was overjoyed to find I had hit that 30 pound mark. I have lost 30 pounds so far ! It made waiting for my results easier knowing I had met that goal. <BR> <BR> I ... Wed, 21 Nov 2012 15:40:55 EST juggling It's a balancing act this week. Trying to take advantage of time to be with my family. Trying to stay on track with fitness and nutrition. Fighting the never ending battle of clutter and laundry. And the count down to tomorrow morning means STUDY STUDY STUDY. It's downright exhausting. I took a break late last evening to meet my husband at the store where he works. I hadn't gotten my daily walk in yet, so I figured what the heck ? My big splurge of the day consisted of two chicken wings ... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 06:10:09 EST Excitement, Happiness, and STRESS What an emotionally wild time this is for me. I have FINALLY saved enough money and gotten all the paperwork where it needed to be to be able to take my NCLEX exam for my RN. I should have taken it right after graduation but there was always one more thing that had to be done first. And another and another. Now it's six months out and I'm terrified that I've forgotten everything. Studying my buns off though. I test Tuesday morning. <BR> <BR> Took a break from the studying today to go hiki... Sun, 18 Nov 2012 00:02:37 EST Still Exploring So I worked my 12 hour overnight, came home and spent a little time with my husband, and CRASHED. I was afraid I would end up sleeping my whole day off, but woke up with an hour or so of daylight left. Yay !!! <BR> <BR> My oldest son Logan and I set off on a hike and discovered some land nearby that's for sale. I WANT IT! Powerball dream.... Bordered by forest trails. So pretty. We followed a path up the hillside back towards our apartment complex. Quite steep... good cardio. lol <BR> ... Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:41:15 EST Still Here We're heading into the middle of November and I'm still with it. I'm staying on track with my calorie count. I'm exploring new healthy foods and recipes. Finding ways to cut fat and calories and boost nutrition. Still walking and exploring new routes and destinations. I'm adding new exercises to my repitior. I'm not only proud, but I'm surprising myself.... <BR> I've lost 27 pounds so far. At this week's weigh in on Tuesday night I'm really hoping to break that 30 pound mark. I'l... Mon, 12 Nov 2012 02:57:30 EST Feeling it I'm really feeling as if I've made a permanent lifestyle change here. I survived a Halloween that was dragged out for nearly a week by the wild weather and managed to stay in my calorie range. It has become no-big-deal to walk the mile and a half to our local convenience store with the kids. It wasn't that long ago that walking across the driveway to check the mail was a trip I avoided.... These are huge changes for me. I've found healthy snacks I enjoy. I'm thinking about my healthy hab... Tue, 6 Nov 2012 07:30:34 EST Victory in the Dark So... the day got away from me a bit. I got called in to work the overnight. In the morning there were bills to pay and costumes to get ready for the kids Halloween party this weekend. I finally lay down for a nap before my 5k, and by the time I woke up it was dark. I was dissapointed and angry for a bit... and then thought.... screw this. That's what flashlights are for. so I rounded up any willing participants in my family ( two of my sons) and headed out for our First Annual Moonlight... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 00:10:16 EST YESSSSS !!!!! Tonight's weigh in has me walking on air. I had hoped to hit the 20lb loss mark by tonight and I actually overshot it by nearly 4lb. I was just getting ready to be discouraged... starting to feel like I was losing momentum. Apparently not. I may develop shoulder strain from patting myself on the back. <BR> <em>185</em> <BR> <img src=""> Tue, 30 Oct 2012 23:31:35 EST Sweating it... So tonight is weigh-in night... <BR> and each week I stress over it more and more. <BR> I weigh myself on the machine at work for consistency/accuracy. <BR> As the time to step on the scale gets closer I reflect on the previous week and wonder how each decision will affect my number. <BR> Did I burn enough calories on those hikes to bring my weight down ? <BR> Did I build muscle, and will that bring my number up ? <BR> I know I should be focusing on how I feel over all and not just ... Tue, 23 Oct 2012 06:37:54 EST I could go on for miles... I guess the beautiful weather yesterday after weeks of rain got to me. I overdid things a bit and between two seperate hikes I logged about 8 miles. My youngest and I hiked through the graveyard and the woods and back around through town to meet my husband at work. Then late in the evening the boys and I made a 3 mile store run in the dark for a new twist on our adventuring. Wouldn't have missed it, but OH MAN am I sore! <BR> <img src=" Sun, 21 Oct 2012 19:56:21 EST The Leaves are Changing .... And so am I. I'm finally taking steps to take my NCLEX and get my RN license. I'm finally motivated to make the changes I need to make in my life. I'm eating better and moving more and it hasn't magically solved my every problem but I feel BETTER about myself. I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm finally able to tap into that stubborn streak for my own benefit. Of course that doesn't mean I'm not scared half out of my mind of failing..... Wish me luck ! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://p... Thu, 18 Oct 2012 01:31:47 EST Ups-n-Downs I have ups and I have downs. Friday was an up day, Saturday... not so much. I think my oldest daughter heading back to college had me down. And the steady stream of company she had over her vacation left our house in dissaray... I've found that a messy house really affects my mood. That's been one advantage of my health initiative though. I've kept my house looking nicer because cleaning keeps me busy and out of the fridge ! I agreed to work a couple of extra days and that put me in a sou... Sun, 14 Oct 2012 00:52:44 EST Positively positive... So now I'm down 14 pounds. It feels like I've come so far these past few weeks. I've discovered new foods that I can enjoy guilt free. I tried a recipe that I found on SP for pumpkin muffins and my entire family was impressed. I've spent so much time outdoors, walking, hiking, and exploring. I think that beyond the health benefits this has done wonders for my emotional well being. I'm making memories with my kids. That alone is worth every minute. Just a terribly positive" keep moving ... Fri, 12 Oct 2012 01:27:21 EST Sick but not defeated I had my doubts about accomplishing much of anything physical with this head-cold, so I started this morning with a 10 minute walk. I figured that way I was guilt free, even if that was all I accomplished. My oldest is home from college with her boyfriend and it's been so nice to have all five kids home at once. On a whim, my middle son, Stephen-Van, decided we should hike to the resevior. This time we took HIS route directly up the hill through the woods, instead of up the mountain road. W... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 21:34:36 EST Harvest I took my oldest son and my youngest daughter to our local Harvest Festival yesterday. Tons and tons of walking, which great for staying on track. Despite all of the tempting food choices, I only indulged in a small amount of Maple Cotton Candy and a shared cider donut. At the end of the day I was still well within calorie range. Yay me ! Between Friday's hike and the hours of walking around town yesterday, everything from my belly-button down is on fire... My walk today is apt to be a sh... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 00:36:50 EST