JITZUROE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JITZUROE JITZUROE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ An unpleasant reality check http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856039 My mom called this morning and cancelled her trip out to see me. <BR> Yesterday she had called to tell me how much she was looking forward to seeing me, how she wanted to just spend time with me, even if just in silence (if Ethel was being mean and my pain was high). <BR> Guess I should cancel the hotel reservation, and will definitely get charged. <BR> I will give myself today to be sad. I think that's only fair. <BR> Am hoping to bounce back soon, but feeling quite deflated at the moment.... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 20:56:02 EST Years can pass, but when you hear that voice, your memories awaken. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5853534 Honestly I am looking back at the past few days and feel I've binged on each one of them. This is a weird place to be emotionally. <BR> Verrrrry long story short: mom left when I was young. Few sightings of her, then gone. I haven't seen her in 15+ years. Then BOOM she contacted me last week and announced she was flying out to see me this coming Friday (!!!). <BR> <BR> I'm completely emotionally confused, wrecked and just plain weirded out. Need to get myself together. <BR> Am amazed at h... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:07:49 EST Feel like a hippo sat on me wearing ankle weights - carrying a giant bag of quarters. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5848510 Finally home from the hospital after a week's worth of (painful) IV treatment to bring some life back to my ailing feet. <BR> This was Operation Save My Feet Round 2. <BR> <BR> Two days into treatment my epidural became infected (again??), and the medication for my feet had to be shut off. Scary reminder that this exact thing happened in October, and I was sent home then. <BR> <BR> If things weren't complicated enough, I had suddenly lost all feeling in my legs, and was informed that I co... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 11:09:40 EST Medical Supply Closet Contents Stuck To My Chest, Ha! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5812532 <BR> Well I wasn't able to cancel this procedure [would have been the third time], and finally went through with getting my power medi-port surgery yesterday. My veins are so uncooperative at this point that it is simply impossible to get an IV in. That meant that blood infusion were on hold, as well as any pain treatments or surgeries too. Very annoying when your disease decides to cross arms and snub it's nose at you. <BR> <BR> I couldn't 'will' my veins to be cooperative for the doctors ... Fri, 7 Nov 2014 11:07:14 EST I seem to be sporting a reverse MOHAWK... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5802065 ...down the peach fuzz of my back. From the base of my head to my tailbone. The docs used what they call 'pink tape' (it's actually peach guys!) to anchor the wires and tubing from a long term epidural in my spine. <BR> I told the nurses that they should complete the task and give me the full body wax, rather than just the peach-fuzzy reverse mohawk, since my punk rock gal phase was decades ago, ha! <BR> <BR> BAH HUMBUG GRUMBLE WARNING: I've was booted out of The Joint 4 days early due to po... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 10:39:30 EST Operation 'Save My Feet'! A necessary chapter in my book? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5797449 Are you a foot person? Love to get a pedi and pick some adorable polish? Umm, then this blog might not be the most appealing (sorry!). <BR> <BR> I don't have toenails to paint, and quite frankly can't handle anyone touching my feet due to pain. Oh boy, my feet certainly are NOT cute either. Swollen. Cracked. Flaming red and hot to touch in most areas, purple in others. My little piggies are ulcerated and infected. Poor pups are quite unhappy. <BR> I miss my cuter feet. Shoot, I miss shoes! ... Mon, 13 Oct 2014 13:03:04 EST My Body Isn't a Wonderland. It's an Obstacle Course! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786152 Internal questioning dialogue: <BR> Do I count the full amount of exercise minutes even though I had to sit in a chair, instead of standing up to do all of the exercises? <BR> Am I being a cheater? <BR> <BR> I only logged 8 min of a 10 min workout today since my foot cramped up so badly that I had to practically stop, drop and roll to get the cramp out. Seemed logical to only log 8 min since the foot cramps are out of my control. Done. No biggie. <BR> <BR> Then my mind wandered to physical ... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 13:22:03 EST Umm, I don't have enough underwear for that... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5772666 As Ricky Ricardo says, "lemme splain". But first I wanted to share why I needed to give my body a fighting chance. See, apparently my home has it in for me, really. <BR> <BR> My pain has continually crept up because of a few things that were out of my control: <BR> Our very specialized (and pricy) 2-year-old air conditioning system flopped and basically died. It's been really warm this summer in CA. AC is critical for my daily life. <BR> <BR> My husband left a puddle of water on the floor... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 13:40:29 EST I don't need to count my blessings. They surround me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745759 As the bubbling, gurgling tar-like funk starts to recede, I can now see remnants of my true self underneath (phew). And I am able to better reflect on the shiny gems set throughout last week's Mayo Clinic trip, not just the pain and the tears. <BR> <BR> To kick things off, the flight attendants were made aware of my disease and my special needs for travel. They were very attentive, and brought me ice packs often. That was great. <BR> <BR> There was an issue with the air conditioning where I... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:49:00 EST S.O.S. I need help from my Spark friends... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743639 I'm struggling with such high pain since this second trip to the Mayo Clinic. I feel like I'm just enveloped in pain pain pain. <BR> I'm used to sucking it up in my own way and trudging through it. But this pain is like a pool of molasses though, too thick. <BR> <BR> One of my dearest Spark friends reminded me that I was not in this alone. That there are many who care about me, and would probably like to know that I'm in a painful place currently. She told me that it is in fact a strength t... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 18:48:21 EST Pain Management Therapy suggests I find one thing daily that I am able to do... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712850 <BR> Regardless of crazy a$$ pain burning throughout my bod'. The animal that chronic pain has become can change and morph daily. Lesson: don't expect you can do a certain task daily. Be thankful for today if you can button those buttons, since you just don't know if those buttons will be so friendly tomorrow. <BR> <BR> You have to learn to change and grow if you have a condition that does the same. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l19362531.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Ca... Sat, 7 Jun 2014 14:22:45 EST A self-loving life is like a bowl of trail mix... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5647029 <BR> Can I tell you how many dirty day dreams I've had of velveeta mac n cheese or chocolate dipped macaroons? Oh yes, really. <BR> I'm throwing that out there to expose you to how obsessed I have allowed myself to be regarding food over the years. <BR> My pain management therapist helped me come to the reality that this is a coping mechanism that I have created and fed as a way to cope with my health and chronic pain. As Ethel grew and raged over the years, I have reacted in unhealthy ways... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 14:12:57 EST Mourning the loss of my pain treatment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5608410 It's been 3 weeks since my last round of pain treatment at the joint (the hospital), and those last drops of treatment drugs seem to have been depleted. <BR> I find myself sad about that since that also means that restful sleep is now a luxury I won't get much of, and my annoying pain is back to 100%. I seem to have a whole litter of new lesions breaking through on my hands and feet too, which force me to think twice about walking or touching anything, and take months to heal. <BR> Although... Tue, 28 Jan 2014 16:28:38 EST The next chapter. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565640 Strange week for me, as this will be my last week at work. Time to go on disability. I've been at my job for over 13 years, but Ethel has just become too much. The swollen bumps and lesions on my hands and feet make it just insanely painful to move much, on top of my daily swelling and pain. I feel like I have to move mountains in order to walk more than a few feet, and driving is a bit too challenging for the time being. <BR> My pain doctors said last week that they were concerned that my E... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 12:00:46 EST Did I surprise you? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5476936 Did you hear from me recently? Was it a bit of a shock? <BR> Hi, I'm Bren. I most likely slammed you with a goodie (or two) recently. If not, look out, it's coming. I'm basically blowing my spark points piggy bank and goody'ing all of my sparkly friends. I've been lagging in that departmeant, so forgive me. <BR> I do really want to be encouraging and supportive for you, heck, even just plain silly. I've been fighting my body lately, and felt it easier to just lie down (with my legs up over m... Thu, 5 Sep 2013 16:07:47 EST 99...? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5463080 99 Bottles? Nope, I don't really drink. <BR> 99 Cents Store? Uh Uh, I am not the land of discount stuff and strangely scented air fresheners. <BR> 99 Problems? I'm not JayZ... <BR> <BR> I'm feeling like a bit of a Paleo failure. I was really putting my eggs in one basket with this Paleo lifestyle thing. But of course, one diet lifestyle does not fit all (Bingo!). <BR> <BR> Day 99 of my Paleo journey officially ended yesterday. Unfortunately for me, I gained at least another 5lbs this past ... Thu, 22 Aug 2013 12:56:11 EST From the other side of the curtain. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5447484 Back from another stint at the hospital due to pain ruling my world. Good times! Ok, not really. I had to drive myself to the hospital this time and have the valet guy get me wheeled over to the admitting desk (yuck). <BR> <BR> Once again I had most of the same nurses and staff caring for me as with my hospital stay from a few weeks prior. During this week-long adventure I was moved to four different rooms. 2 of them were private rooms (score!). But alas, others needed them much more than I ... Wed, 7 Aug 2013 10:20:27 EST Stupid K-Cups and a neat DIY way to solve my conundrum. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5415534 Just a random blurb for those of you who have one of those thingies. I purchased a couple of refillable coffee cups to be environmentally friendly and most importantly, I was able to keep up on my passion for Peets Coffee. <BR> <BR> See, last year there was no such thing as Peets Coffee in a K-Cup single use package, and I simply would not be denied my daily fix. Of course they finally released Peets in K-Cup form last week in my tiny grocery store (doh!). <BR> Alas, I am still able to give ... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 12:47:18 EST Whole 30? 45? What am I doing wrong? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5407766 I'm on day 45 of what was supposed to be a 30 day food challenge called Whole 30. Eating extremely well, but also eating strict. It IS doable, but one just needs to commit to it like a new love (or a new pair of shoes? New workout clothes? New hairstyle? Ha!!! <BR> <BR> The plan focuses on great foods: lean protein, veggies, good fats, fruits, nuts and seeds. And keeping out all things that are thought to encourage inflammation or cravings, like: dairy, beans, soy, grains, sugar and artifici... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 18:49:46 EST I don't want to be the experiment I want to be the success story...(it's long, sorry!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5401718 "I'm Mikey and I'll be taking you to your room from the recovery area. Don't forget my name, ok?" he said with a smile as he wheeled my gurney to the C wing of Stanford Hospital. <BR> The nurses hooked me up to various machines as Mikey started to wheel the gurney out of what was to be my room for a little bit. "What's my name?" He asked. "Mikey" I said. "Thanks for the lift" I smiled back. <BR> <BR> I've just come home from a 10 day stay at the hospital. I accepted the challenge of anothe... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 20:07:02 EST Prepping for Surgery with Paul Newman http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5386320 <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/4/l84764256.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke. Such a classic. Have you seen it? Well if you remember the scene where Luke (Paul Newman) is trying to break free from the chain-gang while on a bathroom break you might still have this silly line of his stuck in your noggin like I do. He kept yelling out, "shakin' the bush Boss! I'm shakin' the bush!" to let the warden know that he was going to the bathroom and all was well. Bat... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:58:15 EST I enter the hospital as a patient and exit a spoon thief? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5336643 I was feeling REALLY messed up yesterday. A bad mixture/cocktail/pharmaceutical blend if you will. One of those drugs sent me into a series of weird moments with my cool pain doctor saying 'Bren! Bren! Can you open your eyes for a minute?!' commands. <BR> I couldn't. <BR> I was in a weird coma-bored-to-tears-ish- 'I can hear you but I cannot reply' chapter of my stay. And I was stuck in it from 8:00 pm on Tuesday through yesterday (Thursday) around 2:00 pm. <BR> I was sleeping but not slee... Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:55:47 EST I'm at the crossroads right now as I type... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5320105 *Warning* Venting and food porn! But also in dire need of encouragement. <BR> <BR> I brought the medical bills to work since its easier to call and figure out the current $ due with a live person on the line, right? The amount due was much higher than in the past, or even 6 months ago. Wow our insurance has really pooped out since January of this year. First is was the prescriptions of mine that they simply no longer covered (ok, we will deal with that). But now I need to pay over $600.00 ... Thu, 11 Apr 2013 21:02:03 EST A little frost in your day can be a neat thing! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5318671 Benefits of cold weather (from someone who must be in cold temps at all times!) <BR> <BR> Doctors claim that cold weather boosts your metabolism in your body's effort to stay warm, so people tend to lose more weight in cold weather. Hmmmm? I Like it! <BR> <BR> Pesky insects don't survive in freezing weather. No Mosquitos, Fleas, etc! Which also means none of the horrible diseases that these insects carry either. <BR> <BR> All the dog poo in the back yard freezes, making it easier to scoo... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 16:43:18 EST Dark chocolate covered inspiration? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5309398 Were you assaulted by marshmallow peeps or that danged Cadbury Egg? <BR> I'm pretty sure I consumed both. Blech. <BR> I won't say I blew it this holiday weekend, but I certainly didn't fare well. <BR> I DID have an 'aha' moment last night though, and I am kinda impressed with myself. <BR> Is it possible to be disappointed by my appearance and my eating issues and still give myself some kudo's? Important to note that these are not the real candy bar Kudo's of the grocery type, but a much nee... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 21:19:16 EST Elvis has left the building http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5076172 I have used this phrase in reference to my hands and feet often, but this time I am referring to my nails.  <BR> They seem to be leaving the building. As in, 'Elvis has left the building'. <BR> <BR> I've noticed that I dwell on this recent occurrence more than I should. <BR> By then again, how can I avoid it? My hands are right there in front of me. I generally cover my legs with a pair of black tights and a skirt, so that doesn't nag me too often. But my nail-less fingers...it gets under my... Wed, 26 Sep 2012 18:53:53 EST Pig Pen Response http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5029280 <BR> I am now referring to my frenzied stuff-face behavior as the 'Pig Pen response' (remember that kid from Peanuts?).  <BR> I know I am not alone here. <BR> Have you ever felt like you just have a whirlwind of items on that to-do list, truly enveloping you?All are important, and all with an urgent deadline.  <BR> At that moment, the freezer and pantry light up like neon signs, advertising their sweet and salty contents like a mini Las Vegas! I won't tempt you with the food porn... <BR> <B... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:08:17 EST Check out time is 12:00PM right? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5005555 Does that apply for hospitals? <BR> For this trip I've been a 'guest' in the hospital for over 2 weeks. I've gotten the best care by truly talented people. <BR> Initially I was admitted into the hospital via the E.R. over the 4th of July weekend, and stayed for 8 days due to painful nerve flares. I was so homesick and bolted at the first chance I was given to go home. Unfortunately I checked out too soon. <BR> I was so happy to be home, but my disease refused to follow the doctor's orders. A ... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 18:21:31 EST Plumbing and bladder problems at the hospital. One in the same? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4970993 <BR> The hospital I am currently a guest in is under construction. Yesterday the nurse came into my room and told us that we could not use the sinks, toilets or even drink the drinking water. They were not sure when the problem would be resolved and were not told what exactly happened. <BR> <BR> A moment later another nurse brought in some blue bags with kitty litter-like crystals, and told me that I would need to 'go' in the bags which would be placed on commode chairs to avoid the toilet... Sun, 15 Jul 2012 09:24:18 EST Oopsies. Perhaps my plan for the week has only been in my head so far http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4957958 And here it's Friday already. Sorry. <BR> I've been fighting the pain monster all week it seems and still trying to keep my brain focused on my goals which are (finally) posted below: <BR> <BR> My goal for this week was to to do some type of workout (even if modified) at least 5 days this week. <BR> Also shoot for 2-3 completely meat free days. <BR> Lastly, I want to continue to set small weekly goals each week since I need to feel accomplished right now at something, no matter how small! <B... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 12:27:06 EST OK Bahama Mamas, so this is where I'm at. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4947831 Hey Team, <BR> Well, I have to be honest, I did not meet or even come close to my weight goals at all for this challenge, ut I have also been assaulted with health problems lately, which have literally prevented me from doing cardio or working out to my (former) full potential. <BR> <BR> So, who does this mean? I need to adjust my goals for this next round with my Bahama Mamas. I want to be a valuable contributing member and hold my own, so perhaps I will focus on what works for my body ri... Fri, 29 Jun 2012 14:22:04 EST I Would Be Rain... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4917649 <BR> If you could be something entirely different, just for a moment in time, what would you be? <BR> I would be rain.  <BR> Calming and welcoming.  <BR> Tickling the flower petals in the garden until they wiggle in reply. <BR> Starting a domino effect as tree leaves release the weight of raindrops in their grasp, from one leaf to the next. <BR> Hydrating everything in its path, until spent, and everything it touches nourished. <BR> Furry, enveloping, and delicately scented. <BR> Gentle rain... Fri, 8 Jun 2012 11:49:50 EST Bahama Mama's Challenge: Post pics of my food, or belly contents for this week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4908809 Important to note that I have to cook and prep my meals for the work week on Sundays and cannot cook much anymore, so they do seem to repeat a lot. <BR> I don't seem to mind much, and it seems to appease my mild case of OCD. : ) <BR> I've added in some magazine pages in the background where possible to add some flare, since my meals this week needed some...flare! <BR> <BR> Monday through Friday Breakfast: <BR> Egg beater pancake thing (no idea where I came up with this thing but it's yummy... Sat, 2 Jun 2012 13:38:23 EST High Roller http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4885970 I limped slightly into yesterday's nerve procedure for my left foot, but was excited for the same great results as with my right hand. No room in my mind for folding on this round. I was allll in. <BR> <BR> We checked in at 5:45 a.m. <BR> I got the local anesthetic this time at the request of the doctors (and some Sparker's suggestions). No problem. <BR> They seemed really happy with the procedure, and by 7:30 AM I was wheeled to recovery. Wahoo, right? <BR> <BR> 5 minutes afterwards, I k... Thu, 17 May 2012 15:12:41 EST It's Alive...ALIIIIIIVE! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4871272 To follow up on my last blog, I have a SUCCESS to post. <BR> My right hand hand now been functioning consistently for 9 days now. <BR> *9 Days!* <BR> I had a few good days here and there this past January, and I was happy for them. But 9 days back to back? Not since last October. <BR> <BR> I did joke a bit about feeling like the bride of Frankenstein after being told about the nerve procedure initially (via my neck). And now that it's over and the 'cocktail' of drugs have saturated things... Mon, 7 May 2012 21:13:40 EST Did you know that Vampires wear Axe cologne spray? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4858253 Well, that's what I think that scent was anyway. Every time I feel the soreness in my neck, I tell myself that I was in a mythical world recently, and a cleanly shaven, pasty-pale, rail-thin vampire was simply introducing himself to me. We all know that vampires don't shake hands, right? : ) <BR> <BR> My nerve procedure last week went pretty well, or at least I think it did. I am supposed to see some results in a week or two (I hope). I am extremely impatient, so this is a tough one for me. ... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 21:35:16 EST Bull's Eye http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4852143 I'm scheduled to get another nerve procedure tomorrow morning. I've been in complete denial about this since writing the date down two weeks ago. Why? I need to figure this out. Well, I will apparently get poked (deeply) in my neck to find a specific vein or artery (?) and inject a magical potion that will hopefully help with my chronic pain. <BR> I guess I am a bit wiggly about it. Well, I am wiggly anyway I guess, due to my health. But in the words of my Spark pal Cannie50, I am having my ... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:14:13 EST Who Knew??? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4825833 I am a lucky Spark gal. <BR> Yesterday I got to meet TWO awesome Spark Pals. <BR> <BR> I laughed! I giggled! I probably snorted.... : ) <BR> <BR> Thank You to Cannie and Mamadwarf for making my day! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/6/l269879474.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Bren Sun, 8 Apr 2012 17:00:47 EST The Attitude of My JEANS, not Genes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4815396 Over the past 6 months, I have pretty much gained back almost all of the weight that I had lot this past year. Things have been...complicated to say the least. <BR> <BR> I am now in the largest sized pair of jeans I have ever owned. It makes me mad. And here's the rub: <BR> My jeans KNOW that I hate them. They do. It's wild. <BR> My larger sized jeans gnash their copper riveted teeth at me in response to the constant stink eye that I fling in their direction. It's like my jeans have their ... Sun, 1 Apr 2012 18:07:31 EST Nitroglycerin and Toy Story band-aids, really? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4764149 I have been meaning to post an update blog, but a lot has happened. And that "a lot" has affected the use of my hands even more. My husband refers to this type of situation as a cr*p sandwich. Forgive me, but it does seem appropriate! <BR> <BR> We spent about 4 hours at the research facility clinic on Monday since my health issues were screaming bloody murder with a big nerve flare this last Thursday. <BR> I got another ECG, the usual blood pressure tests, etc. No big deal. But once they sta... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:07:29 EST Greek yogurt with cherries on top (and bottom?) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4748128 <BR> I can't really spill the secrets of this trial, other than to tell you that a small # of people across the U.S. were asked to be a part of a new drug trial for a rare neuromuscular / neurovascular disease. Only a handful of those were accepted to the trial (myself included). <BR> <BR> I packed the necessities: Protein bars for emergency meals, comfy clothes for daily tests, lipgloss, and my monkey slippers. Oh yes, that last one was the most important part. Gotta add some silly to the... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:11:11 EST He's got nice hands... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4732789 And once again I remind you to get your gray matter out of the gutter! <BR> <BR> Guess what? I pay attention to the hands of strangers. If you and I crossed paths and I could get a good solid peek, I would probably be looking a your hands too. <BR> <BR> The barista at the coffee joint (zoom zooming up my icy blended caffeinated stuff) has nice hands. I'm thinking that the black nail polish is some sort of a statement, but it doesn't distract me. <BR> <BR> The wonderful check stand gal at m... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:08:39 EST Second Floor Please... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4720884 Some people refer to their memory as a vault; capable of retaining important information for decades, ready to be neatly opened to reveal valuable information like some sort of certificate. <BR> They can remember key points of a speech someone gave in the past, or what time that ridiculous train arrives into Boston if it left the New York train station 3 hours earlier at maximum speed (ugghhhhh, somebody kill me!). <BR> <BR> I remember the odd, useless stuff. I can tell you what color of soc... Fri, 3 Feb 2012 18:23:24 EST Popcorn is my gateway drug... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4692114 Am I alone in saying that popcorn not only makes me happy, but also makes me INSANE at times? <BR> I try to reserve it for the weekend, since I tend to turn into a poppie freak, and need some ample recovery time to flood my body with water and lemon slices to leech out the sodium and what not that I assaulted it with the night prior. <BR> That would be 94% fat free detoxing baby! <BR> <BR> And if I am emotional, I get weak in the knees for those kernels, which let's face it, if you have rea... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 21:06:27 EST Things I did with my right hand today - gory pics included http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4660494 First off, get your mind outta the gutter! <BR> <BR> I saw my neurologist yesterday and proudly made a fist with my right hand. Something I have not been able to do entirely for 8 weeks. 8 WEEKS. <BR> I have had a painful nerve flare in my hand, affecting 3 fingers with no relief until recently. Perhaps the drug cocktail is working. <BR> My neurolofgists reply was more of "meh". I guess he was worried that this was only short lived. <BR> Hey, I am happy to be able to move it right NOW! <B... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 20:48:24 EST The raucous concert between my ears – no headphones needed. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4655341 <BR> I was quite naughty with food recently. Let’s just say that my body is still angry at me for the contents flowing within it… <BR> Post face stuffing, I played back the details of it all. Not only disgusted with myself, but fighting off feelings of worthlessness and guilt. Interlaced between all of that emotional goo, was a sort of soundtrack that I strangely recognized from past months (even years). <BR> <BR> I envisioned a concert hall in my mind, and I was about to give a performanc... Tue, 3 Jan 2012 21:23:45 EST Be also thankful for the medical professionals in your life this year– and let them know! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4645291 Yesterday I went back to the Pain Center at the hospital for another nerve block procedure to try to take the edge off some of this ridiculous pain. With it being the holidays, only the skeleton crew seemed to be working, and my regular doctor was on vacation. A new doctor was assigned my case, and was trying to get himself familiar with the plethora of paperwork in my file. <BR> <BR> This was the first time I had actually seen my entire file. I had only been a patient there for 6 months, ... Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:38:24 EST A New Take on 'Unplugging' From Technology http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4634538 I recently completed 7 days of a spinal cord stimulator device. I can finally exhale. <BR> As of this moment, I have decided not to have the surgery to permanently implant the device in my body. <BR> <BR> Days 1-3 were so-so. Frankly, I simply could not get past the back pain from the procedure itself to focus on the electrical pulses rhythmically buzzing and crawling up and down my legs in an effort to ease my chronic pain. <BR> I had 4 programs - my own playlist if you will. But the res... Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:45:26 EST Domo Arigato Mr(s) Roboto! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4625977 I woke up in such tremendous pain yesterday. I had to remind myself that the pain was from the Spinal cord Stimulator Surgery implant and open holes in my back. I tried to muscle through it, but kept crying, attacked with the question of, "what have I done?" <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/1/l510594060.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> I began my Spinal cord Stimulator trial week as of this past Monday. The pain from my disease had pushed me to this last option sooner than I ... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:10:54 EST How do YOU keep the holiday calorie elves away? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4616900 One of my Sparkly pals told me that she would prefer to stay home inside of her own little bubble and avoid the holiday family gatherings, since she did not want to be tempted by the treats. I asked if there was room in the bubble for me too, since I felt the same. <BR> <BR> There are many who feel that the avoidance is practically self-sabotage, and I do agree, but that does not make me want to climb out of that bubble either : ). <BR> <BR> Instead I suggest something sporty and active to... Wed, 7 Dec 2011 20:25:06 EST