JESSIHOVER1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JESSIHOVER1 JESSIHOVER1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ June-July Progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4970624 So I made it another month. My weight and measurements are all remaining the same, maybe a few centimeters here or there but for the most part the same. I have been doing really well at not weighing in daily, thanks in large to my husband hiding the scale and giving it to me only when I beg, which is becoming less and less these days. <BR> I am even learning to let myself have some indulgences every once in a while, maybe a little too often lately but I just figure I am making up for lost tim... Sat, 14 Jul 2012 23:07:14 EST Do you control the numbers or do the numbers control you?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944958 First of all, I am still here, still alive and still doing well. I am slowly but surely trying to learn to live like a "normal" person again. By that I mean I am trying to learn to stop being in weight loss mode, I never realized just how hard that would be, which sound completely silly!!! <BR> I have to admit that for the past 16 months I have been completely controlled by numbers. I have let them determine my mood, change my hunger level, push me harder and make me better. I'm not saying t... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 15:54:58 EST May-June Progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4920668 I decided at the beginning of my maintenance that I would take monthly progress pictures on the 10th, or round abouts there, of every month. Today is the 10th so here it is. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l202195724.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/7/l479214900.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/3/l538393902.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/5/l650429225.jpg"> <BR> <BR> THE GUNS <BR> <img ... Sun, 10 Jun 2012 21:12:07 EST Taking a HUGE step. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4917426 If you have been keeping up on my blogs lately you will know that I have been struggling to eat enough, I know that sounds absolutely CRAZY!! I have decided that for my health and well being that I really need to stop tracking my food. I mean I have a pretty good idea what most things I eat are anyways, so I'm sure I'll keep track in my head. But seeing the numbers on sparkpeople make me crazy. <BR> <BR> So I am going to be taking a pretty big step back from sparkpeople. I most likely won't... Fri, 8 Jun 2012 09:09:31 EST I reached 2 Fitness Goals in One Run!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4910817 I seriously had the best run of my life today. I ran not only my fastest but also my farthest that i have ever ran before. It's funny because I couldn't have even went further. I know that it is directly related to the fact that I am eating more, which is awesome!! I have gained some weight over the past few days, water weight I'm sure, but I am also getting much closer to my goal ranges. <BR> <BR> I just know now that my body not only is hungry but needs this fuel in order to perform at it... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 00:22:05 EST 365 Days. 120 Pounds. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4905806 May marked my one year of constant tracking. I have tracked all my food and activity since May 23rd 2011, and my goodness what a difference this year has made. <BR> <BR> One year ago today I weighed 254 pounds!! I had already lost 40 pounds but it was a very slow 40 pounds. Since I started consistently tracking I have lost another 120 pounds! I have gone from someone who could barely walk a mile to someone who in one day RAN over 15 miles! I have gone from a very crabby, unhappy, self loath... Thu, 31 May 2012 12:17:15 EST Realizations of an Early Maintainer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4902046 Today I came to the realization that even though I have been in maintenance for over 3 months I haven't yet switched my mindset. I have had this mental calorie wall of 1100 calories. I didn't like letting myself eat anymore than that. <BR> <BR> It's a tad on the crazy side. I mean the majority days I burn nearly that much. I have also realized that doing my daily food blog has made me self conscious about every single bite I eat. It makes me not what to eat because I don't want people to ju... Tue, 29 May 2012 00:33:14 EST It happened. Now what?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4894283 I started weighing myself consistently every Wednesday in June 2011. I have done it EVERY SINGLE WEDNESDAY since. Surprisingly I had never had a week were my weight increased, well not until today! <BR> <BR> I know I am a jerk. Who doesn't have a plateau, who doesn't have a week were they don't lose weight? <BR> <BR> I know I have been incredibly lucky and I really am not complaining but having gone about a year without any weekly weight gain and then seeing an increase is weird. I am goi... Wed, 23 May 2012 09:28:58 EST I thought I would be ok. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4889549 So the not weighing myself has not been going well. The first two days were ok. I only weighed myself in the morning, purely out of habit. Then I slipped back into weighing myself every time I see the darn scale. One downfall is that I've quit being extra crazy about sodium this week, which before I was rarely getting 1000 mg, I still haven't gotten above the recommended amount just more. So that has lead to some weight gain, at least I think that's why. I have gained a pound each day over th... Sun, 20 May 2012 10:05:01 EST THE transition. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4885752 So I am about 3 months into "maintenance", although I still am not sure what that means. I have yet to stop losing weight. I am not actively TRYING to lose weight although I have yet to change much from when I was. I still eat pretty much the same and I actually workout harder. I don't know maybe in my subconsciousness I am still trying to lose weight. I mean lets face it, it's a scary idea to gain any back. I have worked so hard to become the person I am today the last thing I want to do is ... Thu, 17 May 2012 12:39:48 EST Post Race Run!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4884485 I have taken it easy since my relay race, but it has been hard!!! I love to RUN!! It gives me the most wonderful feeling in the world and it is so hard not to have that feeling every chance I get. I know I can't run everyday, some people can but I don't like how it makes my legs feel, but I do love to run as much as possible. I am going to keep my running schedule at 2-4 times a week but no more. I seriously would run EVERYDAY if I could!! <BR> Anyways after 3 days of not running I finally d... Wed, 16 May 2012 16:41:31 EST I ran 15.63 MILES!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4879266 I woke up bright and early at 5 like I normally do. I came in and made a cup of coffee and tried to act normal. It was just a regular day I told myself, nothing to be nervous about. I did my usual checking of SparkPeople and ate my usual pre-workout protein bar, even though I wasn’t working out, a habit is a habit. <BR> <BR> For an entire hour I acted like it was a normal day. Did my normal thing, acted calm, “acted” being the operative word. I was cool as a cucumber at face value. In reali... Sun, 13 May 2012 10:23:14 EST Pre Race Jitters! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4868797 This coming Saturday, yeah 6 days away, is my very first race. <BR> <BR> If you have read any of my previous posts you would know that I started running last September. I started running for me, I never planned on running in any kind of race. Then about a month ago a friend of mine said they needed a substitution and that I would be perfect because of how often I run. Because it was free, I decided sure, I will do. <BR> <BR> Anyways I am less than a week away from the relay. I am running ... Sun, 6 May 2012 11:41:47 EST Goals, pretty sure I need to rethink my choices. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4863036 So the other day I decided it was time to make a new list of fitness goals, I had already reached all the ones I had made, the last being 50 PUSH UPS!!!! Holy cow that was hard! <BR> <BR> Here are my new goals: <BR> <BR> LONG TERM: <BR> 1. Keep my weight under 145. <BR> *Reward: $5/week for maintaining. <BR> <BR> 2. Run/Walk 1000 miles in 2012 <BR> *Reward: New shoes <BR> <BR> 3. Do one family physical activity each week. <BR> *Reward: Family time is the reward!! <BR> <BR> FITNESS GOALS... Wed, 2 May 2012 12:20:12 EST Run until your soul is satisfied!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4859638 I was just looking back at my "runs" from when I first started trying to run in September. There is this 3.1 mile loop that I like to run, when I ran it back in September it took me 42 minutes, which was AMAZING at the time. It was a 13-14 minute mile that I would run it in. Seriously for someone who was 220+ pounds that is pretty outstanding. <BR> <BR> Then I looked up the last time I ran that same loop. It took me 26 minutes!! That means in 8 short months I was able to shave off 16 minute... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:13:27 EST At some point I became a runner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4851591 I'm not sure when it happened, but it did. I became a runner. <BR> <BR> It started out as just a way to burn some calories. Running is great for that, although let's face it when I started out I certainly wasn't running. I remember the first day I "ran" I made it about 45 seconds and I could have sworn I was about to die. It's funny how far I've come since then, especially since it was only 7 1/2 months ago! <BR> <BR> Now running anything under 4 miles feels like I didn't run far enough. N... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:05:27 EST Today I feel like a ROCKSTAR! ;-) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4844457 Today I completed one of my fitness goals. It was one I was sure I would do at some point but I didn't think it would happen today! <BR> <BR> Today I ran 7.4 miles. No stopping! NO SLOWING DOWN!! I keep up a pace of 8.96 minutes/mile! HOLY COW!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I thought if I was able to do it today it would take me AT LEAST 70 minutes. I pretty much blew that right out of the water. <BR> <BR> I have a relay race I'm running in 4 weeks, I was a substitution but considering I run all the time... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 18:05:22 EST Remembering to appreciate the new me. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4837509 As I have gone through this journey and now that I am starting the journey of living a healthy lifestyle, I have often forgot just how far I've come. We always have a tendency to disregard our own accomplishments, don't we? <BR> <BR> Last night I posted my April progress picture, oh here as well as on Facebook, and a friend asked if I would put up a before and after picture. I have done these before but it had been awhile, and I had NEVER posted one on Facebook. <BR> <BR> It's funny I feel... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 11:21:53 EST So turns out I am "Training" for something. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4828717 Two weeks ago I wrote a blog about how I was running to train for life, not a race, not an event, just to live a healthier lifestyle. I still stand by that, however; I am now training for something else. A friend of mine has a relay team and one of their team mates had to drop out. So she figured since I wouldn't need to actually train considering I have been running almost everyday that I would be perfect to fill in. The one thing that sold me on it is that I don't have to pay!! I just refu... Tue, 10 Apr 2012 12:47:50 EST 7 Weeks into Maintenance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4820154 *** WARNING!!! **** <BR> Super boring blog. Mainly just a reference blog for myself. Go ahead and read if you want but remember I warned you it would be BORING!! <BR> <BR> On February 22nd I reached my final goal, or what I thought was my final goal. I reached 155, it was what I thought I wanted to stick with as a maintenance weight, turns out my body has other ideas. I have decided to make 150 my FINAL, and I mean FINAL "goal" weight. Obviously if I am under, no big deal but I don't want to... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 11:28:35 EST Today I ran like a CHAMP!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4810707 You know when I was younger, in high school, I HATED running. I played softball and on the days I knew we had endurance training I would do anything to get out of it. I just never had that love for running, unless of course I was running from the cops! LOL!! <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> So this new love that I have for running comes as a complete and total shock. It all started at the end of August 2011. I was taking my daughter to her first day of Kindergarten. I decided since we only live about ... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 12:55:59 EST Holy 150 Pounds Gone!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4809958 Well here is a goal, which was NEVER a goal, that I never even thought possible. Lets face it in the beginning I just thought I would be ecstatic if I could just be 250 pounds again. So here I am approximately 13 months since really starting this journey and I have rid my body of over 150 pounds. I don't even weight that much any more. I have officially lost more than I weigh!!! <BR> <BR> At this point I am just trying to live my life to the fullest. I am enjoying being healthy so much more... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 00:26:38 EST Are you training for something? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4807730 Do you ever get this question? <BR> <BR> I exercise and run, I guess a lot, so I get this question. People are wondering if I'm training for something. For the longest time I said "no". I mean it's not like I am planning on doing a race or marathon or anything like that. I like to run, it is good exercise and I really like to workout, it makes me feel alive. <BR> <BR> Recently I realized, actually I am training for something. I am training to live a healthier life! I am training to be ALIVE... Tue, 27 Mar 2012 17:26:13 EST Maintenance Rewards. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4800557 Last week I finally came up with an actual list of my goals for the year now that I am in my maintaining phase. I made a list on here as well as a physical list I have hanging on my wall. <BR> <BR> So anyways, my first goal is to maintain my weight at or below 155 pounds. For every week that I do so I am going to give myself $5. I decided to keep my rewards in plain view so that I can see what I am achieving. <BR> <BR> Here is what I decided to do: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkp... Thu, 22 Mar 2012 22:38:51 EST That's right, I used to weigh almost 300 pounds. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4791559 Up until recently I have been very guarded about telling people how much I weigh, and especially how much I used to weigh. I have been very open about how much I have lost, and I am sure people can draw conclusions from that, I mean there is no way that I weighed under 200 pounds and lost 145, so I am sure they knew. But the other day I admitted that I had lost 50% of my body weight, just days after saying I had lost 145 pounds. <BR> <BR> So there it is, out there in the open, I weight AT L... Sat, 17 Mar 2012 01:44:25 EST Healthy BMI! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4783621 My little candy binge last week put me in a funk all week. I had low self esteem and just felt really crappy about myself. I let it over shadow the fact that I am now at a HEALTHY BMI!! Then it was brought to my attention by a Sparkfriend, thank you LIBELULITA, that maybe because I have reached all these goals and have nothing left to strive for maybe THAT put me in my funk and led to the binge. I think she was right, reaching a healthy BMI was never even a goal that I set, I never thought it... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:54:28 EST Half the woman I used to be (almost) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4767682 It was brought to my attention the other day by a fellow sparker that I have lost almost half my body weight. I hadn't even thought about that. It is crazy that I have made it that far. <BR> <BR> I remember the first time I had gone to the doctor since my daughter was born and realizing that I had not only not lost any of the baby weight but I had gained an additional 20 pounds!! I was 7 POUNDS! away from 300!! That was a horrific thought to me. I am sure there were days when I actually was ... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 19:38:01 EST Good riddance to 140 Pounds. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4757379 I thought I was at my "goal weight" but apparently my body had a different plan. Now here I am 140 pounds less than I was at my highest known weight, although I am sure there were days that I was heavier. I'm not sure how I keep losing the weight, at this point I think it's just my body that has the plan so I will just go along with it for now! <BR> <BR> Today I bought my VERY FIRST pair of size 7 jeans, I actually tried on three different brands all size 7 thinking it was just a fluke. But... Sun, 26 Feb 2012 01:42:27 EST Reaching my 4th "goal weight". http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4729181 When I first started this journey I REFUSED to set a goal. I was scared to death that I would disappoint myself. So at first I didn't set a real goal, but in my head I just wanted to get down to 250, I mean after all that was 43 pounds. So technically 250 was my first "goal weight". <BR> <BR> When I reached 250, I thought that it was amazing and I would be happy as long as I just didn't gain any weight back. However; I did set another in my head "goal weight" of 200. I didn't think I would r... Wed, 8 Feb 2012 15:18:00 EST How I lost 130 pounds. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4721822 On Wednesday I reached my 130 pounds lost, well gone. Just like anyone else that has lost a considerable amount of weight I get the "how'd you do it?" question all the time. Most people don't like the answer but I know you guys won't mind hearing about my hard work. <BR> <BR> So here have been my keys to success, keep in mind every single body is different and all though my body has responded beautifully to my plan not every body will. <BR> <BR> *Eating Breakfast* <BR> For me this was a k... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 11:36:47 EST Just 10 more pounds. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4705400 At the beginning of the year I weighed in at 175 and gave myself until August 1st to lose 15 pounds. I have been losing weight at an average of 2.8 pounds per week but I figured I might slow down a bit and maybe even plateau, so I didn't want to set to high of a goal. I realized at the time that it was a REALLY easy goal but I don't like being disappointing so I stuck with it. So here it is less than 30 days later and I have already lost 10 of those 15 pounds. <BR> <BR> See my goal of Augus... Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:26:14 EST The Ever Illusive Compliment! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4691691 Up until recently my husband has been very minimal on complementing me on my weight loss and how I look. I know it's crazy and I feel so great about myself it doesn't seem like I should need a compliment but it still feel really nice to get compliments. So finally I asked my husband why he didn't compliment me. He response was kind of surprising and actually really sweet. He said "I feel like if I compliment you, it's like I'm saying that I didn't think you were beautiful before, and I have a... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:38:48 EST Down 120 Pounds!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4683283 Holy cow!! I hit my 120 pound weight loss this last week. I have a sixteen year old nephew that weighs 120 pounds. I have literally lost a teenager, all be it small teenager, but still a teenager. I am starting to see less of the fat girl that I used to see when I look in the mirror, every once in a while she is still there but it sure is happening a lot less now. I'm starting to feel like I look pretty darn good. <BR> <BR> I have also really been loving drinking loads of water each day, yo... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:40:17 EST Measurements vs. weight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4660159 I have noticed that a lot of people have been leaning more towards measurements than weight. It was even a feature on sparkpeople yesterday and today. I am totally a slave to the scale. It has become part of my morning routine, and pretty much every time I walk into the bathroom. I realized that it is a bit on the neurotic side, and most likely not healthy. I just have a hard time not giving into that scale. <BR> <BR> That being said I have also been keeping track of my measurements and rea... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 17:41:02 EST How'd you do it? What's your secret? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4632930 The question everyone who has lost weight will at some point hear. I have been getting this question tons lately, which of course makes me feel like I'm doing something right. But the thing that I've noticed is that people don't want the answer I'm giving them. <BR> <BR> They ask how I lost so much weight. I tell them "eating better and getting A LOT of exercise." Which is always followed up with "but what's your secret?" I know what they are looking for, it is the same thing I was looking ... Tue, 20 Dec 2011 14:56:50 EST 110 pounds gone and no longer obese!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4626999 This week I hit my 110 pound weight loss. It is so incredible, unbelievable, a little over whelming and totally humbling! I can't believe how far I have come and how much hard work and dedication that I have been able to put into this journey. Along with the 110 pound weight loss I also hit a huge milestone, I am no longer obese on the BMI scale!!!! <BR> <BR> Here are my 110 pound down pictures!! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/8/l282193316.jpg"> <BR> <img src=... Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:04:42 EST My journey losing 100 pounds!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4587330 In May of 2009 I went to the doctor for my annual and when they weighed me I was 293 pounds! I was absolutely devastated. How could I be that heavy. At the time I didn't really feel that big. It is crazy the things you can talk your mind into believing. Like "size 26 isn't that big"; "it's not weird that I get winded walking up the stairs, everyone does". You know those things that make you feel not so bad. But there it was blinking on the scale 293! There was no denying it. That is only 7 p... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:37:53 EST Under 200! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4564649 All week I have been weighing in between 198 and 200. I have been so excited to be under 200 pounds but didn't want to make it official until my weekly weigh in. Then last night I slipped up a bit and eat too much of not good things. I was so sure I would wake up and would have gained weight. I did gain a little, yesterday I weighed in at 199.2 in the morning, which is when I usually do my weigh ins. So this morning when I woke up I was scared to death of what I would see on the scale. Much t... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 09:27:18 EST 90 Pounds Gone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4553431 So I have officially hit my 90 pound weight loss!!! It is so exciting to know that I have been able to accomplish such a huge feat. <BR> <BR> It also means that I am only 3 pounds from reaching my first goal. Which I only made a few weeks ago. I am not huge on setting goals, because I am so afraid of letting myself down. I am realizing that I can do just about anything that I set my mind to, but I also know that I hate disappointing myself. I am my hardest critic and I can be ruthless to mys... Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:36:44 EST Doing things I never thought I would do again. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4549135 It is amazing how losing weight can change your whole outlook on everything. It is great to look better, I do love that part, but it is so much greater to realize that you can do anything you set your mind to. For the past 6 years I have been so lazy and thought that those things that I used to do and love I would just never do again. There are just so many things you can't do when you are wearing a fat suit. <BR> <BR> This week I took a trip back to my home town. We go there quite a bit but... Sun, 23 Oct 2011 12:07:11 EST In love with my new body! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4540264 I am so in love with my new body. I know it's still not perfect, and in most people's eyes I am still fat. But I think I look pretty good. <BR> <BR> Yes I still look in the mirror and see those imperfections, like my kangaroo pouch, my cellulite, my stretch marks and the still jiggly parts of my body. <BR> <BR> But I also see me ever slimming waist, my much smaller thighs, my muscular legs, my less jiggly arms that now have definition, my fingers that are no longer little sausag... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:43:10 EST A little change goes a long way. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4535720 A while back I started dying my hair blond. It was an attempt to feel more sexy, because all blonds are sexier, right?? It did make me feel great and it looked pretty good: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l19421854.jpg"> <BR> <BR> But I wanted a change. I naturally have brown hair but it has been quite a long time since I last had brownish hair. Here was the last time I had brown hair, it was in February of this year: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.spark... Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:39:10 EST 80 Pounds gone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4511445 I can't believe that I am even typing that. It doesn't seem like it is possible to even lose that much weight. That is just crazy. That is twice as much as my daughter weighs. I lost that. I have a hard time picking her up, I can't believe that I walked around weighing 80 pounds more than I do today. How could I even do that?? I love that I can say that I am proud of myself. I have put in so much hard work and I have become so dedicated. It is so much more than I ever imagined I could do. I r... Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:04:04 EST Things I couldn't do a year ago http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4489130 * Run up and down the stair without getting winded <BR> * Walk more than a mile <BR> * Feel proud of myself <BR> * Look in the mirror without being disgusted <BR> * Feel accomplished <BR> <BR> Here are a list of some of the thing I have accomplished since losing weight: <BR> <BR> *Jog four miles in less than an hour <BR> * Fit into clothes at the store, and I mean a real store not a plus size store <BR> * Look in the mirror and feel really good about what I see, at least with clothes on. I'... Sat, 17 Sep 2011 01:17:09 EST I feel, and look, like a whole different person. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4485721 Today at my weigh in I was 219!! I don't remember the last time I weighed under 220, I am sure it was at least 7 years ago probably even more. I just can't believe how much different I look and feel. I kind of feel like for the past 5 years I was just in holding. I am a stay at home mom and I feel like my life was just on hold inside my house. I rarely ever left and I just lounged around in my pj's, I'm not sure why my husband stuck it out through this. I was a total bear, ok BITCH!! I was mi... Thu, 15 Sep 2011 00:21:13 EST 70 pounds gone!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4459305 I am less than 1 pound away from a 70 pound weight loss total. It is such a great feeling, it is finally starting to feel real. I still have a really hard time making me mind realize that I am 70 pounds lighter but I think that in time I will be able to look at myself in the mirror and see what I see in pictures. I still look in the mirror and see that nearly 300 pound body. I am starting to deal with the weight fluctuations and I am trying to talk myself into not weighing myself everyday, so... Wed, 31 Aug 2011 20:26:50 EST My love hate relationship with the scale. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4428756 I am totally in a love/hate well more like I love it, if it loves me and I HATE IT!! when it hates me. I feel like I base way to much of my success on the scale. It just feels great when you see the results right there in front of you in big black numbers. But then there are those days, like today, where I GAINED!!! It has been a long time since I have had a gain and in fact I have only gained three times in the past 4 months. I know it is unrealistic to think that I will have no more gains, ... Mon, 15 Aug 2011 16:56:00 EST