JENNSWIMS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JENNSWIMS JENNSWIMS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Avoidant Behavior Is My Friend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5342593 Thank you, Spark, for providing me with a place where I can spend lots of time not doing my homework and still convince myself that I'm doing something "good" for myself :) <BR> <BR> I have a paper due on Monday at midnight-- a paper that is a giant waste of my time that I would rather gnaw my own arm off than work on right now--so of course I am here, blogging. <BR> <BR> Things are going well. My body is starting to shed some pounds, I'm starting to feel the difference in a few pieces of ... Wed, 1 May 2013 22:45:56 EST It Isn't Starting Over, My Body Remembers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5337690 I think it is a fair assessment that in many ways things got pretty crappy for me in 2012, both in terms of weight loss (gain!!!) and the rest of my life. <BR> <BR> Things are so much better today, better in so many ways, except for the stinkin' meanie-head scale and my size "fat" pants. I lost a lot of ground there, but in other ways I am so much better than I was 6-8 months ago. I have my head on straight FINALLY, I even left a job that was killing me, a job that had become such a part ... Sat, 27 Apr 2013 21:13:43 EST My Butt Hurts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5336334 Yup. I said it, my butt hurts. A lot. Ouchy. I'm not overly pleased with my butt right now. Spin to yoga sounded like a lovely idea. I get cardio for half an hour with some serious biking and sweating, then I get my reward--some stretching, some relaxing, some more sweating and some lying on the floor trying to clear my mind. <BR> <BR> The clearing my mind part never works. I usually end up thinking about how my car needs to be attacked by a rabid vacuum or wondering if others can hear m... Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:00:22 EST Back On The Wagon... Err Kayak, Whatever http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4993435 So I haven't blogged for oh, about 6 months. This is not a good thing. Why? I'm now carrying more adipose tissue than I was in January. Poop. I weighed myself today and I honestly think Captain Meaniehead is lying to me, or at least I'm experiencing a temporary whale-like bloating that will resolve as the evil mother nature takes a flying leap. <BR> <BR> So where have I been, what have I been up to, other than consuming more calories than I have burned off? Well, to summarize, grad sch... Mon, 30 Jul 2012 16:08:56 EST Things I Learned Today Other Than Eat Breakfast http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4679009 Triathlon. <BR> <BR> Now that's a big scary kind of thing, isn't it? Brings to mind charley horses and barfing and the footage of those freakazoid (read: awesome) Ironman people wetting themselves and crawling across the finish line before collapsing into the arms of their loved ones (who are decidedly too calm as they catch their loved one IMHO). <BR> <BR> Well, not so much. I mean, it isn't easy, and I couldn't have done it this time last year, but I didn't puke. I didn't even ponder... Fri, 13 Jan 2012 19:40:42 EST Motivation, Tomorrow's Triathlon & Shirts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4675886 It is bad enough that I am doing a sprint triathlon at the gym tomorrow and harassing others to join me, but I had signed up for a yoga class with a friend prior to that proclamation, so now she insists I hurry up and finish so we can make it to our 11:30 yoga class. Insult, meet injury. <BR> <BR> For those who are wondering, join us, do 1, 2 or 3 legs of the sprint tri, at home or at the gym or upsidedown on the moon. <BR> <BR> You can chose from: <BR> 750 meters in the pool <BR> 20 ki... Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:01:41 EST I've Lost My Mind... Care To Join Me? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4671603 So it's been 10 days of on-plan eating with regular exercise and I'm starting to feel great again, aside from the copious farting. It's time to ramp up my exercise, quit making excuses and being afraid of stupid things. I need to kick things into gear and catch up on my mileage for the 2012 team. <BR> <BR> I'm starting to get that old Jenn feeling back. I'm remembering how it felt to be hardcore, to accept no less than 6+ hours of cardio a week, doing kickboxing, swimming, eating super cl... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:47:32 EST Goals, Poo, Starbucks, TMI, Crazy Contortions & The Resolution You & Yours Need to Make http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4657631 So December was horrific. Sucktacular. Truly awful. Poopy. How awful you ask? Well, the suckage included 3 trips--2 alone-- from Ohio to Iowa and back which equates to over 4,000 miles driven and over 66 hours driving in 14 days. I'm up 12 pounds for those 14 days. Christmas was... well, it wasn't. I sat at home alone and opened Christmas cards. I've never appreciated Christmas cards as much as I did this year. I may actually send some next year. <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, that was ... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 18:02:08 EST Do I Deserve It? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4624526 There is this thing we do where we tell ourselves we deserve something. <BR> <BR> I've worked hard, I deserve a new car. <BR> I've finally graduated, I deserve a nicer apartment. <BR> I'm cute, I deserve the $17 lipstick from MAC. <BR> I'm the best great dane mommy ever, I deserve a third great dane. Nevermind, scratch that last one. <BR> <BR> When I'm at the mall shopping with my husband and I admire some fabtastic, gourmet swanky thing, like an obscenely expensive purse, or a light fixt... Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:49:14 EST There are 39 Days Left In the Year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4595363 Yup. 39 days until there is no more 2011. <BR> <BR> That's not quite 6 weeks. <BR> <BR> There is a lot of potential left in 2011. LOTS. Heaps. Loads. <BR> <BR> That's two food snarfing holidays (maybe more, if you have a birthday coming up). For me, that means the green bean casserole will be whispering dirty words in my ear, "jennnnnnnn, we have fried onions.... jennnnnnnnn creamy goodness..." and the mashed potatoes will be whispering things that could rival phone sex, "mmmmmm... Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:56:40 EST Goals Goals Goals... It's Time For Goals! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4591860 When I had a goal of walking a quarter marathon, I walked. <BR> When I had a goal of swimming from Alcatraz to the mainland (until it sold out and I missed out) I swam. <BR> When I was headed toward my 20 year class reunion and hating the idea that I was soooo heavy, I lost weight. <BR> <BR> It's strange. I set a goal, I work toward the goal and *gasp* I accomplish things. It's just astonishing. *eye roll* <BR> <BR> It's time to reboot my reboot, which was totally hosed by my work gettin... Sat, 19 Nov 2011 22:51:16 EST My Day 4/7. Mostly not weight loss related. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4570242 Woke Up at 0730 on sleep in day. Boo! But feeling perky all the same. <BR> <BR> Perkily decided $110 was too much to spend on having my hair colored. Colored hair myself. <BR> <BR> Went to hot yoga. Sad that tomorrow's advanced class is cancelled, happy to be at hot yoga. <BR> <BR> Had horrific foot cramps (this has happened before) the first 25 minutes of class. <BR> <BR> Realization: Not hydrating well enough means foot cramps. May also need calcium supplement to make cramps stop.... Sat, 5 Nov 2011 21:37:47 EST Today's Successes and One Depressing Realization 3/7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4568904 Almost forgot to blog today, after I said I would (try) for 7 days straight. So my first success is remembering to blog. <BR> <BR> I acquired a gel seat for bike riding. My butt made me do it. I figure it can't hurt, and since eleventy billion Sparkers said it was a good idea, the $10 seemed like a small price to pay for butt relief. I violated my personal code of ethics by buying the dang thing in a store that I have sworn to not shop in, so this should tell you how much my hindquar... Fri, 4 Nov 2011 21:31:19 EST The Immutable Laws of Fat: Facts of Weight Loss. 2/7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4567092 So today I shared a true fact of weight loss with a friend, and she looked at me like I was a weight loss messiah, a SuperJenn, a veritable Jenn Craig with a different last name, so I wanted to share the factoid with you. <BR> <BR> Here we go, it's a goodie, so hold on, here it comes... <BR> <BR> **When buying Halloween candy for distribution to oddly dressed minors, buy candy you don't like. That way, if there is some left over, there is no temptation. <BR> <BR> See, I'm a bleeping gen... Thu, 3 Nov 2011 17:42:35 EST My Butt Hurts & Other Good Things. 1/7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4564519 My butt is extremely displeased with me right now. Last night, in yoga, the instructor said "find your sit bones and root down into them." I think I heard a chortle from my sit bones when she said that. Or was it a scream? In reality, it was probably my butt saying @#$% you, since I presume my butt has the same potty mouth (pardon the pun) that I do. <BR> <BR> My butt HURTS. Spinning, which I really like, is turning my butt into a source of pain and anguish. To be clear, my butt has nev... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 08:14:44 EST What's The Freaking Problem? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4563800 Burn more calories than you eat. Eat less calories than you burn. Calories In - Calories Out = Weight Loss/Weight Gain. There are lots of ways to say it, one way to do it. Eat less than your body requires. Period. The End. <BR> <BR> So simple a caveman could do it, right? So what's the freaking problem? It's simple math! I mean really, could it be any more straightforward? Eat less, weigh less. Exercise to weigh less faster. <BR> <BR> So why is weight loss so damn hard? How can ... Tue, 1 Nov 2011 19:16:11 EST Confession Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4527202 I haven't lost a pound in six weeks. Or more accurately, I have lost 4 pounds, but it was because I bounced from 265 to 269 and down again. <BR> <BR> I love yoga. I love the way I feel when I do yoga. I would do it every single day if I could make the time. Unfortunately, the scale isn't moving when I don't do straight forward cardio. So if I'm going to do a ton of yoga it is going to have to be in addition to the cardio. <BR> <BR> So I need to decide what I want to do for cardio. It m... Sun, 9 Oct 2011 18:54:01 EST Body Hate & Pfive Things I Like About My Container--With Photos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4510881 It's really easy to hate on your body, but that's not good for your mind or your body. I am as guilty as the next person. I could write 100,000 words on all the ways I hate my body, or more accurately, what I have done to my body. My body is pretty great, what I do to it is frequently not so great. <BR> <BR> Seriously, imagine having a dog you hate. Every fiber of your being loathes this dog. Seeing Sparky makes you angry. Hearing Fido come around the corner makes you bristle. You resen... Thu, 29 Sep 2011 18:55:10 EST Things I Have Learned This Year With Photos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4500651 If a blog could have a soundtrack, this one would be read to Right Said Fred's song I'm Too Sexy. <BR> <BR> A small sampling of the things I've learned in 2011: <BR> <BR> 1. I can make salsa, using tomatoes from my own garden. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/6/l763539339.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 2. If you don't cook it, it is Pico de gallo, not salsa. (Thanks for the reminder, sis) <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/1/l814542015.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 3. Using ... Fri, 23 Sep 2011 18:53:27 EST Treating Me Like a Friend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4495416 Losing tonnage isn't just about taking off pounds. It's nice to shed fat rolls and look all major hotness in a swimsuit, I get that, but I would say it's a little bit about the pounds and a whole lot of working on what's between your ears. Teaching yourself new eating habits that do not include entire bags of potato chips, french fries or anything that starts with "fried". Teaching yourself to value exercise, even when it makes you stinky and moist and you'd rather sniff a stranger's gym... Tue, 20 Sep 2011 18:59:54 EST Take Your Motivation Where You Can Get It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4485303 This is my nephew, Eli. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/8/l28004386.jpg"> <BR> <BR> He was born Monday. I refer to him as "The Cute Factory" for obvious reasons. 8 months ago his mother was afraid to give me her good news, fearing that it would hurt my feelings, since I have been a miserable failure at acquiring a fetus and all. <BR> <BR> I had been crying happy tears, but when my own sister was afraid to tell me she was pregnant with her first child, I cried a diff... Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:12:30 EST I've Lost My Mind and You're Invited... It's Pfun! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4483097 I created a spark team today and I'm totally jazzed about it. Giddy and recharged and feeling full of weight loss energy. Seriously, I am. I'm so stoked that I'm not even mad at myself for only having 450 calories left for the day at 2:30 in the afternoon. <BR> <BR> What is it? <BR> <BR> A 20 week challenge to lose weight (if you need to), be kind to yourself, get pfitter and have fun. <BR> <BR> Why have you lost your mind? <BR> <BR> Starting a team when I'm in grad school, have two j... Tue, 13 Sep 2011 16:56:35 EST Dear Macy's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4479510 Dear Macy's, <BR> <BR> I'd like to personally thank you for having a "women's department." Please note that I'm using this term very loosely. You see, your "women's department" is depressing and makes me feel like the old fat Jenn I used to be. In fact, I think I felt better about myself when I weighed 311 pounds than how I felt in your store today. <BR> <BR> Your "women's department" makes me feel that the world believes that I'm too disgusting to deserve attractive clothing. I know,... Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:11:59 EST It's All About The Sweat... and Yoga... and 1/4 Marathons... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4475969 So I bought an outrageously expensive ($65) yoga mat because I was afraid I was going to injure myself doing yoga. Imagine a oiled up fat girl trying to do yoga on a Slip N Slide, and that's what it was like. How was I supposed to balance on one foot when I thought I was going to land on my oversized bootay? <BR> <BR> I guess you could say I'm a copious sweater, not to be confused with an XXXL sweater, which is a different thing entirely. When I'm well hydrated and I start running on a tr... Fri, 9 Sep 2011 17:33:44 EST For Just a Minute, I Felt Like Wonder Woman http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4455545 It's true. For a minute there, I felt like Wonder Woman. I didn't feel like that weird, badly dressed new Wonder Woman that lasted for like 2 episodes, I felt like the grande dame of all Wonder Women, Lynda Carter. The one with the swanky gold lasso and, unfortunately, the lame little sister when the ratings started to tank. <BR> <BR> Why did I feel like Wonder Woman when I've been pretty vocal about feeling like regurgitated cat food? Because I'm faking it. Big Time. Fake fake fake fake... Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:35:31 EST Depression, TMI, Feeling Like a Failure, Keeping Moving and Music Therapy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4448817 So I'm struggling. <BR> <BR> My new fancy yoga mat, my lemony gifts to myself and all the wishing in the world can't change that. <BR> <BR> Random FYI: I will probably be talking to the girl at the gym I wrote about last week. I will do it on my terms, when it seems natural and appropriate, and not a moment sooner. I think she deserves to know that she inspires me. I think she deserves to be told this information in a way that does not hurt her feelings or make her feel weird. I'm n... Thu, 25 Aug 2011 23:38:35 EST Self-Care, Pics, Presents, Hair, Crap Day and Rambling. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4437594 I have a tendency to let my hair and caterpillars (eyebrows) go. The man hair on the chin bugs the crap out of me, so I stay right on top of that, and the legs too, since I'm in the pool a lot. But the hair, well, the hair totally gets hosed in the grand scheme of things. Part of it is ectoplasmic residue from the days of FatJenn. <BR> <BR> It always felt like trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, so why waste the money? I'd get a trim every six months whether I needed it or ... Fri, 19 Aug 2011 22:51:56 EST There Is a Big Fat Chick at the Gym http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4430914 There is a woman at the gym that most people probably notice, but not for good reasons. No, she isn't the supermodel that I wrote about a few months ago, the one who was so gorgeous that it was hard not to stare. In fact, aside from being tall, she doesn't have any supermodel attributes. She's a very big girl. <BR> <BR> She's taller than me, probably close to 6 feet tall vs my 5'9". <BR> <BR> She's heavier than me. She's probably got me beat by 100 pounds, and I'm not petite at 265.4 pou... Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:35:24 EST How I Royally Screwed Up My Workout http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4429255 I had a plan. All of my horror stories start that way, with a plan. What's that saying about men plan and God laughs? Like that, that's how my plans go. Badly. Yet still I persist in the planning. Silly Jenn. <BR> <BR> Today I had a plan. I was going to do my C25K, then I was going to do strength training class, and then I was going to swim so I wouldn't be sore tomorrow. <BR> <BR> I arrive at the gym. Oops, forgot swim suit. Never fear, I can still C25K right? Nope, because I cut ... Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:02:11 EST The Gross, The Tasty and Training http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4426457 Dear Self, <BR> <BR> After having only a tiny smattering of dairy for the last 17 weeks your body has changed. Having a steamed milk with vanilla syrup last night, no matter how low in fat, was a very bad idea. <BR> <BR> You have a textbook case of lactose intolerance. The nausea, gas, and other symptoms not to be mentioned in polite company are the proof. Please do not have another glass of milk unless you enjoy saying things like, "Is it wrong to pray to barf?" and "milk is the dev... Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:27:44 EST Advice: Ignoring It and Refraining From Dishing It Out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4421236 I have a big mouth, but, luckily, I can, on rare occasions, keep my mouth shut and just have an internal monologue that can only be heard by me. Cheffrey would probably say otherwise, but I really can stifle my urge to say things that should remain unspoken. <BR> <BR> For example, when I see people slumped over the control panel of the stair-stepping hamster machine, clinging to it for dear life, I am capable of NOT walking over to them, telling them they are totally screwing it up. I jus... Thu, 11 Aug 2011 16:11:01 EST Working On It. Really. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4419808 So my normal weight loss goes like this (TMI, Danger, TMI!) I gain a few pounds of water, have my period, torture my husband with my grumpy personality, lose a few pounds over and above the PMS water gain. Then I don't lose anything and get all wound up. Then I ovulate, torture my husband by being cranky, then I lose a few pounds, repeat. I lose weight twice a month for all intents and purposes. I figure this weight loss is timed to function as my reward for being female and having to de... Wed, 10 Aug 2011 22:50:19 EST Random Thoughts--I'm Under the Influence of Caffeine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4411045 Since I've pretty much given up caffeine in its entirety, I really know it when I've had some. I indulged today. Ice tea. Giant. With Lemon. I'm like a cracked out lemming when I indulge. Or whatever small rodenty-type creature is full of energy, bounces off the walls and is spazzy. I think that makes me a hedgehog, now that I think about it. My thoughts are spazzy, too. Oh look, shiny things! <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l12415389.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I read so... Sat, 6 Aug 2011 17:29:34 EST In a Word, I Feel... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4396164 Confident. <BR> <BR> I'm signing up for a quarter marathon on September 4th and I've been concerned that I won't be able to finish it in the allotted 2 hours. Today I did 5 miles in 78 minutes or 5.2 miles in 85 minutes if you count the cool down. <BR> <BR> So I feel confident that I could do the quarter (6.55 miles) in 2 hours today if I needed to. i will only be quicker in a month. <BR> <BR> I think this puts me on track for the half in December, too, if I keep at it. <BR> <BR> I al... Sat, 30 Jul 2011 16:17:55 EST Couch Potato Time or Just Time For Reflection? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4393007 For the first time since joining Spark, I am not going to the gym because I don't feel like it. I would rather not, so I'm not. I got my gym clothes on, started to head to the gym, and just wasn't feeling it. So I went to the grocery store, got some dinner stuff, and drove back home. I could give you 50 reasons why I should have gone, and I could tell you 51 reasons why I didn't feel like it. <BR> <BR> Yes, I'm the one who says treat exercise like it is your job. I also said the treadm... Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:25:59 EST I'm Nosy. Columbus, Ohio. What About You? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4389809 I'm insanely curious about most everything. When I was little, my Mom would have to warn babysitters, "if she asks you a question, you have to give her a GOOD answer. If you say 'because' or god help you 'because I said so' she will harass you until you give her an acceptable answer." Babysitters who didn't listen deserved what they got, if you ask me. :) <BR> <BR> 30+ years later, nothing has changed. I'm still a child in most respects and I'm still filled with an unnatural level of cur... Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:04:50 EST I Have 9 Calories Left For the Day... AKA Important Victories http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4388456 My counter says I have 9 calories left. I skipped my workout. I ate more than usual. I worked out less than usual. I am a rock star of getting healthy. <BR> <BR> I got a phone call no one ever wants to get today. <BR> <BR> The hubby, who I harassed into going to the doctor, called from the doctor's office. Cheffrey was being sent to the ER because he was sensitive to light, his neck hurt, his head was pounding and his pupils were "fixed". He would not be permitted to drive himself, h... Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:10:15 EST I Survived... Thanks to Rocky? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4385974 Today I decided that repeating week 3 of C25K for a third time would just be me wimping out because I'm afraid to run for 5 straight minutes. I no longer wheeze on the last minute of the 3 minute runs that week 3 prescribes, and I just couldn't justify avoiding week 4 again. <BR> <BR> I believe that is it normal for a 270 pound fat chick to be afraid to run for five minutes, but it isn't like I can't just stop, right? I'm not going to knock the planet of its axis if I stop, right? <BR> <... Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:02:23 EST Randomness, How To End a Pity Party, Big Girl Panties, Lists & Lots of Pics http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4381315 So after my pity party of earlier this week, I laundered and donned my big girl panties after locating them hiding under the guest bed. <BR> <BR> Then I did lots of things my SparkPeeps suggested including: <BR> <BR> I quit feeling sorry for myself, realized that I always feel depressed after eating crap food, then uh, quit eating crap food. I know, it's like rocket surgery or brain science or something. <BR> <BR> I also made a list of all the sh, err, stuff I need to do and did some ... Sat, 23 Jul 2011 15:45:17 EST Feeling Like a Failure... Warning: I am Feeling Sorry For Myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4370261 My sister and mom were in town this weekend, which is always awesome. I love having them here, I love spending time with them and I just plain love them. I miss them tremendously even though we talk all the time. So that was super awesome. It doesn't hurt that my mom started eating on the Eat to Live plan that I use a few months before me, so she is usually a pretty good influence on me for eating well. <BR> <BR> BUT, when they are in town they like to eat at all of their favorite restau... Mon, 18 Jul 2011 13:10:51 EST I Took Some Really Gross Pics For a Great Cause... Wanna See? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4363009 I took some pics today. I hate them, but they aren't for me, well, they aren't for me right now. They are for future me. <BR> <BR> You see, future me, the one who does triathlons, who has completed the Vegas Rock n Roll Half (December 4, be there or be square) and runs 5Ks without stopping, is going to LOVE these pics. She will be all look at me, busting these pics out as street cred when she tries to educate patients to get off their hineys and get moving. <BR> <BR> She will say, hey... Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:57:00 EST Avoiding Perks? Avoiding Fun? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4360106 So my workplace has a lovely traditional of employee appreciation: the catered breakfast. On this day, once a year, a caterer comes in and provides orange juice and home fries and muffins and croissants and fruit salad, and of course, an omelet station. <BR> <BR> It's yummy and fun and people gorge themselves on food. <BR> <BR> I've been behaving myself, not a speck of dairy, meat or egg since the 4th of July when I had a brat. I've been cooking for myself instead of doing the restaura... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:39:11 EST The First Time This Has Happened... Ever. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4353296 I was really busy at work earlier this week, and I was at a HUGE facility where it felt like it would be a hike of miles to the cafeteria, and just a giant pain in the patooty to get some food. Not to mention the fact that cafeteria food is suspect at best and I kept getting distracted by the demands of work and it just seemed easier to skip it. <BR> <BR> Yes, that is correct. I have violated the unwritten fat girl code. I thought it was easier to go without food. Freakish, isn't it? War... Sun, 10 Jul 2011 15:18:29 EST 5K Down, The Rest of My Life To Go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4351597 So the 5K, the first one I ever went to intending to do some running, is complete. <BR> <BR> I learned a few things. <BR> <BR> 1) It is good to have Cheffrey walk with the person who really doesn't want to be doing the 5k and intends to do the race at a stroll, because he doesn't do these things for a time, he genuinely does it with a happy heart to help the cause. His wife, on the other hand, is all about faster, better, more and when necessary, get out of my way. I would have been on ... Sat, 9 Jul 2011 16:12:06 EST Tomorrow Is My 5K... Today I Am Faking Enthusiasm!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4350099 Tomorrow is my 5K, that means I don't have to work out today, right? <BR> <BR> Not so much. <BR> <BR> Maybe if I was a professional athlete I could make today a light day, but uh, I'm not one of those. What I am is feeling a lack of motivation, so I did what anyone who was truly invested in being better tomorrow than today would do... I texted a friend and made a gym date. It will be followed by food, at a place where I can have a healthful and calorie restricted meal. <BR> <BR> This... Fri, 8 Jul 2011 19:09:59 EST The Definition Of Insanity Is... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4348262 Have you heard this line about insanity: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? I really try not to behave as though I'm insane, but I kept beating my big fat noggin against the same wall, ad nauseum, for about 15 years. So maybe I'm slightly insane. Or 49% whack job. Maybe even something approaching nutty like squirrel poop? <BR> <BR> I tried "diets" over and over. I paid big bucks to Jenny, and then gained weight. I paid mor... Thu, 7 Jul 2011 22:17:56 EST I Feel Like a Slacker... and What I'm Going to Do About It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4340880 I've treated this holiday weekend like a, well, a holiday. Fancy that. <BR> <BR> I've eaten Doritos, made yesterday AND today "days of rest from exercise" when just yesterday would have been more than adequate, and I took a nap. Ok, dang it, yes, I ate Doritos TWICE, not just once, TWICE, and I am trying not to think about it, because food shame is so incredibly unhealthy--just like the orange triangles of doom that like to hurl themselves to their death by flinging themselves into my mout... Mon, 4 Jul 2011 16:42:17 EST I Blame You For This. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4337144 I'm taking my bike in for servicing today, since it has sat unused for oh, almost a decade. Fab bike, used minimally for one season, then never touched again. I'm getting it tuned up so I can start cross training with running, biking and swimming. Sounds suspiciously like a tri, doesn't it? I blame you, CANNIE50, for this abomination. I'm not sure why you mentioned it, and by "it" I mean tris, but you did, and the end result has put in motion some serious blamestorming today. <BR> <BR> I... Sat, 2 Jul 2011 11:52:33 EST Time For Some Serious Body Love! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4335309 So many times I look in the mirror and I'm critical. Well, that wasn't exactly honest. Almost every time I look in the mirror I am critical of my appearance. I can't remember the last time I looked and mentally said something nice to myself. <BR> <BR> It's usually something along these lines: Oh, look at that giant pannus of horror flopping over! Look at how my boobs bump into my kneecaps when I walk! Look at that cellulite! Look at that fat! Look at those toenails in dire need of a paint... Fri, 1 Jul 2011 12:38:06 EST Scale Obsession Much? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4333306 After much ruminating on why in the heck I'm so obsessed with what the scale says I finally came up with an answer. What? Get work done at work? Hah! I'm busy thinking of blog fodder, don't bother me with this work stuff! <BR> <BR> It isn't so much that I can't appreciate the other indicators of progress, because I AM wicked-happy-jazzed about my three pairs of pants (the others are too big, except one old pair that is too small) getting bigger and bigger. It isn't that I cannot see that my... Thu, 30 Jun 2011 15:44:19 EST