JENNKFIT's SparkPeople Blog JENNKFIT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Waking Up Stressed One of the terrible feelings I need to learn to fix when it happens. This week I've been waking up angry, irritable, mean feeling, stressed, anxious, hateful, spiteful. All of the negative emotions swirling around for no good reason. It's like they build up overnight when I lay down and come pouring out when I stand up. I honestly cannot stand it. It's taking too long for me to switch from the 'let it flow it's okay' mindset where you think you're right and want to make angry posting fro... Thu, 23 Apr 2015 06:10:28 EST Finally a Bike Ride It was a short one, only 10 miles. But it was a good one and it was a bike ride. I did it in just under an hour. Moving my heavy mountain bike is a lot more work than a road bike and I love it. Tomorrow the weather should be good again so I want to up it to 12 miles. Ten weeks until summer vacation and I want to be in shape for big hiking trips. I want to reserve a space to sleep up in the Adirondacks in July to hike Mt. Marcy, there's a 15 mile loop hike I can do if I'm in shape. I'l... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 22:10:43 EST Probably Staying Put Yes it's almost 2am and I'm up writing. I slept on the couch a bit and then when I went into bed I'm having trouble sleeping now. Funny thing I'm not anxious or worried about anything, I'm just awake. No stomach pains from my hernia or anxiety. I've had a good week and things are fine. The new car is amazing, my old car is officially off the road with the plates turned in and the insurance cancelled. My old car will hopefully be sold for something and I'm happy with my future tax refund... Fri, 17 Apr 2015 02:04:24 EST Thoughts of Nice Weather and Moving Out It really isn't just the company, it's the location too. Just about every year now in the Spring I've been moving into the studio in my parents house that has its own separate entrance in the back of the house. Being able to leave that door open, sit outside with a view of a beautiful yard. <img src=""> <BR> It's a really nice thing to have when the weather gets nice after being stuck up here on the 4th floor in the freezing cold winter.... Mon, 2 Mar 2015 13:56:16 EST Last Day of Break and Blog Readers So I have this adventure blog where I write about my dive trips, hiking and some product reviews. Weird thing is that it's being read, not by many, but it's been seen. <link><BR>iving-grocery-store-adventure-for.html </link> I welcome anyone and everyone to check it out for some inspiration and I welcome comments and feedback. It's not much, but it's my little blog. I was tempted to go outside today, but it's not nearly as nice as it looks from the ... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 12:50:06 EST Good Weather Pledge This is just nuts, it's not safe and it's not fun and it's a brutal Winter right now. The regular temperature when I woke up was minus 2 and that was without the wind chill. It's already poised to snow on the first day of March next week and my head is about to explode yearning for the nicer weather. I have no desire to outfit myself to walk outdoors in this weather. I don't like it. What I will do is make a pledge to myself. I pledge that when the weather gets nicer I will not skip any... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 11:09:24 EST Consolidate and Conquer Back in 2012 I put myself on a financial plan to pay off some debt, slowly but surely it's been working and I've whittled away at quite a bit of it following this plan. A lot of it I'm okay with, I took a lot of trips to Mexico and had a lot of car repairs over the years. There are a bunch of graduate credits in that pile too so overall it's been eyes wide open debt and now it's time to get rid of it all. Since I'm obsessed with paying things on time (I am 100% paperless and I have everyth... Thu, 19 Feb 2015 09:45:09 EST After Work Plan...Let's see. Okay so the weather isn't going to improve any time soon and I'm not moving my work outs outdoors until the temperature is above my age. It's 24 right now, which is a lot warmer than it has been, which is saying something. This is just nuts. I know it's February but eek. Hard to believe we have just over an hour and half more day light since the Solstice passed. This is what I should do when I get back to work next week. I need to pack my gym bag and an extra half sandwich for after wor... Wed, 18 Feb 2015 10:59:33 EST Must Blog More Again I bet some of you are wondering where the heck I went. I used to blog so much and keep everyone entertained with the boring details of my life and my exciting journey on this weight loss yo yo. I think I started a few, and then I deleted all of them. I reset my weight goal to reflect the fluff I put on during this Winter. I hate January and February with words I cannot type here. The single digit temperatures, wind and snow lately are just not on my menu of things that make me happy. It... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 14:23:17 EST My SPAT is Gone! This time it could be for real. I checked my bras, I checked my shoes, I checked all of my pockets of the clothing I wore since the last sync. After barely longer than 14 months, I think my tracker might be really lost this time. It's in none of the places I normally put it. The price came down a lot and there is free 2 day shipping as usual on Amazon, so I'll have a new on by Wednesday. I'm sad, but not too sad. This won't interfere with my January trophy either, I'll be able to get th... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 10:19:13 EST Lonely and Scared again for the Holidays Okay, I'll admit it. This time of year is hard when you've been single for a long time. While people turn toward spouses and children this season single people turn to an empty apartment and stay positive. Don't get me wrong, my life is pretty okay right now, but it does get lonely on these cold, short days. At my age, all of my friends have families by now, it would be easier if I was 24 and just starting out. This is the land of 2nd babies and photos of all the entertaining people are ... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 10:26:35 EST Great New Sneakers Finally bought some and I'm keeping track of the mileage this time. My friend gets a new pair around 500 miles depending on how they feel so I'll keep that in mind with these. <BR> Asics Gel-Excite 2 with a sku: 036458671 and here's a photo of them. They were on sale at Sports Authority for $59.99 right now. Most of their sneakers are on sale right now. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Put just over 3 miles on them today and they're ... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 09:59:42 EST Resetting Some Goals With the Holiday Season staring me right in the face I decided to reset my weight goal to focus on the next chunk of weight I need to lose to reach my goal. I am around 162 now and want to hit 150 still. This is a bit different than when I was up at 185 so I decided to start a new segment today. It's another year of #fit2feast, I'm glad Spark is doing it this year too. I want to burn 10,000 calories this month and work off my Thanksgiving dinner twice. It doesn't matter if all I do is hi... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 07:39:33 EST Right Around Now Okay here we go. I'm still feeling miserable for being turned down (so much unwanted attention and the one I want hates me so I'm feeling extra spurned still, pathetic I know, hoping it goes away soon), I've been sick all weekend and my friend went apple picking without me and it's been grey and gloomy. This is right around that time where I start feeling sad and lonely and sorry for myself. Backpedal a few years and here I am being called depressed or bipolar and given Xanax, and Prozac. ... Tue, 14 Oct 2014 09:47:29 EST Saved from a Breakfast Disaster So this morning I'm feeling pretty hungry and I decide to wander down to Dunkin Donuts for a sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant. As I was headed down the hill I noticed how gorgeous the day is and how it would be the perfect Sunday to get back on track with a daily Autumn walk. I'm thinking it's pretty chilly and I'm going over in my head what to wear on a brisk, Greenway walk. Suddenly it hits me. Why on Earth am I planning to walk 3 miles today when I'm on my way to Dunkin Donuts? ... Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:19:44 EST Slowly Finding Balance I am almost caught up with the work I have to do for school and work. At least I feel like I'm catching up. There's still quite a bit to do and I still plan to get some done tonight after dinner. It's been a horrible, rainy day and I got a whole bunch of things done. I've made some good time for socializing, including a Tuesday trip to Spa Castle with two of my girlfriends from work. The place is amazing. I can't wait to go back with them. We plan to go once a month together. Tonight ... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 18:52:14 EST Learning Balance Like a Boss Since my entire life changed in a span of 24 hours let me tell you a little about this new balance I need to find in order to stay sane and keep up with the work that I need to do. Our new work contract passed which means we have meetings on Mondays until 3:40 pm now. Well this is after I was accepted to the Masters degree programs that will have, for the next 2 years, classes on Monday nights from 4-9 pm. Thank goodness for a new online component and understanding professors our 2 classes... Sat, 27 Sep 2014 09:21:43 EST Took a bit of time off Hello everyone it's me again. I had a bit of a rough time this August and the beginning of September adjusting to everything that happened with that person, my new job and the masters degree program starting. I was not expecting the new job and I was not expecting a few other things to happen but that's over with and I'm not talking about it. Mistakes were made but lessons were learned. <BR> <BR> Now I have a bunch of new clothes and I look amazing right now. 155lbs all of a sudden and ... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 19:35:46 EST Skinny Jeans Conquered! I am amazed at what I found at the mall yesterday, what a score. This season Old Navy has rock star cut skinny jeans that just look fantastic on, so slimming it's unbelievable. I got 3 pairs, 2 different dark blue washes and a black pair. I also got 2 new casual tops and a great pair of knee high brown boots. They're hot. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> There's a picture of them. They seem to be comfortable, looking forward to be... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 22:49:12 EST Infiltration of the 60's Completed Okay this is serious business now, I'm down to 166 so I am firmly into the 60's and I have to put my game face on to get rid of the next 7 pounds to get into the 50's. That is going to cause me to break out into song when that happens. I'm not going back up after this. Now, my stomach has been hurting less as time goes by so I'm going to have to really mind my diet now and not go back to how I was eating 3 weeks ago. I have to keep up with the exercise and maintain a good diet without too... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 16:37:56 EST I Think the Blow Up is Over I think I have the eating problem in check now and I'm back in the direction of weight loss again finally. I had a put my foot down goal of 165 for the end of July and I hit 168.5 today. By August 31st I have a put my foot down goal of 160 pounds then. That's plenty of time to drop 8 more pounds. Checking the calendar just now, 160 is the Perfect goal for August 30th. Here we go, this is serious now. I have to boost the strength training now, when I start to get into the 160's I can sta... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 15:41:11 EST Yes I'm a Bit Ashamed Wasn't expecting my Summer to go like this so far, what happened? From June 11 until today the scale just told me I put back 13 pounds. It would seem I am doing something very, seriously wrong. I thought I was going to do the exact opposite and I didn't. Not sure why or how this went this way. I guess it does sometimes. Maybe I can fix it. I went to Yoga twice last week and I've been walking again. It's the eating. I haven't been able to control my eating or do the things I want to d... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 08:56:21 EST Almost didn't do it today Around 8pm I got up and decided to fill up my tracker for the day. That's 3 miles. I almost decided not to do it, after a 7 day streak what's the big deal about taking a day off? Well I wanted to see the tracker light up again so I got up and got it done. Takes me an hour to do it but it's done now. My 5K is on Sunday and I might be walking it with my team and not using it as a race. Well there will be others. My 5K in October has just been announced and I plan to sign up for it the mo... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 23:07:03 EST Seven Day Streak? I've managed to light up my tracker for the past 7 days in a row. Today I even broke 10,000 steps since in addition to my work out I had to walk to and from the gym. Yeah I managed to get to yoga for my 2 classes so far this week. I'd like to go to Gathan's class tomorrow, that Body Conditioning class is key and he does have it 3 days a week, what could be better? I used to go a lot a long time ago when Anne Marie taught it and it was the Tues/Thurs 7pm slot. I was down at 147 when I was... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 23:05:29 EST And again today too I got in just about 4 miles today again before lunch and that was good. It would be cool to get a gold medal for the week but it's not easy. I'll have to get a lot of walking in during the week. Too bad the SPAT really can't pick up cycling or one ride would do the trick for a gold medal every week. <BR> <BR> My 5K is next week and my family doesn't seem that interested in going. I'll figure out how to get there myself and hopefully be able to get there early enough to run things back... Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:36:33 EST Did It Again I managed to get another walk in after dinner tonight and fill up my tracker. That put me over 40K steps for the week for a silver medal. I want to go for gold for next week. Never got one and I've had my tracker since October 26th. It's about time. I almost didn't go, but I did I can't believe it. <BR> <BR> I went food shopping for good stuff today, lot's of fruits and veggies. Next up I get to the gym for some classes, I'm in need of some yoga. <BR> <BR> <em>362</em> Sat, 12 Jul 2014 22:33:52 EST Almost done So about a week and a half ago on June 30th I started a tiny project that turned into a major makeover job. The kitchen is now officially complete, the paint is done, a new range hood hangs over my stove, pictures have been hung on the wall, laundry is done and away, donation bags are donated and the cleaning of the apartment is well underway now. In an hour or so the apartment will be done and by around 7pm the cats will also be home so it will all be official. Then I can get back to some... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 14:40:23 EST One Big Project So painting this tiny patch on the ceiling is turning into major project. I knew it would be, but I'm actually doing it now, no longer thinking of when the time will come when I get into this project. Today was big day 2 of the kitchen makeover. Took me hours to scrub the walls and floors behind the stove and fridge as well as on top of all the cabinets. I certainly need a much better 6 month plan to clean that messy build up from cooking. Now that I have outstanding cleaners I'll keep u... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 20:45:58 EST Starting Over Where You Are This is what I can do. I have to paint the kitchen, have the apartment cleaned and then I can move back in. I'm going to open every window and run around with a big hunk of sage and clean it out. I'm going to put fresh organic produce in my fridge and all of the fruits I can possibly eat. I'm going to use my blender more and make protein smoothies. I'm going to quit eating cheese and go to every yoga class I can make it too, and I need to make it to a lot of yoga classes if I'm going to ... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 20:04:25 EST Tips for a Better Summer I don't want it to go by too quickly and it still hasn't hit me that I have so much time now to myself. There are a few tips I can follow this summer to make sure I enjoy it fully. <BR> First, get my place done as fast as I can. I have to paint the kitchen and scrub the place down top to bottom. <BR> Second, eat less, a lot less and eat a lot more produce during the day every day. <BR> Third, exercise more. Run my 5K workouts, I have to catch up with those for my July 20th race. Rid... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:35:14 EST Summer Has Begun! Today is the first day of Summer Vacation and I feel weird. Like I'm supposed to be doing something for work and I know I don't have to do anything. I printed out the summer group work out schedule for the YMCA. I should take advantage of all of this time off and get to as many classes as I can. Starting with yoga tomorrow at 8:30am. <BR> <BR> So my beautiful pregnant friend Maria is doing the #100happydays challenge and I decided along with my friend Debbie to do it as well. I'm start... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 17:03:16 EST Someone Noticed! Signing in at work today someone noticed I lost a bit of weight. I like when that happens when I hit the 160's. If I stay faithful to my good eating and my 5K workouts this week I will hopefully lose another 2 pounds by Saturday again. My last weigh-in was at 167 and I'm working for 165 now. Three more days at work and then I'll be free to focus 100% on my weight loss goals and start up some good habits. I'm almost ready to get back into my apartment. Walking over to the YMCA whenever I... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 08:42:13 EST Not Ready Yet I am enjoying the access to nature too much and have been taking advantage of the outdoors as much as I possibly can. I'm not ready to come back to my apartment yet. I need to be able to open my door and sit outside for a bit longer. It's quiet in my little studio, my cats are happy to have the extra space and attention and the family is getting along really well still. I'm enjoying the company so I'll be staying for a bit longer. <BR> <BR> What I have been doing is trying to focus on ... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 13:12:05 EST Message boards don't cause weight loss So I need to get off the internet during the day and do something else with my life. I was hosting a daily riddle club and now that the riddles are over I won't have to log into FB anymore and feed that stupid addiction. I also haven't been spending as much time on here since tracking, posting, and blogging never led to weight loss. Getting off the computer and doing something will lead to weight loss. Yes SparkPeople is an amazing tool, but all that time we have spent in front of the scr... Thu, 22 May 2014 06:18:10 EST So I deleted that entire blog I guess it just got too personal and on this TOM rainy awful day I'm home I think I need to pause and breathe instead of over-sharing. So I have to get through 7 more weeks and I probably shouldn't look at it like that and just focus in on the moment. I can make all kinds of material excuses to stay here (new living room furniture, new FiOS TV, a full pantry, new pretty bedding) but all the things we did to make me comfortable here doesn't make up for the lack of company I'm feeling right a... Thu, 1 May 2014 07:24:38 EST 17 Classes This Month That's how many times Ginny will hold her Yoga class in May at the White Plains YMCA. How many of them can I get to? The more the better for me and I wonder if I could make it to all 17. I know it's not a good idea to set such a big absolute goal so I would like to make it to at least 13 Yoga classes in May. I've been a bit stressed lately, which means I'm looking ahead too much and not simmering in the present moment and finding peace. I'm thinking of Sedona, and Mexico and Summer too m... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 13:28:33 EST Road to Peaceful Remember that theme for 2014? Instead of making a resolution I would work toward a single theme. Peaceful. I go back to work tomorrow, 46 straight days till Summer Vacation. I will enjoy those days, work hard, get everything done on time and have a smooth end to the year. In one of those 46 days I will hear whether or not I'm being put on permanent staff. My family suspects a lot of my health problems will go into remission when I get a permanent appointment and a new contract with a rai... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 20:47:29 EST Addicted to Wheat Let me change carbs to Wheat. It's not carbs that I could be having a problem with, it's wheat. <BR> Being a New Yorker I am 100% badly addicted to bleached wheat products. It makes up the majority of my diet and with all the new studies about the irritating nature of processed wheat that are far from what we would find in nature I need to figure out how to change my dietary foundation. This isn't going to be easy, but somehow I have to figure out how to try this. One place I'm not goin... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 05:06:31 EST Off the grid, into the woods, yoga and reading for a week Going to Southwest Harbor Maine for a week to hike around in Acadia National Park and I'm not even bringing my lap top. I am bringing my yoga mat, DVD's, journal and kindle. I need it, really need it. I want to unplug and let go of everything. <BR> <BR> I have started losing weight and I plan to keep it up. I'm sure this vacation will be good for weight loss. All of my vacations are. Going to finish packing, leaving tomorrow. <BR> <BR> <em>413</em> <em>414</em> <em>415</em> ... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 20:33:23 EST Went for a run, well mostly walking but I did run. Just under a mile, about 7/10 I did at a nice little jog today on my walk. It should be a daily walk but I haven't been sticking to it very good yet. I actually stopped what I was doing for once and went on a walk today instead of wasting the day. I'm glad I did it. I have to stay active every day and keep up the weight loss momentum. Even for just a mile I want to get in a walk every day now that the weather is breaking finally. Looks like I'll have the weather for the next week to do... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 22:32:52 EST Sad but Steady Mornings have been a challenge. Need to just get through them and find peace. Looking to finish a lot of work today and survive through to Friday. Wish I could move earlier than planned, we'll see how the week goes. I may not wait 2 more weeks. Keeping my head above water. Staying peaceful inside. Staying present, not going to freak about a few hours from now. Stay in each moment and it will all get done. Going to flow through this day and be okay. <BR> <BR> This is my positive at... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 06:22:52 EST Wanting Change Finding Peace Time to let off a bit of steam regarding things I have to deal with that I cannot change at the moment. I will, however try to maintain a positive attitude. Running with my feet never touching the ground. I don't know when that feeling is going to end. Work is okay, but it's still not a permanent thing and I'll feel like I'm running until I know if they're keeping me or if I have to start this all over again for a seventh year. It' just not easy to work with that level of uncertainty, I'm... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 07:41:53 EST 39 on Monday, feeling like I'm in a smaller weight class Well my birthday was on Monday (3/24) and I am 172 now and starting to feel the next weight class. A little slimmer than the 173-178 feeling. This is the 168-172 feeling. I'm starting to get a little more comfortable with myself and this motivates me so much more than being 175 when I'm really starting to feel the weight of my body on my frame. I'm a little taller now, a little lighter, a little freer, a little more at peace. I think with the weather finally, maybe breaking I'll be gettin... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 08:46:35 EST Fresh week, fresh start, tracking, working out, focusing. I guess I really have to focus more. I have to track what goes into my mouth more than anything. Too much goes under the radar and I pack on too many extra calories. I set a new little goal and it's an easy one. I want to simply walk 1 mile every day. No matter what else I do I want to just get a mile in every day somewhere. Up and down the block, just move. Come home from work, change and walk a mile. No music, just clearing my head, focus on breathing out the day. I will start toda... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 10:12:54 EST I deserve to love myself every single day. Why wait until I reach a goal, change my life, meet a guy, find a good job? Why wait for any of that? Why not just love and respect myself now? I may never reach the goal, change my life, meet the guy or find a good job. I can love and respect myself somehow even without those things. I do believe it might actually be possible to like yourself even when you are not happy with your life. If the unhappiness stems from things I cannot change then I can only hope to focus on what is in my c... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 09:48:41 EST Sorry progress, I didn't see you there. Welcome. Okay so since New Year's I seem to have lost almost 7 pounds, my waist stayed the same, I lost 2.5 inches off my hips, 1 inch off my thigh and an inch off my bust. Horaay progress! Like real progress again. I'm glad I stopped this morning and did my measurements, I didn't do them in February. Now I think things will start to change faster, the weather is trying to get nice now. I'm pretty impressed that I made that much progress, I didn't think I was going anywhere since the scale has be... Sat, 15 Mar 2014 11:06:49 EST Good Fridge for the Week Veggies: Carrots, beets, peas. <BR> Fruits: pineapple, oranges, bananas. <BR> Dairy: organic mozz. string cheese, eggs, skim milk, white american, plain Chobani. (all protein) <BR> Protein: Kashi Go Lean, sliced turkey, rotisserie chicken, boneless/skinless chicken breast. <BR> Carbs: pumpernickel bread, English muffins. <BR> Sweets: local honey. <BR> <BR> That's what you can find me eating this week if I stick to what I have in the fridge and do some cooking in the evening. I think it's a... Sun, 9 Mar 2014 21:35:40 EST Found My Tracker, 3000 Steps in the Washer! If you were curious how far your washing machine goes when it spins. Well I was right, I did leave it on my bra and it did go through the washer and it lit up when I took it out and tapped it and registered over 3000 steps for the day. That's a lot of spinning in the washer. Thank you Spark People for making a tough little tracker. I'm glad it survived. Sat, 1 Mar 2014 21:41:27 EST Lost my Spark Activity Tracker:( I think it's going through the wash as we speak so I've ruined it. I thought I remember taking it off my bra when I put my bra in the laundry basket, but the tracker isn't where I put it when I take it off so if it's in the laundry I'll be ordering a new one tonight. That's okay, I'll order the one without the Spark logo colors so it blends into my dark shoe better at work. I wonder if the o-ring can survive the wash. It's supposed to survive swimming so I might get lucky tonight. I do h... Sat, 1 Mar 2014 18:52:08 EST Not enough money this year. So I was looking through a few photos and it sunk in really deep that I won't be going to Mexico this year and it broke my heart. I'm still out of balance with my finances since I have to start saving for a car now and I just can't swing both. I'm so happy when I'm there and it's where I've been able to come home and unwind every year before getting thrown back into work. I'll miss my friends, the food, the everything about it. I'm sure I'll get used the idea and be okay with it eventuall... Sat, 22 Feb 2014 09:21:44 EST