JENGOJENGO's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JENGOJENGO JENGOJENGO's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I'm back...with before photos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5266013 Well, after a long (ish) time away, I am back, with my tail between my legs. I have started over so many times...I don't know why I even bother sometimes. But, I have just started seeing a therapist for the first time ever, and I am hoping that will help me sort through why I tend to sabotage myself. <BR> <BR> I have decided to no longer have any pictures or identifying information on this site because I want to be able to share my journey honestly, without holding back for fear of censure... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 13:02:56 EST Managing Holiday Stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5164157 As part of the Biggest Loser Winter Challenge, we are to blog about ways to manage/reduce stress. I find the holidays to be a great time, but also a very stressful time. I am a very sensitive person, and an easily overwhelmed person, so time with extended family can be fun for me, but also stressful. <BR> <BR> I needed some strategies to help me manage my stress and emotions. Here is what's included in my stress game plan: <BR> <BR> 1. Drink 8 glasses of water daily. I don't ever do t... Wed, 12 Dec 2012 09:33:04 EST Newest Christmas Day Weight Loss Goal Update :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5149181 As I posted in earlier blogs, my goal is to break out of the "obese" BMI range by Christmas. This would be a 17 lb loss from what I am now, which breaks down to 2 lbs a week. An ambitious but achievable goal. <BR> <BR> Here is the updated progress: <BR> <BR> Start: 10/24 190 <BR> Wk1: 10/31 Goal: 188 Actual: 186.7 :) <BR> Wk2: 11/7 Goal: 186 Actual 187.2 :( <BR> Wk3: 11/14 Goal: 184 Actual 186.2 :| <BR> Wk4: 11/21 Goal: 182 -Did not weigh in due to holiday travels <BR> Wk5: 11/28 Goal: 180-... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 07:46:11 EST Christmas Day Weight Loss Goal Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5134842 As I posted in earlier blogs, my goal is to break out of the "obese" BMI range by Christmas. This would be a 17 lb loss from what I am now, which breaks down to 2 lbs a week. An ambitious but achievable goal. <BR> <BR> Here is the updated progress: <BR> <BR> Start: 10/24 190 <BR> Wk1: 10/31 Goal: 188 Actual: 186.7 :) <BR> Wk2: 11/7 Goal: 186 Actual 187.2 :( <BR> Wk3: 11/14 Goal: 184 Actual 186.2 :| <BR> Wk4: 11/21 Goal: 182 <BR> Wk5: 11/28 Goal: 180 <BR> Wk6: 12/5 Goal: 178 <BR> Wk7: 12/12 ... Wed, 14 Nov 2012 07:40:21 EST Christmas Goal Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5126947 As I posted in earlier blogs, my goal is to break out of the "obese" BMI range by Christmas. This would be a 17 lb loss from what I am now, which breaks down to 2 lbs a week. An ambitious but achievable goal. <BR> <BR> Here is the updated progress: <BR> <BR> Start: 10/24 190 <BR> Wk1: 10/31 Goal: 188 Actual: 186.7 :) <BR> Wk2: 11/7 Goal: 186 Actual 187.2 :( <BR> Wk3: 11/14 Goal: 184 <BR> Wk4: 11/21 Goal: 182 <BR> Wk5: 11/28 Goal: 180 <BR> Wk6: 12/5 Goal: 178 <BR> Wk7: 12/12 Goal: 176... Wed, 7 Nov 2012 07:40:28 EST Can't seem to get back on track.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5126072 I am just in a bad pattern right now. I keep over eating! I had been doing so well, and now I am just sabotaging it all. <BR> <BR> I don't know exactly why... <BR> <BR> Combination of being very stressed about my 5 year old's Asthma flare up, the holidays approaching, money... <BR> <BR> I think a major trigger for me is comparison. I think this all started going downhill when I was reading the blogs/pages of some of the more "successful" members in terms of weight loss. They seem pret... Tue, 6 Nov 2012 11:10:50 EST Forgiving myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5124902 Went off-track yesterday and today so far. My first inclination is to say "forget about this weight-loss thing! I've failed! If I can't do it perfectly, then I might as well not do it!". <BR> <BR> But that attitude is what got me here in the first place! OK, so I went over today and this morning. I lost some of my progress. I accept it. I accept myself as a flawed individual. I can only be who I am. I will not allow this failure to cause me to quit, because that is the only true fai... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 13:05:39 EST Real reasons for wanting to lose weight??? Jeez. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5124661 The SparkCoach assignment today was to blog about what my true motivation behind losing weight was. This is a really tough one for me. I am not sure that I even know the answer. <BR> <BR> I really want to look and feel better, but I am very mixed up about what that even means. I mean, if I lose this weight, I will not instantly transform into Heidi Klum. I will not suddenly turn into a person who loves to spend hours putting on makeup, doing my hair, etc. I will not suddenly have a bunc... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 10:06:59 EST What a crock! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5120400 Well, I am using my crock pot again! I have dinner simmering, which will hopefully be good. <BR> <BR> I made up a soup recipe, and it smells really delicious. I am trying to get the kids (and myself) to eat more veggies. <BR> <BR> I shredded (finely) 2 cups of carrots, diced an onion and some celery, chopped a pound of boneless skinless chicken breast, 1 clove of garlic, 6 cups of water, and some chicken bullion for added flavor. Also, some taco seasoning to give it a Mexican flavor.... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 14:35:54 EST Christmas Day Weight Loss Goal Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5118727 As I posted in an earlier blog, my goal is to break out of the "obese" BMI range by Christmas. This would be a 17 lb loss from what I am now, which breaks down to 2 lbs a week. An ambitious but achievable goal. <BR> <BR> Here is the updated progress: <BR> <BR> Start: 10/24 190 <BR> Wk1: 10/31 Goal: 188 Actual: 186.7 :) <BR> Wk2: 11/7 Goal: 186 <BR> Wk3: 11/14 Goal: 184 <BR> Wk4: 11/21 Goal: 182 <BR> Wk5: 11/28 Goal: 180 <BR> Wk6: 12/5 Goal: 178 <BR> Wk7: 12/12 Goal: 176 <BR> Wk 8: 12/19 Go... Wed, 31 Oct 2012 07:28:30 EST Looking up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5117764 Last night, I had to really fight myself to get outside for my walk. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l12260835.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I had to fight my exhaustion---it sounded much better just to go to bed. I had finally gotten the kids in bed, and now I could finally watch some TV! <BR> <BR> But no. No, I needed to get out and walk. <BR> <BR> But I was so depressed! And stressed. And it was so cold and dark outside. And I just wanted to go lay down. <BR> <BR> <i... Tue, 30 Oct 2012 10:31:42 EST Kreme of the Krisp....You shall not pass! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5117138 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1487017374.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My kids got free doughnuts for getting A's on their report card--a full dozen! And I didn't have even one. (pats self on back) <BR> <BR> Listen, I'm not sayin' that you can't have a doughnut. If you can have just one and stop, more power to you. But if I let myself have one, I will have to have another, and another, and then I may as well eat Cincinatti. So. Ahem..... <BR> <BR> It shall not pass! Mon, 29 Oct 2012 18:58:37 EST Changing my own mind... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5115704 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1817580943.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> What do I think about myself and my weight loss journey? How do I seek to change my own mind? To stop being afraid.... <BR> <BR> afraid to succeed.... (How will I buy new clothes? Should I go back blonde? Will I have loose skin?) <BR> <BR> afraid to fail.... (will I gain it all back? should I not even try?) <BR> <BR> afraid to even try.... (I hate to draw attention to myself....I don't wat to have to... Sun, 28 Oct 2012 14:43:31 EST Excuses, excuses, excuses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5114468 I am doing the SparkCoach program right now (I highly, highly recommend it) <BR> and the task for today was to blog about excuses that keep me from working out. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/5/l753407425.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> 1--I think first off, I just feel so stinkin' tired all the time. I have seen a doctor about this, and they have not been able to find any "medical" reason to explain my fatigue. So if I ever get any time to myself away from my 2, 5 and 8... Sat, 27 Oct 2012 09:19:36 EST Christmas Goal Breakdown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5113346 As I posted in an earlier blog, my goal is to break out of the "obese" BMI range by Christmas. This would be a 17 lb loss from what I am now, which breaks down to 2 lbs a week. An ambitious but achievable goal. Here is the break down. <BR> <BR> Start: 10/24 190 <BR> Wk1: 10/31 Goal: 188 <BR> Wk2: 11/7 Goal: 186 <BR> Wk3: 11/14 Goal: 184 <BR> Wk4: 11/21 Goal: 182 <BR> Wk5: 11/28 Goal: 180 <BR> Wk6: 12/5 Goal: 178 <BR> Wk7: 12/12 Goal: 176 <BR> Wk 8: 12/19 Goal 174 <BR> Wk 9: 12/25 Goal 1... Fri, 26 Oct 2012 08:12:58 EST Finding Motivation Beyond the Scale http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5112332 My spark coach community task today was to blog about the non-scale victories I have had in my journey to healthy living. <BR> <BR> I think the main way that I have improved is my nutrition and that of my family. I have been incorporating many more fruits and veggies, soups and low-fat meats. I also have been experimenting with whole grains and non-dairy substitutes such as almond milk. I want my kids to learn to eat healthy, whole foods now while they are still young so that they don't... Thu, 25 Oct 2012 10:50:44 EST New short term goal: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5111097 Get out of "obese" range by Christmas day. This will be my Christmas present to myself. I am 191 right now, so I need to get to 174 by Christmas Day. This is 17 lbs, and 9 weeks, which averages to 1.9 lbs per week, but I will round up to 2 lbs per week for my goal. This is a healthy rate of weight loss for me. <BR> <BR> How I will achieve this goal is: <BR> 1- stick to my SP calorie and nutrient ranges for the day. (1290-1640 calories a day) <BR> 2- meet my (meager, compared to what othe... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:54:19 EST Tracking is the key http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5074172 For me, tracking is the key to everything. Making the time to write down/type what I eat is the ultimate accountability tool for me. That is what makes SP so great (or part of what makes it great, anyways.) <BR> <BR> I am re-committing myself to faithfully tracking today. <BR> <BR> Have a great day, spark friends! Tue, 25 Sep 2012 09:45:02 EST How to separate food from emotions? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5064799 Let me try and explain my issue. Intellectually, I know that weight loss is simple: calories in, calories out. I know there is more to it than that, but if I am honest with myself, I know that if I consistently burn more calories than I consume, then I will lose. <BR> <BR> However, I associate food with emotions. When I am stressed, food is how I cope. Sometimes, I feel like food is the --only-- thing that will make me feel better. Also when I am happy, I want to "celebrate" with food. A lot... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:36:37 EST My New Vision Collage http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5046900 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/1/l810426255.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have been going through the Spark Coach program, and today's action step was to make a vision collage. I made one when I joined years ago, but it is no where to be found, and I have started over again anyways with new motivations. Pictured are my 3 kids, husband. Also some fashion illustrations because I am very motivated by being able to get a new wardrobe that expresses my personality. <BR> <BR> I think th... Thu, 6 Sep 2012 10:32:36 EST What is this weight? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5045458 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/1/l319068679.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> I am trying to figure out how I got to where I am now. How did I let 8o lbs creep up on me in the 9 years I have been married? Why did I not stop myself, love myself enough to do something about it? What is this weight about, really? <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/4/l342332191.jpg"> <BR> "Wondering" by Jill Tennison <BR> <BR> <BR> Why are some people able to cope with ... Wed, 5 Sep 2012 11:30:42 EST I WILL NOT QUIT http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5044467 I am in that point with my journey where I am over that initial "excitement." The initial big water weight loss of the first couple weeks is over, and now I am just c-r-a-w-l-i-n-g ahead. <BR> <BR> This is where I usually give up. <BR> <BR> But-I-WILL-NOT-GIVE-UP-THIS-TIME. <BR> <BR> This is forever. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/6/l96379490.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I want to change. I want this to be permanent. I will not quit because it is <BR> <BR> hard. <BR> <BR> I wi... Tue, 4 Sep 2012 19:36:27 EST Took a walk tonight... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5041655 ...and it felt good! <BR> <BR> I needed to get out of the house, just into the quiet of the night. I am one of those people that really cherishes and *needs* my alone time. Don't get me wrong, I love to socialize and be around people. But to really unwind, I like to just "be". <BR> <BR> Maybe it's from being an only child! Sun, 2 Sep 2012 21:21:32 EST New Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5039710 I am going through the Spark Coach program, which is awesome, and today's program entailed revising and updating our goals. It was helpful to me to take a fresh look at my goals. I have listed them below, and plan on checking in with them daily/ or at least weekly. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> _____GOALS_______ <BR> <BR> ::::::Weight Goals:::::::: <BR> <BR> Weight Goal #1: <BR> 174- "Overweight" B.M.I., out of obese range! Hope to reach by January 1st <BR> <BR> <BR> Weight Goal #2: <BR> 145- ... Sat, 1 Sep 2012 08:33:06 EST Thought I could get away with not tracking.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5030256 ...just one day. I thought "I deserve it--I have been doing so good!) But, it showed up on the scale! <BR> <BR> I can't trust myself to eyeball my portions. I'm quite sure I went over. <BR> <BR> And I can't make food a reward anymore, even a reward of not tracking. Thank goodness I exercised to (hopefully) mitigate the damage a bit. <BR> <BR> Stress/emotional eating is absolutely my #1 problem. I have to find a way to counteract this. Arg! Sat, 25 Aug 2012 08:59:21 EST Joined the reducing stress challenge! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5029199 I joined this challenge because I am living in a constant state of extreme stress. Yes, there are some hard things going on in my life that are outside of my control, but I can control how I react to them. My goals are: <BR> <BR> -Take 10-30 minutes a day just for myself, away from the computer, kids, tv, etc, and just focus on relaxing and praying. <BR> <BR> -Make a housework schedule that is realistic and will allow me to accept that I cannot do it all. <BR> <BR> Hopefully that will help... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:15:19 EST So down today...rambling rant of stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5027863 I am just hungry. And grumpy. And stressed. <BR> <BR> We have been waiting for almost 2 years on my husband's possible medical discharge from the military and it is just killing me. We are in the final stage now, jsut waiting, and of course no one can give us any time frame. I stay at home, and want to continue to do so (3 small children) and we have no idea what we will do if he looses his job. <BR> <BR> I have looked and looked for some way to make money at home but have not been ... Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:15:39 EST Need to find some new ways to eat vegetables http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5025950 As I mentioned in my last blog, I don't eat very any vegetables. I am thinking of putting them on sandwiches/ wraps, but i know that is not enough. I want to love salad, but honestly, I find it difficult to eat. Anybody have any bright ideas? Wed, 22 Aug 2012 07:53:16 EST Trying some new things http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5024650 I have been doing pretty well lately. I have lost 10 lbs, although I am cautiously optimistic because this is the same 10 lbs I have lost and gained over and over again over the past few years. I started at 202+. I am now 192.4, as of this morning. <BR> <BR> I find that I am fine the first 5 or 6 days of a re-newed committment, but after the first week, I start feeling hungry and deprived. So I am doing what I can to stay focused. I am telling myself that it is OK to try new things, as ... Tue, 21 Aug 2012 09:53:07 EST Tracking well so far today.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4984877 i just have to keep at it. I tend to do well through breakfast, sometimes quit at lunch, and usually quit by dinnertime. I wonder why that is? Am I trying to "save" too many calories for dinner, that I am so famished, I eat without thinking? <BR> <BR> <BR> Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:02:43 EST Scaling back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4983723 Wow. You gotta love a double entendre. <BR> <BR> I am lowering the intensity and pace of my goals, because I have been learning about myself. When I see I am not keeping pace with my [always] uber-ambitious goals, I freeze. I see I cannot do it, and quit. <BR> <BR> I have reduced my goal from losing 82 lbs, to a more reasonable 62 lbs. Also, I have reduced the pace from 2 lbs per week, which has proven too intense for everything I have going on, to 1 lb a week. I figure it's better t... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 18:55:03 EST My own worst enemy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4978796 Sometimes, I can really hate myself. <BR> <BR> I can be such. an. idiot. <BR> <BR> Like last night. Helping out at church dinner. We prepared tacos, and I thought I would be great and reserve some of the shredded lettuce so that I could make a taco salad and save on the calories of the tortillas. So I am going through the very long, very busy line with my little container of lettuce. Get up to the front, and say [proudly] "I am having a taco salad, so just meat please." The guy pauses, as i... Fri, 20 Jul 2012 07:15:58 EST Ripping the pages out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4975703 <BR> <BR> I am a quitter. <BR> <BR> I have learned that about myself over the years. Don't get me wrong, I don't quit on the important things in life, of those that I perceive as important, such as my marriage (9 years and going strong), my kids, or my faith. But I quit on myself quite often. <BR> <BR> I am one of those people that would love to journal, but whenever I would get a few pages again, I would want to rip them out and start over. I can't tell you how many notebooks i have... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:23:00 EST Goals Thursday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4544999 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/3/l330411084.jpg"> <BR> I need to set some goals. I have just bought "The Spark" on my kindle (it was only 1.99!) and it has really inspired me to do some goal setting. <BR> <BR> These are my new beginnings goals. I usually set too many difficult goals that I cannot keep, so these are stepping stones goals. <BR> <BR> Fitness/Health goals: <BR> <BR> --Stick to my SP range every day(1250-1630). But, if I slip up, just keep going. It will ... Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:16:53 EST Morality of overindulgence http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4543393 OK, well I am now officially over the excitement of the first couple weeks, with a great loss, and now it is the hard part. The part where you keep going. I have always been a head in the clouds, idea type of person, not that great of a follow through person. BUT....not anymore. I just know that, with God's help, I am going to keep going. <BR> <BR> I think it was so easy for me to demoralize my overeating. To tell myself that it wasn't wrong. But the truth is, I tend to excess. I tend... Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:19:41 EST He is able http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4539285 Why is it that I was able to not eat anything last night even though I was hungry? Why am I able to make it happen this week, but not others? I wasn't even tempted to get anything to eat, even though my stomach was audibly grumbling, because I saw on my SP tracker that I had had enough calories for that day. I am able to do this. He is able. <BR> <BR> "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Chri... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:37:57 EST Lost my footing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4129500 I lost my footing in my weight loss journey. Gained back the 6 lbs that I lost. I don't know what it is going to take for me to make this change. I can't ever seem to stick with anything. So discouraged. Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:48:03 EST Dragging today.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4071221 Had a nice time at church this morning. This weekend has been a hectic one, on my own with all 3 kids. Have not gotten time to exercise this whole weekend. I absolutely will do it tonight, even if it is at 10:00 at night. I will do one of the firm videos. I wish that I had "made" the time to do it this weekend even though I have been very overwhelmed and tired, but I can't beat myself up with "shoulda coulda wouldas".....I WILL do it tonight. <BR> <BR> There was a potluck after church... Sun, 6 Mar 2011 19:41:35 EST Starting to actually look forward to working out! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4066772 I never thought that would be true of myself, but it is! I am actually enjoying working out. It helps me in so many ways- improves my mood, helps me sleep (in between getting up to nurse the baby), de-stresses me and gives me a sense of accomplishment. It even helps me focus on food and weight less (in a good way) <BR> <BR> Yay for exercise! <BR> <BR> Might do a yoga video tonight for something different and because I am very stiff/sore from jogging and lifting weights yesterday. Just ... Fri, 4 Mar 2011 17:39:51 EST March 2011 Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4063653 My goals this month are as follows: <BR> <BR> -Lose 1 lb a week, totalling 4 lbs this month. Going at a slow rate because of breastfeeding, very cautious about losing too fast (not that that has ever been a problem for me lol) My weigh in this morning was 187.5, so I hope to be at 183.5 by the 31st of this month. <BR> <BR> -Faithfully track every food that I eat. <BR> <BR> -Stick to my calories every day <BR> <BR> -Work out at least 3 times per week, with the goal being 5 times. <BR> <... Thu, 3 Mar 2011 14:33:04 EST Got my MRI results today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4058098 Totally unremarkable MRI of the brain. <BR> <BR> YAY, I have an unremarkable brain! My 3rd grade math teacher was right! <BR> <BR> Seriously, Praise God it was a huge relief. I feel revitalized, like nothing is holding me back from getting healthy. I have always had my parents poor health as a shadow over my head, worrying I got their "crappy genes", but after a complete work-up, I am fine! (minus the obesity, high cholesterol and exhaustion) <BR> <BR> Now I am free to realize my drea... Tue, 1 Mar 2011 16:23:10 EST Realizing some things about myself... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4054919 Such as, cheat days are not a good idea. They lead to multiple consecutive cheat days which are an even worse idea. Better not to cheat at all for me, psychologically. <BR> <BR> Also, better not to weight myself daily. Cause if the number is bad (aka not what I had hoped for) then I am feeling down all day. And if the number is good, then I feel like I can afford to "cheat" a little bit. (see above paragraph) <BR> <BR> I think that I will weigh myself 1x per 2 weeks, and that is it. A ... Mon, 28 Feb 2011 16:08:12 EST 1726 calories at lunch is a bit much http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4047996 SO I really did not do too good at lunch today. DH suggested that we eat out for lunch at our favorite place and I agonized over the menu for 15 minutes and just couldn't decide on a "healthy" option so ended up getting the o;d standby, Crispy Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers® w/ Ranch. Well, came home and looked up the nutritional info---1660 calories! and 75 grams of fat! Holy (fat) cow~ <BR> Well, that's one doodle that can't be undid now. Oh, and I almost forgot about the coldstone. Fri, 25 Feb 2011 20:09:18 EST 21% http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4044894 21% of women would trade 10 years of their life to get to their ideal weight, according to a study published in USAToday. <BR> <BR> Wow. <BR> <BR> These women are daughters, mothers, grand-daughters, sisters, and they would give up 10 years of their lives to be at their dream weight. That is.....well.......not very surprising. And very, very sad. <BR> <BR> You know what? Until recently, I might have been among them. <BR> <BR> But not today. Not now. I love my 3 precious blessings a... Thu, 24 Feb 2011 16:17:15 EST Kinda went crazy today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4042712 I over-ate today. It's 4:17 and I have 28 calories left. It's because I had 2 sodas today. I over-ate because I am stressed out about a bunch of stuff. I have an event at my daughter's school tonight but after I get them in bed I am planning on doing Leslie Sansone's 5 mile walk to burn off some steam (and empty calories) and I am going to get back on track tommorrow. I think that my issues today were not focusing on fruits and vegetables as I had been, and not drinking enough water. Ev... Wed, 23 Feb 2011 21:20:25 EST So hungry... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4041917 I am just having a very hungry day. It's very challenging for me to reign myself in and think about what I am eating. I had a really great cardio and strength training day yesterday, plus really stuck to my calories, plus I am breastfeeding so I am very hungry. I just need to pace myself, and try to neither gorge nor starve myself and listen to my body. And also not beat myself up because I am hungry, as if that were a dirty word haha~ Wed, 23 Feb 2011 15:38:52 EST Tired today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4036772 I was up all last night with the baby, plus I was having nightmares (I think because of the MRI) so I am very tired. But my dear DH took the kids out to play putt putt this afternoon and I was able to lie down a bit so that was good. <BR> <BR> I am at that point in my "diets" history where the newness has worn off and I start thinking about cheat days. Those are not a good idea for me. So I need to stick to the straight and narrow of my calorie range. <BR> <BR> I also need to focus on mo... Mon, 21 Feb 2011 21:57:08 EST MRI's suck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4033965 Today I had an MRI (ordered due to vertigo, weakness, poor balance) and it was truly terrifying. I do not scare easy, and do not consider myself to be claustrophobic (not any more than a reasonable person anyways) but man, this really wigged me out. They put this cage thingy over my face (there was about a half inch from the end of my nose) and then put me in this completely enclosed tube (no space to move at all) and I was locked in there for 30 minutes. People had warned me that MRI's we... Sun, 20 Feb 2011 23:58:19 EST Pros and Cons http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4030300 Well, yesterday had some pros and cons. Mostly pros, and only 1 con. <BR> <BR> Pros: <BR> -I did not binge last night even though I really, really wanted to~ I was having a terrible stressful day but I stuck to my calorie ranges. <BR> -I woke up this morning and the scale rewarded me with a loss! <BR> -I took a walk yesterday with all 3 kids even though my baby was crying most of the time and my daughter ran her bike out in front of a car. Was not the best walk eve, but at least we all sur... Sat, 19 Feb 2011 13:33:01 EST All about the attitude http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4028157 Attitude is super important for me. Because I obviously know how to lose weight. It's the 6 inches between my ears that have kept me from losing weight and keeping it off for the past 5 years. My attitude has to be: <BR> <BR> -Little things do matter! <BR> It does matter if I have cheese on my sandwich, it does matter if I park farther away from Target, it does matter if I have 1 ketchup packet or 2, it does matter whether or not I eat out tonight. Little things add up! <BR> <BR> -I am ... Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:18:58 EST