JCHRELLE_04's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JCHRELLE%5F04 JCHRELLE_04's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ "WAITING" for the Weight.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5338257 First off, Sorry to my Spark Friends for my hiatus. I know how annoying it could be to not have a solid support and I am most def working on my consistency.... <BR> <BR> For the MONTH that I was away, I have had some successes and fails. <BR> I have a car now! (yayyy!) <BR> I'm planning a trip to Vegas for my Bday in OCT (My goal was to get out more) <BR> Plus I have been more productive and making plans with old friends. <BR> I have decreased work related stress tremendously by a new outl... Sun, 28 Apr 2013 12:59:19 EST *riding the waves on a Cloudy Beach* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5305912 This is about trying to maintain my composure when things get alittle rocky. .. <BR> <BR> So, this month has been an experience. Work stress.. loss a mentor/friend.. and gain some clarity.. but mostly I am struggling to maintain my ground on South BEACH Diet. ..as for work, the Union formation caused a lot of division so I chose not to be invovled at all. Especially since the sudden loss of a mentor that sparked my love for performing arts. It not only touched me but made me realize I was so... Sun, 31 Mar 2013 01:33:18 EST A break from "the beach" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5261440 My sisters 21st birthday at Dave & Busters was soo much fun. It was my "chill day" I did pretty decent. I actually found myself stealing broccoli off my moms plate surprisingly. Guess the allure of "forbidden" food is greater than the actual craving. But I am learning the difference between eating to live vs living to eat and thirst vs hunger. I even learn that my irritability was proof that I used food to cover my emotions in the past. <BR> <BR> I had an Aha moment as well yesterday. I am i... Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:50:35 EST Bringing Sand to "The Beach" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5249501 Still trucking on the SOUTH BEACH regimen. Amazed at the willpower I have in me. Other than weight loss I already feel a difference by how my clothes fit and how I am feeling. I haven't started a fitness regimen until I get my eating habits corrected, but I do find it easier to do some movement. I shoveled for 2hrs after the blizzard and even though my body felt sore, it felt good to burn Over 570 calories. I am loving the JAY ROBB Whey Protein. I have the chocolate flavor with 25g of protein... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 19:13:43 EST Winter On "The Beach" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5240783 Day 2 of Phase 1 on SOUTH BEACH LIVING!!!! <BR> <BR> I'm doing better than I thought I would. <em>104</em> <BR> I feel much lighter since I'm not binge eating anymore. But I am experiencing crazy cravings. Several times of the day I found myself thinking of chocolate cake or a biggggg burger. LOL! This is the part that I hate because I know that it will bring on crabbiness after some time. I just have to find ways to preoccupy myself to avoid a massive meltdown. For now, I'm feeling pret... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 21:26:45 EST Spartan Spirit!!! *Day 1* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5239208 HEY SPARKLERS!!! <BR> <BR> Back from another hiatus. In 8 months a person really can CHANGE.... <BR> I was walking home from work and thinking.. {"Geez, my life sucks. I am 26yrs/o, I just sold my car that I had for only a year, I still live at home, I lost so many people, I'm swimming in college loan debt, I just missed out on a great job opportunity that my friend now has, my current job sucks, I'm single, I'm a whopping 315lbs now ..and Its taking forever to accomplish my goals and dreams... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 19:44:21 EST Doctors and Fat people... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4930563 Okay... so In the past few years prior I was going from doctor to doctor.. even a gyno to get answers to my many different symptoms. I was mostly told <BR> "LOSE WEIGHT" <BR> "Its in your head" <BR> "pcos?? lose weight" <BR> "wanna try antidepressants.. u seem depressed" (mind u, she JUST met me, all I said was I have been experiencing stomach pains) <BR> <BR> So this past week I've had stomach pains and dizziness (which has occurred many times prior). Like any other human I decided to ... Sun, 17 Jun 2012 20:50:22 EST Tracking vs Mindful Eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4914824 I deal with anxiety so its easy for me to drive myself crazy over the simplest of things. I can recall my Grandfather (rest his soul) telling me that stress can kill. And I didn't learn just how serious it was until I had my first stomach ulcer. Years later I tried anxiety meds and of course just stress eating. None of which actually worked. Till this very day I am still trying to find a healthy way to deal with my stress and anxiety. Writing being my occasional cure... <BR> So.. This week a... Wed, 6 Jun 2012 13:35:42 EST "WHY WEIGHT?" ...Just LIVE! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4909453 I havent been on here in so long I had that feeling people get when they go back to church after of years of not being an active member. *AWKWARD* <BR> But we know God is forgiving and I realize I dont have judges awaiting me here anyways. <BR> But I digress.... <BR> <BR> My absence was with cause. I truly wanted to take a break from the obsession with weightloss. It was draining me so much and I really realized how much I was failing miserably because of the amount of pressure I was putti... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 00:14:23 EST Resolutions before the NEW YEAR! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4617295 "Everybody dies, but not everybody lives" -Drake <BR> <BR> I've been reflecting on this year a bit. And I'm kind of looking forward to a new year. Just for the simple fact that I'm craving BRANDNEW!! Instead of the usual.."I wanna lose weight" ..I'm thinking of just wanting to experience life fully in general. I'm sure millions of people say that to no avail. But I'm seriously CRAVING a taste of life as I've never before. I wanna buy a size 14 jeans and work till I fit in them. I wanna go to... Thu, 8 Dec 2011 05:18:12 EST Same song..different Dance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4590880 In current events I am a hermit shuffling from work and home. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want and the only exercise I do is walking to work & cleaning.. only because I HAVE to. Oh.. and I sleep whenever I am not working or watching TV. =) <BR> Well, sounds like I gave the hell up right? ...Yes, the drive is gone but the DESIRE is pure. <BR> I bought a treadmill. I have 3 belly wraps. Hand weights. 2 different pilates balls. DVD's ..biggest loser, Flirty girl fitness, etc. I have a w... Sat, 19 Nov 2011 03:17:15 EST *INSPIRATION* : Note to SELF...or Anyone who Wants it!! =) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4307853 Dear Self, <BR> <BR> If ur reading this.. u need me. The side of u that keeps motivated and strives for however long u let me. I'm that voice inside u that knows u can do this and I know how bad you want this. Yeah..I know I seem to fade away with time, stress, sickness, TOM, sorrow, or maybe just some excuse YOU come up with. But... I'm here to bring u back to ME. ...and maybe we can coexist one day. I figured, we did this before. We can again. So Ill remind u what WE learned that WORKS.. <... Sun, 19 Jun 2011 03:13:22 EST x( After the Hurricane.. )x http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4157066 <BR> I've been away for some time (once again.) <BR> This time I have been dealing with a death in my family. My auntie passed away in a tragedic event early March & it definately shook up everything in our lives. Im still at a place of disbelief & grief. It also resurfaces the emotions from lost loved ones not too long ago. Its a serious wake up call that life isnt going to wait for me to get myself together. Just as I said before, happiness isnt going to be found. I have to just allow it i... Mon, 11 Apr 2011 03:18:46 EST -+Do You Know Your Enemy????+- http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4023913 Seems like each week in WW meetings we discuss exactly what I need to hear.. <BR> So when this week was about making your kitchen "safe" from "triggers" ...I took away soooo much. <BR> <BR> Awhile back when I tried OA and they spoke of triggers, I didn't have a clue what that meant. I loved food period. Nothing rang bells in my head like "binge! Eat it all!" <BR> Atleast that's what I thought. ... <BR> <BR> This lifestyle change I'm going thru is teaching me soooo much & helping me see w... Wed, 16 Feb 2011 22:21:15 EST x( Rewarding Mistakes )x http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4011850 Its no shock to me that STRESSED is desserts spelled backwards, because I love sweets when I'm feeling blue. Ironically in our WW meeting this week the discussion was emotional eating. I absorbed the topic but life has a way of giving u a test before u receive the lesson. ...And boy has this week been emotional!! <BR> <BR> <BR> Started off w/ me failing an important test..& of course I'm grazing on stuff ...then I thought "what am I doing!?" ...& the more stress came my way I would make a ... Sat, 12 Feb 2011 12:31:02 EST + ( Breaking these Habits )+ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3954721 <BR> <BR> So.... <BR> I have wanted to kick my bad sleep patterns for a while now. ...In the store as I'm searching for sleeping pills, this random lady says "try Melatonin" ...so I grab a bottle and tried it. .. <BR> WIDE AWAKE! <BR> <BR> Lol. Its crazy. Everyone has been saying "nyquil, benadryl" ..but I'm dependent on these drugs. I can't use something that isn't for JUST SLEEP. Its damaging to the body. <BR> <BR> Anywhoooo.. <BR> So I skipped my meeting on Thursday (weight watchers)... Mon, 24 Jan 2011 00:17:22 EST +(( I Use To Be Fat?? ))+ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3946291 Yes, I'm talking about the MTV show. <BR> I seen them all & fell in love with it after seeing Mackenzie's story. Recently I seen a post about it and it moved me to blog. (Yes, I know its late. I can't sleep!) <BR> <BR> Anywhoo..1st of all Mackenzie's story is she is going away to cosmetology (sp?) School. Her father has put in her head she won't find a man & marry until she loses weight so she has self esteem issues & is determine to lose 100lbs in 90 Days before college. <BR> Now.. Most ... Fri, 21 Jan 2011 04:25:01 EST ( Mother Natures Gift ) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3939619 Hurricanes don't hit without signs..and neither does "that thing at the end of a sentence" .....(yes, its one of those topics!) <BR> Mother Natures gift to me always comes with red flags. Flags that I never really payed attention too until now. <BR> <BR> Here I was standing on my wii fit with +4 on the screen like, "why?...I worked out. I ate...kinda healthy" ...then I sat down and smiled cuz I had an epiphany. <BR> <BR> Earlier this week, I cried during a commercial. Was instantly irrit... Wed, 19 Jan 2011 04:14:20 EST .......300....... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3926592 Today was a good day... I'm on my second week of weight watchers Points plus program. =) ...I had pizza today and I still have points left. That's why I love this "lifestyle change"!! && I've only been to 2 meetings so far but I like the atmosphere. Its a place where I can be comfortable with my desires and goals. Especially cause I decided not to 100% tell ppl around me that I am committing to a lifestyle change. (I've learned not everyone is a cheerleader & I don't need that) <BR> Anyywho... Sat, 15 Jan 2011 03:45:03 EST NEw England BlizzarD BomB, WW, & WII http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3920221 This storm was bananas. <BR> As I'm standing outside shoveling feet of snow, and the wind is blowing it everywhere. It felt like I would never finish the simple walk way leading to the house. & the very moment I made it to the end of the walk way, I look back to find that more snow has accumulated. <BR> But despite the frost bitten toes and my frizzy hair, I finished and salted. Headed to work only to have to shovel there too. Ahahaha. Amazingly I got thru it. && that sense of accomplishmen... Thu, 13 Jan 2011 04:25:50 EST This Time Baby, I'll B Bulletproof! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3916529 I'm sooo late.. but Its 2011!! <BR> <BR> I rang it in at church with the belief that change would bring more. <BR> Amazingly the sermon was about ppl not receiving their blessings in 2010 from fear & doubt as well as negativity around them (other ppl) that caused them to give up. And if I didn't already feel like those word were for me, the pastor said "the defination of insanity to do the same thing and to expect different results." ...remember I said that too. Lol. Clearly God was speaki... Wed, 12 Jan 2011 03:36:59 EST »[ Epic Fail ]« http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3872081 Okay.. so I just had the worldest biggest pitty party for about a year. <BR> <BR> After doing spark, OA, Apple cider diet, south beach, hypnosis, patches, spark, exercise, herbalife, spark, slim fast, Personal trainer, south beach, slim quick, ...all the things that continuously get me to 240 ...from 268. <BR> I hit depression like u wouldnt believe. I literally refused to go anywhere. Do anything. I have wore sweat pants for a year. I've been to doctors looking for an explaination. Becaus... Thu, 30 Dec 2010 14:51:00 EST ~Healing the Soul~ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3439162 Who knew something so simple as taking days off of work would improve my mood immensely? <BR> Lit a candle, put on some music, and listened to my thoughts. <BR> My thoughts became fulfilling. <BR> <BR> Food for Thought! <BR> <BR> Could I be feeding my SOUL instead of my stomach. <BR> <BR> Could this be the very thing thats been starving. Starving for love and attention. ...grasping in obsessions, men, FOOD, and addictions. <BR> <BR> ....For the LOVE of GOD... I hope this is my Ah-HA ... Fri, 16 Jul 2010 17:14:39 EST Beautiful Disaster... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3424635 Right where I started... <BR> <BR> not only have I gained weight but I weigh what&#65321;did at my highest. <BR> My car died so I am at square one. (did mention I only had it for 8months & its my 1st car) <BR> Recently had a death in my family (my 15yr old cousin drowned) <BR> And I'm stuck at a dead end job with a degree that I'm not using. <BR> <BR> Can you believe I got mad when my doctor suggested therapy? I went in for the blood work results. I didnt wanna hear that shii. ...Took me s... Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:00:45 EST A FLicker can Bec0me a FLAME http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2889371 I sat here for 20minutes trying to the words explain how alive I feel. Just how FAR I've come. <BR> but WORDS fall short to really describe it. <BR> <BR> I swear I did a 360 in a matter of months. I guess when you fall over and over and over, it ignites a determination to conquer all the demons in your path. <BR> I know what it means to REALLY be happy now! <BR> To love yourself. <BR> to Let go <BR> Change for the better and leave my baggage at the altar. <BR> My life consist of family... Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:02:41 EST x- REHAB -x (Warning: Touchy Subjects) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2476554 "I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears <BR> And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave <BR> Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone <BR> ..These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real <BR> There's just too much that time cannot erase".... -"My Immortal"-Evanescence <BR> <BR> Didn't know the right way to start out so I figured a song capturing my mood would do. <BR> <BR> Currently I've dealt with minor setbacks..... Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:25:47 EST xox{ I kn0w I'm beautiful!!! }xox http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2265395 ::VICTORY DANCE::: <BR> <BR> I lost 16lbs... Oh yeah BABY!!! (Didn't update on SP yet!) ...But I am on a roll. I am once again on the SOUTH BEACH diet. && I love it! <BR> I already feel so much more happier and I'm excited to see how much I can accomplish. I finally completed a list of rewards (as I lose) and it definitely motivates me to want it more. <BR> <BR> So0o.. Moving along. This week-end was A-MAZING! Originally I had planned to hang out with a few friends but coincidentally the... Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:43:21 EST Old habits never die hard... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2212996 S0o, I here I am right back where I started.. <BR> <BR> From my indecisive nature being a Libra.. Inside I felt like nothing is going to work. If I don't get the results I want immediately, I doubt myself, other people, and life... <BR> So it wasn't a surprise that after just 2 days on here I had stopped logging in and found myself on the couch eating a carton of Ben & Jerry's. After a few days of binge eating, yesterday I took and vitamin and threw up everywhere. At that moment I thought.... Wed, 8 Jul 2009 14:30:40 EST