JAL4828's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=JAL4828 JAL4828's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ YIKES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713533 SO, I read back to the last blog entry I made and where I was just over a year ago. So much has changed since then! My brother in law passed away of a major heart attack on 5/13/13. It turned our worlds upside down! I completely fell into a depression unlike anything I have felt, and along with that came pounds and illness, and pain and tiredness.... <BR> I really want to continue to write this, but it's not feeling liek the right time....I will be back. Sun, 8 Jun 2014 16:09:23 EST Well, well, well http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5343700 SO I did the Optifast for three weeks and lost 17 pounds. It did jump start body, brain and energy again. I have had to stop because my insurance is changing and I can not swing the added cost of the provider visits. It was quite an experience...I missed food so much- but I think it has reset my way of thinking again and I have now started to transition onto some slimfast/special K protein items, along with no white breads at all and minimal carbs. I will see how this goes. I am tracking agai... Thu, 2 May 2013 21:30:33 EST A more aggressive weight loss program http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5321283 Tomorrow I take a new leap into weight loss...starting a medically monitored program- Optifast. Many people will criticize, many people won't understand, and I really don't know how hard it is going to be...but I need a change unlike no other that will give me the motivation to move forward. I have had a mental block when the weight started coming back on...I have to move past this and I need this help right now. I am starting some exciting new career directions and this is the easiest way to... Fri, 12 Apr 2013 22:16:56 EST Whole lot of talk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5018169 So, I found out yesterday (even though i guess I knew it all along) that I can not run on my knee. For now, walking for exercise is even a no go- until I can get it calmed down and strengthened around it. This is really hard for me, because I know how running used to make me feel and what it did for my body. I don't know why I am so resistant to trying other things...right now it just seems hard to do. I am going to try to be on here as much as I can, and a good freind of mine is a Beachbody ... Thu, 16 Aug 2012 13:49:51 EST Lifted from Coach Nancy's Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4968493 "As Coach John told me last spring..."Soreness is just your body's map of moving to a higher level of adaptation" <BR> <BR> I have to keep reading these things- because I sort of feel like I live in a constant state of soreness <em>33</em> Fri, 13 Jul 2012 10:24:14 EST YUCK! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4968438 OMG Yesterday was an evil food day : ( <BR> One thing I realized though, is that it was just one day- and that the last 18 months have had far too many of those "just one days." I made the choice to track it all- and be 100% stright with myself. That is really what has to happen now! <BR> <BR> BUT- that can NOT happen again- anytime soon! <BR> Got up and did ten minute trainer today. Total body and half the abs workout. That kills me. I struggle with the side plank moves. I am not strong ... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 09:53:50 EST July 12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4967437 So, yesterday I started the Ten minute trainer again. It really gets my goat that I used to be able to easily do 15 FULL pushups and now ten on my knees is a feat. I will use that as my guide though. I think push ups are going to be my everyday go to- as many as I can, every day...with everything else in between. Going to get back out walking/running again tonight and then have the C25k Ready to Run program Saturday again. <BR> I feel better - I need to remember this. Doing a little campign ... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 15:39:53 EST Jeepers creepers... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4963877 Ok- so I say to myself, "why is this so hard?" "you know what to do" "why did you let this happen?" and then i realize...all those thoughts aren't going to make it happen now! <BR> Today I start blogging and logging again. <BR> <BR> I got out of bed at 5, and walked 2 miles (little jog once and a while) <BR> I had my shakelolgy for breakfast. <BR> I had a salad for lunch. <BR> Next step- running group after work to keep my ass (excuse my language) out of the kitchen. I have a little bre... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:31:41 EST Gotta fess up... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4874148 I have been "off the wagon" for about 8 months now. i feel like I ma lying to the world about things, as i get the kind words on my page. i feel like I want to eat all the time. <BR> <BR> I just finished school- should get my degree in the mail in the next couple weeks. I can not believe it is done.... <BR> On the other hand I have gained back about 25 pounds and feel like a slug : ( I have no energy, no ambition, no <BR> <BR> I am starting a couch to 5 K plan on the 8th of May, through w... Wed, 9 May 2012 14:46:12 EST Stress characteristics- from a Spark article. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4674795 How many of these qualities do you exhibit? <BR> <BR> <BR> 1.Over-planning each day. Do you feel the need to stick to a strict schedule? Do you live in fear of falling behind or overlooking a task? <BR> <BR> 2.Doing several things at once. With too much to do and not enough time, it’s easy to think that “efficient” means doing everything at once. He who chases two rabbits catches neither. <BR> <BR> 3.Extreme need to win. Do you feel like a failure if you don’t come out on top—even... Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:51:08 EST C25K http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4671937 Last time I started running, I just did a little jogging in my walk program- this pole to that pole, then this street corner to that street corner. This time I decided to try a program. I didn't mind it- and I know that I can do more than what the week 1 offers- but it will help me stay focused on a program that will build a foundation and hopefully work my knee back into things. <BR> I have been logging food and exercise. Tonight I am going to a little gathering at mom's. Might have goodie... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:39:50 EST Fresh Start http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4666762 Done feeling full, bloated and wearing bigger clothes. Done losing my grip because I am stressed and have no energy. I am going to find it again and I think this is the place to start. I just found a feature on here that allowed me to reset all my goals and reset my tickers, etc. I think this was very important- because This is different this time. It's time for a new start. I have been reading about not having an all or nothing attitude- I am working on finding the middle- BALANCE! I don't ... Sun, 8 Jan 2012 18:15:23 EST Progress? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4587743 Been a busy week really. I have done pushup everyday, 10 is about what I can get out without falling on my nose....I went walking Sunday. Monday I didn't get out- they are tough. Yesterday I went to a yoga class and had a great time. I am kind of sore today- found muscles I forgot I had- but it's all about awareness. <em>20</em> <BR> Today I got back on the treadmill, it was pretty late before everything settled down. It felt ok. It was hard because the last time I was on there- I could run... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 21:13:17 EST Saturday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4581467 Walked a little, jogged a little, logged my food and my fitness. All in all- not a bad day. Sat, 12 Nov 2011 21:55:38 EST Random thoughts- putting it out there.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4579198 <em>232</em> <BR> <BR> So, I am up about 20 pounds from my lowest weight in 2008. What got me to that lowest point was running. Running isn't working anymore- too much knee pain generally. I miss it so much that when I see someone out in the sunshine running- I want to scream "WAIT FOR ME!" RIght now I am fighting some kind of respiratory illness. Maybe I really do have asthma? <BR> I haven't really exercised in about a month- maybe even 6 weeks. A few walks last week...weight a couple ti... Fri, 11 Nov 2011 09:20:01 EST OK- what is it about fall? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4577050 I just read back through my blogs. For this time of year- EVERY year, I struggle. What the heck is the deal and why can't I move past it! I need to do some serious invesitagtion and dig deep on this- I can't keep on this roller coaster! Wed, 9 Nov 2011 21:19:32 EST Touching base and finding it really inspirational!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4361069 I have been milling around the site today and have found out AGAIN why I have always been a Sparkpeople fan. I spend so much time talking to people about how I lost weight and they never believe me when I tell them it was this site. The people here get it, they believe!!! <BR> I am still healing. The leg pain has not resolved to the point where I can do much running. My inner self and I are struggling to give it up and commit to swimming or biking. Running was always my out- it was my way to... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:42:27 EST Oh Bother! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4224089 Haven't blogged in so long. I even tracked my food today and am typing now, to prevent a trip to the kitchen. <BR> So, I had an arthroscopy on my knee to figure out the source of the pain when running. Turns out I have arthritis and they removed some other crud- which should help relieve some of the discomfort. This has put an intense spin on things- because this is the longest I have gone without focused exercise in over 2 years. I know that it shouldn't be a big deal, lots of people have i... Tue, 10 May 2011 21:31:47 EST Reflection http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3907724 Every now and then I get a comment from someone just starting their journey. They are uncomfortable going to the gym, they don't know where to start, they don't know how often to weigh in or how to log food and exercise. I have just one thing to say- Take a look around here, because so many people are doing it. Someone's story will speak to you, somone feels just like you- right now! As I learn about many things in my undergrad program, I recognize the need to share our stories, the good and ... Sun, 9 Jan 2011 19:46:19 EST 5K! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3840340 <link>vimeo.com/17723240 </link> <BR> <BR> My son's first 5K! His friend, my friend, he and I..bottom right at about 2:05 min. It was a lot of fun, looking forward to next year! Sun, 12 Dec 2010 22:08:14 EST new day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3786355 This past week had been quite a week! I started college again in an accelerated BSN program. <em>149</em> <BR> <BR> I should be done in about 15 months. This poses many challenges, because it will occupy a big portion of my time. I am committed to maintaining my wellness though. I just need to keep things in check, keep exercising and keep talking about it. <BR> I got my mileage back up again, to where I am comfortable for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. It is a 4.4 mile race. I am runn... Mon, 15 Nov 2010 20:48:58 EST Still here... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3758005 Time is so precious and I have finally discovered, after 3 years now, that if I stop thinking about it so hard and do what I need to do, I am actually more successful. I have spent so much time stressing over running enough, working out enough, eating right, taking care of the family, doing my job well...that I don't let my instincts kick in and do what they know to do. I joined the gym again and started weights, and that kicked my metabolism up again, then I eat better, then my job is easier... Tue, 2 Nov 2010 21:26:53 EST Heat wave! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3406917 Wow, it is really hot here this week! I tried to get out late last evening for a walk. I did the 2 mile block I usually do, it was like walking uphill the whole way. I love sun, and warmth- but this humidity is crazy! Had a great holiday weekend with friends and family! Camping is a lot of work, but it was worth it. Making plans for Myrtle Beach in August. I need to get off a few more pounds for the beach! <BR> I have been working on running some, biking, free weights and strength. Nothing t... Wed, 7 Jul 2010 09:24:14 EST Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3307459 I guess I really got myself geared up the beginning of April. I have lost between 8-10 pounds of the weight I gained over the winter. I keep going up and down a little between 2-3 pounds. I would liek to get back down the remaining 8, and then maybe get further. I have managed to get back into doing something at least 4 days of the week. I need to work really hard at remembering to do SOMETHING each day, and it does not have to be an hours worth. I get so hung up on "is it worth it" sometime... Sun, 6 Jun 2010 21:51:47 EST Couple weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3179598 It's been a rough couple weeks. I ended up with strep throat, and my son broke his ankle. None of which is any fun, I can tell you. <BR> I have however found the "Spark" again. The nice weather is inspiring me to run again. I have some things going on with my left knee, and will see a doc on Monday for that. It is the weirdest pain that comes and goes, doesn't care for impact like running- but hurts the most at night when I try to lay down and straighten it out, inner aspect of front of knee... Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:20:12 EST Good start.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3130326 I spent a while this morning, reading through my old blogs, from back when i was 100# heavier and no where near as knowledgeable about me, as I am today. It really helped get me back around to where I think I need to be in order to get on the track, and stay on. I know that there are significant trends in my blogs as it relates to PMS, winter(grey, cloudy weather), and stress. Those are my triggers to gain weight. These three things bring me down. I also know that if I exercise, those things... Sat, 17 Apr 2010 16:07:07 EST Here I go again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2867694 3 days of logging and within my calorie range, 2 days of working out, and 3 days of conscious food choices that have been good ones. I have been so off the mark lately. I know that people think I am just thinking things, but I know that Depo is moving out of my system. It took a fine trial and error period with other hormones and it has taken about 15 gained pounds to realize that this is just something I have to do...everyday, every week, every minute. <BR> Out of town on business this week... Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:24:23 EST Worried!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2693343 OK- so there are a million excuses I can make, many things I can not change, many thigns I can...but I am seriously owrried about how to stop this cycle? How do i stop the madness. Is it seasonal affective disorder, is it something wrong with a personal relationship, is it too much stress? Why am I starting to spiral again, and have gained back about 15 pounds. I KNOW my hormones are out of whack, I KNOW my body is trying to tell me that it isn't feeling right...that it needs me to go back to... Mon, 4 Jan 2010 18:02:37 EST What is a girl to do. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2569816 OK, so tried new birth control- UGH! Had the flu- crap! Lost my fitness drive- YUCK! All the while I struggle with this, gained about 7 pounds, I still can't find the balance that fits in my life. It seems to be all or nothing with me. I am either gung ho fitness and then eat right in result, or can't get there and find the eating right does and doesn't work. Many permanent changes have occurred- eating whole grains, veggies, fruits, nuts, low fat, lean meats, etc...But there are those momen... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:04:41 EST Still trying to sustain the change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2349113 Every day in my job I am trying to make positive changes for our patients and residents and make it stick. Life seems to be challeneging me in every aspect lately. Nothing seems to stick ANYWHERE, except my waistline! <BR> I have to stay on here more, I know it will help. I need to log more, that is a proven fact. <BR> I am going to go try to run now...enough talk! Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:04:19 EST What is it about this I can't figure out.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2301188 Ok, So there has been a definite struggle since I made the awful choice to try depo as a form of brith control. Knowing that my weight loss would increase our chances of getting pregnant- I knew that I needed to do something that would be easy and not something I would forget. The doc told me I would have some side effects- but there was NO MENTION of how severe they were going to be. I like to think, that as a nurse, I am pretty educated. I read the side effects and I- like all human being... Sun, 9 Aug 2009 20:23:27 EST yahoo http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2121097 Well, I found it again. I have been struggling for almost a month to have a really good feeling about my running. I have done some runs- been working on the strength training more...I think today something clicked because my 4 miles felt great. Then I see it is National Running Day! <BR> I am headed out of town on business for 6 days and am very worried about keeping things even- we'll see! Wed, 3 Jun 2009 21:32:56 EST OK http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2094725 So I spent the last, about 5 days- not exercising with intention, but exercising to have fun. It was a challenge to fight the guilt of not running for an hour, or not riding for an hour....but I needed a break. I found myself hating it last week. I enjoyed a weekend of camping with the family, and enjoyed some foods that I don't usually allow myself- but knowing I can manage it ok...- but the key word is enjoyed....I left the guilt and the yucky feelings at home and went away. It felt great ... Tue, 26 May 2009 13:57:27 EST Seriously? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2073546 Ok, this past few days has really stunk. Went for a run Friday eve and it was all I could do to get my butt around my 5 mile route. I was so frusturated and I guess that set the tone for the weekend- because it didn't get any better. I am hoping the weather improving will help me this week. I got out a little bit tonight, walked with my sister, jogged about a mile or so to catch up with her...It felt ok once I got going. I am fearful that I was pushing too mcu- putting too much pressure on my... Mon, 18 May 2009 21:17:01 EST Crazy! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2053879 May is well under way. May and June have to be my most favorite months of the year. I got my new bike from my husband and my boys for Mother's Day, and a new pair of running shoes. Short of a little tune up to my bike (it is used) I am ready for the good weather. I am really going to try to ride bike early am's. Maybe if I start there- I can get my butt out running in the am's too. I have been running in the PM and I have noticed tonight that I have all this energy now and it is time to be s... Mon, 11 May 2009 20:58:17 EST First, EVER, 5K! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2005234 Well, I finished it! WOW! I am so glad I never bothered to check the course before I went- at least 4 good sized hills. I think my time was between 32:20-32:30. The official times haven't been posted- the computer died : ( I never even looked up when I came across, and missed the clock until I had been done a few seconds. <BR> It was pretty warm for here, in April. I was HOT! I think it had to have been about 75-80 when we started out. I wasn't sure I loved it while I was doing it- I just di... Sat, 25 Apr 2009 13:39:30 EST Sore, but content http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1964555 I had a great workout today. Did some walking to warm up and ran some as well. All in all I probably ran about 3.5 of my 5 mile route. It was cold and windy. The reagt thing was that I did not do it alone today. Julie came to my house and went out with me. She is an experinced runner and a PT to boot...She was extremely patient and helped my confidence a lot. Next week we are headed out her way. I am hoping for warmer weather. I am so not an early morning runner. My performance is better afte... Sat, 11 Apr 2009 23:00:24 EST Relieved http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1956222 Well, after my run on Sundy, my rt knee decided to gove me some grief and that was of great concern to me. I had been working on some stretches given to me by a PT and just wasn't prepared to feel as lousy as I did Monday and Tuesday. I also had done a pretty good strength training workout Saturday which may have been some of the soreness, although not on the knees. When I couldn't sleep Monday night- I decided to see a doc. He sent me to teh ortho, whom was able to get me in today. He gave m... Wed, 8 Apr 2009 20:42:37 EST satisfied http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1943590 I got to the gym today- spent some quality time. I ran for about 30 minutes, 11 min mile. The lower extrememties did ok, my right knee let me know when it had enough. I am working on the stretched that have been recommended by "my PT" and I am seeing some relief in thsoe areas. Now there are some other areas I need to talk to her about. I hope to get out tomorrow for a long run- looking for 5mi. There is supposed o be more sun, a little warmer. 50 is perfect for running! I did some strength t... Sat, 4 Apr 2009 22:23:04 EST Happy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1934875 I saw a PT today, and one that runs no less...and she helped me a ton! After her eval- I have now been deemed extremely "inflexible" This pain in my right hip/butt is likely a piriformis muscle issue and explains the knot I have been sitting on off and on for the last year. It is also on the left side. The knee is just trying to compensate for the extremely tight quads, hamstrings and all the other parts, LOL. My IT bands need a lot fo work too- and that is not an easy tendon to work from wha... Wed, 1 Apr 2009 21:15:26 EST Worried http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1924404 Ok, been really enjoying running and got back out again Friday night. I really tried to keep a decent pace that wasn't too difficlut. I had to walk up half of a huge hill, but went right back to my pace of about 12.5 min mile. I did 4 miles before I decided I better give it a break. I did have a cramp a little bit before I stopped, right thigh- took a stretch break and it went away. The next day- my right knee has some swelling, my thigh is tired and achy and my hip has an ache that comes and... Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:41:24 EST Running http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1900831 I accomplished my fastest mile last week, 9:30. I was very happy to hear Lance Armstrong tell me so on my Nike+. That was on the treadmill. I have been getting outside at least 2 times a week again, and have done a bunch of shoveling and raking gravel this week. It feels good to have the sun out more often and get outside again. The good days are getting more frequent and I look forward to keeping up the running and increasing my endurance and pace. Sat, 21 Mar 2009 22:25:57 EST 2/09 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1769779 I know that things have been kind of crazy lately and I know that I haven't been at the top of my game. What I have noticed is now that I realized it- and have recommitted to me-It all falls into place better. It isn't always good- trust me...but now that I am watching my cals again- watching my choices, taking my vitamins and EXERCISING....life is easier. The thigns that stressed me, aren't so bad- the muscles that hurt, don't - the tired crappy feeling goes away.... <BR> <BR> Just keep it ... Wed, 4 Feb 2009 13:36:01 EST Finding my way back! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1695886 WOW, I only post when things are good, and when things are bad...there really is an in between, lol. I have been back to the Y 4-5 times in the past couple weeks, Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred kicks my butt on my off days and my body is feeling tighter, leaner. The weight isn't going anywhere- but feeling more muscles has given me the incentive to increase the cardio again. I am floundering about my goals. A wise woman on here- MVMEME- told me once, "it is amazing how we feel when we have a ... Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:49:55 EST Not feeling it? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1665368 That was the title of my sister's blog. The good news is- you can feel it! I actually feel my muscles tightening- abs, biceps, quads...it is so wierd! I got on the treadmill today (amazing how many people come back to the gym after New year's) and did a couple miles. It felt good to run! I was so worried that I had lost that ability- that I wouldn't be able to find it again. But...it's in there! I allowed myself to start back slow- walking a few days last week with a jog here and there and t... Tue, 6 Jan 2009 19:24:41 EST One week later... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1634184 This has been a whirlwind of a week! Christmas was great, but not to my waist line. It was nice to focu on everything else other than me and my diet and exercise for a while...but now I am paying the price! <BR> I am focusing on trying to get back in action. I have done something every day for the past three now...I am learning yoga thanks to my Wii fitness trainer. I am trying to run again- but pulled a quad muscle and am very sore with that much impact...walking fast is ok...so that is th... Tue, 30 Dec 2008 20:19:07 EST The spiral continues...the other shoe. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1621734 I go through life and make good choices, and then I come to a point where I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. Life has been, at best, stressful lately, with travel for work, and the holidays, and a pretty extensive illness in the family. I have not been making time for me, and food has been a source of comfort for me- AGAIN! I am angry with myself- and I am trying to move past it. I have gained about 4 pounds, and I relaize in the scheme of things- that isn't oo huge. But...I almost can'... Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:34:50 EST Well, you know, it isn't just about the food. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1579546 You would think after about 16 months of this, I would figure it out, right? Here I am eating foods I know I shoudln't, portions I know are not safe, and feeling crappy about it. I got stuck in the spiral, and didn't make it to exercise. I knew I needed it, and told myself for a week- I will get there tomorrow. Tomorrow came a week later, and It clicked more this time than in the past. I am in need of fitness! The balance comes when I pay attention to both, even if not just the right way. Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:15:39 EST Emotional Eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1573589 I recently joined the Emotional Eating team, and BOY do I need it right now. Life has definitely thrown us a couple of whammies around here. Last night I ate 6 chocolate chip cookies. (And they are calling me now...) It is so easy to slip back in. I haven't "had the time" to get to the gym, it is really snowy out- so no running right now, we don't have sidewalks here. The reality is I can't leave my family right now. I have to be close to them- and I know...I have to take care of myself...but... Wed, 19 Nov 2008 10:51:20 EST 11/11/08 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1561083 Veteran's Day! I think of all the men and women that have scarified so much for our country. I think of the loss and the gains. That is what I have been thinking about a lot- gains and losses. I thank them for their dedication to our freedom! <BR> Ok, so i have been putzing around here for over a month now, trying to make excuses, or whatever the case may be. It hasn't gotten me anywhere. I had a talk with a couple of very wise women last evening and I think it opened my eyes to a few things... Tue, 11 Nov 2008 19:14:14 EST