INSPIRATIONAL3's SparkPeople Blog INSPIRATIONAL3's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community MAKE TO FOCUS I AM IN A PLACE OF SURRENDER. I HAVE HAD TO LAY DOWN ALL I WAS DOING TO CARE FOR SICK MOTHER. IT HAS BEEN DIFFICULT TO DO BUT NOW THAT I HAVE RESIGNED MYSELF THAT SHE IS A PRIORITY IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW I AM REALIZING HOW IMPORTANT A PART OF MY LIFE'S JOURNEY IT IS. <BR> <BR> WATCHING HER COURAGE IN HER SUFFERING, RELFECTING ON HER PRODUCTIVE INSPIRATIONAL LIFE OF ACHIEVEMENTS BIG AND SMALL ARE HELPING ME REALIZE <BR> SO MUCH. <BR> <BR> THERE IS NO ROAD MAP TO HELP US NAVIGATE OUR OLDER YE... Sun, 29 Nov 2015 09:56:24 EST LESSON FOR TODAY - STOP TO REGROUP, DECLUTTER AND ORGANIZE FINDING OUT MUCH OF MY STRESS COMES FROM TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH RUNNING AROUND AND TAKING ON LARGE PROJECTS THAT ARE OVERWHELMING. <BR> <BR> I NEED TO SIT BACK AND REASSESS WHAT IS IMPORTANT ALL THESE THINGS OR MY SANITY AND HEALTH. TAKING TIME TO MAKE A BETTER PLAN TO HELP MYSELF <BR> <BR> GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OBSTACLES TODAY MY SPARK FRIENDS Wed, 26 Aug 2015 11:18:57 EST LESSON TO PUT EVERYTHING IN WRITING FOR WORKMEN DESPITE THE PROTESTS OF WORKMEN THAT THEY DON'T PUT THINGS IN WRITING I MUST SAY IT IS BETTER OFF NOT DEALING WITH THEM. <BR> <BR> MADE A VERBAL CONTRACT WITH WORKMAN TO PAINT MY DECK.....1. HE WAS PAINTING IT THE WRONG COLOR AND REFUSED TO CHANGE THE PAINT 2. IS TRYING TO NOT PAINT THE TRELLIS ON THE UNDERSIDE OF THE DECK WHICH ALL CAN SEE FROM STREET AND BACKYARD. MAKES NO SENSE BUT HOW COULD I PROVE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THE WHOLE THING IN COURT IF HE WALKS AWAY. <BR> <BR> UNNECESSARY S... Sat, 18 Jul 2015 12:13:21 EST DO WE WASTE TIME GETTING UPSET WHEN THINGS DON'T GO OUR WAY? WELL THIS WEEK HAS BEEN FRUSTRATING, WITH PEOPLE COMING FROM OUT OF TOWN NEXT WEEK I PLANNED MANY THINGS TO BE DONE BEFORE THEN AS OF TODAY MOST ALL OF THEM UNDONE SINCE PEOPLE MAKE COMMITMENTS AND DON'T FOLLOW THROUGH. <BR> <BR> SO AS A RESULT I WAS TOTALLY DEPRESSED YESTERDAY WHICH I KNOW I CANNOT BRING INTO TODAY SINCE IT LEADS ME TO SORT OF GIVE UP AND NOT BE AS PRODUCTIVE SO I STARTED TO THINK......ARE THESE THINGS SO IMPORTANT THAT I SHOULD ALLOW THEM TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY? <BR> <B... Fri, 17 Jul 2015 10:23:44 EST I CAN ONLY TAKE ONE HOUR OR ONE DAY AT A TIME FIGHTING THE CHALLENGE OF BEING OVERWHELMED PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. <BR> <BR> BATTLING TO HELP TAKE CARE OF MY 91 YEAR OLD MOTHER WITH BAD HEART VALVE ISSUE AND ANEMIA WITH DIGNITY AND LOVE RATHER THAN THE PAIN AND FRUSTRATION I FEEL. <BR> <BR> JUST LEARNED YESTERDAY HER ANEMIA HAS TURNED TO MULTIPLE MYELOMA (BLOOD CANCER) I AM STILL IN AWE AND SHOCK AND PRAY HARDER NOW TO BE STRONGER TO BE THERE FOR HER AND ABLE TO WITHSTAND IT MYSELF. <BR> <BR> EACH DAY IS AN ADVENTURE AND LIFE DEALS... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 13:00:51 EST EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED TODAY I HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHAT LIFE THROWS AT ME WITH GRACE, DIGNITY AND A GOOD FOOD DAY. <BR> <BR> IN THE PAST I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO EAT SINCE THERE WAS NO TIME FOR ME, OFTEN NO FOOD READY THAT WAS HEALTHY AND APPROPRIATE FOR MY DIET. <BR> <BR> MY DAY WAS ALL PLANNED TO CATCH UP ON SO MANY THINGS AND 1) MOM IS BACK IN EMERGENCY ROOM AND GOING TO BE ADMITTED FOR BLOOD SHE IS NOT PRODUCING TO KEEP HER ALIVE 2) WORKMEN WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO COME 10 AM DID NOT NOR DID HE CALL. MY PRIORITY... Mon, 13 Jul 2015 14:10:06 EST TRACKING BEFORE EATING THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL TRY TO DO THIS COMING WEEK. <BR> SINCE I AM NOT MEASURING PORTIONS TO MANY TIMES I SEE WHERE I ATE MORE THAN I SHOULD <BR> <BR> ALSO WHEN I CHEAT ON SOMETHING THAT IS NOT GOOD FOR ME I SEEM TO GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO BE BAD ALL DAY...BAD MOVE...ANOTHER CASE OF SELF SABATAGE...WILL HAVE TO WORK ON THE BAD HABITS I HAVE PERFECTED OVER THE YEARS AND ERASE THEM <BR> <BR> WELL BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARDS. Sat, 11 Jul 2015 10:17:56 EST TRACKING BEFORE EATING THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL TRY TO DO THIS COMING WEEK. <BR> SINCE I AM NOT MEASURING PORTIONS TO MANY TIMES I SEE WHERE I AT MORE THAN I SHOULD <BR> <BR> ALSO WHEN I CHEAT ON SOMETHING THAT IS NOT GOOD FOR ME I SEEM TO GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO BE BAD ALL DAY...BAD MOVE...ANOTHER CASE OF SELF SABATAGE...WILL HAVE TO WORK ON THE BAD HABITS I HAVE PERFECTED OVER THE YEARS AND ERASE THEM <BR> <BR> WELL BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARDS. Sat, 11 Jul 2015 10:17:56 EST LETTING THE SCALE AFFECT MY MOOD TODAY I HAVE TO LET GO OF THE NUMBERS ON THE SCALE SINCE I WEIGH IN EVERY DAY. <BR> <BR> THE UP SIDE IS IT HELPS ME BE MORE AWARE AND I DO TRY TO DO BETTER THE DOWNSIDE IS THAT WHEN I DRINK MORE LIQUIDS OR EAT CHINESE FOOD CONTAINING A LOT OF SALT IT GOES UP QUICKLY. <BR> <BR> INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING ON THE NUMBERS I AM LEARNING TO USE IT AS A REGULATOR AND AN INDICATION OF HOW MY BODY WORKS ON A DAILY BASIS....SO I AM GOOD WITH THAT...NO MORE HEAD TRIPS...LOL Tue, 7 Jul 2015 10:23:49 EST WRITING YOUR FOOD EACH DAY JUST STARTED TRACKING THE FOOD I EAT EACH DAY. <BR> <BR> CANNOT BELIEVE HOW REALITY AND MY MIND ARE NOT IN CONNECTION WHEN IT COMES TO MY DIET. <BR> <BR> REALLY HELPING ME GET BACK INTO AN AWARENESS THAT HAS BEEN MISSING LATELY. <BR> <BR> THE CHANGES ARE NOT COMING QUICKLY BUT WILL EVENTUALLY. MORE THAN THE PORTIONS SEEING HOW MY RATIO OF FAT IS HIGHER THAN OTHER THINGS HAS REALLY CAUSED ME TO OPEN MY EYES WIDE TO WHAT I DO WITHOUT REALIZING IT. <BR> <BR> WORKING ON MAKING THE CHANGES SL... Sun, 5 Jul 2015 12:00:07 EST THE CHALLENGE OF CONSISTENCY JULY 1, 2015 <BR> <BR> THIS MONTH MY GOAL IS TO BE CONSISTENT REGARDING MY HEALTH CONCERNS. <BR> <BR> I NO LONGER AM HAPPY WITH MY ON AND OFF WAY OF DEALING WITH MY HEALTH.....I AM SO SICK OF WORKING SO HARD TO MOVE FORWARD TO A HEALTHIER PLACE THAN ALLOWING LIFE'S CHALLENGES TO SET ME BACK. THIS MONTH I AM GOING TO SEARCH FOR WAYS TO PREVENT ADVERSITY FROM UNDOING ALL THE WORK I PUT INTO GETTING WELL. <BR> <BR> IF I CAN SUCCEED AT THIS JUST THINK HOW COPING WITH ANYTHING LIFE THROWS ME W... Thu, 2 Jul 2015 11:02:26 EST CLIMBING UPHILL EACH DAY SINCE THE LOSS OF MY HUSBAND AND NOW TAKING CARE OF MOM WHO HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED MAYBE 2 MORE YEARS TO LIVE IT ALL SEEMS LIKE AN UPHILL BATTLE. <BR> <BR> I AM MAKING AN EFFORT TO COUNT MY BLESSINGS EACH DAY AND PRAY FOR MORE CONSISTENCY AND RETURN OF MY HEALTH SO I CAN MOVE ON TO KNOW CLEARLY MY DIVINE PURPOSE AND FULFILL IT. <BR> <BR> I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY BELIEF IN A HIGHER POWER THAT SUSTAINS ME THROUGH ALL THE ADVERSITY AND I AM PRAYING THAT I REMAIN POSITIVE EACH AND EVERY DAY TO COME BAC... Sat, 27 Jun 2015 13:39:18 EST COMING BACK TO SPARK FRIENDS AFTER HUSBAND'S DEATH LAST YEAR WAS A DIFFICULT JOURNEY. WATCHING SOMEONE YOU LOVE FOR 25 YEARS DISAPPEAR SLOWLY EACH DAY WITH PAIN AND SUFFERING WAS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER FORGET. EVEN THIS YEAR I AM NOW, ALONG WITH MY SISTER TAKING CARE OF MY 90 YEAR OLD MOTHER WHO WE HOPE DOES NOT LEAVE US SOON. <BR> <BR> LIFE GIVES US NO WARNING MANY TIMES. I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY THAT EACH MOMENT IS SO PRECIOUS AND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO SEE THE GLASS HALF FULL INSTEAD OF HALF EMPTY. EVEN THOUGH I DON'T FEEL I AM IN ... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 17:23:18 EST WORKING TO PUT SPRING BACK INTO MY HEART PRIORITIZING MY HEALTH OVER ALL THAT LIFE THROWS AT ME IS STILL AN OVERWHELMING CHALLENGE. <BR> <BR> ANOTHER TRIP TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM THIS WEEK AND HOSPITAL VISITS WITH UNCERTAINTY WITH MY DH HEALTH PUTTING MY HEALTH FIRST FOR MYSELF AND FOR HIM IS STILL DIFFICULT. I ALLOW MY FEARS AND ANXIETY TAKE OVER AND THE FOOD CREEPS IN TO COMFORT ME. <BR> <BR> I HAVE MADE SOME EFFORT THIS PAST MONTH TO CLENSE MY SOUL AND BODY BUT NEED MORE OF A MAJOR EFFORT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. THE SNOW MELTING,... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 11:45:08 EST LESS TALK MORE ACTION FEBRUARY 22, 2014 <BR> <BR> TRYING TO GET OUT OF WINTER SLUMP AND AFTERMATH OF PERSONAL TRAUMAS HERE AT HOME. <BR> <BR> REMEMBERING THAT NO ONE WHEN THEY SEE OUR SIZE CONSIDERS ALL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND HOW TOUGH IT IS. ALL THEY SEE IS SOMEONE WHO HAS NOT TAKEN CARE OF THEMSELVES...... I AM CHALLENGED TO LOSE THE WEIGHT AND SHOW THOSE PEOPLE AS WELL AS MYSELF THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER USE MY WEIGHT AGAINST ME AND I AM WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. <BR> <BR> WHE... Sat, 22 Feb 2014 13:04:42 EST STARTING OVER SOMETIMES NEW YEAR'S EVE IS SAD. THIS ONE I AM MAKING GLAD SINCE I NEED TO HAVE A FRESH START IN MY LIFE AND ALTHOUGH JANUARY STARTED ROCKY I AM DETERMINED TO MAKE THIS A LANDMARK YEAR FOR ME IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION. <BR> <BR> I AM PREPARED TO WORK AT BRINGING THE JOY AND HEALTH BACK TO MY LIFE RATHER THAN PUTTING ENERGY INTO PEOPLE, ISSUES, HOUSES, ETC.......OF COURSE THOSE THINGS STILL MATTER TO ME BUT MY PRIORITIES NEED TO BE PUT INTO ORDER. <BR> <BR> I BLESS THIS SITE. WITHOUT THIS... Tue, 28 Jan 2014 13:20:25 EST DIFFICULT DECISIONS DUE TO A HEALTH EMERGENCY I HAD TO MAKE SOME DIFFICULT DECISIONS THIS WEEK. <BR> <BR> I HAVE TO REALIZE WHAT MY PRIORITES ARE...MY HEALTH...AND REALIZE I CANNOT TAKE ON MORE THINGS IN LIFE THAN I CAN HANDLE SO I MUST GIVE UP WHAT IS ENDANGERING MY HEALTH AND OVERWHELMING ME. <BR> <BR> I NEED TO FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT IF I DON'T MAKE ME THE FULL TIME JOB THAT I AM I WILL NOT LIVE TO HAVE ANYTHING ELSE. SO FOR TODAY I WILL HANDLE THE HEALTH AND LIFE ISSUES ON MY PLACE WITH 100% COMMITTMENT... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:06:10 EST ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF SOUTH BEACH Dearest Spark Friends, <BR> <BR> This has been a crazy week for me seeing I have these three people living in my body at the same, not so funny. <BR> <BR> Like the old movie starring Joanne Woodward "The Three Faces of Eve" I watched the part of me with all this good info from spark and gathered through my life guide me through the diet do's and don't. <em>58</em> The attentive one of me followed through, shopping, preparing and attempting to be 100% spot on. <em>43... Wed, 10 Jul 2013 13:34:33 EST HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE <BR> <BR> JUST TO SAY HOW BLESSED I FEEL TO BE LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES AND PRAY THAT THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE REMEMBER THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO THEIR COUNTRY AND THEIR NEIGHBORS TO GUARD THE FREEDOM AND RIGHTS WE FOUGHT SO HARD TO HAVE. <BR> <BR> MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA <BR> <BR> AND GOD BLESS MY SPARK FAMILY <em>241</em> Wed, 3 Jul 2013 23:14:47 EST SOUTH BEACH DIET One of the things I love best is starch and sweets and I find that I don't lose at all when I eat them....even in small quantities. <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> This week I am starting the South Beach Diet which has two weeks induction period which is no sweets and carbs...should be interesting and hope I can make it through the 2 weeks <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> <em>102</em> Since I have an energy problem and go to sleep tired and wake up tired I am hoping some energy is going to come back ... Tue, 2 Jul 2013 00:35:59 EST TEMPTATION This week I want to focus on improving that fact that when I am with other people especially close relations who I am not as comfortable or relaxed with I either overeat or eat the wrong thing (sinful sugar or starches) <BR> <BR> After giving it much thought I came up with a few reasons that I need adjustment: <BR> <BR> 1. I am self conscious that I am still overweight and they are not so I am oversensitive to how I feel I look to them, letting down myself and them (especially family member... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 11:39:03 EST WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG Last week objective was NOT TO TAKE THINGS PERSONAL. Last week I had to realize that mastering it will be a work in progress. I seem to get the concept but living it and making it part of me is another thing. <BR> <BR> Just when I thought I incorporated the concept into my daily practice I became overly upset this weekend about someone's unfounded negative reaction to me. Practice not Perfection <em>58</em> <BR> <BR> This week I will be practicing tools to decompress or release th... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:35:37 EST MAKING PERMANENT CHANGES IN MY LIFE This is the first item I am addressing in my determination to put an action on things in my life that do not serve me well and need to be permanently changed. <BR> <BR> Since I am an emotional eater I realized that there were relationship in my life that triggered binges or depressing feeling or negative thoughts about myself. <BR> <BR> This week I will review Luis Ruiz's Book, "The Four Agreements". Specifically one of the agreements is , DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. I remember reading... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:17:50 EST S.M.A.R.T. GOALS This Sunday I want to speak about proactive goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable and Time bound: <BR> <BR> Although Weight Loss is one of my Top Goals for the next 12 Weeks my More Important Goal is to make a minimum of 12 Permanent Changes in My Lifestyle by doing the following: <BR> <BR> 1. In order to even start doing this I will have to keep in mind each day to make care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually a priority each day otherwise nothing in my life will wo... Sun, 9 Jun 2013 22:57:40 EST ABC's Of Me A is for ABOVE and BEYOND...Does competition give you an extra push? <BR> YES <em>242</em> <em>306</em> <em>236</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> B is for BLC rounds... Newbie?(first BLC round) Oldie?(1-3 rounds) Goldie?(long time BLCer)? Former BLC team(s)? <BR> I AM A NEWBIE <em>241</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> How many children do you have? <BR> I HAVE A SON AND A GRANDDAUGHTER <em>337</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> D is for DOWNFALL...what's you're biggest temptation/excus... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 15:48:28 EST BLOG WEEK 8 I did not feel my heart was into my Weight Loss Program and saw many inconsistencies which was very discouraging. <BR> <BR> Joined Two challenges with the hopes that in addition to reporting to my wonderful buddy on a daily basis I will be even more committed to my weight loss and movement toward a healthy lifestyle. <BR> <BR> My thoughts are that even if I don't feel it now I will act as if...... until the healthy habits and putting me first feel natural and good to me. I will let you... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 20:01:01 EST REQUIRED BLOG WEEK 8 Dear Spark Friend, <BR> <BR> Had a real health scare this week and assessing where I still am in my weight and daily habits I still have a long way to go. Going through a health crisis sure puts everything in perspective making all else seem less significant since if we don't have good health what do we have? <BR> <BR> I will spend this week meditating on this fact IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR HEALTH WHAT DO YOU HAVE? Hope that will help get through to my thick <BR> <BR> Have a wond... Sun, 26 May 2013 12:01:59 EST REQUIRED BLOG WEEK 7 THIS WEEK I WANT TO THANK MY SPARK FAMILY FOR ALL THE DIFFERENT THINGS THEY OFFER ME AND I WANT TO DEDICATE THIS WEEK TO DIGESTING AND PRACTICING ALL THE THINGS I READ FROM THE INSIDER TODAY WHICH FEATURES...INSPIRATIONAL SPARK PEOPLE. <BR> <BR> I SPENT THIS SUNDAY READING SO MANY STORIES OF PEOPLE ON THIS SITE AND THEIR JOURNEY. I TRULY FEEL MORE CONNECTED AND THIS WEEK WILL REFLECT ON WHAT THEY DID AND WHAT I AM NOT DOING AND HOW TO MAKE A STRONGER COMMITMENT TO MYSELF AND MY HEALTH AND M... Sun, 19 May 2013 22:34:18 EST REQUIRED BLOG WEEK 6 Hard to Blog today since I have lost but so little it is sort of discouraging since I can't imagine eating less or exercising more because it hurts too much but I will try to look at being consistent and healthy and it is going in the right <BR> <BR> This week I am going to continue my focusing on what I have not what I don't have and doing what I can and not being upset about what I can't do. <BR> <BR> Adding something new is to reduce the amount of SUGAR, STARCH... Mon, 6 May 2013 16:38:33 EST REQUIRED BLOG FOR TEAM - WEEK 5 Happy to report that I am focusing as I promised myself on what I have and what I can do and not focusing on what I can't have and can't do. It has been very enlightening yet sometimes the worry comes in there and has to be put out. <BR> <BR> This week I learned a few things about habits I did not realize I was fostering. Usually at end of day especially when I had a particularly stressful day I wld avoid everything and everyone . I fooled myself I was coping yet I was not able to sleep... Wed, 1 May 2013 20:40:00 EST REQUIRED BLOG FOR TEAM CHALLENGE WEEK 4 Happy to have lost a few pounds trying to hold onto that success. Making it a daily quest to reduce or eliminate SUGAR, STARCH, SALT, SATURATED FATS, CAFFEINE. Trying not to be radical but slowly move toward that healthier place. Weekend eating out was a challenge and I could have done better will work on it during week so slips won't hurt me so much. <BR> <BR> For this week I am really working on my head to get it in a better place for healthy eating since most of my eating problems stem ... Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:06:58 EST REQUIRED BLOG FOR TEAM CHALLENGE WEEK 3 I am so fortunate to have given myself the gift of this site and all of you out there. <BR> <BR> Everyone suggested moderation on the 3 mini goals proposed last week: <BR> <BR> 1. no sugar/carbs <BR> 2. exercising excessively <BR> 3. Measuring/Weighing everything put in mouth. <BR> <BR> Well it was overwhelming and I moved toward moderation and its less stressful. Upside a few lbs lost and fighting to keep them off each minute of each day. <BR> <BR> This week I want to add add somethin... Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:23:09 EST DOING REQUIRED BLOG POST FOR TEAM PARTICIPATION MY MINI GOALS FOR THIS WEEK: <BR> <BR> 1. Eliminate sugar and refined carbs (bread, pasta, white flour products) from means <BR> 2. Keep moving as much as possible start small and get bigger gradually to not get discouraged <BR> 3. Track and Scale Measure everything I put in my mouth. <BR> <BR> I I can do the above for this week that is a lot for me. <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>220</em> <em>247</em> <em>381</em> Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:39:40 EST NEED TO START WEIGHING AGAIN Today I am going back to measuring and really paying attention to lower salt content as well as lowering carbs and sugar. <BR> <BR> I find if I abstain completely from carbs and sugar I set myself up for a binge on them so I need to have them in my diet in moderation until I can give them up completely.......when I stopped weighing this past few weeks I saw my weight go up instead of down....thank you scale. <BR> <BR> Back to the <BR> <BR> Have a great day Spark Family. ... Thu, 11 Apr 2013 11:03:16 EST I AM EXPERT AT SABATAGING A new start this spring was easier said than done but I believe I make it harder than it is. <BR> <BR> Decided to think less and do more....going to write a plan for the day and make it so simple even an idiot can follow it. I have decided to not have the highest expectation and stress myself out but to simplify and do the least so I have no excuse for not doing it at all. <BR> <BR> Will let you know how it turns <BR> <BR> Love to you all on our special life journey together. ... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 12:43:05 EST A NEW START FORGIVING SELF AND STARTING NEW WHEN ALL THINGS IN YOUR LIFE ARE GOING WRONG IS DIFFICULT TO DO BUT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING AND THE VERY BLESSED AND HOLY DAYS THAT HAVE JUST PAST I AM GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION WITH THE BLESSING OF MY HIGHER POWER TO START NEW. <BR> <BR> 1. I WILL ONLY LOOK FORWARD AND TODAY START THE FOUNDATION TO A STRONGER AND HEALTHIER COMMITMENT TO MYSELF AND ALL THINGS ON A HIGHER ENLIGHTENED PATH AND STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVITY IN ACTION, WORD AND... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 12:22:45 EST KEEPING ME FAT Today I am coming face to face with the fact that I do denial so well that is is true , I Don't Even Know I Am Lying, to myself. <BR> <BR> It is humbling to say the least. The fact that I can do so many things well and not succeed at keeping my body, the temple which I was gifted, thin and healthy. I am ashamed and guilty today to admit I have failed myself. <BR> <BR> I stopped journaling but I need to resume it though it seems like just another chore at this point in my busy day but I n... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 14:17:04 EST RISING ABOVE THE FEAR OF FAILURE Today I want to concentrate on making sure I only think positive thoughts no matter how awful a life event or person or task may be. <BR> <BR> Today is all I have (yesterday being gone and tomorrow not promised). I will treasure it to the best of my ability and keep in mind that it could be the last day I am given (hopefully <BR> <BR> I am going to think about developing habits that will keep me in the now and realize i need to balance the bitter with the sweet so I ... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:29:08 EST ASH WEDNESDAY A SIGN OF SPRING COMING Dear Spark Family, <BR> <BR> Just read my last Blog and anyone not knowing me or what I was going through would think I was a manic depressive personality. Reading my own blog from a strangers perspective made me realize how others view where you are at. It was an interesting perspective. <BR> <BR> Ash Wednesday was always for me a marker that told me that Spring is on its way. Since I think of spring as a rebirthing and renewal time for Mind, Body and Spirit I am going to put more effor... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 16:21:31 EST FROZEN IN TIME This past month has been overwhelming with fear, bewilderment and frustration not knowing what to do and how to do it. I feel like I am in the outer limits at times unsure of what is right and what steps to take next. <BR> <BR> I am relying on God carrying me through this like in Footprints since the pralysis that sets in lately is a bit scary. I need to trust in a higher power that I will come out fine on the other side of this. I often want to fall apart and give up all this fighting ea... Thu, 7 Feb 2013 11:55:29 EST TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME AND TRYING TO ONLY SEE THE POSITIVE Dearest Spark Family, <BR> <BR> Lately trying to move forward here has been going at a snail's pace and each day sometimes more bad news comes in and I am trying to receive it with dignity and class....though at times my initial reaction is to get upset as if I was just punched in the stomach. <BR> <BR> Time is going by so fast and cost emotionally, physically and financially sometimes hard to not be paralyzed about yet what are the either give it all up & lay down and die ... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 12:13:03 EST TESTING FAITH HOW STRANGE AND SOMETIMES PAINFUL IT FEELS TO BE IN LIMBO NOW ABOUT MY RESTORATION HOME PROJECT. <BR> <BR> EVER SINCE THE BUILDER WALKED AWAY THE QUESTION OF.... AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO RESTORE MY HOME AND RETURN TO NORMAL?... IS HAUNTING MY DAYS AND NIGHTS. HE HAS ATTACKED US ON EVERY LEVEL MOSTLY FINANCIALLY AND WE HAVE NO RECOURSE. <BR> <BR> AS I SIT HERE IN WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ABYSS ,SINCE THE PROBLEMS ARE SO OVERWHELMING HOW TO MOVE FORWARD IS SO UNCLEAR. I TRY TO HAVE FAITH THAT ... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 11:22:41 EST DOES THE BAD NEWS EVER STOP (PART TWO OF BUILDING SAGA) DEAR SPARK SISTERS, <BR> <BR> THIS ADVENTURE WITH THE BUILDER WHO WALKED OFF MY JOB NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME AS INFORMATION COMES IN EACH DAY. <BR> <BR> TODAY I FOUND OUT THAT I CAN SUE, OF COURSE WITH NO GUARANTEE OF THE OUTCOME, BUT JUST A ROUGH GUESS OF WHAT IT WOULD COST ME TO BRING SOME JUSTICE TO THIS SITUATION: AROUND $40,000 IN LAWYER FEES AND AROUND 1 1/2 TO 2 YEARS OF TIME SINCE THIS IS IN THE SUPREME COURT AND A CIVIL MATTER. SO IN CONCLUSION ALL THE AGENCIES I MENTIONED IN THE... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 12:43:15 EST I MUST LEARN TO EMBRACE ADVERSITY Today I am in awe at how consumer's rights have to diminished to a point that is scary. Having this problem with my builder I appealed to Better Business Bureau and after 2 weeks got a notice that they received no answer from builder so they are closing the file. <BR> <BR> Consumer Affairs after sending them breached contract and proof of all monies paid I asked for an inspection of premises so they can see the mess the builder has left me. Ironically, they were not even concerned and wou... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 23:59:14 EST VALUE TODAY I JUST WANT TO POST A MEMORIAL FOR THE FATHER LOST IN THE STORM WHILE HE WAS WATCHING TV WITH HIS CHILDREN AND WIFE. THE TREE SPLIT THE ROOM IN HALF AND ALTHOUGH ALL WENT THE HOSPITAL AND THANK GOD STILL ALIVE THE FATHER DIED. <BR> <BR> I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT TO ALL HOW BLESSED WE ARE TO BE HERE TODAY AND HAVE THE GIFT OF ANOTHER DAY....A NOTE TO NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF SINCE IN A MOMENT OUR PRECIOUS LIFE OR OF SOMEONE WE LOVE CAN BE TAKEN FROM US. <BR> <BR> MAY GOD GIVE ME THE S... Wed, 31 Oct 2012 17:29:57 EST Sabotaging MY SUCCESS I have found I must watch what I call my negative or stinky thinking. It seems a pattern that everytime I am on a roll toward healthy habits and weight loss I seem to go for a cookie jar or something equivalent that is no good for me or the goals I am striving for. <BR> <BR> I know it seems like an excuse but stress is the fault and I must come to terms that life is always going to be a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs its goods and bads. I need to get real with myself sinc... Tue, 16 Oct 2012 12:32:54 EST STILL STUFFING DOWN THE FEELINGS? Change is such a slow process.....I almost think it is a journey in patience first then a process of slowly evolving into a realization that to change one must be conscious at all times of what you are doing in all aspects of our lives. I am just becoming painfully aware that too often I have allowed my mind to leave my body. Being an expert in doing DENIAL....which means Don't Even Know I Am Lying to myself and others I can pretend everything is okay when it really is not. <BR> <BR> ... Fri, 12 Oct 2012 22:25:52 EST HOPEFULLY ON THE WAY AGAIN With all the support on here and advice from a wonderful lady who helps people with major losses in their lives I feel encouraged and hopeful my baby steps will do the trick. <BR> <BR> I want very much this time to make a lifestyle change. Changes that will serve me in all aspect of my life. I want to enjoy the journey more no matter what happens to me. I need to always keep in mind that 10% is what happens to be and 90% is how I react to it. <BR> <BR> Someone suggested to me th... Thu, 4 Oct 2012 23:03:29 EST TAKING THINGS PERSONAL HOW CAN ONE NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONAL? That is something I need to learn. <BR> <BR> I read a book called the Four Agreements by Ruiz and in it he expounds how one of the most important things is not to take things personal since it is the other person outside of you and not you that generates these actions and feelings. Sounds so good in theory but to live it is another story. Why I must internalize things is beyond me, take many people in my family they have no trouble whatsoever blaming ... Sun, 23 Sep 2012 17:28:47 EST SETTING MYSELF UP After a wonderful first week on this site I lost 7 only to gain back 6 the second. Am I depressed about this?....Yes Yet, I know it is important to pick myself up and brush myself off and go on...not so easy since I found myself fail all over the place the second week going into the third. It is time to HALT and try to learn from all this. What did I discover these are just some of the things: <BR> 1. I don't plan ahead enough. When you don't plan they say you plan to fail. <BR> ... Fri, 21 Sep 2012 11:24:00 EST