IAMBIZI's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=IAMBIZI IAMBIZI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 21 days Alcohol free! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743700 I had a reasonable lunch then had a big dinner. <BR> <BR> lunch: <BR> tabouli made with quinoa instead of wheat <BR> chicken salad with apples and walnuts <BR> blue berries <BR> <BR> Dinner: <BR> roasted califlower(Mayo, chili powder, parmesan cheese) <BR> small thin egg plant roasted little grapeseed oil and spices <BR> spicy cat fish with crab stuffing <BR> a baked tomato <BR> fresh mango <BR> <BR> all of the veggies and chicken salad and tabouli are organic. <BR> <BR> I ate about half ... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 20:44:59 EST Food glorious food! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741723 Had great food today! <BR> <BR> lunch: <BR> Wild caught salmon with slices of mango on it-yum! <BR> purple cabbage <BR> collard greens <BR> chard with onions and peppers <BR> (all organic veggies) <BR> <BR> Dinner: <BR> organic chicken salad with apples and walnuts <BR> organic carrots salad with golden raisins <BR> a whole avacado with some apple cider vinegar <BR> an organic tomato with sour cream <BR> <BR> I think I will have a cup of coffee about ready to fall asleep. <BR> yawn! <BR> b... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:19:05 EST july 16th...16 days AF http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740008 Still at 153.5 this morning after a weekend of not healthy food while I was out of town for my father in laws funeral. <BR> But I am back to eating healthy and can perhaps make it to the gym sometime...I will work late tonight and have more paper work to do, charting that I am behind on...like usual. Still AF since 7-1-14 so am happy about that, probably the reason I can lose weight. I need to fold a load of laundry that has been sitting there for over a week, it nags at me. Last night I made... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 10:53:20 EST July 10th...10 days AF http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5736368 well today has been a whirl wind. <BR> I worked a normal day got home at 5;30 then made a bunch of phone calls to reschedule clients from sat, sun, mon and a couple of new clients. one to a client who really needed to be seen so I ate a few bites of a curried chicken salad and drove like crazy to get there by 7pm and he really needed my foot care so i felt good about going. now I am worrying that I did too much, took the dead nail off and it had been infected so told the nurse about it and sh... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 23:08:21 EST July 6th.... 6 days alcohol free, down 2 pounds :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5733338 I worked friday but I love my job so that is fine. Had a girl friend over to share dinner. It was good! We had a chicken salad with walnuts and apples and raisins very good and cucumbers and tomatoes and strawberries and raspberries and grapes for dinner with a friend then went to see fire works in another town as our town was not having any <em>24</em> She brought white wine for dinner and had a margarita at the fair grounds. mini-mid way rides, fair food. It was fun and different which is... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 20:40:33 EST Taking back control! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730091 July 1st, new month, new mind set. <BR> My scrubs are so tight that they are cutting into me at the waist. and these are draw string pants!!!! <BR> This is the heaviest that I have been in a very long time. <BR> I have been eating and drinking too long now and want to be healthier. <BR> Today is my first alcohol free day in a long time. <BR> I stopped at an organic local produce stand and picked up some corn on the cob(which was very good, and I was not grossed out by the little worm that I f... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 20:39:38 EST weight up.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712584 I should not be surprised that my weight is up because I have been drinking. 152.5 this morning that makes for a total of 13 pounds gain in 7 months. NOT GOOD! <BR> We are leaving on vacation and this would be a good time to really watch what I eat and maybe even do a diet with protein shakes and such. Something to think about. Usually I gain weight on vacation. We leave in a week next friday am not ready need to get the car serviced before then. WE are taking my new car, hopefully all will ... Sat, 7 Jun 2014 08:46:11 EST weight is down some but am a bit dehydrated so.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5701387 well I had 3 beers last night the ultra michelob light pomegranet. 95 calories, they were tasty and I am out of beer now so maybe I won't buy any more for a while. <BR> I did make it thru the work out class at the gym yesterday, I feeel it today. That was the first fitness 101 class in years that I have done. I could only do about 3/4 of the class. I just can't seem to do squats or lunges and I can't balance on one foot where we are supposed to stretch our legs. I fall over. every one else st... Fri, 23 May 2014 10:18:45 EST I am back..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700363 I started posting again and feel good about that. <BR> Initially I stopped posting because I thought that it was taking too much time on the computer. I had deleted all of the blogs, websites, forums that had anything to do with alcohol. I really was spending a lot of time going to those sites. But what I discovered was that I was still spending the same amount of time on the computer just going to diffferent links and staying more on facebook. <BR> So I decided to check back in here. <BR> I ... Wed, 21 May 2014 23:12:53 EST I need to get a life.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5665027 I keep wondering what I am doing with my life. Maybe I am depressed? <BR> I can't seem to get motivated to do much of anything. I am getting my hair colored today. I did make coffee this morning. <BR> I am relying on jeff more and more these days to do the cooking. <BR> neither one of us clean so the house is a mess. <BR> I sit here in my jammies.... <BR> I should be more active... <BR> I should read the newspaper and watch the news... <BR> I should know my local politicians and current event... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 12:37:29 EST Day 13 of lent, St Patty's day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5650366 WE went to my friends house for St. Patty's day dinner. <BR> I ate desert. a big piece of cho french silk pie. <BR> Ate corned beef and cabbage and mashed potatoes and bread so ate a lot of starches tonight, <BR> NOT ON MY DIET! <BR> I have been doing really well and forgot that I was not eating sugar for lent. OPPS! <BR> Honestly I forgot! <BR> 12 days of sugar free at least. <BR> And I am still AF which is the most important aspect of this lent period. <BR> WEll actually I am doing Belles... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 22:52:04 EST Lent starts day one... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5640023 As Mardi Gras comes to a close I remember the fun over the weekend we had at the parades and cook outs and king cake party. It was definitely a "Fat Tuesday" with all of the eating and drinking that took place. <BR> But alas, It is now Ash wednesday and although I do not consider myself a religious person, I think that I am more spiritual. I recognize that for the majority of people in my town who are catholic, today is a big deal. And I respect that. This is the perfect opportunity to sacrif... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 01:07:43 EST Food Glorious Food! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5634751 Oh I love being on a low carb diet when we go out to eat at Dwights. <BR> Our favorite restaurant. <BR> Piping hot Char-broiled oysters with a buttery, slightly spicy cheeseyness that is delightfully sinful! First of the season. I had the crawfish ettouffe with cheese over mixed brocolli/califlower and carrots instead of a baked potato. <BR> Jeff had 3#s of boiled crawfish with baby red potatoes and a piece of corn on the cobb. <BR> They only opened last night for crawfish and we are so happy... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 21:47:39 EST survived day 3..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5632062 This time around the days are just dragging, can't believe it is only day 3 down. <BR> I thought yesterday was day 3. <BR> sigh <BR> It is so much harder not drinking this time. <BR> Wolfie came strong on me tonight I actually told hubby that I was going to get some beer. said good bye to him he was out the door to see a concert and I left to the grocery store. <BR> I walked in and went to the bathroom there and came out and talked myself out of the beer and instead bought myself some raspb... Mon, 24 Feb 2014 00:12:50 EST Day one...(again) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5629068 good morning, I too need to get back on tract of dieting and watching what I eat. have put on a couple of more pounds...slowly creeping back up again. Have been eating these wonderful donuts int he mornings they are all gone now. clients have been feeding me, need to politely say no that I am on a diet. <BR> But the scarey thing that I read last night is how sugar feeds cancer cells and more specifically can contribute to breast cancer risks. I knew that alcohol did this. <BR> It was called a... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 10:10:18 EST Big hurdle..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5624696 Well I have not been AF for days. I finally took off my FU wolfie bracelet <BR> Wolfie has won for now..... <BR> Hubby and I had a fabulous valentines day together. <BR> I woke up to a rose by my bed and then more flowers, a big spring bunch in the kitchen and some of my favorite dark chocolate truffles by lindt...yum and a nice card. He wrote a special not inside, he is a wonderful husband. <BR> When I got home I gave him a nice card, some of his favorite beer and some special Mardi Gras cup... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 11:29:20 EST new day one.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5616328 Well I had a heart to heart with my therapist tonight. <BR> The truth of the matter is that I drank so much last night that I blacked out and don't remember half of the evening with jeff....She was so kind. I know that I need to get back to an alcohol free life style.I start tonight by going to the gym and taking a well needed shower. <BR> I hope to go to the gym twice a week. <BR> I cooked a new recipe for dinner tonight hubby loved it! not heart healthy but really good. <BR> Chicken with on... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 21:20:46 EST today is day one http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5611044 <BR> I was so motivated to not drink. I had 165 Alcohol free=af days then relapsed. Today is day one. <BR> I want to live a more healthy life style and alcohol is a poison so that does not figure into the overall picture of health. <BR> I have regained some of the weight that I lost, not tragic but my scrubs are fitting tight again sigh <BR> back on the horse. <BR> have a great day and lets make feb a new month! <BR> bizi Fri, 31 Jan 2014 10:36:19 EST What do you think? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5610135 Since I posted last I have had many drinking nights: <BR> <BR> 9 black cherry mikes hard lemonade here on out referred to as "drinks"=friday, started at 3pm-1030pm (snow day) <BR> 10 small margaritas= monday 5pm-7pm <BR> off work for next 2 days <BR> 6 drinks= tuesday-snow day <BR> 3 drinks= wednesday(last night), had left over drinks. <BR> I have 3 drinks left and plan on drinking them tonight. <BR> Is three drinks moderation? <BR> I don't think so. <BR> I had 165 days AF under my belt but... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:14:55 EST 165 days......damn wolfie http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5605801 Friday, yesterday, was a snow day. <BR> We had freezing rains and some snow accumulation, <BR> which is really rare for southern louisiana! <BR> I made it to see one client and then had lunch and went to see another but decided to head home because the bridges were being closed due to ice and I was afraid to leave my car in the freezing rain because the heater in my car is not working correctly. <BR> So I drove home the back way and was able to cross a bridge that had not been closed to get ... Sun, 26 Jan 2014 01:14:33 EST whew http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5591847 WEll I just had a major wolfie attack. <BR> Today was a day for chores. Paperwork, billing, filing, charting, end of year stuff for taxes etc. That was my goal today was to finish all of that paperwork and get the christmas decorations put away. <BR> I was trying to avoid the computer soberistas chat site all day and just checking in quickly at my other forums email, face book. quick checks but try to stay out of the chat room. So I did that up until around 9pm. That is when jeff left to have... Mon, 13 Jan 2014 00:45:50 EST 5 Months AF http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5588732 WEll I had stopped counting once I got past 120 days....so decided to take the calender down and count....I am at 151 days alcohol free...that is 5 months. I was going to wait and let Belle tell me when I had reached 180 days....what the heck. <BR> I am not hanging on to each number trying to not obsess with the counting. <BR> It definately gets easier as time goes on but wolfie pops his head in every now and then. <BR> Have to stay vigilant for him. <BR> Maybe I will be brave to step on the ... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 00:11:02 EST So who is wolfie? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5583708 So who is wolfie? <BR> The big bad wolfie who calls upon us....he whispers in my ear lies. telling me that I can't have any fun with out alcohol. Makes me want to drink.....whispers I can reward myself with alcohol. Tells me that I am more sociable, funnier...they are lies! <BR> He has come to me just after finishing the new years eve party AF. and so happy that I had a great time, a wonderful time with my twin sister and hubby , laughed ate, danced and had fun fun fun all with out drinking a... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 23:24:18 EST Of course I am grieving. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5561635 I saw my therapist tonight. <BR> She said of course I am grieving giving up alcohol. <BR> She understood that exactly. <BR> Like she said nobody goes to AA and says how wonderful they feel giving up drinking! <BR> I told her that someone said to me "the honey moon is over" She is right. <BR> Unless I work on the reasons why I drank then I will not have the strength to stay sober. <BR> I am glad that I have her on my corner of support. <BR> She has been sober 21 years. <BR> My Psychiatrist sai... Tue, 10 Dec 2013 21:15:51 EST I want to be a non drinker..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5560133 I will be at 120 days tomorrow. 16 weeks! almost 4 months! <BR> Going home for the holidays will be a challenge for me. I have told all in my family that I will not be drinking so no one should offer me a drink. WE are going to indiana where there will be cold and snow most likely. I hate the cold. I have Raynauds disorder, fingers and toes turn white and hurt, circulation thingy, runs in my family. <BR> <BR> I want to be a non-drinker...not a drinker who can't drink. <BR> In some ways I don... Sun, 8 Dec 2013 23:32:32 EST AF but grieving over it..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5556319 This may sound weird but I am grieving giving up alcohol. <BR> <BR> I miss it. <BR> <BR> I love to drink. <BR> <BR> I wish I could be like my hubby and drink in moderation but I can't. <BR> <BR> I feel like I am being punished for bad behavior. <BR> <BR> For this I don't get to drink anymore. <BR> <BR> I am sad about it, angry at myself for not being able to just drink 2. <BR> <BR> How do I come to acceptance? <BR> <BR> bizi Tue, 3 Dec 2013 21:59:56 EST Rewards http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5553361 IT is 110 day AF today. <BR> belle says we should be rewarding ourselves along this sober journey. I have not, I have not even rewarded myself when I reached 100 days. <BR> At first along the way I bought myself a cosmo magazine as I feel it is indulgent to sit and read one of those type of magazines. But I never even got thru it.... I did buy myself some raspberries one time! <BR> sigh <BR> I see going to the gym as a reward but have no motivation to go since it has been cold here supposed t... Sat, 30 Nov 2013 10:45:29 EST AF day 108 or 109.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5551877 I am sitting at my computer and have a cat in my lap or I would get up and look at my calendar. <BR> She must have read my mind as she just jumped down. It is 108. Ah got up and stretched a bit. <BR> It has been a good day for me. Got up early and had a cup of no calorie stevia sweetened black coffee. <BR> I took a MUCH needed shower and read some of the paper. I did not have any clients this morning because I knew that I need to be fasting and have blood work drawn, yearly stuff and thyroid... Wed, 27 Nov 2013 23:48:16 EST 99 days alcohol free.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5544805 Just wanted to share that I have made it to almost 100 days. I will make it there am 100% confident. <BR> <BR> many weeks ago I joined Belle's 100 day challenge and now will join her 180 day team. Maybe she has a 360 team too? <BR> <BR> From here on out will be a challenge because of the holidays. I have social anxiety issues and used to drink to feel more at ease in social situations. I have not had really many encounters in this time but will over the holidays. <BR> <BR> This is true esp... Mon, 18 Nov 2013 23:47:27 EST Sex life while sober????? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5541838 Well tell me. <BR> <BR> I have been married for 17 years( second marriage) and this is the first time that I am thinking about having sex with my hubby sober. I love my husband but don't really like sex. He has been a very patient man with me over the years. It has been 3 months since we have had a certain level of intimacy, and probably 6 months since we had sex. We never talk about it and I usually feel very guilty and then talk myself into having sex with him which ends up being somewhat ... Fri, 15 Nov 2013 10:36:13 EST Just an update..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5539693 Just wanted to give you an update....Hubby is still practicing again, love it! <BR> I am holding off in buying a new car. <BR> (they told me they would give me $1K trade in value, it is worth more than that!) <BR> I will just run this car as long as I can and replace the battery pack as I need to. Once it finally dies completely it will run on gasoline only and I will see what kind of gas mileage I get and decide then if we want to spend an extra 2K to replace the battery pack. It is a hybr... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 23:58:21 EST Thankful..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5536188 I am thankful for my hubby: Jeff. <BR> He is loving and funny and playful and a musical artist. He plays classical and jazz guitar. He teaches at the local unniversity for a living. He had taken an unannounced break from practicing. We did not discuss it. Over the summer he returned to his younger days and played rock and roll playing jimmy hendrix and stevie wonder. He rarely played over the course of last year too. I was afraid he did not like his classical guitar anymore but was afraid to... Fri, 8 Nov 2013 22:50:32 EST Getting a new car.....What do you think? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5531056 Have been reading and researching info about new cars that are fuel thrifty and sporty looking. I have kindo narrowed it down to a VW jetta or a nissan sentra SR. <BR> The jetta is a diesel and hubby is not keen on that. <BR> I want a car color that is very bright like a brite red or blue. I am self employed and want a car to stand out with my advertising logo on it. <BR> I have been on the computer for many many hours today. <BR> I remain alcohol free 84 days. I am cold so keep turning up t... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 15:52:22 EST wolfie again.....sigh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5529182 ready to start a new month. <BR> wolfie came last night. I sense of resentment... <BR> ."WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE EVERY ONE ELSE?" <BR> I felt like 2 year old wanting something that I can't have. I still did not say anything to jeff because his response is just have a beer. I would have drank the six pack...sigh <BR> After the treating hours were over we watched the birds movie, never had seen if before directed by alfred hitchcock. great movie. <BR> then went to bed around 12:30, up at 8 but laid... Fri, 1 Nov 2013 11:20:14 EST It is serious.............. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5526030 I don't even know where to begin. <BR> Yesterday I was on the computer for such a long time. <BR> I find reading blogs and forums and face book all to be so entertaining. <BR> It has become my obsession. <BR> Hubby had already gone to bed and I had not done my nightly routine, takes me about 30 minutes to take meds wash face etc.... before I go to sleep.I had been up after 1 am, hubby has to get up early in the morning. I don't. <BR> He was angry that I was still up on the computer that he b... Mon, 28 Oct 2013 22:37:18 EST Drinking alcohol can cause breast cancer. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5522754 Alcohol and breast cancer <BR> From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: <BR> <BR> The relationship between alcohol and breast cancer has been a subject of significant research. It has long been considered a risk factor for breast cancer in women.[1][2] The International Agency for Research on Cancer has declared that there is sufficient scientific evidence to classify alcoholic beverages a Group 1 carcinogen that causes breast cancer in women.[3] Group 1 carcinogens are the substances with the... Thu, 24 Oct 2013 23:47:14 EST wolfie made a visit.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5516583 Tonight, as I sit in front of this computer, wolfie made a visit. <BR> <BR> I was just sitting here reading some BBC news, watching some videos and there he was....breathing down my back whispering in my ear. Go to the store and get some black cherry mikes hard lemonaide. You have made it this long with out drinking, you can drink now????? <BR> <BR> It has been a while since he made his presence known. <BR> <BR> It took only a moment for me to change my thoughts and go into the kitchen and... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 00:35:26 EST Is alcoholism a disease? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5514760 From the web site: www.stopdrinkingalcohol.com the live link is at the bottom! <BR> <BR> Is Alcoholism a Disease? <BR> <BR> Is alcoholism a disease that you have no control over? Many alcoholics who think so are in reality simply tired of giving an excuse for their drinking problem so they want to make it sound like a confusing, medical issue that the common person will not be able to understand. <BR> <BR> A bad excuse that many people use to justify their problem with alcohol is that thei... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 23:52:33 EST feeling better about myself.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5510617 Well I have been getting up earlier in order to have time to read the local newspaper. and I have been listening to NPR radio for more news and commentary thru out the day. I made it to the gym last night and <BR> walked a 5 K, 3.2 miles in 64 minutes at 3 miles an hour. So I feel good about that. I have made it thru 60 days alcohol free this time around. It has not been hard so am happy about that. I weighed 143.5 this morning, I fluctuate so much but happy to see that number this morning. <... Fri, 11 Oct 2013 09:56:26 EST FU wolfie.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5509398 Today was a great day. <BR> I was finished working a bit early and knew hubby would not be home for a while so I stopped by my friends house to see if she was home. <BR> She was home! <BR> I was so happy to see her. She offered me something to drink none of it was alcohol so I was glad about that. I took a glass of her herbal ice tea. <BR> I showed her my bracelet....inscribed with FU wolfie. and explained about belles 100 day challenge and that the wolfie is the one to make you doubt yoursel... Wed, 9 Oct 2013 23:01:17 EST tuesdays with morrie.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5505091 Last night we went to a play called tuesdays with morrie. <BR> I remember reading the book years ago when it came out but have forgotten about the story. <BR> IT was a good play very emotional, first time for me crying at a play they were that good. <BR> During intermission we went next door to buy some gilato, like fancy ice cream. I ordered pumpkin spice and it was delicious!. <BR> I am still trying to diet but feel that I just can't not live my life and not have some of my favorite foods ... Sat, 5 Oct 2013 10:14:53 EST Good bye my dear.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5494797 Went to go see a patient that I have been seeing for years, she recently moved to a nursing home from an assisted living facility but she had been suffering with alzheimers disease for years. I started tending to her toes when she was lucid enough to have meaningful conversations.....7-9 years later She deteriorated to having been fed because she no longer had the ability to feed herself. <BR> very sad. <BR> This has been a long journey for her family, sad to watch her decline. <BR> I had wa... Tue, 24 Sep 2013 11:39:53 EST pictures with my new camera! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5492415 I took some pictures with my new camera. <BR> I put 5 of them on my spark page if you want to see them. <BR> Jeff helped me out with getting them onto my computer desk top from my memory card reader. <BR> I played around a lot with it today. Am still learning, I set some settings tonight that I will need to review again. <BR> I hope you like the pictures I will post some more once I get them off of the card reader. <BR> Worked today admitted 4 new clients, very nice elderly people! Don't min... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 01:23:28 EST I do have an addictive personality! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5490586 WEll I just got back from my therapists office and we decided that <BR> my addiction to this computer was far worse than the one to alcohol. <BR> We talked for a long time about this almost the entire hour. <BR> She wants me to go back to the gym. Find other things to do. <BR> I told her that I needed to get a life and have been saying this for a long time. <BR> We discussed me having the computer being my reward for work done. <BR> Like I can't get on here until my paperwork is caught up o... Thu, 19 Sep 2013 21:17:48 EST I loathe paperwork http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5488810 <BR> <BR> I am calling it a sober night. <BR> <BR> I am in a funk in my life right now. <BR> <BR> I struggle with tackling my paper work. I have a foot care business. <BR> <BR> I basically give pedicures to the elderly in their homes. <BR> <BR> I love my job but hate the paper work....which is a necessary part of my job. <BR> <BR> And am constantly behind. <BR> <BR> I have so many folders over 200 charts that I need to go thru and pullout the old ones and make room for the new ones. I... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 23:42:19 EST wolfie was banging on my door tonight! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5485783 WEll it was more than wolfie, it was anxiety, awkwardness, feeling like a fish out of water, it was really uncomfortable. <BR> It was the second saturday of the month. <BR> ART walk in our community. 6-9pm art galleries open their doors and have free wine and snacks. <BR> This is the first one that we went to in a long time. first one where I have not drank. <BR> Instead I picked at some of the food at each gallery. Cream cheese and pepper sauce on a cracker or two. Then some cheese , then a... Sat, 14 Sep 2013 23:00:39 EST numbers game.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5480422 WEll the numbers don't lie. <BR> My weight has fluctuated over the past 2 1/2 months, mostly going up then slowly going down. <BR> I took out my cards where I record my measurements and the last time <BR> I measured was on june 15. I weighed 140.5. I weigh 146 this morning. <BR> I measured in 8 places... <BR> In 2 1/2 months I am up 9.25 inches! <BR> That my friends is alarming. <BR> Now granted I am getting ready to start my period <BR> so perhaps there are some extra inches, swollen brea... Mon, 9 Sep 2013 10:20:46 EST I bought a camera! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5479833 well I shopped at best buys for hours it seemed and came out with my very first camera. <BR> I love it. <BR> Have not been able to try it out yet, have to charge up the battery. <BR> It has a good close up feature, so that is good. <BR> getting ready to go pick up some fish for tomorrow and a movie. <BR> Calling it another AF day. that is 28 days, 4 weeks! <BR> I am not sure of the reasons for drinking. boredom, anxiety, taste, <BR> pleasure seeking, hypomania, all of the above. <BR> I am ... Sun, 8 Sep 2013 20:04:45 EST I have an addictive personality..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5478238 tonight was tough. I have become more anxious as time goes on by. tonight we went to some friends house(we normally drink there) and was fine during dinner, but then we stayed to watch a movie. I wanted to bolt. I tried to stretch and get rid of the anxiety feelings in my body, got up and walked to get more water then to the bathroom...etc this went on for 2 hours until the movie was over(some james bond movie diamonds are forever). <BR> I don't know if I was more anxious in general or becau... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 23:41:06 EST 100 day challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5476252 Dear Belle, <BR> “I will not drink for 100 days. No matter what. I can cry, but I will not drink. I can go to bed or go home early. I might feel distressed … but I will not drink. Bad things might happen, but I will not drink. Incredibly (awful) things may happen to someone around me, or my neighbor, or my friend’s friend’s grandmother. But there will be no booze. Funerals? Weddings? Amputation? I’m not drinking for 100 days no matter what happens … No matter what." <BR> <BR> I just ... Wed, 4 Sep 2013 23:44:14 EST