HOPEFILL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=HOPEFILL HOPEFILL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Where To, Now? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5735535 I have loved running since high school, but I've never run competitively. I've always been a little worried it would ruin it. But my running life has evolved as much as other parts of my life. I used to think I'd never run with music, now I can't imagine running without it. I used to trail run on the AT every day, now I run in a concrete jungle and need to give my knees a days rest in between. And, now, I've signed up for my very first race. <BR> <BR> What I've learned anecdotally is that no... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 18:29:14 EST Enjoying the Journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726146 So, I lost a little weight. Then I gained. Then the scale got stuck. <BR> <BR> It could all get so frustrating. But, the truth is, I can tell I'm winning. <BR> <BR> The other day, on my jog, I went 2 minutes longer than planned just because it was feeling good. My knee wasn't hurting, I wasn't counting the seconds down to when I could give up, and I felt even a little lighter on my feet. <BR> <BR> My arms are still a soft, but sometimes when I move them, I can see the little muscles I've ... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 07:45:42 EST Accountability http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724092 I have a plan to keep on track with my nutritional goals today...but I know I'll be tempted to stray. Just a little bit. And then a little bit more. So, I figure I better put my committment in writing! <BR> <BR> I'm having lunch out with a friend. I'm going to order the lean bison burger and request them not to include fries or chips on the plate. Just the burger....and that's plenty! Before we leave, I'll stop by the cafeteria next door and pick up salad greens as the lacking ingredient for... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 12:02:27 EST High Anxiety http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717088 My sleep last night was super weird. It was stressful. When I realized I had accidentally slept in, I resented the extra hour I had put in. I was wide awake at 4am and wheezing, so I used my inhaler, which elevates my heart rate. Maybe that's why I'm feeling like this. <BR> <BR> No groggy, half-asleep wakeup this morning. Nopers. I woke up full on anxious. Sufficiently so that I almost regret running after work yesterday because it means my knees won't tolerate a run this morning...and that'... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 09:20:04 EST Mmmm. Mmmm. Boring Diets Rule! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715084 Victory update: Guess who worked out for 8 minutes today? 8 minutes!!! Who the heck does that? Who even bothers with 8 minutes? This girl. And I'm so glad that I did. I did squats and lunges and single-leg toe-touches and the world's quickest sun salutations. And I'm that much closer to my goals because of it. Yay for 8 minutes! And now, onto my blog topic du jour... <BR> <BR> <BR> I don't know about you, but my daily life is filled with WAY too many details. It's death by a thousand paperc... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 15:40:59 EST Braggypants http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713112 You know how some days, you get up with a plan to accomplish a million things....and then, when it's time for bed, you feel like poo because you did about one and a half of them? <BR> <BR> Today was the opposite. <BR> <BR> And I'm so stoked by my awesometastic day, I want to brag about everything I accomplished today! So here it is. Today, I: <BR> <BR> 1. Put away my laundry <BR> 2. Fixed an old erg that was out of the curb for free that I picked up yesterday <BR> 3. Cleaned the top of my... Sat, 7 Jun 2014 23:08:08 EST MOAR....or Less. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712203 I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. Both by all that I'm doing and by all that I'm not doing.I simultaneously feel like there's so much more I need to be doing, and that I need to be doing so much less. <BR> <BR> I think there's actually some jiu jitsu involved in the addition/subtraction business. For example, right now, I'm focused on adding vegetables to my diet. It's a lot easier to focus on adding vegetables than it is for me to focus on eliminating sugar. I am, in fact, eliminating s... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 15:27:10 EST It's always Week One, here http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708727 Step one: gain weight. <BR> <BR> Is that how it starts for anyone else? I decided it was time to complete my weight loss journey, I returned to Spark, started paying more attention to what I was eating....and the scale jumped significantly. Upwards. <BR> <BR> This isn't my first rodeo, so I'm not even surprised, though I'd be lying if I said it's not frustrating. <BR> <BR> But, ok. If that has to be part of the process, then, check - that step is taken care of, and I can move on to the nex... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 08:54:14 EST Waiting and Starting Part II http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5699017 I've been reading a book about insecurity in my women's group. I remember thinking, "Well, I don't really have any need to think about insecurity, but I do love this time with my ladies, so I'll stick it out and try to enjoy the ride anyway." <BR> <BR> HA. <BR> <BR> Here I always thought you could hide insecurity from others....but never considered how I might be hiding if from myself. It's amazing to me how much ugliness I carry that I bury so deep I am surprised to remember it's mine. <... Tue, 20 May 2014 08:19:39 EST Waiting and Starting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5696304 How many times have you told yourself, you'll do [that thing] once you [accomplish something else]? <BR> <BR> And how many times has the accomplishment been a weight-loss or fitness objective? <BR> <BR> And how many times have you not done that thing because you didn't reach your objective? <BR> <BR> I'm asking because I'm pretty confident that this is a problem that plagues us all. We punish ourselves. Good grief, we talk about not going on deprivation diets...but then we deprive ourselv... Fri, 16 May 2014 10:12:01 EST Where the Heck Did HopeFill Go?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5691791 Holy mackerel - when I just saw what my last blog post was, I gasped. <BR> <BR> Sorry, y'all. Gosh...and that was a horrible, horrible week. <BR> <BR> But let me tell you all the amazing, wonderful things that have happened since! <BR> <BR> First off, I was never laid off. But a couple months later, I got a great job offer working with an office I had previously consulted for - great boss, coworkers I love spending time with and who are immensely competent, a 30-minute walking commute, AN... Sat, 10 May 2014 09:04:37 EST No Looking Back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5346591 This week was hell. I can't even bring myself to relive the anguish of watching 1/5th of my coworkers get laid off and not even being able to work off my adrenaline after work because I was scared of the drug dealers occupying my stoop. <BR> <BR> But there are some fantastic things that came out of this awful, awful week. Perhaps the most important was the moment, when thinking I would have to give up my apartment, that I felt so poignantly that I has missed my chance. As a kid, I never real... Sun, 5 May 2013 20:11:12 EST Better than the Alternative http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5338649 After our game last week, I was sitting with my football team and someone asked about who was the oldest. I knew I was. What I didn't know was that one of my teammates is having his 30th birthday soon. He asked me for any benefits to turning 30, clearly feeling less than enthusiastic about reaching this milestone. Another teammate remarked, "Well, it's better than the alternative." <BR> <BR> Roughly 2 years ago I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep unsuccessfully for hours. My mind was ... Sun, 28 Apr 2013 20:39:01 EST Cooking Through My Pantry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5337532 As mentioned in my previous blog, I'm making a determined effort to use up everything in my pantry. <BR> <BR> The first priority, of course, is anything perishable (so, more fridge than pantry). Today, I'm making pasta to toss with garlic, mushrooms, spinach, and shallots I have on hand. It will also use up the parmesan I have in the fridge and some butter. <BR> <BR> I used up a bunch of lemons I had to make some tasty lemonade (stevia extract worked perfectly) that I drank with lunch. <B... Sat, 27 Apr 2013 17:52:06 EST Weight of Fear Part II http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5336919 Success: I did 10 minutes of light strength training at home (squats, crunches, curls, etc) tonight and tracked all my calories for the day. <BR> <BR> This evening, it took a lot of control to convince myself not to eat everything in sight. I'm really proud of myself for having a snack before deciding what else I needed to eat, and then increasing slowly until I could convince myself I had enough. It worked perfectly and I stopped eating right about the 1500 calorie (for the day - not just t... Sat, 27 Apr 2013 00:02:04 EST My Third Day One :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5335522 Well, in truth, I've had a bazillion Day Ones. But this is my third, short-term personal challenge. First, I spent 3 days eating nothing but raw fruits and veggies (a surprisingly enjoyable challenge), then I spent the last 7 days trying to do some sort of exercise each day. <BR> <BR> This week's challenge is to do 10 minutes of exercise and track all my calories for 7 days. <BR> <BR> I planned my meals last night, which made the tracking part easy. That said, the day has had its challenge... Thu, 25 Apr 2013 17:00:02 EST Day 7 and Personal Exercise Challenge Recap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5334639 So, yesterday's recovery plan went well, and I accomplished all the most important tasks for the day. Today, I even tracked my calories....almost wish I hadn't, because I was hungry much of the day and I can see that eating more would just sabotage my progress. Oh well, I know it will get better as I adjust from eating-to-gain to eating-to-lose. I walked the stairs at work today, which broke up my day nicely. It wasn't anything impressive, but I walked them four times consecutively, and then ... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 21:42:37 EST Day 6 (with updates) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5332891 Yesterday was a bust, so I wanted to sit down this morning and figure out how I can make the today and the rest of the week better. <BR> <BR> First of all, I went to the doctor this morning and I'm free to use my broken fingers again. They're very very stiff, and just about everything I do with them hurts, but this is really good news. It means it might be just a week or so before I can do yoga, and a few days before I can grip the handles to use an elliptical. I'm pretty sure it also means ... Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:43:50 EST Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5332287 Ugh. I'm exhausted. I knew I only had so much time to do things today, and I blew it by staying up late and not getting the things done in advance that I needed. Subsequently, I didn't get enough sleep, didn't exercise this morning, and was still an hour late getting to the office. srsly? <BR> <BR> I thought I'd climb stairs at the office, but I was severely underdressed for the weather today (the indoor stairs are locked - I was planning to use the parking garage). I just tried to load the ... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:09:39 EST personal exercise challenge, day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5330826 I haven't been eating well today, but I did get in a short workout. I did a little light cardio with a DVD I had never tried before. It was pretty fun. <BR> <BR> I also did some much-needed cleaning today. So much yet to be done, but I'm taking it one step at a time. <BR> <BR> I also discovered - thanks to a SP banner ad - eShakti. Just what I needed! We don't have a dress code at my office, but my boss makes passive aggressive comments about the "gun show" whenever a woman in our office is... Sun, 21 Apr 2013 17:41:17 EST The Weight of Fear http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5330120 So first things first- on day 3 of my personal exercise challenge, I played football. Since I have 2 broken fingers, I really only rushed (so figure, I sprinted 5 feet every play for half the game)....but since I'm sore, I think that means it counts as exercise. Unfortunately, I also rolled my ankle - nothing even to do with the game, just a random thing. So, I think I'll have to baby it for a few days to avoid a longer term problem. Fortunately, I feel like I have ways to work around it and ... Sat, 20 Apr 2013 22:31:27 EST Day two of personal exercise challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5328447 Yesterday morning, I went for a run - it was slightly faster and farther than my first, which makes me happy. <BR> <BR> Today, I did about 30 minutes of a Bollywood dance workout video. I didn't expect it to get me sweating...but it turns out I'm in worse shape than I thought. So, I'm extra glad I kept my commitment! <BR> <BR> Yesterday, I had fruit for breakfast as planned, but skipped the nuts. I forgot to bring my salad for lunch, so I had an Amy's frozen meal. It was tasty, but I didn'... Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:53:46 EST day three http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5326924 Early this morning I had a dream in which I accidentally ate a bunch of things I didn't mean to. HAHA! <BR> <BR> In reality, though, today was a breeze. It's strange that I have had far fewer problems with hunger the past few days than I normally do. Anyway, today went well. I am starting to look forward to eating something besides fruits and veggies...but when I start thinking about what I'd like to eat, each specific idea just doesn't appeal to me. I think this 3-day stint has been a grea... Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:28:20 EST day two http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5325779 With my hand all wrapped, typing is a challenge, so I'll be briefer than usual (an improvement, I'm sure) : Today went really well. I ate more calories than yesterday, partly because I pretty much ate all fruit and no veggies. I also ate plenty of cashews at lunch, though not as many as I would have expected I'd want. All in all, I just haven't been as hungry as I would have expected... it's a little weird, actually. I haven't even hesitated when faed with temptations. <BR> <BR> I also went ... Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:33:11 EST first day of personal challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5324527 This morning, instead of going for a run, I had to visit my landlord's office to pick up a new key to my front door. Instead of running after work, I went to the ER to learn that at least one of my fingers is indeed broken. <BR> <BR> Typing one-handed makes me regret going to the doc at all - this splint is ridiculous. <BR> <BR> So I didn't have any nuts today and managed to eat a large salad for lunch. Breakfast was all fruit, and dinner - prolonged until just now - was as well....but I mi... Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:06:32 EST victory from the ditch http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5323307 The hard thing about being a regular blogger, is that it's obvious when you've fallen off the wagon. So, you already can see that I got off track. Pretty frickin' off track, too - I'm heavier than ever! But there is good news, too. <BR> <BR> The past couple weeks, I've done impossible things. I don't have it in me to go into details right now, but I succeeded brilliantly at work recently where I should have rightfully fallen on my face. And it was precisely the sort of thing that usually tr... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 22:26:31 EST Smaller Steps! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5258410 I've been having trouble getting on track, and my bad habits have spiraled nearly out of control. "Nearly", because the buck stops here. <BR> <BR> I think what I need are smaller victories to work toward and celebrate. Those 10-minute streak goals are so small. But I'm going even smaller! <BR> <BR> So here it is. Between now and next Friday, my goal is to: <BR> <BR> 1. Do 5 minutes of breathing meditation each day. <BR> 2. Do 5 minutes of body weight exercises three times. <BR> 3. Get at... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 07:59:39 EST The Middle Way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5245766 <BR> Siddhartha Gautama was a prince who had all forms of material luxuries. But when his father implored him to give up his spiritual quest in order to become king, Siddhartha asked his father if he could show him a way to be free of suffering, sickness, and death. If not, he said, then he could not remain in his palace simply waiting for these afflictions. And so he left....and started starving himself. <BR> <BR> It was a fairly fashionable spiritual idea - luxuries provided no true peac... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 23:15:11 EST The Ex Factor http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5167200 My makeup is done, my hair looks fantastic. My eyebrows have recently been reshaped and I'm wearing a flattering outfit. I'm fitter and thinner than ever and I feel great about my job. On this wonderful day of sky-high confidence, I will never ever run into my ex. Oh no. I will bump into him and his fiancee/wife on the street when I'm 30 pounds heavier than he's ever seen me, an enormous zit is pushing through my chin, and by all appearances I may have spent the night on a park bench. I will ... Sat, 15 Dec 2012 10:29:03 EST Someone noticed! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5165919 I went out with some folks I used to work with and had the most delicious lunch today! Ooooohweee was it tasty! <BR> <BR> But perhaps the most satisfying part was when an old coworker (probably the only person who could have made this comment without making me uncomfortable, actually) mentioned that I looked good in a way that made it clear she thought I'd lost weight. <BR> <BR> I was shocked. I mean, I'm thrilled with how much weight I've lost for the amount of time I've been trying. But i... Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:20:28 EST Stepping it Up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5161091 So far, things have been going really well. In fact, I can't even explain things working out as well as they have. I am grateful....and also very aware that I cannot grow complacent. <BR> <BR> Exercise has been the place where I have struggled the most, so it's where I'm focusing my efforts as I plan to continuing my progress this week. Fortunately, I don't expect to be working 14-hour days anymore, so I have more time and greater flexibility to schedule exercise. <BR> <BR> MONDAY <BR> 20 ... Sun, 9 Dec 2012 12:59:27 EST 2 Weeks in, 7 pounds Gone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5158972 I'm at that place in my personal revolution where I've made real progress, but could also lose it all as soon as I stop making the effort to keep changing. I feel pretty wonderful. In fact, the past week has been a bit ridiculous on the work-front. The hour each morning that I take to use SparkCoach and get some exercise is the ONLY time that I have spent on something that wasn't work. I get up, I spark, I go to work, I come home, I go directly to bed. It's been nuts. But I've been doing some... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 07:43:05 EST Problem Solving http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5148517 I think we too easily overlook the importance of problem solving in succeeding to lose weight. If our only job were to lose weight, it wouldn't be half as hard. But in reality, it's usually just one ball in the air, and even the best-laid plans can be easily upset. <BR> <BR> Like, say, when after months of silence, I am informed that I need to start work on a high-visibility project. Tomorrow. <BR> <BR> I mentioned in an earlier blog that I was hoping to get out of having to buy a new wardr... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 15:04:09 EST Out of the Bowl, Into the Sea http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5146671 The first week is fairyland - I'm down 5 pounds! Obvs, I didn't lose 5 "real" pounds...that's just the fun bump that comes from going from trashy overeating to a healthy diet. But it's incentivizing and exciting nonetheless. And with that excitement, everything seems possible in the beginning of these journeys, doesn't it? <BR> <BR> And then, you remember - this is going to take a while. <BR> <BR> My first week has been unusually easy because I've spent it at home. The reduction in calorie... Mon, 26 Nov 2012 04:59:43 EST Advice, Please?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5145723 I'm going to sum this up as succinctly as I can. <BR> <BR> My mother did not do a very good job. I have come to believe, as an adult, that she wanted nothing more than to be the best mother ever, and that her failure to make me ever feel safe and loved as a child was a tragedy for us both. She has never acknowledged any of the awful things she did, and I have my suspicions that the worst ones are truly blacked out in her memory. Regardless, I am no longer a big ball of rage, demanding justic... Sun, 25 Nov 2012 08:27:06 EST Planning for Success: Eliminating Diet Excuses during Transitions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5144830 For the first time in my life, I came up with an awesome budget a few months ago. It solves all the problems I've had in the past with budgeting (I've always failed with anything that requires me to write things down or track), and makes tradeoffs clear to me, and allocates my money just how I need it. <BR> <BR> The one thing that has thrown my budget off is food. My food budget is fine. BUT when I'm making a big push, for example, to install a cabinet in the bathroom, I feel justified in or... Sat, 24 Nov 2012 07:43:54 EST Planning for Success - Gap.com saves the day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5143599 After suffering through some pretty un-fun pain from sitting in my too-small jeans, I finally gave in and bought new jeans last week. $70?! I remember when Gap jeans were expensive at $48. Good grief! (The internet says cotton prices have risen....) <BR> <BR> Anyway, let's say that when I started gaining weight, I was a size X...Now, I'm a size X+8. Sigh. I suppose it's more surprising that I've done as well as I have without buying more clothes along the way, although I certainly haven't dr... Thu, 22 Nov 2012 16:59:29 EST SP - srsly? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4974157 djyall get the Daily Spark today? <BR> <BR> The top two headlines: <BR> <BR> Your 5-Minute Summer Shape-Up <BR> Summer's not over yet! There's still plenty of time to tone up and bust out that swimsuit. Our newest workout plan takes just 15 minutes per week. <BR> <BR> Quiz: Are Your Weight-Loss Goals Unrealistic? <BR> You might be committed to losing weight, but are your expectations setting you up for failure? Here's a reality check on what to really expect along the way. <BR> <BR> <... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 09:10:00 EST Accountability http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4972372 If you've been following my blogs, you know that I went off my meds about 2 months ago. Thankfully, I'm way past the physical symptoms of withdrawal, and in general have been feeling better than I was on the meds. My sleep has become far more restful and I don't find it as difficult to do thoughtful tasks. <BR> <BR> But, I'm cautious of celebrating because when I decided to stop taking my pills, I committed to being vigilant of signs that I could be headed for problems. <BR> <BR> I expected... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 08:04:19 EST Changing the Mental Game http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4969794 Let's review: <BR> <BR> I spent two weeks controlling what I eat, and lost more weight than I'd hoped for. Then I stopped controlling what I was eating for 2 weeks and gained it back plus some. <BR> <BR> What happened? How did I go from completely revved up and confident in my ability to make substantial changes to.....filling a grocery bag with junk? <BR> <BR> The answer isn't obvious to me, but I have a decent guess. In the interim, my heartstrings got yanked every which way. Actually, t... Sat, 14 Jul 2012 10:04:56 EST Different Kind of Food Stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944812 The other day at work, I got called into my boss's office to participate in a conference call. His office was cold, so I sat down wrapped in a blanket I keep at my desk, but still wished for warmth. The call ran over and I started to feel antsy - I wanted to get up and leave the room. I wanted fresh air. Or something. I wasn't sure what I really wanted, I just knew that it was starting to feel like to torture sitting there. Then I noticed I was sweating even though I had already taken off the... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 13:59:08 EST Pushing through to the Next Step http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4937412 This week has been filled with victories. I'm not only tracking my meals, but eating as planned, looking away from the treats in the office kitchen, and keeping my calories FAR lower than they were when I was roaming wild. I'm super proud of myself! <BR> <BR> I also hammered out a schedule that works for me. This is a huge load off - I realize some people might feel like it's a prison built of timeframes, but I've found in my own experience, that "playing it by ear" takes a LOT of energy, an... Fri, 22 Jun 2012 09:51:49 EST Nitty Gritty - the Deets of my Plan for Success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4934570 I tried posting these to my profile, but turns out my details are a bit too much for Spark. So, in case you're interested, here are the nitty gritty details of my personal Plan for Success. <BR> <BR> SUMMARY: <BR> Cardio: 6 days/week (this counts one workout on the weekend) <BR> Strength training: 3 days/ week <BR> Sleep: 8 hours/night <BR> Calories: 1500/day <BR> Consistency: all meals at the same time every day, waking and going to bed at the same time every day <BR> Other needs: Includes... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 11:00:25 EST Plan for Success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4934489 After yesterday's decision to get crackin' for serious, I sat down and hammered out a plan for success. A few things have changed recently that made it possible to work out a far better schedule than is usually possible for me (eg, how to make sleep a priority when some days I have to be up super early while others, my commitments keep me out late). <BR> <BR> In summary, my schedule includes 6 days of cardio/week, three strength training sessions, 8 hours of sleep every day, time for cookin... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 10:13:51 EST Ramping UP! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4933467 I took one of Spark's quizzes the other day - something about whether or not I was ready to make a change. <BR> <BR> The truth is, sometimes we aren't. And that's pretty important. One of my dear friends is continuously lamenting that she does nothing about her excess weight. She's been going on like this since I've known her. Oh, how I would love to convince herself to let herself off the hook - give her a good shake, and say "Listen, you don't really want to do anything about it. So stop b... Tue, 19 Jun 2012 16:26:35 EST The Words We Choose http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4925960 Like...the words we "choose" versus the words we "use". <BR> <BR> As I was walking to the subway after my first morning crew workout, I was exhausted and starving. I didn't want to sip on my water. I didn't want to eat my next planned meal a little earlier. I wanted to tie back my hair, strip down, and dive into a pool of food, and swim/devour my way to a caffeine bar with jugs of java the size of my backpack. <BR> <BR> Exaggeration? Well....not with regard to how I was *feeling*. <BR> <... Thu, 14 Jun 2012 09:07:14 EST Growth Spurts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4922310 Lately, I've had a shocking number of "Aha!" moments about pretty big stuff. It makes me feel pretty justified to not be seeing a therapist because I can't imagine a therapist being able to keep pace, frankly. <BR> <BR> It's exciting - I feel like the person I will become is being revealed to me, even if there's a lot of work to do between coming to terms with truths about myself or my past and transforming these into change. It also has involved more tears than I'd like to admit, as I recal... Mon, 11 Jun 2012 21:12:25 EST !#$%&!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4908874 I won't tell you the number - because for each of us it's different- but today I stepped on the scale to see if maybe my weight had budged a tad. I thought, perhaps, I had lost a pound. <BR> <BR> Instead, I found myself staring at a number on the scale that I thought was truly impossible for me...and not in a good way. I gained 4 pounds. I know you want to write it off as water weight, or this or that, but the truth is, given my situation, I'd be lucky if one of those pounds was the vanishin... Sat, 2 Jun 2012 14:40:09 EST Neuroplasticity and serious commitment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4880334 I don't mean "serious" like "Ok, Hopefill, time to take your commitments seriously." <BR> <BR> What I'm setting out to do is sort of like climbing Mt Everest. It's possible, but you need to decide again and again that you're going to do it, sustaining that commitment for a long period of time for it to be possible. <BR> <BR> I'm going to change my brain. Scientists invented a long word to take the ability to change out of the self-help section and into academic journals: neuroplasticity. S... Mon, 14 May 2012 07:32:27 EST Gambling with my life - high risk, high reward, high uncertainty http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4879237 I'm losing my marbles. <BR> <BR> There are lots of people who feel like using specific words to talk about mental health will help reduce stigma and increase the dignity of those losing their marbles. I'm not really one of them - sheesh, if we're going to talk about something so personal as one's (in)ability to determine reality from fantasy, I think the best way we can express ourselves is the best way we can express ourselves. <BR> <BR> So there it is. I'm somewhere on the path of going ... Sun, 13 May 2012 09:58:42 EST