HMMSARCASM's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=HMMSARCASM HMMSARCASM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ ugh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5250924 I feel like if I have one off day I gain like 3lbs <BR> wth? Thu, 14 Feb 2013 22:12:42 EST 2.06.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5241178 Trying to keep up with these blogs but I'm finding it hard since the baby got her helmet-shes been very cranky for the past week and I really don't know how I'm going to deal with it for the next 3 months-I hate it. <BR> <BR> two servings of a bolthouse smoothie <BR> some low sodium turkey <BR> kashi bar <BR> pirates booty <BR> chicken and broccoli and a biscuit <BR> banana with peanut butter Thu, 7 Feb 2013 07:26:21 EST 2.01.13-2.04.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5238125 A blur of busy errands and family coming into town as well as superbowl party-and bad eating. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I'm going to forget the weekend and just continue on-I'd like to focus on weights and DRINKING WATER I swear I think I'm just dehydrated from years of not drinking enough water I feel like I'm catching up from high school which I graduated in 2001... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 01:34:07 EST 1.31.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5233283 1 serving bolthouse chocolate protein shake <BR> 1 serving 50/50 bolthouse juice <BR> 1 serving strawberry banana bolthouse smoothie <BR> cheese stick <BR> turkey jerkey <BR> 1.5 slices pizza Fri, 1 Feb 2013 13:22:50 EST 1.30.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5230911 strawberry greek yogurt <BR> strawberry banana bolthouse smoothie <BR> 3 low sodium chicken slices cold cuts <BR> chocolate protein bolthouse shake <BR> kaishi bar <BR> ground chicken, spinach, olives and carrots <BR> spoon of peanut butter <BR> 2 dark chocolate squares <BR> <BR> edit: walked for an hour outside with baby and did arm exercises with weights Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:07:12 EST 1.28.13-1.29.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5229549 It's been a weird/busy week and will stay that way through the weekend. I'm trying not to stress eat but I'm finding it difficult-TMI coming-i get my period really bad and I go through every emotion in the book almost all the time everyday so that's going on plus my baby is getting a helmet on thursday (she has a slightly high crown and is a little misshapen in the back) and I'm freaking out about it I don't 100% agree that she needs it and I just don't want her to have unnecessary stress pu... Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:43:28 EST 1.26.13-1.27.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5226359 This was not the best weekend in terms of exercise and food-had a family event on Saturday and was very limited in what I can eat and drink. <BR> Saturday-(if i can remember it all) <BR> a kaishi bar <BR> a small sub sandwich that had some mix of cold cuts on it <BR> carrots and cucumbers <BR> 2 fruit kebabs <BR> small piece of cake <BR> steak tips and asparagus <BR> <BR> Sunday- <BR> oikos strawberry greek yogurt <BR> some chicken cold cuts (lost track but I think 3 or 4 slices) <BR> turkey... Sun, 27 Jan 2013 23:03:37 EST 1.25.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5223781 greek strawberry yogurt <BR> amy burrito with spinach <BR> <BR> husband brought home some bbq ugh <BR> <BR> I had pulled pork, macaroni and cheese and green beans <BR> I ate so much and so fast I just felt awful after =( Fri, 25 Jan 2013 23:16:01 EST 1.24.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5222338 Today was full on clean the house day and most of the time I had baby strapped to my chest--I didn't exercise but that has to count for something i'm beat! <BR> <BR> bolthouse chocolate protein shake 1 serving <BR> cheese stick <BR> amy burrito, baby spinach and carrots <BR> two Vitacakes <BR> <BR> baby ate at a strange time tonight and it threw me off of my eating and then by time I noticed it was already past 8 and since I wasn't starving I just decided it was too late to eat-of course no... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 22:37:24 EST 1.23.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5220834 last of the strawberry low fat yogurt-thank goodness I was getting really sick of it! <BR> last of chicken low sodium cold cuts (2 pieces) <BR> about one serving of the bolthouse berry boost smoothie <BR> Vitacake fudgy chocolate (50 cal)-so much better than their brownie for 100 cal <BR> baby spinach with steamed chicken <BR> carrots <BR> <BR> I've been so irritable this week and then realized that -that lovely time is almost here and I was really craving junk-but I had some bolthouse choco... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 22:15:10 EST 1.22.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5219278 strawberry low fat yogurt <BR> 4 low sodium chicken cold cut slices <BR> some kale chips I made <BR> 1 serving bolthouse berry boost smoothie <BR> a flaxseed, oat bran and whole wheat pita with almond butter, honey and banana <BR> two handfuls of baby spinach with steamed chicken <BR> fudgsicle <BR> <BR> did mountain climbers (i think thats what theyre called) and knocked out a 1 min 30 sec plank <BR> <BR> edit: <BR> just did some weight training Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:46:06 EST 1.21.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5218194 so tired last night-baby wouldn't go to sleep for some reason-but I'm writing today! <BR> <BR> strawberry low fat yogurt <BR> banana with peanut butter <BR> mango <BR> 1 serving of bolthouse berry smoothie <BR> steamed chicken with about two big handfuls of baby spinach <BR> cheese stick <BR> taco salad-ground sirloin, some shredded cheese,a little sour cream, taco sauce and lettuce Tue, 22 Jan 2013 08:25:33 EST 1.20.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5216267 -strawberry low fat yogurt with blueberries <BR> -one piece of low sodium chicken cold cut <BR> -heres where I went a little off track-made tacos because a friend came over and I meant to just make myself like a taco salad and not have a lot of sour cream or cheese and definitely not have it on the tortillas well I literally forgot and just ate all that-i was pretty disappointed in myself. <BR> -then I had the rest of my odwalla superfood smoothie from yesterday <BR> -a vitamuffin brownie <BR... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 22:56:08 EST 1.19.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5214881 eats: <BR> strawberry low fat yogurt with blueberries <BR> three leftover steamed dumplings with steamed broccoli and chicken <BR> mocha almond kashi bar <BR> almost half an odwalla superfood smoothie <BR> last of steamed broccoli and chicken <BR> 100 cal vitamuffin brownie <BR> <BR> exercise: <BR> actually went for a run but it was very short-felt like death finished run by walking-strength trained with weights focusing mainly on arms and squats-did 1 min plank Sat, 19 Jan 2013 22:28:27 EST 1.18.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5213637 strawberry yogurt with blueberries <BR> odwalla superfood smoothie <BR> kashi chocolate coconut bar <BR> 3 slices low sodium chicken coldcuts <BR> 3 steamed dumplings and some steamed chicken and broccoli <BR> fudgsicle <BR> <BR> *did a plank for a full minute! Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:11:04 EST 1.17.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5212211 2 scrambled eggs with spinach and the last of the picadillo <BR> 4 oz unsweetened almond milk with almost full scoop of chocolate protein powder <BR> three slices low sodium chicken cold cut <BR> amys burrito and leftover greek salad <BR> a vitamuffin brownie which tastes just like a vitamuffin top but with nuts on it <BR> <BR> edit: also had maybe a half of a cup of blueberries <BR> <BR> tooting my own horn a little bit here but I did a 50 second plank--i thought that was amazing for a chu... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 22:08:10 EST 1.16.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5210722 smoothie: 5 strawberries, two small bananas, carrot juice, baby spinach <BR> 1 oz turkey jerky <BR> chicken gyro with Tzatziki Sauce and small greek salad <BR> coconut chocolate kashi bar <BR> <BR> <BR> as a side note my mom loves to "imply" that I lose weight but then when she comes to visit all she wants for us to do is eat and especially junk-it makes me so mad. Wed, 16 Jan 2013 22:00:04 EST 1.15.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5209108 2 eggs scrambled with baby spinach <BR> Bolthouse Blue Goodness Smoothie whole bottle 320 cal 3 3/4 servings of fruit <BR> 3 slices low sodium chicken cold cuts <BR> oikos strawberry greek yogurt 160 cal <BR> 1 medium banana with almond butter <BR> 1 oz turkey jerky <BR> picadillo with baby spinach Tue, 15 Jan 2013 21:43:41 EST 1.14.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5207448 Half a Bolthouse Farms Chocolate Protein Plus Shake-210 cal (1 serving) <BR> 1 medium banana <BR> strawberry greek yogurt <BR> 3 slices low sodium chicken (cold cuts) <BR> picadillo (ground beef, onions, red peppers, tomato, spices) lettuce wraps <BR> <BR> did a little better today but I think I'm not eating enough "good" things <BR> <BR> <BR> CW: 158lbs <BR> GW: 130lbs (by November 14th) Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:30:50 EST 1.13.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5205734 chiobani strawberry greek yogurt <BR> bite of banana <BR> two slices low sodium chicken <BR> two bites rice krispie treat homemade <BR> <BR> horrible eating day <BR> <BR> edit: also had about 1 oz. of turkey jerky Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:30:50 EST 1.12.13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5203762 kinda off to a bad start- <BR> <BR> didn't get a chance to have breakfast- <BR> <BR> lunch was a chilli cheese dog, baked beans and a sweet tea <BR> <BR> update: <BR> finished the day eating strawberries, turkey jerky, 3 pieces of skinny cow (i forget if thats the name) candy and some of a bolthouse chocolate protein shake. Felt good after drinking that-I felt full and not stuffed and was at peace with the bad eating choices because we went food shopping and I stocked up on healthy choic... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:50:11 EST ok restarting...i know http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5202552 i updated my page so i wont repeat myself here--im going to try to use these blogs as a food journal. <BR> <BR> Banana with Almond butter <BR> cheese stick <BR> small piece of home made pizza <BR> home made baked spinach chips <BR> <BR> for dinner im having the last piece of pizza <BR> and fudge pop <BR> <BR> current weight: 159 lbs <BR> goal weight: 130 lbs by 11.14.13 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 18:07:00 EST Well I failed... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5040526 I was suppose to go 14 days of clean eating-that was my small goal--I had only about 3 more days to go and I failed it-I was doing awesome until yesterday-we had friends over and I had drinks, biscuits and dessert! Then today we went to the inlaws and they had a bbq and you guessed it more dessert-so I messed up my goal--there's still dessert in the house but I'm so disgusted I know I won't touch anymore of it. It's sad that the only way I can keep a goal is if I'm practically locked in the... Sat, 1 Sep 2012 21:41:27 EST Eating Clean http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5026415 Ugh-every time I say I'm going to do something I never do it so I'm going to be real careful about what I write here! <BR> <BR> I started eating clean this week-I'm on day 3 and I feel like I'm doing something wrong because it's going so well! I found some meal plans online and I circled all the things I'd eat or would try to eat and went food shopping this weekend and got everything I needed. I'd like to say my main reason for starting this was to get healthy...but it wasn't, it was to lo... Wed, 22 Aug 2012 13:15:44 EST Exercise? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4983725 I'm having a hard time fitting in time to do exercise. I'm on my feet a lot doing housework and just walking around with the baby but I wouldn't call that exercise. I'm not sure what I want to do-I do have a jogging stroller so I could in theory go out running but I dont know I'm not sure its really sturdy enough to go out running with-plus I hate running its just so hot here and then we have summer storms everyday (that's Florida for ya). <BR> <BR> Any suggestions? <BR> <BR> Also, I th... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 18:55:33 EST Starting Over....Again...Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4979601 Hello! <BR> <BR> Well I hope to be starting over for good this time... <BR> <BR> I'll reintroduce myself...I want a whole new beginning for myself. <BR> <BR> I'm 28 years old living in Florida and just had my first baby in May 2012. I gained over 50lbs or so over those months and mostly it was retained water. Since I was overweight to begin with I still have about 30lbs to go to get to what I like to call my dream weight. Right now I'm so disgusted with my body I wont let my husband eve... Fri, 20 Jul 2012 18:15:07 EST C25K Week 1- Day 2 Complete! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3476793 So, I know you're not suppose to do two days in a row-but I had so much energy tonight that I didn't want to waste it-and when I'm in the mood to do exercise I can't pass that up! <BR> <BR> I'm hurting already-and I know tomorrows going to be hell waking up but I don't care-I'll wait another couple of days before I do the third day-I have one more day and then week One will be complete-I'm really going to stick with this one this time-I can feel it! <BR> <BR> PLUS-i just got back some pictu... Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:15:49 EST wow i last blogged in february... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3473088 so...heres another starting over post I suppose... <BR> <BR> i'm just going to write the happy things today since if i dwell on all that bad i'll just cry.... <BR> <BR> <BR> anyways. <BR> <BR> I have like 96 days till my wedding-i really have like 20lbs to lose but thats not realistic anymore. <BR> <BR> Today was my first day of couch to 5k. I survived it-I didn't think i'd be able to but I did. The next day Ill do it is wednesday I suppose-i want to make sure I do the 3 days a week ... Mon, 26 Jul 2010 23:11:20 EST getting it together... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2925393 im finding it difficult to pull all the healthy living tips together at the same time. there are weeks that i'm all about exercising and cant seem to get my eating under control and then weeks where i'm eating really well but can't seem to work out. i'm failing at putting them together somehow. <BR> <BR> i know this site-as well as all healthy conscience people- frown upon any sort of crash dieting-but...i absolutely must find a wedding dress on the weekend of march 5th--thats the only tim... Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:05:26 EST lent. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2910611 i'm a little late on this topic but oh well. it's becoming really hard to find time to write in this blog but i'm going to try. im not a devout catholic by any means but when lent comes around i try to follow as much as possible. i gave up "junk" food this year and i'm already dying. i don't know what to count as junk and what not so i've been really limiting myself. the good thing is that i've been eating a lot of fruit and vegetables so thats good. <BR> <BR> on another topic-my mom co... Sun, 21 Feb 2010 20:53:27 EST ugh...just ugh. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2862009 well, i was just about to go into a long rant about hating myself-but i'm not going to do that. i've been bashing myself all day today and i just don't have the energy to continue. <BR> <BR> it just seems with all the energy i spend on thinking about exercising and reading articles and dreaming about making a healthy lifestyle change for myself i would just be skinnier and healthier by now. but alas, i am not. <BR> <BR> oh well. <BR> <BR> so i tried the pedometer thing but for some reas... Tue, 9 Feb 2010 16:05:08 EST ok...here we go again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2791743 ...I don't even know the last time I wrote on here or what I wrote about or anything like that--I'm not even going to look because I'll probably only get mad at myself for falling off the wagon yet again. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Anyway. <BR> <BR> I need to re-start. I just can't seem to get it through my head that I'm actually getting married in October. I just keep mindlessly eating and then binging. I work at a day care so I'm really trying to walk and run around as much as possible. I ... Sun, 24 Jan 2010 22:20:24 EST just got jillian michaels shred... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2148526 and HOLY CRAP!!! <BR> <BR> that kicked my butt--i thought i was going to die--i can see how she says you can lose up to 20lbs in 30 days--im dreading doing it tomorrow--i may skip it and just go to the gym instead--wow im just hoping this was the butt kicking i needed to get my self in shape! <BR> <BR> anyone else doing the shred? Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:10:52 EST back again... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2119657 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/6/8/b685691508.jpg">ok so ive totally been gone since i think March- <BR> <BR> just recently got engaged about a week ago and i'm back on the wagon. I also have a cruise on July 5th that i'd love to get in a bikini for. I still am striving to be healthy but its just so hard so therefore i'm back again. I think i need this to keep me honest and i need a place to record my food and exercise. <BR> <BR> soo hello again! Wed, 3 Jun 2009 12:34:34 EST Monday-day off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1863433 Haven't had a day off in forever so i'm just lazing around-doing some much needed laundry and cleaning--doesn't it suck that even on days off you still have to do chores around the house?? <BR> <BR> anyway i realized something this week--i gave up sweets/desserts/cookies for lent--and its killing me! but only because i've substituted other bad things like salty snack and chips into my diet instead-because i'm constantly feeling like i need a sweet snack. Luckily i weighed myself today and i... Mon, 9 Mar 2009 14:02:28 EST haven't written in a while http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1855631 theres not too much going on-but ive been so busy with work-i have been working approx 6 days a week for a month or so now and am exhausted. <BR> <BR> my one job is really physically demanding-im on my feet anywhere between 9-12 hours and have barely been to the gym because my body is literally in pain--i feel this should count as exercise because besides being on my feet i'm also bending, squating, moving these plastic rocks-and stuff like that-i work that job 3 days a week and then my othe... Fri, 6 Mar 2009 11:37:45 EST ugh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1805445 so i almost undid a months worth of progress in 3 days. <BR> <BR> I had gotten down to 139 and now i'm up at 141.2. I really over did it on the weekend and then yesterday I was home with candy, a cookie cake and leftovers from the bad weekend of eating out. And I ate all of that. I couldn't stop I don't know what was wrong with me--and boy am I paying for it today-not only do i mentally feel like crap over it but my body is crying--i haven't had a stomach ache in forever and starting last... Tue, 17 Feb 2009 09:25:50 EST ok, why do i do this to myself?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1803482 when will i learn? <BR> i obviously do not know how to eat in moderation. Some people say you can eat what you want but just in moderation. I apparently can't do this-i have no self control. I eat and eat and eat until i literally want to throw up-and I have no idea why. i was doing soo good too. Friday i was in the 139s--i haven't seen this number in over 6 years. Then saturday comes, i donate blood and i'm still like 138.8/139 and thats awesome--but then the eating begins-they gave me... Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:39:09 EST donated blood today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1798586 I wonder what this will do with my weight and appetite. I weighed myself this morning and i was 139.2--i ate a fiber one bar for breakfast and had a couple of glasses of water-then donated blood-they gave me a cookie thing after and i ate it-then got home and ate two chocolates out of the chocolates that the boyfriend got me-then we went to the mall and i had a fruit smoothie there then we got home and i weighed myself again just to see-and i weighed myself nakey and i was 139-and that was a... Sat, 14 Feb 2009 16:34:10 EST confused... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1795711 heres the problem--i weighed myself this morning and i'm 139.4 <BR> <BR> yesterday i was 139.8--and the day before i was 140..etc <BR> <BR> i seem to be losing weight...now instead of being happy-i'm weary. <BR> <BR> i dont know why i'm losing weight. Ok, and i'm not proud of this--but i haven't been exercising as much as I should and my diet hasn't been the absolute best--even though it hasn't been horrible. So, I don't get it-i'm eating more and exercising less--how is this producing r... Fri, 13 Feb 2009 11:15:55 EST 2.12.09 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1792965 im getting lazy with my blog titles! <BR> <BR> <BR> well i weighed myself when i woke up and i was 139.8 and thats a big hoorraayyy--but i dont know if itll last--i'm going out to eat two times this weekend-once for vday and the other for the boyfriends fathers bday--yikes <BR> <BR> so im going to look ahead and see what the least damaging foods will be and try my hardest to stick with it! <BR> <BR> i haven't been under 141 in years-so i CAN'T screw this up!-maybe i'll also do extra gym ... Thu, 12 Feb 2009 11:27:00 EST 2.11.09 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1790256 i had a good eating/exercise day yesterday--a bad emotional week but it hasn't interfered with my eating yet-so thats always a plus. <BR> <BR> so far its been a decent eating day today-i have a job interview today at 4 at this store pretty much across the street from me-and itll act as a second job-and i really need the money since i was out of work for 4 months-im real behind-and id love to actually start saving some money instead of going from check to check. <BR> so gluck to me! <BR> <BR... Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:54:26 EST short and sweet...well not so sweet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1786811 fell off the wagon again this weekend-well it started friday when the bf brought home some chinese food-and i continued to eat those leftovers for the entire weekend-plus we went to panera bread on sunday for lunch and then baskin robbins for dessert!!! what was I thinking!? at least at panera i had low fat soup and half a pretty ok for you sandwich and at baskin robbins i had their low fat choices-but still wow-and thus why i gained a pound from last week =( but i mean what could i expect? a... Tue, 10 Feb 2009 11:34:47 EST haven't eaten since 530am http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1773398 and that sucks. <BR> <BR> I worked today and it was go go go. I never even felt hungry though so thats a plus-but i know thats screwing up my metabolism and now i'm still not even hungry and dont know what to do-maybe a small snack and then dinner in a couple of hours? <BR> <BR> another plus for today: i didn't find myself having as much stress and anxiety as I usually get. I'm thrilled about it and hope it spreads through till tomorrow night! Thu, 5 Feb 2009 16:40:36 EST being grateful really isn't my problem... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1769561 Like much of you-I've also read that article on being grateful. I was a very pessimistic child-well not true-I was great until about 7th grade-thats when life just got hard and kids were cruel-and also my mother didn't help with her pessimism-which i'm sure is where i learned it from. I stayed with a bad attitude on life till probably 2 years ago. That's a long time to feel the way I did not to mention that I probably had clinical depression that slipped through the cracks because my mothe... Wed, 4 Feb 2009 12:25:05 EST excitement! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1763388 just got home from work and just for the hell of it i thought i'd weigh myself-havent done it in a couple of days and havent recorded it on here for a while too-so i get nakey and step on-i was 140.2!! i haven't seen 140 in forever! so thats amazing and i'm so happy about it-so since starting sparkpeople ive lost about 3lbs and i know that doesnt sound like a lot-but i haven't been able to lose anything for such a long time! I've lost almost 8lbs since december- <BR> <BR> <BR> woo. Mon, 2 Feb 2009 16:29:45 EST i dont even know http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1750527 ive totally fallen off the wagon and then rolled down a hill. <BR> <BR> since starting this job i've eaten horribly-and ive barely done any exercise-so great stuff right? <BR> <BR> its also that lovely TOM so besides the usual bloat I don't think i've yet gained anything from my bad habits and i hope it stays that way. Tomorrow is my official first day of on the job in the field training-and i'm nervous, anxious and excited about it. I'm hoping once i get in a rhythm at work i can start t... Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:08:52 EST um, so I did it again? (oops) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1725400 ok so yesterday i had a bad lunch but i think i rectified it by exercising and moving a lot while at work--but again today we went out for lunch and i ended up eating something with a ridiculous amount of calories-but i think itll be ok-and i will NOT be doing it tomorrow i refuse-i will bring my healthy snacks and my slim fast bar and i WILL eat it no matter where everyone wants to go to lunch-- (unless it truly is a healthy place-but i highly doubt it!). <BR> <BR> thats pretty much it for ... Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:58:40 EST so...i sorta want to throw up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1721148 at work everyone was getting along so well that we all went out to lunch today-and i wanted to so i could be involved and chit chat and everything-but i had brought a slim fast bar well i was so hungry and we ended up going to a firehouse subs place-and wow i couldnt think and ended up getting a medium size italian sub-i did only eat half but i just looked on the website and it was 560 cal not including the mayo i had on it! im appalled at myself for giving in like that-first time im out and ... Tue, 20 Jan 2009 16:49:04 EST woke up weighing less http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1719139 so thats good right? <BR> i'll take it-maybe slow and even slower is the way this weight will come off-granted it was only another few ounces. <BR> <BR> you know what makes me mad? wii fits scale-i guess because we do it in the living room on the carpet the scale isn't accurate- it seems to be about 10 pounds off-and because it encourages you to weigh in everyday that makes me sad because not only is it telling me a weight i wish i was but almost every time i go on it, it tells me ive gained... Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:37:09 EST