HIPPIECHIC68's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=HIPPIECHIC68 HIPPIECHIC68's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Reuniting with Lil Shel http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5505915 Some Sparkers used to follow my blogs with Lil Shel; my inner child, if you will...It has been a long time since I've 'visited' with her but she showed up as I was journaling yesterday...here is the excerpt from my journal... <BR> <BR> ...being easy on myself, though, as I recognize the behavior and sit with being scared...So...what scares you, Lil Shel? Wow...I haven't 'visited' w/her in quite a long time! <BR> <BR> As I invite her to come out, she timidly shows her face a wee bit as she ... Sun, 6 Oct 2013 11:25:47 EST It's been a long time... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5270761 I can't believe it has been so long since I posted a blog...so much has happened in these months... <BR> <BR> I guess a lot of what was bogged up inside of me was my true acceptance of who I am...makes sense to see how over the years I continually sought out approval of others since I couldn't accept the feelings I had inside my own self. <BR> <BR> As I updated my sparkpage the other day, I just decided to be totally honest and come out with the truth...I have always believed that honesty i... Sun, 3 Mar 2013 08:17:35 EST Oh, the Tricks the Mind Can Play and the Stories It Can Tell... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4905586 My self-esteem seems to have plundered back to the bottom of the barrel as of late, however, I am determined to build it back up to where I know it needs to be. After all, it is the tricks and stories of the mind that send it on its roller coaster ride... <BR> <BR> I have been spending time in meditation to determine what emotions are blocked within me and have also spent time letting them out...had some anger built up which I screamed out the other day and have been feeling somewhat better.... Thu, 31 May 2012 09:59:03 EST Life Adjustments... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4889676 Life has definitely been interesting lately...I cannot complain of boredom, that's for sure, lol! I am slowly adjusting to living alone and am now coming off of the musical...Shakespeare rehearsals start tomorrow, though so theatre remains a large part of my life...of which I am so thankful. <BR> <BR> I am really liking my new massage room at the chiropractor's office...I am enjoying the peace that I find there as opposed to the health food store. I am getting good responses from my clients ... Sun, 20 May 2012 11:52:33 EST Playing Catch Up... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4849188 I posted yesterday's blog before the end of the day, so things changed up a bit and I didn't quite get to everything on my list...so...today I'm playing catch up. This morning I had to run my car down to Pueblo and pick up the rental car...I sure hope they get everything fixed so I can be done with all this running around. <BR> <BR> I have some recall work to be done on the car in the Springs which I will try to get done within the next 3 weeks and hopefully my chiropractor and dentist appo... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:12:45 EST A Sunday for Moving On... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4847488 I started today out by making a list of things I needed to get done. The list was quite long but I knew there shouldn't be a problem getting it done as long as I didn't procrastinate...especially the way I tend to...by eating instead of doing, which simply leads me into the funk of getting nothing done. <BR> <BR> So, I moved a large wood pile, finished the office painting, moved back down into the main bedroom since Jeff is in Denver and he can use the spare room when he's down, watered the ... Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:59:49 EST Hiking Season Begins... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4845822 Today started out pretty early considering I didn't get home from karaoke until 12:30am... <BR> <BR> Woke up about 7 and got ready to go to work...headed into town and did 2 massages then drove to the trailhead that would lead me to Venable Falls. It took an hour and 20 minutes to trek the 3000 feet of elevation in 2.5 miles. When I got up there, I found my favorite large rock that had been basking in the sun and layed down on it...I fell asleep for about 20 minutes with the song of the fal... Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:50:34 EST Good Day... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4844648 Today has been a good day...a far cry from my last Friday... <BR> <BR> I put the last coat of paint on the ceiling of the office, went into town and did a massage and some errands...wanted to go to the gallery and join the art guild but they were closed. Came home, layed out in the sun and read, then moved a large stack of wood. <BR> <BR> Now I'm getting ready to take a shower and head back into town to do some karaoke with my girlfriends... <BR> <BR> Today is day 14 binge-free... <BR> <B... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 21:34:44 EST More of the same... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4835286 Today has been another emotional day for me...I think I am coping alright, though. This morning I went to a friend's house to drop something off to him and we ended up having a deep spiritual discussion for about an hour and a half...I ran to the bank then came home. <BR> <BR> Since I hadn't eaten yet I was hungry and basically had breakfast and lunch right after the other...I managed to stay away from food until about 7pm this evening when my stomach growled and I had my dinner. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 14 Apr 2012 21:29:32 EST Life's Unexpected Events... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4834108 Today certainly didn't turn out the way I would have liked...but there is nothing I can do about it...so...I choose to be happy with me no matter what. <BR> <BR> I started the day out with a 20 minute cryfest...ended the evening with quite the cryfest, too...well, the good thing is, crying is cathartic...at least I'm trusting it is since I've been doing so much of it! The other good thing is I have managed to feel all of these feelings without binging. Thought about it when my friend left th... Fri, 13 Apr 2012 22:52:53 EST Changing my Habits, Changing my Life... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4832532 My life feels like a blur sometimes...although I am on a path I question whether it is the 'right' one...I even wonder if there is a 'right' path or if it just comes down to making a decision and sticking with it. <BR> <BR> I went to sit with a Buddist teacher yesterday with my friend Jim and much of what she said made a lot of sense...some of it though, seems very strange. I am trying to sort through things and see where I land. <BR> <BR> I felt like binging tonight but I had a snack and ... Thu, 12 Apr 2012 21:23:27 EST After Being Snowed In... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4820131 Today is a bright sunny day with a projected forecast of 58 degrees...what a difference from yesterday when I woke up to about 7 inches of snow and as of this morning, I would guess we had a total of about 20 inches. Well, that's springtime in the Rockies! <BR> <BR> I had planned on hiking yesterday but obviously that was cancelled. I stayed inside and read most of the day along with getting on the internet, then my friend and I watched a couple of movies last night before bed. <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 11:14:13 EST Day 10 Binge-Free... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4809707 Today I went to Pueblo to do a massage for a fellow therapist and I'll go see her sometime in the next few weeks for a trade...went shopping and wanted to get a shelf for my office, which I'm moving this weekend to a chiropractor's office. No luck so Jeff is going to stop at Ikea on his way back from Denver to see if he can find what I am looking for...I hope they have it. <BR> <BR> He picked it up...I think it will work well in my new office...yay! <BR> <BR> Here's what today's food has lo... Wed, 28 Mar 2012 21:45:26 EST Day 9 Binge-Free... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4808032 I started out feeling pretty good today then the queasiness set in again after I talked to Jeff on the phone...I am thinking my 'sickness' is the energy I'm picking up from him...I am trying to wrap myself in a protective barrier but I'm not having a lot of luck...probably need to pull some aka cords...any energy workers out there, I would appreciate some long distance work if you get a chance...thanks! <BR> <BR> I went into town and took a load of trash to the dumpster...fencing I took down... Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:21:24 EST Day 6 Binge-Free http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4803147 Today I started out thinking of food...I had things I needed to do and I think I was trying to use food as a distraction instead of doing what needed to be done... <BR> <BR> So...I went for a walk since I wasn't truly hungry. I took my camera but didn't get any spectacular shots. It was a nice 2 mile hike with the pup. <BR> <BR> When I got back I had breakfast then went outside to start taking down the fence around what used to be the goat and chicken barn. I worked a few hours then came i... Sat, 24 Mar 2012 20:29:11 EST Summer Theater Auditions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4799513 This evening we are having summer theater auditions...I guess they want to know who is interested in which plays etc, so they are having blanket auditions or something to that effect. I am interested in the musical to take place in May and A Woman's Not for Burning to take place the end of June, first of July. That may be it for this year...we shall see. <BR> <BR> For those of you who haven't seen me around in a while, I've been hanging in there. Things were improving in some areas with Jeff... Thu, 22 Mar 2012 10:15:25 EST Tuesday's Trials... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4750235 Today will begin a trial time for me...Jeff left for Denver for his new job. I have been one to eat in secret over the years and having no one around for days will be a challenge...I am on day 135 binge-free so am encouraged that I can do it. I have actually not had a problem today with feeling like eating when I shouldn't so am happy about that. <BR> <BR> I did a bunch of cleaning to include the loft where I set up an easel to paint...I bought some canvas yesterday along with some supplies ... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:57:28 EST Changed up my plans today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4749416 I woke up early this morning with a bit of a hangover from too much wine last night...I called my massage clients and re-scheduled. <BR> <BR> After I finally got out of bed, I started making the sourdough rye bread I didn't get to yesterday...yum! Then Jeff and I went to Pueblo where he met up with a friend and I went to Hobby Lobby and got some painting supplies. I have been feeling the need to paint for a while...and one of my clients even asked me what I was painting and I said nothing b... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:39:31 EST Sunday Matinee... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4747824 Yesterday I made some whole wheat seed bread and then went into town for the Sunday matinee...it was our best show yet...it always gets to be so fun at this point...I can see how if you were in a long running show you would be able to tweak it and make it better and better! <BR> <BR> After the show we went to my friend's house for a cast party...the food options weren't very good so didn't have a very healthy dinner and drank too much wine. <BR> <BR> Yesterday's food looked like this... <B... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:44:32 EST Simple Saturday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4745500 First off, I didn't get much sleep last night after going out and 7am came a bit early for me...I got up, had breakfast, and went into town to do two massages...then...I went to my therapist and got a massage...boy was I sore...I guess slamming into the side of the mountain twice will do that to you! <BR> <BR> When I got home, I ate lunch, ground some rye and whole wheat flour and took a bath...next item on the agenda was getting back to town to the theater for our second show, which went re... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 00:44:28 EST A Fabulous Friday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4744551 Today started as I headed to the theater to carpool down to Pueblo where we did most of Act 2 of the play for a couple of classes at CSU, which went very well. Next, we went to an Irish pub and had some lunch...I decided not to get picky and ate a vegetarian dish...not vegan, I'm sure. <BR> <BR> When I got home, I only had about an hour and a half before needing to be at the theater. We got ready for the opening and it went fabulously. Afterward, we went to a bar for a couple of drinks, then... Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:49:46 EST Not Feeling So Well... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4743074 ...about a change up I made this morning... <BR> <BR> I have been craving eggs for days now...maybe even a couple weeks so this morning I decided to cave in to that impulse... <BR> <BR> I scrambled up a couple off eggs with onion and green pepper and figured since I was going off my vegan diet for breakfast, I might as well add a small bit of cheddar cheese. As they were cooking they smelled really good, just like when Jeff cooks his, and my mouth was watering. I toasted up some of the sour... Fri, 17 Feb 2012 09:36:00 EST A Busy Wednesday... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4741785 My Wednesday began with a phone call at 7:30am from the rental car company waking me up...we made arrangements with a friend to take us down to Pueblo where we got the rental car and did some shopping. <BR> <BR> I got home with enough time to scarf down some dinner and go to rehearsal...which went really well...got home and had a snack while watching a couple episodes of the Big Bang Theory... <BR> <BR> Today's food looked like this... <BR> <BR> B: Grapefruit, Potato & Veggie Hash, Hummus... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:23:33 EST Tuesday's Adventurous Events... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4739335 Today started off well enough...I went and did a massage at one of my homebound client's home...as I was driving back home looking forward to some time for myself, I spun out on a mountain road on some ice where I slammed into the embankment two times at great impact. I am okay for the most part aside from my skeleton being all out of alignment, so I am looking forward to getting a rental car and making an appointment with my chiropractor. <BR> <BR> This is definitely NOT how I planned to sp... Tue, 14 Feb 2012 23:18:25 EST Mindful Monday... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4738110 Well, I started this blog yesterday and when I went to load it, it got lost in cyberspace. <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> My day began by heading into town to do a massage, then I went to my yoga class...I am really enjoying this class...it really gives me a chance to sit with myself and breath in deeply with each pose. <BR> <BR> When I got home, I was hoping the Hungarian Goulash would be ready but the beans were only about half cooked...they were finally done when I got back later in the evenin... Tue, 14 Feb 2012 08:58:25 EST A Lazy Sunday... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4735846 We had planned on going to a hot spring today but it was going to be cold and cloudy when we checked the weather...so, we decided to stay home, keep the fire going and watch some tv. We watched 2 Nova documentaries and started a Lord of the Rings marathon...not sure how far we'll get. <BR> <BR> Needless to say, it has been a very lazy Sunday...much needed with all the busyness and emotions of late. We both fell asleep for a bit so that was nice, too. <BR> <BR> This evening I was feeling a b... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 22:03:37 EST A Long Saturday... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4734900 Today started with rehearsal at 10 am...we finished at 4pm. The first part of the day was getting the costuming done and then ran through the whole play stopping to clean things up a bit...we have tomorrow off, then rehearsals everyday until opening on Friday of next week. <BR> <BR> I came home and ate and surfed the web a bit then started getting ready for a night out with Jeff and our friends. Our favorite restaurant in town was doing a sushi night which some of our friends were ecstatic a... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:04:19 EST A Repeat of Yesterday... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4733583 Today wasn't much different from yesterday...I was at home this morning, doing some chores (to include loading up the firewood rack) and then went into town to do two massages, hung around in town and studied lines before rehearsal...and finally, rehearsal. It was our first full run through...not bad! <BR> <BR> This morning, after I ate my grapefruit, I was planning out my food for the day and was trying to figure out what to have to finish breakfast...I don't know why I went for the chips a... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:25:15 EST Another Day in the Mountains... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4732092 Today went well...I was here at the house until I went into town to do two massages...went to rehearsal and was an hour early since it would be useless to come home in between, so studied my lines some more. <BR> <BR> Came home and watched Food, Inc. and Earthlings with Jeff...he hadn't watched them before...and I cried...again. Renewed my vow to be vegan... <BR> <BR> Today's Food Choices... <BR> <BR> B: Grapefruit, Potato & Veggie Hash w/ketchup and grape tomatoes <BR> L: Shepherd's Pie <... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:18:06 EST Wednesday's Newswire... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4729757 Today I went to a counseling session which was good, I came home and made some lunch and got going on the sourdough bread for Jeff...then I started thinking about dinner...I love days in the kitchen...they are warm and relaxing. <BR> <BR> I haven't done any crocheting yet and would like to before the day is done. I have started dinner and when Jeff gets home, I'm going to have him help me finish up then we are going to do some more reading together. I'm sure that will lead to discussion whic... Wed, 8 Feb 2012 22:20:38 EST Tuesday's Temptations... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4729443 Not really...did I get your attention, though? <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> I did spend the day in the kitchen but that is always very relaxing for me and keeps me from eating for whatever reason...I made some gluten-free (GF) Carob Cupcakes with frosting, GF Peanut Butter & Banana Oatmeal cookies and before I go to bed, I will start some sourdough bread for Jeff. I put the cupcakes and cookies into the freezer so I can thaw them out as I eat them...I find this works really well not only for veg... Wed, 8 Feb 2012 18:58:54 EST Monday's Yoga and More... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4726056 Today has been a pretty good day overall...I *was* late when I went to work this morning...I left at ten after 8 but I should have left at 10 til 8...My client was already there when I got there and then I had to get my stones ready and everything...so I apologized and we were about 15 minutes late getting started...it was snowing and she thought I was late because of that...I told her, No, time just got away from me and I misplanned my leaving time...no excuse...apol0gized again... <em>198</... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 21:26:48 EST Today has been... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4721303 ...a good day. Got up this morning, talked with Jeff for a while, we decided to make a trip to Pueblo to do some shopping and take our daughter her mail so she can get her taxes done. While we met with her, she told us she had just signed a lease with a roommate so we will be helping her move on Sunday...good for her! She has been staying with friends and this is her first apartment...woo hoo; she is doing great. <BR> <BR> We did some thrift store shopping, of which I found nothing...oh, wai... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 00:07:31 EST Accountability to Self... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4719637 I've been meaning to do this for a few days now...I started a couple of blogs intending to post them at the end of the night but both times, my computer logged off and they were lost. <BR> <BR> I had not been making very good food choices and I want to post a daily blog with what I ate during the day. I am usually not on SP at night but I don't just want to post what I 'want' to eat for the day, but what actually went into my mouth...so, here goes... <BR> <BR> Today's food consisted of: <BR... Fri, 3 Feb 2012 00:30:04 EST Today's Journey... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4691137 Every day is a journey...a journey to well-being, a journey to Self. Today I vow to treat myself in a way that honors my body, mind and spirit...I may not always know what that will mean when I wake up but if I remain conscious of my surroundings and the chatter in my head, I can make the decisions as I need regarding what it is I will do to treat myself with respect. <BR> <BR> Like right now...I just finished my breakfast of 2 slices of my whole-wheat toast topped with peanut butter and app... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:34:06 EST A Little Girl Removes Her Mask... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4686987 I read a blog written by ElizaRN, Inside Secret Eating-Taking out the Truth...and it really touched my heart. I felt I was long past due for a talk with Lil Shell... <BR> <BR> As I enter my healing garden I breathe in the fresh air tinted with the smell of flowers. I take a couple of deep breaths knowing it has been a while since I have come to talk with Lil Shell. <BR> <BR> Lil Shell, I call out, wondering if she will hide as she did the last time I visited. Much to my surprise, she bound... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:00:31 EST Decisions, Decisions... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4686464 I don't mean to sound wishy-washy, but our decision for me to take an apartment has changed. Jeff and I spent the evening together the other night after I blogged and as we were reading together, we decided that in order to truly make this new relationship work, we wanted to live together. So, I will be moving back home sometime before the first of February. <BR> <BR> We will write down agreements to allow each other our own space and to make the changes we need to add to our relationship. I... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:31:02 EST My Happenings... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4681784 Let's see...I've been going through quite a bit but am taking things as they come. Wednesday we went to Colorado Springs with our daughter and had a good day...we took my car to the shop, got driven around by dd and did some thrift store shopping, and went out to the Ethiopian restaurant, and went to a past life regression. <BR> <BR> When I took my car in, they told me it was going to take about $600 to fix...they had to order the parts and when they get in, I'll have to make another appoin... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 10:29:19 EST Yesterday's Change of Plans... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4666661 Yesterday didn't go as planned...we got up at 4am and left at 5am to drive about 150 miles to the Nonviolent Communication seminar...when we got there; it was not happening...evidently we got the date wrong and there was no seminar. So, acknowledging the fact that there are no coincidences and only synergistic moments, we tried to figure out why we had made the trip. <BR> <BR> We decided to go ahead and go the the Denver Art Museum for the day instead of just for half the day...it was great.... Sun, 8 Jan 2012 17:19:52 EST 21 Day Vegan Kickstart...day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4662373 I actually didn't even eat my gingerbread cookies yesterday, but after rehearsal, went out and had a couple of hard ciders instead. Other than that, I followed my food plan and had a stress free day regarding binging...last night I was feeling sad and missing my close friend a lot but came home and journaled, cried and dealt with it in a way that wasn't harmful to myself. Big win! <BR> <BR> Today I went for my massage and it was good along with talking to my therapist and friend which brough... Fri, 6 Jan 2012 16:11:25 EST 21 Day Vegan Kickstart...day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4659234 Yesterday was kind of stressful for me a couple of times...my massage was cancelled and I felt like binging but managed to read and get out my guitar instead. Then my dinner plans were postponed an hour and I was already at Jeff's and began eating things not on my plan, out of emotions...I realized the binge urge was strong and stopped so am calling it a success. I thought about what I was feeling and why and realized I must have a strong need for structure in my life and when things go diffe... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 10:40:42 EST 21 Day Vegan Kickstart...day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4657258 I've been vegan for just over a year aside from a slip up here or there...and what got me going on a healthier track last year was the Physician's Committe for Responsible Medicines...21 day Vegan kickstart program...well...it's that time of year again and I signed up just to get the reminders, look at the menu and see how I can incorporate healthy meals into my food plan. <BR> <BR> I don't follow their plan but I really like to see how they pair things together and how I can do so on my own... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 15:04:10 EST A Glimpse into my World... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4643585 Since I've moved out, I have really been examining myself and the issues between Jeff and I...in doing so, I can see there are some areas I was holding back based on things that happened to me as a child...I've consulted with Lil Shell on these things and released them which will be highly beneficial in whatever relationship I am in in the future. <BR> <BR> Jeff and I have been going out on some dates and talking about issues and have actually made some progress in things we've not even dis... Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:52:16 EST New York now Home http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4635069 So the trip to NY was good...a bit strange doing "couply" things with Jeff when I had already moved out...I wasn't even planning on going but last Thursday, Jeff said he didn't want to go on the trip alone, especially since he bought the trip for my birthday...so we went. <BR> <BR> It was great to finally see NY, I've wanted to go since I was in high school...loved the architecture of Manhattan and loved the Broadway show Mama Mia!...My mom loved Abba so all the music was familiar. I can't ... Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:50:36 EST Taking some time for me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4625576 Just spending a little time with me today as Pastor Deb said I should...so I've been reading a little about co-dependency and self-love, reading a book I haven't picked up in a while, journaling and settling in here at my friend's house. She thought it would be a good idea to take a little time and just relax since I have a place to stay away from the stress of the marital situation...and my goal will to be to find a place of my own by the first of January or February at the latest. I guess i... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 14:24:26 EST Lil Shell and I are Moving Out... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4623730 Wow...this is going fast. My emotions are all over the place...I'm nervous, fearful, questioning myself and this whole idea...anyway...I don't want to solidify these feelings...I am also strong. <BR> <BR> I am pretty much packed up with what I feel I can take to my friend's house. She has told me I can stay there for a while...I looked at a very small apartment yesterday which requires a $500 deposit and rent is paying the utilities and taking care of the horse and cats...it is VERY small. I... Tue, 13 Dec 2011 08:03:13 EST Moving On... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4621021 When Jeff got home last night, we talked once again and decided to definitely get divorced. So... <BR> <BR> I am looking for a place to stay in my little mountain town. I sent out an email this morning to 30 people I know here so hopefully I will be able to find something affordable soon. The apartments in this town are more expensive than I can afford right now until we can liquidate some of our assets, sell our house, etc. <BR> <BR> It would be great to find a house sitting opportunity o... Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:11:01 EST Good Morning, Lil Shell... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4620031 It's been a while since I visited with Lil Shell...not because I haven't thought about it...maybe I've been afraid of what she may have to tell me...I don't know exactly what she's been thinking but I do know it is time to find out... <BR> <BR> I walk into my healing garden and realize there are weeds growning all around. I call out to Lil Shell but she doesn't answer...I begin to pull some of the weeds that have taken root in the garden...they are thorny little buggers with names like ange... Sat, 10 Dec 2011 09:26:22 EST Road Trip Home...Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4612543 After driving all day yesterday and never getting out of Florida...today we were in 5 states...first we drove in FL for another 3 hours, we hit Al, LA, MS and we're staying in TX tonight East of Dallas. <BR> <BR> I wasn't feeling very well and had to make a bunch of bathroom stops which added to our 12 hour drive...we did gain an hour so that was good. <BR> <BR> We ate dinner and now I'm on the internet but feel like heading to bed soon. Maybe I'll read but then again, maybe not. I continue... Sun, 4 Dec 2011 22:51:57 EST Road Trip Home...Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4610977 This 'vacation' has been one of closure on a couple different levels...one...we scattered my mom's ashes, which is a story in itself and two...Jeff and I have come to a more complete idea of our separation. <BR> <BR> I woke up at 4 am, even though I hadn't planned on getting up until 5:30ish, so checked email etc after I finally got out of the bed at a quarter til 5. I got an email from a friend of a friend who said I could stay in her cabin until I found other living arrangements. She calle... Sat, 3 Dec 2011 19:45:34 EST