HEALTHYNCGAL's SparkPeople Blog HEALTHYNCGAL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Mom frustrations. My parents are going to be here tomorrow for dinner. My mother has not set foot in my house in six years, and hasn't spent the night in my home in about 10 years. (They are not staying with us, though). My back has been hurting so I haven't worked the past couple days. I need to work on cleaning my house. My mom hasn't been to my house for a couple of "reasons." She says the drive is too far for her back. We have cats, and she's allergic to them. Also, although she's never said this, part of ... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 08:50:26 EST Deflation. I've been in an off-again-on-again rut for what feels like forever. I've read countless articles and viewed dozens upon dozens of videos about "living the life you REALLY want to live," yet I stay in this perpetual state of flux. Hell, it's not even really flux. I'm just always feeling STUCK. I don't "hate" my life per se...I just don't feel like I really live life. I don't live. I exist. I get up every day, do essentially the same things...never really feel fully satisfied with who I am or w... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 12:19:27 EST Best friends. Daughter has had her best friend over since this morning. We picked her up at 8am, ran a couple quick errands, and then came home. We had breakfast, and the girls have just played and visited and goofed off all day. I made lunch...and dinner...homemade pizza. We all sat around the table together and laughed. Friend is spending the night tonight. They are such good girls. I'm so glad Daughter and Friend have each other. They are so sweet. I hope they are always as good to one another as they h... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 21:41:34 EST Bargains. Accumulation. Letting go. Making choices. I don't usually spend money on "extras," but I did today. Spending money on myself is typically accompanied with guilt, but today it was different. It felt like such a treat. My absolute FAVORITE cookbook company, Gooseberry Patch, is having a "Christmas in July Sale," with many of their cookbooks 80% off. Their regular cookbooks are $17 each, but today they were only $4-5. I mean, woo hoo! I bought six cookbooks. I added up my totals before and after the sale. I would've spent $100, but beca... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 20:38:44 EST Lunch with a friend. I went out to lunch today with a friend and we had a nice time. It was a short visit, as she was on her lunch break and I was off today, but it was a good one nonetheless. It's been a very long time since I've had a female friend who actually requested to spend time with me, and one that I wanted to visit with as well. I would love to have a close girlfriend. A real, honest-to-goodness, genuine FRIEND. I have missed it so. <BR> <BR> I spent a good portion of the day working on plans for our ... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 23:09:24 EST A long day. Meanness. Today was a long day. I cleaned two houses, and Daughter came with me so I had some help. We had a pretty good day, but we worked so hard. My goodness that is hard work. When we finally got home, Husband was here, so I just heated up some leftovers for dinner. We had all kinds of good things to eat, and I was just too tired to cook. Of course I still have to clean up the kitchen tomorrow. Nobody bothered to do that. Whatever. I've been stressed all afternoon. Some girl that Daughter knows sta... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 22:55:43 EST Sunday. Today was a pretty nice day. After my interview, I came home and changed into some comfy clothes. I just kind of relaxed with the family. At 1:30, I put dinner in the Crock-Pot. Then we all got ready and went to my niece's music recital. There were kids playing the violin, or the piano, or singing, or doing a combination. My niece sang while she played the piano, and she did a great job! I was so proud of her, and it was so nice to be there for her special day. With all the past family bull$h... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 20:33:26 EST Interview. I had an interview this morning for a hotel job I applied for last week. It's for a Breakfast Hostess job that would only be on Saturdays and Sundays. This job would work for me during the summer and it would also transition well when the school year starts again. I've had kind of a hard time finding a second (or third?) job because the hours have to work for me. I can't really accept a Monday-Friday job, or any job that involves regularly scheduled weekdays, because I know in 8 weeks I'll ha... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 12:53:39 EST Dear body... Internet problems prevented me from getting online last night. We just decided to turn it all off and let it rest, to see if the problem would fix itself. It appeared to, anyway. I have been procrastinating cleaning my bathroom for a LONG time, but last night I felt a twinge of motivation so I decided to take advantage of it. We have very metallic water and we get this orange build-up inside our bathtubs, showers, toilets, etc. It's very annoying and extremely difficult to get rid of...especi... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 23:01:08 EST Bored. I didn't really do anything today. Just for fun, I drew some simple plans for our "dream house." I watched TV. Made dinner. Watched a movie with the family. Puttered around online. I've just been so BORED lately. I'm usually so busy at school and I am not working much this summer. When I get really stressed like I have been, I start feeling worn out. Being bored makes me feel worn out, too. Not to mention I'm trying to break a medicine dependency/addiction. I've gone three nights in a row wit... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 22:22:17 EST Too early to debate. I woke up around 8am, got my coffee brewing, and decided to curl up in bed with my laptop. I had this dream where I looked up this girl I used to work with on Facebook, so I wanted to actually look her up. Just before Christmas, she'd met this guy online, actually saw him in person twice, and then decided to marry him, move to Alaska, and get herself pregnant. She'd only "known him" for a few short weeks. (She is one of those women who just can't live without a man.) So anyway, I wanted to ju... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 09:11:05 EST Taco Tuesday. I subbed today. Today was alright, I suppose. This group of kids was pretty annoying, to be honest. There were only five kids in the classroom, but they were just really hyper and didn't seem to have much discipline or structure. They kind of just got to do whatever they wanted. Whenever I tried to do something, the teacher had some comment about why they didn't do it that way, or what I needed to do instead. She wasn't really rude about it. She didn't say it in a nasty tone of voice. But it ... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 20:23:05 EST Today was ok. Today was ok. Not the greatest day, but not the worst. I found out I have some more work coming, ran a few errands, came home and put groceries away, had lunch, watched an episode of "What Not to Wear" while I ate lunch, did the dishes, did a little laundry, looked through a couple books, took a cat-nap, made dinner, watched "Look Who's Talking" with my family while we ate dinner, showered, looked at a Timberframe book with Husband, and I've just been watching a little TV this evening and rel... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 21:45:35 EST Work on the horizon. Today I got a couple more cleaning jobs lined up for the month of July. Additionally, a client I cleaned for a couple of weeks ago was really nasty to me over the weekend about the rate I charged (even though it's a rate set by the club, not by me, and he'd already agreed to that rate before I did the job), but he said my check was mailed out today, so that's good. I need that money so badly. By the time it gets here it will have been over two weeks since I did that stupid cleaning. I'm also ... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 15:42:49 EST Death. I just found out a co-worker of mine passed away today. I knew who she was, but we didn't "know each other." It still just comes as such a shock. She was the one I subbed for on Thursday. She was going in to have surgery on some lumps they found in her chest. Then that morning, she was walking down the hall at the hospital and fell to the floor. She'd had a brain aneurysm. She'd had a couple of surgeries since then to try and reduce swelling in her brain...but she didn't make it. I'm just stu... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 23:08:25 EST A lazy Sunday. Today has been a nice day. I fixed the girls pancakes for breakfast. They asked me to make them and I was happy to do it. While I was cooking the pancakes, Daughter's friend thanked me for letting her spend the night. Then she leaned on me, gave me a little shoulder hug, and said, "You're like my second mother." So sweet. This kid's mother isn't involved in her life. She didn't even call her on her birthday, which was a couple of weeks ago. She has her dad, and her wonderful stepmom (soon to ... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 22:43:44 EST heart-to-heart...weight loss. Last night we had our company over. We had a GREAT time! Their daughter spent the night, so the girls have had a lot of fun as well. We had a cookout and enjoyed some great food. After dinner, we all went down to the bottom of our property and had a bonfire at our firepit. The girls caught fireflies and put them in mason jars. My girlfriend and I drank a whole bunch of wine and visited. It was so nice...a perfect way to celebrate the first day of Summer. Later on, I talked to Husband about wh... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 09:27:51 EST I spoke too soon. Now I find out that he's spent money we don't really have on TWO of those stupid electronic cigarettes. That got me curious about what else he is blowing money on. I looked at the bank accounts and instead of eating at home, he's been buying all kinds of fast food. OMG. He is 38 and even my 13 year old daughter doesn't do crap like this. <BR> <BR> I asked him about WHY he bought those dumb things. He isn't a smoker. Why in the hell does he feel that he needs those things. He just ignored me... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 16:47:18 EST Wow...just when I start complaining... Husband just got home. I'd asked him to stop by Wal-Mart on his way home and get two boxes of pet odor carpet powder with baking soda in it. I also had him buy another three-scented candle that I like, and some Febreeze. I had the windows open all morning, and the house aired out nicely. I vacuumed all the upholstered furniture and sprayed Febreeze on all the fabrics (furniture, curtains, etc). I've sprinkled the carpet powder, but have to wait a while longer before I can vacuum it up. It's a... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 13:57:52 EST GRRRR...Husband...GRRRR I'm so annoyed with Husband. I've written before that when he is at home, he is about the laziest human being on Earth. Well, today is no exception. <BR> <BR> Before bed last night, I asked him to take the dogs out to use the bathroom before he left for work this morning. He said he would. (He has this really obnoxious habit of not doing it, and blames it on not having "time" or just lets me do it and acts like he is doing the dogs some kind of favor, because by letting me do it, they will b... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 08:52:56 EST Work, pool, and pizza. I worked this morning, cleaning a house. It's for this lovely, lovely family that I have cleaned for in the past. I had to stop because I'd graduated college and was offered the job where I currently work. I offered to clean for them again this summer, because I am DESPERATE for work, and they (very enthusiastically!) said yes. They said they've really missed me (aka, my cleaning, lol) and I was so happy to work there again. They're about 5ish years older than me. They have a little girl who ... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 23:09:02 EST Unexpected Date Night. Had a pretty good day today. I worked from 9-2:30. I did cut the $#!t out of my finger today, when I was trying to cut open my avocado for lunch. It cut me so deep that it scared me. But I'm ok. I'll just have a sore finger for a few days...and probably a scar. I also have two other tiny cuts on a couple other fingers, but I have no clue how they got there. <BR> <BR> Anyway. <BR> <BR> Out of the blue this afternoon, my SIL said she was having a sleepover tonight with her girls and the nie... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 21:27:02 EST Anxiety. Phase One, Part Two -- Day 3 Today was a pretty good day. I've been feeling really anxious and worried about work, though...or lack thereof I suppose would be a more accurate way of putting it. I'm also starting to detox, since I'm at the end of my second day of Phase One. I've been headachey and kind of blah, my stomach feels a little queasy, etc. Anyway. I need to try to not stress about work. I have to stay positive. I can't give up and stress too much. I have to stay positive, and keep doing everything I can to get w... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 21:07:07 EST Being in control with fast food. I just had a fast food lunch, and I am PROUD. I never, in a million years, thought I'd be able to say that. <BR> <BR> I had made plans to get together for lunch with a friend of mine. We'd decided on Wendy's because of their Dollar Menu...come to find out their "dollar" items had either gone up in price, or down in size. At any rate, she wasn't able to get together for lunch after all, so I decided when I went out to pay a bill, I'd just pick up some lunch at Wendy's for Daughter and myself... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 13:09:28 EST Lost almost 3 pounds! I've lost almost 3 more pounds (2.8)!! I am only 0.6 pounds away from being at the weight I was a month or so ago. I am sure I will not only be back to that weight soon, I will PASS it soon! <BR> <BR> I just realized that this puts me back at a 25 pound weight loss! YAAAAY! (25.2 to be exact! Yahoooo!) <BR> <BR> <em>521</em> Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:31:17 EST Another pretty good day. Phase One, Part Two -- Day 2 I subbed at school today. I was in a two-year old classroom. That was fun. They're so much smaller than my Pre-K kids! Plus there were only six kids -- I had 15 in my room at the beginning of the year. Anyway, I worked with a nice person and we had a good day. My hours were a little different today than they usually are, but it wasn't really bad. The day seemed to drag on a bit, but it was bearable. After work I grabbed a couple things from the grocery store, came home, and made dinner. I mad... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 21:52:53 EST Plans vs. Reality <img src=""> Tue, 17 Jun 2014 07:39:04 EST 40 Healthy Snack Ideas Saw this this morning and thought I'd share. Here's to happy, healthy snacking! <BR> <BR> <em>265</em> <em>289</em> <em>277</em> <em>550</em> <em>491</em> <em>258</em> <BR> <BR> <link><BR>k-clean-eating-40-non-processed-snacks<BR>-for-busy-moms.html?c=jer </link> Tue, 17 Jun 2014 07:36:17 EST Had a pretty good day :) Phase One, Part Two -- Day 1 Today was a good day all around. After the way I've been feeling the past few days, it was quite an accomplishment for me to get out of bed today. Not only did I get out of bed, I got dressed, did my hair, brushed my teeth, and made my bed. This is HUGE for me on days when I don't "have to get up" and face the world. But I did...and I'm so glad I was able to pull myself up and be productive. <BR> <BR> I got quite a few things done around the house today as well. I did two loads of laundry (a... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 21:34:53 EST Relief. Today is a good Monday, and it's not even 11am. <BR> <BR> I've been so worried about having no cleaning jobs. It's really messed me up, physically and emotionally. This morning, I got a call from school, and I was offered a substitute teaching position one day this week. It's just one day, and hopefully I will get more, but I am SO GLAD I called last week and asked to be put on the sub list! Holy cow! What if I hadn't done that?! I wouldn't have gotten this call. It's only Monday, and I've ... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 10:56:29 EST Lost 1.2 I weighed myself the day after we got home from vacation, and I was just over 200. I was 200.4 in fact. I weighed myself just a few minutes ago and I've lost 1.2, bringing me to 199.2. I'll take it! I haven't done a lick of exercise and haven't had the best diet, either (nothing atrocious, but nothing pristine). I am glad to be back under 200. I want to make a vow, here and now, to NEVER see 200 pounds on a scale...EVER AGAIN. <BR> <BR> This was just the little boost of motivation I needed.... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 10:10:55 EST What the...?! So I've been making calls and sending emails ALL DAY. I've also been looking over other job opportunities for next year. I'm not "planning" to leave my current job, just wanting to see if there is a better opportunity out there. I've been looking at different websites for different schools in the area. I breezed past a bus driver position. <BR> <BR> THAT POSITION STARTS AT MORE MONEY THAN I'M MAKING RIGHT NOW! <BR> <BR> I'm an educated person. I have worked hard. I have an AAS Degree, and... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 15:16:49 EST grrrr so annoyed I'm SO annoyed! <BR> <BR> A few weeks ago, I wrote an entry about cleanings...about how the person who schedules these cleanings kept saying she'd have some for me, but then towards the end of school she said she wouldn't have anything until the end of June. <BR> <BR> Well, I've only done 3 since then. Now that it's the middle of June, she FINALLY gives me a list of cleanings today. <BR> <BR> THREE CLEANINGS. And they're in July. <BR> <BR> So, it's very hard to not get incredibly pissed... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 12:40:16 EST Well, I'll be dipped. Husband came home with a brand-new weedeater, and was quite excited about it. He ate dinner and then went straight outside and started using it. He said he wanted to get it over with, because he is working on Saturday and doesn't want to do it on Sunday (Father's Day). It isn't his most selfless act, but I'll take it. The weedeating is FINALLY getting done, so I choose to be happy about that. Thu, 12 Jun 2014 19:45:49 EST Just a Thursday. I started to post this as a response to a comment, but decided I would post is as another entry instead. <BR> <BR> So often women are responsible for the house and family. Let's face it...we're good at it! Just like men are so good at doing their jobs. I don't mind being the one who's mostly responsible for the house and family. I don't mind that at all. That's my job. That's what I signed up for. I do my "work" around the house, and I expect Husband to do his...only he doesn't. Every day, ... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 16:59:17 EST Broken promises. Laziness. Alone. Flat. I'm so frustrated. I went on an a lovely vacation with Daughter. We left Sunday morning, and we got back yesterday evening. Husband has this incredibly annoying habit of never doing anything around the house while I'm away. <BR> <BR> Ok. Let me back that up a little bit. He has this very annoying habit of never doing anything around the house. Period. He does almost nothing around here. The only thing he does, is mow the grass every few weeks, weedeat every few months, and take out the garb... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 17:26:16 EST Vacation is over. Back from vacation. *tear* <BR> <BR> We had a wonderful time, and I'm already having beach withdrawals. I started planning our return trip before we even left. <BR> <BR> But vacation is over now. First day back to reality. I promised myself when I got back I would go back on Phase One...or start a juice fast...or something to help myself get back on track, since I was off track for about 2-3 weeks before I even left... I just ate cold macaroni and cheese with ranch dressing. I guess I feel... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 11:31:37 EST How Weight Loss Works <img src=""> Sat, 7 Jun 2014 00:27:17 EST Bought a new top! I went into this store today because a friend of mine told me they had beach umbrellas. While I was there, I looked around at their clothes. I actually ended up trying on a whole bunch of things. I wasn't crazy about everything I tried on, but I was happy that there were some things I could actually wear. I found myself a CUTE top, and I bought it! I'm so excited that I found a new top to wear! <BR> <BR> It's the little things that make me smile. <BR> <BR> <em>41</em> Fri, 6 Jun 2014 11:55:42 EST Pampered. I had a nice day today. I spent most of the day alone, but I honestly didn't mind. I need solitude sometimes. After Daughter got home from school and Husband got home from work, he took her to the carnival so she could unwind a bit, now that testing is over (for this week). Then they came back home to eat some dinner and he took her to see the new X-Men movie. Other than that, I have been alone all day...and it's been really nice. <BR> <BR> This morning, I had a bowl of cereal and coffee in... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 21:49:04 EST Creating a new look for myself. I've been planning my "weight loss makeover" for a few days. Once I get to my goal weight, I want to completely change my look. I used to be very stylish, very focused on my appearance. I don't want to make it sound like I was vain, because I wasn't. I just mean that I actually put effort into how I looked. I wore full makeup every day. I took some time every day to think about what I would wear. I put outfits together. I got my hair cut and dyed every couple of months. I did my nails. I fixe... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 10:06:38 EST Hitting the brakes...getting back on track. Summer vacation has just begun, and I'm already feeling frustrated. I've been SO BORED, too. I think it's mostly because I've gone from going 100 miles an hour at school to doing nothing. I don't know what to do with myself. There are plenty of things around here to do (clean, organize, etc) but I just haven't been in the mood for that right now. So I've been struggling with boredom and stress and happiness and I've been emotionally eating again. I've been eating the wrong things. I've been e... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 20:21:37 EST Going back to school. Since I graduated with my AAS Degree a couple of years ago, I've been toying with the idea of going on and getting my Bachelor's Degree. For about a year after I graduated, I was DONE. But for the past year or so, I've been going back and forth. I just couldn't decide. I've finally made the decision to go back to school and get my Bachelor's Degree. This afternoon, I spent about two hours applying to the school, then applying to the program, then applying for financial aid. Sheesh! What a pai... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 18:01:36 EST Having a pretty nice day. Not long after my last blog entry, I was texting with my two SILs. Turns out they were going for a walk with all my nieces at 10:30 and they invited me to go along. I agreed, and met them over there. We went on a nice walk, for about 30 minutes. Some of the girls had their scooters, some had bikes, others just walked (there were five girls total, and the three of us SILs). My SILs both brought their little dogs too, so even they got in on the walking. It was a nice time. It felt good. It was ... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 13:33:46 EST I hate lying. My husband is a LIAR. <BR> <BR> I was going to pay a bill on Monday after work, but Daughter had come home early from school with a migraine and wanted me. I asked Husband if he would pay this bill and also run one errand for me after work, so I could go home to be with her. He kind of gave me a hard time about it, but then agreed to do it. <BR> <BR> Yesterday in the mail, I got a notice about this bill. It was $50 more than what he said we needed to pay, so I texted him, asking him how m... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 08:49:20 EST child...bad mother. I'm not even sure what the point of this entry will be, other than to just get something off my chest. I was looking at part of a video earlier, that didn't really have anything to do with this, but it (very) briefly mentioned Amanda Todd. She was a girl who committed suicide after she was mercilessly bullied. She made a video on YouTube about her experiences before she ended her life. I haven't even thought about that in years, but after seeing that quick snippet on that other video, it made... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 22:52:45 EST Days 83 & 84..and the LAST day of school! Work today was good. It was a teacher workday, and I went out to grab lunch with three of my co-workers and also my supervisor (she's cool though, not a stick-in-the-mud like many supervisors are). You can just be yourself around her. We all rode to get our lunch in my van. I offered to drive because I have seven seats in my van. It was nice to go grab lunch with other adults; nice to feel like a grown-up for a change. I got the Zensation salad from Zaxby's. It was good! <BR> <BR> All year, ... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 20:32:04 EST Days 81 & 82...LOTS of cleaning. Yesterday was my final day with my kids. It was a nice day, but I was still really upset from what happened the night before. I was VERY uncomfortable all day long. I have gigantic bruises on both of my arms and a puncture wound on one of them. I tried covering them with band-aids but that didn't really help. If anything it just made them more noticeable. I ended up wearing my fleece jacket all day because I didn't want anyone to see my arms. I was pretty miserable, due to the pain, and the f... Sat, 31 May 2014 22:19:53 EST AWFUL evening. I have an older dog. She is 13. She's always been REALLY crazy-insane-OCD-picky about going to the bathroom outside. Always. Ever since she was a puppy. She does #1 ok, but #2 has always been really frustrating. She has this thing about her feet. She doesn't like to go in the grass if it's wet...that's just one of her frustrating habits. She's just really annoyingly picky about going #2. The past year or so, she's gotten increasingly picky about it, to the point that she's almost refusing to ... Thu, 29 May 2014 22:06:33 EST I AM SO ANGRY! GOD sometimes I just wish I could completely blow up at people!!! <BR> <BR> I am out of work during the summer, and have been cleaning at this country club for about six years. It's a seasonal job, and it's one that I've been doing during the summers. Obviously. So back at the BEGINNING OF APRIL, I contacted the club to let them know that since the season was approaching and beginning to start, I'd be available on nights and weekends for cleanings, until I got out of school on June 3. After ... Thu, 29 May 2014 18:03:10 EST