HAWTGRANNY2014's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=HAWTGRANNY2014 HAWTGRANNY2014's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ A new day to be alive, kick don't let the negative break through your walls. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6167992 Good morning beautiful people. It is a glorious day. We have a day full of life to live. I am going to get in my 10,000 today but it is up to you to rest or move. It is your day. You make it positive or you can let the negative in to ruin it. Lets get positive. <BR> <BR> We are all beautiful and I think half the battle is loving yourself. If you love yourself, you want what is best for you and your body. It is not selfish to make time for you and to make life wonderful. Our family needs us ... Sun, 22 May 2016 08:39:04 EST Fat is a word that should not be heard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6167046 F orever feeling down <BR> A ccused of eating everything in sight <BR> T ortured because of your size. <BR> <BR> Fat is just a word. You can say it or write it or just ignore it. It makes us depressed, sometimes ill and feeling worthless. People who don't know what it feels like sometimes make fun of those who are large. Don't let it get to you...take it down. Make it go away...fat is not a thing that is conducive to our health. It eats away at our body and brings it down. <BR> Get rid o... Fri, 20 May 2016 15:13:15 EST leaders are people too..transforming your mind to believe in you. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6166980 Maybe as a leader we are expected to know things and be role models....only thing is we are human. Maybe some leaders have accomplished amazing things and can live up to that...but not me. I have lost over 80 pounds but 63 of that was from bmi gastric sleeve surgery. I am like you fighting every day to lose and keep off those pounds. <BR> <BR> Actually I think a leader is someone who shares your journey and tries to help you along the way. We walk beside you not ahead of you. We have he... Fri, 20 May 2016 13:10:06 EST A new day, a new team and a sample of my team newletter, help us grow. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6166779 May is the month for renewal and a start for a new team. It may be small but it has heart and I know it will grow. If you want to invite friends or someone else be my guest. I used to think a team needed a big amount of people but now I think it just needs people who care and need to share their journey..so we can help boost them and ourselves along. So lets finish May in a strong way. I know we all have the capacity to do this and all we need is to find that something that makes us want... Fri, 20 May 2016 08:08:07 EST New team of sharing the journey together http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6166415 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/95115003-273d-427e-a26b-7dcee1989e04.jpg"> I wanted to start a team where we can all share our journey,any age or gender. A team where members are important and can start posts....challenge themselves or not. The choice is yours. I wanted a team where we can share our triumphs and our downfalls. A team that wants everyone to succeed. I had the him surgery gastric sleeve but you don't have to have surgery to succeed. Many people have done i... Thu, 19 May 2016 15:58:50 EST I made it over 10,000 steps today. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6162517 I walked 11,122 steps today. I have never even made it to 10,000 before. I am so excited to have made it that far. I am feeling really good. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/268326b6-293c-4c7e-9ced-818469940514.jpg"> Sat, 14 May 2016 00:47:42 EST my emotional eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6161387 This month is hard...my first mothers day without my mom...my Jack died on mothers day a year ago..and I am an emotional eater I have slipped a few times this month and a few last month. I am not proud of that only trying to grab a hold on it before I crash and gain. I can not let that happen. I have done so good and really thought I had it under control. I had a few pop tarts a couple of times and today a piece of my grandsons birthday cake. I have not been on much lately.trying to get... Thu, 12 May 2016 09:27:29 EST such a crazy month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6136423 I have been in the hospital,fell, got really sick but yesterday felt much better. I am so sorry geckos. Going to try and get on the computer tonight. I don't know Ow why I can't get to teams on my kindle unless I am doing something wrong. If I don't get on can a gecko put in my weight 210. Hope it still counts. Wed, 6 Apr 2016 14:31:48 EST Thank God for facebook http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6132071 I fell a few days ago and hit my head on the corner of the kitchen island counter. I can't get up once I hit the floor. I fell face first and turned over. I scooted on my bottom to the living room, only to remember my phone was on the counter in the kitchen..so I cornerback. I was in a panic and tried many times to get up. I had a large bump on my head and it felt wet. I scooted over to a drawer and took out the waxed paper. I could not see up there to where my phone and tablet were. ... Thu, 31 Mar 2016 21:47:12 EST 70 pounds down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6124530 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/69befc1a-b32b-42ab-a652-95f8c427caf3.jpg"> I had my gastric sleeve surgery 3 months ago and since then have lost 51 pounds but with the weight had lost before down 70 pounds. I now weigh 218 and only 19. Pounds to go before in will be under 200. I don't remember the last time I was there. It has been a journey of ups and downs but the only complication so far is the constipation and I had that way before surgery. I have slowed way down on t... Mon, 21 Mar 2016 16:26:13 EST If you feel like quitting... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6105969 <BR> <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgCRgjn4fI8 </link> You want motivation? You can do this! Not tomorrow but start today. <BR> <BR> Remember that song....I believe I can fly?" <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbUpPVOEkdA </link> <BR> <BR> I know we all have it inside. We just have to believe it. When you feel like you can't do it anymore listen to this song and let it bring out that strength from within. I know you can and I believe in you. What have you go... Sat, 27 Feb 2016 09:44:12 EST Going to make March my do it month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6101686 Going to take each day and do something either fun, learning or getting things done. <BR> <BR> 1. going to get that sewing table and material to get sewing again. <BR> 2. going to get a spring purse for fun and organization <BR> 3. going to organize my desk and room <BR> 4. going to read that book I started. <BR> 5. going to list one week at a time so I get it done. Try a new recipe <BR> 6. going to walk 20 min at a time and dance for 10 <BR> 7.My day of rest and time to make a list for ne... Sun, 21 Feb 2016 23:59:36 EST Trying to bring the me I want to be...out. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6098804 Having a little trouble this week. My feelings got hurt but for the better. I thought I was a team player but was told.." I like to take over and run the team." Not a good thing for a team leader to hear but maybe they were right. I thought I was posting a lot to get people to be interested enough to come back. Maybe I do like to feel needed. Is that a bad thing? <BR> I know the person who said it meant well and maybe I took it the wrong way. It just hit my heart and hurt. <BR> Any... Thu, 18 Feb 2016 07:46:39 EST Back in the groove with new internet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6065355 doing good. Lost 30 pounds since the 2nd of Dec. Tuesday I get to add 1/2 cup of veggies to my protein. Have been waiting for that day. Just eating meat, cheese, eggs and fish can be pretty boring. Now I can have beans, so chili and tacos with 1/2 cup of lettuce and tomato mixture or salsa sounds like heaven. <BR> I notice my pants getting bigger and funny thing, my feet fit my shoes better. I still can't have fruit or any starchy veggies but will have a bigger selection. I am going ... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 23:54:15 EST 21 pounds down since Dec.2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6051165 I am still sore but not really craving food or sweets. Didn't get my water or walking in yesterday. For breakfast I usually eat half an egg with a little cheese and garlic salt. For dinner decided to try something different so I pureed tuna and mayo to baby food texture. Good but looked like baby food lol We think we might have found an internet provider but may be a little before we get it in. We have not called them yet. Today is moving day. I will have internet on my phone but don't k... Tue, 22 Dec 2015 10:22:13 EST will have no internet for awhile. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6050209 I will be gone, don't know how long. We are moving and have no internet but one in that area. It is very expensive and very bad service. We are looking to try and find something but don't know how long it will take. I will carry you all in my memory and wish you many blessings, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Pam Sun, 20 Dec 2015 12:13:45 EST Day 9 A lot of thought about what I can learn on this journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6044905 I have been up and down so many times and when up I lose all sensibility and eat the things I shouldn't because a I have that false sense of security that everything is ok. This time, with the surgery, it takes you slowly through many phases of eating and limits the amount you can eat. I think maybe an old dog can learn new tricks. <BR> <BR> Many times I have gone through pain, surgery, 2 cancers, an infection surgery where I had to be cut from one side of my stomach to the other and more.... Wed, 9 Dec 2015 13:07:40 EST day 8 of my two week preop diet, 7 more days til surgery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6044335 Most of you know I am going to have the gastric sleeve surgery Dec. 15th. They cut your stomach to the size of a banana. You go on a 2 week preop diet and then for 2 weeks after the surgery your protein has to be pulverized in the food processor. Then you get soft food and it progresses slowly from there. <BR> <BR> Well I get to eat 2 protein shakes, 2 cups broth, 2 sugar free jellos,2 sugar free popcycles, 4 oz. protein(meat, eggs or cheese) and a half cup of veggies a day. Sounds like... Tue, 8 Dec 2015 13:51:27 EST What is it that we are missing? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6033898 Sometimes I think we lose focus on ourselves by always focusing on food and not include health in the equation. Some people are thin and see themselves as fat. Some are afraid to eat a tiny bite for fear they might gain an ounce. Me I sometimes focus on food so much that I am hungry all day. <BR> <BR> Because of my diabetes I am supposed to eat the same time every day. Well I might not be hungry at that time. I do the same things every day and I have been trying to break those habits.... Tue, 17 Nov 2015 21:41:02 EST To honor those who fight for our freedom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6030428 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/5dfffe53-eb4d-4a0c-a651-95d1cfd870f7.jpg"> I hate war but when we are attacked we have to fight back and many die to save us from this horrible fate. <BR> <BR> My grandson is only 17 yet he went to take and sign up for National Guard. I am very proud of him yet afraid , he too, might someday become a casualty. <BR> <BR> I pray that this need for war stops and all nations live in peace like it was meant to be. I pray the greed that some ho... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 12:17:17 EST me time? What is that? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6025525 I like this article: <link>www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellnes<BR>s_articles.asp?id=1657 </link> <BR> <BR> How many times do you say " I don't have time for me."? Oh my Why not? <BR> Are you seriously taking care of everyone else and their needs to feel guilty taking time for yourself? How do you say....Why am I so run down? Of course you are. You are rushing everyone around here and there, making meals, cleaning house and some of you holding down a full time job. Give yourself a b... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 17:15:06 EST Getting out of lost hope and into sparkland despite the flying monkeys http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6020361 Once upon a time I was overweight and stuck in a place called " lost hope." I hated living there. <BR> Everyday the old witch ( mayor) sent her flying monkeys, also called triggers, out to tempt us with lots of sweets . <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/3c0089db-f3a2-4b61-9576-d996dddae0a8.jpg"> She was so persistent that you couldn't resist for long and besides the treats were so good. <BR> <BR> Why did she do this? She had been overweight her whole life and didn't want an... Sat, 24 Oct 2015 11:17:07 EST A picture is worth a thousand words. Can you guess what it says? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6020312 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/b499dcab-6666-4ade-bccf-d27e4809895c.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/abefcfd0-2413-46fa-8768-1fe32703953e.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f2c0a471-e555-4323-bc2e-3fbec93ab368.jpg"> Sat, 24 Oct 2015 10:02:41 EST outlining my plan in a blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6020036 1.Keep away from the Halloween candy. . <BR> 2.Drink one protein shake, at least , a day <BR> <BR> 3/ Keep eating on a saucer because it makes you feel fuller by looking like more food. Good portion control. <BR> <BR> 4. Keep trying to cut down on sweet snacks and get more fruit and veggies next grocery day. <BR> <BR> 5. Do strength training at least 3 times a week. <BR> <BR> 6. Dance or do cardio at least 15 min a day. <BR> <BR> I am trying to make healthy habits by doing things and... Fri, 23 Oct 2015 20:14:33 EST Am I pretty, thin , or even worth bothering about? Do I deserve it? I have failed so many times. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6019304 You bet your bottom dollar! Maybe I am not a movie star or a model but I am me and that is beautiful. Boy a few years back I would have said no...I am not pretty and I am just an average person with a personality complex and down on myself. Even though my hubby told me almost daily that I was beautiful and the best thing in his life was marrying me. I didn't take compliments well. <BR> <BR> Well I guess as I got older there were more important things than how pretty I was on the outs... Thu, 22 Oct 2015 11:05:29 EST In a funk, didn't lose this week, then get out of that and move http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6018867 I did eat to much this week and didn't lose....my fault. I was in a funk and am an emotional eater....although better...not done. I ate chocolate chip cookies for a few days. Traci made homemade ones and I can't expect them to not have things like this around the house. It isn't there fight....it is mine. <BR> <BR> I have been wanting to pick up a phone and call my Mom but that would be very long distance since she passed this year. I wanted my hubby to just hold me and tell me it was ... Wed, 21 Oct 2015 16:10:31 EST Give up or get up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6013923 I have been fighting cutting carbs doen. It just seems the more I give up carbs the more I want them. Have not been doing bad exept for a couple of days . we can do this. <BR> I know how hard it is. I have been there many times. Today has been ok so far and might just drink a shake tonight not sure. <BR> <BR> Hey why don't we just take it one meal at a time and focus on that meal then put the food in the tracker before we eat it to see how bad it will be. Sometimes when the calories and ... Mon, 12 Oct 2015 18:32:30 EST I gained a pound this week but not the end of the world http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6010973 I hope this one doesn't vanish like the one I started. <BR> I did gain a 1.2 pounds this week and I am not proud. I made mistakes. No mean fairy waved her wand and made it happen. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/10c01ac9-fd18-4ca9-8dfb-dc47c52b8a1d.jpg"> You lost 5.2 pounds last week. Why should you be happy 2 weeks in a row? hehehe <BR> <BR> Well I am telling you that this is a new week and I will take down the scale, you and your flying monkeys too..hahaha... Wed, 7 Oct 2015 11:17:23 EST Never give up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6007502 Wow have not written a blog in awhile. So much going on. Joined the blc again and hope to make it all the way through this time. As you know my Mom and hubby passed away in the last year. I have been trying to adjust and doing pretty good. <BR> <BR> I have started and restarted different diets but I have never really given up on myself. Seems like I have been doing it forever. I am 66 and have diabetes. <BR> <BR> I just want to tell anyone ready to give up... Don't do it! Even if it ... Thu, 1 Oct 2015 15:02:50 EST Help I am in a sugar nightmare. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969884 Remember that song going in circles....I am doing that. I am going around and trying to limit sugar...making a tiny bit of headway...but still going to do it. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/d2bc5818-fd67-4c0a-81ff-c49716c4bbc6.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/3f494241-c9f8-4197-8b0f-19fcefd94311.jpg"> Maybe this would be less calories. What do you think? Gross! <BR> It just seems like it is calling my name. <BR> <BR> Why can't I savor the ... Fri, 31 Jul 2015 18:22:35 EST My mouth is out of order...help! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964337 Who am I? DO you know me? I am ever changing lately after Years of being myself. I am me...that is for sure. Sometimes opinionated. Sometimes unsure of what I want to do and who I am. Funny I have known me for years and just realized lately that I want to be someone else...my real self. My inner self. I know I want to find my hippie but also I am hankering to have more meaning and fulfillment in my life. <BR> <BR> I love to help people find themselves and I am in the house most of th... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 11:48:11 EST I am down, rained out and a little desparked. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958268 I just am so tired of this rain. It rained again last night and supposed to rain again tonight. <BR> I am tired and my good mood has faded for the last couple of day. I am eating too much, sitting too much and down in the dumps too much! <BR> I am trying to get someone to help me on 55+ because one leader has her hands full, another is taking care of her husband and has her hands full too. I don't know where one of them is or if she is even on spark anymore. I am feeling a little out of... Thu, 9 Jul 2015 20:15:27 EST trying to find the hippie side of me and making choices http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5951802 Did you ever feel like you are just now learning what it feels like to listen to a freer, more relaxed side of life, without worrying about what is coming tomorrow? I was feeling lost this last few years of health problems and hubby problems and wondering where to get the money to pay all these bills? <BR> Well I have been thinking...you can only do what you can and pay what you can. Your health is not worth tearing down by all these worries. You can only do what you can and money can only... Sat, 27 Jun 2015 12:42:42 EST doing tai chi in the sharing the journey team http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5950950 we started learning about and doing tai chi just today in the " Sharing the journey" team. <BR> If you are interested in checking it out go to <link>www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes<BR>sageboard_thread.asp?board=27086x61293<BR>x61850131 </link> hope you give us a peek. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c17d7c76-b2fb-4c1c-9243-d46542e575c9.jpg"> Thu, 25 Jun 2015 18:08:27 EST Inspiring video, I cried and Get up and Move it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5950817 I started back on my protein shakes today now that I am taking Magnesium. It does help my constipation but there are also warnings, so if you do it, make sure you read the warnings and talk to your doctor. The shakes do fill me up better. <BR> <BR> I also started a 30 day , small changes from spark challenge central. Never even noticed this before but there are all kinds of challenges and you can do them at your own rate. Looks like a good plan but did not read through it so each day wil... Thu, 25 Jun 2015 12:05:54 EST I don't know what it is but I want to feel this way forever http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5947789 It seems like a fog lifted this morning and I have taken a fresh breath of air that is filled with dreams and hopes. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I could float above the clouds and find myself in Oz. I don't know what it si but I want to feel this way forever. <BR> <BR> Remember that song " He ain't heavy, he's my brother." I wish all of us could just treat each <BR> other like family without sibling rivalry lol. The movie delivery man held that message and more. Even thoug... Fri, 19 Jun 2015 14:12:05 EST chained to the toilet...rated R for seniors http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5947719 I am listening to the gentle lulling of a buzz saw. They are cutting up the almost half a tree that fell and then , not sure when, the landlord is getting the rest of the tree cut down. Hopefully soon because there is another big branch just hanging up there and it looks like more rain, hopefully without that severe wind. <BR> <BR> I started magnesium last night to hopefully control constipation. They say it takes a few days so the waiting begins, Call this the days of constipation. Good dr... Fri, 19 Jun 2015 11:12:04 EST Big wind, half a tree gone almost. Hit a little of the house next door http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5947347 Wind so strong , the rain was going sideways and I heard something hit the house. I got up and saw a kind of big branch in the front yard and thought that was what it was. It is what hit the house but I thought that was all.....Psych...the tree in the back yard, part of it split and 3 giant branches and part of the tree is between this house and the one next door. Most if it is in our yard but the top of the tree hit the gutter on the house next door. It just missed my grandson's grill. ... Thu, 18 Jun 2015 17:32:14 EST I have to get up! I have to move on! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5946380 Well I guess I am starting a new chapter in my life that I don't have a choice about...a widow. <BR> What a strange word...almost like window. I have to wipe off the fog and see where it leads me. I sometimes feel lost but not helpless. <BR> We can do this . We can jump start our day just like we can jump start our weight loss. I believe in you. I know you can do it and so can I...but how long are we going to drag along. We need new purpose and new energy. Do we have it in us? You... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 23:22:17 EST love this...Plus new chapter in my life. I am going for it. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5946361 The Mayonnaise Jar <BR> <BR> When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee. <BR> <BR> A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. <BR> <BR> When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls. <BR> <BR> He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. <BR> <B... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 22:53:28 EST My clothes fit better and day 2 of the challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5945572 My clothes do feel loser but don't have my scale here yet to weigh in, Crossing my fingers. <BR> Those protein shakes had better be doing something. <BR> <BR> Day two challenge. did my chair salsa, doing the denise Austin funk dance after writing this. We have to tell how we feel starting this challenge so we can tell how we feel at the tend of 2 weeks. <BR> <BR> Well I feel good because I have done these before. We do about 4 a year on the 55+female team. I am a little bit nervous abou... Mon, 15 Jun 2015 12:45:27 EST Day one of team on team challenge and 2nd week of protein shakes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5945043 Today started are first day of team on team challenge in 55+female team and I have done my exercises, eaten one meatless meal and did my positive posting on my teams pages. <BR> Usually Sunday is a free day but didn't realize it when I put the date down. I do these about 4 times a year and we have all kinds of fun. <BR> This is the exercise for today... for example. <BR> lfun exercise for seniors- 50 points <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> lfun exercise for seniors- 50 points <BR> <BR> <link> ww... Sun, 14 Jun 2015 14:48:32 EST Just a thank you, again, I can't say enough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5940994 Just want to tell you all , again, just how much you all mean to me. I was comforted by your prayers, your kind words, and how much you all showed you cared. I will never be able to say this enough, but you are like a second family. Hugs to you all. Pam Sun, 7 Jun 2015 01:10:41 EST Take your life back and do it now! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5939080 I have to say that it is not easy to keep going. It is less work to just sit and watch t.v. or get on the computer and mess around all day. We think there is so much time to work on our health but there isn't. Each and every day you have to move your body or it becomes , like an old machine without oil and use, rusty and unhealthy. <BR> <BR> You say it is too late. You have been this way all your life. Well it is not too late. I am in that position now. My back hurts. I have a bad knee and... Wed, 3 Jun 2015 13:10:13 EST The little team with heart http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5937030 I know how hard you are all trying and I really appreciate it because I want us all to succeed. When you see someone struggling..just a kind word or message on their page can mean so much to them. Theu say words can never hurt you but whoever wrote that must have been hard hearted or just didn't care. <BR> Words can go straight to the heart and sink in to your very soul, so please watch what you say and stop and think before you say it. Just one nice word can put a smile on someones face an... Sat, 30 May 2015 23:49:31 EST His last breath http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5933867 He picked his day. We were going to take him off the ventilator on May 18th and I don't know if I could and would have felt guilty for the rest of my life. He did things his way and always had. <BR> He lay there for weeks just staring here and there , so he looked normal but he didn't talk or respond and I know he was already gone. It hurt to look at him and know he didn't know me or see me but was in his own little world , except for that one day when he turned his head to Lisa and then... Mon, 25 May 2015 08:57:01 EST his eyeas are open http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5919850 he is doing better today. lisa said hi dad and he turned his head and looked at her. I called his name and he looked at me. he didn't say anything but he turned his head and looked right at each of us. sorry I have not been on in awhile. I didn't know if I can sleep on the pull out cot but will find some way. <BR> Rml is very nice. I don't know what those other people were talking about and the nurses are awesome. the building is in very good condition. Outside is really nice and there are b... Wed, 29 Apr 2015 20:04:27 EST to all my friends and spark family http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5912126 I feel as if you are all my extended family and I truly appreciate each and every one of you. I am sorry I can't thank you all personally. You each are special and your words help to ease my stress and worry. Of course I still do worry but you help me to feel not alone. Thanks and God bless you all. Pam Thu, 16 Apr 2015 01:43:02 EST still not awake http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5911934 He is still not awake but his trake came out about three or four times so they ordered a specially made one but it won't come in for about 3 weeks and that is when we are having another doctor conference to see if he is any better or not. He was sent to rml for weaning off the ventilator but they sent him back in one day because they said he was leaking from the bowels. So we are back in the university of Chicago. <BR> They fixed whatever was wrong. They said they thought it was an air le... Wed, 15 Apr 2015 18:59:43 EST going home for 3 or 4 days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5902255 I have to go home for a few days. I am so tired and need a break. I don't have internet at home right now so probably won't update until I get back to the hospital. Going to stay at intervals of 7 days then home for 3 or 4 or I will be sick. <BR> Broke down again this morning because his thumb is black now and they are tying to save it. How much more can they cut off! I feel like I am losing him, one cut at a time. <BR> You can see how much I need to leave for a few days but also scared ... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 11:13:16 EST