HAWTGRANNY2014's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=HAWTGRANNY2014 HAWTGRANNY2014's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ to all my friends and spark family http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5912126 I feel as if you are all my extended family and I truly appreciate each and every one of you. I am sorry I can't thank you all personally. You each are special and your words help to ease my stress and worry. Of course I still do worry but you help me to feel not alone. Thanks and God bless you all. Pam Thu, 16 Apr 2015 01:43:02 EST still not awake http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5911934 He is still not awake but his trake came out about three or four times so they ordered a specially made one but it won't come in for about 3 weeks and that is when we are having another doctor conference to see if he is any better or not. He was sent to rml for weaning off the ventilator but they sent him back in one day because they said he was leaking from the bowels. So we are back in the university of Chicago. <BR> They fixed whatever was wrong. They said they thought it was an air le... Wed, 15 Apr 2015 18:59:43 EST going home for 3 or 4 days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5902255 I have to go home for a few days. I am so tired and need a break. I don't have internet at home right now so probably won't update until I get back to the hospital. Going to stay at intervals of 7 days then home for 3 or 4 or I will be sick. <BR> Broke down again this morning because his thumb is black now and they are tying to save it. How much more can they cut off! I feel like I am losing him, one cut at a time. <BR> You can see how much I need to leave for a few days but also scared ... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 11:13:16 EST Starting today to eat better, don't want to have all this happen to me and update on hubby http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901881 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1757711377.jpg"> <BR> These are substitutes for sugar. Diabetes is what started a lot of what is happening to Jack right now. He has lost both legs. <BR> Eating wrong is part of what started the infection in his heart that had to be rebuilt. I pray that this does not happen to any of you or me and that we listen to the message and eat right. He also didn't exercise so his circulation is bad. He drove everywhere and didn't walk much. I ... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 20:08:40 EST big scare today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901319 His blood pressure dropped really low and his blood sugar dropped to 30. Three doctors came in. They put him back on the ventilator and everything stablelised. the nurse explained to me that they took him off the ventilator too soon. Tonight he is back to still being quiet and sleeping but at least he is back to normal pressure and blood sugar. I was so scared that he wouldn't make it. <BR> <BR> I have been so cold that I was afraid I was coming down with the pneumonia that he has again.... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 19:13:22 EST Another set back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901082 Now he has pneumonia again. I don't know how much more he has to suffer. <BR> Still not responding and sleeping most of the time. He does open his eyes a little longer but less times a day. <BR> I spent the day on the computer because I ran out of my books. Anything to take my mind off of everything for a few minutes. They are doing everything to find out why he is not awakening mentally and I am afraid, he might never. <BR> I appreciate all of your prayers and wishes and sorry I am n... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 09:41:40 EST he opened his eyes and squeezed my finger today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5899698 Two good steps. He opened his eyes a lot...he didn't keep them open but he did open them wide. He also squeezed my finger. He still has to have the trachea but they say he will still be able to talk just not as loud. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2062097539.jpg"> maybe his guardian Angel is with him <BR> Wed, 25 Mar 2015 21:53:50 EST doing the trachea http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5899526 Doctor said it would be needed because if he can't follow commands, he won't cough up the stuff in his throat and that would lead to pneumonia. Then he would have even more problems. Thing is he won't be able to talk and I think he is finally saying a word, hi. <BR> It is temporary and will be taken out as soon as he responds to commands. <BR> He is also getting a feeding tube put in his side of stomach and they will be able to take the one out of his nose. That should feel better , at lea... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 15:26:23 EST another down day....sometimes I think it would have been better if he had just taken the 3 to 5 mont http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897088 He was taken off sedation and the breathing tube this morning and still not out of it. He just pulls on the restraints and doesn't respond to commands or mu voice. He opens his eyes but I don't think he sees anything. He does not talk or even seem to know I am there. <BR> He is coughing off and on to the extent of throwing up. After the pacemaker was pit in, he seems like he is not here again. <BR> They, too , are worried about his mental state and might have a newurologist see him. He w... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 16:39:04 EST pacemaker today and getting back my hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896497 I think I have found a little peace today. He slept very good last night but was also on sedation medicine. I asked myself why he has endured so much and I know we make our bodies either healthy with good food and movement. It is hard, however to watch a loving man have so much pain and slowly have to remove so much of his body, much because of diabetes and years of not taking care of himself. I too have done that and it is why I had 2 cancers. <BR> I asked the doctor after this surgery, ... Fri, 20 Mar 2015 12:42:52 EST The nightmare continues and I can't take much more http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5895493 they are amputating his other leg tomorrow. How much pain can he take? Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:37:43 EST The nightmare never ends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5895239 one step forward and one step back. Yesterday he knew us and today he doesn't who he is either. He just thrashes his arms and body around and sometimes cries and sometimes just yells ohhhh like he is hurting. when you ask him if it hurts he says no. They are going to try a pain doctor because they can't keep giving him pain medicine because of his heart. Tey did take off he breathing tube so a step in the right direction but I try not to cry. I go in the bathroom. He doesn't really loo... Wed, 18 Mar 2015 12:26:44 EST major heart reconstruction http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5892359 Hubby had surgery yesterday. Three valves of his heart was destroyed by i nfection. There was more damage too and they had to reconstruct it the surgery took a long time and then about six hours to stop tje bleeding. They started at 10 am and didnt stop until about 12 am. He is on a breathing tube and not awake. I am doing this on the phone so wont be on much. Please say a prayer to bring him back to me Fri, 13 Mar 2015 15:42:41 EST My heart is crying and I can't do one thing about it. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5886541 They are doing what they can for hubby...all kinds of tests but he is weak and only eats about 3 bites a meal. They gave him something to make him hungry but not working. He just lays there all day sleeping and moving his hands off and on in the air like he is doing something. When he wakes up you don't know what to expect. <BR> <BR> Last night was a bad one. He said he had a nail gun up his sleeve and wanted me to get it out. I told him it was not a nail gun but a heart monitor and he k... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 22:56:51 EST The new me and a yearning to get there and create a new life. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5885174 What's in a life? Do we ever really take time to focus on who we are and what we need? Not what we want because it is seldom what we need. You know I lost my Mom last week and now my husband is really shocking me. He went from doing so much to not being able to do in just about a week. I don't understand but it makes me worry about how short life is. You can be just fine one day and your strength is snatched away the next. <BR> <BR> Life take a lot of work...yet some work so much...are... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 23:35:50 EST Are you listening? Changing into a new you. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5883891 Wow I just realized that I need to make a new me. I have been just on the brink of things. I listen to my body but most of the time ignore it because I want the foods , it says," Do not eat or eat in a small portion as on occasional treat." Oh I don't want to completely shut the door on me but I want to listen to the inside, and not grab that yummy sweet treat every day. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1037375283.jpg"> My body says you can but at the speed o... Fri, 27 Feb 2015 18:42:06 EST messages, internet and hubby in hospital again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882722 Mom has not been gone long but I miss her so much. I grabbed the phone yesterday to tell her Jack was in the hospital then realized she isn't here. <BR> My hubby is in the hospital; again. I am there with him so as long as he is here we will have the internet. We need to get a new internet. Ours is not working very well. They are not sure but might put in a pacemaker. His heart was all over the place they said/ They are going to do an angiagram first. He also has a little pneumonia.... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 20:44:27 EST messages, internet and hubby in hospital again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882720 Mom has not been gone long but I miss her so much. I grabbed the phone yesterday to tell her Jack was in the hospital then realized she isn't here. <BR> My hubby is in the hospital; again. I am there with him so as long as he is here we will have the internet. We need to get a new internet. Ours is not working very well. They are not sure but might put in a pacemaker. His heart was all over the place they said/ They are going to do an angiagram first. He also has a little pneumonia.... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 20:44:10 EST Thank you all for being special friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5878338 I have received so many messages, goodies and sp mail, I just want to thank you all. It meant a lot. I don't know what to say right now except thank you. I love you all. I am not very focused on anything except tomorrow and the funeral Friday. I just can't seem to think right now so again thank you very much. Pam Wed, 18 Feb 2015 20:05:27 EST Lost my Mom today and didn't even get to tell her goodbye http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5877055 My Mom went to the er 11 pm last night but call mno one called me til 5 this morning. Jack went to the er at 10 pm. He got a shot..has arthritis. My mom had gangrene in her bowels . We didn't get to see her...nurse said she would call us when she had Mom settled and never did. My daughter and one Aunt went to see why while I waited with my other aunt to get out of bathroom. my daughter and my aunt came in crying and upset. they called a code blue because my Mom was choking. My daughte... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 21:45:51 EST Day 6 love yourself and shine. What an adventure life is. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5875722 H ope you all have the best day filled with love <BR> A nd kindness, so that we will remember to shine. <BR> P arty everyday by celebrating the good things <BR> P erhaps with the people who love us the most. <BR> Y ou are a special, one of a kind person <BR> <BR> V alue yourself with love and kindness <BR> A lways be who you are...not who others want you to be. <BR> L ove yourself as you would love others <BR> E very day is a new day to shine and follow the adventure <BR> N ever pas... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 16:07:06 EST Day 4- learning new things...looking forward to a new life ...thank God for spark and the spark guy. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5874585 I am trying to focus and find where this adventure will lead me. I joined the gastric sleeve team and the people on there are awesome. Thank God for Spark, its tools and teams for every situation. If it was not here, I would never have met my friends and the friend who led me to this team. <BR> <BR> I have been looking forward to each day and where it will lead me to new things and learning. I am doing meditation again as you know from previous blogs. I have a new positive outlook on my l... Thu, 12 Feb 2015 14:43:36 EST day 3A new ritual to start the morning and funny how one thing leads to another http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5873221 I meditated last night and it was better than the day before. I did ohm instead of counting. It was easier but still a long way to go <BR> <BR> I found this today and it sounds good. I did do the fire breathing and it was nice. Going to start my day off with this tomorrow and see where it goes. I have been wanting to get back to learning. I had a team but it didn't get very far last year called the lightworkers. I wanted to explore new things and ways to help the earth and it people. ... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 13:05:37 EST Day two...As I was told not given the 21 day fix a fair trial http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5872840 Ok tomorrow I am going to start on day one of the 21 day fix and keep going until the 21 days are over. Did buy some fruit and veggies but didn't know I was going to start it again until tonight. so still need some other things. Until I can get them going to do the closest I can. Oh boy, here we go again. I feel like I am on a tilt a whirl and my head is spinning. How about you? Tired of hearing me say the same old, same ole. My granddaughter used to say that lol. <BR> You don't know... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 22:42:22 EST Sharing my journey good or bad...I need to let it out. Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871879 Writing or blogging helps me by letting it go. Once I write it down, I feel better and maybe <BR> reading it will help those who are feeling this know they are not alone. <BR> The other blog I wrote today helped me by telling it to someone and I appreciate those who want to read it. somedays may be positive and some negative but I was crying as I wrote it and let it out. I know some of you may find it repetitive because sometimes it is. I change my mind faster than a bolt of lightening in... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 14:01:54 EST If anyone had the stomach sleeve operation please let me know http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871863 I am still thinking of doing the operation. My fall just reminded me of what a mess I am. <BR> It is so embarrassing to have to call an ambulance just to pick you up. I sometimes feel like I can't breathe anymore just to get up and then I get the spark to do again for awhile. Does anyone feel this hopelessness like you will never achieve success and always be stuck in this body. Sometimes I get that hope and feel positive only fall or face another illness and just wish you could start ov... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 13:35:10 EST Over and over again, I have said my slippers will kill me and today they tried. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871316 Well today I had a fall. My slippers don't have backs ...are old...and I have said over and over again.." Someday these things will kill me." Well today they tried. I have walked right out of them many times. I have stepped backward and they fell off. I have stepped on the back and almost fallen. Well today as I went to turn around, I stepped on the one and fell flat on my back. To make matters worse I hit my head on a metal rod from hubby's clothes wardrobe. <BR> It was not a gracefu... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 14:56:28 EST A snow funk and lost 4 inches but what about pounds? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5870881 If it snows again, supposed to next week, I may just scream. I am tired of all this white stuff. It is like the clouds have dandruff and are washing it out by throwing it at us. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/5/l350980691.jpg"> <BR> <BR> No more! Enough is enough..for heavens sake. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/5/l85953120.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I lost 2 pounds but I am on a gain lose, gain, lose cycle and have been forever. Can't those pound... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 19:56:59 EST I am finding the positive to squash the negative inside SparkPeople are strong. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5866918 I have made so many excuses due to all that happened to us in 2014. <BR> well it is time to squash out that negative year and find the beauty around us and the magic inside of us. If we think about the negative...it will surround us and wrap us in misery and depression. Who needs that? <BR> Yes I will fail, time and again. Thing is to keep trying. Find that positive within....hold on to it and let it shine brighter and brighter letting it carry us to that spot within that shines brightly. ... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 05:28:28 EST stomach sleeve operation or keep on trying? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5863883 My daughter and sil are going to do the stomach sleeve operation. I am thinking about it but think I have myself almost talked out of it. I have a lot of scar tissue and they say that increases the risks. I sure would like to lose fast but one of the risks is also death and I don't think I want to take that chance. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I have tried a lot of diets, pills ( when I was younger) and other things. When I was young they had one that you swallowed cotton balls and it would ... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 16:05:15 EST Getting back my feet and energy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5855228 Well today is day 2 of blc. I did 30 min. of exercise today. It seemed like it wore me up. I have done many times 60 min. of exercise but that was before I got lazy and didn't really have time or room. Trying to get my feet and energy back because right now, I am pooped. <BR> I will get there though... One day at a time. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/1/l919869241.jpg"> I like my nap. <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1771565... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 18:32:57 EST last set of pictures for team icon on sharing the journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5852636 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1606653720.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1185989548.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1528087452.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1421904929.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1272552616.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2144921983.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http:/... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 11:44:08 EST new team icon on sharing the journey? Which one? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5851907 These were all on free to use on your website. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l196854747.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1817446927.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1864993804.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1117176751.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> or leave the butterfly <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/6/l462877390.jpg"> <BR> ... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 15:18:42 EST Lets make a change today both for ourselves and our children http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5851854 America is full of overweight people. We need to change this. Our future generations are being passed on this habit by there parents and grandparent. We try to make our children happy with fast food and sugary treats. Are we making them happy or feeding our own habits which they pass on to their children and grandchildren. How are we taking care of them? Making them sick and getting diseases like diabetes. <BR> I have been overweight my whole life and I have had diabetes, 2 cancers and ... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 14:13:18 EST took me 30 years to lose 70 pounds. Used to look like this. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842031 lWhen we lived In San Antonio Texas, 39 years ago, I looked like this. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l161719644.jpg"> I weighed 340 pounds, which was 70 pounds heavier and the most I have ever weighed in my life. Look at my face! <BR> This is me now, 70 pounds lighter. It took me 30 years to lose those 70 pounds! That is a long time. <BR> this is me now. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/4/l847944892.jpg"> <BR> Still big but a lot thinner face. I w... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 13:36:04 EST they took my mom to the emergency room last night. I hate 2014. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5841087 My mom has had so much trouble with her feet and legs this year. She had both legs 90%blocked. <BR> Blocked and they did surgery to unblock them. They are blocking up again and her toe has been turning black. The foot doctor gave her antibiotics to see if it would make it better. <BR> Tmy opinion, he should have put her in the hospital. That same night her toe turned all the way black, got hard and split open at the underneath and had oozed. <BR> They took her to the emergency room late l... Tue, 30 Dec 2014 08:44:39 EST to all my friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5840193 To all my friends , I hope 2015 brings you the best and blessed new year. This has been a very down year for us and I have let it bring my spirit down but now is the time to hopefully bring 2015 into a positive and great new year. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2142968959.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Happy New Year to you all. Sun, 28 Dec 2014 22:28:54 EST Meeting Santa http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5835919 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1499900189.jpg"> Remember when you were a child and met Santa? Was it at the mall or in those Christmas houses that used to be pulled around on a trailer? <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1427489697.jpg"> This is my great granddaughter Autumn and she looks at him as if to say " Who are you?" It is so much more fun with little ones at Christmas. Our youngest grandchild is 17. They are all growing so fast. I... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 14:20:38 EST Light the spark inside, find that Chrismas spirit and love yourself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5832803 I wrote the best blog and lost it all. So now will try and rewrite it. Please bear with me because I really want this to bring about a spirit that grows within and makes you feel the light that you are. ...the shining goodness and miracle that you truly are. I hope it lets you know that you are worth everything good and holy. <BR> I finally found my Christmas spirit this morning. It is slowly bubbling up from inside. We have had a very hard year but we are together, finally at home and Ch... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 11:19:33 EST Will this nightmare ever end? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5830942 I have lost my Christmas spirit, my hope and my way. My hubby had more of his leg amputated and is having so much trouble. We are finally home but everything is just not right. It is like we landed in a nightmare and can't wake up. <BR> Yesterday he could not get off the toilet. He would not even try to use the walker and pull himself up. So he got down on the floor and was going to crawl to the bed. He couldn't, I told him he would have to use his amputated leg too and it is not healed... Wed, 10 Dec 2014 15:42:39 EST Thanksgiving from the turkeys point of view http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809380 I have been thinking if I were a turkey, what would I feel like? <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2109052673.jpg"> Well my friend don't get scared but it is Thanksgiving month again. <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l19088355.jpg"> What did I tell you the other day when you were laughing at me and the new look my owners gave me. I said " Don't laugh its your turn next." Now who's laughitng? <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sp... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 13:58:44 EST A new month, a new plan, time to count your blessings. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809369 I can't believe this is already November. The trees are changing into a beautiful array of colors. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/4/l44362210.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My mind is on how fast Christmas will be here but how many of us really see how much we have in our lives and how many blessings? <BR> <BR> Hubby is coming home and we will be able to spend the days and holidays together this year, We had a new great granddaughter in March. We have family around us . So many... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 13:44:54 EST Sparkland, follow the yellow brick road and find your brain, heart and courage to go on. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5806460 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l486317261.jpg"> I feel like I have been asleep for years instead of days. I am still hurting but maybe part of that is my fault. I need to exercise starting Wednesday again. The land of spark has videos, I can follow. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l214899930.jpg"> I have to journey along with my spark friends and keep to the plan I formulated. I have been eating smaller portions. I have been eating in t... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 17:04:01 EST An unexpected gift that brought joy to my heart and a knowing that Jesus and God are with me. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5805722 I was feeling pretty down today. I am still hurting and really tired but most of all, I felt so alone. I know God is with me but I still find in my heart that I am asking why? I know it is not for us to understand his plan. I know this! But sometimes when we get tired of being sick. It seems like it goes from one thing to another. I know it is my fault. I ate the wrong things and gained weight and was overweight all my life. It is me who is to blame. God gave us free will. <BR> <BR... Mon, 27 Oct 2014 13:32:58 EST The little kidney stones that could. Relief at last. plan for victory http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5805100 Not feeling as good today as yesterday but my kidney stones are like the little engine that could. They are chugging right out and still going. How many can be in there? As many as want to I guess. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/9/l698643139.jpg"> Can you say more fiber? You already know about the constipation issues and my impacted bowel. Boy I bet you just love the subjects of this blog. My body and mind have been saying eat fruit and veggetables and I had... Sun, 26 Oct 2014 14:28:25 EST no Pain, halloween tricks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5804573 I didn't go to sleep til 5 am and did take a pain pill because of hurting in my port, jaw and neck...but not the horrible pain. I probably could have done without the pain pill but it was a reflex action. <BR> <BR> Woke up about 10 and no pain....except back and that Is pretty much every day. That I can live with. Yeah me! Ambulances please pass by and don't stop here. <BR> Got my dishes done. doing laundry and had lunch. Didn't want breakfast. I told you I gained 10 pounds of water ... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:05:00 EST Another ambulance ride! I am home tonight though after surgery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5804203 Well I took another ride in the ambulance at 3:00 Thursday morning. I'm beginning to think it is my new mode of transportation. <BR> Lets start from the beginning. first went to hospital, found kidney stones, kept me for 2 days then sent me home to pass them. That night pain really bad, ambulance ride to same hospital. Had impacted bowels, cleaned them out. Not a ride at Disneyland but a nightmare. <BR> <BR> They took an exray and said that the stones were all gone. That night pain twi... Fri, 24 Oct 2014 21:29:03 EST giving up. I just can't do the exercise right now. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5802105 I am going to give up on the blc right now. I am hardly eating right now and gained 5 pounds probably from all the fluids they put in me before I came home yesterday. I just took a Norco for pain and waiting for it to kick in so I can go back to sleep. I was up til 3 am. I am in pain but passed about 4 stones now. I feel like a tight band is wound around me and pulling. I have not moved my bowels in 5 days either. They say I night have to go back to the hospital if it doesn't ease up. H... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 11:29:16 EST To all my spark friends and leaving the kidney stones behind. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5801874 I have taken a pain pill and feel pretty good right now. I have dropped 3 stones so far and hope that is all. At least I am home again. I had some bad pain earlier but probably from passing the stones. They look a lot smaller than you would think for causing all the pain. <BR> I did pass the first one in the hospital so they decided to send me home and see if we could avoid surgery and I was all for that. The first night they filled me with 3 morphine shots and a tramadol or something lik... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 01:58:38 EST My 2 day hospital stay http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5801629 After being in the hospital for 25 days with hubby, I got to stay home for 2 days then went to the emergency room with bad side pains. I had kidney stones. They gave me a lot of morphine and I slept a lot, then cat scan and stomach scan. I finally passed one this morning and they let me go home to take medicine and pass more. If the pain comes back I have pain pills and need to call the urologist tomorrow to make follow up plans. <BR> While there they took another exray and found a spot... Mon, 20 Oct 2014 16:00:07 EST