GRANNY2B2's SparkPeople Blog GRANNY2B2's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---WED. <img src=""> Wed, 9 Jul 2014 20:38:02 EST Smile Of The Day---Tues. A couple who’d been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, “Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?” <BR> <BR> He moved over and sat close to her. <BR> <BR> “Dear,” she continued, “do you remember how you used to hold me tight?” <BR> <BR> He reached over and held her tight. <BR> <BR> “And,” she went on, “do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?” <BR> <BR> With that, her husband got up and started to walk out o... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 17:08:20 EST Smile Of The Day---Mon. Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.” <BR> <BR> The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend. “You are wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.” <BR> <BR> Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?” <BR> <BR> The third drunk looked a... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 19:13:37 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Sun. God is smarter than we are and He knows better than we do what we need. <BR> <BR> Sun, 6 Jul 2014 19:47:45 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Sat. Don't waste today regretting the past or dreading the future. Enjoy this day because it is a gift from God! -Joyce <BR> <BR> Sat, 5 Jul 2014 18:47:49 EST Smile Of The Day---Fri. the Fourth. A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. <BR> <BR> “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant. <BR> <BR> “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!” <BR> <BR> Fri, 4 Jul 2014 19:32:52 EST Have A... ... a wonderful 4th of July. <em>652</em> <em>283</em> Thu, 3 Jul 2014 23:42:44 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---WED. When we fall down, God is always there to pick you back up. -Joyce <BR> <BR> Wed, 2 Jul 2014 18:59:06 EST Smile Of The Day---Tues. The Smith family was very proud that their ancestors had come over on the Mayflower, so they hired best-selling author Frank McCourt to look up and write a book about their family history. <BR> <BR> Horror of horrors! They discovered that great uncle Fess had died in the electric chair for committing a murder. They were devastated. <BR> <BR> They didn’t want that in the book, but they didn’t want to leave him out either. <BR> <BR> McCourt said, “Leave it to me.” <BR> <BR> When the book... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 23:33:06 EST Inspired To Keep Pushing <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I weighed in Sat. and lo and behold, to my great surprise, I'd lost a couple. I admit I was afraid that the scale wouldn't have move. But it did. This spark thing really works when you work it. all my diligent for the week has inspired me to continue to build on the new habits and slowly add more. <BR> <BR> When the 5% Summer Challenge is over, I hope I will have lost my 5%!!!!!! <BR> I can do it, I'm worth it a... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 20:06:41 EST Smile Of The Day---Sun. A young man was strolling down a street in South London. As he passed a large building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” over and over again. <BR> <BR> Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn’t. Then he spotted a knot in the wood, and put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some old people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, t... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 20:21:08 EST Smile Of The Day---Sat. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. <BR> <BR> Speaking about a specific condition, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” <BR> <BR> A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?” <BR> Sat, 28 Jun 2014 22:07:14 EST Today's Thought---FRI. Denise Austin: <BR> If you recline, you decline. If you sit, you quit. If you don't use it, you lose it. Keep going for your goals. Fri, 27 Jun 2014 20:37:19 EST Smile Of The Day---Thurs. A young boy walked up to his father and asked, “Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?” <BR> <BR> The father thought for a moment. “Yes, son. Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case.” <BR> Thu, 26 Jun 2014 20:02:07 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Thurs. You may not see or hear God coming, but you will know when He's been there! <BR> Thu, 26 Jun 2014 19:58:13 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---WED. You can overcome every obstacle, as long as you refuse to give up, because you have the Spirit of God inside of you. -Joyce <BR> Wed, 25 Jun 2014 23:24:07 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Tues. <img src=""> Tue, 24 Jun 2014 17:29:20 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Mon. Even though you're not where you need to be, thank God you're not where you used to be. <BR> Mon, 23 Jun 2014 17:40:20 EST Smile Of The Day---Sun. A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: <BR> <BR> “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” <BR> <BR> “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 19:09:06 EST SUMMER IS HERE... HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SUMMER!!!! <BR> <BR> Thanks for reading and commenting on all my blogs. <BR> Keep Sparking! Sat, 21 Jun 2014 19:32:50 EST Summer 2014----5% Challenge- 8---Strategize List your reasons/excuses on why your diets and exercise plans have not been well executed in the past. Give 3 or 4 reasons and for each write a strategy that will keep you on track for 8 weeks. Let's learn from our past behaviors and make this our best Challenge ever! <BR> <BR> Reasons why things failed in the past: <BR> 1. I was not properly tracking every bite, every time. <BR> 2. I was not getting enough exercise. <BR> 3. Not exercising enough days. <BR> 4. I was eating too many desser... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 14:26:56 EST Summer 2014----5% Challenge- 7---Triggers Let's assess the Triggers - <BR> <BR> List ALL your trigger foods. Is it a snack food or part of a meal? Are they sweet or salty? Hot, cold or room temperature? Carbs, comfort foods? <BR> <BR> Ice cream, cake, cookies, potato chips, fries <BR> Mostly, all things sweet. <BR> <BR> What are the sources of the Triggers Foods? Is it a fast food restaurant? Drive thru? Food you order in? Grocery store? Convenience store? Meals with family or friends? Co-workers birthday cake? Treats from othe... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 14:03:28 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Thurs. Don't waste today regretting the past or dreading the future. Enjoy this day because it is a gift from God! -Joyce <BR> <BR> Thu, 19 Jun 2014 19:19:19 EST Summer 2014 5% Challenge- 6 - Motivation What do you want to change? My eating habits and my body shape and size. <BR> <BR> How do you want to look? Smaller, of course, but healthy. <BR> <BR> How do you want to feel? Strong with lots of energy, and not depressed. <BR> <BR> What things will you be able to do in the future with a slimmer healthier body? Take care of myself and my family. Be a good example to others and hopefully inspire them. <BR> <BR> And list all the OTHER things that you want to change! I "must" get to Onederla... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 19:49:28 EST Smile Of The Day---Wed. The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.”You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.” <BR> <BR> The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked. <BR> <BR> The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it’s not better, just unused.” <BR> Wed, 18 Jun 2014 17:56:16 EST Smile Of The Day---Tues. When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. <BR> <BR> He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.” <BR> <BR> The clerk looked at his picture closely. “It’s okay,” he reassured the man: “That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 23:42:38 EST Today's Thought---MON. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. <BR> - Jim Valvano <BR> <BR> Mon, 16 Jun 2014 20:18:49 EST Happy Father's Day... all the Dads in your lives! <BR> My own dad passed away in 1975.... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 18:06:03 EST Smile Of The Day---Sat. Mrs. O’Henry was talking to her husband one night about their son and his allowance. <BR> <BR> “Well, darling,” said Mr. O’Henry, “I had a long talk with him last week about the value of a dollar.” <BR> <BR> “I know,” she replied, “the other day he asked for his allowance in Yen.” <BR> Sat, 14 Jun 2014 20:11:41 EST Summer 5% CHallenge: Exercise Plan. ~~~30 mins. cardio, walking/treadmill or DVD 5 days a week <BR> ~~~strength train 10 mins. 3 times a week <BR> ~~~Goal is to log at least 6000 steps per day... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 19:27:44 EST Summer 5% CHallenge: Nutrition Plan. Check List <BR> <BR> Do you know what diet you will follow? The Spark Diet, as closely as I can. <BR> Found some recipes? Yes! <BR> Grocery list? Done! <BR> Shop? Done! <BR> Do you have the food on hand to get started? Yes. <BR> Have you followed this diet before? Yes. <BR> Did you clean up your kitchen? Yes. <BR> Sat, 14 Jun 2014 18:17:30 EST Smile Of The Day---Thurs. A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die in a plane crash and go up to Heaven's gates together. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who says: "Sorry, it's crowded up here, you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." <BR> <BR> He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" <BR> <BR> "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replies, "the Titanic." <BR> <BR> So St. Peter lets her into Heave... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 20:39:45 EST Today's Thought---WED. Laugh and Love <BR> with all your might <BR> Kiss and Hug a <BR> and snuggle tight <BR> Let go of sadness and regret <BR> Say "I Love You " <BR> every chance you get! <BR> Wed, 11 Jun 2014 20:37:17 EST Smile Of The Day---Tues. The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one woman laughed uproariously. Used to having a better audience, his good mood quickly faded. “What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Don’t you get the jokes?” <BR> <BR> “I don’t have to laugh,” she said. “I’m leaving Friday.” <BR> <BR> Tue, 10 Jun 2014 23:11:44 EST Senior Moments---Mon. Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" <BR> Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' " <BR> The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You got a heart murmur. Be careful.' " <BR> <BR> Mon, 9 Jun 2014 18:59:38 EST BLOG, BLOG, BLOG..... As, most of you probably can tell, I do not like to blog. So here goes: <BR> <BR> The pass couple of weeks have not been my friends. I have overeaten several days, and have not been getting in enough exercise. NO EXCUSES. <BR> <BR> But, I've dusted myself off and I've brow beat myself enough. It hasn't helped and it does no good. So I'VE tucked my little Dawgie tail and I will get back on track, NOW. <BR> <BR> I deserve it and my family deserve it. They need me healthy and well, so t... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 19:40:26 EST Senior Moments---SUN. A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." <BR> "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" <BR> "Twelve-thirty." <BR> Sun, 8 Jun 2014 18:39:51 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Sun. Make happiness a habit. Be so happy you drive the devil stark-raving mad. <BR> <BR> Sun, 8 Jun 2014 18:32:13 EST Senior Moments---Sat. Three older gentlemen are out walking. <BR> The first one says, "Windy, isn't it?" <BR> Second one says, "No! It's Thursday!" <BR> Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." <BR> <BR> <BR> Sat, 7 Jun 2014 23:10:24 EST Smile Of The Day---Fri. My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he’s the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes computers. <BR> <BR> I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day. <BR> <BR> “No, not there,” he directed. “Scroll down.” <BR> Fri, 6 Jun 2014 19:21:52 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Thurs. Something beautiful opens up in us when we open up our hearts and we want to make somebody else's life better. <BR> Thu, 5 Jun 2014 20:44:00 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---WED. Pressing forward is much better than going back where you came from. <BR> Wed, 4 Jun 2014 18:37:09 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---WED. Pressing forward is much better than going back where you came from. <BR> Wed, 4 Jun 2014 18:37:08 EST Smile Of The Day---Tues. It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write “Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2? on the card. <BR> <BR> I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card. It read “Happy Anniversary. You’re Number 2.” <BR> <BR> Tue, 3 Jun 2014 17:51:06 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Mon. So don't give up! Don't stop believing! Stay full of hope and expectation. God's power is limitless, and He'll break through for you. <BR> Mon, 2 Jun 2014 20:35:38 EST The Wit And Wisdom Of Joyce Meyer---Sun. Don't let fear stop you from stepping out and being all that God wants you to be. <BR> <BR> Sun, 1 Jun 2014 23:35:16 EST The Dearest Friend! I have a Friend in Jesus, <BR> He's ever walking near <BR> To share my every burden <BR> And take away my fear. <BR> <BR> It's in His precious name I pray <BR> To our God above; <BR> It's through His sacred teachings that <BR> I learned the way to love. <BR> <BR> God did not put me on this earth <BR> To walk life's path alone; <BR> He sent His Son to be my Guide, <BR> The dearest Friend I've known. <BR> <BR> No other One could be so true, <BR> He bore the cross for me; <BR> Because He died... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 23:32:06 EST May Happy Last Day Of May ! Sat, 31 May 2014 17:29:56 EST Smile Of The Day---Fri. While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.” <BR> Fri, 30 May 2014 20:16:57 EST Today's Blog---Fri. I've been reading lots of fellow teammates blogs, trying to find little gems of info. that will help me on my weight- loss journey. <BR> <BR> One thing I read, a lot about is weighing daily. I think this will be of great help to me for a while. This tool will allow me to see which food are friendly to my body and which ones make me gain weigh. <BR> <BR> This is the second tool that I've started using this week from suggestions on my blogs. Thanks Sparkfriends. Fri, 30 May 2014 20:14:26 EST