GRANDEFILLE's SparkPeople Blog GRANDEFILLE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Journal entry 1 Not yet a week since I came back. I can't say I have done a lot for the weight loss. I didn't binge. There is that. Those of you who have knowed me for a while know that I can do what I set out to do. I did run the 10k, I went back to school for my bachelor's degree in engineering and going well at it. I have, quite a few times lost a goid amount of Weight, but here I am again and again. I have this problem : when I start behaving and do good, part of me just want to binge. The worst if it i... Sat, 11 Feb 2017 07:22:34 EST I know I know.. it's been a while Hello my friends. <BR> <BR> sorry for being away so long. I have been busy with school and all, but I still should have taken the time to come here and comment my friends blogs. <BR> <BR> I can proudly say that I have finished my first year of my bachelor's degree in engineering! It is going good. I am happy with my grades. Going part time is slow but I am getting there( It took me 2 years!) <BR> <BR> Being so busy hasn't been good on my waistline! I do have to get back to it. That ... Wed, 8 Feb 2017 12:42:47 EST week 1 of my new start It has been a week now since my last return. Yeah it is not the first time I have strayed and come back and I suspect it won't be the last. <BR> <BR> I had set simple goals. No less than 2 hours and no more than 4 hours between meals/snacks and walking 7 km per week. <BR> <BR> I managed to keep the eating schedule 5 days out of 7. and walk a bit over 5 k. I will take that as a starting point and work at being better. <BR> <BR> I have decided that my goal is to lose 0.33 pounds a week unt... Tue, 6 Sep 2016 16:11:47 EST 4 months have passed Today I was thinking of my Spark friends and decided to come and see how everyone was doing. I new I hadn't come for a while. I never thought it had been 4 months since my last post. <BR> <BR> Weightwise, I'm not doing so great. I have stopped caring for a while under the pretense that I was too tired and too busy. Naturally it was not a good thing. <BR> <BR> Working full time and having 11.5 hours of class per week is quite a challenge. If you add to that homeworks, studies, house work... Tue, 30 Aug 2016 15:35:46 EST busy schedule and taking care of self I haven't written any blogs since March 8th. I was busy. My work schedule went crazy and I was going to the U every Saturday for my math class. I lost focus on me and that is bad. I got so tired I was eating the house and the neighbourg's house each time I could. Couldn't stop myself. I was getting up at 3am working till 5 am going to work coming back from it taking a 2 to 3 hours nap, working a few hours having a 3-4 hours nap and starting over again. I don't know how exactly I was abl... Sat, 30 Apr 2016 06:36:23 EST Barriers and self-sabotage As I was saying yesterday, in the last 5 years I have been losing weight I have not been able to go below 220 pounds. And it has nothing to do with whatever method I was using. <BR> <BR> Since I am seeing a doctor who specialises in weight loss I figured I should talk to him about it. So I did. <BR> <BR> He made me think of what my life was like when I was that weight. What could have happened that would make me affraid of going back there? So we talked about my life in the last 5 years... Tue, 8 Mar 2016 08:35:13 EST here I am again! hello everyone, <BR> <BR> Been a while since I have posted a blog. The last one was in november 2015!. <BR> <BR> I have been coming once a week or so. Reading some blogs and sometimes taking the time to comment one. <BR> <BR> The main reason I have not been here much is lack of time. Between my family, work and school I don't have much time left. But I have been missing the exchange with friends that I was getting from this site. So here I am. <BR> <BR> Right now, my main problem see... Mon, 7 Mar 2016 14:37:47 EST Another monthly visit. Apparently I have been here once a month lately. I have been really busy. <BR> <BR> Good thing is I feel a lot better. The after effects of having to have a blood transfusion are basically gone. My thyroid was a bit slow on my last blood test so it would explain why I am still tired. <BR> <BR> I am doing great! our puppy Maya is getting bigger and bigger and our dog Raven is getting used to not being mistreated. She is less and less nervous when we talk loud. Having the dogs makes m... Tue, 17 Nov 2015 10:56:36 EST Hi Hello friends. I have been away licking my wounds for a little while... <em>41</em> I am back. <BR> I started working this week. I am tired but glad to go back. I can't stay home forever! <BR> <BR> I've also started walking with Maya. I've been going out with her every morning except Thursday (I was too tired to even go to work). walking the dog is great! We've been out 8 times this week for a total distance of 16km. We also did some walk/run training 2 times this week. I feel gre... Sat, 10 Oct 2015 07:13:19 EST I'm still here.. I have not been very active because I am resting a lot. I did go for some blood work Tuesday and now I have to go see my GP to find out what were the results. Appart from knowing blood is still abnormal I don't know exactly in what way. <BR> <BR> I hae also made the decision to quit my job. I figured that with all the negative things that have happened in my life in the last 3 years I had to act on the one thing I have control over. Being sick is not a choice and appart from doing what n... Tue, 8 Sep 2015 18:10:17 EST update Yesterday I had to go back to the hospital to have them look at a big hematoma that had formed on my abdomen. <BR> <BR> Well good news is there was no pocket of blood in my abdomen. Not so good news is that there had been a leak at some point and my hemoglobin had gone seriously down so I needed some blood. They gave me a bag and I stayed the night to make sure it was enough. The last tests this morning was still acceptable so I was allowed to come back home. <BR> <BR> I am off work till... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:59:47 EST here we go again This is not a good week. Thrusday evening we were supposed to go pick up the new puppy and that did't happen. Instead, I showed up at the ER around 2 am Thursday and ended up having surgery around 7 pm. <BR> <BR> I just got out this morning and I am getting sick of this. I am ready to let other people have their share of surgeries. Enough is enough! <BR> <BR> I get Irony now. Irony is having your gallbladder removed when you have been eating well for over 2 months! <BR> <BR> Sorry ... Sat, 22 Aug 2015 12:29:30 EST week 10 first : there will be no weight in as I am in vacation and will not go to the doctor this week. <BR> <BR> Friday was my last day at work before vacation and it was also the last day at work for my daughter's friend who had gotten a summer job at the company I work for. We had decided that we would go bra shoping then have dinner at a sushi place. <BR> <BR> I needed a bra that wasn't black. So I asked for a 38 as usual. I try it on, I can hook it at the smallest position and it is still t... Mon, 17 Aug 2015 15:10:53 EST feeling good about myself It's wednesday 10am and I am at work (yeah using a bit of company time to blog... <em>18</em> ) <BR> <BR> This week has started well with the 7.6 pounds loss. It has been a great week also because it is my last before my 2 weeks home on vacation with no school and no work! ... mmmm wondering what I will do... Am I able to do nothing after all that I have done this year? <BR> <BR> I tend to look at my success in life with very narrow vision. If I am on a weight loss journey like I am... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 10:59:10 EST week 9 Last week's weight was a reflection of the bad weekend I had had. SO this week I was planning on losing the 3.8 pounds I had gained and some more. To do that, I was to follow strictly the diet for the whole week. I did that. <BR> <BR> My week was busy. I waited the whole time to get my final grade in my calculus class. It was also a week of frustration with the pool. I haven't been able to keep the water clear all summer. I finally decided to change the sand in the filter. I had for... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 19:38:14 EST week 8 OK, so here it is... <BR> <BR> weight in : 232.8 <BR> last week : 229 <BR> <BR> That is a 3.8 pounds gain! hopefully I'll be able to correct that this week. No need to keep those too long <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> So far so good. since Monday morning (yeah I know.. not even 2 days..) I have been very good. I do plan on keeping it that way for the week. I did have a goal of reaching 220 by mid September! <BR> <BR> I am waiting for my final grade... Hopefully I'll have at least a... Tue, 4 Aug 2015 11:22:41 EST when things calm down and you have time to feel. As you know, if you've read me last week, this Saturday was my final exam for my calculus class. I had promised myself I would do nothing this weekend appart from the exam. To finally relax and sleep after months of sleep deprivation, studies, grief and all... <BR> <BR> I had my last class on Wednesday. My husband, feeling better, decided he would pick me up at school so I wouldn't have to take the train back. It makes a big difference. Finishing school at 9pm I usually walk up to the t... Mon, 3 Aug 2015 09:43:51 EST week 7 Ok so week 7... mmm¸ <BR> <BR> It started good. After the weight in on the 21st I had a good tuesday and a good wednesday. As discussed in my previous blog, I decided to offer a puppy to my husband in an attempt to lift his spirit. Well it did work! we went and chose the little one. We will be able to get her on August 19th. She is too young for now. Since I told him that I was to give him a puppy, he has been feeling a lot better. He is sleeping better and we can actually spend some ... Thu, 30 Jul 2015 12:35:38 EST week 6 So I had good news on the scale yesterday. Down to 229.6! getting closer and closer to my lowest weight-in since I joined Spark in April 2011 (225.8). Should be able to reach that goal in the next month. Then my next goal will be to be in the 210's <BR> <BR> As for my blog yesterday. I didn't want to give the impression that I put the needs of others before my own. It is only that when I do grieve, I will need my husband to support me. He is, at this time, unable to do that. So I'd r... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 10:39:03 EST 5th week. For my 5th week, I had a 1 pound loss. That means 5 consecutive weeks posting a loss. That is fantastic! I couldn't be happier. <BR> <BR> On another note. The last week have been tough. My husband has a hard time getting passed the loss of his mother. I have been kind of waiting for my husband to heal before grieving for my father. I do my best to make his life easier so he can heal. I feel like I am carrying him with my two hands while keeping up with work, school, house work and al... Mon, 20 Jul 2015 14:05:22 EST 4th week weight-in So i'm back from the doctor's appointment. I was happy to find out i'm down to 232 that means 19 pounds in 4 weeks! woohoo! <BR> <BR> only the math test! Mon, 6 Jul 2015 19:25:18 EST 4 weeks of a new diet this Monday will be my 4th week weight-in. When I got to the first appointment with the doctor, I was back to 251. Last Monday, I had my 3rd week weight-in. I was 236.6 That means almost 15 pounds in 3 weeks. I am looking forward to Monday's weight-in. So far, this week has been very good. My only cheat was one strawberry. I couldn't resist it! it came from the farm and I knew it was going to be sweet. And it was. <BR> <BR> On another note, my husband lost his aunt this week. Th... Sat, 4 Jul 2015 19:05:18 EST June 24th 2015 It has been 4 years since I joined the Spark. 4 years full of ups and downs. I have lost and found plenty of pounds that I have lost count of. But whatever happened in my life, I have never completely stayed away. I have been inactive for periods but kept coming here to read news of my Spark friends. <BR> <BR> Sparkpeople has been a witness of a lot of things. Training to run for a 5 then a 10k, finding out ang going thru the treatments for a breast cancer. Getting married to the most ... Wed, 24 Jun 2015 10:38:22 EST Semester is almost over I know I haven't been here for a long time. As I had written previously, I have started school in January. Since I plan on getting my Bachelor's In engineering of Information Technology and I don't intend for it to take forever, I took 2 classes this semester. That meant going to school 4 nights a week on top of working 5 days a week. <BR> <BR> My schedule was like this: <BR> Monday and Tuesday: <BR> - 5:30 get up <BR> - 6:05 get out of the house <BR> - 8:00 start the workday <BR> -16:0... Thu, 2 Apr 2015 13:46:16 EST Yes I'm still here I have not been really active here. Let's face it, I have been absent. Reading a few blogs but not posting anything. <BR> <BR> I had surgery Sept 16th. should have been back to work 4 to 6 weeks after. Well, I'm still home. Going to the local health center 7 days a week to have the mesh taken out, getting the 2 sinuses that have formed cleaned and getting a new mesh. <BR> <BR> from the first infection, to the trip to the hospital, to the second infection, to the health clinic visits an... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 09:24:17 EST sept 22nd, meeting with the surgeon today well the surgery on Tuesday went well. It was a lot less painful than I expected so that was good news. I have an appointment today with the surgeon. It is a surgery follow up and he will take of the bandages. I will find out how much he has taken off them. One thing I can say is that I feel lighter already, who would have thought they were that heavy? I know it will take some weeks before the final look but even without seeing them right now and with the stiffness and lingering pain, I... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 08:58:31 EST Monday Sept 15th. Yes I'm still alive and well. School has started and is keeping me real busy. Appart from the fact that I am going to school Monday to Thursday, that I work Monday to Friday, I have homeworks. So far the chemestry and calculus are not too hard, but there is quite a bit of homework. Plus I have this other class online that I have to make sure I respect the schedule. <BR> <BR> I love school. The energy there is fantastic! I wish I could be there full time already! There are a bunch of c... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 13:43:13 EST follow up from yesterday's blog This is the container we filled with concrete : <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is what it looks like this morning. Some of the grass hasn't taken so I just re-seeded some areas. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Next summer will probably be the time for the bench I want to build on the side of the fence and the outside kitchen. we'll see. <BR> Sun, 7 Sep 2014 08:13:00 EST Sept 6th 2014 it sure has been a busy week. <BR> <BR> I started classes on Tuesday. Calculus. It was fun to be there. The energy is sooo good there. The other students could be my children but I'm having a ball rubbing elbows with them. <BR> <BR> So, Tuesday and wednesday I took the car in the morning. I went directly to the U in the hope of getting a parking space there. Both morning none was free so I parked close to work. After work I went to class and then walked back the 1.9km to the car. <BR... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 22:26:23 EST August 26 I haven't posted since Aug. 1st. I have been busy finishing the work outside. It looks great! <BR> <BR> I am still losing weight slowly and I am proud of it. Seems I have really found my balance this time. I do not exercise, I do not follow a diet. I am just mindfull of not eatin too much and it is working so I'll keep doing just that. <BR> <BR> Life gets busy now. Tomorrow I have an assessment test at school, Thursday is my husband's birthday dinner with the girls. Then Friday I ha... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 08:21:00 EST day 53 of the new me. This morning I was 234. Compared to the 248 I was weighting on June 16th, that is great! It means I have lost a total of 14 pounds in 53 days (just under 7 weeks) . an average of at least 2 pounds a week. <BR> <BR> What have I done? mainly I have not had any mindless eating episode. I am a lot calmer and have changed my attitude towards food. <BR> <BR> my weekday meals usually consist of : <BR> <BR> Breakfast : Around 5am <BR> 1 or 2 yogourt (Activia) I don't like the low fat low wh... Fri, 1 Aug 2014 10:49:13 EST I'm still here So far this summer has been very busy.... I have managed to replace part of the fence for my backyard, destroyed concrete and got all the concrete in a container. Of course I had help to do it, but I have worked on that project 3 weekends in a row. (include Canada Day weekend wich had 4 days since I took a vacation day on the Monday) <BR> <BR> Last weekend I had decided I wouldn't do anything. Ever since June 24th (Quebec's national day), I haven't stopped. each day consisted of going to... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 15:11:29 EST Day 24 Still going and seeing changes 24 days ago I was back to 248. I was not happy about it but I had accepted it as my starting weight. <BR> <BR> what have I been doing since? Simple... eat less. I make sure I get enough veggies in my system. Raw veggies mostly. I bring my lunch at work wich normaly consists of 2 snacks and 1 meal. Snacks are usually yogurt & raw veggies. Lunch is some protein (chicken, ham, eggs, whatever is on hand at home) and raw veggies. Then, for dinner the rule is 1 plate only and desert no mor... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 12:41:42 EST day 8 (still going strong) this weekend was busy... <BR> Saturday, I attended my uncle's funeral in Deschaillons. that is a bit over 2 hours drive. So we left at 7 am. went to the funeral home then the church for the service, then the lunch. At wich I am happy to say I wasn't even tempted to touch the deserts. After the reception, we went with our cousins to the cabin on the side of the St-laurence river. Lots of childhood memories there. Then on the way back we stopped at "la fromagerie Lemaire" for dinner and... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 10:22:58 EST day 5 (small victories) Well so far so good. <BR> <BR> Yesterday my daughter was having a party with her friends to celebrate the end of school. I got back from work in a house filled with goodies. I was to cook hambergers and hotdogs for the girls. My other daughter came for a visit. I managed to get some good red wine out for her without taking any, I didn't touch the chips nor any other goodies. I had a hamberger patty and 3 hotdogs. That gave me about 1700 calories wich makes my average calories per day... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 13:04:17 EST How I am learning to rely on ME for validation and success A few more things are coming into place.... <BR> <BR> Ever since I have started this quest, I have stumbled, found some clues of what made me unable to go back to my former self. And these past few weeks, I have found some again. <BR> <BR> I have been very good with my food goal and it hasn't been as tough as it has in the past. Why? What is different? <BR> <BR> I got most of my grades from University. A+, A and B+ the one I'm still waiting for looks like an A-. But there are still 2 ... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 09:23:17 EST Day 3 As I was saying, hearing about that lady's story has put my life and little miseries in perspective. So I was motivated to start over and do it right. It all comes down to me and I shouldn't use any excuse to not do it. <BR> <BR> I am aiming for between 1200 to 1550 calories a day <BR> <BR> Day 1 was Monday. <BR> =============== <BR> I was weighting 248 pounds when I woke up. mmmmm...... <BR> <BR> I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon. To make a story short, 2 years ago I aske... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:13:57 EST back from vacation, return to a normal life..... The trip to Cuba was nice. We took the time, my husband and I, to relax. The Cubans are great people and the beach was fantastic. <BR> <BR> Now back to reality.... <BR> <BR> I finaly got on the scale and it wasn't good... I'm back to 248 pounds. <em>24</em> I really have to stop kidding myself and do what I have to do to lose weight. It's not like it is a secret recipe! I know what to do I just have to do it. time to stop putting everything off till tomorrow. <BR> <BR> While in... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 10:44:58 EST grrr... ok so right now I am not a happy camper... <BR> <BR> just back from the doctor's office. I went because I was told, after the lumpectomy that I would have to go see a doctor if the breast became red. Because they had to take out some lymph nodes, I would be at risk for Cellulitis. I saw the redness Tuesday but didn't think it would stay. Wednesday I woke up and the right one was the same size as the left one..mmm... Since a third of the right is gone to heaven, It means considerable swell... Thu, 22 May 2014 12:37:57 EST follow up on the weekend.. Tuesday, my nephew came to look at the job and give me a list of things to buy to install a socket outside so I can buy a new pump and plug it. <BR> <BR> well... apparently the thought of being thrown away or the view of the tech scared the pump into starting again! As I was going to show my nephew how it didn't work, I flipped the switch and the pump started! yeah! $440 in my pockets! <BR> <BR> Nephew told me he'll be back Sunday to do a maintenance on the pump so I can keep it going f... Thu, 22 May 2014 05:52:43 EST long weekend adventures.... This weekend was a long weekend. Monday being a holliday, I had decided to use this time to get the pool started, mow the lawn, get some cleaning done ... basically cramping a week's worth of work in a 3 days weekend. (why do we allways do that??) <BR> <BR> My daughter had a driver's lesson that I had to attend to. They took 2 hours to explain to us the right way to be when letting our kids drive with the learner's permit. Since we had forgotten her class in tuesday, we had to take it in S... Tue, 20 May 2014 10:46:55 EST May 2014. New sets of goals As some of you know, this is a busy time for me. With work, school, supporting my husband etc. <BR> <BR> I can say that my life goes from high to low but mostly high. Appart from my mother in-law starting her chemo for lung cancer. <BR> <BR> - I have had my bi-yearly appointment with the oncologist, surgeon and radio-oncologist to confim I ham still cancer free <BR> - I have been accepted to get my bachelor's degree in Information Technology Engineering <BR> - I have passed the assessment... Wed, 14 May 2014 12:58:37 EST Life changes to tell the truth, I haven't been on the scale for something like 2 weeks... I'm almost afraid to get on it! <em>20</em> . I have been busy. I have been preocupied. But I am well. <BR> Saturday I had to go to the university to take some assessment tests in math and science. Everyone had to. It was to make sure we remembered enough to follow our courses. It was only to determine if we needed refresher courses. <BR> <BR> So Saturday I went, for the first time to the school I will atte... Mon, 12 May 2014 09:06:52 EST I have been quiet lately I know. I haven't blog much lately and haven't been really active either.. I appologize to my Sparkfriend for not really commenting their blogs as I normally do. <BR> <BR> A lot is hapenning here. My mother in-law has recieved a diagnostic of lung cancer and it doesn't look good. So I have been taking real good care of my husband. He needs the support. Almost 2 years ago he had to go thru seeing me get my breast cancer diagnostic and go thru treatments that ended only last year. Now, a year af... Thu, 8 May 2014 09:22:18 EST Friday April 25th This week, so far is not so bad week. It started not so good with Easter and too much eating not so good stuff, but as the week progressed I did better. <BR> <BR> This week was also my follow up appointment with the oncologist and surgeon. That went well. The oncologist congratulated me for the fact that in August, it will be 2 years since the lumpectomy. I am to see them again in January. Got a routine mammo scheduled in Dec. And a referal to plastic surgery. I'll soon have a good di... Fri, 25 Apr 2014 08:33:38 EST Here is a short video of my father's 100th birthday bash! <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Mon, 21 Apr 2014 21:18:07 EST week 16 This had been an interesting busy week. <BR> <BR> To make sure I will be on time for all the homework I have left to do. I have decided to stay at work 1-2 hours every night to do some. the environment in my office is a lot better to work than home. Mostly because there are less distractions. I did move ahead on my work, but arrived home way too famished. The result, I ate too much, way too much almost every night. <BR> <BR> So the plan this week will be to bring not only my lunch and ... Sun, 20 Apr 2014 10:31:55 EST week 15 I just had another good week. I have to keep that streak of having good weeks. <BR> Being more focus during the work week and not putting pressure on myself on the weekends has worked for the last 3 weeks. Lets make sure it keeps working. <BR> <BR> I walked a bit more this week and my foot told me that althought it is feeling a lot better it isn't ready yet. SO this week I'll be carefull <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I did get a... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 09:37:24 EST Moving along with my college applications I was happy to find out this morning this message in my inbox : <BR> <BR> ========================= <BR> CONCORDIA UNIVERSITY <BR> <BR> Date : April 09, 2014 <BR> Student ID : <BR> <BR> Hélène Brochu <BR> <BR> <BR> Please let us know whether the mailing address is incorrect at: <BR> <BR> <BR> Dear Ms. Brochu, <BR> <BR> We have carefully reviewed your application, but we are unable to make a decision on the basis of the information we have at this... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 10:15:03 EST Week 14 Week 14 was to be a test in making myself lose weight with reduced exercises. <BR> <BR> I couldn't really walk (4.09 km total for the week) and did the 3 pushups training. What I did also is to bring bigger lunches to make sure I didn't get home so hungry I could eat a horse. I normally bring myself a lunch and 2 snacks totaling about 800 calories. This week I brought that up to at least 1000 calories. It apparently was effective in making me less hungry at night. So I was able to stay i... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 10:32:37 EST