GOLFINSUNSHINE's SparkPeople Blog GOLFINSUNSHINE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Doctor's Office I went to the doctor last week and every time I am sent to the exam room - I secretly jump on the scale to see where I am - was not happy because I haven't been focused on my health at all for some time. <BR> <BR> When the doctor came in - we talked some and then he said, "Get on the scale" - I didn't want to and told him I already knew what the reading would be - for whatever reason he continued to insist - this made me angry - but I have to admit its put a fire under my arse.... <BR> <BR... Thu, 11 Apr 2013 14:29:39 EST Refresh and restart... Ok its Monday and I am going to really make a concerted effort to stay on track this week - but am starting about thinking about today only.... my toughest time is always the evening.... <BR> <BR> I am still searching for a way to get past my need to eat and eat in the evening... <BR> <BR> I am soooo hoping I have it figured out before the end of 2013.... Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:53:12 EST Dent marks in my midsection... Ok, I finally started working out again after falling off the fitness spark planet for about 11 months. The biggest change I have noticed about myself tho is that I got rid of all my oversize clothes and when I noticed that my jeans were so uncomfortable that I had huge dents in my midsection... well I didn't have a fail safe... and started making baby steps to get back on track. <BR> Another change was that I usually would fall off literally until I hit my highest weight and then some and t... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:37:20 EST Discouraged.. I have gained weight and feel totally guilty about it. Everything I lost in the last year - a total of 15lbs - which was a total struggle - went back on in a very short time. I am trying very hard to get back to where I was in my thinking and nutrition.....why is it so hard to get back and so easy to fall.... <BR> <BR> I'm tired and discouraged.... <BR> <BR> Hopefully this won't last too long... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 12:36:06 EST The dreaded Rollercoaster... Okay, the truth is - I have lost and gained so much weight over my lifetime you would think I would get off this rollercoaster - but sadly not just yet.... <BR> <BR> I had someone give me a box of my favourite cookies before Christmas - shortbread - and have been pretty much eating everything/anything that appeals to me since then...I couldn't keep my hand out of the box once I started eating them and yes ate them till I felt ill.... <BR> <BR> I decided to get back to working towards my goa... Sat, 19 May 2012 14:36:27 EST what do I say to myself I have been thinking of my internal dialogue alot lately. Are my comments negative or positive. I believe I am a very positive person but when it comes to my self talk - well I could be kinder and I for sure could be more positive. I know all the buzz information on choosing how we look at things in a positive light and choosing how we want to see things can change how you feel. Putting this into practise is the key and even as I was writing this - I wanted to say it isn't easy and it can be... Sat, 10 Mar 2012 14:00:45 EST Struggling... Mmmmm - finding it extremely hard to stay focused with my food choices. Just when I think that I have it under control - I bounce back to bad habits... <BR> <BR> The messages I have been saying to myself are not good - and kinda harsh - and even tho I know that - I am finding it difficult to stop.... <BR> <BR> Want to stay positive.....looked at my September rewrite goals and well lets just say that not much happened on that front either..... <BR> <BR> Checked on my Spark friends and didn... Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:57:08 EST summer fun... Well I am finishing up a contract job in about 2 weeks and am so looking forward to some time to have some summer fun - I plan on doing all kinds of activities that in past summers I didn't feel I could do. This time - I even am able to put on smaller sized clothes that haven't fit in like seems forever... <BR> <BR> This being thinner than I have been for a very long time - really does feel wonderful .... so all my friends out there - don't give up - stay focused.... <BR> <BR> Played golf t... Sat, 13 Aug 2011 02:05:19 EST penalty for binging... Well I was right - I skipped my weekly weigh-in because of my bottomless pit binging weekend and sure eneough - I am up 3 lbs.... I refuse to add it to my weight loss progress ticker - because I truly want to be my goal weight - so this 3 lb penalty is a wake-up call. I wish I could drop it as fast as I put it on .....but then losing weight would be easy wouldn't it? <BR> <BR> Past the lips for a second - sugar high - for a second - extra lbs for probably a month - is it worth it? I am wri... Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:59:35 EST The bottomless pit.... Omg I am so mad at myself - I went away for 3 days for my hubby's birthday and I ate and ate and ate and drank and drank and drank - funny thing was - I ate a ton and drank a ton but really never was full.....I think I have a bottomless pit .... <BR> <BR> When I got back from this hiatus ...of course I didn't want to know how much I gained - there was no doubt tho that the scales would show a gain....I figured I would give myself a week off weighing myself and look this upcoming Monday.... ... Thu, 14 Jul 2011 13:28:05 EST That special feeling... 1. putting on something that hasn't fit for a very long time <BR> 2. working out even when you don't want to and after its done being so proud of yourself <BR> 3. having someone say you don't need to lose any more weight <BR> 4. having more energy than you've had for a very long time <BR> 5. not being so darned uncomfortable in those jeans that literally cut into your stomach <BR> 6. being told your special <BR> 7. cheering up your spark friends and helping them stay on ... Tue, 28 Jun 2011 14:08:09 EST Really nice aha moment... I am currently visiting my sister and into my second week away from home....I read a book today that is called "The Four Agreements" - A Toltec Wisdom Collection.... I decided to write down the Four Agreements - the short version on the inside of the book cover.... <BR> <BR> 1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD <BR> Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love... Fri, 20 May 2011 05:27:18 EST "The Scales"... Ok, went to the doc today and every time I do - I usually get a chance to weigh myself in the room - before doc comes in... <BR> <BR> I quickly took off my jacket and sweater (what is it with this weather lol) to get my weighing done in <BR> <BR> Well my weight on the doc's scale registers about 6 pounds higher - grrrrrrrr <BR> Since I have been home this has kinda bummed me out - (didn't tell doc either) which I think is hilarious because he hasn't even noticed what I have ... Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:32:14 EST Today.... Boy I am struggling today..... I don't want to do my workout.....I keep procrastinating.... <BR> <BR> I have had to change up my workout routines several times since I started Spark. I still find that I don't have much left after I do it and I keep reading over and over how so many people have extra energy after they work out. I haven't yet experienced this so I decided to do my cardio tape first and my strength training tape right after so at least the days in between I don't have to push m... Wed, 30 Mar 2011 17:13:27 EST Head Space... The first thing I want to say is that I am thrilled quite a few of my Spark friends responded to the no blogging blog.... The support is just so wonderful - and I am thrilled if maybe - just maybe - I helped them get back to being as active as they can be here - This is for us.. <BR> <BR> I was thinking today that I have been on this weight loss journey for six months now. I found myself once again thinking about how things would change when I reached my goal....this to me is a very dangero... Sun, 27 Mar 2011 17:32:02 EST Not blogging... I've been checking in with all my spark friends and have noticed that no one seems to be blogging lately. I like to see how they are doing or what they are thinking and so often I find similar thoughts. I haven't blogged lately either and realized that the reason is because I didn't want to say that I am frustrated. <BR> <BR> I have been really trying and not seeing any results lately. My hubby weighs me every Monday and this time I wanted to scream with anguish as I didn't lose anything fo... Tue, 22 Mar 2011 03:31:41 EST Better frames of mind... Well I am back on track....these last couple of weeks truly proved to myself that I am an emotional - Oh well - I kinda knew that but not to the extent that I found out... I can and now forgive myself... <BR> <BR> Saying no biggie is so far- that I can see- the most wonderful of accomplishments!! Who knew that saying its ok to yourself would actually get me back on track least this roller coaster ride isn't heading a slow slippery slope downwards for extended periods ... Thu, 10 Mar 2011 13:24:11 EST Late at night.... I find myself back up late at night and for some unknown reason I want to eat and eat and eat....I have the hardest time at night....I can eat exactly right until I have my dinner .....then I want to wander into the kitchen to munch and nothing seems to satisfy me... <BR> <BR> I've read and read about having to tune into your body and only eat when your hungry and how so often when you are overweight you may not know how to do that. I do the wait 20 min after I eat dinner to ensure I actuall... Fri, 25 Feb 2011 02:26:07 EST In Memory... I found out yesterday that my mother's brother passed away - My Uncle Bill. I knew he was ill. He did live a wonderful full life - he was a teacher. He had the million dollar family - one girl - one boy. My first thought was he is now with Aunt Chris - who passed away about 4 years ago. I truly believe that we will be greeted by those that we love when we pass. My mother, just before she died - spoke her sister's name (and she had passed many many years prior). <BR> <BR> I cried, I ate....... Fri, 11 Feb 2011 19:22:35 EST Obsessive I went to the Bingo on Saturday with my girlfriend and my neice. No, we didn't win ...grrr....Well, just before I was going to meet them, I remembered that they have a free dinner included and that it likely wouldn't be very healthy. I looked around the hall and so many women there were sadly very overweight. True to form the meal was a huge plate of pasta with meatsauce and a big white crusty bun. I started to eat the pasta and there was a thick layer of grease floating on my plate, it was c... Mon, 7 Feb 2011 02:50:30 EST Changing... I am changing in little ways I never expected. I have been ill for two days now - my back is sending me jabbing pain, my innards feel like they are coming inside out and all I can think about is not being well enough to excercise. Wow - when I think of all the days I wouldn't and didn't want to excercise - this is truly a change. I think of this process like a huge boulder - not completely round that I am trying to push - some days I get good momentum - some days I just barely keep it moving ... Fri, 4 Feb 2011 17:21:29 EST Too much thinking... Ok I have read about 6 other blogs and thought I better write something to stop thinking negative. I have been having a hard time lately - this is not about my weight. I am trying very hard not to think sad thoughts .... sometimes it is not easy. I want to really believe that the Lord has decided that I wouldn't succeed with this - something I really wanted with all my heart. I have been saying the rosary almost every day praying for it. The end date to get my call is January 31st. I haven't... Sat, 29 Jan 2011 15:28:27 EST Zero Another zero loss - that would have crushed me before - not now. I really don't care how long it takes anymore .... I guess because I used to think that goal day was the day I could go back to my "normal". Well developing this NEW NORMAL is tons of work, tons of ups and downs, tons of blips but MEGATONS of feel good. <BR> I am currently on a sleep challenge. I am doing the first week of the sleep challenge. My problem is I wake up over and over and I am always tired. On average I wake up- so... Tue, 18 Jan 2011 12:59:38 EST Momentum I am so grateful that I am feeling better than I have in over 20 years. I really am shocked....I didn't expect to start having more energy ... I figured I was an exception to the rule - that I would never really ever like excercising for the sake of excersising and how in the hell would I ever work out regularly....esp. if I found it such - a - chore..... I AM experiencing a shift..... I Am excited....I Am starting to like the changes ...... I got many more to make (not kidding myself lol) ... Mon, 17 Jan 2011 13:25:37 EST Thoughts in my head I keep thinking about the saying... nothing gained nothing ventured - which doesn't jive with the messages of Spark. I lost nothing this week - but I didn't gain either.... I still think the growth that I am experiencing about my mental thoughts and the shifts that are occurring are wonderful. I am trying very hard at the moment to be ok with a zero loss this week - guess its time to read some inspirational thoughts..... lol. I am likely just on a platueau - and need to change up my excercis... Thu, 13 Jan 2011 09:20:55 EST Confused I am confused. I have this toning tape - Richard Simmons that used the stretch thingie - not sure what its called. I didn't realize the importance of toning - until I have been reading the fitness articles in spark. Well each time I do it - the next day I am sincerely hurting (the first time was over a month - the last time was like a week and this time is only the day after so far.) Each time a different area of my body too. What the heck am I doing wrong? I watch the video and do it exactly... Thu, 6 Jan 2011 20:24:35 EST Pictures My sister told me not to worry about her. I told her that I love her too much - and that I will always worry about her. Unfortunately my two sisters and my brother are all overweight. I finally - myself lost enuf weight to move into the "overweight" category and only just recently - (according to all the bmi charts - I was obese). I am excited to be down to this category - and feel like for the first time I have the right momentum. According to my family - I'm the thin one.... I've kinda g... Wed, 5 Jan 2011 04:58:02 EST Ups and Downs I learned something very valuable today. Over the Christmas holidays - specifically the 24th, the 25th and the 26th of December I really did indulge - with my own consent and realization about the possible consequences. Well when I did my weekly weigh-in - HOLY - I went up 5 lbs in 3 days. I was very disappointed - saddened really - because all of the weight I had lost since I joined Spark - was 5 lbs - in 5 weeks. After 2 days of being discouraged, to say the least - one friend said, I proba... Tue, 4 Jan 2011 02:51:32 EST Frustration I have family and friends who I love dearly and are unhealthy weights. I so want them to find the inspiration I have from this Spark site - but don't want to offend or sound like I am hounding them. I also want them active here to understand and participate in my support network (which I am trying to build at the moment). I even went so far as to sign some on myself .... lol .... but to date not one has made a spark page - or read my congratulatory emails - I know cause I talk to them almost... Mon, 3 Jan 2011 02:11:13 EST